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What Makes a Leader?

Daniel Goleman, who first bought term emotional intelligence, said that one of truly
effective leaders is distinguished by a high degree of emotional intelligence, which includes
self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skill. The first of those three
components are related to self-management skills. The last two, empathy and social skill, are
concern a persons ability to manage relationship with others. Emotional intelligence proved
to be twice as important as ratio of technical skills and IQ for jobs at all levels as ingredients
of excellent performance, especially as a leader. EI not merely from genetic component of
human being but it can also be learned. EI is born largely in brains limbic system which
learns best through motivation, extended practice and feedback. Those can lead to lasting
results. It is also important to emphasize to build EI with sincere desire and concerted effort.
Understanding Communication in One-to-One Relationships
Most people who work in organization are in relationship with wide range of people. It needs
interpersonal effectiveness and communication to minimize problems of communication such
as misunderstanding. Communication can be called effective communication when a
communication does obtain the intended outcomes. In addition, it can be called good
communication when both parties understood a concept which wish to be conveyed. A
misunderstanding happened when we cannot understand without getting a better sense of the
difference of each person experiences. In order to anticipate and deal with that, an awareness
of the other persons assumptions, perceptions, and feelings must be increased and it must be
practiced in everyday interactions. The ability to recognize when important and disabling
differences exist in assumptions is a skill people seldom cultivate in their relationship with
others. Trying to imagine the reality of other person and recognizing that our own point of
view is likely to be different from other persons, as well as trying to hear the other persons
concern is also the step to improve communication.
Building Effective One-on-One Work Relationships
More advance in our career not only need technical competencies but our success will also
depend more and more on our human competencies our ability to do the important
interpersonal work of developing effective work relationship with key individuals. We can
distinguish our self as a manager from others is because of our ability to develop and
maintain a strong network relationship. It needs our basic thinking skills as key role to build
effective working relationship which is critical for getting our job done. The first step is
identifying those with whom we are interdependent and who is dependent on us. It would be
helpful if it drawn as a map of dependencies and better to overestimate rather than
underestimate that. Effective managers must know how to build relationship, based on mutual
expectations, trust, and influence, with the complex network of people with whom they are
interdependent. Second is identifying differentiation perspective to know potential barriers to
establishing mutually beneficial relationship. The third is periodically asses the quality of our
relationship. Basic thinking skills also become important to manage a conflict by disciplined
reflection and balancing advocacy and inquiry which have the consequence more insightful
and creative understanding and mutual learning that comes from embracing multiple
perspective and expertise.