101 Common Mistakes

to Avoid in Your Writing

Charlie Wilson

A Book Specialist book

Copyright 2012 Charlie Wilson
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be
reproduced, transmitted or stored in an information
retrieval system (other than for purposes of review)
without the express permission of the author given in
writing. The right of Charlie Wilson to be identified
as the author of this work has been asserted by her in
accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents
Act 1988.
To contact the author, visit
www.thebookspecialist.com.

CONTENTS
Introduction ...............................................................5
About this book .......................................................5
About the author ......................................................7
101 mistakes, and how to avoid them........................8
Ten US/UK spelling differences to watch for .........57
Some of my favourite mistakes ...............................58
Quick quiz ...............................................................60

INTRODUCTION
As a professional editor and proofreader, I read
masses of text from books to reports, blogs to
websites, magazine articles to theses. And I find the
same writing mistakes over and over and over again.
Many writers dont even realise theyre making these
common mistakes. Thats where this book comes in.
I hope you find this little book useful in improving
your language skills and giving you confidence in
your writing ability.

ABOUT THIS BOOK

This book helps you avoid mistakes that many
writers make. It is not a definitive guide. I have kept
this book as simple and concise as possible, which
has inevitably meant being selective about the
mistakes I include and avoiding full discussion of the
intricacies of language.
Ive done my best to steer clear of complicated
grammarspeak, but the odd bit of language jargon
was unavoidable. Here, then, are a few technical
words I use in this book, and their definitions:
5

 Adjective: A describing word; describes a noun.

Examples: light, lovely, smelly.
Noun: A word that refers to a thing. Examples:
Jane, table, sea.
Past participle: The form of a verb used to
make certain past tenses. Examples: I had
looked, you have looked, he has looked.
Present tense: The verb form thats in the
present, now. Examples: I am, you are, he is.
Simple past tense: The simplest of the verb
forms thats in the past. Examples: I was, you
were, he was.
Verb: A doing word; a word that describes an
action or state. Examples: walk, give, love.
Note: This book is written in UK English, but the
majority of the guidance applies across all styles and
forms of English, including US English. An asterisk
(*) after an item denotes that US English style guides
may differ from the guidance here.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Im a published author, a ghostwriter and the founder
of The Book Specialist, an editorial agency that
offers ghostwriting, critiquing, developing, editing
and proofreading services to authors and publishers.
Im passionate about the English language, but Im
not one of those dry, boring, old-school grammarians
who bandies about words like subjunctive and
preposition. Instead, I like to find ways to simplify
the understanding of language and make it more
accessible to anyone who wants to write well.
To find out more about me, please visit my website
at www.thebookspecialist.com.

101 MISTAKES, AND HOW TO AVOID

THEM

1. Could of/would of/should of

I wouldve climbed that tree, but Id drunk too much
cider Wouldve said aloud sounds rather like
would of. But youre actually saying would have. The
same goes for could have and should have.
If I could of helped you, I would of. I know I
should of.
If I could have helped you, I would have. I
know I should have.

2. Is comprised of
This is never correct. Use instead is composed of or
comprises.
The thesis is comprised of four parts.
The thesis is composed of four parts.
The thesis comprises four parts.

3. Forming possessives with names that end in s

If you say iz, add an s. Some people like to omit the
s after the apostrophe in possessive forms of
classical names, e.g. Jesus. Unless you really
understand what youre doing, stick to always using
apostrophe and s, or rephrase.
Charles book was about Mars planetary orbit.
Charless book was about Marss planetary
orbit.
Charless book was about the planetary orbit of
Mars.

4. Incomplete sentences
Watch out for incomplete sentences, which dont
make sense when they stand alone.
And so, as the sun set over the horizon and the
lions raced back to their dens, so far from the
vehicle, satisfied by their kill.
And so, as the sun set over the horizon, the lions
raced back to their dens, so far from the vehicle,
satisfied by their kill.
9

5. Its/its
Its is the contraction of it is. Its indicates possession.
Its a rainy day.
Its a rainy day.
The dog lost its bone.
The dog lost its bone.

