Developing Your Social Skills, p.

Jerian Hardy
UWRT 1102-029
November 1, 2014

Developing Your Social Skills

Introduction:
The place to be on campus at UNCC is the student union. Why? you might ask.
There are so many activities and so many people interacting. This is a great venue for
developing social skills. Social means possessing the ability to do something well
between or among. In developing social skills one communicates in not only verbal, but
non-verbal ways. A persons body language, gestures, and personal appearance speaks
volumes. The student union on campus is a great centralized place to develop the
capability to communicate and interact with each other no matter what race or gender.
Student will ultimately learn by improving on their social skills, they will learn other
students likes and dislikes, and commonalities, and they will soon learn how to curve
their ego. This interaction will make for better communication between them. They,
themselves, will experience an overall increase in happiness, a sense of community, and
more likely to get involved. While the development of social skills are fundamental, they
can be applied in every of college life and beyond whether it be interaction with
professors, staff members, parents, other students, employers, and co-workers.
Students learn the skill of social networking as they intermingle with others. There are
so many resources, and yet not one student knows all of them. As students progress in
communication and interaction with more and more students, and getting involved in

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

campus organizations will assist in gaining knowledge of and information about helpful
resources on and off campus. They learn to share information they have gained whether it
be from an instructor, or another student. This information could help with an assignment,
or project. Information that is shared through networking could help a student gain
employment while attending college or find a specific place of business they have been
searching for. Some may even learn information that will advance their career prospects.
Being a student here, I have sharpened my social skills as I cultivate new relationships
with new roommates and new classmates. Soon I will be a member of the forty-niner
football team. This means I will advance even further in my social skills. The coaches
and coaching staff have a very detailed and strict way of doing things. To be able to
succeed as a member of the team, I will have to adhere to their rules. There are close to
90 players on the team. I will have the opportunity to communicate with most of them, so
having the proper social skills will enable me to interact with them.
Literature Review:
All the sources that I have researched seem to discuss how important it is to develop
positive social skills. Interpersonal-the interaction between one or more people was the
social skill elaborated on the most. Being able to communicate will help you to develop a
sense of community. People will discover that they have more in common then they
think. As students interact with one another, they realize what behavior is accepted and
what is not. Interaction will also give students the courage to begin to speak out and
contribute their opinion. (Collegetopia, 2014). They discover that they have leadership
skills as well.

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

Interaction will help students curve their own ego and become more sensitive to
others feelings in their community. Students develop in other skills such as networking,
small talk, charm. These skills could help them advance in their career and as they
transition into the work world. Social optimism is relevant to the success of a student,
where as social avoidance will be a detriment to the progression and maturity of a student
to adulthood. Students experience person growth as they progress through their college
years in good social skills.
Entering the Conversation:
Whether living on or off campus Freshman College students are excited about the
journey they will be embarking on for the next four years. For upper classmen, they
rekindle relationships from the previous years, along with developing new relationships.
One of the areas on campus freshman soon become familiar with, and upper classmen
already know about is the Student Union. In the Student Union is located various
valuable resources, such as the bookstore, eating venues, the computer store, the theatre,
the help desk. It is a centralized location most of the time in the middle of the college
campus. As a new year begins, and as classes start the student union becomes the meeting
place for all sorts of reasons and activities. Here is where the community is built upon.
Students may not be aware that here is where their social skills are sharpened, and
personal growth happens of which they will carry with them all through their life at every
stage and page of it.
One of the most important social skills is cultivating interpersonal relationships. As
students become associated with other students in class, and working on assignments in
groups communication begins. They meet at the meeting place-the student union. As they

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

began to connect they establish commonalities between them. They learn each other likes
and dislikes. They learn personal things about one another. Students learn what behavior
is accepted, and what behavior will not be accepted. There will be differing levels of
sharing and intimacy as they interact with more and more students. Students learn that a
main tool in interacting is just listening to others. You gain valuable information about
others and what they may be experiencing or situations they may have gone through. By
saying nothing and executing the art of listening you learn how you may be able to help
others. As students develop a sense of community, they will soon learn to curve their
own ego. Conversations will no longer be just about them. What they have or what
theyve done. They will become more cognizant of others and their thoughts and feelings.
They will respect others opinions on issues, and also they will begin to take in
consideration what other people think about them. Walls and images theyve built up
about themselves begin to crumble and they become the better for it. The more they are
around positive people the more they should become positive and draw from others
strength. Constant interaction with others brings out a sense of finding their voice among
many others, and standing firm on what they believe, all the while coming to realize that
they can be persuaded to change their opinion on issues. All the while still building on the
social skills for life.
Not only will students establish and build on relationships with other students
regarding class assignments, and the like, they will create relationships with professors,
and instructors, and the university staff members. Students develop in a level of respect
for adults as they transition into becoming adults. In these relationships as becoming
adults they will progress in being more responsible and independent while being students.

