Women on the Diamond Way

In Diamond Way we have many inspiring ladies, who are strong and 100 % female at
the same time, who can be taken as an example for both Buddhist and nonBuddhists. Our greatest example was and still is Hannah Nydahl. Her enormous and
tireless work on the side of Lama Ole gives inspiration to even the ones who havent
met her. Their united activity enables us today to use Buddhas highest teachings in
our Western society. A couple whose idealism and endurance shows not only that we
have the potential to reach whatever we aim for, but also that how men and women
complete each other on different levels. Although male and female principles are
inseparable now we look the female aspect a bit more in detail with the help of our
amazing female travel teachers from around the world. May this article be an
inspiration for women and men on the way, Buddhist and non-Buddhist to unfold
their inherent qualities.
Lets start at the beginning. We are a Tibetan Buddhist lineage and these
teachings are available here in the West only in the last 40 years. Could
you tell me something about the cultural background in Tibet? It appears
to me that women and men werent that equal.
Maria: If you have look at Tibet, they had a patriarchal culture, which didnt mean

that the women had no power. The families there used to have a clan-like structure,
which means women had a very strong position at home, especially the ones who
were married and had kids; they had a lot to say. But when we come to religion it
was a totally different field. Here women were associated with everyday basic life
and people wanted to renounce by becoming monks. The lay women were seen as
reminders of samsara, so this is the reason they werent that highly valued, but this
depends on the culture. It is true that we learned Buddhism from Tibetans but we
should learn the useful things. In the West we dont need this limited view that
women are only mothers or have to be at home. Lama Ole also emphasised that we
should try to filter out the unnecessary cultural aspects and only take the essence of
Buddhas teachings.
What is left if we filter out the Tibetan cultural background? What is the
Buddhist approach of men and women?
Michaela: According to Buddhas teachings all beings have the Buddha nature, the
potential to reach enlightenment. Women and men certainly have different qualities,
but the goal is to bring it together to go beyond duality. It is important for both men
and women to appreciate the other sex and seeing their qualities. We open up to
them and they open up to us, then we can develop and learn together. In Buddhism
we have the same value and are allowed to be different. On the Diamond Way it is
totally clear that all beings have Buddha nature, no better or worse. But we come
from different cultures and according to our culture we have different imprints in our
mind.

Maria: We have the best possible example. Lama Ole and Hannah a couple, who
were complete partners, equal in their trainings, completing each other in qualities.
They were both empowered by 16 th Karmapa as his main students, and then they
went and started centers together. They also gave us a very good modern example
of how to transmit this traditional structure of Buddhism, how to let it flow into our
culture.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of being a woman as a

Buddhist practitioner? What are the different qualities of female and male?
Michaela: At the beginning it is easier to open up for Buddhist teachings for
women because we have more of the tendency to look inside. On the other hand we
have stronger disturbing emotions, so men are our protectors, because they can
stay cool, when we are already freaked out. Women are more the wisdom aspect of
mind. We function better on the relative level but we have more concepts and are
more attached to them. Men are closer to the joy state of mind. They are always
interested in new things and having fun while we take ourselves more serious and
remember better what happened in the past and how it should go on. We need this
playfulness, because it is very helpful to go beyond concepts what we really need on
the way. The two complete each other. There is no better or worse. As women we
have the habit of putting ourselves in a lower position, we have to get confidence in
our own Buddha nature. The more confidence we have and feel that we have the
same value as men, the more they will treat us in this way.
Karola: The space quality of mind is female: It is the woman who gives birth, who
holds something. Mind also has the ability to bring something forth, to imagine, to
invent, to be compassionate. This is connected with the male activity. If you are born
in a body, you identify with it so for a woman it is good to know and to be proud of
what we have, as an inclusive pride. Women should have high self-esteem that one
is the carrier of wisdom and of space and can give a lot. One knows how to hold
something, to harmonise but also to protect. For men it is important to learn that
they are not giving up everything when they give, that they are not losing freedom,
when they promise something or make commitment. Their nature is compassionate,
giving and playful and cannot be limited. It is minds nature.
Karolina: A woman has round perspective. She knows what is going on around her.
The space around her is like her own body, while men have a tunnel-like
perspective. For him the space is more like a playground of possibilities, where he
likes to express himself. Women like to have a certain harmony and safety. Maybe
that is why we sometimes have the tendency to control our surrounding. Therefore,
we should learn to let things unfold in their own time and place, without holding, or
controlling them. This gives space for development. Usually, women work from
background. We do such work which is not so visible, but it offers possibilities for