6. Sat/sitting
Dont confuse the present participle of the verb to sit
(sitting) with the past participle (sat).
I was sat on the bench thinking about the time I
sat here with George.
I was sitting on the bench thinking about the
time I sat here with George.

10

7. Muddled lists in sentences

Check that your lists arent missing a final and. For
example, take this sentence: This is a trading
website where you can see whats for sale, track your
purchases, sales and money owed. Can you see the
problem? The writer is currently incorrectly
presenting the second half of the sentence as a list.
So, on the trading website you can 1) see whats for
sale, 2) track your purchases, and 3) sales and money
owed. Clearly, number 3 isnt right you can sales
and money owed? What the writer means to say is
that on the trading website you can 1) see whats for
sale, and 2) track your purchases, sales and money
owed.
This is a trading website where you can see
whats for sale, track your purchases, sales and
money owed.
This is a trading website where you can see
whats for sale and track your purchases, sales
and money owed.

11

8. Off of
Simply say off, not off of.
I jumped off of the bed.
I jumped off the bed.

9. Snuck/sneaked
Snuck is never correct. Sneaked is the past form of
the verb to sneak.
We snuck quietly out of the house.
We sneaked quietly out of the house.

10. Stood/standing
Dont confuse the present participle of the verb to
stand (standing) with the past participle (stood).
I was stood at the bus stop thinking about the
time I stood here with Sarah.
I was standing at the bus stop thinking about the
time I stood here with Sarah.
12

11. Try and/try to

This is a common mistake. You dont try and do
something; you try to do something.
Im going to try and break the world record.
Im going to try to break the world record.

12. Subject/verb agreement

Ensure that verbs match up with the noun theyre
describing. Be especially careful with phrases like a
variety of and a range of and a wealth of the
verb following the phrase must be singular to agree
with the phrase, not the noun it introduces.
Looks like the cost of houses are falling.
Looks like the cost of houses is falling.
A range of books are available.
A range of books is available.

13

13. Advise/advice
Advise is the verb. Advice is the noun.
I advice you to stop harassing me or Ill call the
police!
I advise you to stop harassing me or Ill call the
police!
I appreciate your advise on this problem.
I appreciate your advice on this problem.

14. Affect/effect
Affect means to make a difference to. Effect as a verb
means to bring about a result; as a noun it means the
result or consequence.
Your kind words have really effected me.
Your kind words have really affected me.
The affects of the earthquake were devastating.
The effects of the earthquake were devastating.

14

15. Born/borne
Born is about starting life. Borne means carried.
I have born the weight of the world on my
shoulders.
I have borne the weight of the world on my
shoulders.
He was borne an idiot.
He was born an idiot.

16. Bought/brought
Bought is the past form of the verb to buy. Brought is
the past form of the verb to bring.
Jamie brought some new shoes with her pocket
money.
Jamie bought some new shoes with her pocket
money.
I bought Dad the post from the doormat.
I brought Dad the post from the doormat.

15

17. Breath/breathe
Breath is the noun. Breathe is the verb.
He was so handsome he took her breathe away.
He was so handsome he took her breath away.
When the elephant sat on me, my first concern
was that I couldnt breath.
When the elephant sat on me, my first concern
was that I couldnt breathe.

18. Chose/choose
Choose is the present tense. Chose is the past tense.
Im going to chose which university to apply to
after I go to the open days.
Im going to choose which university to apply
to after I go to the open days.
He choose a cheese sandwich from the
selection.
He chose a cheese sandwich from the selection.

16

19. Complement/compliment
Complement means goes well together. Compliment
has two meanings: either free of charge, or a nice
comment.
The tie compliments the shirt.
The tie complements the shirt.
Please enjoy a complementary drink.
Please enjoy a complimentary drink.
My complements to the chef!
My compliments to the chef!

20. Councillor/counsellor*
A councillor works for a council. A counsellor
counsels people (gives advice or counsel).
At the town hall meeting a local counsellor
argued the case that each school should have a
councillor to support pupils.
At the town hall meeting a local councillor
argued the case that each school should have a
counsellor to support pupils.
17

21. Dependent/dependant
Dependent is the adjective. Dependant is the noun.
My salary is dependant on my performance.
My salary is dependent on my performance.
He has three dependents: a son and two
daughters.
He has three dependants: a son and two
daughters.

