Disinforming the students and the University community since 1893

volume 28, ISSue 27 TooSday, JaNuaRy 26, 2,010

www.carolinasucks.com

May graduation goes green

Thousands
of diplomas
sent to landfill
in december
provokes uNC to
Stuff | Page 11 replace trash cans
with recycling
Angry pArents sound
off At forum bins at may
Complaints of difficult commencement
courseloads, under-inflated GPAs
and lack of parking for multi-car Art VAndelAy
Future Mustache-wearer
dormdwellers
UNC’s efforts to promote green
living will take a post-graduate step
during this May’s commencement
ceremony, as recycling bins will re-
Recruiting | page 69 place trash cans outside the Dean
Smith Center this year in response
to concerns raised by students and
BetCH looks for faculty.
ACtuAl students Of the more than 2,200 degrees
Foosball coach vows to awarded at the December ceremo-
ny, Condi Synding, a spokesperson
recruit students that may for the department of Reducing
actually come to UNC Waste, estimates more than 1,700
were found in the trash receptacles
near the stage and exits.
“Graduates took the diplomas
from Chancellor Heldin Torpedo,
smiled for the cameras on their way
across the stage and then dropped
a minor in 1950s-era television doesn’t
really allow me to have an office,” she
said. “There’s a little wall space at the
drive-thru where I work, but I was
worried about everyone being jeal-
ous. Not everyone gets a degree from
UNC.”
Franz Fitzgerald with UNC’s regis-
trar, confirmed Brah was right about
the scarcity of degrees awarded at
Carolina, and the heightened scarcity
of degrees less than two months after
commencement.
“We have about 18 percent of un-
dergrads graduate, not counting those
that go to the NBA or jail,” Fitzgerald
said. “And even those that get them
usually toss them out. It’s just not a
valuable piece of paper.”
But, according to Fitzgerald, it’s
DTHell/loIS SHoeleSS
easier for the university to save the
Graduate Theodore Puffinstuff disposes of his newly aquired diploma fol- environment by providing recycling
lowing Decembers commencement ceremony. bins than to try to increase the value
them in the trash cans at the bottom That’s actually how I ended up in this
of the stairs,” Syding said. “I was in job in the first place--well, that and my
of the degree.
“We would need decent faculty, a
the crowd and couldn’t believe what daddy paid some people off.” complete course overhaul and better
I was seeing.” The initiative has been met with students,” he said. “It’s a lot easier to
Synding, an alumna from the class praise by December graduates, who just buy some baby blue plastic boxes
of 1994, said while she also threw weren’t hard to find since they all still to sit outside the Dean Dome.”
her diploma away after receiving her work on Franklin Street. Mork Ellen, a senior in Kevin Ba-
bachelor’s in highlighting other’s faults Lacy Brah, who works at the Vine- con studies, said the move by the
while ignoring your own, she paid to yard Vines drive-thru that opened up university is a welcome change, and
offset her carbon footprint in 1996 by last February, graduated in December, that more could be done to help the
donating $36 to an organization seek- but doesn’t remember what she did environment.
ing to grow trees in Siberia. with her diploma. “They should just loan out lami-
“I saw an Animal Planet special “I always assumed I would hang it nated diplomas to save even more on
about how there aren’t trees there,” up in my office, but then I realized a production costs,” Ellen said. “There’s
Synding said. “I knew I had to help. degree in eyeshadow application with See green PAGe 12

Where are they now: Tailgating just

Tiger Hansbobo got classier
A&E | page slevin
Though changes won’t affect
Former uNC savior most of the 78 fans that fill
Clowns to perform At pit
Tickets for the concert, which
now aims to save Conan Stadium, paperwork
was originally scheduled as an Hollywood may keep other fans from
11-year-old’s birthday, sell out in
less than 30 minutes
tHAddeus williAm Huntington iii distracting players
Yachts and Knots editor

