The Sleep School - 1.

5 hour plan
Prepared for Duc Nguyen by Dr. Guy Meadows (PhD)

Dr. Guy Meadows (PhD)

The Sleep School
28 Bristol Gardens
London
W9 2JQ
t: 07789 070 031
e: guy@thesleepschool.org
w: www.thesleepschool.org

Copyright 2015 The Sleep School

www.thesleepschool.org





Welcome,
This booklet is designed to guide you through your 1.5 hour plan so that you may slowly
and safely learn how to achieve good quality, natural, non drug based sleep once more.
Whilst insomnia may typically start because of a single event or period of time in your
life, it is your reaction to it now that keeps it fuelled. The more you struggle with it, the
more wakeful you become and the less energy you have to live your life. This plan aims
to increase your willingness to experience it and therefore promote sleepiness and
boost your energy for living.
Improving your sleep does not happen overnight and normally requires continued effort
on your part. At some points during the plan it may feel like you are making no progress
or even going backwards. During these times I ask you to stick with it and continue to
act in the most helpful way towards your sleep, as this will turn the poor nights into a
learning experience that will eventually free you from your insomnia.
Recovery from insomnia is built on repeated experiences of discovering that the
symptoms no longer matter. When enough set backs bring enough such experiences,
the feeling of symptoms no longer mattering comes more quickly, is more forceful, and
the impact of the old scary memories become weaker and weaker until it is but an echo
of former suffering. As fear gradually goes, relaxation and peace will come but it all
takes time and belief.
With this in mind I ask that you follow the suggested recommendations as closely as
possible for a minimum of one month to ensure that you get maximum benefit from the
programme and allow the changes that you make to slowly take effect. Above all start to
use all your energy to live your life, rather than struggle with your sleep. If you have any
questions about any part of the programme please do not hesitate to get in touch.
Wishing you the best of sleep,

Dr. Guy Meadows (PhD)

The Sleep School

Copyright 2015 The Sleep School

www.thesleepschool.org

Personal Action Plan

Your personal action plan is a list of potential factors that have been selected to enable
you to improve your relationship with sleep. They are divided into five areas including
sleep, awareness, lifestyle, environment and values. Each area is self explanatory and
whilst some of the suggestions can be done immediately, others will take time to
implement and practice. It is important to remember that this approach is not a quick fix,
but rather a gentle process that allows natural sleep to emerge over time. Over the next
few weeks and months take time to work through each item and continue practicing all
of the recommended exercises. For more information on all of the factors below and
when to start implementing the various exercises please read the entire booklet below.
Sleep Guidelines - The sleep exercises detailed below include specific information
relating to your current sleeping situation, as well as important general sleep education.
All of the recommendations are designed to be introduced in a slow and gentle fashion.
Please be aware that deciding to change long standing sleep habits can at first feel
quite daunting and disruptive to ones current sleep pattern. The key is to find your own
pace and slowly implement all of the suggested changes over the coming weeks and
months.
1. Read and follow the sleep school guidelines every day. Remember that the more
you struggle to control your insomnia the more you fuel it. By lessening your
struggle and coming to terms with the fact that some nights your body will just not
want to sleep, you are choosing to allow you body too sleep naturally again and
no longer getting in its way. Use your time and energy to engage in actions that
take you closer to what you value in life, rather than further away. Accepting that
this approach is not a quick fix and trusting in your bodys ability to sleep is the
key to fully recovering from your insomnia.
2. Like most other conditions, some people are at a greater risk from insomnia than
others. Risks factors include being a worrier, having a family history, being
female, having a genetic tendency to stay up late or wake up early (e.g. being an
owl or a lark), being full of beans (e.g. hyper personality), and finally increasing
age (e.g. >55 years old). As discussed you describe yourself as being a strong
Owl, which naturally moves you towards having difficulty falling to sleep and
then experiencing difficulties getting up. To counteract this you need to keep your
evenings as quiet and dark as possible. Doing so will help to inform your brain
that it is ok to fall to sleep and wake up earlier. In the morning it would be good to
get lots of light onto your skin and be as active as possible. Buying a light therapy
light could also be another option. I recommend the Lumie Zip. As discussed you
describe yourself as being a worrier. This means that you have a tendency to
over think and so keep the waking center in your brain stimulated in the night.
The mindfulness and defusion exercises described later will help you to separate
yourself from them and so prevent you from amplifying them further.
Copyright 2015 The Sleep School
www.thesleepschool.org

3. Additional insomnia causes. In some instances insomnia can be being caused or

worsened by additional medical factors unbeknown to the individual such as
anemia, hormone or vitamin imbalances, allergies, viral infections or as a side
effect from medication. Having a routine blood test from your Doctor can be a
helpful way of ruling out any such issues.
4. Keep a healthy and regular sleep wake cycle. Good sleepers will typically go to
bed and get up at roughly the same time four or five nights per week and go to
bed and get up a bit later two - three nights per week. A small bit of variation
(30mins) will not disturb your sleep wake cycle and if anything make it more
adaptable in the long term. Keeping it regular in this way helps to keep the body
clock on time and improve sleep quality. Aim to keep to a sleep wake cycle of
12am / 7-8am. Be aware of keeping an irregular sleeping pattern such as
constantly changing your sleep and wake times or trying to catch up during the
day as this confuses the clock and weakens the drive to sleep at night.
5. If you feel that you would benefit from a 15 - 20 minute power nap a few times a
week this is fine. Even if you are not sleeping taking time out just to lie still can
help to recharge batteries and lessen any night time anxiety. Avoid napping for
longer than 20 - 30mins and always have them before 3pm.
6. The evening is a time for slowing down. Simple acts such as switching off your
phone, stopping working or checking emails all help to instruct your brain that
sleep is on its way. Aim to set a cut off time such as 9pm from when these
activities stop and you engage in more quiet time such as watching TV, listening
to the radio, reading or chatting etc.
7. Pottering around for about 30 minutes before going to bed is a healthy way to
prepare for sleep rather than moving straight from the TV or computer. This is not
rocket science and will not guarantee you a good night and should never be used
in that way. What it does do is simply allow you to slow down and create some
separation between your day and your night. A normal sleeper will use this time
to prepare for the next day, brush their teeth and put on their bedclothes. If they
have time they might read a little, but nothing serious and just because they
enjoy it and not to get them to sleep or avoid their thoughts. Once they are ready
they will turn out the light and allow sleep to come.
8. If you find yourself awake in bed remember that you always have a choice to how
you react to your insomnia. You can choose to fight it, avoid it, try to get rid of it
or lie there resigned to it, all of which will just keep you stuck with it. Alternatively
you can accept that at this moment in time your body does not want to sleep
(because it has learnt to keep you awake). In doing so you can observe your
reaction to being awake and choose to respond skillfully in the moment by
practicing your mindful breathing, observing your surroundings, or simply
enjoying the comfort of your bed. The main focus is to practice being in bed,
remembering that you still get a lot of rest and recovery from just lying awake and
Copyright 2015 The Sleep School
www.thesleepschool.org