22. Desert/dessert
A desert is a hot, dry, sandy place. A dessert is a
pudding.
In the sweltering heat of the dessert, my icecream desert melted rapidly.
In the sweltering heat of the desert, my icecream dessert melted rapidly.

18

23. Discrete/discreet
Discreet means tactful or unobtrusive; discrete
means separate.
Shouting at a policeman is not discrete
behaviour.
Shouting at a policeman is not discreet
behaviour.
The man stood alone, discreet from the crowd.
The man stood alone, discrete from the crowd.

24. Dryer/drier
Dryer is a noun something that dries. Drier is an
adjective meaning more dry.
You put your clothes in the tumble drier and
they come out dryer.
You put your clothes in the tumble dryer and
they come out drier.

19

25. Except/accept
Accept means to receive. Except means but or
leaving out or to leave out.
I except your conditions, accept the last one.
I accept your conditions, except the last one.

26. Enquire/inquire*
To enquire means to ask. To inquire means to make
a formal investigation.
Im writing to inquire whether you have any
jobs available.
Im writing to enquire whether you have any
jobs available.
The police launched an enquiry into the alleged
assault.
The police launched an inquiry into the alleged
assault.

20

27. Insure/ensure
Ensure means to make sure. Insure means to take
precautions in case of loss or harm.
You must insure that you properly ensure your
home in case of a fire.
You must ensure that you properly insure your
home in case of a fire.

28. Lead/led
As a noun, lead can mean a type of metal or
something Rover drags you along by on his daily
walk. Notice the metal is pronounced led and the
dogs attachment leed. In the verb form the present
tense is lead (pronounced leed). In the past tense, the
verb becomes led.
Jim lead me by the hand.
Jim led me by the hand.

21

29. Loose/lose
Loose is the opposite of tight, and lose is the opposite
of win.
I want to loose more weight. My clothes are
getting lose and I feel great.
I want to lose more weight. My clothes are
getting loose and I feel great.

30. Passed/past
Passed is the past form of the verb to pass. Past has
various meanings: time that has gone by, time before
the present, over, former, beyond in time or place,
by.
I past the pub and then walked passed the park.
I passed the pub and then walked past the park.

22

31. Peak/peek/pique
Peak means summit or highest point. Peek means
glimpse. Pique means stimulate.
Your argument has peaked my interest.
Your argument has piqued my interest.
Through a gap in the curtains I peaked at the
mountain peek.
Through a gap in the curtains I peeked at the
mountain peak.

32. Principle/principal
Principle is a noun meaning a basic truth or
guideline. Principal can be an adjective or a noun
meaning first in rank or importance.
Vegetarians avoid meat on principal.
Vegetarians avoid meat on principle.
She is the principle dancer of the ballet.
She is the principal dancer of the ballet.

23

33. Prise/prize/price
Prise is a verb meaning to move or force with, or as
if with, a lever. Prize is an award. Price is the cost of
something.
I prized open the door.
I prised open the door.
We won first prise in the competition.
We won first prize in the competition.
The prise of bread in that shop is extortionate!
The price of bread in that shop is extortionate!

34. Setup/set up
Set up is the verb. Setup is the noun.
He setup the computer, but the system set up
had some glitches.
He set up the computer, but the system setup
had some glitches.

24

35. Shrank/shrunk
Shrank is the simple past tense. Shrunk is the past
participle.
Honey, I shrunk the kids.
Honey, I shrank the kids
Honey, Ive shrunk the kids.

36. Stationary/stationery
Think e for envelope: stationary means unmoving;
stationery refers to writing supplies.
I unpacked the boxes of stationary.
I unpacked the boxes of stationery.
The car was stationery thanks to its flat tyres.
The car was stationary thanks to its flat tyres.

25

37. Theyre/their/there
Their means belonging to them. There is the opposite
of here. Theyre is the contraction of they are.
The girls played with theyre toys.
The girls played with their toys.
The book is over their.
The book is over there.
There going to the zoo.
Theyre going to the zoo.

