Developing Your Social Skills, p.

JerianHardy
UWRT1102029
October22,2014

DevelopingYourSocialSkills

Introduction:
The place to be on campus at UNCC is the student union. Why? youmightask.There
aresomanyactivitiesandsomanypeopleinteracting.Thisisagreatvenuefordevelopingsocial
skills. By definition the worditselfmeanspossessingtheabilitytodosomethingwell betweenor
among. In developing social skillsonecommunicatesinnot onlyverbal,butnonverbalways.A
persons body language, gestures, and personalappearancespeaksvolumes. Thestudentunion
on campus is a great centralized place to develop the capability to communicate and interact
with each other no matter what race or gender. Student will ultimately learn by improving on
their social skills, they will learn other students likes and dislikes, and commonalities, andthey
will soon learn how to curve their ego. This interaction will make for better communication
between them. They, themselves, will experience an overall increase in happiness, a sense of
community, and more likely to get involved. While the development of social skills are

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

fundamental, they can be applied in every of college life and beyond whether it be interaction
withprofessors,staffmembers,parents,otherstudents,employers,andcoworkers.

Students learn the skill of social networking as they intermingle with others. There are so

many resources, and yet not one student knows all of them. As students progress in
communication and interaction with more and more students, and getting involved in campus
organizations will assist in gaining knowledge of and informationabouthelpfulresourcesonand
off campus. They learn to share information theyve gained whether it be fromaninstructor,or
another student. This information could help with an assignment, or project. Information that is
shared through networking could help astudentgainemploymentwhileattendingcollegeorfind
a specific place of business theyhavebeensearchingfor.Some mayevenlearninformationthat
willadvancetheircareerprospects.

Being a student here, I have sharpened my social skills asIcultivatenewrelationshipswith

new roommates and new classmates. Soon I will be a memberofthefortyninerfootballteam.

This meansIwilladvanceevenfurtherinmysocialskills.Thecoachesandcoachingstaffhavea
very detailed and strict way of doing things. To be able to succeed asamemberof theteam,I
will have to adhere to their rules. There are close to 90 players on the team. I will have the
opportunity to communicate with most of them,sohavingthe propersocialskillswillenableme
tointeractwiththem.

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

LiteratureReview:
All the sources that I have researched seem to discuss how important it is to develop
positive social skills. Interpersonalthe interaction between one or more people was the social
skill elaborated on the most. Being able to communicate will help you to develop a sense of
community. People will discover that they have more in common then they think. As students
interact withone another, theyrealizewhatbehaviorisacceptedandwhatisnot.Interactionwill
also give students the courage tobegintospeakoutandcontributetheiropinion.Theydiscover
thattheyhaveleadershipskillsaswell.
Interaction will help students curve their own ego and become more sensitive to others
feelings in their community. Students develop in other skills such as networking, small talk,
charm. These skills could help them advance in their careerandastheytransitionintothework
world. Social optimism is relevanttothesuccessofastudent,whereassocialavoidancewillbe
a detriment to the progression and maturity of a student to adulthood. Students experience
persongrowthastheyprogressthroughtheircollegeyearsingoodsocialskills.
EnteringtheConversation:
Whether living on or off campus Freshman Collegestudentsareexcitedaboutthejourney
they will be embarking on for the next four years. For upper classmen, they rekindle
relationships from the previous years,alongwithdevelopingnewrelationships.Oneoftheareas

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

on campus freshman soon become familiar with,andupperclassmenalreadyknowaboutis the

Student Union. In the Student Union is located various valuable resources, such as the
bookstore, eating venues, the computer store, the theatre, the help desk. It is a centralized
location most of the time in the middle of the college campus. As a new year begins, and as
classes start the student union becomes the meeting place for all sortsofreasonsandactivities.
Here is where the community is built upon. Students may not be aware thathereiswheretheir
social skills are sharpened, and personal growth happens of which they will carry withthemall
throughtheirlifeateverystageandpageofit.
One of themostimportantsocialskillsiscultivatinginterpersonalrelationships.Asstudents
become associated with other students in class, and working on assignments in groups
communication begins. They meet at the meeting placethe student union. As they began to
connect they establish commonalities between them. They learn each other likes and dislikes.
They learn personal things about one another. Students learn what behavior is accepted, and
what behavior will not be accepted.Therewillbedifferinglevelsofsharing andintimacyasthey
interact with more and more students. Students learn that a main tool in interacting is just
listening to others. You gain valuable information about others and what they may be
experiencing or situations they may have gone through. By saying nothing and executingtheart
of listening you learn how you may be able to help others. As students develop a sense of

