Johnnae Roberts

Dr. Beth Burmester

English 4320
November 3, 2014
Stylistic Analysis of Own Text
English 3050: Introduction to Rhetoric and Composition, a class discussing the writings
of rhetoricians such as Aristotle, Cicero, Gorgias, helped me discover how much the writing of
others has shaped the definition of rhetoric for us today. The use of rhetoric in everyday
situations also were discussed and developed in this class. It helped me realize the expansion of
rhetoric from then and now in the 21 st century. The final optional seminar paper was chosen for
further exploration for patterns and repetitive signatures in my writing. This paper investigates
Beyonce and the persona she carries, as well as the music she makes with this in mind.
The signature style of writers differs from one to the next. Each writer does something
that is recognized by readers. For instance, Ernest Hemingway, a minimalist, uses as little words
as possible to convey his message. I am not a minimalist, but I prefer to be concise and clear in
my writing. In my experience, Ive read paragraphs worded to make the writing longer but I find
it is not very effective. In my writing sample, I use examples to get my point across. Along with
these examples, I analyze their relevance to my paper and my platform. In paragraph 2 of my
sample piece, I present Beyonces take on women empowerment. I mention this to refer back to
my previous paragraph that mentions some of the great women such as, Lena Horne, Diana Ross,
and Madonna. My signature style also captures the audience with a relatable topic. The signature
is distinctive because along with the concise writing, relating to a subject keeps the reader
engaged and needing to learn more.

The SMOG Index was the most surprising bit of the data I received because it is a 10.0
grade level. This paper was written for English majors on the collegiate level but seeing that
others in the high school level can read and understand it effectively is interesting. This may also
be happening because of the topic: Beyonce. Many young adults adore her and for that reason
alone would want to see how her brand is an effective rhetorical brand. The strength in this paper
is identified in the rhetorical words, which is for the intended audience of the paper. For
example, Beyonces career can be compared to a syllogistic form, or the form of a perfectly
conducted argument, advancing step by step. The Gunning Fog Index is at a 14.7 showing that
these terms enhance the papers effectiveness and is on the collegiate level. The use of different
rhetoricians when mentioning key points helps strengthening the paper.
For example:
As Hugh Blair stated, human beings have the tendency to use symbols, which
means to make them and misuse them (227). As a performer, Beyonce deals with
all types of people from different backgrounds, countries, and they all share one
common goal: to see her perform live or to listen to her music Beyonce is the
ultimate symbol for people who want to forget about everything and hear
beautiful music in addition to looking at a beautiful woman.
This aids the paper and is a strength, showing that rhetoricians from different periods influence
the celebrities and media today. Beyonce has a brand that has been established by the use of
different rhetorical methods and I show that by showing credible rhetoricians in history.
Something I would like to change about my style in writing in this particular essay would be my
use of filler words and I would use more action verbs to make the reading more interesting. The
topic is an interesting one, but it is the use of action words that will keep the intended audience

even more inclined while reading. If I could change this to make it well-built, I would
concentrate on syntax and making the sentences flow better throughout the paper. A sentence I
would rephrase would be: She does it to emphasize the importance of her fans and show them
that they are special individuals that should flourish and not remain a constant source of
melancholy. This sentence could be confusing because from a readers standpoint they do not
know what it is referring to or the use of the word melancholy. By reading this sentence
alone the context is not clear and it could use more concisenesses for the reader.
This analysis teaches me to look at writing from another view point and concentrate on
phrasing and sentences that could add confusion. Style is the type of tone a piece of conveys and
is given throughout the essay. Through this I learned that style in writing is maintained through
looking in the paper and choosing words that reflect the demeanor set in the beginning of the
piece. This writing will shape my writing because I will read my words more carefully and
decide whether another word or phrase could fit in the same sentence. I will also edit each
sentence for clarity and check phrases to decide whether another word would be more effective
in its place. There are simple mistakes that can easily be deleted if I simply read what is written
and think of more efficient sentences. This influences my attitude as a writer by showing me
what steps I need to take to have good writing. Each sentence should have thought put into it
and be sculpted as if it could stand alone. As a writer, I realize there are steps and a process to get
where I would like my writing to be. From analyzing my work, Ill be able to know what to look
for in the future.
She commands both attention and respect and reinforces the position, that
women are just as capable as men. This is a binary because when flashing money
and her status, it is what a man would usually do but she does it in a

