Amazon

Spirit Vine
“Ayahuasca”

By Steven Donnini

Amazon Spirit Vine Ayahuasca (aya-soul/dead, wasca-

vine/rope). Ayahuasca is used widely used throughout the
Amazon for healing and spiritual exploration. Ayahuasca is
a medicinal tea prepared principally from Banisteriopsis
Caapi, a jungle vine, found in the tropical regions of
South America. Banisteriopsis Caapi is often combined with
other plants, most commonly Chacruna/Rainha (Queen);
Psychotria Viridis.

Copyright 2009
Steven Donnini
I was invited to an Ayahuasca ceremony to be conducted by

Shaman Augustine Riva. Ayahuasca is a tropical vine that

grows on trees along the Amazon River in Peru. It is used

in a 20,000-year-old Peruvian purging ceremony. The male

and female plants are crushed into pulp; tobacco is added

and fermented into a drink. Sweet and bitter, it is

unlawful in the USA. Shaman " Papa " Augustine Riva is

from Peru became my ceremonial guide along the way to the

center of my soul. I thought I had left all this kind of

thing back in the West African village of Man.

My sweetheart Lana arranged for me to attend a healing

ceremony. She knew how sick I was and I needed "Healing".

At the time I didn't understand what she meant. I was so

sick that day; I didn't care what it was all about. The

"Disease" I was feeling was on the inside, an organ

malfunctioning, not a bug. We drove to a Hindu temple in

Denton, TX. where the ceremony was to take place. The 20'

by 40' room where all the ceremonies are done is cluttered

with paintings, primitive art, large photos of Yogis and

Indian artifacts. Along the walls, plywood backboards

angle up from the floor, with cushions to sit on. So, you

can sit on the floor, lean backward and rest during the

long ceremonies.

"Papa Augustine " had created an alter at one end of

the room, covered with dark fabric and array of pipes,

flutes, dishes of tobacco, musical harps, and most

importantly a punch bowl of freshly fermented Ayahuasca

punch. I was hiding from Papa behind other people that

were sitting in the middle of the room.

I was so sick I couldn't sit up. I was flat on my back

in a cold sweat, when I was chosen for healing. I didn't

want to have any part of this, but I was too

ill to say no. I didn't care what happened. He looked at me

and spoke thou

an interrupter. "You have a problem of the heart." I was

not surprised. I have had a heart mummer from the age of 4.

I was surprised he knew without touching me. He asked me to

kneel before him, but I couldn’t, I was too weak.

He took one of his pipes and lit the tobacco. With his

fingers moving slowly across my head he found a place on

the top where the skull bone is knitted. The smoke from his

pipe must go down though the top of my head and straight

down the spine. He puffed until he had enough, put his lips

to the top of my head and blew down. Everyone marveled that

all of the smoke went in my head and none came out of his

mouth when he pulled away. I didn't feel any different. He

laid me down on my back and did a kind of CPR, touching me

over the heart area. I lost track of time as he spoke and

prayed over me. I opened my shirt and he blew smoke across

my chest. Then without warning he pressed his lips over the

heart and sucked again and again until he was satisfied

that he had gotten something out. Then he asked me to kneel

and he sucked on each temple. I felt this must be the

dumbest thing I've ever let anyone do to me. I have always

hated anyone touching me. I lay down again for about twenty

minutes.

About 12:00 pm we got up to go home, Papa told me to

loose weight because there was fat around my heart. He gave

me a diet of rice water for the first few days. I wasn't to

eat anything but the rice that was boiled to make the rice

water. The thought of going home to my big soft bed was top

of mind, but I was too week to drive. As we walked out the

door passed Papa I agreed to come to the Ayahuasca

ceremony, not knowing what it was about.

The guy that had invited us had little to offer. He

said the ceremony was a kind of a truth serum, soul-

searching and purging process and therefore everyone had a

different experience. As we drove home I was intrigued by

the events of the evening, but disappointed that I didn't

feel better, "Healed" as they say.

Friday night we arrived at 6:30 PM for a meeting with

Papa to state our "intent". This was a group thing where we

all stated what problems we hoped to solve in our lives.

There was a thin 50-year-old man sitting on the floor next

to me. He was clearly one of them, earrings, and attitude.

One after the other each person spoke. As it got closer to

my turn, I was forced to come up with something that would

make sense, but wouldn't be too reviling about my state of

mind. I didn't want anyone to know I hadn't thought about

what I wanted. But, the broken heart subject kept popping

up. Finally, the guy next to me had to speak. He started

with the usual neurotic Mom didn't love me stuff and as he

talked about how his mother treated him his tone changed to

anger. At the very end in a small boy voice he said, "I

want to find forgiveness for raping my mother." Suddenly I

was too close to this guy for comfort, plus it was my turn

to speak. Speak? I was speechless.