Since Tar Heel fans last saw him, Tiger

Billy gutrige
dean’s assistant, reMeMber?
Hansbobo has gone from flying down the
Spurts | page 19 3/4 court to lighting up the silver screen. The 6’9, When you think wild tailgates, crazy fans and loud
250-pound crazy-eyed former UNC basket- football stadiums the first to come to mind has to be the
ball player was selected from dozens of worthy Carolina Tarheels. And to help make this atmosphere
CoACH’s inJury exposed candidates to play the role of a 6’9, 250-pound even better than it already is the UNC athletic depart-
Investigators find excessive crazy-eyed former UNC basketball player in ment has decided to enforce more rules into its already
amounts of baby oil in Ray a recent AT&T commercial, in which a kind- electric atmosphere.
hearted Hansbobo helps a sad puppy find its The rule changes impose a dress code on attendees.
Williamson’s household way home. No fans will be allowed into the gates of historic Kon-
As per his restraining order, Hansbobo was nan Stadium without the proper dress attire of khaki
not allowed within fifty feet of Mary Smith, pants, and a white tucked-in dress shirt equipped with
the young lady who played the dog-loving either a light blue bow tie, or light blue sweater vest over
damsel in distress in Hansbobo’s feature-film it. With the announcement of the dress code there have
debut. Therefore, his scenes were all filmed been split reactions over it, though students don’t seem
using state-of-the-art green screens. DTHell/MATADoR MASTeRSoN to have a problem with the regulation.
Hansbobo said the green screen provided a Tiger Hansbobo poses with a cardboard cut- “I see absolutely no problem in it,” junior Fresh Mc-
unique challenge and allowed him to showcase out of a dog in an upcoming Puppy Chow ad. Douche, head inspector of bowties and boat shoes for
his talent. the Greek organizations, said. “It is not like we don’t
“At first, uh, I was, like, really confused and one at Performance Acura, which was looking already wear it already, especially the girls. I just wish
stuff. It was all green and I was like, uh…where to advertise its October “Woah” savings event. it could be the dark blue that our football coach seems
is the little girl?” Hansbobo chuckled. The role allowed Hansbobo to showcase his vo- to love so much.”
Dick Schmucker, the director of the ATNT cal talents. However the fans of Carolina who never have actually
commercial, said special dispensations had “I kept forgetting my lines,” Hansbobo said set foot in a classroom in Chapel Hell are outraged. As
to be made so Hansbobo could stick to the as he creepily stroked the front of the car, as he are the local Q-Mart and Wal-Shop as predictions for
MASCOTS| page -5 script. As Hansbobo doesn’t actually have any does several times during the commercial. “Was its second quarter revenues are dropping fast due to the
friends, actors had to be hired to stand in as his it ‘wah!’ or was it ‘wow?’ I wound up having to recent failures of the team and the new rule.
A new erA ethnically-diverse posse at the restaurant. He use cue cards. But since I don’t read so good, “If I ain’t ever heard of the most ridiculous thing in
Sick of Tar Heel/ram confusion, put Hansbobo in an intensive, four-week tex- they had to draw me pictures.” the world, outside of this I don’t know what is,” Cleadius
UNC is seeking a new mascot. A ting class so his performance would be more The dog used in the original ATNT commer- Claxton, a local Waffle Building janitor, but supposed
realistic, but wound up hiring a stunt double cial had to be put down after Hansbobo acciden- diehard fan said. “This is a violation of my personal
profile of the frontrunners. because he pulled a tendon in his left pinkie. tally infected him with the incredibly rare and rights as a fair-weather fan, I can’t afford to buy that
“We decided not to give him any lines early deadly human-canine chlamydia: but Hansbobo expensive of clothes. What happens if they start losing?
on,” Schmucker said. “We thought it would adopted a look-alike and the two hit the road. I will have to find another team. I mean we can’t even
this day in history play to his strengths if he remained silent.” Despite what he called a “promising” NBA career wear the sweet gear that we can get at Wal-Mart.”
After that, Hansbobo was hooked. He fished ahead of him with the Indiana Pacers, Hansbobo The next rule change that will help to take the Caro-
JAn. 26, 1903 around for more acting gigs and finally found See tiger PAGe 12 See CHAnges PAGe 12
UNC-Chapel Hill celebrated its
tri-centennial.
Heels claim Charleston Community College as new rival
weather
CAroline A. Blue
It’s gonna be rainin’ staFF writer  a real school hit a 3-pointer in over- “The Tar Heels are so used to be- in Raleigh has been a growing issue
threes if Glaves plays time, according to the scoreboard, at ing better than anyone else, they don’t on campus for many students. Two
The Tar Heels suffered a re- least, the Heels had lost. have a real team to call their rivals,” open forums have thus far been held
Uglier than Kress leng sounding defeat from Charleston In true Carolina spirit, however, stu- Lauren said. “This is detrimental to to discuss how insulting it is for the
Community College this season, dents, faculty and fans are respond- the player’s mental state. Hopefully Tar Heels to even have to play the
because apparently being ranked ing to this mind-blowing defeat by Charleston will give them the chance Wolfpack.
index No. 9 in the nation at the time did
not automatically entitle them to
embracing their conquerers as their
new rivals.
to play a team beyond their level of
perfection.”
Mink Chump, a senior in social
networking studies, has created a
Rate my cardigan.................................. ....... 28
Ask Fratty McFratFrat................................... 27 sweep their non-conference com- “We look forward to playing Player Dean Trampson said he is Facebook group for people to vent on
How to spend more money.....................28 petition. Charleston Community College happy with the valiant effort his team their frustration with Moo U taking
Wine recipes......................................................27 Abercrombie Hollister, a sopho- again,” Wilttums said. “I see poten- put up against their opponents. Carolina’s focus off of Charleston.
Mass Sudoku............................................... 28-27 more in Carolina fanatics, said he tial for a real rivalry here. They will “It isn’t like we were playing an “Apparently State fans like to think
doesn’t agree with the outcome of probably beat us most of the time but easy team like Moo U,” Trampson that UNC and N.C. State are the two
the game. we will still have a chance.” said. “We met our match in Charles- biggest rivals. Obviously this game
CorreCtions “It’s just not right,” Hollister said.
“An unranked team just doesn’t
Some say the Rams’ lack of a decent
rival could have led to the loss.
ton Community College. We played
a good game but in the end they just
proves that Charleston Community
College and UNC are the only rivals
If you have any corrections, beat a No. 9 ranked team.” Dr. Polo Lauren, a sports psycholo- had something we’d never seen before. that matter,” Chump said. “State
type them up on your macBook After some guy from Waxhaw gist, said the Carolina players are They didn’t just let us dunk.” fans need to get over the idea that we
airs in Century Gothic, print who probably pissed Ray Wilttums suffering from a syndrome known as The question of a non-existent ri- care more about beating them than
them out on resume paper and off preventing him from playing at “rival identity disorder.” valry with that agriculture school Charleston.”
throw them in a recycling bin. WE HOPE THAT NO ONE WAS HARMED BY THIS SPOOF EDITION OF THE DAILY TAR HEEL. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO REAL NAMES OR PLACES IS ENTIRELY
We never make mistakes. COINCIDENTAL. UNLIKE OUR COMRADES DOWN THE ROAD, WE LIKE TO HAVE FUN.
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Spirited crowd gathers at Ram Roast

