Golden Mantras from Chanakya

Posted By KiranKumar Roy

"A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and honest
people are screwed first."
"Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous."
"The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. It will
destroy you."
"There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship
without self-interests. This is a bitter truth."
"Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I
doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you
think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead."
"As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it."
"The world's biggest power is the youth and beauty of a woman."
"Education is the best friend. An educated person is respected everywhere.
Education beats the beauty and the youth."
"Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind
person."
"Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five
years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your
grown up children are your bX-Mozilla-Status ???
"A man is great by deeds, not by birth."
"God is not present in idols. Your feelings are your god. The soul is your
temple."
"The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the
goodness of a person spreads in all direction."
"Once you start a working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't
abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest."

Quote of the Day

All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward.
Ellen Glasgow

Where there is a will there is a way- a true story

Posted By KiranKumar Roy

Where there is a will there is a way

Sujata Burla's life was shattered when on a pilgrimage to Shirdi, she met with a
serious accident in the year 2001.
She survived but life dealt a cruel blow when the doctors and physiotherapists
treating her told her she could not walk for the rest of her life. The accident had
turned her into a paraplegic. It meant Sujata was immobile below the shoulders at
the early age 21.
Before the accident, Sujata had many friends but they all ran away after the
accident. They were all false friends who only used to go where there would be
money, success and happiness. She felt alone and depressed.
In another tragedy, her father expired in March 2004. Not one to be easily cowed
down by her circumstances, she wanted to be independent financially, physically
and mentally.
She soon realized that she needed to be financially independent first . She started
working with her sister, who is a fashion designer, and then started a textile
workshop on her own but the workers took advantage of her physical disability and
she lost money.
Sujata realized that if at all she had to succeed in life she would have to do
something for which she did not have to depend on anybody
Then she hit upon the idea of working in the stock market. She learnt typing and
working on a computer and laptop. She spent another year learning the nitty gritty
of stock market operations .
Now she trades like a pro and earns anywhere between Rs 200,000 and Rs 250,000
every month
Financial independence is what she strove for and that is exactly what she has got
through sheer determination and discipline.
This shows that human will power and determination has no limit the only thing
required is passion, persistence and hard work.

Management Lesson
Posted By KiranKumar Roy

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off
along the route. No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few
got off, and things went generally well.
At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight,built like a
wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big
John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.
Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well,
he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it. The
next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a show of
refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next.
This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was
taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body
building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff.
By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really
good about himself. So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the
bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!"
The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not?"
With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass."
Management Lesson: "Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working
hard to solve one."

Extra Marital Affairs

Posted By KiranKumar Roy

The 1st Affair:

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell
asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub
them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex
all afternoon."
"You lying bastard!
You've been playing golf!"
The 2nd Affair:
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having
a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two
beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"
The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!"
The 3th Affair:
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front
door.
"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."
"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got
one for us, too."

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a
sandwich and a beer.
"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the
Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."
The 4th Affair:
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."
"One Cent?" the man thought.
He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle
of wine?"
"A nickel," the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."
The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replied,
"The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."
The 5th Affair:
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to," his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend,
her best friend, and your mother!"
"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."

*********

A TOUCHING MORAL
Posted By KiranKumar Roy

A long time ago, there was a huge apple tree. A little boy loved to come and play
around it everyday. He climbed to the tree-top, ate the apples, took a nap under
the shadow...He loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him. Time went
by... the little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree every
day. One day, the boy came back to the tree and he looked sad.
"Come and play with me," the tree asked the boy. "I am no longer a kid, I don't
play around trees anymore." The boy replied, "I want toys. I need money to buy
them." "Sorry, but I don't have money... but you can pick all my apples and sell
them. So, you will have money." The boy was so excited. He grabbed all the apples
on the tree and left happily. The boy never came back after he picked the apples.
The tree was sad. One day, the boy returned and the tree was so excited.
"Come and play with me" the tree said. "I don't have time to play. I have to work
for my family. We need a house for shelter. Can you help me?" "Sorry, but I don't
have a house. But you can chop off my branches to build your house." So the boy
cut all the branches of the tree and left happily. The tree was glad to see him
happy but the boy never came back since then. The tree was again lonely and sad.
One hot summer day, the boy returned and the tree was delighted. "Come and play
with me!" the tree said. "I am sad and getting old. I want to go sailing to relax
myself. Can you give me a boat?" "Use my truck to build your boat. You can sail far
away and be happy." So the boy cut the tree trunk to make a boat. He went sailing
and never showed up for a long time.
Finally, the boy returned after he left for so many years. "Sorry, my boy. But I don't
have anything for you any more. "No more apples for you... "the tree said. "I don't
have teeth to bite" the boy replied. "No more truck for you to climb on" "I am too
old for that now" the boy said. "I really can't give you anything ... the only thing
left is my dying roots" the tree said with tears. "I don't need much now, just a
place to rest. I am tired after all these years." The boy replied. "Good! Old tree
roots is the best place to lean on and rest. Come, Come sit down with me and
rest." The boy sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with tears.......
This is a story of everyone. The tree is our parent. When we were young, we loved
to play with Mom and Dad...When we grown up, we left them... only came to
them when we need something or when we are in trouble. No matter what,
parents will always be there and give everything they could to make you happy.