others. Housework is not so visible, nobody praises you for it. You are constantly
working, but nothing is seen. Living like this, women have better chance to see
impermanence and illusory nature of things. Everything is subject to change.
Women in this way are closer to the point, because the change itself points out the
empty nature of all phenomena.
If we already talked about female and male qualities, can you say
something about how do you see a meaningful relationship?
Michaela: The most important is to see that we complete each other, we can
develop together, we can learn from each other and then it is a real richness.
Woman should go beyond the extremes of being dependent on men, or saying that I
can do it alone. We should enjoy the relationship; treat each other as partners with
the same value and we both should have the motivation to make the other one
happy. We should see each other on the highest possible level. At first time it is
easy, but after years it can be hard. Every day we spend half hour on the cushion,
being aware of one own Buddha nature and bring this experience into life that all
beings are Buddhas and our partner is a Buddha. We are bringing in different
qualities and together we can shine on the world. Buddhism is a good basis for a
meaningful relationship.
Karola: When I wrote Yeshe Tsogyals biography, what really touched me was that
the relationship is meant to be the part of your development. I was brought up in a
way that you suppose have a lifelong partner. It is a little bit old fashioned.
Nowadays, I think if one is able to see that every partner brings another part of
yourself to shine, than actually it is a very beautiful picture.
How Buddhism helps to manage everyday life? Many of us have children
and sometimes we have the concept that we dont have time to practice?
How the teachings are useful in this way?
Julie: We are working with the three pillars, by integrating view, meditation and
action into everyday life. I experienced several times, that if you dont practice,
samsara seems more solid and you get caught by different disturbances more easily.
And also then you experience a gap between family life and Buddhism, which
doesnt exist of course. I see Buddhism as a perfect tool to experience the inherent
qualities of mind what one can use under all different circumstances. It is a
challenge. If you are living a busy family life then you easily get distracted and
forget to use the methods. But actually this is the trick of samsara in general.
Buddhism is a toolbox for me. Lama Ole once said that our power is our view, and
definitely this is true. The choice of seeing the potential in everything makes the
difference. I know that practicing makes me a good mother. A good mother for me is
someone who shows the children real values like; love, freedom, self-responsibility,
being independent, joy and courage, exactly what Lama Ole teaches us.