Ram Roast brings together chanting after the women’s game,
students in anticipation of but the crowd booed them away.”
Carolina game According to Thompson, the
Ram Roast went a long way to
Nick Tran draw more attention to the wom-
News Editor en’s basketball game which was
Monday.
Students displayed their excite- “We saw a ton of students walk-
ment for the impending game ing to the [women’s] game and
against Carolina Monday night, it looked like we had some new
and into early Tuesday morning, fans,” Thompson said.
at the fifth annual Ram Roast. According to Thompson, the
The Ram Roast began as an Traditions Committee made it
effort to pre- a point to in-
vent Carolina crease turn-
students from “It’s just a good out this year
painting t he by improving
Free Expres- time and it’s good advertising for
sion Tu n nel the Ram Roast
Carolina-blue, to get everyone out through Face-
but i n t he book, sa nd-
past years has here.” w ich boards
evolved into Bryan Maxwell, a junior in civil around cam-
a pep-ra l ly engineering pus and fliers.
where students “We planned
c ou l d s h ow to chalk up the
t hei r school c a mpu s but Jordan Moore/Technician
spirit and support against the it rained on both of the days we Dustin Haigler, a sophomore in agricultural education, adds the finishing touches to his painting of a wolf
as part of the Ram Roast Monday evening. Haigler’s elaborate wolf was one of many that was painted in the
University’s rival. planned,” Thompson said. “But
Free Expression Tunnel as a way to prevent the tunnel from being painted by Tarheels. “I’ve been drawing
Chandler Thompson, a member we’re glad more people still turned this wolf since I was 6” said Haigler, “It was on the back of my hat, so I would draw it instead of doing math.”
of the Traditions Committee of out.”
the Alumni Association Ambas- There were many activities at There were also many oppor- Eddie Young, a freshman in en- a lot of fun and you can’t be too
sadors Program, was the primary the event to keep students enter- tunities throughout the night for gineering, tied for first place in the mad about losing a contest where
organizer of the Ram Roast and tained and spirits high such as students to win tickets to tonight’s first wing-eating contest, but lost you get to eat wings. It was good
oversaw the events through the music, karaoke and food which men’s basketball game against in the sudden-death round which to see people getting excited for
night. consisted mostly of a pig pickin’ Carolina, including wing-eating followed. the game against UNC.”
“We’re very excited all these and wings provided by Wingzone. contests, a four-square tourna- “It would’ve been nice to win Bryan Maxwell, a junior in civil
people turned out,” she said. “We Earlier in the night, students gath- ment, a basketball contest and an one [a ticket], but if they don’t engineering, attended the event
had a group of Carolina students ered at the Tunnel to paint the en- Amazing Race-style competition have enough they don’t have
try to walk through the Tunnel tire length red. on campus. enough,” Young said. “It was still roast continued page 3