You may think the boy is cruel to the tree but that's how all of us are treating our
parent.

Chicken Story Joke

Posted By KiranKumar Roy

A farmer rears twenty-five young hens and one old cock. As he feels that the old
cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one young cock
from the market.
Old cock to Young cock : "Welcome to join me, we will work together towards
productivity.
Young cock : What you mean? As far as I know, you are old and should be retired.
Old cock : Young boy, there are twenty-five hens here, can't I help you with some?
Young cock : No! Not even one, all of them will be mine.
Old cock : In this case, I shall challenge you to a competition and if I win you shall
allow me to have one hen and if I lose you will have all. Young cock : O.K. What
kind of competition?
Old cock: 50 meter run. From here to that tree. But due to my age, I hope you
allow me to start off the first 10 meters.
Young cock : No problem ! We will compete tomorrow morning.
Confidently, the following morning, the Young cock allows the Old cock to start off
and when the Old cock crosses the 10 meters mark the Young cock chases him with
all his might.
Soon enough, he was behind the Old cock back in a matter of seconds.
Suddenly, Bang! ...... before he could overtake the old cock, he was shot dead by
the farmer, who cursed, "Hell ! This is the fifth GAY chicken I've bought this
week !"

I Know This Lawyers

Posted By KiranKumar Roy

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial-a
grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you
know me?"

She responded, "Yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a
young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat
on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You
think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will
amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room
and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster,
too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real
disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the
shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."
At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both
counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of
you asks her if she knows me, you'll be in jail within 3 minutes!"

It's Appraisal Time !

Posted By KiranKumar Roy

On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading
to the station.
At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no
one around.
With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate
it.
There was blood all over the body which was lying face down.
It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this
body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age.
Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was
fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and
was surprised to see the phrase "appraisal letter" on it.
With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to
see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body's neck
and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software
engineer.

I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where
typed in flying colors.
Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the
appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!!
My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal
details were printed.... My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard
inside my mind saying "no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death"...
As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him for the
sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he
would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his
hand.
I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few
seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.
While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee's name
in the appraisal letter... Hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy's name is same
as mine, including the initials.
This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down
and found myself fainted for a second.
The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same
built, same name.... It was me who was dead there!!!!!!! ! While I was lost in that
shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders. My heart stopped completely, I
could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind...... ... Splash!!!
Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to
see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, "wake up
man? Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready".

Behavior by signature
Posted By KiranKumar Roy

Your behavior By Signing Style

SINGLE UNDERLINE BELOW THE SIGN
These persons are very confident and are good personalities. They are a little bit
selfish but believe in "Happiness of human life".

***********
TWO DOTS BELOW THE SIGN
These persons are considered to be Romantic, can easily change their fiances as
if they change their clothes. They prefer beauty in other persons & they
themselves try to look beautiful. They easily attract others.
***********
SINGLE DOT BELOW THE SIGN
These persons are more inclined towards classical arts, simple & are very cool. If
you loose faith with them, then these persons will never look back at you. Hence
its always better to be careful with these people.
***********
NO UNDERLINES OR DOTS BELOW THE SIGN
These persons enjoy their life in their own way, never pay attention to others
views. These are considered to be good natured but are selfish too.
***********
RANDOM SIGN, NO SIMILARITY BETWEEN NAME & SIGN
These persons try to be very smart, hide each & every matter, never say anything
in straight forward manner, never pay attention to the oth er person of what he is
talking of.
***********
RANDOM SIGN, SIMILARITY BETWEEN NAME & SIGN
These persons are considered to be intelligent but never think. These people
change their ideas & views as fast as the wind changes its direction of flow. They
never think whether that particular thing is right or wrong. You can win them just
by flattering them.
***********
SIGN IN PRINTED LETTERS
These persons are very kind to us, have a good heart, selfless, are ready to
sacrifice their life for the sake of their near & dear. But these seems to think a lot
and may get angry very soon.
***********
WRITING COMPLETE NAME AS THEIR SIGN