being still. However if you do feel overly anxious and need to have a break then
sit on the side of the bed rather than leaving the bedroom altogether.
9. In the morning get out of bed as close to your desired time as possible and get
light (natural or artificial) onto the skin, have a shower / go for a walk to tell your
body clock that it is morning. However if it is the weekend and you want to lie in
bed awake, read the newspapers or have breakfast, then please do so as this
will not affect your sleep. The only thing to avoid is getting into the habit of lying
in bed every day trying to catch up on lost sleep as this confuses the body clock.
10. Start to notice the difference between everyday sleep disturbing events such as
traveling, illness or Uni/life stress and an actual sleep disorder such as chronic
insomnia. When you suffer or have suffered from insomnia it is very easy to fall
into the sabotaging trap whereby you think that every sleep disturbance will result
in the return of poor sleep. Learn to look at disturbances in an objective manner
and resist the urge to struggle against them.
Awareness Guidelines - The awareness exercises detailed below require gentle
practice everyday for them to be effective. Do them once and they will have no effect
what so ever. Commit to practicing them for a few minutes everyday and your
awareness of the present moment and your ability to respond skillfully to poor sleep and
life stress will improve. These exercises on designed to be ongoing, irrespective of
whether you are sleeping well or not. Ideally the bulk of your practice should be
performed during the daytime, with gentle night time practice occurring intermittently in
response to wakefulness or night time stress.
Mindfulness Exercises
11. Start to notice the difference between your Thinking Mind and your Observing
Mind. Make time everyday to come out of your mind and into your body and your
environment. Do this by taking 20 30 seconds several times a day to notice
your senses (e.g. what you can hear, feel, smell, see and taste) at that moment
in time. Set yourself a challenge of noticing three of each sense at a time. If your
mind wanders off onto a thought gently thank it and return back to your
observing.
12. Notice the difference between describing and evaluating. Notice that when you
describe or observe you are simply listing the raw facts as they appear in reality.
In doing so you are being objective and non judgment and therefore lack any
emotional attachment. In contrast, when you evaluate you are giving your
opinion, being subjective or adding judgment to something and therefore are no
longer based in reality. For example, my heart is beating fast could be an
objective description, whereas, I think I am going to have a heart attack is an
unhelpful subjective evaluation not based in reality. Start to notice how your
judgmental tendencies can fuel wakefulness in the middle of the night and
choose instead to adopt a more descriptive and objective view of your poor
sleep.
Copyright 2015 The Sleep School
5
www.thesleepschool.org

13. Perform mindful breathing exercise for 3 minutes 3 times per day. Pay attention
to the movement of your breath (or any other part of your body such as your
eyes, heart, muscles etc). Simply describe in your mind what you notice moment
by moment such as I can feel the movement of my chest as I breathe or the air
rushing in and out of my nose. If your mind wanders off, which it will, gently bring
it back to your breath. The aim is to be aware of wandering and be able to
choose to return your mind back to the present moment, rather than trying to
remain focused on one thing. If you find yourself in bed with a racing mind
practice for a few minutes to ground yourself back to the present moment. Being
mindful is not designed to get you to sleep or relax you, but rather to help you
notice your thoughts and let go of them.
14. Perform mindful daily chores such as brushing your teeth every day and follow
the mindful living guidelines e.g. when possible do just one thing at a time and
focus all of your awareness onto that one thing (see additional information).
15. Remember that scientific research shows that 10 minutes of mindfulness practice
per day for eight weeks can create a significant reduction in the volume of the
worry center of your brain and increase in the rational thinking and calm center of
your brain.
Cognitive Defusion Exercises
16. Start noticing all your unhelpful thoughts related to sleep and life that occur
automatically in the night and day such as

What am I going to do in the future?

How am I going to transfer?
I need to fall to sleep
I will do badly in my exams
How much better would my life be if I could sleep better?
Im going to have a bad day tomorrow
Ill fail my degrees

Start recording your Top 10 Unhelpful Thoughts (see below) to familiarize

yourself with them in a friendly way rather than fighting against them and fueling
them. Being mindfully aware of your thoughts is the first step to responding
skillfully to them and letting go of your insomnia.
17. Start to notice all of your thoughts that pop into your head and begin to step back
from them and see them for what they are..just thoughts. Practice using the
various defusion techniques to help you with this process such as prefixing your
thoughts with the descriptive sentence I am having the thought that.. in front
of every unhelpful thought that pops into your head. Try singing the thoughts that
pop into your head to the tune of Happy Birthday or Jingle bells or say them in
the voice of a funny cartoon character such as Donald Duck or Mickey Mouse as
Copyright 2015 The Sleep School
www.thesleepschool.org

this will help you to realise that they are not the literal truth and break the strong
associations that you have formed with them.
18. Start to name and greet your thoughts when they arrive to help distance them
from you such as

Hello, Bad Day, Failure, Problem Solving or What if thoughts or Thank

you mind, I thought you guys would show up.

