Professional Documents
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Student Edition
Contents
Foundations 1
Pronunciation: Changing Meaning through Word Stress
(Worksheet)
Worksheets
o Fonetics.com
Listen and repeat exercises. (with audio)Add worksheets for inclass work.
o Englishclub.com
o Englishzone.com
stress patterns
o Englishzone.com
maze game
(worksheet about.com)
Rhythm (pollnoll.com)
o Syllable rhythm rules
o Limericks
Rhythm
Clarity, Voicing, and Length of Syllable
Clarity; Contrast between Stops and Continsuants.
Clarity; Puffs of Air.
Stress patterns
English Rhythm
Word stress patterns
Sentence stress patterns
Limerick patterns
Consonants
Joining words
Ending ED
(englishforeveryone.org) Worksheet
Three ways to pronounce ed - Worksheet
Sentences with all the words stressed (Dont look now) (Pronunciation in use
2003) Unit 32
Emphasizing contrasting alternatives (Chips or Salad (Pronunciation in use
2003) Unit 52
Emphasizing added details (Schwartz Pedro Schwartz Salad (Pronunciation in
use 2003) Unit 50
Emphasizing corrections (Fifty? No, fifteen!) (Pronunciation in use 2003)
Unit 53
Emphasizing important words (I think youre in my seat) (Pronunciation in use
2003) Unit 51
Grouping Words
Grouping words (A shirt and a tie / a shirt and tie) (Pronunciation in use 2003)
Unit 43
Understanding small talk ( I mean, its sort of like ) (Pronunciation in use 2003)
Unit 46
Showing that you want to continue ( Ehm ,,, ) (Pronunciation in use 2003)
Unit 44
Reading aloud: pronouncing punctuation ( Was that the questions? he
(Pronunciation in use 2003) Unit 42
The FINAL test
Pronunciation Elective
Quiz 1
Copy ~ This is a short quiz. Points are not given, but will count toward the participation total.
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5
Homework 2 / DRAMA
The Hamburger
10 points
Students will review a video file of the Pink Panther Hamburger episode. (A link
will be sent the students for review.) The students will then choose another 3 or
more syllable word and emulate the video. The key is to create different
variations of sounds for each syllable. A sample is included and a rubric score
required.
Week 7
Limericks
10 points
Students will be required to write and present three (3) limericks. Students will
be strongly encouraged to send to the Woosong Review for publication.
Rubric points will be considered for the point value.
Week 9
Conversation
Students will make a conversation comprised of 10 questions and answer
sequences. Suggestions are included in the manual. Participation points will be
given for this in-class task.
Pretest
Also a goodgle form
12/22/2014
PronunciationPrequestionnaire
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Pronunciation Pre-questionnaire
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Week 1
Week 1
Introduction and review of the class.
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Objective
Students will understand the question, Why intonation is
important? and use it effectively through practice.
Outcomes
Process
Pronunciation Foundations
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Dear Students,
They say that pronunciation is often missed when you learn English. There are so many ideas to
learn and the rules of English hard to understand. In this class you will be challenged to say
things right, have fun doing the homework, and be required to do ALL the work in the student
book. You will see video and websites to bookmark so you can continue learning.
You will look at only a few of the things you may struggle with. Your participation score will
reflect what you do in class. Ask questions, write new words, work hard on the assignments,
and be ready for every class. You will be asked to make a limerick and post to the Woosong
Review website. This will give you a published article to put on your resume and show your
parents and friends.
Pronunciation can be boring, but we want to have a bit of fun. Over the last two semesters, the
students learned many words that they didnt know before. They learned them because they
didnt know that if they pronounce them wrong, people would think wrong. This made the
learning more challenging and expanded their vocabulary understanding.
In this class, you will hear the stress on intonation and rhythm often. This is because this is very
important to communication. If you hear right you can respond with intelligence. If you hear
wrong, you will sound silly.
Pronunciation is the most important part of communication. Work to improve your stress and
intonation which is different from you natural speaking style. Learn how you can continue
improving even after the semester is over. You do not always have time to go to a class, but you
can always keep improving by learning small practice ideas from class.
Lets have fun together,
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 1
Introduction and review of the class.
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 1
Day 1
Introduction
Syllabus
Rubrics
Homework
Reading
Tests
Day 2
Meaning change Worksheet
Reading / speed /stress
Can / cant
Activity phone call worksheet
Worksheet / Stress and Tone fonetiks.com
Video x 2 - Lesson 11 a/b - CAN_ CAN'T
English Pronunciation (American Accent training)
Week 1
Introduction and review of the class.
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
http://esl.about.com/cs/pronunciation/a/a_wordstress.htm
When you are speaking English the words you stress can change the underlying meaning of a
sentence. Let's take a look at the following sentence:
I don't think he should get the job.
This simple sentence can have many levels of meaning based on the word you stress. Consider
the meaning of the following sentences with the stressed word in bold. Read each sentence aloud
and give a strong stress to the word in bold:
As you can see, there are many different ways this sentence can be understood. The important point to
remember is that the true meaning of the sentence is also expressed through the stressed word or
words.
Week 1
Introduction and review of the class.
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Worksheet
Here is an exercise to help you develop the art of correct word stress. Take the following sentence:
I said she might consider a new haircut.
Say the sentence aloud using the stress word marked in bold. Once you have spoken the sentence a few
times, match the sentence version to the meaning below.
Week 1
Introduction and review of the class.
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
By Kenneth Beare
http://esl.about.com/od/speakingadvanced/a/timestress.htm
Correct intonation and stress are the key to speaking English fluently with good
pronunciation. Intonation and stress refers to the music of the English language. Words
that are stressed are key to understanding and using the correct intonation brings out
the meaning. After students have learned basic consonant and vowel sounds, they
should move on to learning to differentiate between individual sounds by using minimal
pairs. Once they are comfortable with individual words, they should move on to
intonation and stress exercises such as sentence markup. Finally, students can take the
next step by choosing a focus word to help further improve their pronunciation.