38. Warn/worn
Warn means to indicate or advise of trouble or
danger. Worn means attired, wearied or diminished
in value through use.
I worn you not to make me cross!
I warn you not to make me cross!
She was warn out after the long walk.
She was worn out after the long walk.

26

39. Where/wear/were/ware
Where is about location. Wear is a verb (doing word)
meaning to be dressed in. Were is the past tense of
the verb to be. Wares are merchandise.
Were are you?
Where are you?
What are you waring?
What are you wearing?
Where you happy as a child?
Were you happy as a child?
The market trader laid out his wears.
The market trader laid out his wares.

40. Whos/whose
Whos means who is or who has. Whose means
belonging to which person.
Whose coming for dinner this evening?
Whos coming for dinner this evening?
Whos dirty socks are these?
Whose dirty socks are these?

27

41. An/a*
Use an when the word it precedes would sound like
it began with a vowel (a, e, i, o, u) when spoken
e.g. honour, hour, MP.
An European minister and a MP met at an hotel
for a hour-long meeting.
A European minister and an MP met at a hotel
for an hour-long meeting.

42. Fewer/less
Use fewer when you can count the items to which
youre referring. Use less when you cant count the
items.
There are less biscuits in the jar.
There are fewer biscuits in the jar.
Theres fewer time left.
Theres less time left.

28

43. Instead of/rather than

Use instead of when contrasting items that arent
parallel in structure. Use rather than when the
contrasted items are parallel in structure.
When you go out, leave your coat on the table
rather than hanging it up.
When you go out, leave your coat on the table
instead of hanging it up.
The writer uses a PC instead of a Mac.
The writer uses a PC rather than a Mac.

44. Literally
Literally means it really happened. Dont use it for
anything other than fact.
He was so angry, he literally exploded with
rage. (means he physically exploded into lots of
little bits)
He was so angry, he exploded with rage. (means
he lost his rag)

29

45. Lie/lay/lain/laid
You lie down on the bed, but you lay your baby
down in his cot. The difference is, lay involves an
object its not a direct verb. The past tense of the
verb to lie is lay, and the past participle is lain. The
past form and past participle of the verb to lay is laid.
Please lie the package on the floor.
Please lay the package on the floor.
She lay the books on the table.
She laid the books on the table.
We had lain the clothes out on the bed.
We had laid the clothes out on the bed.
I need to lay down.
I need to lie down.
She laid down on the bed.
She lay down on the bed.
He had laid on the sofa all day.
He had lain on the sofa all day.

30

46. A lot, not alot

Two words, not one.
I eat alot of cabbage.
I eat a lot of cabbage.

47. Low/high
Prices are low or high, as are temperatures.
In the sale I found a dress at a really cheap
price.
In the sale I found a dress at a really low price.
In the desert the temperatures are very hot.
In the desert the temperatures are very high.

48. Who/that
When referring to a person, use who not that.
The doctor that treated me was sympathetic.
The doctor who treated me was sympathetic.

31

49. Over/more than

Over is the opposite of under, and you use it to refer
to positioning in space. When referring to quantity,
use more than.
He earns over a million pounds a year.
He earns more than a million pounds a year.

50. Unique
Unique is absolute so something cant be more or
less unique, really unique, totally unique or very
unique.
This is a really unique invention.
This is a unique invention.

51. Publicly, not publically

Say the word aloud; you dont say public-ally.
We were publically humiliated.
We were publicly humiliated.
32

52. Inconsistent spellings

Whatever spelling style youre using, you need to be
consistent.
I dreamed that you learnt to salsa dance.
I dreamed that you learned to salsa dance
When you industrialize a country, you
systemise the workers.
When you industrialize a country, you
systemize the workers.

53. February, not Febuary

A tough one as most people drop the r in the
pronunciation.
The fourteenth of Febuary is Valentines Day.
The fourteenth of February is Valentines Day.

33

54. Liaise, not liase

Dont forget the second i.
Please liase with my secretary about the
arrangements.
Please liaise with my secretary about the
arrangements.

