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INNER GAME MAGAZINE

-Premium Pages Vol. 11 Become Mature with Dr. Paul
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Page 1....Cover
Page 2-5Getting to know Dr. Paul
Page 5-7..Dr. Pauls HERB
Page 7-9.Dr. Pauls inner game techniques

Dr. Paul is a psychiatrist who is bringing in knowledge that comes from years of training.
If his life was a movie, what would the opening scene be?

He really got into the movie Wanted his

life would be like the beginning of that
movie where his boss is giving him a hard
time, his girlfriend is cheating on him, and
he hasnt taken action yet.

Dr. Pauls Love Evolution:

Like many people, he started off not

knowing what to do but being very
studious and analytical. Then he realized
he also had to use his body. He didnt
have good support from parents, wasnt
pushed to do sports, go to school dances,
so he had an extra hunger to learn what
his dad wasnt teaching him. He went
through a ton of trial and error.
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He didnt kiss a girl until age 20, which gives him more appreciation for his skill
with women now. He became very experienced very fast.

He got engaged when he was still in college and didnt know how to balance the
relationship with his work load. She ended up cheating on him with an NFL
player. After that, he didnt date for three years. After med school, he became
more social again and realized it was time to rebuild what he had lost.

What makes him happy?

Freedom. Intellectual freedom, physical freedom, to do and be what he wants.

Helping people. Giving birth to new concepts or ideas.

What makes him sad?

Ignorance and being stuck.

He believes that communication solves everything for people we all project.

Peoples ignorance lets their own minds make up stories that arent true, which
results in pain and bad relationships between people.

What pulls him out of sadness is partying down. Contact with people and new
ideas. Live band karaoke.

What fascinates him?

Things on the verge of becoming big. The future, especially the future of science
and technology. The past discovering things you hadnt thought of before.
Mythology.

To really know yourself, look at a baby picture and see whats on your face
before any outside influences came into your mind so you can see who you were
really meant to be.

Favorite Color?

Blue.

Favorite word?

Serendipity.

Favorite food?

Pizza.

Favorite sport/activity?
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Skiing and Rugby.

Favorite books?

Anything by Malcolm Gladwell.

Favorite movie?

He sees something valuable in every movie.

Old School

Gladiator

Wanted

Serendipity

The Count of Monte Cristo.

Sean recently read an article that romantic comedies like Serendipity do more
harm than good because it sets up perfectionist expectations. Dr. Paul looks at
books and movies to reflect principles of science, not as something that would
happen that way, but you can extract the feeling.

People only live happily ever after when they continue to grow and mature
together.

Favorite travel destination?

The top of mountains in Colorado; Times Square, NY; London.

What excites him?

Anything involving a large group of people succeeding because they are working
together. He likes speaking to a large audience with a back and forth dialogue
until they all have an aha moment intellectual teamwork.

How does he recharge?

With physical fitness. Watching movies and reading books they are part of his
work and also leisure. Being around people without his analysts hat on.

How does he know hes done a good job?

When a client doesnt contact him again.

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Once a person knows how he operates, he doesn't need to see Dr. Paul or Sean
again because they dont need help figuring themselves out.

If he could ask the Creator one question, what would it be?

What really goes on after we die?

What is the one thing he must do before he dies?

Have children.

DR. PAULS H.E.R.B.:

H Habits:

Whenever he does something, he asks himself, Is this good for me? Am I

treating myself well to be doing this?

He asks himself this in all areas of life: health, wealth, relationships.

Hes gotten more into physical fitness and a good diet just lost 25 pounds.

He answers every email he gets.

Friendship is underrated. Dr. Paul wrote his second book about friendship.
Friendship is what makes The Secret real it is consistent mutual shared
positive emotion. Love is raising someone elses self esteem. Friendship is what
explains The Secret scientifically.

He believes that symbols and stories are the best way to learn they economize
learning. If it doesnt start with a story or inspiration, then its hard to get into it.
He didnt like the rigid learning style of medical school.

He reads the newspaper every day to stay on top of current events.

E Environment:

In the past, he had a lack of balance in his life because he was in the hospital all
the time, only interacting with sick people. He started out as a surgeon and
realized he would rather be a psychiatrist he was interested in the person.

He loves moving and changing his living environment.

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He prefers open-minded, free thinking people. He always wants to be meeting

new people with new ideas. He went from hanging out with other academic
people in medical school to hanging out with mostly artists and musicians.

R Resources:

People are his resources.

He read all the self-help books out there and culminated the knowledge in his
Mind OS program.

