1

CORPLAW7 COMMENTARIES

MADONNA,
BEETLE BAILEY &
THE BILL OF RIGHTS
by Barry J. Lipson

Do you remember when Madonna, clad only in red undies and the
American flag proclaimed:

"Freedom of speech is as good as sex?"

But on that day, over two hundred years
earlier, our founding fathers had beat her to the
punch by proclaiming that freedom of speech and
the other rights set forth in the Bill of Rights are
the organic laws (or Madonna might say the
orgasmic laws) of the United States of America,
the laws by which the United States exists!
That day was December 15, 1791, when the Commonwealth of Virginia, as the
eleventh state to ratify the ten amendments comprising the Bill of Rights, made the Bill of
Rights the keystone of the United States Constitution. Virginia was one of the several
states that felt individual freedoms were so important that they informally conditioned their
ratification of the Constitution on a bill of rights being added.
But, alas, today our children's and our understanding of these rights leave much too
be desired. Too often, our understanding is no greater than exhibited by Beetle Bailey
where, comically in a classic "strip," after being bawled out by the Sergeant for taking off
his shirt while digging a ditch on duty, and being ordered to put it back on, he heatedly
retorted, "No, I know my Constitutional rights." When the perplexed Sergeant asked,
"What rights," Beetle emphatically responded "The right to bare arms!"

Over two hundred years ago, our founding fathers recognized that while a federal
form of government was necessary, the People needed protection against the awesome
power of an unrestrained centralized Federal government; and against the Platonic
realization of what unrestrained democracy really is,i to wit, rule by the mob. To
provide such protection, and to assure not Platonic, but American Democracy, that is,
instead, rule by the Majority with due regard to the Minority, which is what has made
American Democracy unique and revolutionary,ii the first Ten Amendments to the
Constitution of the United States were adopted. To emphasize the extreme importance of
these Amendments, they have been known ever since as "The Bill of Rights."
But, what does the Bill of Rights mean to us today?
The Bill of Rights stands beside us even now as you read this Corplaw7
Commentaries, and:
It protects my right to pun (in fun or to stun), and your rights to read, moan, groan,
snicker, smile (which is a really long word as it contains a "mile"), chuckle, or even
laugh at your PUNstering PUNdit's PUNgent, PUNcturing, PUNishing PUNch
lines.
It protects your right to practice the religion of your choice, or no religion at all.
It protects you from unreasonable searches, seizures and governmental
interference.
It protects you against cruel and unusual punishments, and against unfair arrests
and trials.
It protects you from testifying against yourself.
It limits the powers of the Federal government to those given to it by the
Constitution.
It guards your individual liberty, guarantees your enumerated rights, and
recognizes the need to protect your other fundamental rights -- even though not
specifically set forth in the Constitution.
And it does much more . . .
THE FIRST AMENDMENT guarantees freedom of speech, freedom of the press,
freedom of assembly, freedom of religion and separation between church and state.

Benjamin Franklin summarized how fundamental the freedom of speech is when

he said, "Whoever would overthrow the liberty of a nation must begin by subduing the
freedom of speech." This Amendment guarantees your right to speak up and speak out.
But, of course, it does not guarantee your right to falsely yell "fire" in a crowded theater.
Freedom of the press is closely related to freedom of speech. Just as you can speak
your mind, the press -- in all forms, radio, TV, movies, magazines, newspapers and now
even over the Internet -- can speak its mind. The Bill of Rights guarantees that the
government will not interfere with the press or censor the news. If you are injured by the
press, you can sue for libel, but the government cannot tell the press beforehand what it
may or may not print. Similarly, freedom of assembly or the right to meet together, and
the right to petition the government, are other First Amendment rights that are essential to
your enjoyment of your fundamental rights of free expression.
Additionally, the Bill of Rights protects your religious freedom by protecting you
from being forced to practice any religion; by allowing you to practice the religion of your
choice, or to practice no religion at all; and by mandating separation of church and state.
Separation of church and state protects you from any religious organization being given
preferential treatment, and it guarantees that neither the Federal government nor any State
government will establish or affiliate with a religion of its own, such as, "The Holy and All
High Church of the United States." Be thankful, for if a State Religion was permissible, it
just might not be yours.
THE SECOND AMENDMENT, in order to permit the existence of a "well
regulated Militia," which it recognizes as being "necessary to the security of a free State,"
prohibits the infringing of "the right of the People to keep and bear Arms." The British, of
course, desired to infringe the right of the American Colonies and colonists to keep and
bear Arms. Today, some believe that this provision means that an individual has the right
to bear Arms, and others believe it only pertains to those in an official "well regulated
Militia," and not to the average citizen. This right to bear arms has been interpreted to
permit the controlling of concealed weapons and the outlawing of certain types of
weapons. The Courts are now wrestling with the parameters of this right right now, and
may be writing opinions as I write this, righting prior perceptions. Though, it is not
anticipated that Beetles Right to Bare Arms while on duty will be upheld.
THE THIRD AMENDMENT guarantees that soldiers will not be quartered in
your house during peace time without your consent, nor in war except under a specific law.
This protection sprang from British abuses before and during the American Revolution.
THE FOURTH AMENDMENT protects you against unreasonable searches and
seizures and guarantees your right to privacy. Supreme Court Justice Brandeis called "the
right to be left alone" by the government, the most valuable of your rights.
4