The following exercise can be used by students and teachers to further help with
pronunciation by focusing on the stressing content words rather than function words in
the exercise below.
Say this sentence aloud and count how many seconds it takes.
The beautiful Mountain appeared transfixed in the distance. ( 5 seconds )
Now, try speaking this sentence aloud.
He can come on Sundays as long as he doesn't have to do any homework
in the evening. ( 5 seconds )
This simple exercise makes a very important point about how we speak and use English.
Namely, English is considered a stressed language while many other languages are
considered syllabic.
What does that mean? It means that, in English, we give stress to certain words while
other words are quickly spoken (some students say eaten!). In other languages, such as
French or Italian, each syllable receives equal importance (there is stress, but each
syllable has its own length).
Week 1
Introduction and review of the class.
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 1
Introduction and review of the class.
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Let's return to the beginning example to demonstrate how this affects speech.
The beautiful Mountain appeared transfixed in the distance. (14 syllables)
He can come on Sundays as long as he doesn't have to do any homework in the
evening. (22 syllables)
Even though the second sentence is approximately 30% longer than the first, the
sentences take the same time to speak. This is because there are 5 stressed words
in each sentence. From this example, you can see that you needn't worry about
pronouncing every word clearly to be understood (we native speakers certainly don't).
You should however, concentrate on pronouncing the stressed words clearly.
Week 1
Introduction and review of the class.
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
http://www.fonetiks.org/engsou7am.html
Tone
She's divorced.
Week 1
Introduction and review of the class.
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 2
Week 2
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Objective
Students will understand the idea of content and function and which
to stress for best communication.
Outcomes
Students will have a better understanding of content and function and their
relationship to the stress.
Students will understand the rules of stress and intonation through sound
scripting of paragraphs improving their reading skills.
Process
Students will be required to learn rules about pronunciation stress and intonation
for test 1.
A short quiz
Week 2
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Day 1
How to improve your pronunciation
Rules
Content / Function
Sound Scripting
Day 2
Word Syllable Stress Patterns in English
Englishclub.com
Englishzone.com
Stress patterns
Game: Maze
Quiz 1
Englishzone.com
Week 2
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
http://esl.about.com/cs/pronunciation/ht/ht_prononce.htm
Difficulty: Hard
Here's How:
1. Learn the following rules concerning pronunciation.
2. English is considered a stressed language while many other languages are
considered syllabic.
3. In other languages, such as French or Italian, each syllable receives equal
importance (there is stress, but each syllable has its own length).
4. English pronunciation focuses on specific stressed words while quickly gliding over
the other, non-stressed, words.
5. Stressed words are considered content words: Nouns e.g. kitchen, Peter - (most)
principal verbs e.g. visit, construct - Adjectives e.g. beautiful, interesting - Adverbs e.g.
often, carefully.
6. Non-stressed words are considered function words: Determiners e.g. the, a Auxiliary verbs e.g. am, were - Prepositions e.g. before, of - Conjunctions e.g. but,
and - Pronouns e.g. they, she
Week 2
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
7. Read the following sentence aloud: The beautiful Mountain appeared transfixed in the
distance.
8. Read the following sentence aloud: He can come on Sundays as long as he doesn't
have to do any homework in the evening.
9. Notice that the first sentence actually takes about the same time to speak well!
10. Even though the second sentence is approximately 30% longer than the first, the
sentences take the same time to speak. This is because there are 5 stressed words
in each sentence.
11. Write down a few sentences, or take a few example sentences from a book or
exercise.
12. First underline the stressed words, then read aloud focusing on stressing the
underlined words and gliding over the non-stressed words.
13. Be surprised at how quickly your pronunciation improves! By focusing on stressed
words, non-stressed words and syllables take on their more muted nature.
14. When listening to native speakers, focus on how those speakers stress certain words
and begin to copy this.
Tips:
1. Remember that non-stressed words and syllables are often 'swallowed' in
English.
2. Always focus on pronouncing stressed words well, non-stressed words can be
glided over.
3. Don't focus on pronouncing each word. Focus on the stressed words in each
sentence.
Week 2
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Word stress and intonation within sentences is very important to correct English
pronunciation. Recently, while creating a course on presentation skills in English, I
came across a wonderful book by Mark Powell entitled Presenting in English. In it, there
are "sound scripting" exercises which help learners become more expressive by taking
sentence intonation skills to the next level.
These examples use a method of bolding key content words and CAPITALIZING the
most important words chosen for the best emotional impact.
This starts off with a simple sentence paragraph that an intermediate student might use
to practice and ends with a more advanced selection that is typical of a presentation.
Paragraph to be Read
Our school is the best in town. The teachers are friendly, and very knowledgeable about
English. I've studied at the school for two years and my English is becoming very good.
I hope you will visit our school and try an English class. Maybe we can become friends,
too!
Paragraph with Sound Scripting Markup
Our school is the BEST in town. The teachers are friendly, and VERY
KNOWLEDGEABLE about English. I've studied at the school for two years and
my English is becoming VERY GOOD. I hope you will visit our school
and try an English class. MAYBE we can become FRIENDS! - Listen to Example
scripting_1.mp3
Paragraph to be Read
In this day and age, facts, statistics and other numbers are used to prove everything.
Intuition, gut feelings and personal preferences are all out the door. Of course, there are
some who are trying to battle this trend. Recently, Malcolm Gladwell wrote Blink, a bestseller which explores the usefulness of making split-second decisions based on intuition
rather than careful consideration of all the facts and figures.
Week 2
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
In this book, Gladwell argues that initial impressions - or gut-feelings - are quite rational.
However, that this "split-second" thinking process moves faster than what we usually
associate with thinking. If you are one of these people - and there are many of us - Blink
provides "proof" that you're actually quite a rational human being.
Paragraph with Sound Scripting Markup
In this day and age, facts, statistics and other numbers are used to prove
EVERYTHING. Intuition, gut feelings and personal preferences are all OUT THE
DOOR. Of course, there ARE some who are trying to battle this trend.
