7

Aku

/\ uxrquEword in Indonesianis the word 'aleu'for'I'. LJnlike'sa7a',

the other corunon word for 'l','ohtl'has a connotationof
/{
l- I
arrogance,evenegocentrism.It is usedin a negativeway asin
the derived forms'keaku4r',meaning senseof ego, or 'mengaku-aku',
meaning to talk in a boastful way abour oneself. We do not use the
word' saya'to form thesecompounds(i.e.,' kesayaan'
or' mensaya-saya').
'We are reminded of Chairil Anwar, who in the 1940s
usedthe word
'aleu'rn an exceptional way in his poetry. Every Indonesianschoolchild
has surely memorised those lines of this famous poet from the poem
tided 'Aku'-a title that has no equal in the history of modern
Indonesianpoetry:
Aku ini binaungjalang
darikumpulannyatubuang
I am a savageanimal
outcast from his group
hom this r'-se,amongst others, the word 'aku' came to have an
informal feel about it, but yet can alsogive a nuanceof 'blowing one's
own trumpet': both of theseindicatethe,existenceof an unpredictable
relationshipbetweenthe speakerand the spokento, that can developin
all kinds of combinations.Comparedwith this, the word'saya'is like a
straight,saferoad.
How did this all come about?A historian has said that the insranr
SoutheastAsiansopentheir mouths,they immediatelyplacethemselves
r*'ithin a vertical relationship. Speakersof Malay-the origin of
Indonesian-must choosebetween the various words for 'l', 'ahu',
'soya','ptik' or 'hamba',
when making any referencero themselves,
and
berween 'kan', 'tuan', 'onla' or even'Bapak/Ibu'when referring to the
personbeing addressed.
There are alsotwo words, 'ia' and'beliau',for
the third-person singular.
But rimes change,or are seento change.At the time when people
were usuallv using rtre wor& 'saya'or 'lumba'or even 'abdi' or 'kawula'
(shortened
to 'hlo') or'iklem'to refer to 'I', therewas a Chairil Anwar
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using'a&r'. Becauseof this, his usageof this word was like a jolt, and
was intended to place us all on the same level. It was a sort of deliberate
reversal, even destruction, of the commonly accepted vertical relationship.
What is interesting is that later on-after the 1940sthat were so full
of the anticipation of liberty and democracy had been and goneChairil Anwar's type of aku slowly ceasedto signify the destruction of
an uncomfortable relationship. Aku itself even came to be regarded as
an uncomfortable expression. Using 'aku' was considered indicative of a
swollen ego, and of that bug called individualism prodding with its sting
to left and right. Aku created anxiety. Aku was cursed. Now, the safe
way was not only to use the word'saya' to refe r to oneself, but also the
first-personplural forms,'kami' and'leita'.
What we 6nd reflected here, in many ways, is our suspicion of the
individual. What does the individual mean to society, in fact? In our
language the word 'individual' is often translated as'orangseorang',and
in our consciousness,
the individual appearsas a threat to the togetherness
of the group. Sometimes, because we are confused as to whether this
individual is from the group or a sole actor, and particularly if he or she
is considered likely to bring shame on the group, we use the word
'oknum'to describe him or her, a word that has the connotation of 'type'
or 'man'in English, as in'oknum ABRI'_an army type.
It is no coincidence, then, that in his famous poem'Aku', Chairil
Anwar uses the word'jalang' for 'savage' in the same breath as the
phrase 'outcast from his group'. 'We are familiar with the word'jalang'
from its use in the phrase commonly used to curse prostitutes as
'perempuan
jalang' or'savage women'.
Chairil Anwar knew that his rebellion against the dominance of the
group and of vertical relationships within the group was risky. Yet he
was probably not aware that he was truly alone, heroic and also tragic.
For time has shown, in the 6fty years since he wrote that poem, that
it is indeed difficult for people to copy him and use the word 'a&s'with
its punch. Individuals are still seen as trouble-makers. When in 1945
Bung Karno rejected the proposal to include human rights in the
Constitution, this was becausehe regarded the indiuidu,the a&r, as the
basis of social unrest and disharmony. And even now, when we
frequently see individuals being bashed up by the masses,tortured by
the rulers and slanderedby the public, we are still afraid of aku. We feel
safer using the third-person plural inclusive pronoun 'kita', meaning 'all
of us', to refer to'I'.'lil/e do not yet regard the individual as someone
who dares, needsand has the right to stand out, and yet at the same time
is solitary and threatened always.

19 Septemba
1992

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