Address Your Stress, Stay Healthy & Calm

Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP

Address your stress, stay healthy and calm

By Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP
Lake House Health & Learning Center
Racine, Wisconsin

Address Your Stress, Stay Healthy & Calm

Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP

2010 by Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP

Copyright holder is licensing this under the Creative Commons License, Attribution 3.0.
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/us/
Lake House Health & Learning Center
932 Lake Ave.
Racine, WI 53403
www.lakehousecenter.com
This book has been created especially for the Educators Credit Union.
Please feel free to share with whomever you believe would benefit from reading it.
Thank you!

Address Your Stress, Stay Healthy & Calm

Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP

How to use this book

This e-book is designed to offer a variety of suggestions for real stress relief
with the whole person approach.
The whole person approach recognizes that we are complex human beings
and there are no one-size-fits-all solutions. It also recognizes that within
this complexity it is important to address mind, body and spirit.

The trick is not how well you deal with

success but how well you deal with
adversity.
W. Michael Blumenthal

You may wish to print out this book so it can be an easily available resource
for you. Your online version can point you to a number of valuable web sites
with just a click.
Although the book builds upon ideas of identification first and actions
regarding self care second, you may begin at any page. Keep in mind that
you may find different sections more appealing at different times. Some
material may be familiar to you, and some material may be new to you. I
encourage every reader to have openness to new information that can truly
change your life and your ability to deal with difficult situations.
Feedback and suggestions for additional topics are welcome.
To your health
Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP
Lake House Health & Learning Center
Racine, Wisconsin

Address Your Stress, Stay Healthy & Calm

Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP

Stress?
We all have it. Unfortunately, the experience of stress is a fact of life in our
hurried world, where every day we are pushed to do-do-do and go-go-go.
When we are faced with a life-shaking event such as a job loss we can
feel very, very overwhelmed.
There are ways of reducing stress without alcohol, pills, cookies or
television. Making the effort to stay calm and healthy without these kinds of
quick fixes can be a challenge. But the results are worth it.
Why address stress?
The fact is that stress hurts our health. High levels of stress set our
primitive survival mechanisms into high gear. Stress signals will flood our
bodies with various hormones and other human-made chemicals. What is
our bodys natural reaction in the face of stress, in turn, affects our blood
pressure, our ability to think clearly and other body processes. Its been
shown that stress contributes to heart problems, obesity, infertility, reduced
immune function, chronic anxiety and a host of other health problems.
Unaddressed stress also impacts our relationships.
Arguments seem to start more quickly, and bad moods may brew for a
longer amount of time, causing people toward words and actions that are
out of character.
People may turn to unhealthy behaviors drinking too much, eating too
much, spending too much that may cause further conflict.
If you are feeling stress, the best thing that you can do is to take care of
yourself NOW. Care of yourself will have dividends that will pay forward with
a higher level of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health.

Acceptance of what has happened is

the first step to overcoming the
consequences of any misfortune.
William James

Address Your Stress, Stay Healthy & Calm

Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP

The first step is to educate yourself about stress. Heres a brief definition:
Stress comes from a situation in which you feel frustrated, angry or anxious
and your resources to be comfortable with these feelings arent enough to
flow with the situation.
We might see it like this:
Situation + high emotion = stress.
Its important to know that you may have certain reactions that may at first
feel scary and unsettling. Here are normal reactions to a stressful event,
such as losing a job:

The truth that many people never

understand, until it is too late, is that the
more you try to avoid suffering the more
you suffer because smaller and more
insignificant things begin to torture you
in proportion to your fear of being hurt.
Thomas Merton

Wide range of feelings.

Difficulty sleeping.
Irritability.
Low energy and lack of energy.
Fear and anxiety.
Confusion.
Lack of concentration.
High levels of tension in the body.
Feeling out of control with certain behaviors, such as overeating,
worrying and spending.
Feeling angry or judgmental.
Physical complaints, such as headaches, stomach aches and other aches
and pains, even though there is no medical reason.
What doesnt help and hurts
Theres evidence that many of our cultures favorite stress-reduction
solutions create more stress and illness. Alcohol whether in the form of
a good stiff drink or a simple glass of wine appears to relax us when in
reality it is numbing our central nervous system. We dont feel the feeling,