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

Many times they will have to take the initiative if grades are not up to par, of if they do
not understand an assignment to make an appointment with the instructor to see how they
can clear up any issues. These actions will strengthen the social skills of being
interpersonal; interacting, and communicating. Students will discover that this is a whole
new ball game. There will be no one to depend on to correct problems, and situations like
there was when they were living at home. You are constantly building on the social skills
for life.
Students could possibly become more affiliated with the student union by joining
campus organizations, like book clubs, sororities or fraternities, or organizations that are
geared toward helping others. At this point students begin to venture outside of the
campus community into the local community, which will help them further develop at
defining themselves. They will discover they have leadership abilities and begin carving
out their own path in life. As they progress the social skill of networking takes shape. In
networking students gain knowledge that could ultimately assist them in their career path,
and the work world. Students become more comfortable with appropriating the right
social skills at the right time. They gain more and more confidence, and are able to apply
themselves. All the while you are still hammering away at building on your social skills
for life.
Upon graduation students now become employers or employees, or independent
contractors, and business owners. Now they are adults and have all of this knowledge and
skills to take with them as they enter the work world. Most of them will remember the
social skills they have matured in and allow these lessons to help them move forward in
life. Interacting, and communicating, and networking with other adults will be easier. As

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

you advance your career in the work world, you will affect other adults. Just as in college
there will be a lot of opinionated people in the work world, only now they may or may
not have degrees, but they will always have an opinion about something. Most of them
will tell you that they have been in this work world a lot longer than you, so there are not
many things you can tell them. Oh, have I mentioned that charm is a great social skill to
throw in at this point. There will be many issues and challenges that will arise as the
students turned adults will have to face every day, but if they draw from all of their social
skills developed in college and life experiences up to this point, they will overcome
anything.

Many times, how you perceived your college years whether positive or

negative is how you perceive life and the work world. A positive attitude will help you
succeed and have longevity in the work world, while you build on the social skills needed
in life.
Life at this point becomes another new adventure, and the social skills you have
progressed and matured in are a part of the person you have become. By now you may
have considered dating and marriage. After marrying, two people are now cohabiting, but
now its not your female or male roommate, its your wife or husband. You have to put
those social skills to the test once again by being really interpersonal, communicating,
curving your ego, networking etc. The ability and skill to quickly problem solve and
resolve all issues are essential to maintaining a happy and healthy marriage. Many times
in a marriage one or the other may have to be the one to say I was wrong. You will
begin to realize how much smoother life has gone for you as you have built on and
perfected in what you know as social skills.

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

But wait! Youre not finished yet. The ultimate test will be becoming a Father or
Mother, a parent, grandparent. This is the when all of the social skills youve learned will
be passed on to your children and grandchildren. Children from birth are very
impressionable. They watch what you do and say, and mimic everything they see and
hear. They learn good or bad social skills from their parents. As the parent drawing from
every good social skill you have acquired, and by now your arsenal is full of great skills
is what should be taught to your children. Every skill you have will be used by this time.
Without realizing it children will test your social skills and pull you out of your comfort
zone. From crying, to getting upset, to asking questions you may not have the answer for
right then, and everything in between, but you should be ready for anything even to say I
dont have the answer, but well find it. Parenting skills are just drawing from good
social skills. It is best not just for you, but your future as well to develop in what are
known to be good social skills, so you will be able to pass on to your children skills to
help develop a better person who will ultimately have better quality of life.
Conclusion:
This paper started with a lesson in observing people in a given setting (Figured out
world), and then choosing an issue within that setting. Students, from their freshman year
through the senior year develop socially day by day, year by year. Cultivating their skills,
from the most important ones, like being interpersonal, to being able to communicate,
having respect, being able to listen, or knowing when to speak up and speak out. They
also have the capability of using some skills like charm that may not be applicable every
day, but they mature in them all. The issue being social skills is a very broad but
interesting topic. As you can see the development and maturity in social skills have been