Howl for Haiti raises $8,531 in first week Infrastructure poses

Arth Pandya
Staff Writer
Howl for Haiti, the campus-wide disaster
relief effort to aid Haitian earthquake vic-
tims, has raised funds totaling $8531 in the
past week, according to Kelly Hook, Chief
of Staff for the Student Body President.
The total includes the fundraiser at last
week’s NCSU-Duke basketball game, along
with student and group donations.
“About $6,500 was collected [at the Duke
game],” said Mike Giancola, director of the
Center for Student Leadership, Ethics, and
Publice Service.
Giancola, however, said the total as of
date exceeds the official total.
“What has been deposited is $8,531.10.
There’s more, but that’s what has been de-
posited as of Friday,” Giancola said.
Giancola said fundraising at the basket-
ball game was less than expected.
“The game was a week after the disaster,
and a lot of people had already gave dona-
tions, through text messages,” Giancola
said.
Hook said she was optimistic the relief
effort would raise $50,000 in funds with-
out any problem.
“We raised $8,531 in just one week, so
I’m sure we can do it,” Hook said. “We
plan on collecting to the end of the school
year.”
Many events and fundraisers are cur-
rently being planned by student groups,
such as “Date for Quake” — a date auction
presented by the Park Scholars, a fashion
show by the College of Textiles, along with
a benefit concert, alumni dinners, and rib-
bon sales in the Brickyard.
Tomorrow, the Quad is hosting “Quad
Means 4 Drive” —an all you can eat pan-
cake dinner fundraiser— at 8 p.m. in the
Honors Village Commons Multipurpose
Room.
“Many organizations on campus have
contributed to the effort through mon-
challenges to aid delivery
Staff Report
A 7.0-magnitude earth-
quake, which struck Haiti
Jan.12, killed an estimated
150,000 people. In the wake
of the devastation, both in
material and loss of life,
the international commu-
nity has attempted to ad-
dress Haiti’s problems and
look to the future for ways
to completely redevelop its
decimated capital, Port-au-
Prince.
At a conference on Haiti
relief Monday, international
leaders addressed the long-
term redevelopment of the
nation.
One of the biggest issues
to come out of the meet-
ing, and others, has been
the problem of delivering
incredibly large aid pack-
ages to a country that had a
limited infrastructure, even
before the earthquake.
Likewise, the political in-
stability, past and present,
raises large problems for in-
ternational aid. Addressing
those issues, Jim Ceresnak,
Student Body President
said, “Haiti has a history of
political turmoil and a lot
[of the effort] is about the
long-standing problems.”
The Ceresnak-led Student
KiMberly rochesTer/Technician Government has taken on a
Elvin James, a junior in First Year College, holds up a “Help Haiti” sign in front of the substantial campus initia-
Atrium Tuesday. “We’re from the Xi Zeta chapter of Phi Beta Sigma,” said James. “We’re tive for Haiti relief called
collecting money for the Haiti relief, we’re accepting donations.” The fraternity was “Howl for Haiti.” In asso-
giving away pizza to anyone who gave a donation.
ciation with Stop Hunger Now,
SG hopes to raise $50,000 for
relief.
Students who have friends,
classmates or family members
who have been to Haiti have
heard first-hand accounts of
the difficulties associated with
delivering the aid, even when
it’s collected.
Issac Owolabe II, a senior in
aerospace engineering, has a
friend in Haiti working for a
non-governmental organiza-
tion. He said, “it’s a blessing
and a curse at the same time.”
Owolabe said, “the country
... already [had] a weak infra-
structure, so it’s kind of like
the earthquake already struck
down the things that were there
before.”
As far as the delivery, Owo-
labe said,”It might take a little
longer.”
The reconstruction of Haiti
is likely to be a long-term com-
mitment, but many people in-
cluding the leaders of “Howl for
Haiti” remain optimistic.
Ceresnak said, “What this
destruction has brought [is]
a lot of international focus on
the nation and on the coun-
try, and so I hope with the
help of the community, Haiti
can recover from the disaster
and start fighting some of the
long-term problems that have
existed there.”

