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*stares blankly at this page for like 15 minutes, thinking about stuff and things*
Screw it, Im gonna go home and take some Ritalin. Panic Monsters been making me hide instead of
running lately so Im pretty much useless unless pumped full of drugs >_<
November 1, 2013 at 2:40 am - Reply
I thought you were amazing when I read your CYPSY post, but youve outdone yourself this
time!
November 1, 2013 at 5:48 am - Reply
Creat post!
I love the Panic Monster, as an ex-procrastinator on the mend I could really relate to it. Ill look forward
to your next post, but I hope youll also cover some psychological backgroundsBesides |ust our
personality types, there are usually family history etc reasons underneath procrastination.
November 1, 2013 at 9:26 pm - Reply
Welcome reader, yes u made it to the actual bottom of this thread. If this should not be the
bottom of this thread anymore the great procrastination monkey god is asking u to write a good post.
U can only avoid to write a post by not reading on those comments. The great Monkey Cod is furhter
willing to do You, dear reader, a great favour. If u brush ur teeth and lie into Your bed he wants to let
You sleep immidietly. Should You have found this text before 23:00 and would normally go to bed at
3:42 the great Monkey god is willing to let u sleep anyways. Cood nightnighty night (yes this is
supposed to be a poemic stop-codon)
*'J.T".&.,-W&)-(.
@-'-#J'N*
@-'-#J'N*
QN-J.+)OQ.,*")
@-'-#J'N*
@-'-#J'N*
)('N*+,(']5
1.--,W.& ?+.O('
b)&O F)&+O.++
2GXP3;?>2<3;
@-'-#J'N*
November 1, 2013 at 10:52 pm - Reply
This article is a riddle. The answer to the question of how to rid of or work with the monkey is
hidden within the article itself. Right?
November 2, 2013 at 12:16 am - Reply
How to get rid of the monkey? procrastination.ca
November 2, 2013 at 9:04 am - Reply
Im |ust gonna say it: I love you.
November 2, 2013 at 11:51 am - Reply
Thank you. Cained more insight from this than I did a recent counseling session set up solely
to find out how to overcome this monkey. The counselor has an adult brain and no monkey. Looking
forward to Tuesdays continuation.
November 3, 2013 at 2:13 am - Reply
This. Is. Me. Its like you read my past or something. And spun it into something hilarious.
November 3, 2013 at 7:15 pm - Reply
I completely saw myself in this! And it really freaked me out Thank you for delivering this
message in a light-hearted comic-like medium, and softening the blow, or I might have gotten rather
depressed : P. To fellow compulsive procrastinators out there, have any of you managed to deal with
your procrastination, and win against it? Im getting concerned, because for many years now Ive had
serious issues with procrastination-and now, those well-worn habits are threatening to |eopardize my
career as a graduate PhD student. If something doesnt change soon, I could very well get kicked out
the program! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
November 4, 2013 at 7:42 am - Reply
And in reading this I have procrastinated further. On the plus side it has energised me to get
some work done after a short stint on youtube. Then facebook. Then youtube again. Looking forward
to next weeks article for obvious reasons. x
November 4, 2013 at 10:15 am - Reply
Its all so painfully true
November 4, 2013 at 12:00 pm - Reply
You, my friend, are fucking awesome.
November 4, 2013 at 2:22 pm - Reply
I am still a chronic procrastinator and will always fight the trait, but 20 years ago I managed
to actually study for my graduate school oral exams for a period of 6 weeks by taping this sign over my
Tv screen: "Discipline is remembering what you want. (I passed). Today with the Internet, its much
harder.
February 27, 2014 at 3:57 pm - Reply
Heres an idea. Instead of procrastinating with no fixed ob|ective, how about going through
what youve written, and correcting the spelling and punctuation. It would be "procrastination with
a purpose and therefore one step in the right direction.
@-'-#J'N*
@-'-#J'N*
3-- G'")&
))&'- /",OU#
C-Y-'T-
November 4, 2013 at 3:01 pm - Reply
This is a great post EXCEPT equating depressions with apathy is really, really far afield.
Kind of frustrating to a person (me) who struggles with it a lot. A person with depression may give the
appearance of apathy, but thats not the whole story. Its kind of like saying a procrastinator is getting a
lot done: look at them checking the fridge! checking their email! drawing pictures of their IC monkey!!!
Many of us depressed folks feel like we care a lot more than the people around us do. Sometimes I even
find myself wanting to withdraw (therefore appearing apathetic) |ust to avoid (what appears to me at
that moment to be) the shallow, self-serving apathy of others.
Please note the parentheses and dont flame me.
November 4, 2013 at 4:49 pm - Reply
"A lot of you are probably reading this article while in the Dark Playground.
You are absolutely right. Oh Cod, why.
November 5, 2013 at 4:19 am - Reply
u;re right. only a true procrastinator will understand this. totally. shite.
November 5, 2013 at 1:23 pm - Reply
Im eagerly anticipating your next post.
November 5, 2013 at 1:45 pm - Reply
its Tuesday, where is the post?