These persons are very kind hearted, can adjust themselves to any environment &
to the person they are talking. These persons are very firm on their views & posses
a lot of will power.
-Unknown
- Might be true, Just sharing coz' i found true in my case :)

Influence of Anesthesia
Posted By KiranKumar Roy

In a recovery room a man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery.
His wife was sitting by his side holding his hand. His eyelids just opened for a few
seconds.
He looked at his wife as if he was returning from out of body experience, hallowed
by bright white light. With a broken smile and in a groggy voice he mumbled at his
wife, "You are so beautiful."
Then he fell asleep and started snoring again waking up other recovering room
surgery patients and annoying nurses.
His wife had never seen him so ugly and yet so romantic. So she suppressed all her
disgust of environment, held his hand tighter and chose to stuck there for a while.
After a while the man opens his eyelids again but wider and for longer time. He
loves the comfort of his wife and says, "You are cute!"
The wife was disgusted, threw his hand on the bed and demanded an explanation,
It was beautiful, last time and how it is 'cute' this time. What happened to my
beauty?
The man answered, Honey, I am recovering to reality from the influence of
Anesthesia.

Rules for Flag Hoisting ( INDIA )

Posted By KiranKumar Roy

Code of Conduct
Being a national symbol it is respected by every Indian . There are certain dos and
don'ts laid down for common people regarding Indian flag
* When the National Flag is raised the saffron color band should be at the top.

* No flag or emblem should be placed either above the National Flag or to its right.
* All other flags to be placed to the left of the National Flag if they are hung in a
line.
* When the National Flag is carried in a procession or parade, it shall be on the
marching right or in front of the center of the line, if there is a line of other flags.
* Normally the National Flag should be flown over important government buildings
like the Rashtrapati Bhawan, the Parliament House, the Supreme Court of India,
the High Courts, the Secretariats, the Commissioners' office etc.
* The National Flag or any imitation of it must not be used for purpose of trade,
business, or profession.
* The National Flag should always be taken down in the evening at sunset.
According to flag code of India citizens of India did not had the right to hoist the
Indian flag except for some important days like Republic day, Independence day
and Mahatma Gandhi's birthday. A renowned industrialist Naveen Jindal challenged
this in the court as when he hoisted the flag on his office building he was told not
to do so as it may be taken as a breach of code of Indian flag. Then he lodged a
PIL (Public Interest Litigation) in the court now the decision of the court is pending
in this regard but a temporary permission has been granted to Indian citizens to
hoist the flag on any day but in a respectable manner.
Some Interesting Facts
* The Indian flag was hoisted on the highest mountain peak of the world, Mount
Everest on 29th May 1953.
* Madam Bhikaji Rustom Cama was the first person to hoist Indian flag on foreign
soil on 22nd August 1907 in Stuttgrat, Germany.
* The Indian National Flag flew to space in 1984 when Wing Commander Rakesh
Sharma went to the space. The flag was attached as a medallion on the space suit
of Rakesh Sharma..

What an Awesome Reply

Posted By KiranKumar Roy

It was a hot meeting at the office conference hall. All the people from the
department had been called. The VP was looking much tensed.

The mood was so bad. My friend asked me -"Hey, what is this meeting all about? I
told - May be they will decide on when to have the next meeting. People around
smiled at each other.
Then the VP started talking. It was about the recent attrition rate that was so
high. Around 10 people had put in their papers. All experienced guys. It was
quarter end and so work was huge. If we do not complete the work on time, we
need to be paying heavy penalty said the VP. The VP turned to the manager and
told "Hey - take how much ever resources you want. Recruit or take them from
other departments. But complete the work in another 25 days. Take people and
complete it man.
To this the sweet manager replied "Sir! Give me one wife and nine months and I
shall show you results. Don't give me nine wives and one month. I cannot do
anything." Everyone looked at him blank. The VP was not prepared for this answer.
We looked at the manager and thought "What an Awesome Reply man!"

I have nothing left

A man once telephoned Norman Vincent Peale. He was despondent and told the
reverend that he had nothing left to live for. Norman Vincent Peale invited the
man over to his office. "Everything is gone, hopeless," the man told him. "I'm
living in deepest darkness. In fact, I've lost heart for living altogether."
Norman Vincent Peale smiled sympathetically.
"Let's take a look at your situation," he said calmly. On a sheet of paper he drew
a vertical line down the middle. He suggested that they list on the left side the
things the man had lost, and on the right, the things he had left. "You won't need
that column on the right side," said the man sadly. "I have nothing left, period."
Norman Vincent Peale asked, "When did your wife leave you?"
"What do you mean? She hasn't left me. My wife loves me!"
"That's great!" said Norman Vincent Peale enthusiastically. "Then that will be
number one in the right-hand column - Wife hasn't left. Now, when were your
children jailed?"