Now he reads books rapidly and efficiently to find the one new nugget because
most of it builds on what he has previously read.

Rather than recommend a book, Dr. Paul would give a man his journal.

Stories are inexhaustible you can see redoes of Shakespeare and get
something new each time. Thats why he likes stories and meeting people.

B Beliefs:

He believes its important not to be a perfectionist.

You can do anything you want in life,

although you may have to make
sacrifices to do it.

By the time death reaches you, it would

be a nice thing to have reached
fulfillment that you have freedom,
wealth in all areas of life, and you have
reached a state of maturity that your life
goes smoothly.

As a young person, its tough to

imagine that one day you can be ready
to die and at peace with it.

Paul wouldnt want to know the day of

his death.

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Scientifically, sex is still a mystery in a lot of ways. Its an instinct and reflex;
reflexes are evolutionary and rarely make logical sense. Sex can be full of both
incredible pleasure and incredible pain.

If all you have with a woman is sex than the relationship is fragile and fleeting.
Love is more durable than just sexual excitement. Dr. Paul has met a lot of guys
who are mac-daddy players who are in a lot of pain in life. Dont place so much
value on being the guy who can get the most sex.

He believes his body is awesome; he likes being in it. Hes come to appreciate
that this body needs literally care and feeding proper treatment.

Money is a side effect of character. Its a metaphor for power between people.

The genders fight over money. Men gripe about having to pay for dates.

Money will show up in your life in relationship to the maturity of your character.

Attraction is much simpler than you think but very precise factors come into
place. Mysteriousness you want to arouse questions in a womans mind about
you that only you can answer.

Women want to marry a man like their dad; when shes little, there is a
mysterious nature about him and she is curious as a child curious about the
mystery of the man.

Women have the need for safety, which means to label a guy, like player or
nerd. If she can label you then she wont be interested. You want to be a guy
thats tough to label so that women will be curious about you.

Women are mens equals and at the same time, they are different. Women are
the receptive principle and we need them to complete ourselves and they need
us. Even the most powerful woman still needs a man.

Fear is a teacher. We end up learning to compare all fears to the fear of death.
Back when society was more ritualized and there were rituals of boys becoming
men, men were hazed to face the fear of death. We dont have that anymore so
we have to face that fear to build our own kind of character maturity. This gives
your life meaning.

Inner Game Techniques:

A man needs to be sexually attracted to his woman because that will be the core
of the relationship.
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Red flags: anything that indicates a potential failure of sexual, emotional, or

intellectual attraction.

You will know in your gut if you are sexually attracted to a woman. If you dont
feel it, it will be a problem in the relationship. You have to feel deep down that
she is hot.

You might as well realize that you will get good at attracting women, so start
thinking about whether or not she attracts you.

Emotionally, do you feel happy in her presence, or do you feel stressed? Do you
feel happier with her than if you were alone?

If you feel stressed around her, then she might be the kind of woman who
(unconsciously) will strip away your masculinity and your career mission.

Are the intertwined stories of your lives together better than the stories of your
individual lives?

Boundaries are key in determining this. Does she use the word should a lot?
Then she has expectations that the world works in a different way than it does
and she has immature boundaries and doesnt have the ability to truly commit to
you.

Fathers teach us how to use our bodies through sports and physical activity.
Mothers teach us how to name emotions. Fathers show us the body language of
how to attract a woman by watching him, you can pick up on his masculine
body language.

If you didnt have that growing up, then you

need to start from scratch and learn these
things. Have hope that you can do this
without needing years of experience
because you already have enough life
experience.

Feminine energy is about cooperation and

masculine energy is about competition.
There are two kinds of competition one is
destructive, like a bar fight. Another is
gentlemanly, like sports, sparring in a dojo,
where they shake hands or bow at the end.
A mature masculine competition helps the
man grow and learn new things.
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In that, find the coach find a masculine role model. You might not have to
physically meet them. Just find your masculine heroes. These are your substitute
fathers.

Make space for your growth. Make time for your growth.

You have to be willing to make friends. Be willing to meet other guys who are
also willing and want to grow. Be around them and notice their nature. Imitate
them at first, and then make it your own.

Have courage to take action in your personal growth do the right thing even if it
feels terrifying (and you can always figure out what the right thing to do is).

The moment of courage is the loneliest moment of a mans life because he has
to stand up for what is right even when no one else will.

The guy that has decided that there is no answer to his pain is not treating
himself well. You have a choice; even when life is terrible, you still have choices.
Choose: Which is more important, me or my problems?

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