After all of these distancing exercises just allow the thought to pass by taking
your attention to something else (such as your breath). If or when the thought
pops back in simply repeat the process as many times as you can.
19. Start to mindfully acknowledge your thoughts as they pop into your head by
asking yourself a helpful question (e.g. Did this thought just pop into my head?
or Is this an old story and have I heard it before? or Does this thought help me
take effective action?). Hopefully by asking yourself these questions you will be
able to look at your unhelpful thoughts in a more rational way and start to let
them go without buying into every one. Pick three helpful questions from the list
below and write them on a piece of paper and carry them about your person all
the time. Then when you notice unhelpful thoughts popping into your head
remind yourself of the questions to help you stand back from them. Remember
that a thought is just a thought and that you always have a choice of how you
wish to respond to them.
20. Notice your uncomfortable emotions (Frustration, Anxiety, Anger, Stress) and
your reactions to them. For example if your response is to get rid of them
because you do not like how they make you feel you may be inadvertently
strengthening them and increasing their future frequency. This action is typically
born out of fear, which activates the survival mode of your brain telling it to
remember the thing you so desperately want to get rid of. Emotions are just a
flood of chemicals rushing through our body and it is only us who label them as
good or bad. Imagine they are like the ocean in that they go up and down and we
have no control over them, other than simply riding with them. So the next time
you experience uncomfortable emotions avoid trying to get rid of them and
instead sit them for a little while. Observe them in an objective manner and
describe how they rise and then fall and how they actually do not hurt you even
though they may feel uncomfortable.
21. Avoid trying to change or overly struggling with the discomfort associated with
your insomnia such as feelings of tiredness, as this only tends to only make it
worse. Instead choose to simply observe the feeling without reacting to it and
accept that whilst you dont like it being there it is ok and it cant hurt you.
Describe every sensation that you experience as it arises in a non-judgmental
fashion and as if you were an impartial witness to the whole event (e.g. In this
moment I am experiencing the following emotions, physical sensations and
Copyright 2015 The Sleep School
www.thesleepschool.org

urgesetc.). Remember to do this with unwanted night time and daytime

sensations. For example, objectively describing daytime tiredness helps to
prevent unnecessary amplification of the symptoms, allowing you to get on with
your day. If you notice your mind beginning to judge your experience and
potentially inflame the discomfort, simply thank it for these thoughts and then
gently come back to the describing mode. If you want you can also make space
for the sensations in your mind rather than trying to tie them down or get rid of
them, almost as if you are making them a smaller part of a bigger picture. Use
this approach to sit with your unhelpful urges such as the need to do something
to fix your insomnia such as take a pill or get out of bed. Rather than buying into
it, use your new noticing and welcoming tools to watch the urge rise up and then
crash like a wave.
Lifestyle Guidelines - The lifestyle changes detailed below are things that are within
your control and so can be modified as quickly as you wish.
22. Notice unhelpful behavioral patterns that you perform in order to cope with your
insomnia, which could inadvertently be part of the problem. These include
playing on your phone or constantly tossing and turning. Remember your
reaction to your insomnia determines your insomnia. The more you buy into it,
fight it or try to avoid it, the more your fear it and the greater power it has over
you. In addition the more you try to fix it by searching for a solution the more you
keep yourself attached to it. Realizing this enables you to start letting go of
struggling with it. It wont stop the automatic reactions occurring but it will reduce
the amount, which you engage with them and prevent you from strengthening
them yet further. Choosing to solely observe what is going on in your mind and
body and accept them in a friendly and gently manner is one of the most
powerful non-doing actions that you can take in times of stress.
23. It is perfectly normal to go to the toilet once per night. However, when you
become an insomniac there is a tendency to get into the habit of going multiple
times. This typically occurs because of the diuretic effect of anxiety, coupled with
the arrival of unhelpful thoughts such as I should go to the toilet now otherwise it
will disturb my sleep later. Unfortunately buying into such thoughts and urges
simply perpetuates further toilet trips leading to further disturbed sleep and
anxiety. To break the cycle aim to watch and welcome all of the thoughts and
urges that show up, rather than buying into them.
24. Always eat a healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner (even if just a small amount) as
mealtimes act as a vital marker to your body clock and keep it on time.
25. Avoid clock watching and continuously calculating how much time you have left
to sleep as this can promote feelings of anxiety and consequently increased
wakefulness. As a temporary measure and if needed hide the clock under the
bed or out of sight and reach. However realise that it is your reaction to the clock
that is the problem and not the clock itself. Observe your reaction to looking at
the time and mindfully choose to respond in a way that does not promote further
Copyright 2015 The Sleep School
www.thesleepschool.org