Address Your Stress, Stay Healthy & Calm

Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP

not because the feeling has disappeared but because the alcohol has
numbed our ability to feel much of anything at all. If we are prone to
depression, we will find that alcohol literally depresses the central nervous
system, contributing to feelings of depression as well.
Cigarettes stress the vascular system, and sugar stimulates a flood of
insulin, which can contribute to rising and falling levels of energy as well as
weight gain and cravings.
Eating, the original way that we learned to feel soothed and nourished, can
become mindless as we snack our way through bags of chips and sweets,
along with second helpings of dinner. A diet of processed foods impact our
ability to think clearly and make good decisions.
Medications are available that calm your physiological response to stressful
events. However, they do not strengthen you or teach you skills to help you
get through the event and stabilize and prosper and might lead to
dependencies and addiction.
Stress frequently brings people to my psychotherapy and coaching sessions.
Although the story is always a bit different a difficult relationship,
struggles with parenting, ill health, significant loss the person is struggling
to sustain an adequate level of functioning in the face of stress.
Basically, too many feelings, demands and obligations are whirling within
the person, and his or her capacity to handle the challenges of these this
inner experience is overwhelmed. Losing a job which accounts to not only
losing an identity but also an income and even status can be
overwhelming for most people.
Relief is available with intention and effort. This e-book is designed to
offer a variety of suggestions for genuine stress relief with a whole person
approach, addressing mind, body and spirit.

Pain nourishes courage. You can't be

brave if you've only had wonderful
things happen to you.
Mary Tyler Moore

Address Your Stress, Stay Healthy & Calm

Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP

Follow the suggestions as best you can.
In what I call the first aid period of stress, whats most important is that
we admit that weve been shaken by life events and take responsibility to
attend to our distress rather than hoping they will just go away.
This means:
We accept that we have strong and painful feelings about the event and
that they are real.

Its not whether you get knocked down.

Its whether you get up again.

Then we make a promise to ourselves and to any other important

persons in our lives that we will address the situation as important and
necessary.
Learn how to accept your feelings.

Vince Lombardi

Many of us spend a great deal of time denying and pushing aside our
feelings. Some of us have the belief that having feelings is weak and they
believe they must stay strong.
Here, its important to redefine what is strong and what is weak. Strength is
actually the courage to face the truth of your experience, even if it does not
look like how you like to think about yourself. Facing what is gives you the
opportunity to take proper action.
Know the difference between emotions and thoughts.
A feeling is an inner experience that involves an emotion mad, sad, glad,
lonely or scared.
A thought is your minds explanation about a feeling.

Address Your Stress, Stay Healthy & Calm

Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP

For instance, you may feel angry or sad or both about your job loss.
You may experience this feeling as a beating heart, a jittery stomach or a
sad and heavy place in your chest, maybe even in your heart.
Here is the emotion:
Im angry.
Heres the thought:
My boss is really a jerk. Theyre all jerks.
Heres another emotion:

Action is the antidote to despair.

Im sad.
Heres another thought:
Nothing ever turns out right for me.
Notice that the feelings are facts they are statements about your
experience in the moment. The thoughts are stories that you make up about
your feelings which are often not true.
As you keep grasp of the thoughts, you will create an attitude that amplifies
worry and negativity. If they are not addressed and redirected, you may
become chronically angry, depressed or physically ill.
The sooner that you are able to sort feelings from thoughts, the sooner you
will be able to begin to stabilize your inner experience. If you choose to seek
new directions or make new decisions for your life, youll be able to move
forward with clarity,
unencumbered by unfinished or unacknowledged
feelings.

Joan Baez

Address Your Stress, Stay Healthy & Calm

Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP

Checklist:
Identify your feelings.
Acknowledge your feelings to yourself.
Use a notebook or diary to write about your feelings.
Share your feelings with people who can listen without judgment.