55. Pastime, not passtime or pasttime

Its not a pass time, or a past time.
Watching Bargain Hunt had become an
interesting passtime.
Watching Bargain Hunt had become an
interesting pasttime.
Watching Bargain Hunt had become an
interesting pastime.

34

56. Starting sentences with a numeral

Always spell out a number at the start of a sentence;
this rule supersedes any style youre applying to
spelled-out numbers versus numerals.
50 per cent of six-year-olds believe in Santa.
Fifty per cent of six-year-olds believe in Santa.

57. Gauge, not guage

Think of how it sounds when you say the word aloud
the a sound comes right after the g.
I tried to guage his response.
I tried to gauge his response.

58. Surprise, not suprise

Dont forget the r.
I was suprised to see Granny pole-dancing.
I was surprised to see Granny pole-dancing.

35

59. Separate, not seperate

Say the word aloud and you hear the a sound.
To make a meringue, first seperate the eggs.
To make a meringue, first separate the eggs.

60. Definitely, not definately

Say the word aloud; you can hear the it sound.
Im definately not wearing stilettos for
mountaineering again, she said.
Im definitely not wearing stilettos for
mountaineering again, she said.

36

61. Brackets and punctuation*

Place brackets around the text you are offsetting and
its accompanying punctuation only.
I didnt like the meal he cooked (peach pizza.)
I didnt like the meal he cooked (peach pizza).
(To find out more, visit the website).
(To find out more, visit the website.)

62. Colon
A colon stands alone as a punctuation mark; you
dont need to add a dash.
I offer three services:- hairdressing, makeup and
massage.
I offer three services: hairdressing, makeup and
massage.

37

63. Commas in dialogue

In dialogue, offset terms of address (mate, darling,
Grandpa, Susan) with commas.
Sam do you like my new dress? I was thinking
my dear that we should go out so I can show it
off.
Sam, do you like my new dress? I was
thinking, my dear, that we should go out so I
can show it off.

64. Comma splice

This is a fancy way to describe using a comma to
join two sentences. Its never right, so always join
the sentences properly (e.g. with words like and or
but) or split them using a full stop.
James got out of the car, he walked towards the
house.
James got out of the car. He walked towards the
house.
James got out of the car and he walked towards
the house.
38

65. Commas to replace then

In if sentences you need either a comma or a then.
If you open the door the dog will escape.
If you open the door, then the dog will escape.
If you open the door, the dog will escape.
If you open the door then the dog will escape.

66. Dashes/hyphens
When using a dash in a sentence, make sure it is a
dash () and not a hyphen (-). Microsoft Word often
automatically corrects these as you type, but you
should also do a global search-and-replace for
hyphens masquerading as dashes.
I realised then that I was alone - totally alone.
I realised then that I was alone totally alone.

39

67. Ellipsis ()
Restrain yourself to three dots in an ellipsis.
But he loved me.........so why run away?
But he loved me so why run away?

68. Plurals of acronyms

An acronym is an abbreviation of a phrase formed
with the first letters of each word in the phrase,
capitalised, like CD, PC, UN and so on. You dont
need to use an apostrophe when making a plural of
an acronym.
The MPs got into trouble over their expense
claims.
The MPs got into trouble over their expense
claims.

40

69. Question and exclamation marks

Good writers stick to one question mark or (not and)
exclamation mark only.
Whats up with you??? You look like youve
seen a ghost!?!
Whats up with you? You look like youve seen
a ghost!

70. Quotation marks within quotation marks

Use single quote marks within double, or double
within single.
In his report Dr Brown wrote: There is
increasing concern about the incidence of socalled banana disease in young children.
In his report Dr Brown wrote: There is
increasing concern about the incidence of socalled banana disease in young children.
In his report Dr Brown wrote: There is
increasing concern about the incidence of socalled banana disease in young children.

41

71. Capitalising job titles

Use capital letters for a job title only when its
directly related to a name.
The Chancellor was moaning about the state of
the country to his colleague, prime minister
David Cameron.
The chancellor was moaning about the state of
the country to his colleague, Prime Minister
David Cameron.