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

community, they will soon learn to curve their own ego. Conversations will no longer be just
about them. What they have or what theyve done. Theywillbecomemorecognizantofothers
and their thoughts and feelings. They will respect others opinions on issues, and also they will
begin to take in consideration what other people think about them. Walls and images theyve
built up about themselvesbegintocrumbleand theybecomethebetterforit.Themoretheyare
around positive people the more they should become positive and draw from others strength.
Constant interaction with others brings out a sense of finding their voice among many others,
and standing firm on what they believe, all the while coming to realize that they can be
persuadedtochangetheiropiniononissues.Allthewhilestillbuildingonthesocialskillsforlife.
Not only will students establish and build on relationships with other students regarding
class assignments, and the like, they will create relationships with professors, and instructors,
and the university staff members. Students develop in a level of respect for adults as they
transition into becoming adults. In these relationships as becoming adults they will progress in
being moreresponsibleandindependentwhilebeingstudents.Manytimestheywillhavetotake
the initiative if grades are not up to par, of if they do not understand anassignmenttomakean
appointment with the instructor to see how they can clear up any issues. These actions will
strengthen the social skills of being interpersonal interacting, and communicating. Students will
discover that this is a whole new ball game. There will be no one to depend on to correct

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

problems, and situations like there was when they were living at home. You are constantly
buildingonthesocialskillsforlife.
Students could possibly become affiliated with campus organizations, like book clubs,
sororities or fraternities, or organizations that are geared toward helping others. At this point
students begin to venture outside of the campuscommunityintothelocalcommunity,whichwill
help them further develop at defining themselves. They will discover they have leadership
abilities and begin carving out their own path in life. As they progress the social skill of
networkingtakesshape.In networkingstudentsgainknowledgethatcouldultimatelyassistthem
in theircareerpath,andtheworkworld.Studentsbecomemorecomfortablewithappropriating
the right social skills at the right time. They gain more and more confidence, and are able to
apply themselves. All the while you are still hammeringawayatbuildingonyoursocialskillsfor
life.
Upon graduation students now become employers or employees, or independent
contractors, and businessowners.Nowtheyareadultsandhaveallofthisknowledgeandskills
to take with them as they enter the work world. Most of them will remember the social skills
they have matured in and allowtheselessonstohelpthemmoveforwardinlife.Interacting,and
communicating, and networking with other adults will be easier. Asyouadvanceyourcareerin
the work world, you will affect other adults. Just as in college there willbealotofopinionated

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

people in the work world, only now they may or may not have degrees, but they will always
have an opinion about something. Most of them will tell you that they have been in this work
world a lot longer than you, so there are not many things you can tell them. Oh, have I
mentioned that charm is a great social skill to throw in at this point. There will be many issues
and challenges that will ariseasthestudentsturnedadultswillhavetofaceeveryday,butifthey
draw from all of theirsocialskillsdevelopedincollegeandlifeexperiencesuptothispoint,they
will overcome anything. Many times, how you perceivedyourcollegeyearswhether positiveor
negative is how you perceive life andtheworkworld. Apositiveattitudewillhelpyousucceed
andhavelongevityintheworkworld,whileyoubuildonthesocialskillsneededinlife.
Life at this point becomes another new adventure, and the social skills you have
progressed and matured in are a part of the person you have become. By now you may have
considered dating and marriage. After marrying, two people are now cohabiting, but now its
notyourfemaleormaleroommate,itsyourwifeorhusband.Youhavetoputthosesocialskills
to the test once again by being really interpersonal, communicating, curving your ego,
networking etc. The ability and skill toquicklyproblemsolveandresolveallissuesareessential
to maintaining a happy and healthy marriage. Many times in a marriage one or the other may
have to be the one to say I was wrong. You willbegintorealizehowmuchsmootherlife has
goneforyouasyouhavebuiltonandperfectedinwhatyouknowassocialskills.

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

But wait! Yourenotfinishedyet.TheultimatetestwillbebecomingaFatherorMother,a

parent, grandparent. This is the when all of the social skills youvelearnedwillbepassedonto
your children and grandchildren. Children from birth are veryimpressionable.Theywatchwhat
you do and say, and mimic everything they see and hear. They learn good or bad social skills
from their parents. As the parent drawing from every good social skill you have acquired, and
by now your arsenal is full of great skills is what should be taught to your children. Every skill
you have will beusedbythistime.Without realizing itchildrenwilltestyoursocialskillsandpull
you out of your comfort zone. From crying, to getting upset, to asking questions you may not
have the answer for right then, and everything inbetween,butyoushouldbeready foranything
even to say I dont have the answer, but well find it. Parenting skills are just drawing from
goodsocialskills.
Social skills are what we cultivate from beginning of life to the end. How we develop in
them is up to each individual.We neverstoplearning.Wesharpensomeskillsmorethanothers
for example interaction more than charm, or communicating more than actual involvement. But
at the end of it all, ourbookoflifeisfulloflessonslearnedandtoolssharpened.Lookingback,
social skills are at the center of all we become inlife.Ithasbeenshownthatnomatterthepath
in life you choose, your choice to or not to develop in these great skills will determine howfar
yousucceedordontsucceedineveryareaofyourownpersonallife.

