What is Personality ?

Personality is the way we present ourselves. There are many factors which effect
personality, one of them is Body Language.
Below are some handy tips about Body language, which may help you when you go for
any Job Interview
Eye contact:
When you look in the eyes and speak you come across as a person of conviction and
it is easy for the listener to believe and trust you.

Eye contact reflects integrity and honesty in you. And also shows that you are a
self confident person.

Body Posture:

The body posture should be erect, straight shoulder and chin up. Just remain relax.

Dont shake your legs.

Dont play with your hair, fingers.

Dont look here in there, because these signs show that you dont have interest. It
also indicates lack of confidence.

Hand shake:

When you shake hands smile and look in the eyes of the person.

A firm grip indicates confidence and comfort.

Remember: Dont hold the hands for too long.

It can give a very bad impression about you, If you know wt I mean ;)

6 Ways to improve your eye contact skills

1. Talking to a group When talking to a group of people it is great to have direct
contact with your listeners. Dont make the mistake of maintaining eye contact with
just one person as this will stop the other members of the group from listening. To
get past this, focus on a different member of the group with every new sentence.
This way you are talking to all of the group and keeping them all interested.
2. Talking to an individual It is great to maintain eye contact when talking to a
person however it can become a bit creepy and uncomfortable if you stare intensely

at them. To combat this, break eye contact every 5 seconds or so. When breaking the
eye contact dont look down as this might indicate the ending of your part of the
conversation. Instead, look up or to the side as if your are remembering something.
Try it just now: dont move your head, and think about the first time you started
school. You will notice your eyes might move up or to the side as you try to remember
this. So when your listener sees this they will think you are trying to remember
something and keep on listening to you.
3. Listening to someone When you are listening to someone it can be off putting for
the talker if you stare at them too hard. The technique I use when I am counseling
someone is to use what I call The triangle. This is when I look at one eye for about 5
seconds, look at the other eye for 5 seconds and then look at the mouth for 5
seconds and keep on rotating in this way. This technique coupled with other listening
skills such as nodding, occasional agreement words such as yes, Uh huh mm etc is a
great way to keep the talker talking and to show them you are interested in what
they are saying.
4. Arguing Arguing with someone is a skill in itself and if you want to compete in an
argument holding the gaze shows strength. If you look away when arguing with
someone you have all but lost the argument. Obviously this depends on who you are
arguing with but in general it is better to hold the gaze whilst you are making your
point and also when you are listening to the other person. We have all come across
the person who is great at arguing and making you feel small, you will notice that
everyone who is like this try to stare you out. Stare back, it will surprise them, piss
them off and put them off what they are trying to say. Staying silent and staring at
someone who is trying to rile you is also an effective way to win an argument without
saying a word.
5. Attracting someone When you are trying to attract someone and show them you
are interested you can talk and listen with your eyes. When a person you like is
speaking use the whole face as your focal point. Look at their eyes, listen to what
they are saying, smile in the appropriate places, raise your eyebrows in the
appropriate places. If you feel you are staring at them move to their other features
such as their lips, their cheeks, their nose and then back to their eyes. Smiling when
listening to someone is a great way to show you are interested in them, obviously dont
smile when they have just told you their pet died last night. You have to listen with
your ears as well as listening with your eyes (yes I did mean listening with your eyes,
you listen to someones body language with your eyes).

6. Loving someone My wife and I often share a prolonged gaze into each others eyes
and it is a very special thing to just stare without talking. My wifes pupils will dilate
and she can my pupils dilating. It creates a strong bond between us. To make your
pupils dilate even more you can try this: as you are staring at your partner imagine
yourself going inside their body and your two souls making love. You are trying to
touch their very soul. This will release adrenalin and make your pupils dilate even
more.
In the beginning easy its to exaggerate your body language. You might sit with your legs
almost ridiculously far apart or sit up straight in a tense pose all the time. Thats ok. And
people arent looking as much as you think, they are worrying about their own problems.
Just play around a bit, practice and monitor yourself to find a comfortable balance.
1. Dont cross your arms or legs You have probably already heard you shouldnt cross
your arms as it might make you seem defensive or guarded. This goes for your legs too.
Keep your arms and legs open.
2. Have eye contact, but dont stare If there are several people you are talking to,
give them all some eye contact to create a better connection and see if they are listening.
Keeping too much eye-contact might creep people out. Giving no eye-contact might make
you seem insecure. If you are not used to keeping eye-contact it might feel a little hard or
scary in the beginning but keep working on it and youll get used to it.
3. Dont be afraid to take up some space Taking up space by for example sitting or
standing with your legs apart a bit signals self-confidence and that you are comfortable in
your own skin.
4. Relax your shoulders When you feel tense its easily winds up as tension in your
shoulders. They might move up and forward a bit. Try to relax. Try to loosen up by shaking
the shoulders a bit and move them back slightly.
5. Nod when they are talking nod once in a while to signal that you are listening. But
dont overdo it and peck like Woody Woodpecker.
6. Dont slouch, sit up straight but in a relaxed way, not in a too tense manner.
7. Lean, but not too much If you want to show that you are interested in what
someone is saying, lean toward the person talking. If you want to show that youre
confident in yourself and relaxed lean back a bit. But dont lean in too much or you might
seem needy and desperate for some approval. Or lean back too much or you might seem
arrogant and distant.
8. Smile and laugh lighten up, dont take yourself too seriously. Relax a bit, smile and
laugh when someone says something funny. People will be a lot more inclined to listen to you
if you seem to be a positive person. But dont be the first to laugh at your own jokes, it
makes you seem nervous and needy. Smile when you are introduced to someone but dont
keep a smile plastered on your face, youll seem insincere.

