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The Bliss video shows what it s like to walk down the street alone as a woman: tota
lly exhausting, reliably demeaning, and occasionally, terrifying, Hess noted. The
ceaseless chatter (plus some light stalking!) adds up to a constant reminder tha
t, just for walking from point A to point B, some men believe that women s bodies
and minds should be made accessible to them on command.
Following the release of the video, Roberts started receiving rape threats onlin
e, Hollaback said.
The clip went viral, triggering a mixed reaction on YouTube and Twitter, as well
as prompting female users to share their experience of what they said was misog
yny and harassment.
Unlike the heroine of the Hollaback PSA, Santa Clara-based freelance writer Jody
Amable did answer back, and recounted her experience on Ravishly.com, an altern
ative news and culture website for women. Amable wrote that she and her boyfrien
d were at a music venue. When her boyfriend left for the bathroom, a man sitting
at the bar began insistently saying hi to her. When she refused to engage, he a
nd his friend unleashed a torrent of verbal abuse.
Oh, come on, what the hell? What the f*ck, I was just trying to be nice. I wasn t t
rying to hit on you! God, why do women always think we're flirting with them? he
turned to his friend, but was shouting loud enough so that I could hear. Women ar
e always like that. Always assume we re flirting.
Amable said she felt a surge of adrenaline, then asked,
to do?
There was silence from the men, then an awkward response from the friend. The fi
rst man then insisted he wasn t flirting.
Amable says she then replayed the incident over and over in her head.
In the hours after, all I could think about was how I had brought it upon myself.
I mean, he was right
all he was doing was trying to say hi. He didn't spike my
drink. He didn't even touch me, she wrote. But for some reason, this messed with m
y head just as much, if not more, than other, more dire incidents of harassment
that I have been involved in.
She then tried to reevaluate her entire stance on male attention, noting that the
unpleasant attempt to chat stopped short of any sort of sexual harassment
but sa
ying that it showed a bigger problem.
This wasn't rape, but this is where it starts. It starts in a culture where I am
alarmed, but not at all surprised that this man's immediate reaction to not even
rejection, but mild interest, was to boil over with rage, Amable said. Rage that
wasn't even directed at just me, but at every woman on the planet. The fact that
I did not instantly acquiesce my attention the moment I met him made him not ju
st angry, but screamingly furious.
While some people see comments like Hello, or Have a nice day, as innocuous, it can
turn sinister when a woman doesn t know the intention behind it or how the man mig
ht react if she does ? or doesn t ? respond. [W]hen a male stranger shouts it, it s j
ust another unearned claim for a woman s attention one that could escalate should th
e woman so much as bat an eyelash. Roberts didn t - she still got harassed at ever
y turn, Hess wrote.
She passed the video on to her male colleagues to gauge their reactions.
I knew this stuff happened I see and hear it every once in a while but the frequency
of the remarks was astounding, one told her.
The video is a great reminder of how even the most innocuous -seeming comments pile
up over the course of an hour, day, and life to feel oppressive and awful, anothe
r said.