72. Capitalising mum/dad

Use a capital for mum/dad (or mother or father etc.)
only when using the word as a term of address.
I followed my Dad out into the garden and
asked, dad, are you happy?
I followed my dad out into the garden and
asked, Dad, are you happy?

42

73. Capitalising seasons

You dont need to capitalise the first letter in
seasons.
I fell in love in Summer, but by Winter my heart
had grown icy.
I fell in love in summer, but by winter my heart
had grown icy.

74. Apostrophes to indicate possession

Remember the film Two Weeks Notice? Well, it
should have been Two Weeks Notice. Why? Because
just as the tables leg means the leg of the table,
so two weeks notice is short for the notice of two
weeks.
I have three years experience.
I have three years experience.

43

75. Consistent use of hyphens

Use a dictionary if in doubt as to whether to use a
hyphen in a word/phrase, and be consistent in your
style throughout.
Your cooperation is appreciated; co-operative
people do well in our company.
Your cooperation is appreciated; cooperative
people do well in our company.
Your co-operation is appreciated; co-operative
people do well in our company.

76. Consistent use of serial comma

The serial comma is a comma before the and/or at
the end of the list. Its entirely optional. Whether you
use it or not, remember to be consistent.
I gave him happiness, love, and fidelity; he gave
me heartache, misery and herpes.
I gave him happiness, love, and fidelity; he gave
me heartache, misery, and herpes.
I gave him happiness, love and fidelity; he gave
me heartache, misery and herpes.
44

77. Italicisation of titles*

Use italics for titles of films, books, plays and
operas.
The film Twilight is based on the book
Twilight.
The film Twilight is based on the book Twilight.

78. Taught/taut/tort/tort
Taught is the past form of the verb to teach. Taut is
the opposite of slack. Tort means a wrongful act. A
torte is a scrumptious cake.
I torte my niece to make a fruit tort.
I taught my niece to make a fruit torte.
He pulled the string taught.
He pulled the string taut.

45

79. Consistent number style

You need to choose a number style and stick to it.
The most common style in non-fiction is to spell out
numbers up to and including ten, and then use
numerals (11, 12, 13 and so on); but in fiction, you
often spell out most numbers.
I bought 3 bananas, 2 pears and 10 apples, and
used them to bake ten tarts and 4 pies.
I bought three bananas, two pears and ten
apples, and used them to bake ten tarts and four
pies.

80. Lightening/lightning
Lightening is when something gets lighter. Lightning
is the big flash in the sky.
Seconds after the thunder, lightening split the
heavens.
Seconds after the thunder, lightning split the
heavens.

46

81. Dairy/diary
In a dairy cows are milked. In a diary you write your
thoughts.
The Dairy of Anne Frank is a moving book.
The Diary of Anne Frank is a moving book.

82. Cease/seize
Cease means come or bring to an end. Seize means
grab suddenly or take by force or have a seizure (fit).
Hostilities seized after the treaty.
Hostilities ceased after the treaty.
She ceased Fifty Shades of Grey and marched
out of the bookshop.
She seized Fifty Shades of Grey and marched
out of the bookshop.

47

83. Handy work/handiwork

No doubt the work is handy, but the word youre
looking for here is handiwork.
The lolly-stick Eiffel Tower was colossal, and I
admired the artists handy work.
The lolly-stick Eiffel Tower was colossal, and I
admired the artists handiwork.

84. Stared/starred
Stared is the past form of the verb to stare. Starred is
the past form of the verb to star.
John starred at the crumpled heap that had once
been his Fiat Punto.
John stared at the crumpled heap that had once
been his Fiat Punto.
Tom Hanks stared in the film Forrest Gump.
Tom Hanks starred in the film Forrest Gump.

48

85. Brasserie/brassiere
Ah, one of my favourites. A brasserie is a classy
place to have lunch. A brassiere is an over-theshoulder boulder holder a bra.
They had a delightful lunch in a little brassiere
in Covent Garden.
They had a delightful lunch in a little brasserie
in Covent Garden.
All these lacy brasseries and thongs and
whatnots terrified Malcolm.
All these lacy brassieres and thongs and
whatnots terrified Malcolm.