"That's silly. My children aren't in jail!"

"Good! That's number two in the right-hand column - Children not in jail," said
Norman Vincent Peale, jotting it down.
After a few more questions in the same vein, the man finally got the point and
smiled in spite of himself. "Funny, how things change when you think of them that
way," he said.
Motivational Quote: "Be sure that you appreciate everything you've got; and be
thankful for the little things in life that mean a lot."
Inspirational Quote: "It is not what you have but it is how you think has a
profound effect on your life."

Difference between appraisal and resignation

Posted By KiranKumar Roy

A newly joined trainee engineer asks his boss "what is the meaning of appraisal?"
Boss: "Do you know the meaning of resignation? "
Trainee: "Yes I do"
Boss: "So let me make you understand what a appraisal is by comparing it with
resignation"
Comparison study : Appraisal and Resignation
**********
In appraisal meeting they will speak only about your weakness, errors and
failures.
In resignation meeting they will speak only about your strengths, past
achievements and success.
**********
In appraisal you may need to cry and beg for even 10% hike.
In resignation you can easily demand (or get even without asking) more than 5060% hike.

**********
During appraisal, they will deny promotion saying you didn't meet the expectation,
you don't have leadership qualities, and you had several drawbacks in our
objective/goal.
During resignation, they will say you are the core member of team; you are the
vision of the company how can you go, you have to take the project in shoulder
and lead your juniors to success.
**********
There is 90% chance for not getting any significant incentives after appraisal.
There is 90% chance of getting immediate hike after you put the resignation.
**********
Trainee: "Yes boss enough, now I understood my future. For an appraisal I will have
to resign ... !!!"

Who said car names don't have meaning ?

Posted By KiranKumar Roy

BMW: Brings Me Women.

FIAT: Failure in Italian Automotive Technology.
FORD: For Only Rough Drivers.
HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive. ...
VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object.
PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything.
KIA: Kills In Accidents
OPEL: Old People Enjoying Life
TOYOTA: The One You Only Trust, Always.
GOLF/GTI: Girls Only Love Fun / Get Them Inside
HONDA: Hanged Over, Now Driving Away.

Salary Increase
Posted By KiranKumar Roy

One day an employee sends a letter to his boss to increase his salary!!!
Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be
under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport
including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon
Your$ $incerely,
Norman $oh
The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:
Dear NOrman,
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed.
You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the
United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential
elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,
Manager

Learn To Admit Your Mistakes

Posted By KiranKumar Roy

One reason Hitler lost World War II was that he did not fully understand the
situation. Bearers of bad news were punished. Soon no one dared tell him the
truth. Not knowing the truth, he could not act appropriately.
Many of us are individually guilty of the same error. We do not like to admit to
ourselves our mistakes, errors, shortcomings, or ever admit we have been in the
wrong. And because we will not see the truth, we cannot act appropriately.
Someone has said that it is a good exercise to daily admit one painful fact about
ourselves to ourselves.

Look for and seek out true information concerning yourself, your problems, other
people, or situation, whether it is good news or bad news.
Adopt the motto It doesnt matter whos right, but whats right.
Admit your mistakes and errors but dont cry over them. Correct them and go
forward. In dealing with other people try to see the situation from their point of
view as well as your own

Releasing The Cows

Posted By KiranKumar Roy

One day the Buddha was sitting in the wood with thirty or forty monks. They
an excellent lunch and they were enjoying the company of each other. There
a farmer passing by and the farmer was very unhappy. He asked the Buddha
the monks whether they had seen his cows passing by. The Buddha said they
not
seen
any
cows
passing

had
was
and
had
by.

The farmer said, "Monks, I'm so unhappy. I have twelve cows and I don't know why
they all ran away. I have also a few acres of a sesame seed plantation and the
insects have eaten up everything. I suffer so much I think I am going to kill myself.
The Buddha said, "My friend, we have not seen any cows passing by here. You
might
like
to
look
for
them
in
the
other
direction."
So the farmer thanked him and ran away, and the Buddha turned to his monks and
said, "My dear friends, you are the happiest people in the world. You don't have
any cows to lose. If you have too many cows to take care of, you will be very busy.
"That is why, in order to be happy, you have to learn the art of cow releasing
(laughter). You release the cows one by one. In the beginning you thought that
those cows were essential to your happiness, and you tried to get more and more
cows. But now you realize that cows are not really conditions for your happiness;
they
constitute
an
obstacle
for
your
happiness.
That is why you are determined to release your cows."