wakefulness. Remember you cant change the time and fighting against it will
only push the chance of sleep further away.
26. Notice yourself beating yourself up due to poor sleep. Poor sleep is a habit and
beating yourself up because of it only helps to strengthen it. So when you have a
bad night and notice yourself giving yourself a hard time, choose instead to give
yourself a break. Remember to start letting go of your insomnia rather than trying
to control it by approaching it with an attitude of playfulness, curiosity and
interest.
Environmental Guidelines - The environmental changes detailed below are things that
are within your control and so can be modified as quickly as you wish.
No changes required.
Values Guidelines - Committing to your values or that which is important to you
requires daily action. Every day commit to making small actions that take you closer to
what is important to you in life, whilst living with your insomnia.
27. Be aware of changing your life to cope with your insomnia. Every day commit to
small actions that take you closer to living by your values such as being in a
loving relationship, spending time with your family, socializing with your friends,
doing activities you enjoy, performing the best you can at University and keeping
healthy by exercising regularly and eating well. Performing such positive
behaviours is a habit, whereby the more you do, the more you want to do. The
aim is to use your energy towards that which is important to you in life, rather
than using it to struggle with sleep and other life stresses. Remember each
moment is a new moment that can be enjoyed in the present, rather than been
caught up in the past or constantly living life for the future.
28. Valued Living Diary. Aim to keep a valued living diary whereby you log all of the
small actions that you perform everyday that move you towards living a valued
life (e.g. met up with a friend, went to the gym, did some mindfulness practice
etc).
29. Starting the plan can always be challenging because the sudden increased
awareness can make you see everything that you might have been avoiding or
trying to fight against for some time. Whilst things may appear initially worse, the
suffering is not mindless since your actions are no longer fueling your insomnia.
Mindful suffering is different in that you are non-judgmentally observing
everything that goes on in your mind and body moment by moment. Whether it is
unhelpful thoughts or unwanted emotion you allow them all in as if they were old
friends and practice letting go of them by either returning back to your breath or
focusing on simple sensory observations like the feel of your pillow on your face.
This gentle and curious act of observing your fears and then 'letting go' of them
sends a powerful message to your brain telling it that sleep is no longer a threat
Copyright 2015 The Sleep School
www.thesleepschool.org

and that it is ok to sleep naturally once more. Please remember that the
techniques are purely designed to observe what is going on in the present
moment and are not designed to get you to sleep or relax you. Whether you
observe chaos or calm your reaction should be the same and it is only this
acceptance of your insomnia that will weaken it over time and allow you to sleep
naturally once more.
30. Head towards your values rather than away from them. Imagine you are driving a
bus and the direction it is heading is what you value in life (e.g. what really
matters to you in life). On the bus you have some passengers, which represent
your thoughts, memories, emotions, and physical sensations that you have
picked up throughout your life. Some of the passengers will be the kind gentle
people who are very good to you and lovely to have along for the ride (good
memories etc). Other passengers are a gang of thugs (your painful thoughts,
emotions, memories, sensations etc) who are intent on causing trouble and
distracting you from driving (e.g. towards your values). It is likely that you have
spent much time trying to make these passengers get off the bus, or change their
appearance or hide them somewhere out of sight. You have probably also
stopped the bus and struggled to throw them off only to find they get straight
back on again. What you might have noticed is that in stopping the bus to deal
with these thugs you are no longer heading in the direction of your values and
therefore you have effectively put your life on hold! This programme is about
living now and living fully with (not in spite of) your past, your memories, and your
fears. What I am hoping you are learning over time is how to be on the bus
comfortably with all of your passengers - distinct from them and yet willing to
carry them on the journey.
31. The return of poor sleep. As your sleep improves it is very easy to fall into the
sabotage controlling trap. This is where after a period of good sleep your sleep
suddenly worsens. Out of desperation you start to use all of the observing tools
to try and control the problem and make your sleep improve, something that only
results in pushing it further away. It is important to remember that your mind has
a library dedicated to poor sleep and your brain cant help to refer back to it given
the right stimulation. For example, if your insomnia began when you started a
new job, it is likely to worry about it again if you ever decide to change jobs. In
reality such thoughts are just thoughts and it is only your unwillingness to
experience them and then attempts to control them that result in your insomnia
amplifying. The key to being a normal sleeper is being able to watch and
welcome such sabotages and let them go.

Copyright 2015 The Sleep School

www.thesleepschool.org

10

The Sleep School Guidelines

The Sleep School approaches insomnia with a sense of increased awareness,
acceptance and a non judging attitude. It relies on you accepting and letting go of your
insomnia in order to allow your brains innate sleep ability to emerge by itself and for you
to get on and live your life.
Insomnia feeds on your fear of not sleeping and how it will affect your ability to live your
life. As a result you struggle to control it by engaging in many activites designed to help
you sleep or cope with not sleeping and the discomfort that it brings. Sadly such
attempts to solve the problem often become part of the problem, and the nighttime
struggle inadvertaintly wakes you up more and becomes learnt over time. As
desperation sets in you commit more and more of your time to the overcoming your
insomnia and therefore have less energy to live your life, the very thing you are
struggling to preserve!
Our approach is designed to increase your willingness to experience your insomnia,
whilst making positive actions towards living your life. The theory being that when you
can accept poor sleep and start living your life, you struggle less against it and therefore
promote natural sleepiness and create more energy to get on and live a rich and
meaniful life.
The Sleep Schools approach goes against our modern desire to try and solve the
problem of why we cant sleep. It recognises that your body knows how to sleep and
that the only thing preventing you from sleeping is you. It understands that people who
sleep well do nothing when attempting to fall to sleep and therefore once you can stop
trying to sleep then and only then will you sleep. The guidelines below are designed to
help you facilitate your bodies natural mindful ability to sleep and when possible must
be read and followed everyday.
Guidelines
1. Accept that I am awake and that my bodyclock does not want to sleep at this
moment in time.
2. Accept that forcing, wanting or trying to make myself sleep will not help me to
sleep.
3. Accept that fighting, avoiding or trying to get rid of my insomnia will only fuel my
insomnia.
4. Accept that thinking about past poor quality sleep will not help me to sleep.
Remember the past has been and gone and there is nothing I can do to change
it.
Copyright 2015 The Sleep School
11
www.thesleepschool.org

5. Accept that worrying about the future, for example how bad I could feel tomorrow
if I dont sleep will not help me to sleep. Remember let the future take care of
itself.
6. Accept that nothing else exists other than the present moment and that I have a
choice of how I would like to respond in this moment. Remember following knee
jerk habitual reactions is not the only choice.
7. Recognise this awake time as an opportunity to practice my mindfulness
exercises. Use the time to get to know my insomnia and respond skillfully to it in
a way that takes me closer to what really matters to me in life.
8. Every day commit to making small actions that take you closer to what you value
in your life such as your health, work, family, friends and community.