etary or item donations, as well as volun-
teering their time and ideas,” Hook said.
In addition to campus efforts, several
area restaurants also raised money for re-
lief efforts with “Dine Out for Haiti” this
past Sunday and yesterday.
Over 40 Triangle restaurants donated 10
percent of their sales to the relief fund-
raiser, organized by Chef Amy Tornquist
of Watts Grocery in Durham, with the pro-
ceeds benefiting Partners in Health and
Family Health Ministry.
According to Tornquist, the community
turnout was great, as business increased.
“We had a slight uptick in business. We
were more happy to bring in new folks to
the restaurant,” said Tornquist.
Tornquist said the amount of restaurants
insidetechnician
participating in the fundraiser reflected
how community minded the Triangle res-
taurant community is. Bugs infest local authors
“I think the support is amazing, espe- crime series
cially considering the economy and the fact See page 5.
that most restaurants are pretty slow this
time of year,” Tornquist said. viewpoint 4
features 5
classifieds 7
sports 8

BEAT THE HEELS

page 2 • tuesday, january 26, 2010 Page 2 Technician

Corrections & Through Sarah’s lens Campus

Clarifications CalendaR
January 2010
Su M T W Th F Sa
Send all clarifications and
corrections to Viewpoint Editor 1 2
Russell Witham at editor@
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
technicianonline.com.
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23

Weather Wise
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
31

Today:

Today

FACES AND MAZES

Gregg Museum of Art & Design,
noon to 8 p.m.

50/26 HOW TO WRITE A RESEARCH

INTRODUCTION
Talley Student Center Room 3118,
Mostly sunny but cooling off with noon to 1:30 p.m.
westerly winds between 5 and
10 mph.
WITH LATHE AND CHISEL: N.C.
Wednesday WOOD TURNERS AND CARVERS
Gregg Museum of Art & Design,
noon to 8 p.m.

50 AUDITION ORIENTATION AND

30
Mostly sunny with winds out of
Experiences from the past enlighten the present AUDITIONS FOR MACBETH
Thompson Hall,
7 p.m.
the southwest between 5 and 10 photo By Sarah Tudor
mph.