Recently, Malcolm Gladwell wrote BLINK, a best-seller which explores the
USEFULNESS of making SPLIT-SECOND DECISIONS based on INTUITION rather than careful
consideration of all the facts and figures.
In his book, Gladwell argues that INITIAL IMPRESSIONS - or GUT-FEELINGS - are quite rational.
However, that this "split-second" thinking process moves FASTER than what we usually
associate with thinking. If YOU are one of these people - and there are MANY of us - Blink
provides "PROOF" that you're actually quite a RATIONAL HUMAN BEING. scripting_2.mp3
Listen to Example
Week 2
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 2
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Day 2
REBUS RHYME
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey.
There came a big spider,
He sat down beside her.
And frightened Miss Muffet away!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Song
Pop ! Goes the Weasel
All around the mulberry bush,
The monkey chased the weasel.
The monkey thought 'twas all in fun.
Pop ! goes the weasel.
A penny for a spool of thread,
A penny for a needle.
That's the way the money goes.
Pop ! goes the weasel.
Up and down the city road,
In and out of the eagle,
That's the way the money goes.
Pop ! goes the weasel.
Half a pound of tuppenney rice,
Half 1/2 a pound of treacle,
Mix it up and make it nice,
Pop ! goes the weasel.
Week 2
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
PersonNEL
TOtally
InDUstrial
ToMAto
FanTAstic
Unstressed syllables keep the correct sound, but sound muted. Sometimes,
unstressed vowels become a schwa sound - like a soft "uh" sound.
For example:
wordstress2.mp3
Little
Tomato
Industrial
Noisily
With this in mind, here are the eight common word stress patterns in English.
One Syllable - Stressed
All one syllable words have the stress on the one syllable.
The intonation should go down.
EAT
DRINK
SIGN
WELL
wordstress4.mp3
Week 2
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Two Syllable - First Syllable Stressed
wordstress5.mp3
Giant
PICture
HEAting
toDAY
aHEAD
aLLOW
ENergy
Operate
ORganize
meMORial
asSUMPtion
caNAdian
employEE
japanESE
voluntEER
psyCHOLogy
eVAporate
cerTIficate
poliTIcian
indiVIdual
repuTAtion
Week 2
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 2
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 2
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 2
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 2
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 2
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Ok, I got the idea from a book called Teaching Oral English K-8, but I've used it with my
undergrad and adult learners, all to wonderful effect.
1) Explain that in English you have to give stress to certain words to deliver certain meanings:
review examples like "Oh" and give emphasis to disappointment, anger, surprise, grasp idea
etc...
2) Model a sentence like
Throwing emphasis first on MONEY? and then GIVE? and YOU? etc...
3 ) This simple dialog can be committed to memory:
A: Hi, how are you?
B: Fine, thank you. And you?
A: Just great. What have you been doing lately?
B: Oh, not much. But I've been keeping busy.
A: Well...it's been good to see you.
B: Yes, it has...well, bye!
A: Goodbye.
Do group choral response till they seem to know it, then have them practice in pairs, still
keeping an uninflected normal neutral tone.
THEN: give each pair a situation, emphasizing that it's SECRET and they musn't show it to
anyone else, that they will act it out and others will have to GUESS who they are by their
inflection, gestures and body language. (I suggest writing the situations on index cards, very
simply: "You are two people who have just met but don't really know each other, and feel
obliged to make small talk on an elevator"....)
Some situations (be creative!):
1) Two athletes (boxers?) who will compete in a match tomorrow
2) A sick person in hospital and friend who visits
Week 3
Week 3
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 3
Objective
Students will understand how to form the mouth for different
sounds.
Outcomes
Students will have a better understanding of how to form the mouth for different
sounds.
Process
Week 3
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Day 1
Drama Presentation
Pronunciation Help - Sentence Stress
Day 2
Foundations II
Alliterations
Spoonerisms
Week 3
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Take a look at the following list of stressed and non-stressed word types.
Basically, stress words are considered CONTENT WORDS
Nouns e.g. kitchen, Peter
(most) principle verbs e.g. visit, construct
Adjectives e.g. beautiful, interesting
Adverbs e.g. often, carefully
Non-stressed words are considered FUNCTION WORDS
Determiners e.g. the, a, some, a few
Auxiliary verbs e.g. don't, am, can, were
Prepositions e.g. before, next to, opposite
Conjunctions e.g. but, while, as
Pronouns e.g. they, she, us
Mark the stressed words in the following sentences.
After you have found the stressed words, practice reading the sentences
aloud.
Week 3
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
They have been having to work hard these last few months on their
challenging experiment.
Mark the stressed words in the following sentences. After you have found the stressed words,
practice reading the sentences aloud.
John is coming over tonight. We are going to work on our homework together.
We should have visited some more castles while we were traveling through the
back roads of France.
Week 3
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
They have been having to work hard these last few months on their challenging
experiment.
Week 3
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Foundations II
Week 3
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 3
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 3
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 3
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 3
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 3
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
lighting a fire
lack of pies
it's roaring with pain
sealing the hick
go help me sod
pit nicking
bowel feast
I'm a damp stealer
hypodemic nurdle
wave the sails
pack of lies
it's pouring with rain
healing the sick
so help me God
nit picking
foul beast
I'm a stamp dealer
hypodermic needle
save the whales
mad bunny
I'm shout of the hour
lead of spite
this is the pun fart
I hit my bunny phone
flutter by
bad money
I'm out of the shower
speed of light
this is the fun part
I hit my funny bone
butterfly
wedding bells
bedding wells
Week 3
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 3
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 4
Week 4
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 4
Objective
Students will understand how to form the mouth for different
phonetic sounds and increase vocabulary and vowel stress.