Copyright 2015 The Sleep School

www.thesleepschool.org

12

The Vicious Cycle of Insomnia

Many of us experience poor sleep on a regular basis simply due to the rollercoaster ride
that is life. Anything from a stressful day at work, an argument with a friend or the loss
of a loved one can be the cause of such sleeplessness. Alternatively it could be
something as annoying as noisy neighbours, excessive jet leg or as a result of an
operation or pregnancy. Whatever the initial cause, it is normally only short lasting and
not the explanation for the continued poor sleep that is chronic insomnia.
Chronic insomnia is the vicious cycle where by the more sleepless nights you
experience the more you worry about not sleeping which causes you to have more
sleepless nights. It is like being stuck in quicksand where the more you panic and
struggle to get out the further down you sink. To escape quicksand you need to remain
calm and very slowly make skilful moves to place yourself onto the surface where you
can then move to the side. Similarly to get a good nights sleep you need to be able to
remain calm and trust in the fact that your body knows how to sleep and will do so if you
let it.

Sleep Myths
Myth 1. You need eight hours sleep every night
Eight is the average number of sleeping hours suggested by scientists that humans
need to maintain daily optimum performance. Whilst this figure is true, it is just an
average like the fact that the average UK male shoe is a size nine. This does not mean
that everyone fits a size nine shoe and similarly not everyone needs eight hours sleep.
Ask anyone how many hours sleep they need and you will get a range from three to
twelve. Individual variation suggests that some people need more than others. This
does not mean that people who sleep more have better brains or are more successful in
life, it simply means that they need more sleep to feel good and function well during the
day. Interestingly most people believe they need more sleep than they actually do and
ironically worrying about not getting enough sleep is one of the biggest causes of poor
sleep. This programme will help you to focus on promoting good sleep rather than
spending all of your time worrying about poor sleep.
Myth 2. People who sleep normally do not have bad nights
If you suffer from insomnia it is very easy to believe that everyone else sleeps perfectly
one hundred percent of the time. This is a complete myth and statistics show that eighty
percent of the population will experience poor sleep at some point in their lives. In fact if
you ask most people they will tell you that they regularly experience average quality
sleep and that it is far from perfect. Expecting sleep perfection is often a large source of
anxiety for most insomniacs. This programme will help you to realise that some poor
Copyright 2015 The Sleep School
www.thesleepschool.org

13

sleep is an inevitable part of life and that anxiety about poor sleep only helps to make
things worse.
Myth 3. If you cant sleep there must be something wrong with you
Chronic insomnia affects ten percent of the UK population. This means that one in every
ten people where you work or live are suffering just like you. Based on myth 2 it would
appear that suffering from poor sleep is actually quite normal and that sleeping well is in
the minority. This said just because you cant sleep does not mean that there is
something wrong with you. Everyone can sleep and often have done for long periods of
their lives with no problems at all. Whilst the cause of poor sleeping is normally due to a
single event occurring in ones life such as the loss of a loved one, stress at work, noisy
neighbours or jetlag. The thing that keeps it going is the worry about not sleeping and
that there must be something wrong with you. As you have probably already noticed it
becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy where the more you worry about not sleeping, the
less you sleep. This programme is about noticing such worry and learning how to let go
it and get on with your life.
Myth 4. Sleep is a natural process and you should be able to control it
Sleep is a natural process that every human does automatically from the day they are
born. This means that when it does not happen we can get very annoyed or anxious as
this is something that we should be able to do and if not should be able to fix.
Unfortunately whilst this fix it attitude may work in the external world such as if your car
breaks down you simply find someone to fix and carry on with life, it does not work so
well in the internal world. For example you might be listening to a song on the radio, but
cant recall its name and the more you try too, the further away it goes, until a few hours
later when it pops in when you have stopped thinking about it. Sleep is exactly the
same, your body knows how to sleep but the more you try to fix the problem and make
yourself sleep the further away it goes. This programme is about learning to let go of
trying to fix your sleep problem and allow it to come naturally.
Myth 5. If you dont sleep you will die
Sleep is vital for the human body and without it you will die. However this situation will
never arise because your brains protective mechanisms will force you into sleep. The
longest ever recorded period of wakefulness is 11 days and after this they were
reported to be medically fit and health and returned to a normal sleep wake cycle
immediately. Whilst death appears unlikely, recent evidence does suggest that poor
sleep over a prolonged period of time could lead to increases in weight, higher blood
pressure and diabetes, although the exact reasons why the risk is lower in people who
sleep is not known. What we do know is that after a poor nights sleep we feel tired and
are more emotional as a consequence. This means that we find it harder to rationalise
Copyright 2015 The Sleep School
www.thesleepschool.org

14

unhelpful thoughts and find it easy to create catastrophic fantasies about dying because
of sleep loss. This programme helps to avoid unskillful states such as worrying about
poor sleep and instead look towards promoting skilful actions that will improve sleep
and allow you to get on with your life.

What Is Normal Sleep?

When recovering from insomnia it can be very easy to set your sights on trying to
achieve eight hours of deep sleep every night. Unfortunately this is not possible and
trying to do so will often result in more frustration and wakefulness. The following sleep
hypnogram and questions are designed to give you a good understanding of what is
normal sleep. Look at the graph and answer the following questions (See below for
the answers).
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

What is the total length of time spent sleeping?

How many times does the person wake in the night?
How long is each sleep cycle and how many does the person have?
What type of sleep is recorded most during the night?
Roughly when and how much time is spent in deep sleep (stage 3 - 4)?
Roughly when and how much time is spent in REM sleep?

