M a l e g r a m s _ S e x
Melt her
mind
stimulate the organ
between her ears
Seduction begins above the shoulders,
so her satisfaction may depend on the
attention you pay to her mind. Even
the pinnacle of sex, the orgasm, can
be a cognitive process that’s separate
from erotic or sexual context, says
Barry Komisaruk, Ph.D., coauthor of
The Science of Orgasm. Here are
some brainy ways to arouse her.
1
Write a sexual script
Coauthor an erotic story by text-
messaging episodes to each
other. As you end your episode with a
sexual cliff-hanger, she picks up the
tale. A 2006 study showed that fertile
women looking for casual sex found
men with creative intelligence more
desirable than men with money. So
ditch the primal phrases (“I want you
so bad”) and use your imagination.
And women are tired of typo-ridden
booty calls, says sexologist Yvonne K.
Fulbright, Ph.D. “It’s a novel turn-on
if you can articulate your passion in a
way that engages her.”
Brain effect One study found that
women have more gray matter dedi-
cated to language than men do.
“Anything that plays to her inherent
strengths and puts her in the role of
director is always going to be hot for
her,” Fulbright says.
The key Leave your first message
open-ended, such as “What would you
do if . . .” When you’re alone together
later, play out your script.
2
Watch and learn
Indie or foreign films are often
candid about sex—it’s stealth
porn. The artsy context will nullify her
Foreign flicks:
muy caliente.
for women, foreplay is
everything that happens in the
24 hours preceding sex.
 OCTOBER 2008
inhibitions. See the Independent Film
Channel’s 50 Greatest Sex Scenes in
Cinema at ifc.com. Try 9 Songs or Y Tu
Mamá También.
Brain effect “You need to turn off her
amygdala, the fear and anxiety part of
her brain,” says Fulbright. “A relaxed
mind and body allows her sexual
response to kick in more fluidly.”
Women’s brains quickly respond to
erotically charged images, one study
found. Emotion helps, too. Levels of
oxytocin, the chemical that kindles
trust and bonding, rise in women after
they watch romantic-movie clips with
supportive husbands or boyfriends,
according to University of North
Carolina at Chapel Hill researchers.
The key Don’t be passive. When a
hot scene ends, ask her what she’d
do differently if she were directing,
and volunteer to be the male lead.
3
Solve the sex puzzle
While lounging with the Sunday
paper, propose a race to see who
can finish a puzzle like sudoku first.
Winner gets a sexual favor.
Brain effect Dopamine, one of the
neurotransmitters behind arousal, is
Some brainteasers
might just
give her an idea.
Upgrade
her orgasm
This position could be
her key to satisfaction
Orgasms are better if
they’re reached during
intercourse, according to a
2007 survey in Sexual and
Relationship Therapy. Of
1,256 women surveyed,
those who had achieved
vaginal orgasm were more
satisfied with their sex
lives, mental health, and
personal relationships
than those who had never
had a vaginal orgasm. In
one study, the Coital
Alignment Technique
(CAT) helped women gain
a 56 perent increase in
orgasms during sex. It
allows the base of the
activated by a reward. “Getting her penis to stimulate the cli-
excited in nonsexual ways will translate toris. Its intimacy helps her
to a higher likelihood of sexual arousal,” achieve a stronger orgasm,
says Daniel Amen, M.D., the author faster, says sex therapist
Aaron Pierce, Ph.D.
of Sex on the Brain.
The key There should be plenty of 1. From the mission-
playful touching and caressing so that ary position, shift
by the end you’re both worked up. Nix your pelvis forward
the trash talking and the victory dance, so that the base of
too. A little competition is good, but a
your penis is pressed
against her clitoris.
lot can be a turn-off.
2. Rest on your
4
Set a musical mood elbows. Wrap her
Covertly load a specially chosen legs around your
playlist onto her MP3 player. thighs, so her ankles
Brain effect Certain brain regions fire
rest on your calves.
up before sex, and a study found that 3. As she raises her
similar ones become active if she con- pelvis, you exert firm
nects emotionally to the tunes. “For counterpressure by
women, foreplay is everything that holding your hips
happens in the 24 hours preceding
steady. On the
downward move-
sex,” says Louann Brizendine, M.D.,
ment, propel your
a neuropsychiatrist at the University hips down as she
of California at San Francisco, and the counters with
author of The Female Brain. “Your upward resistance.
goal is to build a context for sex.”
The key Upbeat songs that are har-
Photographs by
monious can activate the pleasure
center of her limbic system, a McGill
University study found. Organize your
XXX XXXXXXX
songs to mimic the stages of arousal, With this technique,
from playful (“Who Let You Go?” by the you can reliably
rattle her world.
Killers) to passionate (“Little of Your
Time” by Maroon 5) to intense
(“Summer Love” by Justin Timberlake).
w w w. M ensH ealth.com