Outcomes
Process
Week 4
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Day 1
Mono /Dipthong review
Movie - Vowel Sounds Part 1: Monophthongs
Minimal Pairs introduction and practice
Single syllable review
Game - Phonetic Crossword
Day 2
Pronunciation Exercises
Introducing letters and sounds (Unit 1 Buy /bye)
Video - Diphthongs Vowels & Diphthongs - English
Pronunciation & Listening Practice (Part 2)
American English stress and tone
Bridge activity Fun with photography
(conversation making using technology with the letter B)
Week 4
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Practice
Week 4
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Minimal pairs
Intonation
Stress and intonation: One of the biggest problems that every ESL student faces is
putting the right emphasis on the right part of the word. This is something you can
learn by listening carefully and marking written words.
Consonant blends: If you are not accustomed to putting "t" and "h" together to form
"th", this can be a very difficult sound to reproduce. There are many consonant blends
that are difficult for ESL students. Again, this tends to depend on what their mother
tongue was.
Vowel blends: Sounds like "ou" and "ea" can be confusing to the ESL student, as well.
Native English speakers usually speak so quickly that it can be very difficult to pick
up the subtle blends of two or more vowels, making it even harder to repeat.
Depending on the student`s original language the following can also be issues: Certain
consonants: Japanese, Koreans and other Asian nationalities often have difficulties
pronouncing or distinguishing "l" and "r". Arabic speakers may confuse "z" with "j"
and Spanish speakers frequently use "b" when they are trying to say "v". German
speakers find it difficult to use the "d" sound, usually substituting "t" instead.
Adding or removing sounds: For some students, new sounds slip into words. For
example, French speaking students often add an "r", saying "hurt" instead of "hut".
Both Russians and the French tend to drop the "k" in blended endings, such as with
"link". Instead, they might say "lin" or even "ling".
Week 4
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 4
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 4
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 4
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 4
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Day 2
Week 4
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 4
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 4
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 4
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
http://www.fonetiks.org/engsou7am.html
Tone
She's divorced.
Week 4
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
--
How many B words can you use when you ask/answer these questions. Points
will be given for each B word used. Collect them and WIN
Posted in Conversation Lesson Plans, Lesson Plans on Jul 14th, 2010
This is another one-hour conversation activity. For an introduction to the series, click here. Enjoy.
Name: Fun with Photography
Materials: None for you, but at least one in every three students should have a cell phone with a camera
Primary Objective: Discuss technology
Other Benefits: This a nice lesson for practicing giving details on a given theme
Plan:
Pre-Speaking (20 minutes)
Write the word Technology on the board. Ask the class to give you some examples of different
technologies. Write a few on the board. Now, have the students each make a list of ten different
technologies.
Next, have them share their lists with the students around them. Ask some of the quieter and lower
level students to share some of the things on their lists. Write those things on the board too.
Now, ask the students to raise their hand if they have a camera on their cell phone. If everyone has a
camera, then there is no need to create groups. However, if someone doesnt have a camera, theyll
need to get into a group with someone who does. Create as many groups as are necessary (but no
more).
Finally, explain to the students that they should leave the classroom and take pictures of five different
technologies with their cameras. Tell them they have ten minutes to return to the classroom.
Speaking (30 minutes)
While the students are gone, write the following questions (and sample answers) on the board:
Is your technology big or small? It is big. / It is small. It is medium-sized.
Is your technology old or new? Its new. Its old.
Week 4
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
When was your technology invented? It was invented about XX years ago.
Do most people use your technology? Yes, most people use this. / No, most people dont use it.
http://blog.stuartmillenglish.com/2010/07/14/fun-with-photography/ 2/5
When the students return, put them in pairs (or pair up the groups). Without
showing the pictures, they should ask each other questions that will help them
guess what the technology is. (Like twenty questions) After the item is guessed,
they should show their partner/other group the picture and do the next item.
(Before they start, model the activity with a couple students.)
For example
A: Is your technology big or small?
B: It is small.
A: Is your technology old or new?
B: It is pretty new.
A: When was your technology invented?
B: It was invented about 30 years ago.
A: Is it a computer mouse?
B: Yes! Here, look at the picture.
After the students finish, have them switch to a new person/pair and repeat the
process. While the students work on this, write the following on the board: Look
at your pictures. With a partner discuss these questions:
Which technology is your favorite? Why?
Which technology is the most important? Why?
How often do you use each technology?
Some technologies, like typewriters, arent used very much anymore. Which of these
technologies is the most likely to disappear in the future?
Who uses these technologies more: younger or older people?
Week 4
Foundations 1
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
After the students finish, have them switch to a new person/pair and discuss the questions
again.
Post-Speaking (10 minutes)
Now, ask the questions above to a few students and ask them follow-up questions as well. The
rest of the class should listen.
Finally, go around the class and ask each student to say one thing that they learned during this
activity. It can be anything, but everyone should say something.
Extension
Have the students draw a pictures of a future technologies. Then, they should get in groups and
ask each other the first set of questions above before showing their pictures to each other. For
time, have them draw several pictures.
Notes:
Ideas for Homework/Another Extension: Have the students take more pictures of technology, but make
it a scavenger hunt. For instance, tell them they have to take pictures of at least one technology that is:
older than 100 years, less than 10 years old, bigger than a house, smaller than a cell phone, colored blue,
etc.
Modification for Lower Levels: Youll have to adjust the questions so that your students can handle them
and probably do a lot more modeling than is suggested above, but the basics should be OK.
Modification for Higher Levels: Add discussion questions that force a bit more complex thought/complex
grammar/complex vocab (e.g. How did people get by without this technology? How could this
technology be improved? etc.) And/or have the students write some more technology discussion
questions of their own.
Modification for Small Groups: For small groups, you can still do everything, but everyone will need a
camera. Also, you should probably just discuss everything as a class. Finally, youll likely need to do the
extension activity.
Modification for Different Themes: Instead of having the students take pictures of different technologies,
have them take pictures on your theme. Amongst many others, food, transportation, and clothing would
all work. Youll have to adjust the questions for your theme.
Week 5
Week 5
Ed plus To Be
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 5
Objective
Students will understand the different pronunciations of the ed
ending, and the stress of the verb To Be
Outcomes
Students will have practiced and become better in the use of the ed changes in
words.
Process
Students will practice with Pronouncing the verb TO BE - Unit 35 and 21 introduction to
syllables.
