The man who said no to Paradise.

We all know the story of Paradise, the story of how Adam and Eve were banished from Eden
after eating from the Tree of knowledge. The sin of eating from that tree, the Original Sin, was
so grave that it was carried from Adam and Eve in chain from generation to generation. Is
Paradise then with us no longer, inaccessible forevermore? Plato thought that the man who by
philosophical reflection broke the shackles of illusion and escaped the cave of ignorance would
come to see the light; he would apprehend things in their true form. To Plato, the true form of
the good was such that it would always be chosen whenever properly grasped. Could someone
fail to choose Paradise? Certainly not. So perhaps Paradise has not left us; we still have the
idea of the good, however elusive and ephemeral it may appear.

Jacob was walking down the street in summer. The melody his lips whistled penetrated his
attention only as he noticed a sparrow in a tree. It was a song, O Day Full of Grace, sung to
Jacob by his mother when he was a child. The memory of his mother, now far away, elicited a
smile. The song might as well have been called Ode to the sun, Jacob thought; that was what
it meant to him the perfect symbol of true Goodness: always there whether we could see it
or not, realize it or not. To see true goodness, Jacob maintained, we had to reflect. He agreed
with Plato on the power of reflection, and that people who failed to reflect were deluded. In
fact most people had no time for reflection, like shallow souls in the deep pool of the world.
People would do well to reflect more, reflected Jacob as he walked down the street in summer.
A feeling of tranquility rose in Jacobs chest. It was a feeling he had become familiar with in the
last months, ever since he met Sarah and things had started to go the right way for him. She
was for him the perfect woman, a woman that reflected and lived in the light of that reflection
or was it the reflection that was expressed through her life, like shadows cast onto walls by a
light?

When he met Sarah their crossing paths had seemed a pure coincidence. And yet, in retrospect
he could not help play with the thought that this was, in the familiar phrase, meant to be.
Only he who works gets the bread he mumbled. They were Kierkegaards words
Kierkegaard, who needed to find a place for perfect justice but, realizing it was nowhere to be
found in the outward world, resigned it to the world of spirit. He was no believer, but he liked
the idea all the same. His toil had earned him Sarah, just as her toil had earned her Jacob.

Whether it was chance or toil that had brought Sarah and Jacob together, it was arguably
chance that rent them apart. She had invited him to a new restaurant called Isaacs to
celebrate their half-year anniversary; but Sarah also had something else on her mind. I am
pregnant she looked at him. Jacob was dumbfounded at first and thoughts started to race in
his head: how could that happen? I have taken adequate precautions, we havent had
unprotected sex even a single time. It is absurd. Are you sure? were the first words he
managed to get across his lips. The words seemed strange and forced, as though someone
else had chosen them for him. Im sure. Its been a month since I was at the doctors.
She put her hand on his. There was nothing to panic about. He panicked anyway. Well, uhm..
we must go back to the doctor, you must have an abortion- Jacob became increasingly
distressed -I-I dont understand this, how could this happen, I mean, its impossible that this
could happen. Sarah reassured him again, and he collected himself. The onslaught continued.
I want to keep the baby. In real life, such random misfortune comes with no warning; there is
no silence before the storm. Such was the thinking of Jacob when Sarah said those words.
Something shattered, like fallen porcelain. Chance had pushed the porcelain, causing it to fall.
You cant do that, why would you do that? his tone of voice was aggressive. Why did you not
tell me? You should have told me. Are you an idiot? The last words slipped out of his mouth by
accident. Sarahs reaction was instant. You know what? Just stop. I dont want to argue over
this- she looked down at her stomach; she already seemed familiar with the thought of having

a baby, as though shed always been pregnant. He erupted: we cant have a baby, why do you
want a baby? Dont be ridiculous. People started looking at Jacob as he stood up from his
chair. This is too much. Sarah stood up and left. Everyone now looked at the table, and at her
walking away.
Deciding whether to have a baby or not is a matter for serious reflection. Jacob could not
comprehend how Sarah could make this decision without collective reflection on the matter. He
took a few days to carefully consider what he would say before calling Sarah. You cant decide
to have a baby without discussion. You have no right to make this choice without us both
reflecting on the matter, you- she interrupted him. This is not up for discussion, Jacob. For me
it was never about reflection. It was always about faith. He had no strength with which to
muster a response. He hung up the phone.
The autumn wind swept withered leaves across the street Jacob was walking. Sad though it
was, the fact was that without Sarah, his life was gray. Perhaps having a baby is the right thing
to do after all, he thought. I could start a family with Sarah. To live in goodness again, with
grace, I long for that I must talk to her again, but talk to her in the right way. Not on the
phone. Not at her place. It has to be a coincidence, like when we met. Then she will see that it
is meant to be, and everything will be alright. I will make everything alright.
Imitating chance, Jacob hung around places Sarah went, and sure enough he bumped into her.
She stopped and talked to him, seemingly untouched by their conversation on the phone. It
was as though the shadows of the past did not dare touch her. Sarah, Ive thought about it
and I believe in us, I believe in having a baby. Sarah started crying, an unrestrained childish
cry that made her appear pitiful. No words came out of her mouth; to Jacob it was all the
same. He knew what every one of those tears meant, and he would have given up reflecting
ever again in exchange for the courage to wipe them of her cheek and tell her he would make
it alright. Instead he walked away from her. He had said no to Paradise and could no longer go
back.