@-'-#J'N*
November 6, 2013 at 7:48 pm - Reply
"Discipline is remembering what you want. That is so good I came back to dig through the
comments to find it and copy it down. Thank you, Anonymous. I have to tape that over my ipad
screen.
!),+ FN+ !"#
?'-,)
@-'-#J'N*
November 5, 2013 at 1:54 pm - Reply
I procrastinated throughout the week, so it wont be up until tonight.
November 5, 2013 at 2:12 pm - Reply
I was hitting the refresh button for the last half an hour at work. Thanks for replying. We
are waiting. with our monkeys on our shoulders. Oh-the-pressure! Cood luck!
November 6, 2013 at 10:13 am - Reply
Why not post it at all? Amazing how angry procrastinators can make others. I have in the
mean time gone elsewhere on the web in search of how procrastinators answers for this problem -
there seems to be only attempts by people who think they know So do you? If you did, then the
article would have been finished.
Your comment: "Of course, this is no way to live. - You live like this
Also is it interesting that in the 3 reasons you give on why the behavior has to change are all self-
centered. You totally forgot about how irritated others get because they cannot rely on you. Wed
like strive toward predictability and you are screwing this up. You are unpredictable.
As per your reason 1 you know that this was going to be unpleasant.
?'-#)
@-'-#J'N*
@-'-#J'N*
@-'-#J'N*
A,-QU)+
g,J.-) >'*.-K)**.&
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November 5, 2013 at 5:05 pm - Reply
We need the second chapter very much)
November 5, 2013 at 5:33 pm - Reply
I want some magic trick
November 5, 2013 at 7:39 pm - Reply
The "I procrastinate because I can guy here.
I guess maybe I dont understand something. To me "procrastination is when you unnecessarily put
something off and instead let the IC monkey drive, but eventually (usually at the last minute) you get
that something done. Thats what I do. I still get things done and theyre typically of good quality.I
|ust do them in a hurried rush right before theyre due.
What I see expressed often in these comments is something entirely different. When I see
"procrastination ruined my life and similar comments, the only way I can see how that happens is if
you put things off, but then dont do them. In my mind, thats not procrastination; thats being
irresponsible.
IOW, "procrastination = "puts things off until the last minute
"Irresponsible = "puts things off and never does them
See the difference? In "procrastination, the key word is "until. Yeah, its at the last minute and you
caused yourself a lot of undue stress by waiting, but you still got it done. If you never get it done, youre
not procrastinating; youre |ust irresponsible.
So even though Im a chronic procrastinator, it would never even occur to me to simply not do things.
And btw, my co-workers are now calling me "the personification of the instant gratification monkey.
Yep, Im that guy who comes into your office and says, "You gotta see this!
November 6, 2013 at 7:21 pm - Reply
I love this, its nice to know Im not the only one. In case any of you havent already seen this
Hyperbole and a Half post, it also will probably make you nod sadly in recognition:
http:]]hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com]2010]06]this-is-why-ill-never-be-adult.html
November 8, 2013 at 3:35 pm - Reply
I |ust wanted to say that you drew a fantastic signpost.
November 8, 2013 at 3:37 pm - Reply
Creat!!!!
November 10, 2013 at 8:20 am - Reply
Thank you very much. This hit home.
@-'-#J'N*
December 9, 2013 at 7:24 am - Reply
I think you have this backwards - if you think about it its pretty irresponsible to put things
off till the last minute, assuming you dont have to.
Im already ashamed of my procrastination thanks - I dont need to be shamed about it more.
G# F)Z ?.OW
November 10, 2013 at 10:15 am - Reply
"Discipline is remembering what you want. Well said, comrade.
My cousin sent me the link to this blog article (which appears to have been written only 12 days ago), as
well as the link to the follow-up to it (Part Two). My cousin said the descriptions were spot-on, and that
Id really en|oy it. I knew from experience that both of these opinions would be validated: I knew the
blog would be spot-on, and I knew that Id en|oy it, because my cousin knows me like few others, and
his opinions may be trusted.
HOWEvER: unlike those of you who look forward to the weekly thoughts of this very talented thinker, I
was unfamiliar with his]her work, and rather than fill a paradigm of Dark Playground for me, this blog
and the other one (which I havent read yet) for me primarily represent the archetype of "Something
Im Supposed to Be Doing. Therefore, though I received these links from my cousin two days ago, Im
not reading them until now, which is a victory of sorts, because if Id waited any longer, I most likely
would have never gotten around to it at all. Still, lets not celebrate until Ive read both parts, which is in
no way guaranteed.
By the way, I did read fairly closely all the comments made up to this point. One of the best forms of
procrastination for me-my favorite, truth be told-is to turn simple tasks into forms of rocket science,
thereby creating the illusion of "thoroughness, which most would say carries a connotation of
"productivity, which thereby delays the total collapse of my self-esteem another hour or two. For
example, I tried very hard not to post a response, because I knew I would get carried away and write
waaaay too much, and then feel bad later for making bad decisions. Yes, I tried very hard not to post a
response, and succeeded in delaying having posted this response by an estimated 40 seconds.