Every food you chose is an

opportunity to either nourish or neglect
your health. Chose health and you will
be amazed how your body will repay
you a hundred-fold for that tender
loving care.
Elizabeth Somer

Journaling writing emotions, thoughts, experiences and wishes is a

good way to reduce the intensity of your feelings. Texas psychologist James
W. Pennebaker studied journaling and found that writing about painful
experiences can enhance immune response, reduce recovery times, and
promote physical, psychological, and social well-being. His book, Writing to
Heal: A Guided Journal for Recovering from Trauma and Emotional
Upheaval offers good ideas if youd like extra guidance.
Have a routine that keeps you stabilized.
Keep a schedule. Getting up at the same time each morning, going to
bed at the same time each night and eating meals on time stabilizes
your body functions.
Participate in the regular activities that has given your life pleasure and
structure: your weekly breakfast with friends, your evening church
group, attendance at your place of worship, an after-dinner walk with a
neighbor.
Pay attention to nutrition. (Eat healthy food.)
Healthy food -- food that is not highly processed -- nourishes your body and
brain. Read labels and avoid foods that contain large amounts of sugar,
preservatives and bleached flour. Reduce caffeine too.
Focus on whole grains, fruits and vegetables. Youll be able to think more

Address Your Stress, Stay Healthy & Calm

Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP

clearly and reduce fatigue and uneven moods. You may even sleep better,
which will give you more energy.
One excellent resource is the book, Food and Mood by Elizabeth Somer,
who links junky diets to depression and anxiety and cravings. Her newest
book, Eat Your Way To Happiness, details how dietary changes lead to
feelings of happiness and well being. See your favorite book publishing site
or her site at www.elizabethsomer.com.
So, heres your checklist:
Eat as well as you can.
Stay away from highly processed foods, sugary foods, sweet beverages
and caffeine.
Drink plenty of water.
Take a good multi-vitamin daily.
Vitamin B, especially Vitamin B-12, will soothe your nervous system.
Omega-3 fish oils will feed your brain and reduce the risk of depression.
Eat foods that are soothing and gentle to the body. Brown rice is one of
those foods; so is oatmeal.
1/2 cup sweet potato daily a suggestion of Traditional Chinese
Medicine practitioners is a classic Asian way of increasing energy.
You can also nourish your body and spirit in other important ways.
One of the most important ways of nourishing your body is to practice
conscious breathing. Conscious breathing means that you are aware of your
breath and are able to control each inhalation and exhalation.
Learn how to breathe properly.
When you breathe deeply into your belly so that your belly puffs out a bit,
you are activating the parasympathetic nervous system, which relaxes the

All the world is full of suffering. It is

also full of overcoming it.
Helen Keller

Address Your Stress, Stay Healthy & Calm

Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP

body. Remember that you are in complete control of how long you take to
draw oxygen into your body and how long to take to release your breath.
Find your own rhythm just remember to make it slow. A good yoga
teacher will help you learn how to bring oxygen into your system by
showing you how to breathe properly.
There are books, CDs and DVDs that are now more easily available as we
increasingly understand the importance of correct breathing. A helpful book
is Conscious Breathing: Breathwork for Health, Stress Release, and
Personal Mastery by Gay Hendricks.

We live in an intelligent and responsive

universe which acts and interacts with
us at all times towards our best
interest.
Carl Jung

Online resources are also available. I especially recommend YouTube

(www.youtube.com) which offers many wonderful videos that demonstrate
breathing techniques, sometimes with stretching. Here are just few of many
titles to search on YouTube:
Rodney Yee
Stretching video from Become Relaxed
Deep Breathing at Home
How To Do Breathing Exercises
The Breathing Box with Gay Hendricks
Notice that the instructors have varied approaches. Check out YouTubes
search function for a menu of more videos and select the ones that are most
compatible to you.
Imagination helps too.
Guided imageries combining breathing, imagination and music are
powerful ways of changing our thoughts and responses about stress. I
frequently recommend the imageries from Belleruth Naparsteks Health
Journeys site (www.healthjourneys.com) where CDs and downloads are
available for purchase.

Address Your Stress, Stay Healthy & Calm

Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP

You may also find samples of these imageries at the Kaiser Permanente site
which you can download at no charge.
See: https://members.kaiserpermanente.org/redirects/listen/
samples.

for

these

Release stress energy with exercise and movement.

