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DATING
Harriet Okumu

Issue 35-March 2015

The KEY RING is a monthly publication by the Kampala Baptist Church Media 5.Do you think there are or there should be any guidelines for dating?
Team that seeks to provide an avenue where men and women can share Very much so! And the first place where you get guidelines is the Bible, and you must
knowledge and understanding of the word of God, experiences and encourage
respect Gods word. For me, when I was dating and when I am talking to people who
one another as the older perform the act of paralambano to the younger.
Our prayer is that the Lord will speak to you through this publication.

1.Mrs. Okumu, what

would you like someone reading this Issue
to know about you?
My name is Harriet
Okumu, married to
Tadeo Okumu. I am a
born again Christian
and very proud of that.
I gave my life to Jesus
Christ in 1998 and He
has walked with me
every step of the way. I
am a teacher by
Harriet with her husband Tadeo
profession. I love teaching and I chose that profession because I am very sure that is what God wants me to do. I
currently work as a teacher at the Kampala Baptist Church Creative Learning Center (CLC)
where I teach girls who have dropped out of school between the age of 9 and 17 - it is a
joy to see a changed life of a girl who had dropped out of school going back to school. I
am a very friendly person and enjoy being with people
2.The word dating is thrown around a lot
these days; how would you best define it?
There are numerous definitions of dating
but some of them I dont agree with. In my
opinion, dating is a process where one
chooses to relate with someone, with an idea
of marriage in the background. This
relationship, eventually, may or may not lead
to marriage.

are dating or who intend to date, I refer them to one of my favorite verses in the bible.
Avoid immorality, any other sin a man commits is outside his body, but he who is
guilty of sexual immorality sins against his own body. Dont you know that your body is
the temple of the Holy Spirit who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not
belong to yourselves but to God who bought you at a price therefore use your bodies
for Gods glory. - 1 Corinthians 6:18-20. So when you are dating, chances are that you
are attracted to this person, and because youre human and you have feelings, many
times you may be tempted to have sex or get romantically involved. It is therefore good
to keep it at the back of your mind that even if I am dating this guy or girl that is a no go
area.
We are supposed to abstain from sex because that is the standard the Bible has set for
us that we should not compromise about. When you get sexually involved when dating,
you are fornicating and that is a sexual sin which is against the word of God. Many
times, we put ourselves in compromising situations and we are easily tempted in the
name of dating. For example, you stay alone in the room, your date comes over and
stays until very late in the night, yet you know you are in love with this person and have
feelings for them.
So those standards are set according to how you feel you can cope. You can say for us,
beyond 10:00pm, we cant be together when we are not in a public place. Therefore as
an individual, you have to set your standards. But for me I think I am a bit rigid, any sort
of romance outside of marriage for us Christians is not allowed. When you read Song of
Songs chapter 8 verse 4b says, Do not arouse love until the time is right. And the time
is right when people are married because in marriage you can freely express your love
to one another. The problem today is many
young people say it is okay, we didnt have
sex, it was just a kiss, but all that should be in
the context of marriage. People can make
other standards for example, how do you
dress when going on a date? Many girls today
dress very skimpily because they are going on
a date with the guy they love. If you are
dressed indecently, what message are you
telling him? Are you telling him that am
available but you know dont touch? It is like
you are confusing people around. So the standard must be clear when you are dating so
that there is no confusion and even when you cross over in marriage, some of those
standards have to be maintained. For example, even when you are married, because
you are going out with your husband does not mean you expose your body to
everyone.

there should be people

who know about it

3.As a Christian, is dating or being dated

something you looked forward to before getting married?
Very much! I did look forward to dating and I was excited at that moment but then I was
also confused, in fact very confused though when I got there, it was beautiful. Of course I
dated more than one guy, but one at a time, until I finally settled for the one who is now
my husband.
4.As an arrangement between two people, how open should dating be to those outside
this arrangement?
Personally, I think when you are dating, there should be people who know about it
because I believe in accountability. Even if you are two people, there are people around
you who need to know what is going on in your lives like your friends and your parents.
Before I started dating, my mother used to ask me, You are at campus, are you not
seeing any guys there? When the right person came, I told her about the person I was
dating and she gave her opinion about him. Then I had to tell my pastor, my friends, care
group about him and people were praying for me as they asked for accountability.
Questions like how far, what is going on, are you guys abstaining, were always asked.
That is why it is important to let other people in.
When it comes to going out on dates, it depends on whether one is feeling insecure
especially for girls. If the girl feels insecure, then they need to invite a friend but if that
does not create a good environment for the two of you to talk, then I would advise you to
go to an open place where there are people around you watching at a distance.
For example, my husband and I used to go to the Makerere guest house - it is free of
charge, there is plenty of space for you to sit and talk and there are people around doing
different things which makes it safe.

Harriet, Tadeo and their children

Drop us an email at kbcmediateam@gmail.com Check out our blog at kbcmen.blogspot.com for more or visit the church website at www.kbcuganda.org