Life

Work

Story

Pre-course reading
NB for day one of this course you need to bring a
treasured object from childhood or another time in your
life, and any old rolls of wallpaper that you no longer
need

Polly Baynes
Tel:07963164454
pollybaynes@yahoo.co.uk
updated Feb 2011

A life story book is an attempt to give back to the child in care his or her own
past life through the gathering and discussion of the facts and people in that
life and to help him or her to accept it and go forward into the future with
this knowledge Ryan and Walker 1985

Explicit memory is everything we know that we know. Implicit memory is

written into us, it is body memory; it is what makes us who we are. Pre-verbal
experience in the forms of sensory experiences and fragmentary images is held
in our implicit memory, and certain overwhelming traumatic experiences pass
straight into implicit memory.
One of the tasks of life story work can be to help to make connections between
the chronological events of the childs life, and their lived experience of those
events. To put flesh on the bones of memory, and to help the child to begin to
develop a story that makes sense.
Bowlby stated that a child is most likely to resolve issues of loss if they have: a
reasonably secure relationship with the parents before the loss; the reassuring
and comforting presence of carers in a continuing relationship after the loss;
permission to participate in family grieving rituals. Most children who become
looked after experience multiple losses. Very often none of these protective
factors are in place, and it may not be possible to change this. However, the
fourth factor he identified was the provision of prompt and accurate
information about what has happened, and encouragement to ask
questions that receive accurate answers. This is something we can provide
for all looked after children, through timely life story work.

Life Story Work

REASONS FOR WORK
Child has many moves/changes of carer.
Child is being removed from family/returning home/being
adopted/changing placement
Child is beginning or ceasing contact with family members
Traumatic/complex family history
AIMS
To help the child understand why their birth parents could not
care for them temporarily or permanently
To give the child sense of personal/family/cultural history.
To build a sense of racial/ethnic/national identity
To help the child understand the reason for moves at both a
feeling and intellectual level.
To hold memories for the child when previous carers are no
longer present.
To remember good things the birth family provided.
To give the child the chance to ask questions/express feelings.
To help the child to share their history with new carers.
To help the child understand who the people in their life are.
To reduce tugs of loyalty between birth and adopted families.
To help the child feel accepted warts and all.
To give the child access to information to which she/he has a
right, in a meaningful way.
To help the child develop a cover story.
To show child s/he has a value as a person.

METHODS
Making a life story book (with or for the child) that tells the
story of how they came to live with their current carers and
provides information about their birth family and reasons for
decisions as well as hopes and dreams for the future and a
celebration of their life with their current family
Drawing, talking and playing
Visiting previous houses and carers, schools, parks etc. with or
for the child
Using photographs, birth certificates, family support worker
records etc
Recording important events, peoples memories, the story of
the childs birth, Christening or other religious ceremonies
Working with parents, foster-carers, teachers, child-minders
etc. Asking them to write letters, record memories
Creative use of video and computer resources
Time-lines, road maps
Memory boxes, family trees
Recording the childs unique identity and achievements,
making a record of life in placement, taking day-to-day photos,
making dvds, recording the childs favourite foods, toys, TV
programme, best friend etc.
Completing a baby book, a handprint and footprint cast, keeping
their baby teeth, a lock of hair, hospital wristband, newspaper
from the day they were born
Collecting ordinary mementoes like
swimming certificates, current photos etc.

holiday

postcards,

 Keeping copies of educational and medical records, school

reports, paintings and drawings done by the child, school books
All this documentation, along with other objects of significancetheir first babygro, special duvet cover, favourite toys, presents their
parents have sent but have now outgrown, school uniform etc- can
form a Treasure Basket to travel with the child. Many adults who
grew up in care are completely without concrete evidence of their
own histories, not least because angry children often break or lose
everything they own. They need carers to keep these things special
until they can do it themselves
Photocopy everything in case the child tears it up on a bad day

Make a small separate album of photos without any story, so that

the child can show friends pictures of their birth family without
disclosing personal details
Letters for later life can provide a more adult version of events to
be opened by the child at a later stage
Get contributions from as many different family
members/friends/professionals as you can, so the story is told by
many voices
Unless there are clear child protection reasons not to do so,
include full names and professional contact details for everyone
who has been involved in the work with the family.
Give full names, dates of birth and addresses of family members
only when safe to do so Facebook has made it easy for these
details to be used to make contact without the knowledge of
adopters
Keep talking about birth family members on a day to day basis