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

incorporated throughout your entire life. Social skills play a significant role in the whole
person you become. Think about searching inside yourself and researching for whatever
assistance you may need to jumpstart a right path to developing good verses bad social
skills while you are in a community atmosphere like college. Who you become will
determine what kind of a husband, wife, father or mother you will be and what skills you
teach your children. The skills taught to them will determine what kind of people they
become and so on throughout your family history. You need to care about what you
consider as good verses bad social skills. If you develop in bad social skills then that is
the thread you will weave through your family. Whether you realize it or not by your
actions and behavior, without saying a word is what your children will imitate. Where did
this issue began, most likely you, the parent. It is best not just for you, but your future as
well to develop in what are known to be good social skills, so you will be able to pass on
to your children skills to help develop a better person who will ultimately have better
quality of life. Are bad social skills really what you want to teach your children?

Developing Your Social Skills, p.

Annotated Bibliography
5 Ways to Improve Your Social Skills and Conquer Your Ego. (n.d.). In
Collegetopia. Retrieved October 4, 2014, from
http://collegetopia.co/how-to-improve-your-social-skills-and-conqueryour-ego/
This cite denotes how important it is to get out of some of your own personal behaviors to
be able to gain meaningful friendships while in college. It is essential that you change the
way you think. One has to think of themselves as a social person. Curving your ego is
important to developing good social skills.
About The Union. (n.d.). Retrieved October 4, 2014, from
http://studentunion.uncc.edu/about-union
The student union and its activities and facilities helps in developing social skills in
leadership. The student union is a community that encourages students to express
themselves and their opinion as they develop relationships.
Hardy, J. Assignment 1. My figured World. September 1, 2014.
The student union was a good place to observe the behavior between students. Student
would soon learn what accepted behavior was and what was not. They would learn how
to appropriate the right social skills.
Marcus, J. (2013, January 3). Colleges step in to fill students socialskills gaps. In The Hechinger Report. Retrieved October 4, 2014, from
http://hechingerreport.org/content/colleges-step-in-to-fill-studentssocial-skills-gaps_10605/
MIT Started a charm school which offered instructions in social skills. They taught things
like how to make small talk, how to deal with conflict, and how to take steps to showing
up on time. They also taught students how to communicate with other. They found that
most students have at least 241 social media friends, but dont know how to
communicate.
Nauert, R. (2011, March 1). Learning Social Skills in College Helps
Predict Work, Career Success. In PsychCentral. Retrieved October 4,
2014, from http://psychcentral.com/news/2011/03/01/learning-socialskills-in-college-helps-predict-work-career-success/23991.html
Social optimism is important to and relevant to work environment after college. The
research project revealed that social avoidance and withdrawal was a sign of potential

Developing Your Social Skills, p. 10

work avoidance, exhaustion, and burn out. A high level of social optimism indicated a 1015 year high work engagement after college studies.
Poulson, M. (2011, September 8). Developing Friendships and Social
Skills On Campus. In Florida Career College (FCC). Retrieved October 6,
2014, from http://www.anthem.edu/articles/developing-friendships-andsocial-skills-on-campus/
The student union is a great place to learn social skills. It is considered a community
center. There they can learn self-directed activities. As students interact, they experience
personal growth.
Salmela-Aro, K. (2011, February 28). Social optimism during studies
supports school-to-work transition. In Academy of Finland. Retrieved
October 4, 2014, from http://www.aka.fi/en-GB/A/Academy-ofFinland/Media-services/Releases1/Social-optimism-during-studiessupports-school-to-work-transition/
Study performed at the University of Helsinki in Finland found that good interpersonal
skills, a sense of community, and involvement carried on from college to work life. This
study showed that more attention should be given to the college community involvement
and social competence. This would be a much better transition in the work world.
Student Union. (n.d.). In Oberlin College. Retrieved October 4, 2014,
from http://new.oberlin.edu/office/student-union/
The student union and its activities and facilities helps in developing social skills in
leadership. The student union is a community that encourages students to express
themselves and their opinion as they develop relationships
What are Social Skills?. (2011-2014). In Skills You Need. Retrieved
October 8, 2014, from http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/socialskills.html
Skills necessary a good social college experience include communication, and interaction
with each other. Learning the verbal and non-verbal body language of people and other
students will help in the development of better relationships. These skills will produce
happiness, and help advance ones career prospects.

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