Figure 1. Sleep Hypnogram

1. What is the total length of time spent sleeping? 8hrs. The average amount of
time that humans spend sleeping is 7-8hr hours. However, the range is 4
10hrs, which means that how much sleep you need is a very individual thing.
2. How many times does the person wake in the night? The person wakes up
twice. It is quite natural for humans to wake in the night for short periods of time.
Humans sleep in 90 110 minute cycles during which they go from waking into
Copyright 2015 The Sleep School
www.thesleepschool.org

15

light, deep and then REM sleep and then either back to waking or back into light
sleep. This cyclical system is an evolutionary protective mechanism designed to
allow humans to sleep and yet still wake up on regular intervals to check for
danger. It is the perceived threat and hyper arousal associated with insomnia that
causes such nocturnal awakenings to be extended.
3. How long is each sleep cycle and how many do they have? The average
length of each cycle is 90 minutes and the person has 5 sleep cycles. The
number of cycles is dependent on the amount of time a person sleeps for, but on
average it will be 4 to 5 per night.
4. What type of sleep is recorded most during the night? Light sleep is the most
common stage of sleep. Humans experience light and deep sleep and Rapid Eye
Movement (REM) Sleep. Deep sleep is when you do most of your growth and
repair, whilst REM or dreaming sleep is when you store most of your memories.
5. Roughly when and how much time is spent in deep sleep (stage 3 - 4)?
Deep sleep accounts for only 20% of sleep and occurs in the first third of the
night. Most people speak about getting more deep sleep, when in fact it only
makes up a small percentage of the total night.
6. Roughly when and how much time is spent in REM sleep? REM accounts for
only 25% of sleep and occurs during the latter part of the night and early
morning. Due to the dreaming, it is a very light and active stage of sleep, which is
why many people complain of being easily woken from it. Most people finish their
sleep with REM and as a result can often remember their dreams. If dreams
have been particularly active people can wake up feeling exhausted and
unrefreshed. If you are sleep deprived then the amount of REM you experience
increases, which means you get even more light and dreamy sleep and feel even
more unrefreshed.

Copyright 2015 The Sleep School

www.thesleepschool.org

16

Mindfulness
The aim of mindfulness is to simply increase present moment awareness and allow us
to make a mindful choice in response to a situation rather than simply responding
automatically and mindlessly. Responding mindfully to wakefulness in the middle of the
night by using the exercises below sends a strong message to your body suggesting
that there is nothing left to fear about sleep and that it is ok to sleep. This message is
directly opposite to that supplied by familiar patterns of panic or resentment, which only
help to fuel wakefulness.
Exercise 1. Mindful Observing
Most of us are very aware of our ability to think as this plays an integral part of our daily
life and can sometimes be so active that we wish we could find the off switch. Lesser
known is the observing mind, which notices everything, that goes on including the
thoughts you are thinking and the sensations you feel. Interestingly by developing the
observing mind you can learn to work with the thinking mind in a way that can help it to
calm down or feel like it is switched off.
Start to notice the difference between your thinking mind and your Observing mind.
Make time everyday to come out of your mind and into your body and your environment.
Do this by observing your senses (sight, smell, taste, touch and sound) for 20 30
seconds several times a day. This exercise is all about noticing what it going on right
now rather than trying to change anything or think about things (e.g. observing vs.
thinking). Use this exercise if your mind is particularly busy and just wont switch off. If
your mind does wander off onto a thought, simply thank it and return back to your
observing.
Exercise 2. Mindful Breathing
The regularity of our breath makes it an excellent anchor to the present moment and our
continuous connection with it wherever we go makes it a great mindfulness tool. At its
most basic level, mindful breathing offers us a connection to the present moment and
an escape from our automatic lifestyles. Taken further, regular mindful breathing
practice allows us to become an impartial witness to our own moment by moment
thoughts, feelings, behaviours and physical sensations, thus offering us the choice as to
how we would like to respond rather than relying on old knee jerk responses.
Step 1 - Focus your attention on your breath. For example focus on the rise and fall of
your abdominal wall or expansion and contraction of your rib cage, as air comes in and
out of your lungs. Breathe at a natural relaxed pace, not too fast or too slow.
Step 2 - Each time you notice your mind has wandered off from your breath, gently
return it back to your breath and congratulate yourself for returning back to the present
Copyright 2015 The Sleep School
www.thesleepschool.org

17

moment. If your mind keeps wandering off, which it can do, simply keep bringing it back
in a gentle and playful manner. You might find that you start to get annoyed at your
inability to remain focussed and the fact that your mind always wants to be somewhere
else. If this happens do not worry, it is only natural for the mind to wander, in fact it is
quite unnatural to have a mind free from thoughts. The aim is not to block out your
thoughts, but instead it is to allow them to come in, notice them for what they are and
then gently allow them to pass, almost like the clouds passing in the sky. Once you
have finished with a thought gently return your mind back to your breath and continue
the mindful breathing practice. Remember that it is completely natural to have thoughts
and that trying to control them or block them out is like trying to stop your heart beating
with your mind.
Practice Notes - When practicing mindful breathing it is also important to be aware of
your body, so adopting a good erect posture whether sitting, lying or standing is
essential. Whilst practice can be done anywhere or for any length of time, when first
starting your mind training it is good to follow some formal guidelines. It is
recommended that you allot three periods of three minutes from your day to perform
mindful breathing practice (e.g. in the early morning, midday and during the evening).
Practicing at different times of day offers the benefit experiencing your breath and
ultimately your mind at different moments. Remember mindful breathing simply allows
you to observe what is present at that moment in time and therefore comparison
between times is not needed or does not matter.
Mindful breathing practice can also be done once you first get into bed or if you find
yourself awake in the middle of the night. It is important to note that you are NOT doing
this to get you to sleep or to help you relax instead you are simply doing it to be in the
present moment. As soon as you start to use mindful breathing as a tool to help you
sleep, you are once again trying to sleep and hence pushing it further away.
Exercise 3. Mindful Daily Chores
Performing daily chores mindfully is another way to practice using your mind rather than
the mind using you. Just like our thoughts, we can also do day-to-day activities
automatically, meaning we have very little awareness of doing them or the
consequences of our actions. Often we can be doing something and yet be a million
miles away from the activity in hand. More often this happens with activities that we
repeat on a daily basis such as brushing our teeth or eating. However the more
disconnected we become from the present moment, the more it can start to happen with
everything we do in life. Living life like this is likened to being on automatic pilot, where
we are living our life but not aware of what is happening to us.