LIMITATIONS

Life story work is never done, it needs to be returned to and

updated as child matures.
Very young children may need work done for them rather than
with them.
If the time is not right, you may need to do the work for the
child so that the story is there when they are ready
Some parents will not co-operate or have no photos, cannot
remember.
Adopters/family members/foster carers are key in sharing the
work in future if they cannot accept the childs story, they
may struggle to do this
CONFIDENTIALITY
It is the childs book. They may choose to share it with
everyone or no one. Making a separate photo album allows
the child to show people their family without disclosing the
story.
It may be appropriate to involve other significant adults,( for
example current carers, family support workers) in all or part
of the work. Life Story books can help with introductions to
adopters.
Be clear from the start that you cannot keep secrets about
abuse
Let the child know that you will talk to their carers regularly
about the impact of the work. Ask them to let you know
about anything that might affect your sessions with the child.

YOU WILL NEED

TIME
Up to three hours per week for possibly a year or more for a
comprehensive piece of start to finish life story work for a child with a
complex history BUT chunks of life story are useful too-it is a process,
not an event. Talking about why a child has been removed in the car on
the way to an emergency placement is an absolutely essential part of the
work. Coming back the next day with that explanation written down, as a
simple story, is important too.
Children should leave every placement with photos and memories. Life
story techniques can be incorporated throughout work with children:
every visit is an opportunity to help the childs understanding.
The most important time to provide explanations and collect family
photos is BEFORE the child becomes looked after, as part of your
preparation

COMMITMENT
You and your agency need to give this work priority.
Planned life story work requires you to become a reliable, consistent
person in this childs life. Cancelled or irregular appointments reinforce
what the child has already learnt-adults cannot be trusted, and the child
has no value.
Whatever your role, you can ensure that you provide a child in transition
with a relevant explanation as events unfold and whenever possible back
this up in writing/drawing. This could mean sending a child a letter after
you remove them from home when you are on duty even if you never
see them again
SPACE
Ideally, a quiet, child-friendly place (but not too distracting), where you
wont be interrupted. However, talking to a child after a difficult contact
about the impact of their parents alcohol use is just as important.
MONEY
Costs include travel and photographs; a digital camera, or video camera
are very useful. But dont allow lack of sophisticated equipment to put

you off a pen and paper, your time and attention are the most useful
tools. Charities in Africa are doing life story work with children whose
parents are dying of AIDS on a budget of 1.50 per child
SUPERVISION
This work is emotionally demanding therefore you must have support
ACCESS TO INFORMATION
Ideally for a complete life story book, you need to read the family file in
detail; it is essential to obtain a very detailed chronology of the relevant
events and people in the childs life. If you are not the social worker, you
will need their full support.

Ground rules

Be reliable ~if you say youll bring jammy dodgers, bring

jammy dodgers.

Be flexible ~there is no right way to do life story work.

Adapt your techniques to the childs developmental stage,
interests and abilities. Life story books can be written entirely
by, for or with children. Life story work can be done on the
computer, on video, through play or by composing music.
Follow the child. It doesnt have to be neat ~this is not
schoolwork or an art class.
Be open to hear the unique experience of the child you are
working with. What the child found painful, joyful or
confusing may be very different to what you would suppose.
Feelings about contact may be particularly complex.
Check out with the child what they think is the reason that they
were removed from home, and why they have made other
moves. Provide an honest explanation of the reasons that they
cannot live at home, however painful. Use words and ideas
that this child is familiar with, and check they have
understood. It is often helpful to use play, art and stories to
support this part of the work.
Acknowledge areas where you cannot agree what happened,
or whose responsibility it was. Make clear your view that
adults are responsible for the care and safety of children, and
that this child deserved to be loved, cared for and safe. Dont
forget that all children have two parents, who are both
responsible for their care and safety.
Celebrate the life of this child ~no life story book should
solely record, neglect, abuse and separation. Whatever birth
parents have done, seek out the good things they gave this
child brown eyes, cuddles or lovely spaghetti bolognaise.
Record the childs achievements and talents, as well as their
hopes and dreams for the future.