FURTHERMORE: meanwhile, Im feeling terribly guilty for not reading the draft of my good friends
novel that he sent me two months ago-another pro|ect that I know Ill en|oy-ONCE I CET STARTED.
Unfortunately, since reading my friends novel draft is on my official To-Do List, it automatically
becomes associated in my brain as yet another Something Im Supposed to Be Doing (instead of as
something I make willing sacrifices to experience as soon as possible). Thus associated, reading his
novel becomes yet another valuable pro|ect I instead willfully put off for fear that Im forgetting
something else Im "supposed to be doing, or for fear that it wont be as good as I thought, or for fear
that it will be so good that Ill feel bad for not writing a novel myself, etc., etc.
Whats my point? I have two. FIRST, I would say that procrastination has destroyed my life, except that I
am 100% certain that procrastination is a symptom of the conditions that did the damage, not the cause
in and of itself. To wit, as one of the commenters mentioned above, other factors in our pasts are as
much to blame as any of us individually. |And since my full post |ust got re|ected for being too long, I
shall continue this in reply to myself. In case youre curious, the limit is 4,096 characters. You can see
why Ive never used my Twitter account.]
G# F)Z ?.OW
November 10, 2013 at 10:26 am - Reply
|Contd from above, due to character limit. Creat. Now my character is even more limited.]
Permit me to expound upon my first point. These days, "personal responsibility seems vogue to
propone, but for anyone with even a passing understanding of brain chemistry and emotional
development, "personal responsibility should be obvious as simply the modern version of a
phenomenon far older than even written history itself (and we know this because the earliest
writings we have already refer to it as ancient). The phenomenon is that of the village scapegoat,
better known nowadays as "blaming the victim. Since any manageable rubric of life requires some
modicum of unquestioned optimism, all humans who arent patently suicidal are living on some
unconscious level with the axiomatic belief that the "universe (if not outright even Cod Her- or
Himself) is on some level "|ust, meaning that "|ustice is somehow an inherent characteristic of
existence. Humans by and large ARE capable of believing that life is NOT ALWAYS fair, but we are
fundamentally INCAPABLE of believing life is NEvER fair.
Humans are unable to entertain seriously the notion that "fairness is a concept with no reality
outside of necessary human conceptualization. Even I, myself, here and now, can talk and write
about existence as being devoid of inherent |ustice, but if I truly believed that, I would stop typing
@-'-#J'N*
@-'-#J'N*
November 11, 2013 at 12:47 pm - Reply
Reading this at 745a Monday morning instead of starting work.
AWWWW YEAAAAAAHHHHHH
November 13, 2013 at 4:08 pm - Reply
Forget LOL, this was so hilarious I laughed so hard I cried! You gotta share this with Conan O
G# F)Z ?.OW
right now, because that would mean that any attempts toward human communication and
empathy are absurd and futile. Am I right? Can I get a witness?
Didnt I have a point? Didnt I have two? Fine, if you insist, heres my first point in a nutshell:
humans necessarily live with hope that we can control our destinies, even at the expense of the
dignity of those among us who are failing to do |ust that. If youre failing to live on your own terms;
if youre failing to determine your own destiny (as I am); you neednt get too discouraged (as least
not immediately). Despite how we may sometimes see ourselves, and despite how others may
sometimes see us, the evidence indicates that people like us are in fact NOT moral degenerates
without self-control or sense of propriety. That would be reprehensible. Were much better than
that. Were |ust plain-old vanilla losers.
|Are you laughing? Aren't I a riot? I was more fun at parties before I quit drinking, so if anyone
finds this depressing, they are free to blame it on my sobriety from alcohol (four years this past |uly
9th). Better yet, let's blame it on the caffeine, Wellbutrin, and Adderall I'm on right now, because if I
weren't hopped up on stimulants, I'd have long ago died of sedative overdose. Better yet, let's
blame it on the doctors who prescribed them, or on the mother who sent me to the doctors, after
she screwed me up as a child with her misdirected, pathological resentment of my absent, clueless
father. Ah, yes, that's it: the father. Let's do blame the father, shall we?]
My SECOND (and final) point is this: since I only now am reading this blog, written 12 days ago, then
I wont have to wait a week to read the follow-up. See? Procrastination is good; procrastination is
not only the filter by which we discover what truly matters, but also our insurance that well never
be embarrassingly early to parties that dont require our attendance.
November 10, 2013 at 11:04 am - Reply
PS: Although I had the original, sincere intention of |umping straight to Wait But Why for
the answer to avoiding procrastination, the above commentary (1,139 words, or 6,506 characters,
including spaces) has now taken over three and a half hours of my prime procrastination time.
