Conscious Communication Handout1

TEACH through Love
Conscious Communication
Lesson One
www.teach-through-love.com
Between stimulus and response there is a

space. In that space lies our freedom and
power to choose our response. In our
response lies our growth and freedom.
- Viktor E. Frankl
List all the

ways in which
your childs
behavior
matched your
wishes.
List all the

ways in which
your childs
behaviors did
not match
your wishes.
TEACH through Love
Lesson One
Observation without evaluation is the

highest form of human intelligence.
~ Krishnamurti
Shift your perspective to
see through a new

non-judgmental and
non-punitive lens.
Discover what prevents you from connecting
with your kids.
Interrupt your triggered responses of blame, shame,
judgment or guilt.
Identify your communication mistakes: Turn them
into GOALS.
Learn to slow
down and center.
TEACH through Love
Lesson One
Shifting Perspectives
#1 Question Most Parents Ask
How do I change
my childs behavior?
Shifting Perspectives
#1 Question Most Parents Ask
How do I change
my childs behavior?
What does my child need?
How can I help my child

in this moment?
Does s/he need skills,
support or connection?
TEACH through Love
Lesson One
Parenting
Relationship
Behavior
Communication
Negative
Behavior
Communication
from a state of
stress, fear or
disconnection.
TEACH through Love
Lesson One
Moves us to action.
Helps us know what we want.
Opportunity to problem-solve.
1. REGULATION
2. RELATIONSHIPS
3. ROUTINES
4. RESPONSIBILITIES
5. RESPECT
My child throws a tantrum

when she doesnt get her way.
She needs help

resetting her system.
My child never listens to

me.
My child is flooded
with emotion.
My children fight all the

time.
They often disagree and

have trouble expressing
themselves.
My child complains and

doesnt stop unless I yell.
She is having
difficulty accepting my
limits.
My child doesnt respect

other people.
She is having trouble

controlling her body.
TEACH through Love
Lesson One
My child does what he

wants.
He needs help with

structure and
supportive limits.
My child whines when I

say no.
Her tone of voice is

expressing her
displeasure.
My child is
disrespectful.
He uses unacceptable
language to express his
anger.
My child doesnt respect

other peoples property.
She needs help

staying inside the
boundaries.
My child bosses other

people around.
He has a need to feel

safe and in control or
to share his ideas.
She just wants to annoy

her older sister.
She enjoys her sisters

attention.
He manipulates you if he
doesnt get his way.
He has difficulty
managing his feelings.
He always says
homework is boring!
He finds the
homework detailed
and tedious
to complete.
She is rude and tells me

I hate you!
She has trouble

expressing her anger.
He does it just to be a
show-off.
He is excited/nervous
to show his friends his
new things.
Name a behavior you find challenging and re-write the challenge

without adding interpretation, judgment, evaluation or your opinion.
TEACH through Love
Lesson One
What Triggered Me
Investigate
Where was I?
What was happening?
(real observable events)
Who was present?

How did I feel?
Where in my body did I
feel it?
What did I really need?
Connect mind, body &
emotions.
Pinpoint a memory
if you can.
TEACH through Love
Lesson One
EFT
Tapping Points
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
1
2
3
4
5
Top of the eye

Side of the eye
Under the eye
Under the nose
Below the lips
On the collar bone
Under the arm
Top of the head
TEACH through Love
Lesson One
My child...
Never does her chores
Name-calls, is verbally abusive
Annoys his/her siblings
Fights with his/her siblings
Hits and acts aggressive
Wont listen
Whines when I say no
Rude
Is mean to others
My real need is for:

HARMONY
ORDER
APPRECIATION
PEACE
TO BE HEARD
KINDNESS
RESPECT
SAFETY
CONSIDERATION
TEACH through Love
Lesson One
My real need is for:
My child...
Never does her chores
HARMONY
Name-calls, is verbally abusive
ORDER
APPRECIATION
Annoys his/her siblings
PEACE
Fights with his/her siblings
TO BE HEARD
Hits and acts aggressive

Wont listen
KINDNESS
RESPECT
Whines when I say no
SAFETY
Rude
CONSIDERATION
Is mean to others
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Reflect
Reveal
Allow
Identify
Create
HEAL
YOURSELF
Explore
Your Past
Envision
Your Future
EMPATHY
RECOGNIZE&
TRANSFORM
Unhealthy
Emotional
Patterns
REFRAME:
Perspective
Expectations
Attitude
Language
TEACH through Love
Lesson One
Mind
Body
FOUR
SHIFTS
Belief
Intention
MY NEEDS MATTER
Which gets more attention: Meeting MY NEEDS or other people's needs?
MY BOUNDARIES
Where and with whom do I need to set stronger boundaries?
MY GOALS
List 1-2 Daily Goals.
List 2-3 Monthly Goals
List One Year Goals
MY BIGGEST CHALLENGE --> MY #1 GOAL

Your biggest challenge can be your #1 Goal.
Rewrite your biggest challenge in the positive to affirm your goal and what you really desire.
TEACH through Love
Lesson One
Goals for My Family

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

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TEACH through Love

Between stimulus and response there is a

List all the

List all the

TEACH through Love

Observation without evaluation is the

Shift your perspective to

see through a new

TEACH through Love

What does my child need?

How can I help my child

TEACH through Love

TEACH through Love

My child throws a tantrum

She needs help

My child never listens to

My children fight all the

They often disagree and

My child complains and

My child doesnt respect

She is having trouble

TEACH through Love

My child does what he

He needs help with

My child whines when I

Her tone of voice is

My child doesnt respect

She needs help

My child bosses other

He has a need to feel

She just wants to annoy

She enjoys her sisters

She is rude and tells me

She has trouble

Name a behavior you find challenging and re-write the challenge

TEACH through Love

Who was present?

TEACH through Love

Top of the eye

TEACH through Love

My real need is for:

TEACH through Love

My real need is for:

Name-calls, is verbally abusive

Annoys his/her siblings

Fights with his/her siblings

Hits and acts aggressive

Whines when I say no

TEACH through Love

List 2-3 Monthly Goals

List One Year Goals

MY BIGGEST CHALLENGE --> MY #1 GOAL

TEACH through Love

Goals for My Family

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