9. Dont touch your face it might make you seem nervous and can be distracting for the
listeners or the people in the conversation.
10. Keep your head up Dont keep your eyes on the ground, it might make you seem
insecure and a bit lost. Keep your head up straight and your eyes towards the horizon.
11. Slow down a bit this goes for many things. Walking slower not only makes you seem
more calm and confident, it will also make you feel less stressed. If someone addresses
you, dont snap your neck in their direction, turn it a bit more slowly instead.
12. Dont fidget and try to avoid, phase out or transform fidgety movement and nervous
ticks such as shaking your leg or tapping your fingers against the table rapidly. Youll seem
nervous and fidgeting can be a distracting when you try to get something across. Declutter
your movements if you are all over the place. Try to relax, slow down and focus your
movements.
13. Use your hands more confidently instead of fidgeting with your hands and scratching
your face use them to communicate what you are trying to say. Use your hands to describe
something or to add weight to a point you are trying to make. But dont use them to much
or it might become distracting. And dont let your hands flail around, use them with some
control.
14. Lower your drink. Dont hold your drink in front of your chest. In fact, dont hold
anything in front of your heart as it will make you seem guarded and distant. Lower it and
hold it beside your leg instead.
15. Realise where you spine ends many people (including me until recently) might sit or
stand with a straight back in a good posture. However, they might think that the spine
ends where the neck begins and therefore crane the neck forward in a Montgomery Burnspose. Your spine ends in the back of your head. Keep you whole spine straight and aligned
for better posture.
16. Dont stand too close one of the things we learned from Seinfeld is that everybody
gets weirded out by a close-talker. Let people have their personal space, dont invade it.
17. Mirror Often when you get along with a person, when the two of you get a good
connection, you will start to mirror each other unconsciously. That means that you mirror
the other persons body language a bit. To make the connection better you can try a bit of
proactive mirroring. If he leans forward, you might lean forward. If she holds her hands
on her thighs, you might do the same. But dont react instantly and dont mirror every
change in body language. Then weirdness will ensue.
18. Keep a good attitude last but not least, keep a positive, open and relaxed attitude.
How you feel will come through in your body language and can make a major difference. For
information on how make yourself feel better read 10 ways to change how you feel.
You can change your body language but as all new habits it takes a while. Especially things
like keeping you head up might take time to correct if you have spent thousands of days
looking at your feet. And if you try and change to many things at once it might become
confusing and feel overwhelming.
Take a couple of these body language bits to work on every day for three to four weeks.
By then they should have developed into new habits and something youll do without even

thinking about it. If not, keep on until it sticks. Then take another couple of things youd
like to change and work on them.

Importance of Body Language in Personality Development

By Exforsys | on February 6, 2010 | Comments: 1
Personality Development
Body language, which is best defined as a non-verbal form of communication showed
through facial expressions, gestures, posture, and body movements, says a lot about ones
personality. In essence, if you want to achieve an effective personality, you will also need
to improve your body language.
There are many ways you can improve your body language, but like most things, it needs
practice and consistency so that it will become part of you, and not just something you can
do for a certain period of time. If you want to develop your personality in a positive way,
you need to be aware of your own body language and make sure it adheres to what is
generally perceived as positive body language.
Basic Dos for Body Language
These are just some of the different body language examples that you should follow.
Maintaining eye contact is a sign of respect and interest towards the other person. If
someone is talking and you make sure you are keeping your eyes focused on them then this
will make them feel that you are in fact interested in what they have to say.
Another body language is your facial expression. If you are always frowning, this would
indicate that you have a negative aura, and this will push others away. Whereas if you are
constantly seen smiling, you are going to attract other sunny and happy people to you.
Posture is also very important. You need to sit properly, avoid slouching, and if you can,
keep an open posture at all times, leaning towards the speaker whenever necessary, to
show that you are interested.
Donts for Body Language

Just as there are various body language movements and expressions you need to have,
there are also those you need to do away with. These kinds of body language are negative,
and not at all helpful in projecting a pleasant or winning personality.
Fidgeting. This would only indicate nervousness and will make the other person doubt your
credibility or your ability.
Standing too close. When you are too close to someone, physically, it will make the other
person uncomfortable and will also trigger them to think you are invading their personal
space.
Staring. Though it may not always be the case, staring is considered rude. While you
maintain eye contact towards the other person, do not overdo it to the point of staring.
Crossing your arms. This would indicate resistance on your part, so if someone is talking
to you and you are crossing your arms, you will make the other person think that you really
are not agreeing to what they have to say and you are making it known to them.