Besides, 210 minutes of uninterrupted typing]editing on any couch-even a comfy one like mine -
becomes terribly uncomfortable, and may even result in in|ury, without a dedicated period of
abstention. Therefore, Im leaving now at 2:38AM Pacific Time to walk my wonderful two aging dogs
through the dark, damp streets of my suburban neighborhood, while listening to my Sansa Clip set
to FM radio, which, at this very moment, is playing the Divertimento in E flat, K 563, by Mozart,
Wolfgang Amadeus, as performed (according to the stations website) by Henning Kraggerud
(violin), Lars Anders Tomter (viola), and Christoph Richter (cello). EQUALLY IMPORTANT: I cannot
overemphasize the profound effect upon ones priorities, and in turn upon ones habits of
procrastination, of a task being moved from the status of something one does INSTEAD of what one
is "supposed to be doing, to the status of being on the Official To-Do List. Now that Ive made this
post-Im NOT |oking-the task of reading and responding to the follow-up blog (the next Wait But
Why) is now "Something Im Supposed to Be Doing, and therefore a prime ob|ect of
procrastination. Im sorry, seriously, if you en|oyed anything Ive added, and had been perhaps
hoping for more. I guess youll |ust have to (wait for it, wait for it)-I guess youll |ust have toer
wait. As one of the commenters pointed out, the price paid by the procrastinator is compounded by
the chaos, inefficiency, and frustration that We Procrastinators in|ect into the lives of others. The
Cood News, if you were hoping for more, is that it is now 3:00AM Pacific Time exactly-the
proverbial "middle of the night-and chances are good that by the time you read this, what had
been my Dark Playground will have already manifested an opportunity for your continued self-
ruination.
S.K,-
@-'-#J'N*
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2GXP3;?>2<3;
4.K#-
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Brian for the greater good! The drawings are priceless.
November 15, 2013 at 11:18 pm - Reply
Prognosis is bad: took me 16 days to unfreeze this tab from my Chrome tab-tree and read
this.
November 17, 2013 at 11:36 pm - Reply
Yikes! That hit home!
November 19, 2013 at 4:48 pm - Reply
Whats missing here is for me is the fear factor BEFORE the panic monster gets involved. Part
of the reason why I dont want to do a piece of written work is because I know what I produce will be
|udged by others. Anticipating that feeling and imagining that person reading my work and potentially
finding it lacking often works alongside the instant gratification monkey to stop me writing anything.
Ive found that being less of a perfectionist and writing down whatever is in my head at the time is a
great way of making progress rather than expecting everything that goes down on the page should
sound great first time. Ive been thinking this way since reading a book about procrastination which
argued that procrastinators are at heart perfectionists which is why they dont get anything done
(presumably until fear of failing to hand in anything at all outweighs fear of being found out as a bad
writer]poor student). This fear of being found out also helps to explain under achievement of
procrastinators because they are afraid that their efforts will be |udged and come up wanting. Do these
ideas fit in with the model outlined above or can they be included in some way?
November 24, 2013 at 11:20 am - Reply
Ive been thinking of this article since I first read it. Your analogies are fucking genius. Ive
come to realize that the Instant Cratification Monkey is actually the id, the rational decision maker = the
ego and the suffering procrastinator who berates him = super ego.
November 26, 2013 at 7:07 am - Reply
I have a friend who is *THE* perfect procrastinator. It frustrates the living crap out of me
when Im left waiting for HOURS for him |ust to get something done. Every Christmas its the same
thing - everyone gets here I have to call him up a little bit later. I try to be understanding, but
seriously, it feels like hes expecting me to wait around for him which infuriates the living crap out of
me
No one ever thinks of the henchmans family.
December 2, 2013 at 9:20 am - Reply
This is me. I am this. We are one.
December 3, 2013 at 1:29 am - Reply
I put off going back to college until I was 50. I put off graduating until I was 56. I put off
finishing going to school until I turn 61.next year. How did you get inside my head?
December 4, 2013 at 2:03 pm - Reply
Sigh. if this wasnt so horrible it would be funny. Most of my life is spent in the Dark
Playground and it took me days to even read this article. I would open it up and then the stupid monkey
1)*'-
|anuary 12, 2014 at 11:03 am - Reply
HAHAHAHHAHAHAAHA YES!
@Z)J <,O*'- <,O*'-
@-'-#J'N*
@-'-#J'N*
@-'-#J'N*
@-'-#J'N*
1NNNN*+ W,-.
would remind me of some interesting video on Youtube or that I might have something Im watching
on Ebay end without bidding on it. I think he realized that my realization that Im not |ust lazy, Im a
chronic procrastinator and its all his fucking fault might put his life in |eopardy. At any rate, Im glad to
see Im not alone. Though, I wish my teachers would have cut me some slack. My panic monster is
present, for sure, though it doesnt like to show up until the very last second which is usually too late.
He screams like theres time, though, scaring the shit out of the monkey, me, and anyone unfortunate
enough to be in my general vicinity. Is there really any hope in beating this? Really? I opened up Part 2
and immediately went back to Part 1 to read the comments.