 Be clear the book is a work in progress give permission for

the child to add to it and decorate it
Life story work is never finished ~children need to return to
and re-evaluate difficult events as they progress
developmentally and at important transitions.
Make sure all the adults involved with the child have an
agreed script when talking to the child about forthcoming
moves/court hearings etc.
Give clear and consistent titles to everyone involved, tummy
mummy /Mummy Lisa/keeping family/middle family etc.
The child also needs help to develop simple answers to
questions about why they dont live with their birth family~ a
cover story for school etc.
Proceed at the childs pace. If the child is not ready to do the
work, then respect this.
Liase with the other adults who are involved with this child.
Be honest about confidentiality, your role, and for how long
youll come. Being reliable in making six appointments is
better than failing to attend for a year.
Keep the boundaries ~time, space, materials and safety are
your responsibility.
Get appropriate supervision, time support and funding from
your agency.
Look after yourself ~we all have areas of work that are too
painful for us to do.
If you are off sick or need to cancel a visit, try and
communicate directly with the child~ a postcard will do!

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Life Story Work

Information Gathering
You can get swamped - some useful tools:
CHRONOLOGY
1986 Dad left
1987 Mum evicted
1987 Danny born

Tom 3
Tom 4
Tom 4 1/2

This helps to understand the possible impact of events on the child at that
age.
MOVE MAPS
Changed school Mum died Anne moved
92 May
92 June
92 Aug

Accommodated
92 Sept.

This helps to see how much change they have had to deal with.
Eco maps and genograms are also useful.

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An Integrated Model of Life Story Work

Children at risk of Take lots of photos
becoming
looked Support family celebrations
after
Ensure your recordings give detailed description of children
Use framework assessment to gather family history and ask
questions like how did you choose her name? Tell me about
the day he was born This will tell you a lot about the parent
child relationship as well as being useful if you need to make
a life story book later
Children who are Work with birth parents and foster carers to give child a
about to become consistent explanation for why they are moving
looked after
Use calendars to help child understand introductions
Encourage parents to allow child to take photos/toys/bedding
Provide child with photos and other information about foster
carers
After placement
Continue to seek out photos/toys/familiar objects
Encourage foster carers to talk about home
Use contact as a chance to take photos and reinforce
explanations about why they are not living at home
Involve schools/nurseries in developing a shared script for
children
Start a life story book with an immediate explanation
Use statutory visits to answer questions, continue to reinforce
explanations.
Use recording to capture the child each time you visit, and
record visits to parents in detail. Keep asking parents for
memories about the child, their birth, their infancy and their
own family history as part of your assessment.
Keep all the clothes the child arrived in, take lots of photos,
keep school reports etc
Identify who the important people are for this child family,
neighbours, and professionals.

As long term plans Check how life story work is progressing at every review. Is
develop
every body clear who is doing what? Include work with the
child, gathering memories and creating a written story.
Begin to gather information from files, birth family, previous
carers
Continue to work with the child to help them understand what
has happened and also how future plans will be agreed
explain about the court or other assessments.
Ask each significant adult to record memories and
observations about this child.
Go back to birth family if they have refused to help in the

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past, try grandparents, neighbours, older siblings. Consider a

different worker approaching the birth family.
Use statutory visits to reinforce explanations, give children
information about what is happening.
You may need to start planned work at this point, perhaps
introducing a specific worker.
Ensure the foster carer is fully involved in providing
explanations for the child, and in gathering up memories.
Use calendars to support a child with moves. Play and replay
transitions.
Ask adopters to provide photos and information for
introductions. Help the child to draw up a list of questions
they want to ask the new family. Remember that some
adoptive families have one parent or same-sex parents.
Emphasise adoption is a process, not an instant result. Dont
make promises you cant keep (you will really like your new
family), acknowledge the childs ambivalence and anxiety.
When child moves Ensure long-term carers have all the information they need to
into permanency
keep on telling the child their story. This includes parents
whose children return to their care.
Finish life story book to date, and include details of adopters
Emphasise the childs future with this family next
Christmas, when they go to secondary school, when they get
married etc
Ensure adopters are happy with and understand the purpose of
the book.
Prepare letters for later life.
Write permanence report bearing in mind that the child may
read it one day.
Use child appreciation days to gather information.
Ask everyone that has worked with the child to write farewell
letters, recording memories.
Take lots of photos of good-bye contacts, farewell parties.
Ensure the file clearly indicates where copies of the life story
book/photos etc are held.
Support birth parents to write farewell letters, choose special
gifts, and write letters for the child when they are older.
Use reviews to ensure that adopters have information and
work has been completed as far as possible.
For children who are not ready to engage with the work ensure
that all available information has been collected and a story
written ready for when they do want to do the work.
Make sure children have photos of previous carers as well as
birth families, and take as many familiar possessions with
them as possible
Social workers need to plan goodbyes, and write down their
personal memories of working with that child. Contact
supervisors, family support workers, teachers and therapists
need to do the same. Dont forget farewells to school friends