Nearly any exercise is fine, but consult a chiropractor, physician or physical
therapist if you have injuries or aches of concern. You also may opt for
yoga, tai chi chuan, qigong (also known as chi kung) all of which mix
breathing and a philosophy of living with physical activity to multiply
benefits.
You may look for a class in your area or find videos or DVDs at your library.
Again, www.youtube.com is a good resource, especially if these practices
are new to you.
Live simply.
Identify what is genuinely nourishing to you, and examine if goals that you
hold in your life really belong to you -- or to your parents, your culture or
others who have placed their expectations on you. Decisions based on your
healthy needs and values are more likely to bring you positive feelings of
satisfaction and create meaning in your life.
Gather support for yourself.
First, a few words about support.
Support is a word that has nearly lost its meaning in recent years since we
use this word regularly for all kinds of situations and settings.

Its hard to be grateful and search for

whats wrong with things at the same
time. By eliminating the need to be
perfect, acceptance with the way things
are is easier and less stressful. This
also decreases the need to be right, to
compete or to judge.
Richard Carlson

Address Your Stress, Stay Healthy & Calm

Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP

Support is not agreeing or joining in the drama of the story. It is not taking
sides nor does it involve blaming someone or spreading negativity.
True support says:
Im here.
I understand.
Im listening.
Let me know when you need to talk.
Heres what worked for me.
Tell me more if you wish.
Let me know how I can help and Ill do my best.

"When our days are turbulent and

troubled, our challenge is to remember
that the wave is not the sea."
Mark Nepo

Find people who will accept your feelings without judgment.

Stay away from people who are full of doom and gloom and negativity. This
may involve making new friends or finding a support group, formal or
informal, where you can talk honestly about yourself.
Pastor, minister, spiritual leader
Informal support group
Formal support group
Job-hunting group
Spend time with a pet
Learn to understand what stress you create for yourself and what
stress is beyond your control.
Begin to sort though what you can do to reduce the stress that is selfcreated. For instance, you may decide not to schedule yourself so tightly so
that you dont have to rush from one appointment to another in a panic. You
may leave more time for driving when you know youll be traveling a trafficcongested area.

Address Your Stress, Stay Healthy & Calm

Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP

Set boundaries with others.

This may mean saying no to requests that you are not able take on -including extra obligations, favors or other tasks. Or you may need to set
boundaries with yourself as you identify your limitations in not being able to
do it all. Be sure your choices are yours to make.
Rest when you are tired.
Real rest doesnt mean turning on the television and plopping yourself in
front of the screen. Studies show the nattering TV actually floods more
information to the tired brain that must be sorted and processed; we might
guess that surfing the Internet is similar.
Its also important to have quiet places to rest and relax; studies also show
that people who are exposed to constant noise are highly stressed in their
body processes -- although they may say they feel relaxed.

Great minds have purposes; little

minds have wishes. Little minds are
subdued by misfortunes; great minds
rise above them.

Learn meditation.
Even five minutes a day of meditation can help you release thoughts from
your brain, allowing it to cleanse and empty. You may think more clearly,
find yourself more able to stay present and experience more intuitive
connections.
Here is a basic plan for meditation:
Sit in a comfortable place where you can keep your back comfortably
straight a pillow, bench, sofa or chair.
Place hands gently on lap and soften your focus or mostly close your eyes or
close your eyes completely. Take a slow deep breath.

Washington Irving

Address Your Stress, Stay Healthy & Calm

Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP

When you notice a thought arising, silently say thinking and return to the
breath. Continue to breathe. When another thought intrudes, identify the
thought by saying thinking and return to the breath once again.
Many books, CDs, DVDs and videos can guide you with various meditation
styles. You may also wish to find a group if you need the instruction, have
specific questions or support of others. Music that is soft and flowing can be
very relaxing; others find music with strong bass notes (such as cello)
stabilizing.
Herbs, homeopathic remedies and aromatherapy

Do what you say you value.

Roger Mellott

Herbs, homeopathic remedies and aromatherapy can assist with sleep and
calming.
Many people find herbs and supplements like valerian, melatonin and
passiflora helpful in relaxing and sleeping.
A herb from Traditional Chinese Medicine is He Huan Hua, which is known as
the happy flower and helps with a broken heart, grief and stress.
Homeopathic remedies are individualized to very specific conditions relating
to stress, anxiety, panic or sleeplessness. Rescue Remedy is an all-purpose
emergency treatment that is calming; see www.rescueremedy.com.
Aromatherapy studies have shown that lavender reduces stress. Use
pharmaceutical grade essential oil not a copycat perfume and put 5-6
drops in your bath or 2-3 drops on a cotton ball to tuck in your pillow case.
These remedies are not habit forming and generally considered safe
although it is best to check with your physician, pharmacist or other trained
health professional to make sure that anything that you use will not

Address Your Stress, Stay Healthy & Calm

Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP

interfere with medications you currently take.