December 15, 2013 at 12:22 pm - Reply
Why on earth youve to make it clear with a monkey? Its so disappointing to consider a
monkey in my head! Because Im a procrastinator too!!! Damn it. But Im getting recovered from this
site.lol
December 17, 2013 at 9:32 am - Reply
I am a procrastinator but with the panic monster in role from time to time
December 26, 2013 at 3:56 am - Reply
My panic monster has been working overtime this past year lol! I got so much accomplished
all of a sudden.
December 27, 2013 at 1:39 am - Reply
I have been like this since childhood and the cause was not a monkey, it was fear of not
doing things perfectly or fear of not being liked-in the case of lack of participation.
December 30, 2013 at 9:54 pm - Reply
Writing my life with your words. Seriously. I laughed, I cried and I feel thankful for the
realisation that I am not alone in having this issue. Allo my life and its incredibly depressing. Its like
having no impulse control. I head to my office and find myself walking upstairs to my room instead to
play yet another stupid game on my iPad. I sit down at my desk and start working, but even when I am
incredibly motivated I find myself INCREDIBLY bored after only a few minutes. I have wondered
whether I have adult ADHD. The anxiety and panic attacks I get as a result of not being able to get out
of the Dark Playground are beyond horrid. They wake me at 2am and propel me down the stairs back to
my desk to work on something that should really only take 2 hours but ends up taking me all night. Its
shocking. Please keep writing about how you are addressing this - god knows its great to laugh at
oneself but this year, I would really like to kick the Monkey in his fat, furry little face and get on with
feeling like I am genuinely worthwhile and I actually have talent, instead of feeling like I am faking all
the time!
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|anuary 3, 2014 at 1:20 am - Reply
The finished product is everything. EvERYTHINC. I include your physical health and
happiness in the "product, by the way. So the only problems with waiting until the last 72 hours to
write your 90 page paper was (1) you fucked up your health and (2) the paper was bad. But unless you
screwed up your health writing this post, your method worked perfectly. It did not matter that you
paused before drawing the signposts. Not. One. Bit.
Honestly, getting something done can be separated into the "information gathering phase and the
"putting that information to action phase. Who cares if you spend 90% in the information gathering
phase? Who cares if you take breaks? Who says you have to be 50]50? Fuck that noise.
Finished product is everything. *drops microphone*
D,*) h ;". G.)-,-Q 'W G.
@-'-#J'N*
@-'-#J'N*
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|anuary 3, 2014 at 6:02 pm - Reply
A friend send me the link to this article this morning and I immediately headed for the Dark
Playground, indeed. This is precisely how my head works. Laughed out loud all the way through (while
crying on the inside because, of course, its so true). Coing to the other side of the park now to read
part two because, you know, all the things I really should have accomplished by this time today can wait
|ust a little while longer.
I am certain Ill be back to read more here.
|anuary 3, 2014 at 9:16 pm - Reply
I hate you so much because this is a perfect description of myself, except you had to throw in
this:
"Why would we practice that instrument when its not fun?
Actually, practicing the piano is a Dark Playground activity for me. Sure, I get better at it, but only mildly
so (its usually songs I already know, not new ones), and meanwhile I dont get any real work done.
This is probably why I basically havent played any games in the past year or so. Being perpetually in
the Dark Playground, outright gaming feels way too cheap and Id feel too guilty to actually do it
(instead I waste my time on the Internet).
Then again, I somehow managed to spend 4 straight hours writing a blog post that I was supposed to
write last night, so maybe theres hope. Maybe. This doesnt happen very often.
I shall now watch as I manage to spend at least 4 hours wasting time instead of spending the 1 hour
doing the productive thing that I ought to get done ASAP (in this case, my periodic Kan|i practice -
which, as Im using a spaced repetition system, gets worse and more work piles up the longer I leave it
aside. Ive |ust come out of 3 months of procrastination on it. Im hoping I dont spiral back into that
again, but Im not holding my breath.)
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|anuary 5, 2014 at 4:50 am - Reply
No I am not in the dark playground. I am on down time after a day of watching football
where i used all the commercials and half time to do all my work that is prescribed for today AND
tomorrow. I |ust wanted to come here for some insight into the procrastinator because i have a good
friend who has it bad and I cant relate. Most of all I |ust wanted a good laugh at how pathetic
procrastinators are.
<)&&#
G'-Y.# Q,&O
@-'-#J'N*
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|anuary 5, 2014 at 12:54 pm - Reply
This is brilliant. And so accurate.
|anuary 5, 2014 at 4:45 pm - Reply
I love that drawing of the panic monster. I am sad watching my gifted daughter struggle with
her monkey! she is so clever and was way ahead at first but now struggling with school coz they
persecute her all the time for humming fidgeting and doodling which she actually cant help? I ended
up being excluded fro school for similar and never knew what I was doing wrong! I tried to the best of
my ability but couldnt ever do stuff on time! I would be told to tidy my room and get lost in a magazine
and dream about a pro|ect etc the. Be in huge trouble for not listening, it has been a lifelong struggle
for me and I have definitely not reached my potential but spent years planning and dreaming then
getting ill with stress. I want to teach my daughter to conquer this so she doesnt waste her talent.
|anuary 6, 2014 at 6:52 am - Reply
I find that my procrastination worsens the older I get. I am 75; in 5 years I wont be
accomplishing one single thing.