86. Themself
Not a word. Use themselves, or avoid using the
singular use of they/them altogether.
As for the addict, they have to help themself.
As for the addict, they have to help themselves.
As for the addict, he has to help himself.
As for addicts, they have to help themselves.
49

87. Adverse/averse
Adverse means preventing success or development,
hostile, unfavourable. Averse means having a strong
dislike or being in opposition to something.
I hope you suffer no averse effects after this
peach-and-pilchard pizza.
I hope you suffer no adverse effects after this
peach-and-pilchard pizza.
He was not adverse to wearing a tutu over his
trousers.
He was not averse to wearing a tutu over his
trousers.

88. Anxious/eager
Anxious means worried. Eager means keen.
She was anxious to try out her new tone-yourbum trainers.
She was eager to try out her new tone-your-bum
trainers.

50

89. Flack/flak
A flack is a publicist. Flak means antiaircraft fire, but
is commonly used to mean excessive or abusive
criticism.
He got considerable flack for wearing a string of
pearls to the office.
He got considerable flak for wearing a string of
pearls to the office.

90. Loath/loathe
Loath is an adjective that means reluctant. Loathe is
a verb that means hate.
Aled was loathe to give up his meat-pie-a-day
habit.
Aled was loath to give up his meat-pie-a-day
habit.
I loath The X Factor.
I loathe The X Factor.

51

91. Tortuous/torturous
Tortuous means full of twists and
turns. Torturous means painful.
I got lost in the books torturous plot.
I got lost in the books tortuous plot.
Listening to Uncle Clive sing Oh Danny Boy
is tortuous.
Listening to Uncle Clive sing Oh Danny Boy
is torturous.

92. Between you and I/me

The explanation is a little complicated, so Ill stick to
saying you wouldnt say between you and he or you
and she or you and they, would you? So use me to
match the pronouns him, her and them.
Between you and I, I havent the faintest idea
what objective pronoun means.
Between you and me, I havent the faintest idea
what objective pronoun means.

52

93. Better/had better

To give advice, you use had better plus a verb.
You better do as the man waving the gun says.
Youd better do as the man waving the gun
says.

94. Apostrophes in numbers

You dont need to use an apostrophe for a plural
number.
Shes a child of the 1980s.
Shes a child of the 1980s.

95. En-dashes/hyphens in ranges

Use a dash, not a hyphen, in a range.
On pages 235-7, I explain that 250-300 cows
crossed the field.
On pages 2357, I explain that 250300 cows
crossed the field.
53

96. Hyphenating numbers

Numbers twenty-one to ninety-nine are hyphenated.
Sixty seven people started the race. Only forty
two crossed the finish line.
Sixty-seven people started the race. Only fortytwo crossed the finish line.

97. Tenderhooks/tenterhooks
Your hooks arent tender; youre full of anticipation.
In ye olden days a tenter was a frame that stretched
woollen cloth; so being on tenterhooks means
stretched, in anxious suspense.
As Usain Bolt sauntered to the finish line, the
crowd was on tenderhooks.
As Usain Bolt sauntered to the finish line, the
crowd was on tenterhooks.

54

98. However as a joining word

However does not have the power to act as a
conjunction (and, but). Change to but, start a new
sentence or use a semi-colon if the two sentences
youre joining are closely related.
I dont like him however I do like her.
I dont like him; however, I do like her.
I dont like him. However, I do like her.
I dont like him, but I do like her.

99. Question mark placement

Put the question mark right after the question.
Why does no one like my Hitler moustache,
wondered Alvin?
Why does no one like my Hitler moustache?
wondered Alvin.

55

100. Interruptions and trailing off

When writing dialogue, use an ellipsis to indicate a
characters words trailing off, and an en dash to
indicate their words being cut off.
I really dont think you want to push that
button, Gwendol
I really dont think you want to push that
button, Gwendol

101. Moot/mute
The correct expression is a moot point, not a mute
point.
Whether or not Cedric meant to call Cecil a
goggle-eyed twit is a mute point.
Whether or not Cedric meant to call Cecil a
goggle-eyed twit is a moot point.