Students will review the video clip Hamburger to write their presentation script
for homework. (sample incuded)
Week 5
Ed plus To Be
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Day 1
Review video Pronouncing the Flap T
Review Unit 35 She was first
Worksheets 3 ways to pronounce T/D w/ answers
Fill in the blank
English club
Option video (Content and Function Bills Eng)
Day 2
Video review My Bike
Review Unit 21 Introducing Syllables
Game phonetic code B16 (copy)
Worksheets Stress patterns
Long E sound
Video for homework Hamburger
(send to students for review)
Sample script included due next class.
Week 5
Ed plus To Be
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 5
Ed plus To Be
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 5
Ed plus To Be
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 5
Ed plus To Be
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 5
Ed plus To Be
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 5
Ed plus To Be
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 5
Ed plus To Be
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 5
Ed plus To Be
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 5
Ed plus To Be
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Day 2
Week 5
Ed plus To Be
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 5
Ed plus To Be
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 5
Ed plus To Be
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 5
Ed plus To Be
How to Improve your Pronunciation
Pronunciation Elective 2015-1 WSU
Professor Paul R. Friesen
Week 6
Week 6
Objective
Students will understand how to use stress in words and sentences
correctly enabling rhythm to become more natural.
Outcomes
Process
Day 1
Video - English Pronunciation Vowel Length
Affected by Ending Consonant American Accent
Review Unit 22 Word stress
Worksheet Word Stress 5
Review Unit 30
Worksheet Word Stress 9
Day 2
Video Word stress sentence position
Review Unit 31
Game Used to / Would
Review Unit 23
Worksheet Stress and tone
Day 1
Day 2
Week 7
Week 7
Objective
Students will understand the shwa and how important it is to English
pronunciation.
Outcomes
Process
Day 1
Video Worksheet
Limerick writing homework review
Day 2
Introduction to Vowels (schwa)
Worksheet _ Vowel chart
Video The Schwa
Review for test
Day 1
Rhythm
pollnoll.com
A. Each language has its own rules for rhythm. Clear English speech depends on
the way varying lengths of syllables produce a characteristic rhythm. You will be
much easier to understand if you use a proper English rhythm.
Syllable rhythm rules:
1. Clear vowels are full (long).
Unclear vowels are reduced (short).
._____
along
_____
above
_____
around
_______
banana
b. ___ _______
a basket
____
Alaska
_______
Nebraska
___ ______
the record
_____
fruit.
__________
impossible
___ _______
It's possible.
.
3 When two or more full vowels are spoken in succession, length is added to
each vowel. This makes the speech sound emphatic (strong).
a.
_____ _____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ____
passport
mailbox
airport
maintain
B. Listen to the following limerick to practice rhythm.
A STUdent was SENT to TACOma
InTENding to EARN a diploma
He SAID, "With the RAIN,
I don't WANT to reMAIN,
I THINK I'd preFER OklaHOma."
C. In the following sentences, the last three words are dramatically slowed
down because there are three vowels in succession. Practice saying
them.
1. Give me your permission to go right now.
2. We're all very proud of that fine young man.
3. The government intends to stop all drugs.
reduction
suggestion
correction
obligation
registration
intention
frustration
4 syllables
opposition
dedication
interaction
5 syllables
administration
examination
simplification
clarification
justification
6 syllables
identification
reinterpretation reunification
8 syllables
internationalization
~~~~~~~~~~~
reexamination
rejustification
Limericks
Clear English Review -- Page 18
A. English Rhythm
Listen to this limerick and practice the rhythm. Notice that "young maid" and "most" are
lengthened because they have full vowels in succession. This makes them more emphatic.
There was a young maid from Madras
Who had a most magnificent ass;
Not rounded and pink,
As you probably think--It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.
1. have half
2. save safe
4. prove proof
5. rode wrote
6. bed bet
7. rag rack
8. bug buck
9. cab cap
1. pan ban
2. pole bowl
6. tense dense
3. pace base
7. came game
4. tie die
8. could good
5. toe doe
9. cash dash
E. Stress Patterns
Practice saying these words.
relative
photograph
photography
discipline
arrangement
automatic
indication
agency
participate
anyhow
alternate
argumentative
agreement
economic
absolutely
F. English Rhythm
A word said by itself is like a small sentence.
It must have all the rhythm and emphasis of a sentence.
Word Stress
1. atTRACtive
2. absoLUTE
3. reSPONsible
4. ElectrifiCAtion
Sentence Stress
5. It is ACtive.
6. Have some FRUIT.
7. It's POSSible.
8. She went to the STAtion.
G. Limericks
Practice the following limericks. Tap the emphasis to be sure of the rhythm.
I KNEW a MAN from ArkanSAS
Who ATE a ROCK
that BROKE his JAW.
"WHAT do you THINK"
He SAID with a WINK,
"PerHAPS it's BAD
to EAT them RAW."
Homework
Write 3 limericks or 1 three verse limerick for publication in the Woosong Review (optional in
classes outside of Woosong)
Present one or whole to the class for scoring. Scoring will focus on the use of rhythms and
word stress combined with the story and rhyme.
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
Day 2
The Schwa
It is always weak
i as in lentil /lentl/
o as in computer /kmpju:t/
u as in supply /spla/
How can a student of English master the schwa sound?
Firstly, learn to pronounce it. Relax the jaw, lips and tongue and say //.
(Download the free sample of The Sound of English to hear it).
Secondly, look for the stress in a word the schwa is never stressed, it will only appear
on weak syllables.
Thirdly, make friends with your dictionary. The IPA transcriptions will show you exactly
where to pronounce the schwa eg. /f:/
Fourthly, listen carefully. Remember that one in three vowels in English speech is a
schwa, so try and train your ear to hear it.
EXERCISE
In the following words there is one schwa sound can you spot where it is? If you
cannot, use a dictionary to help:
alert
cupboard
corrupt
submit
perhaps
ankle
fossil
London
water
persist
compile
collide
Schwa is covered extensively in The Sound of English as a sound and a structure of speech.