O
n Monday night the First Year College program, held its spring Convocation seminar. The keynote speaker of the
Thursday night, Warwick Arden, interim provost, talks to the students of the FYC program about his first-year experience
57 in college at the University of Sydney. Convocation allowed students to acknowledge their academic advisors
as well as fellow students who are active in their community.
37
Mostly sunny with easterly winds
between 5 and 10 mph.
Source: Broadcast Meteorology
In the know Jonathan Kraftchick:
Personal Finance
World & guards, which accused them
of killing Iraqi civilians in POLICe
Nation BlOTTER
December 2007. The court

28th Annual for Live in the Real argued the constitutional

rights of the guards had
Sisterhood Dinner World January 21

on the Web
See exclusive audio/photo
slideshows. Answer the online
poll. Read archived stories.
There’s something new every day
at technicianonline.com.
Check it out!
Summer in Maine
Males and Females.
Meet new friends! Travel!
Teach your favorite activity.
Tennis
Waterski
Swim
Softball
The Council on the Status
of Women of N.C. State will
be holding the 28th Annual
Sisterhood Dinner at the Talley
Student Center Ballroom. All
faculty, staff and students are
invited to attend the dinner,
which is being sponsored by
the Council on the Status of
Women, The Women’s Center
and the Office for Diversity
and Inclusion. The dinner will
feature guest speaker Shawn
Ladda, of Manhattan College,
president of the National
Association of Girls and
Women in Sports, who will
give a presentation entitled
Jonathan Kraftchick, manager
of Training, Development &
Recruiting at Cherry, Bekaert and
Holland, L.L.C., will be speaking
at the Walnut Room of Talley
Student Center on learning to
manage money early on in your
career. Developing good money-
management skills can help you
to build financial stability for
your working life and retirement.
Co-sponsored by the University
Graduate Student Association,
Kraftchick will speak on student
loans, IRAs, 401Ks, life insurance,
disability policies and taxes. The
speaker will present on Feb. 5
from noon to 1:30 p.m.
Pakistani
military says
no new Taliban
offensive soon
The Pakistani government
announced Thursday the
Pakistani military has no
intention to launch any new
assaults this year on Taliban
refuges near the Afghan
border. This represents a
major setback to the Obama
administration, which has
been attempting to pacify
Afghanistan by striking major
been violated during the
investigation and proceeded
to throw out the case.
This ruling has caused
controversy amongst Iraqis
and has prompted Prime
Minster Nuri al-Maliki to
prepare a lawsuit against
the company, now renamed
Xe Services. Vice President
Joseph Biden said Saturday
the United States would
appeal the federal court’s
dismissal of the case against
the former Blackwater guards.
Source: MCT Campus
Japan, U.K. set
9:43  PM | Check Person
Dunn Avenue 
Staff member was given verbal
warning for riding bicycle at night
with no head light.
1:19  AM | Check Person
Avent Ferry Complex 
Officer spoke with student in
the area and explained rules and
regulations. Subject complied to
leave.
11:51 AM | Concerned
Behavior
Talley Student Center 
Investigation initiated into
behavior exhibited by student.
12:57  AM | Disturbance

$500 million
Gymnastics Archery “From high heels to sneakers: Bell Tower 
Silver Jewelry Rocks Women making strides in Source: NCSU Campus Calendar
Taliban sanctuaries along the Report of altercation. Officers
Afghan border.
English Riding
Copper Enameling
Soccer
Pottery
sports.” The cost is $20 for
tickets to the event, which will The U.S. stragety in international in the area did not locate any
problems.