56

TEN US/UK SPELLING DIFFERENCES TO

WATCH FOR
UK

US

aeroplane

airplane

centre

center

cheque

check

colour

color

got

gotten

license (verb); licence

(noun)

licence (verb and noun)

mum

mom

okay

OK

practise (verb); practice

(noun)

practice (verb and noun)

travelled

traveled

57

SOME OF MY FAVOURITE MISTAKES

No book on mistakes would be complete without a
quick look at some of those Ive come across that
have made me smile:

His attire was all a rye.

A-presto!
At the sight of the blood, he wretched violently.
Stop wining, you silly child!
The dog was viscous, but its tail was waging.
He tried in vein to get her attention.
Merrily, they set off on their peddle-o.
The audience were united in a standing
ovulation.
Oh, just ignore me. Im out of salts today.
The pubic area was spacious.
The suede and turnip stew was rank. (No
wonder!)
I wanted to answer, but I was tongue-tired.
He drove the knife into my thy, and then my
midrift.
The secateurs virus spread like wildfire.
On queue, he sniffed oughtily.
Life in the Foreign Lesion was tough.
58

And with that she sailed off, her servant in toe.

The plan is full proof.
She wore a plan whit t-shit.
He was in the first throws of love.
At the end of the garden was a wooden chicken
coup.
They were like Cane and Able.
He was a baking singer.
A beardy-eyed old man.
She disguarded the ideas she did not like.
Her calm exterior bellied her inner turmoil.
The vast geezer shot up into the air, showering
down water.
In trouble again, Jimmy? This is getting to be a
hobbit.
He road off down the rode.
The hoarses wonky gate made it hard to ride.
Such a lovely hew of pink.
I in-hailed the scent of pares.
Woe and behold, there it was.
I liked him; nerveless, I was going to kill him.

59

QUICK QUIZ
Complete the sentences to test your knowledge (the
answers are on the next page):
1. Can you hear me______
a) Bob?
b) , Bob?
2. Adam shaved off six _______ worth of beardstubble.
a) months
b) months
3. The boss was forced to _______ his employees
resignation.
a) except
b) accept
4. Grabbing her by the hand, he ______ her from the
burning barn.
a) led
b) lead
5. The support organisation gives ______.
a) advice
b) advise
6. Mr ______ snoring annoys his wife.
a) Jones
b) Joness
60

7. I cant _____ between them.

a) chose
b) choose
8. Please ______ you fasten your seatbelt.
a) insure
b) ensure
9. The boy was late for school ______ the teacher
did not notice.
a) ; however
b) , however
10. As she ______ the mirror, she admired her
reflection.
a) past
b) passed
11. I couldnt work out ______ to go.
a) where
b) ware
c) wear
d) were
12. He took his ______ out for lunch.
a) mum
b) Mum
13. The bolt of ______ hit Electric Jim in the head.
a) lightening
61

b) lightning
14. Ill ______ keep it a secret.
a) try to
b) try and
15. We threw a _____ party for Dads fiftieth.
a) suprise
b) surprise
16. She was ______ at the door.
a) stood
b) standing
17. Mmm. This raspberry ______ is delicious.
a) tort
b) torte
18. The eagle swooped down to grab ______ prey.
a) its
b) its
19. The thieves ______ stolen the car, but it
wouldnt start.
a) would have
b) would of
20. In ______ the leaves fall from the trees.
a) autumn
b) Autumn
21. ______ son was born on a Wednesday.
62

a) Their
b) Theyre
c) There
22. You can grow ______ herb garden on your patio.
a) a
b) an
23. Jane was ______ to admit she fancied James.
a) loath
b) loathe
24. The baby ______ crying once we found her
dummy.
a) seized
b) ceased
25. I cut my own hair ______ going to a
hairdressers.
a) instead of
b) rather than

63

Answers
1. b
2. b
3. b
4. a
5. a
6. b
7. b
8. b
9. a
10.
11.
12.
13.

14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.

b
a
a
b

64

a
b
b
b
b
a
a
a
a
a
b
b