Week 8
Week 9
Week 9
Objective
Students will understand the schwa and how syllable stress can
change meanings.
Outcomes
Process
Day 1
Review the test points
Worksheet Vowel exercises
Team challenge conversation
Day 2
Stress in two-syllable words Unit 28 and 37
Review the worksheet on syllable stress
Play a game copy two-sided and have students
fill out their own game with words
from the week.
It is always weak
corrupt
submit
perhaps
ankle
fossil
London
collide
water
persist
compile
Schwa is covered extensively in The Sound of English as a sound and a structure of speech.
Clear English /
A. Hey! I see something crossing the street. Did you see it?
B. Yeah! Is it a cat?1
A. No, it is a dog. A small dog. Was it caught?2
B. No, it's still free. ________________?
Him
1. read
2. teach
3. reach
4. bean
5. speak
6. needle
7. seem
8. keep
9. thief
10. cream
11. theme
12. spleen
gift
picnic
nickel
little
Britain
symbol
syllable
myth
pickle
simple
list
hiss
the, a, seven, letter, calendar, an, and, but, madam, normal, ocean, Arab, comedy,
courageous, nation, woman, around, controversy, circuitous, to, at, from, for*
bird, heard, herd, work, world, were, curl, urge, girl, early, firm, circuit
beat, seat, sheet, receive, brief, pier, fear, seizure, obscene, here, hear, beer,
serene, prenatal, breathe, the (before vowels), leisure, we, he, she
bit, kit, mint, hill, hymn, women, it, which, av(e)rage, cyclical, bicycle, pretty,
forage, pigeon, lettuce, busy, business, build, Jesus's, mountain, waited, beloved
bet, let, set, weather, whether, when, pleasure, measure, friend, breath, ahead,
instead, feather, realm
air, where, wear, there, their, they're, various, pear, welfare, fair, aware, hair, care,
scare, scarce, square
bat, cat, hat, add, madam, and (strong form), back, have, can, can't, ask
bad, mad, sad, glad, man, ma'am, land, fast, last, rather, class, half, halve
father, palm, balm, calm
cart, heart, arm, radar, hard, charm, guard
but (strong form), putt, cup, some, mother, come, other, above, shovel, love,
enough, tough ('gh' = 'f')
should, put, good, would, could, wood, wool, woman, wolf
shoe, to ('strong' form), two, too, true, food, wooed, lieutenant, chew, cruise, new,
knew, flu, you, who, whose, sue, through, poor, moor, tour, sure, dour
cot, hot, dog, got, God, on, from (final), what, walk, controversy, caught,
bought, taught, ought**
more, mourn, tore, door, four, sore, roar, pour, pore
Day 2
Week 10
Week 10
Objective
Students will understand the stress and rhythm to use when a
consonant is in the joined to other words.
Outcomes
Students will understand the consonant stress both in the front and end
of words.
Process
Day 1
Review the team challenge conversation
Oh, no snow!
Unit 24
Unit 38
Unit 39
This is a 4-part section to test the students ability to determine the sounds. Copy
ONLY section 4 for the student to read out loud.
Option is to have one student say part 1 for the class. Have students write what
they hear. See how correct they are. DO NOT GIVE THEM THE WORDS.
Wait and Gate
Part 1: Recognition:
G sound?
Example: wait
1. gird
2. Way
3. Wail
4. wizard
5. girth
6. Doughy
7. Ogre
8. gobble
QUIZ
___ gobble
Week 11
Week 11
Objective
Students will understand the stress and rhythm to use when a
consonant is in the joined to other words.
Outcomes
Students will understand the consonant stress both in the front and end
of words.
Process
Day 1
View the movie:
How to Link K to a Voiced Consonant
Review Units 40 and 41
Game Link Maze (Photocopy game board)
Day 2
Evening Plans
Day 1
Day 2
Triple Consonant Blend Word Endings -NCH, -TCH, -RCH
Lets get technical!
There are 26 letters in the alphabet.
A E I O U are the vowels (and sometimes Y). The rest are consonants.
The most usual sound of CH by itself in words is chuh:
Examples: Charlie had a chop and the children had chicken and chips.
CH - can sound like kuh in words that have come into English from Greek
Examples: ache, chorus, character
CH - can sound like shuh in words that have come into English from French
Examples: machine chauffeur champagne
Combined with a third consonant in -tch, -nch and -rch, the same thing applies.
Most commonly, the chuh sound is blended with the, t, n, or r but
occasionally the other pronunciation is possible:
Example: architect ( ar keh tect)
Another point is that words ending with -tch, -nch, -rch add -es to make plurals ditches, branches, marches.
See Worksheet The CH Sound for the three sounds of CH.
Fill the gaps with a suitable word from the box above:
1. It made me feel hungry to watch him - - - - - - - - on a big sandwich and I
decided I had to have some - - - - - quickly.
2. In the storm, a heavy - - - - - - fell off the tree, just - - - - - - from where she
was standing.
3. I had a - - - - - he would turn up as soon as food was mentioned.
4. His German is excellent and he speaks quite fluent - - - - - -.
5. The order was given to - - - - - - all lights in case the enemy would discover
them.
6. They came in out of the rain, totally - - - - - - - - and in a foul humour.
7. I like an apple with plenty of - - - - - -.
8. Every time I go to do a job, I find he had pinched my tools and Im short a
screwdriver or a - - - - - -.
9. The police were waiting and arrested him and his - - - - - - - - as soon as they
appeared.
10. 10. The crowd was so angry that the police were afraid they would - - - - them if they could not get them away in time.
B
U
T
N
E
H
B
S
O
H
G
W
A
U
F
E
T
C
H
T
F
C
A
M
O
C
T
H
A
T
C
R
H
T
V
R
D
R
B
C
F
O
A
E
C
O
T
C
H
C
O
T
H
F
S
H
R
B
C
H
F
I
F
I
C
E
T
C
U
R
H
A
A
B
T
K
T
O
R
T
T
E
J
Q
E
C
G
B
O
B
E
A
C
D
K
P
H
S
I
N
C
I
T
C
H
U
I
O
T
R
C
E
S
S
C
R
A
T
C
H
S
T
R
E
T
C
H
T
C
C
R
N
P
C
A
B
C
L
U
T
C
H
E
S
Week 12
Week 12
Objective
Students will understand the stress and rhythm to use when
emphasizing details.