representation of her defiance for the way things are and she is making a blatant
statement for the empowerment of women (Diva).
If sculpted properly, because good writing is like creating a piece of art that everyone can enjoy,
this could stand alone and make sense to the average reader. Rephrased it would sound like,
Beyonce commands attention and respect. While reinforcing the position that
women are as capable as men, she uses the binary technique in an effort to appear
as capable as men she makes a impactful statement for women empowerment.
Alone this revised statement could be read alone and logically adds to the current essay.
This analysis influences my idea about the values in good writing because I know it takes
time to be achieved and cannot simply be achieved by putting pen to paper. That is only half of
the step, but there needs to be more work involved, such as editing while making a conscious
effort to emphasize key points. My values about good writing have shifted to include more
impactful wording. Rhetoric emphasizes the importance of an argument so good writing helps
effectively make a point and addressing a topic with key points. Based on my analysis of my
writing with the use of this essay, some criteria for good writing would be, engaging, while
informative. Good writing should also build upon a common theme and expand with all of those
in mind. Writing has flow, logic, and engages the reader into responding to the writing prompt
with varying opinions. Most importantly good writing is a process. These are characteristics
assisting the writing and allowing it to resonate and captivate the reader.
I aspire to write material that resonates with all types of audiences and shifts the opinions
of others because I believe good writing is able to do that as well. The average grade level I
received from my data was a 12.1. I aim to reach this level and surpass it. I believe my work is

very understandable but I want more detailed writing allowing sentences to stand alone and still
be comprehensible to any audience.
My process will have many changes in it to reflect my growth from analyzing my writing
in this essay. For example, the word per sentence is roughly 26.2 in the sample text. Perhaps
there are words that would fit make lower my word count, while continuing to increase
readability. My Flesch-Kincaid Reading Ease is at 53.6 and this is a good score because it means
the general populations are able to understand this as well as the target audience. Fictional novels
like the Harry Potter series comes for the young adults, but the novel creates a sense of
familiarity with older age groups as well. I aspire to have writing that reaches this type of
audience. Everyone has a Malfoy in their life and just as J.K Rowling, I would like my writing to
be as relatable and retain a fan base. I would continue to push my writing to the next point to be
better. To do this, I would find writers who have reached the career level that I would like to
achieve and see where their strengths are as a writer and follow their steps to obtain my own
writing style.
Other writers learning about their own style of writing should be conscious of repetitive
things in their writing. Repetition happens unconsciously, but I would advise others to analyze
their writing and see what could be taken out to make their work more fluid. Also, look for filler
words because they take away from the writing. Based on this stylistic analysis, become
conscious that all works can be revised for a more thorough piece and also realize information
you researched is not known by the audience. Explain everything as if the intended audience has
never heard of the topic.
By analyzing my own work, I have observations not noticed before, such as the length of
my sentences or my repetitiveness with filler words or not using enough action verbs. The

readability index is at a 12.9, but my work could be much clearer and in a much more formal
tone. Reading the sample text as is, the tone seems more informal and sweet with very stuffy
sentences. This makes the essay more problematic than concise. The abundance of pronouns
keeps the reading from reaching its potential and the absence of correct punctuation and
grammar in certain areas. This analysis showed me that work requires a new pair of eyes,
meaning eyes that look for clearness and succinctness. Through analyzing, I have learned to see
things from the audience point of view as well as an instructor view and from now on I will
become more aware when making decisions in my writing.