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and neighbours.
Long-term

Ensure adopters can access support and advice to carry on life

story work.
Provide further direct work with children via post adoption
support.
Continue to update children on their birth families if
appropriate (eg new siblings born) and share available
information with social workers holding siblings cases.
Support young people seeking access to their files.
Use contact in a planned way for children who are seeking
specific answers.
Support birth parents with letter box contact, and provide safe
storage for copies of life story work, photos and letters.

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Structuring a life story book

There is no one right way to do this the book should reflect the unique
story and interests of the child. Young children may need pages to be
laminated. For older children you can use a large ring binder, which
allows pages to be added as the child gets older or removed if the child
does not want to think about some parts of their life. Dividers and use of
different fonts or paper colour help the child navigate the book and make
choices about what information they feel comfortable looking at or
sharing on any particular day. You may want to include some or all of the
following:
About me now: focus on the child, their talents and interests this is a
good way into the work
My Family: focus on the childs permanent family ensuring that the book
supports the placement and is easier for adopters or foster carers to read
with the child. This can be added later if the child is not yet placed.
My birth family: photos and descriptions of key birth family members
parents, siblings, grandparents. If the child is going to be adopted, use
first names for birth parents, Sid and Zara not Mum and Dad.
How my birth parents met: photos of birth parents together/getting
married, stories about what they liked about each other Zara thought Sid
was really handsome with lovely eyes
When I was born: photos of birth mother pregnant, birth family with
child newborn, and stories about how birth family felt when the child
arrived, how their name was chosen, their hopes for the childs future
Sid chose the name May for you because that was his grannys name.
Tara thought you were beautiful and couldnt stop cuddling you
When I was little: positive photos and information about the childs
development and family memories. Information about things that went
wrong and how they affected the child. There were good times: Sid used
to take you to the park and Zara would sing songs at bedtime. But there
were some bad times too. Sid and Zara had lots of arguments and
sometimes they forgot to change your nappy or make your tea. You must
have been scared and hungry and uncomfortable
What happened next: brief account of the child protection concerns that
led to removal lots of people were worried because you were often cold
and hungry and left to cry in your cot. You were little; you needed
someone to look after you. The social worker asked the judge if she could
find a family to look after you for a little while. The judge said yes
Use short sentences, keep it jargon free and if possible link it to direct
work you have done with the child. Break it up with illustrations (try