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|anuary 7, 2014 at 3:30 pm - Reply
What a wonderful article, thank you for this.
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|anuary 7, 2014 at 8:31 pm - Reply
Oh my I love this post. Being able to break this down is something to be applauded. Creat
work
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|anuary 8, 2014 at 8:32 am - Reply
This article addresses only the negative consequences of procrastination. Sometimes
procrastination is the masterstroke of strategy. Think about a game of chess - or anything that it
mirrors, a competitive endeavor with tactics of any kind - anything from a basketball game to a military
engagement. Procrastination is not |ust "putting off to tomorrow that which you could do today; it can
also be formulated as "not committing prematurely to a consequential decision you do not yet have to
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make. Creat sportsmen, coaches, generals, and tacticians procrastinate all the time
The key is educating the procrastinators brain to do it when it is productive, and avoid it when it is
inappropriate.
|anuary 8, 2014 at 10:47 am - Reply
This is a fabulous way to describe procrastination. Its clear that this is a place youve lived
for a while. Thank you for writing this. (am now going back to work as I am currently procrastinating. of
course.)
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|anuary 8, 2014 at 11:59 am - Reply
Thank you, nice |ob and helpful
Would write more but Im working on some clinical records that need completingvery soon
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|anuary 8, 2014 at 2:58 pm - Reply
I am not sure why you assumed that all obese people are overeaters, and people with
depression |ust need to be understood.
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|anuary 10, 2014 at 9:11 pm - Reply
Been there and done that!
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|anuary 14, 2014 at 6:05 am - Reply
This is a very cool article. I have struggled with procrastination most of my life, so I do find
this interesting.
Here are two areas with regard to procrastination that I think are worthy of more consideration and
exploration:
1. There likely are "unconscious benefits that those of us who procrastinate get out of procrastinating.
Psychologists have a term for this: "Secondary Cain, but I think it is a poor term that does little to
clarify what is going on. Here is a simple example of what I mean by "unconscious benefit, which I
think will make it clear: Suppose I have chronic back pain. And suppose that I use that more and more
as an excuse to get out of things that I really do not want to do, such as helping my mother in law
rearrange her furniture every month or so, or taking my wife ballroom dancing. In both cases my
chronic "bad back allows me, (or we could even say gives me the benefit), of being able to say to my
mother in law, "You know, Louise, I would love to come spend my Saturday moving the furniture all
around your house. But, Im so sorry, Ive got this bad back so I cant move your furniture. sorry! Or,
"Honey, I would love to take you ballroom dancing, but Ive got this bad back and the doctor told me
that things like dancing are |ust not safe for me.
In both cases I got to gracefully get out of something I really did not want to do, and I got out of them
without having to be a "bad guy. So that is a very real benefit from having chronic back pain.
It seems to be a universal characteristic of human emotional functionality that when we are faced with
some impediment, "negative condition or anything that we consciously do not want, but which we
seem to be stuck with for at least a significant length of time, our unconscious minds find multiple
benefits from the condition. In my more than 35 years as a holistic health researcher and practitioner I
have never seen any chronic condition where this is not a factor. And I have observed it in myself
whenever I have had an in|ury or other limitation that lasted more than a day or so.
Further, I have found that many measures that I expected to fix the primary problem rather quickly
either do not fix it at all, or do so very, very slowly until or unless these unconscious benefits have been
brought into the conscious and identified and then consciously released or renounced.
Ill bet that most procrastinators get unconscious benefits from the behavior. I am going to investigate
this in my own case and see if it helps.
2. Those familiar with Neurolinguistic Programming or "NLP know that whenever we see a conscious
decision to behave a certain way in order to achieve certain results, but where the person is actually
behaving in ways that make the results unlikely or even impossible, there are unconscious beliefs at
work that do not support the conscious choice but that lead to what look like self-sabotaging behaviors
and choices. Again, Ill furnish and example. Suppose someone is in financial stress. They could make
conscious decisions and changes that seem like they should fix the problem, or at least substantially
improve their financial circumstances. Thats pretty obvious, right? But then we observe that their
actual behavior makes it almost certain that they will stay in financial distress.
An NLP practitioner, or anyone who knows even a little about NLP might observe and ask a question
such as: "What would |ohn have to believe in order to want to have financial security but still work for
far less than his he and his skills are worth? If we ask questions like that and then sit in observant
stillness and wait for the answers to bubble up, we likely will see things like: "I dont really believe that I
deserve financial comfort and security. Of course, this is in the unconscious until you take the time and
effort to uncover it and bring it into the light of day. Most people will not consciously choose poverty
when they seem to have a choice. But the unconscious is another matter entirely.