Notice what nurtures
Notice what really nurtures you: a warm bath, a cup of an herbal tea like
chamomile, a walk in the park with your dog, a head massage, a passage
from an inspirational book, a funny movie, prayer. Share ideas with others
and find out their favorites.
Massage, acupuncture, acupressure and energy work like Reiki.
These modalities and others help the body release tension and relax.
Although each is a little different, they act in similar ways by unblocking the
energy within the body, increasing circulation and releasing tension.
Hand placements and energetic exercises

Many companies have long contended

that stress in the home causes productivity loss in the market place.. and it

Simple hand placements and energetic exercises that you can do yourself
will release and balance the selfs energies.

does. But research now reveals that

Stomping feet

home. In other words, they feed off

This is very simple bioenergetic exercise that is especially helpful when you
are unable to slow your thoughts or feel very fidgety or angry.

each other.

Sit comfortably in a chair. Place your feet flat on the floor. Begin stomping
your feet: left, right, left, right. Continue stomping for at least 30 seconds,
keeping the same rhythm. Stop and breathe. As you build stamina, you will
be able to stamp for a longer period of time, up to 2 or more minutes.

Zig Ziglar

Grounding
Sit comfortably in a chair. Place your feet flat on the floor or ground. Take

stress on the job causes stress at

Address Your Stress, Stay Healthy & Calm

Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP

a deep breath and imagine that you have roots growing from the soles of
your feet through the floor and into the ground. Imagine that the roots
continue to grow deep into the earth. Continue to breathe and enjoy this
rooted and stable feeling as if you are a sturdy tree with your roots going
deep into the earth. Enjoy the feeling of strength and connection. You may
also do this exercise when standing with loosely relaxed knees.
Head and heart
Sit or lay comfortably. Place on hand on your forehead and one hand on
your heart. Hold for 15 minutes. This exercise, one of many, comes from
Sharon Giammatteos book Body Wisdom: Light Touch For Optimal Health.

It makes no sense to worry about

Touching fingers

things you have no control over

Sit comfortably. Rest your hands on your lap. Place your fingertips and
thumb tips together so all are gently touching. Cross left ankle over right if
you are a woman; right ankle over left if you are a man. Sit quietly and
breathe.

because there's nothing you can do

about them, and why worry about
things you do control? The activity of
worrying keeps you immobilized.
Wayne Dyer

Final words
Perhaps you know these practices and habits make good logical sense -- but
you havent been able to make changes despite your best efforts.
If this is so, your challenge is twofold -- to discover what gets in the way of
taking care of yourself for the valuable person you are and to learn how to
make new choices that are sustainable throughout the course of your life.
Remember that others can help you do what you cannot do alone and
find support for yourself.
Have courage and make sure you find support for the journey.

Address Your Stress, Stay Healthy & Calm

Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP

Karen Carnabucci, MSS, LCSW, TEP, is a psychotherapist, coach,

consultant and educator who employs traditional and contemporary
models and the expressive arts to work with people to solve problems, make decisions and expand creativity.
She is a licensed clinical social worker and nationally certified trainer,
educator and practitioner in psychodrama, sociometry and group psychotherapy. She has had the great good fortune of studying with
Zerka Moreno, the widow and collaborator of Dr. J.L. Moreno, the
European physician who developed psychodrama, and Heinz Stark, a
leading trainer in Systemic Constellation Work from Germany. She
has practiced and taught these and other unique experiential mindbody methods in a variety of settings locally, regionally, nationally
and internationally since 1989.
She has contributed chapters to professional books and written articles about stress, trauma, non-traditional therapies, addiction, creativity and other health and wellness issues for numerous regional and
national publications.
Find out more about Karen and her programs, blog and books or to
subscribe to her e-mail newsletter at www.lakehousecenter.com.
Contact Karen at lakehousecenter@wi.rr.com or (262) 633-2645 in
Racine, Wisconsin.