Copyright 2015 The Sleep School

www.thesleepschool.org

18

Approaching activities in a mindful way means approaching them with a beginners

mind, one that is curious, investigative, playful and non-judging. One that is completely
open to every experience moment by moment. Practicing being mindful when doing our
daily chores enables us to become aware of when we on automatic pilot and allows us
to return back to the present moment.
Step 1 - Choose an activity that you perform once or twice everyday (see list below for
ideas) and approach it with a beginners mind. Allow yourself to sensually experience
the activity by noticing how it feels, tastes, sounds, looks and smells moment by
moment.
Step 2 - Focus your complete attention onto what you are doing and if your mind
wanders off from what you are doing, which it probably will do, simply bring it back. If it
keeps wandering off, then simply keep bringing it back and remember that every time
you do you are beginning to use your mind rather than your mind using you.
Practice Notes - Choose one of the following mindful daily chores below and mindfully
practice it every day for one week before choosing another activity.

Brushing teeth

Eating food

Drinking water

Shaving

Showering

Walking

Cleaning

Driving

Copyright 2015 The Sleep School

www.thesleepschool.org

19

Thoughts
Top 10 Unhelpful Thoughts
As you become more aware you will probably have a good idea of some of your
regularly occurring unhelpful thoughts. Making a list of them further helps to alert you to
their presence as they flash automatically through your mind and can help to see them
for what they really are, which is just thoughts and start to let them go rather than
becoming emotionally entangled with them.
Make a list of your top 10 daily unhelpful automatic thoughts or as many as you can:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Add more here...

Copyright 2015 The Sleep School

www.thesleepschool.org

20

Fighting, Avoiding, Changing Thoughts

When an unhelpful thought pops into your head there is a tendency to want to fight it,
avoid it or change it because we do not like its presence. Hopefully by now you are
learning that whilst this automatic reaction may feel most natural it is not the most skillful
response and often results in a worsening of the situation. Fighting your thoughts could
be likened to a mental game of tug of war where the harder you pull the greater the
opposition will resist leading to a never ending battle in your head. Basically fighting
thoughts fuels thoughts meaning they come back stronger and more frequent.
Positively Challenging Thoughts
Challenging our unhelpful thoughts by creating positive ones to rebut them is another
common method used to gain control over unhelpful thoughts. Unfortunately whilst
thinking positively can sometimes be helpful it can easily turn into another mental tug of
war where every unhelpful thought is endlessly rebutted with a positive and with no end
in sight.
In addition, positive statements often use past experience to predict the future in a
positive way. For example, I have had two good nights out of four so far this week so
there is a chance I might sleep well again tonight. Whilst it is important be aware of the
positive fact that you can sleep well especially since it is very easy to look towards the
negative side of things, it is vital to remember that this fact is in the past and should not
be used to predict the future. After all, the past has been and gone and there is nothing
you can do to change it and the only thing that exists is the present. By focusing on the
present you are bringing yourself into reality and enabling rational choices to be made
based on your actual experiences at this moment in time.
The simple act of challenging unhelpful thoughts could also be part of the problem since
it places unwanted emphasis on something that is just a thought. For example choosing
to rebut an unhelpful thought with a positive suggests that there is actually some form of
truth or reality to the unhelpful statement when often there is not.
Thoughts Are Just Thoughts
Thoughts are just sounds, words, stories, bits of language passing through our heads.
Learning to look at them in this way helps to break the emotional attachment and
reactionary behaviour that ceratin thoughts have over us. Treating thoughts as just
thoughts means that they can no longer hurt us any more.

Copyright 2015 The Sleep School

www.thesleepschool.org

21

What Are Thoughts?

It is very easy to take all of the thoughts that pop into our heads as gospel, no matter
how they make us feel or behave. For example we start to believe the following:

Thoughts are reality: what were thinking is actually present, here and now!

Thoughts are the truth: we literally believe them!

Thoughts are important: we take them seriously, and give them our full attention!

Thoughts are orders: we automatically obey them!

Thoughts are wise: we assume they know best and we follow their advice!

Being more aware of your thoughts can allow you to realise that the statements above
are not true and can help you to start questioning them and realise the following:

Thoughts are merely sounds, words, stories, bits of language, passing through
our heads.

Thoughts may or may not be true: we dont automatically believe them.

Thoughts may or may not be important: we pay attention only if they are helpful.

Thoughts are not orders: We dont have to obey them.

Thoughts may or may not be wise: We dont automatically follow their advice.

Basically thoughts are just thoughts and if they can be looked at in this way you can
choose to answer and respond to them how you wish rather than looking from them and
always following the same knee jerk reactions time after time.
Next time you notice a unhelpful automatic thought or image flashing through your mind,
gently hold on to it and start to question it and realise it for what it truly is..just a bit of
sound or some words passing through your head or an old story that you have told
yourself countless times.