Rka: Sometimes we forget what Karmapa said once, that if we would like to benefit
all we should start with the ones around us. Many cases we think that we would like
to benefit all the beings, do something huge and fantastic and we dont want the
ones around to limit us in this heroic work. Having a child is a great possibility to
learn how to really focus on somebody else and put yourself in the background. If we
are busy we need a tight schedule then we have time for doing a lot. As Lama Ole
often says: Focus on what is front of your nose. If you have a task, whatever it
could be, just try to be in the moment and focus. If you are wondering what else you
could do it just makes you unhappy and the task is still there and undone. You
should try to find the meaning in every activity and see what you can learn and how
you can develop through that. Whatever we do is a step on our way to
enlightenment.
Many times we hear the word dakini for female practitioners. Could you
say something about them and the female aspect of mind?
Michaela: The dakinis are great inspiration and it is wise if men call us like that. The
dakas and dakinis are the givers of activity and they show us different qualities of
our mind. So an outer dakini can be an inspiring woman. But there is also the inner
and secret dakini and they show us the qualities of the mind, mainly wisdom aspect.
But these female forms are never alone; the different attributes are showing the
partner. Its never either or, but both and. If we look at our karma kagy linage, the
main yidam is Red Wisdom in union with Highest Bliss and they exactly represent
these qualities, female wisdom and space, and male activity and joy coming
together. And this is the deepest level how we can learn from each other. When we
meditate on 16th Karmapa with the arms crossed, the meaning is exactly the same.
The dorje shows the male qualities, joy, bliss, activity and the bell is the female
symbol representing space and wisdom.
Karolina: Mind has no gender, neither female nor male, but it does manifests in
different ways. The playfulness of mind, the fact that things can manifest in various
ways is generally recognised as male aspect, and the awareness which is aware of
all that, is recognised as female. Dakini in Tibetan is Kandro, which means Sky
Dancer. It refers to the space like nature, ungraspable and spontaneous. Dakinis
transform emotions into wisdoms. However, unrecognised wisdom manifests as
disturbing emotions. These emotions look very strong and malicious and hard to
control, but when you just let them be in their own place they can show you the
nature of mind. If we are not labelling, or manipulating with them, we give ourselves
chance to see what is really there. For instance, the white, Buddha Dakini associated
with the space element, transforms ignorance into the intuitive wisdom; the blue
Vajra Dakini associated with water element transforms anger into the mirror-like
wisdom; the red Lotus Dakini associated with fire, transforms desire and attachment
into the discriminating wisdom; the yellow Jewel Dakini, associated with earth
element, transforms pride into the wisdom of equanimity; and the green Karma or

Action Dakini; associated with wind element transforms jealousy into wisdom of
experience.
What we call Dakinis are wisdom holders, who appear as forms of energy and light,
or unusual ladies with profound insight, who live with yogis in order to inspire them
to trust in their own Buddha nature. As it is said, through the understanding of
emptiness all Buddhas are born. Yogis lived with these women to get direct access to
the aspect of emptiness.

So after all, what do you think about the topic Women in Buddhism?
Rka: If we try to go beyond duality we shouldnt strengthen this tendency to
separate male and female topics.
Karolina: We can only be defined as a woman, because there is a man and a man
can only be defined as a man if there is a woman. We are inseparable.

Biographies
Maria Przyjemska, born 1975 in Gdansk, Poland. Student of Lama Ole and Hannah
Nydahl, practices Buddhism since 1994, teaching since 2007. Her doctoral thesis in
Tibetology focused on the yogins of Eastern Tibet, where she also extensively
traveled. Maria currently lives in Bonn, Germany where she teaches and does
research at Tibetan Studies Department at the University of Bonn.
Karolina Pospisilova - Puskas was born in 1979, in Czech Republic. In 2000, she took
refuge and became a student of Lama Ole Nydahl. Karolina completed training in
Person-centered counseling psychotherapy and studied Social Sciences and
Psychology at 'The Open University'. She is traveling teacher since 2010 and
currently she works for Happiness Consulting as the founder of Awareness
Intelligence.
Julie Fallon, 36 years old, wife of Steen Fallon and mother of 2 children ( 3 and 5
years ) She is working as restoration architect in Denmark. She took refuge with
Lama Ole Nydahl in 1996 and started as traveling teacher in 2001. She lived in
Copenhagen Buddhist center for 11 years and is the chairman of Karma Kadjy
School of Denmark.
Michaela Fritzges: Born in Berlin, Germany in 1959, I took refuge in 1984 with Lama
Ole Nydahl and became a traveling teacher in 1994. She studied 3 terms at the
Karmapa International Buddhist Institute in New Delhi, India. From 1994-2009 she
lived in the Buddhist Center Kiel in Northern Germany where she is working as an
occupational therapist.

Rka Mthe
Karola Schneider

Edited by Tnde Zilahy