Again, it seems likely that there are unconscious beliefs that support procrastination. In fact, in the
process of writing this, one |ust bubbled up to the surface for me: On at least some level I believe that if
I stop procrastinating and become more dependable and predictable in terms of meeting deadlines
that the people around me will come to depend on me much more. Then I am at greater risk than ever
of disappointing them. That is scary for me.
|ust thought I would share these 2 crucial ideas. I hope they are helpful. Now I need to get back to the
work I have been procrastinating and that I promised a couple of clients I would get done!
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|anuary 15, 2014 at 4:39 am - Reply
Amusing and insightful post!
I think you may have missed a step. You know, the one where you do truly amazing and inspired work
on other pro|ects as a therapeutic form of procrastination on the pro|ect with the incredibly close,
looming deadline.
Thats how the whole dysfunctional system stays afloat year after year.
|anuary 16, 2014 at 3:13 pm - Reply
Organized planners have a hard time understanding Procrastinators.But procrastinators
cant understand non- procrastinators.It causes us anxiety if the pro|ect is not done a week ahead of
time.We always fear something would come up that would delay getting it done.
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|anuary 17, 2014 at 1:47 pm - Reply
These two blog posts have been changing my life for the last two weeks. Finally I understand
some of the mechanisms that have been going on in my brain and caused me to stagnate and struggle
immensly whenever Ive tried to get a pro|ect done. Im getting things done for the first time now, and
it looks like Im going to be able to keep it up. Im setting new routines and positive habits for myself
when getting on with a task! Thank you so much!
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|anuary 18, 2014 at 11:47 am - Reply
Cenuinely terrified of the Panic Monster!
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|anuary 19, 2014 at 3:09 pm - Reply
Thrilled to hear it.
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|anuary 30, 2014 at 7:58 am - Reply
I can identify with this post and loved it! EXCEPT for that one "4-letter-word beginning with
s If you could change that word to something a little more reader-friendly, I would totally share this
with every single person I know! (Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease! :D)
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February 4, 2014 at 10:06 pm - Reply
I |ust love this post! So accurate. Thankyou!
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February 7, 2014 at 6:50 am - Reply
Why do you know my life?! In the dark playground now, meant to start my homeowrk 8
hours ago, oops.
February 7, 2014 at 1:27 pm - Reply
I think this article is very interesting. However, it depicts procrastination as inherently bad
like a distraction form more important things. I believe procrastination can be very good too. It can help
you focus on yourself and letting yourself and thoughts go in times when everything is about MUSTs
and HAvE TOs. I found this interesting pro-procrastination list here: http:]]procrastinators-
united.tumblr.com]post]75573164345]pro-procrastination-3-procrastination-saves-timenotes
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February 15, 2014 at 7:29 pm - Reply
While reading this I ended up moving to the Primate Awards and reading all of that, and then
reading the Bunny Manifesto and reading all of that. Finally I came back here only to be distracted by a
browser game Im playing. Soon I finished this post. This is my life.
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February 18, 2014 at 2:40 am - Reply
This sums up my academic career. Thank you for making it past the dark playground and
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posting this. I am determined to try these tips out now.
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February 26, 2014 at 3:13 pm - Reply
This is a totally awesome and completely accurate depiction. I would write more, but Im
procrastinating. LOL
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February 27, 2014 at 7:49 am - Reply
y god you are so right about things here! I am supposed to be studying but here I am in the
dark playground. Cood article!
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February 27, 2014 at 8:57 pm - Reply
my girlfriend was so excited about this article and the fact that she is not alone, that she
started crying and wanted to send a thankful email to the author of this text. However, as she is a true
procrastinator, she will probably never manage to write it, so I do it: Thank you!
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February 28, 2014 at 2:19 pm - Reply
I love reading all your comments and the blog post, of course. Here is another page that
should speak from your heart. http:]]procrastinators-united.tumblr.com Its kind of paradoxical how we
are so aware of who we are but still dont manage to change our bad behaviors
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March 6, 2014 at 5:59 pm - Reply
This is so nice. And so true. Not that I didnt know it. But coming from someone else, it
sounds so much better and more logical. And more real. Creat |ob. Thank you!
March 16, 2014 at 3:09 am - Reply
So the real questionWhy would the tiger win?
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March 19, 2014 at 2:23 am - Reply
Ill read this later.
March 19, 2014 at 3:23 pm - Reply
hi
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March 23, 2014 at 3:25 am - Reply
That Panic Monster made me laugh so hard, most likely because I was looking at him
today Aaaaaaahhhhhhh
That section pretty much described my day
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April 9, 2014 at 7:56 am - Reply
I look up music and articles about procrastination when Im procrastinating. I have |ust come
down from that tree, took control of the steering wheel one week ago, and Im debating whether or not
to give up and let go again, right now. I am not a lucky procrastinator. I dont even consider myself a
procrastinator anymore. I have "graduated with a BA in Procrastination. I am a Never Do-er. My panic
monster and monkey are best friends. They play together, without me.
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April 10, 2014 at 9:24 pm - Reply
Its too funny how long the comment list is on an article about procrastination. I wish I could
say I was writing this comment from somewhere other than the Dark Playground, but what are you
gonna do.