The Fourth Amendment requires that any search or arrest takes place only when a
police officer has probable cause. This means police officers may not arrest or search you
without a link between you and criminal activity, and where there is not an emergency
situation, requires them to first obtain search warrants and arrest warrants. These warrants
are issued by a judge or a magistrate only after he or she is convinced that there is probable
cause for such a warrant.iii
THE FIFTH AMENDMENT prohibits denial of life, liberty or property without
the due process of law. It guarantees that if you are arrested, your arrest and trial will be
conducted according to established legal procedures. It also protects you from
unreasonable police tactics by guaranteeing that you cannot be forced to testify against
yourself. This is sometimes referred to as "taking the Fifth". "Taking the Fifth" is not
legally incriminating or a way around the courts. It is simply an exercise of your right to
remain silent. The government must build a case against you -- you do not have to help it
to do its job. (CAUTION: Taking the Fifth while driving is not constitutionally protected
and can lead to prosecution and conviction for drunken driving.)
Additionally, the Fifth Amendment protects you from being prosecuted by the
same sovereign twice for the same crime; requires, under the Miranda rule, that an
arresting officer must inform you that you have a right to remain silent, along with other
rights, if he or she plans to question you following the arrest; and requires grand juries in
certain federal cases. It also protects your property from being taken by the government
without just compensation.
THE SIXTH AMENDMENT guarantees that you receive a fair trial. It guarantees
a speedy trial, a public trial and a jury trial. In addition, you must be informed of the
charges being brought against you, and you must be confronted with the witnesses against
you. Then too, the Sixth Amendment guarantees your right to have a lawyer when you
face a possible jail sentence, in order to help prepare your case and to represent you at trial.
In such cases, if you cannot hire an attorney, this Amendment guarantees your right to
court appointed counsel.
THE SEVENTH AMENDMENT reinforces the integrity and power of the jury
system by guaranteeing that the facts found by a Federal jury will not be re-examined. The
losing party in a lawsuit may appeal a ruling, but only on points of law or legal
technicalities. Once a jury has decided what actually happened in a case -- the actual facts
of a case -- a party may not ask for a re-examination of the facts, unless there is no basis in
law for the jury's finding of facts.
THE EIGHTH AMENDMENT protects you from cruel and unusual punishment;
protects you from having excessive fines imposed on you as a punishment; and outlaws
5

excessive bail as a guarantee of your appearance at trial. In some countries, you can be
hung or have your hand cut off for stealing a loaf of bread. Thanks to the Bill of Rights,
such punishments are prohibited in the United States.
THE NINTH AMENDMENT guarantees that the rights granted by the entire
Constitution, including the Bill of Rights and the other Amendments, are not the only
rights you have. The Constitution lists many rights and freedoms, but it is not totally
inclusive. It would be impossible to list every right that you enjoy as a citizen of our
American Democracy. The Ninth Amendment guarantees that these other rights shall not
be denied or lessened because they are not enumerated in the Constitution.
THE TENTH AMENDMENT prohibits the Federal government from going
beyond the powers given to it by the Constitution. This Amendment reserves any power
not given to the Federal government, and not prohibited to the States, to the individual
States, or to the People.
Not bad for an over two hundred year old, 362 word document, which with equal
justice protects Madonna, the creator of Beetle Bailey, you and yours truly!
The Bill of Rights . . . the most precious rights you have.
Celebrate it!

Defend it!

Use it!

Your columnist thanks the Kiwanis Club of Pittsburgh, Inc., and the Greater
Pittsburgh Chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union, who respectively sponsored and
help prepare the "broadside" entitled "We the People Celebrating the 200th Anniversary
of the Bill of Rights," from which this column was adapted. Incidentally, this broadside
was extensively distributed throughout the United States, was translated into Spanish and
Russian, and made its way into the Soviet Union before its fall. You could say that the
Soviet government ended up "paying the price" on the Bill of Rights.
Please address your comments, questions and suggestions for future Corplaw7
Commentaries Columns on marketing and business law, and other interesting
subjects to bjlipson@gmail.com .
Copyright8 1991-2011 by Barry J. Lipson.
i

Platos Republic, circa 360 BC.

Barry J. Lipson, Federal Speaking 56, www.scribd.com/doc/34161320/FederalSpeaking-56 .
iii
See Barry J. Lipson, Federally Speaking Patriot Act Compilation Issue,
http://www.scribd.com/doc/34161325/Federally-Speaking-Patriot-Act-CompilationIssue-by-Barry-J-Lipson-May-3-2003 .
ii