Outcomes
Students will understand the consonant stress both in the front and end
of words.
Process
Students will begin their script writing for the final using related materials.
Day 1
View the movie:
Lesson 7a - THOUGHT GROUPS - English
Review Units 50 and 52
Final test script writing.
Students should plan and write their script to
include thought groups and contrasting
alternatives.
Day 2
Day 1
Day 2
Week 13
Week 13
Objective
Students will understand what is required in the final test in terms
of script and speaking.
Outcomes
Students will write more on their script to include ideas found in the
chapters studied.
Process
Day 1
View the movie:
Lesson 8a - STRESS PATTERNS
Review Units 43 and 46
Students will add elements of this chapter to their
script.
Day 2
Day 1
Day 2
Week 14
Week 14
Objective
Students will focus on the writing and speaking of their script.
Outcomes
Students will understand the rubric and the problems they have in
intonation and communication.
Students will strengthen their understanding though practicing for the final test.
Process
Day 1
View the movie:
Problems with English pronunciation FUNNY
Review their script and practice intonation and
stress for the final.
Day 2
Review their script and practice intonation and
stress for the final.
The final day before the test.
Week 15
Week 15
The Final test
Script - email to professor
Reading of Script
recorded by professor.
Rubric scored by professor
Points 40
Script 10 / 40
Inclusion of all elements Length
Drama 30 / 40
o Balanced roles
o Balanced questions and
responses
o Correct stress and rhythm
o Correct syllabication
o Adequate emotion and action
Extras
Foundation videos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WLHr1_EVtQ 5 techniques to speak any language
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0yGdNEWdn0 How to learn a language in 6 months
Quizzes
http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/learningenglish/quiznet/pdfs/73_stress_patterns.pdf
http://www.eslgold.com/pronunciation/pronunciation_links.html
Pronunciation Dictionary
http://www.embedplus.com/dictionary/how-to-pronounce-words-and-use-them.aspx
About.com
Word stress changes meaning (article)
http://esl.about.com/cs/pronunciation/a/a_wordstress.htm
(stress types)
http://www.eslgold.com/pronunciation/pronunciation_links.html
r and l
http://www.manythings.org/b/e/2415/
Listen & Repeat: 68 Words with R /r/
http://www.manythings.org/b/e/2531/
69 Two-Syllable Words Accented on the First Syllable
http://www.manythings.org/b/e/2725/
72 Two-Syllable Words Accented on the Second Syllable
http://www.manythings.org/b/e/2634/
Pronunciation: 40 Two-syllable Words Ending with /r/
http://www.manythings.org/b/e/2716/
Listen & Repeat: 33 Words with R /r/
http://www.manythings.org/b/e/2509/
Listen & Repeat: 29 Words with R /r/ there, where, care,
http://www.manythings.org/b/e/2588/
Listen & Repeat: 28 Words with R /ar/ are, part, large,
http://www.manythings.org/b/e/2572/
Words with the OW /a/ Diphthong Part 1 49 Words (now, how, wow, )
http://www.manythings.org/b/e/2935/
Words with the OW /a/ Diphthong Part 2 37 Words (plow, bow, brow, )
http://www.manythings.org/b/e/2933/
Listen & Repeat: 60 Words That End With P
http://www.manythings.org/b/e/2547/
114 Words with the /st/ Consonant Cluster
http://www.manythings.org/b/e/3690/
60 Minimal Pairs in 4 Minutes (Listen and Repeat)
http://www.manythings.org/b/e/3518/
Minimal pairs
website for the audio
http://www.rong-chang.com/mjc/pronunciation/
Practice
http://www.howjsay.com/index.php?word=work&submit=Submit
http://www.spokenenglish.org/
Dictation
http://www.dictationsonline.com/
http://www.dictationsonline.com/english/2preintermediate/10gist.html
FONETIKS.org
http://www.fonetiks.org/
chart of sounds with dictation
ship or sheep minimal practice chart
http://www.shiporsheep.com/
American English paragraphs etc
Single vowel sounds
http://www.fonetiks.org/engsou2am.html
the schwa sound (other sounds)
http://www.fonetiks.org/engsou6am.html
http://www.teachingenglish.org.uk/article/teaching-schwa
Stress and intonation
http://www.fonetiks.org/engsou7am.html
voice and voiceless
http://www.fonetiks.org/engsou5am.html
3 vowel sounds
http://www.fonetiks.org/engsou4am.html
2 vowel sounds
(article)
http://www.fonetiks.org/engsou3am.html
final -ed
http://www.teacherweb.com/CA/RoyHerburgerElementary/MrsYuen/pronunciation_ed_esl.pdf
http://www.englishforeveryone.org/PDFs/Pronouncing%20ED%20endings.pdf
literacy tools
ch
http://www.literacytools.ie/pages/actions/viewPdfFile.cfm?pId=185
ph
http://www.literacytools.ie/pages/actions/viewPdfFile.cfm?pId=186
th
http://www.literacytools.ie/pages/actions/viewPdfFile.cfm?pId=187
wh
http://www.literacytools.ie/pages/actions/viewPdfFile.cfm?pId=188
triple consonant
http://www.literacytools.ie/pages/actions/viewPdfFile.cfm?pId=192
One of the best ways to study English is through jokes. Stories can be long and complicated, and by the
time you get to the end, you realize that you missed some crucial element in the very beginning, so the
whole book doesn't make any sense. With a joke, however, you read a couple of lines and either
you get it or you don't.
1.
A guy walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. "What do you call that?", asks the bartender. "I call him
Tiny, because he's my newt!"
2.
A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer, and a mop."
3.