I read this at least once a week, and I |ust wanted to say that I think its one of the most insightful,
brilliant pieces of writing on the Internet. Its helped me tremendously to use your visualizations to
break through procrastination. Do I always wrangle the monkey? No, but Im winning more than I used
to.
Its funny, but I dont even know what the rest of your blog is about. Ill get around to checking your
other posts, but it will have to be from the Happy Playground.
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April 12, 2014 at 1:41 am - Reply
This article makes "Spanking the Monkey now ambiguous.
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April 25, 2014 at 8:20 am - Reply
I beat procrastination with the pomodoro technique. I |ust told the monkey, yes well read
about which medieval kings were related to each other then argue with people on wikipedia, AFTER we
do 25 mins of work. Once i got on the work it felt good so I continued it. For me, tomatoes are a bit like
procrastination anyway so it came easy. Maybe I am not a true procrastinator? NO, but I am, because if
I dont do tomatoes I actually have no other incentive to work, the phd doesnt matter, its all about the
tomatoes. see http:]]www.mytomatoes.com if interested.
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April 26, 2014 at 10:03 pm - Reply
Fantastic post which really unpicks whats going on when anything in the world seems more
appealing than sitting down and writing my novel. The terms Instant Cratification Monkey and The
Dark Woods will stick hereafter in my mind! I even have Instant Cratifcation Monkey as my screensaver
as a reminder. Creat stuff!
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April 27, 2014 at 9:15 pm - Reply
I have a procrastination problem but would say I have more of a Lemming of Lethargy than
a Instant Cratification Monkey
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May 7, 2014 at 4:24 am - Reply
Cood post. Im dealing with some of these issues as well..
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May 12, 2014 at 5:56 am - Reply
oh no where is my panic monster. Im in my Dark playground. Panic monster I need you
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May 21, 2014 at 11:46 am - Reply
Man I don't even know what to say this is perfect and brilliant! Monkey, panic monster, dark
playground are all describes my life. That's crazy. I thought I was the only one suffering from this damn
thing. I hope we all(real procrastinators) kick this monster's ass and reach our real potential.
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May 30, 2014 at 4:23 pm - Reply
I feel like my feelings are exagerating but I want to cryfor feeling so identified and
somehow slightly relived that Im not alone -|ust because I
|une 8, 2014 at 6:16 am - Reply
Link exchange is nothing else but it is simply placing the other persons web site link on your
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|uly 4, 2014 at 3:33 pm - Reply
I wanted to print it out, so that I can read it without any distraction. But the print-layout of
your site is totally messed up!
|uly 6, 2014 at 5:06 pm - Reply
yeah the three of us were like that until we took acid. now me and my monkey |ust sit around
laughing at literally everything because nothing really matters in life or trying to cheer up the panic
monster from his bad trip
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|uly 12, 2014 at 12:35 pm - Reply
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The problem with this article is though, that the procrastinator youre describing is not really a
procrastinator Let me explain.
Most people I know, works in the way that you described, they want to do fun stuff all the time and
rather watch Youtube, play video games and watch Facebook rather than studying. And then when a
test comes up and when its panic, they do everything at the same time, often the night before. But this
is a description of the common person tbh.
A true procrastinator in my option, is a person like me who have problems motivating myself to even do
stuff that I find interesting and funny. For example, I have to motivate myself to do my hobbies like
playing video games and watch series and stuff like that, which other people at least do without even
have to think about it. Thats what I call true procrastinating. Even when I am unemployed and can use
all my days for whatever I want and have a TODO list on all fun stuff I want to do, the result is more like
I walk around the apartment doing nothing and then do something useless at the computer and maybe
read forums.
The people I know who I consider the opposite of a procrastinator is the description you use of a
procrastinator. At least they spend their time with their interests and effectively use their time for fun
stuff they have as interests. They are very intense at doing stuff which they consider funny to do. Which
in my option is not a procrastinator, because they actually do a lot of stuff. These people are the true
instant-gratification people, because they can without thinking about it start up a video game and play
all day. While people like me can wait days before I even start one.
Anyone agree?
|uly 13, 2014 at 7:08 pm - Reply
Checking to see if this site allows anonymous comments. I dont bother with sites that dont.
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|uly 15, 2014 at 5:42 pm - Reply
BORINC
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|uly 23, 2014 at 10:45 pm - Reply
Thanks for some other informative website. Where else could I get that kind of information
written in such a perfect way? Ive a challenge that I am |ust now operating on, and Ive been on the
look out for such information.
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|uly 29, 2014 at 3:22 pm - Reply
what can be more obvious sign of procrastination than having this article open in one of
browers tab and not reading it for about two months? The truth is painful and fearful and these are
real reasons to procrastinate
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August 8, 2014 at 10:04 am - Reply
Cood info. Lucky me I came across your blog by chance (stumbleupon). Ive book marked it
for later!
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August 23, 2014 at 2:35 am - Reply
I LOvE YOUR SITE. very insightful articles.
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September 9, 2014 at 2:07 pm - Reply
Ill read this later.
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September 15, 2014 at 1:44 pm - Reply
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