Voice 1 Geoffrey Commonsizerinski

'Tis four in the morning on a Monday. Was it too much to ask for
an extra hour of sleep every day? Apparently so, and no gas masks
for any of us workers in these inhospitable Augean Stables.
Outrageous!
Today, I was fortunate enough to receive the honour of African
lion duty. Immediately following their awakening, I dutifully opened
the new shipment of Lionel's Mystery Meat and went straight to
work. With nothing but gloves to protect me from that repugnant
amalgamation of rotten sewage and pulverized liver, I carefully
extracted each of the slabs of grime and put the odoriferous filth
into fine steel bowls. As I walked into the lion habitat, I felt their
omnipresent glares on my shoulders, weighing me down five tonnes.
I slowly put the bowls down in the middle of the cage and sprint out
the exit for the habitat. A cub hurls a ball at me hoping that I will trip
and die.
We really ought to get rid of this malevolent beasts before they
eradicate the entire human population.
Life stinks.

Voice 2 Every day, as perfect as a blossoming mayflower is for us lion.

Not a single day are we awoken by the clamour of stampeding
wildebeest herds as in the African Savanna. Not a day are we

awoken by the stench of rotting carcasses or deposited feces. It's all

thanks to those two-legged fleshies that every day for us smells like
a fresh summer night's breeze. Hallelujah!
Today, like any other day, those fleshies payed homage to the
jolliest and merriest species of the world by giving us a fresh batch of
cage-less gazelle meat. Today, a deliciously new fleshie gave us its
offerings. While he took out the crimson blocks of deliciousness, all of
our mouths started to water and our drool immediately inundated the
ground but I quickly remembered my table manners and waited
patiently for the fleshie to serve us our breakfast. Unfortunately, one
of our young, Dekisugi, forgot that fleshies are terribly mortified by
the sight of a charging lion and tried to show his affection with the
fleshie by trying to play with him. Despite this scare, the fleshie still
left us the promised goods!
This life is at acme.

Voice 3
Dear staff of Lion Villa Zoo,
Despite concern among our board of zoo-tenders, I have decided
that, though by a close margin, that we do not require gas masks to
work in this sweatshop zoo. Based on past experience, though, I will
provide mouth-covering masks, so feel free to drop by the main office
to receive one.
On the topic of the recent lion incident involving a fellow zoo-

tender, I have determined what we most do in order for us to maintain

structural integrity of the lion habitat. Based on various experiments,
I have found that Lionel's Mystery Meat is simply too delicious.
Therefore, the only way to teach these creatures discipline and selfcontrol is to only feed them the less tasty alternative, Tionel's
Mysterious Meat. But I confirm the fact that we will not get rid of the
African Lions
Nobi Nobita
Director of Zoo Opeations
---------------------------------------------Life is Work
Efficiency---------------------------------------------

Voice 4
Your are an eccentric individual who recently
purchased a season pass to the Lion Villa Zoo . You
come here every day to adore the different types of
lions there, the majestic roars and the ferocious
manes of every single one of them . You savor the
fragrant smell of lion fun as you hear your brother
Kentaro call you, Hey you! Come on! Their feeding
the Panthera Leo!
You instantly feel ecstatic at the thought of

being able to capture this moment . Without

hesitation, you race race towards the African Lion
habitat, camera in hand . Ready to take a picture,
you see the zookeeper place bowlfuls of imitation
Gazella Capricornis (Gazelle) meat on the ground .
The man leaves briskly but you notice that he also
makes a gesture denoting his love for the lions ,
causing one of the cubs to throw a ball to him .
Snap! This picture is priceless! , you exclaim , I
better show it to Kentaro! You wish that you could
stay here until the end of eternity.
Lions are life!