15

Google images). Include information about how people tried to help the
birth parents Sandy, the family support worker, came round in the
mornings to try and help Zara, but Zara would not answer the door. Sid
shouted GO AWAY.
If a significant event triggered removal, tell the story in a specific section
with a clear title eg The day Sam got hurt.
The day your brother Sam was hurt started off like an ordinary day.
Zara went to the shops and Sid was getting the breakfast. Sam was crying
and crying. Sid got angry and shouted at Sam and threw him on the bed.
This must have been scary for you. You tried to kiss Sam better when you
saw his poorly face. Then the ambulance came.
Specific issues some explanations about particular issues that have
affected the childs life such as drugs/alcohol/prison/mental illness
My foster family: memories and photos of time with foster family
What the judge decided: brief explanation of the reasons for the final
decision. Use illustrations to show the court process and make it clear that
the judge listened to what everyone had to say, including birth parents. If
there was a fact finding hearing, explain that the judge had to try and
decide who was telling the truth. Sid said he never meant to hurt Sam.
The doctor told the judge that Sam had lots of bruises when he came to
hospital and it looked like a grown up had hurt him badly more than
once. The judge decided that Sid had hurt Sam lots of times.
Make sure you include positive messages from birth parents Zara was
very sad, but she told the judge that she wanted you to have a new family
so that you could have a good life.
Moving to my family: tell the story of the move into permanent
placement or back home, acknowledge that the child was scared and sad
as well as excited and emphasise that they are practising and learning
how to be a family. Include good wishes from previous carers. Dont
promise that everything will be fine. This section could include any
introductory materials prepared by the adopters.
The future: include details of holidays and celebrations planned, leave
pages blank for new photos, include the child and the familys wishes and
dreams for their future together
Brief details of who made the book and wishes for the childs future,
details of how to contact you
Back section: to be added when the child is older and include letters for
later life from professionals and family members, more detailed
information about decisions that were made and birth family, contact
details for professionals who are willing to be approached, information
about services available to adopted children/specific sources of advice
about key issues (mental health or addiction for example).

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Life Story Work the voices of looked after young people

17

Unpublished research by Rachel Willis, 2008

MA Student at Cardiff University
There is a scarcity of research into the effectiveness of life story work. This
qualitative study of a small number of looked after young people aged over 11, found
that a wide variety of approaches had been used. This ranged from the completion of
pre-printed workbooks to unstructured use of personal journals. Some of the work
was completed alongside practitioners, other young people did much of the life story
work themselves between sessions.
Young people reported mixed emotions about their past experiences and about
completing the work. The life storybooks seemed to act as a trigger to feelings and
memories. Young people particularly valued the inclusion of other peoples memories
about them (what they were like as a baby for example). Memories seemed to be at
the heart of life story work.
The issue of audience (who would see the book) was important to the young people.
For some it was an entirely private document, others had produced the work with a
practitioner and anticipated sharing it with others, including their own children one
day.
Young people in this study identified identity as an important theme within life story
work. Appearance and the way it changed over time was part of this, as young people
used the books to trace their own physical and emotional development. Belongings
were important to the young people and also the possession of memories. Young
people used the work to explore their relationships and how they fitted in to their
family and home. Issues about why young people had become looked after were
touched upon, but the researcher felt this may have been too sensitive a subject for
discussion in this context. The research also explored themes of transition and place.
Themes of old and new were a common for the young people, who explored what
this meant in their lives. Old things were often seen as having to be left behind.
The researcher highlights the need for further research in this area.

Life Story Work

BOOKS AND ARTICLES FOR
PRACTITIONERS
Life Story Work
The Childs Own Story, Life story
work with traumatised children
The New Life Work Model
Life Storybooks for Adopted Children
Life Story Books for People with
Learning Disabilities
Life Story Work: reflections on the
experience by looked after young
people

Ryan and Walker, BAAF

Richard Rose , Terry Philpott
Edith A Nicholls, RHP
Rees
Helen Hewitt, BILD
Willis, R and Holland, S in Adoption
and Fostering, 2009, volume 33,
number 4

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Life Story Work a biographical

account or identity therapy?
Adoption,
Resilience
and
the
Importance of Stories: the making of a
film about teenage adoptees
Untold Stories: a discussion of life
story work
Helping
Children
Cope
with
Separation and Loss
The
Childs
Journey
through
Placement
Direct Work: social work with
children and young people in care
Face to Face with Children

James in Seen and Heard June 2007,

vol 17, issue2
Fitzharding
in
Adoption
and
Fostering Spring 2008, vol 32
Baynes in Adoption and Fostering
Summer 2008, vol 32
Jewett, BAAF
Fahlberg, BAAF
Luckock and Lefevre, BAAF

Winnicot, in Working with Children,

BAAF
Developing Reflective Practice
Ed Helen Martyn
Windows to Our Children
Oaklander, Real People Press
Preparing Children for Permanence
Romaine, Turley and Tuckey
BAAF
The Experience of Adoption (2); The Becket, C, Castle, J, Croothues, C,
association between communicative Hawkins, A, Sonuga-Barke, E,
openness and self-esteem in adoption Colvert, E, Krenppner, J, Stevens, S
and Rutter, M in Adoption and
Fostering, 2008, Volume 32 number
1
NOVELS
Skating to Antarctica
Jenny Diski
The Memory Box
Margaret Forster
So Many Ways to Begin
Jon McGregor
RESOURCES FOR CHILDREN
Bruces Story, now also a CD ROM
Talking Pictures/Moving Pictures
The Anti-Colouring Book
The
Drawing
Out
Feelings
Series(divorce, illness, death, trauma,
addiction, re-marriage)
Talking
About
Domestic
Abuse/Talking to my Mum