My throat was coated in mucus to such a degree; I had

to clear it to get the words out. I said, "I have had a lot

of pain in my life and I want to save the child in me. I

want to heal my broken heart." Papa said, "There's a time

for everything." lighting one of his big pipes he moved on

to the next person. I was relieved. He spoke of how he

would call in the spirits to help us with our problems. One

of the pipes was tall in the shape of a human but with

large pointed ears.

This is what the creature from space look like, he

said as he walked around the room blowing smoke at

everyone. I thought, I wonder if I'm the only one hear that

doesn't believe him. He's a wonderful, nutty old guy, he

can't be serious. Aliens from outer space? Please. I was to

shy to get up and leave, so I just sat there with my head

in hands, rolling my eyes as he went on about how things

worked in the spirit world, black magic and other similar

things.

Papa told me on the way out that he would make me a

healer. He explained that all artist, writers, and

musicians are healers, because through their art they heal

the feelings we have while we enjoy the art. I wanted to go

home and sleep. Once again, we drove home at midnight. I

was depressed that I was getting so little out of all this

and everyone else was so excited about the coming up

ceremony the next night. I was so distracted by the other

problems in my life it didn't seem to matter. I was in so

much emotional pain; it was always the background of my

thinking grinding away.

I had begged God to take me out of this hell I was in.

Two years ago my wife of 9 years had recruited her mother

and father to help her move to Florida with my two young

daughters, leaving me behind with the family dog and

whatever didn't fit in the moving truck. For six months I

didn't know where they were living. No phone number. No

address. Then when everyone else felt comfortable that I

wasn't going to call the FBI for kidnapping the kids, I was

told where they were living.

I went to see them in Clearwater to see them. In a

small Italian family owned motel, we were reunited. We

celebrated the birthdays we had missed together. I

decorated the room with balloons and streamers, got 2

birthday cakes, and whatever they wanted. We went shopping

for toys. They were happy, but I was in hell knowing I was

going to leave them to return home, not knowing when I

would see them again. I felt, I had been condemned to a

life of abandonment.

The next day was Saturday Sept.9. I tried to sleep in

because of the all night ceremony coming up, but without

success. At this point the rice water diet was working very

well and I was feeling better. I packed up the stuff I was

told to bring with me. A sleeping bag, a plastic bowl,

towels, a small flashlight and white clothing. No food. And

I wasn't to drink anything after five. I felt like I was

going in to the hospital for surgery. Why I needed a

plastic bowl was a mystery. Given that so may other things

had been strange, it didn't seem that out of place.

We drove to Denton and arrived about 6:30 PM. everyone

was already there milling around, all excited. Boys on the

right and girls on the left. I sat down next to my friend

Roberto and asked what was going on. He told me that the

Ayahuasca punch was ready and the ceremony was about to

begin. I asked how many times he had done this. He's answer

was interrupted.

Then all the confusion was broken as Ra the owner of

the temple walked around the room giving us instruction on

what was going to happen and how we should conduct

ourselves. Talking during the ceremony was not allowed. We

were not to comfort each other or try to walk around and no

one was allowed to leave the ceremony for any reason. The

ceremony would begin now and it would continue for 12 hours

till 6:00 am the next morning. To get the most out of the

experience one must stay awake.

The little cups of Ayahuasca were handed to each of

us. I couldn't help but think of the Jonestown cocktail and

in a very important way, I was about to die. We all prayed

to God for this drink and for success in our journey. I

asked for my cup to be completely filled, down the hatch.

It tastes like bittersweet rhubarb juice only twice as

strong.

We were all given a rose, with which we had to attach

a piece of paper with my intent for the ceremony tied to

the stem. We got in line at the alter two by two and

prayed, silently stating our intent. Then we turned and

placed it in a vase on the other side of the room. I was

asked to bring an object to the ceremony to place on the

altar. I had looked around the house and decided to bring a

bronze sculpture of an African hunter I had gotten from the

village of Man in West Africa.

We all sat down to wait for the Awahuasca to do its

work. We were asked to choose a partner. Roberto and I

agreed to be partners. He told me more about the effects of

the Ayahuasca. I would feel high and then nausea would come

over me in about 30 min. He told me to try to keep it down

as long as possible and to drink down whatever I thro up.

That is something that I knew I would never do. So, I held

it in as long as I could, listening for the first person to

hurl.

When I heard the first person cough it up I couldn't

hold it any longer. From that moment the vomiting continued

all night from different people. I felt blessed that I had

only vomited a small amount once, until I realized that I

was missing the point of the ceremony. Purging is the

point. The more you purge the better. I just couldn't do it

again.
 The music was so seductive it distracted me from all

the horrible sounds in the room. A warm feeling started in

my stomach, followed closely by a clear headed high, no

blurring or slurring. My thoughts turned to things that had

troubled me for a long time. It started with how I felt as

a young boy; I could see myself at the different times in

my life. Most of my thoughts were about things I didn't

want to feel. The death of my Dad. Then the loss of my

children by divorce. My mind drifted to every emotional

trauma in my life, the longest nightmare.