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

This paper started with a lesson in observing people in a given setting (Figured world),
and then choosing an issue within that setting. Students, from their freshman year through the
senior year develop socially day by day, year by year. Cultivating their skills, from the most
important ones, like being interpersonal, to being able to communicate, having respect, being
able to listen, or knowing when to speak up and speak out. They also have the capability of
using some skills like charm that may not be applicable every day, but they mature in them all.
The issue being social skills is a very broad but interesting topic. As you can see the
development and maturity in social skills have been incorporated throughout your entire life.
Social skills play a significant role in the whole person you become. Who you become will
determine what kind of a husband and father or mother you will be and what skills you teach
your children. The skills taught tothemwilldeterminewhatkindofpeopletheybecome,andso
on throughout your family history. You need to care about what you consider as good verses
bad socialskills.Ifyoudevelop inbadsocialskillsthenthatisthethreadyouwillweavethrough
your family. Think about searching inside yourself and researching for whatever assistance you
may need tojumpstartarightpath todevelopinggoodversesbadsocialskillswhileyouareina
community atmosphere like college. There are a lot of research avenuestohelpyoudevelopin
any good social skills you may be lackingin.Goodskillswillcarry you alongwayinlife.Now,
on the other hand bad skills are a whole new avenue. Cutting class, plagiarizing, drinking,
smoking, being belligerent, and the like are a few of the bad skillsyoudonotwanttodevelop.

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

Fellow students will not want to be around you, especially if this is the course they choose to
avoid at all cost, even if it means cutting off the relationship with a friend. Instructors will not
tolerate such behavior. You would be wasting your time and not to mention thousands of
dollars. As mentioned previously the skills you cultivate as you progress in life from college to
the work world and moving up in your career, are the ones you will carry into a marriage and
pass on to your children and grandchildren. Also as mentioned previously yourchildrenmimic
the behavior they see their parents portray. Are bad social skills really what you wantto teach
your children? Whether you realize it or not by your actions and behavior, without saying a
word is what your children will imitate. Teachers will label your children as troublemakers,
unresponsive, uncooperative, no positive interaction, not developed in communications skills
etc.yougetwhereImgoingwiththis.Theywillnotethemashavingbehavioralissues,andslow
or no development in goodsocialskills.Wheredidthisissuebegan,mostlikelyyou,theparent.
So it is best not just for you, but your future as well to develop in what areknowntobegood
socialskills,soyouwillbeabletopassontoyourchildrenskillstohelpdevelopabetterperson
whowillultimatelyhavebetterqualityoflife.
Conclusion:
This paper started with a lessoninobservingpeopleinagivensetting(Figuredoutworld),
and then choosing an issue within that setting. Students, from their freshman year through the

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

senior year develop socially day by day, year by year. Cultivating their skills, from the most
important ones, like being interpersonal, to being able to communicate, having respect, being
able to listen, or knowing when to speak up and speak out. They also have the capability of
using some skills like charm that may not be applicable every day, but they mature in them all.
The issue being social skills is a very broad but interesting topic. As you can see the
development and maturity in social skills have been incorporated throughout your entire life.
Social skills play a significant role in the whole person you become. Who you become will
determine what kind of a husband and father or mother you will be and what skills you teach
your children. The skills taught tothemwilldeterminewhatkindofpeopletheybecome,andso
on throughout your family history. You need to care about what you consider as good verses
bad socialskills.Ifyoudevelop inbadsocialskillsthenthatisthethreadyouwillweavethrough
your family. Think about searching inside yourself and researching for whatever assistance you
may need tojumpstartarightpath todevelopinggoodversesbadsocialskillswhileyouareina
community atmosphere like college. There are a lot of research avenuestohelpyoudevelopin
any good social skills you may be lackingin.Goodskillswillcarry you alongwayinlife.Now,
on the other hand bad skills are a whole new avenue. Cutting class, plagiarizing, drinking,
smoking, being belligerent, and the like are a few of the bad skillsyoudonotwanttodevelop.
Fellow students will not want to be around you, especially if this is the course they choose to
avoid at all cost, even if it means cutting off the relationship with a friend. Instructors will not

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

tolerate such behavior. You would be wasting your time and not to mention thousands of
dollars. As mentioned previously the skills you cultivate as you progress in life from college to
the work world and moving up in your career, are the ones you will carry into a marriage and
pass on to your children and grandchildren. Also as mentioned previously yourchildrenmimic
the behavior they see their parents portray. Are bad social skills really what you wantto teach
your children? Whether you realize it or not by your actions and behavior, without saying a
word is what your children will imitate. Teachers will label your children as troublemakers,
unresponsive, uncooperative, no positive interaction, not developed in communications skills
etc. you get where Im going with this. They will note them as having behavioral issues, and
slow, or no development in good social skills. Where did this issue began, most likelyyou,the
parent. It is best not just for you, but your future as well to develop in what are known to be
good social skills, so you will be able to pass ontoyourchildrenskillstohelpdevelopabetter
personwhowillultimatelyhavebetterqualityoflife.

Developing Your Social Skills, p.