MacLiver and Thom, BAAF

BAAF
ELC
Heegaard
Available from Smallwood Publishing

Humphreys, Thiara, Skamballis and

Mullender
Jessica Kingsley
My Life and Me
BAAF
All About Mummies and Daddies (a Available direct from Fosterplus
simple book about different kinds of
family)
Life Story Work: what it is and what it BAAF

19

means
Also available, leaflets explaining
fostering,
adoption,
special
guardianship, kinship care, contact
and what happens in court
My Life Story CD-ROM
STORIES
Six Diner Sid (having several
families)
Tracy Beaker (waiting for a
family)/The Illustrated Mum (mental
illness)/Dustbin
Baby(abandonment)/Bed
and
Breakfast
Star(moving)/Diamond
Girls (emotional abuse)/Lola Rose
(domestic violence)/Vicky Angel
(death) and practically anything else
by this author
Mints Story (adoption breakdown)

Betts and Ahmad, BAAF

Igna Moore
Jacqueline Wilson

From Working with Children after

Disruption, BAAF
Owl Babies (missing your mum)
Waddell and Benson
Peepo/The Baby Book
Janet and Alan Ahlberg
Not Now Bernard (getting angry)
David McKee
The Tiger Who Came to Tea (being so Judith Kerr
needy you use everything up)
Where the Wild Things Are (rage, and Maurice Sendak
mastering it)
The Wise Mouse (mental illness)
Virginia Ironside
Jades Story (parental depression, for Helena Pielichaty
older children)
Tell Me No Lies (loss of parents, Malorie Blackman
terrible secrets for older children)
Matilda/The Witches
Roald Dahl writes stories of
wonderfully horrible adults
Nothing (recovering from lack of Mick Inkpen
care)
Goodbye Mog (death)
Judith Kerr
Spark Learns to Fly (domestic
violence)
The Nutmeg Series (adoption, Foxon, BAAF
letterbox contact, new sibling,
therapy)
For Every Child: the rights of the Red Fox and Unicef
child in words and pictures
Badgers Parting Gifts (bereavement) Varley

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Mousie (a picture book about abuse)

Rouf
Feeling Safe, Belonging Doesnt Byrne and Chambers, BAAF
Mean Forgetting, Hoping for the Best,
Living with a New Family (series
dealing with separation from birth
family)
Maybe Another Day, Missing Mum. PARC
Tell Me Again What Happens, Getting
to Know Sandra (series dealing with
serious parental illness)

For older children you can often find films and TV programmes that explore
relevant themes for example Coronation Streets Shelley and Charlie
storyline is excellent for domestic violence, and you can use lyrics from
whatever music they like as a starting point
The Little Princess, ET, Goodnight Mr Tom, Stuart Little all tell stories of
growing up in new families.

Rights4me is an excellent website for young people and professionals

*************************************************************

Many adult novels explore the themes of memory and searching for the past:
Everyone tells storiesand all storytellers are liars- not to be trusted. They
have an excessive need to make sense of experience, and so things get twisted
and shaped to suit. We fumble about in the fog, and patterns come to us eerily
like distant foghorns over the water
Erdal quoted in Things Left Unsaid by Decca Aitkenhead
Guardian Weekend Oct 29 2005

The real story, he knew, was more complicated than anything he could
gather together in a pair of photo albums and a scrapbook The whole
story would take a lifetime to tell. But what he had would be a start, he
thought, a way to begin. What he had would be enough to at least say,
here, these are a few of the things that have happened to me while you
werent there. This is a small part of how its been. You dont need to

21

guess any longer, you dont need to wonder or dream. This is a small part
of the truth. John McGregor 2007 So Many Ways to Begin

My time was short, my story long, its always them that writes the
songOyster Band

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