A soccer ball walks into a bar. The bartender kicked him out.
4.
5.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender sets the beer down and says, "For you, no
charge!"
6.
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"
7.
8.
A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and the mushroom
says - "Why not? I'm a fungi."
9.
Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Would you like a beer?" Descartes replies, "I think not",
then disappeared.
19. A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He lifts the dog up and swings him around over his
head by the tail. The bartender says "Hey, man! What are you doing?" He says, "Oh, I'm just looking
around."
Section 2
20. After a Beer Festival in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. Corona's president
sits down and says, "Seor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender takes a bottle from
the shelf and gives it to him. Then Budweiser's president says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me
'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one. Coors' president says, "I'd like the best
beer in the world, the only one made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it. The
guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The other brewery presidents look over at him
and ask, "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies, "Well, if you guys aren't
drinking beer, neither will I."
21. A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "What'll you have?". The guy answers, "A scotch,
please". The bartender hands him the drink, and says "That'll be five dollars", to which he replies "What are
you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this". A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the
conversation, then says to the bartender, "You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which
constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration". The bartender's
not impressed, but says to the guy, "Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don't ever let me catch you in here
again". The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, "What the heck are you doing in here? I
can't believe you've got the audacity to come back!". The guy says "What are you talking about? I've never
been in this place in my life", to which the bartender replies "I'm very sorry, but it's uncanny. You must
have a double." To which the guy replies "Thank you! Make it a scotch."
22. A man goes into a bar with a giraffe, they both get a couple of rounds in. When they get up to leave they're
extremely drunk and the giraffe passes out and falls over. The man opens the door, about to leave by
himself, when the bartender stops him suddenly and says, "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!" The man
turns around and slurs, "Don't be silly, that's not a lion, that's a giraffe!"
23. A piece of rope walks into a bar and the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." The rope goes outside,
ties himself in a knot and frays one end of himself. He walks back into the bar and the bartender says,
"Weren't you just in here?" The rope replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."
24. A man runs into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Give me ten shots of your best whisky." The bartender sets
up the ten glasses. The man starts drinking them as quickly as the bartender serves them. The bartender
asks, "Why are you drinking so fast?" "You'd drink fast too, if you had what I have." The bartender asks,
"What do you have?" "Seventy cents."
25. A man walks out of a bar and meets a policeman. "Hey," the policeman says, "your eyes are bloodshot,
have you been drinking Bloody Mary's?" "Well," the man says, "your eyes are glazed, have you been eating
donuts?"
26. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."
27. A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter, and asks the bartender, "Have you seen my brother?" The
bartender asks, "I don't know, what does he look like?"
28. A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bartender here?"
29. A hamburger walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."
30. A dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm
lookin' fer the man that shot my paw."
31. A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So, why the long face?"
32. A guy walks into a bar, sits down and hears a small voice say, "You look nice today." A few minutes later he
again hears a small voice, "That's a nice shirt." The guy asks the bartender, "Who is that?" The bartender
says, "Those are the peanuts. They're complimentary!"
33. A bear walked into a bar and says, "I'll have a beer......and some of those peanuts." The bartender says,
"Why the big pause?"
34. A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a
drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Steve?"
35. A goldfish walks into a bar and looks at the bartender. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" The
goldfish says, "Water."
36. Shakespeare walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. "I can't serve you." says the bartender.
"You're Bard!"
37. A leprechaun walks into a bar. The bartender serves him and says, "That'll be $2.50." The leprechaun puts
two dollar bills on the bar and starts walking away. The barkeep shouts, "You're a little short!"
38. A man walks into a bar and sits down next to a lady and a dog. The man asks, "Does your dog bite?". The
lady answers, "Never!" The man reaches out to pet the dog and the dog bites him. The man says, "I
thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" The woman replies, "He doesn't. This isn't my dog."
39. A guy walks into a bar and there is a horse behind the bar serving drinks. The guy is just staring at the
horse, when the horse says, "What are you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a horse serving drinks
before?" The guy says, "No, I never thought the parrot would sell the place."
40. A cowboy walks into a bar. Upon leaving, he realizes that someone has painted his horse. The cowboy yells,
"Which one of you painted my horse?" A seven foot tall hulk of a man says, menacingly, "I did." The
cowboy realizes he is in trouble and replies, "Why, thank you - the first coat's dry!"
41. A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, "Hey buddy, can't you read that sign? It says no
dogs allowed! Get that mutt out of here!" The man replies, "No, I can't read the sign - I'm blind, and this is
my seeing eye dog." The bartender is embarrassed and gives the man a beer on the house. Later that day,
the guy is telling his friend about it: "I told him I was blind and I got a free beer!" The friend then takes his
dog into the bar and sits down, and the bartender says, "The sign says no dogs allowed! You'll have to
leave!" The friend says, "Sorry, I can't see the sign because I'm blind, and this is my seeing eye dog." The
bartender replies, "Since when do they give out Chihuahuas as seeing eye dogs?" The man says, "They
gave me a Chihuahua?"
42. A man walked into a bar holding an alligator. He asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?" The
bartender said, "Yes, we do!" "Good," replied the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my
alligator."
1)
25)
2)
26)
3)
27)
28)
29)
30)
31)
32)
33)
34)
35)
36)
37)
38)
39)
4)
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and
worse.
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)
11)
12)
13)
14)
15)
40)
16)
Say break and steak, but bleak and
streak;
41)
17)
42)
18)
43)
19)
44)
20)
45)
21)
22)
23)
24)
46)
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and
grant,
47)
48)
49)
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and
gauge,
74)
75)
76)
77)
78)
79)
80)
50)
51)
52)
53)
54)
55)
56)
81)
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and
clean.
57)
82)
58)
83)
59)
84)
60)
85)
61)
86)
62)
87)
63)
88)
64)
89)
65)
90)
66)
91)
67)
92)
68)
93)
69)
94)
70)
95)
71)
96)
72)
97)
73)
98)
99)
100)
101)
102)
103)
104)
105)
108)
109)
112)
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