Something else was happening on an even deeper, a

primitive level. The time passed more quickly as I watched

"Papa" dance and sing his remarkable music. His ability to

maintain his energy level at 65+ years of age was

impressive. All night long he had done the same things,

resting for 5 minutes every hour. I was thinking about the

ocean and all the creatures, out of the darkness came an 8'

tiger shark, it swam past me. Long, powerful and primitive.

It was I or I had become it.

I remembered that Papa had talked about the Ayahuasca

vine; it had not grown naturally in the Amazon jungle. It

had been brought there more than 20,000 years ago, from

West Africa. The plant doesn't grow deep in the forest,

only around the village on the Amazon River. Therefore, it

had to been brought there by other beings. Beings from West

Africa? Once again he talked about the beings from another

worlds that had come here to seed our earth with life. Not

a new idea, but coming from him it sounded possible.

A 6:00 PM in the morning I was eager to leave and very

disappointed that the events of the night had so little

effect on me. We drove home in the early morning light. The

sunrise was the most beautiful I've ever seen. Streaks of

light came down from broken clouds forming a kingdom of

heaven book illustration in the sky.

We arrived home and cleaned up. I went to bed for a

long sleep. Waking from a deep sleep I was rested, but the

sleep was a short one, only a couple of hours. The day was

going to be the usual routine for a Sunday cleaning and

reading, maybe a little browsing on the Internet. After a

few minutes I sat in my easy chair and turned on the cable

TV to see what movies were on.

All the films were about sex and hero's killing bad

guys. There's disposable humanity in almost every Hollywood

film today and I was saddened. The sadness turned to tears

as I began to think about all the tragic events of my life

that had not been purged from me the night before. God take

me now or give me a purpose for being. My broken heart was

sure to be my way out. I continued to cry more deeply than

I had ever done. Then even deeper sorrow and expression of

all the pain of my life one by one just like the night in

the temple with Papa. It all came out, even the stuff that

I didn't recollect.

For the first time I felt the emotions of my first

encounter with a girl. She was our 18-year-old sitter. It

was 1951 and the family had just moved to a small house in

Miami from New England. I was 7 years old. She touched me

and I liked it, but I had no emotions about it until now.

In my memory of the event, I was much older than I really

was and I dismissed it as a young manly experience. Now, I

see how it has damaged every relationship I've had with

woman. I didn't want to get close. I didn't want to be

touched and I didn't trust anyone. Repeatedly, I would

attract women that had been sexually abused. They saw in

me, the pain in them.

At 2:30 AM my sweetheart Lana walked in the front door

and thought someone in the family had died. She was right;

it was the pain in me. All the heart breaking pain was

gone, vanished. I went into the backyard to get fresh air.

I heard the sounds of something flying by me. Like arrows

cutting the air around me.

The spirits were flying just like Papa said they

would. He had called them in to heal me and there they

were. They appeared as thin strips of warm light cutting

through the scenery around me. The spirits were cutting

into this world from theirs as slits of a lighter landscape

beyond the one I was in. At the time it seemed impossible,

yet real.

The rest of Sunday I was happy at the new person in my

flesh. I was calm, happy, clear headed, and content. That

night I slept quietly. In the morning my waking was

complete with images of beings and visualization of

spirits. The beings were clearly not human. They were in

two groups. The first, were a kind of plastic material,

very tall, geometric and shinny. The next, were round faced

with strong Aztec features.

Then I saw what I think were spirits traveling through

space. They are balls of soft white light that leave a

short trail that dissipates behind them. I walked outside

to greet the sunrise and decided I must see it lakeside

near my home. I walked down the dock and sat facing the

rising sun. The light was golden, the air clear and crisp.

The sunlight peaked through the clouds, bounced of the

water and through my chest. At that instant I knew why I am

here. The very thing that has always eluded me. I sat

enjoying my newfound purpose. The words started coming. I

hurried home to get it all down. “My body is quick and

powerful like the hunter in the forest. The creatures that

I hunt are for the nourishment of my people and I am

grateful. Everyone around me is rich in spirit and worldly

things, so therefore I am. The people I love are joyous

with what the hunt has brought them. I am content.”

I have become the African Hunter sculpture I brought back

with me from the trip to the Ivory Coast. I know it is

linked to my vision. After all, it was the only thing I

brought back from that trip that I have had real feelings

for.
Deep in an African jungle I visited a village called

Man. I know now it is the birthplace of us all.