Copyright 2015 The Sleep School

www.thesleepschool.org

22

Defusion Techniques
In the middle of the night it is very easy to be completely fused with your thoughts so
much so that you believe that they are reality, truthful and are orders that must be
obeyed. This means that when thoughts such as I wont sleep tonight pop into your
head, you struggle against them, which inevitably wakes you up more. The following
techniques are designed to help you see your thoughts for what they really are and to
increase your willingness to experience them in the middle of the night and therefore
lessen the power they hold over you.
1. Describing your thoughts Every time you notice an unhelpful thought that
pops into your head place the words I am having the thought that.. in front of
them. Doing this helps to create distance between you and your thoughts and
allows you to see them for what they really are.just thoughts.
2. Musical thoughts Every time you notice the thoughts pop into your head
practice singing them to the tune of Happy Birthday or Jingle bells or say them in
the voice of a funny cartoon character such as Donald Duck or Homer Simpson
as this will help you to realise that they are just thoughts and are not as scary or
serious as you first thought. Notice that you are not trying to change the thought
in any way or even trivialize it. Instead simply showing it for what it is.just a
thought flashing through your head.
3. Greet your thoughts Practice greeting your thoughts in a friendly and inviting
manner. For example, when they arrive say Hello to them and maybe Its good
to see you. Being friendly in this way helps to switch off the fear reaction that is
currently in place and can in turn reduce the frequency of such unhelpful
thoughts. Being playful with them can also help such as highlighting their timely
arrival to you waking up in the middle of the night by saying, oh look, I have just
woken up and here you all are. Greet all of your thoughts with kind gestures
almost as if you are thanking your mind for sending you this thought such as
saying thank you mind in your head when you notice a new one pop in.
Approach the naming and greeting with an attitude of playfulness and curiosity
rather than with resentment and anger.
4. Name Your Thoughts Giving your thoughts shortened names is another way
of bringing a friendly familiarity to them. For example, a thought such as If I dont
sleep I wont be able to cope tomorrow could be shortened to My not coping
thoughts.
Remember the aim of these techniques is not to get rid of your thoughts rather to allow
you to see them for what they are.just words, bits of noise in your head or old stories
that you repeat to yourself. Allow them to be there without feeling the need to fight them
or trying to block them out. For these techniques to be effective and automatic you must
practice them at least 10 - 15 times per day or whenever unhelpful thoughts arise.

Copyright 2015 The Sleep School

www.thesleepschool.org

23

Helpful Questions
Outlined below is a list of helpful questions to ask your unhelpful thoughts. It might help
to choose two that really work for you and write them on a scrap of paper and keep
them in your wallet. Get used to running them through your head every time a unhelpful
thought pops in such as what do I get from buying into this thought? or Is this an old
story that I have heard before?
Did this thought just pop into my head automatically?
Could I be confusing a thought with a fact?
Am I engaging in crystal ball thinking to predict the future?
Am I overestimating disaster?
Am I expecting perfection or setting my sights too high?
Am I judging myself too hard?
How would I have thought about it at another time or in another mood?
What would I say to someone I cared about who was troubled by this thought,
and came to me for advice?
Am I jumping to conclusions or seeing things in black and white?
Am I focused completely on my weaknesses and forgetting my strengths?
Am I trying to mind reading what a person is thinking?
Is this thought in any way helpful?
Is this an old story? Have I heard this one before?
What would I get for buying into this story?
Could this be helpful or is this my mind just babbling on?
Does this thought help me take effective action?
Am I sabotaging my own questioning with yet more unhelpful thoughts?
Am I trying too hard to fix or solve this problem?

Copyright 2015 The Sleep School

www.thesleepschool.org

24

Two Countries at War The Insomnia Battle

Imagine you live in a small country that shares a border with a hostile neighbour. There
are three possible scenarios for how your country can relate to its neighbour. The worstcase scenario is war. Your country attacks and the other fights back. As both countries
get pulled into a major war, the people of both nations suffer. Think of any major war
and the huge costs involved, in terms of life, money and well-being.
Another scenario, better than the first but still far from satisfactory, is a temporary truce.
Both countries agree to a ceasefire, but there is no reconciliation. Resentment seethes
beneath the surface, and there is the constant underlying threat that war will break out
again.
The third possibility is genuine peace. You acknowledge your differences, and allow
them just to be. This does not get rid of the other country, nor does it mean that you
necessarily like it or even want it there. Nor does it mean that you approve of its politics
or religion. But because youre no longer at war, you can now use your money and
resources to build up the infrastructure of your own country, instead of squandering
them on the battlefield.
You and your insomnia could be these two small countries. The first scenario, war, is
like the struggle to get to sleep and all of the unhelpful thoughts and feeling associated
with it. It is a battle that can never be won, and it consumes a huge amount of time and
energy.
The second scenario, a truce, is definitely better, but its still a long way from true
acceptance. It is more like a grudging tolerance of poor sleep rather than an outright
battle. It is the hope that follows a few good nights that maybe you have cracked it, only
to find it return and even worse than before. Its a sense more of resignation than
acceptance, of entrapment rather than freedom, of being stuck rather than moving
forward.
The third scenario, peace, represents true acceptance. It is the same when you truly
accept your insomnia and stop fighting with it. You dont have to like it, want it or
approve of all of the unhelpful thoughts and feeling that go with it. You simply make
peace with it and let it be. This leaves you free to focus your energy on taking action
action that moves your life forward in a direction of value. Remember it is your reaction
to your insomnia that keeps you attached to it and learning to let go of struggling is an
essential part of your recovery.

Copyright 2015 The Sleep School

www.thesleepschool.org

25

Additional Reading and Support

The Sleep Book How to sleep well every night by Dr Guy Meadows published
by Orion February 2014 (9.99). This book has been specifically designed to support
your 1on1 sessions. Available in print, ebook and audio.
The Sleep School Sleep App (2.99): Currently available on iOS and Android. The
audio tracks on the app will guide you through all of the tools learnt during your 1on1
sessions.
The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris: published by Robinson Good ACT textbook
Mindfulness Finding Peace in a Frantic World by Mark Williams and Danny
Pennman: Published by Piatikus

Copyright 2015 The Sleep School

www.thesleepschool.org

26