fund for Taliban

Basketball Lacrosse Afghanistan hinges on  
be from 6:30 to 8 p.m, Feb. 4.
Field Hockey Office ousting Taliban elements from 9:30  AM | Medical Assist
Theater Costumer
Canoe
Photo
Sail
Source: NCSU Campus Calendar Pakistan, primarily in the North
Waziristan area which houses rehabilitation Student Health Services 
Units responded to students
Newsletter Kayak the leadership of the Haqqani The Japanese and British in need of medical assistance.
Ropes Arts network, considered to be the governments have entered
Get involved in technician
Student was transported.
Dance most dangerous insurgent a joint agreement with the  
June to August. Residential Camp. group in Afghanistan. Major government of Afghanistan 11:03  PM | Concerned
Athar Abbas, Pakistan’s chief to establish an international Behavior
Enjoy our website.
Technician is always looking military spokesman, said any fund of $500 million to Off Campus 
for people to write, design, copy new offensive against the sponsor a new kind of anti-
Apply Online edit and take photos. If you’re interested, come to our office on the
Student was arrested by RPD for
Taliban would have to wait terror program. The money assaulting nonstudent. Judicial
TRIPP LAKE CAMP for Girls: third floor of Witherspoon (across from the elevators) Monday to until next year. funds programs to draw referral pending.
1-800-997-4347 Thursday 9 a.m.
to midnight and Friday, 9 a.m.
former Taliban members out  
and attempt to reintroduce 11:37  PM | Larceny
w.tripplakecamp.com to 4 p.m., or e-mail editor@technicianonline.com. Source: MCT Campus
them to a normal, civilian Landscape Services 
life. The fund will provide Officer stopped nonstudent
money for job training and observed with copper wire. Staff
U.S. will appeal living expenses as the former
Taliban members transition
member was contacted and
identified copper. Subject was
Blackwater from their former militant arrest and charged with Felony
lifestyles.
ruling, Biden
Theft of State Property and
Trespassing.

says
Source: MCT Campus  
3:30  PM | Safety Program
Last month a federal court Off Campus 
dismissed the charges against Officer conducted safety
Blackwater private security program.
 

We are looking for

volunteers age 18-35
who are overweight to advise Duke researchers
about how to make cell phones easier to use for
achieving a healthier lifestyle.

> Participation consists of up to two small group

meetings with other participants and the researchers.
> We will ask you to review our plans for recruiting a
diverse group of young adults into the research study.
> Participants will receive a gift card worth $25 for
attending each meeting.

Leave a message at 660-6685 or send a

message to Lin00004@mc.duke.edu for more
information. Duke IRB approval # 18786
Technician Viewpoint tuesday, january 26, 2010 • page 3

{Our view}
Be a fan, if nothing else
T he annual men’s home The unsigned editorial is the opinion of the members of Technician’s death.
The FacTs: basketball game against editorial board excluding the news department and is the responsibility In that tradition, it behooves
The Pack will play host of the Executive Editors.
Tuesday evening to the Carolina is one of the students to celebrate the Uni-
University’s long-standing University’s most honored Graves — “the man” for the tion look less like the proud versity Tuesday evening. Win
rivals from Chapel Hill. traditions. Students, current Carolina game — a warm winner of two NCAA titles in or lose, come out to the game
and past, revel in camaraderie Wolfpack welcome. But those men’s basketball and more like — in person or in spirit. Be a
Our OpiniOn: at the Ram Roast the evening fan!
A competitive atmosphere jeers and good-spirited boos a backwards school dominated
before the game and bear the are not an invitation to lose fo- by rednecks — in the worst There will be Carolina fans at
creates an exciting and
invigorating façade winter’s cold at the Campout cus on the true meaning of the sense, of course. the RBC Center for the game
around the game. in an effort to gain admission game and its meaning to the That isn’t the heritage of the and they might rub students
Students should take that to the big show. University. University’s fan base or it’s the wrong way — that’s a giv-
enthused spirit and direct The events in the lead-up to Alumni and students can players. Reynold’s Coliseum en. But that doesn’t necessitate
it toward support for the those couple hours are quintes- Wolfpack fans follow suit.
Wolfpack, pushing the support the Pack while still is one of the most storied sta-
team — a composition
sentially N.C. State. It becomes maintaining a shred of de- diums in the entire country; Treat the game as an opportu-
of students’ peers — to more than a game. Students’ cency; respectful behavior and David Thompson was Michael nity to celebrate the basketball
victory. peers out on the court become avid support are not mutually Jordan’s inspiration and, per- team and uphold the long and
surrogates in a very palpable exclusive. haps, the greatest college bas- proud institution the program
and fierce form of rivalry. In the past, students, admit- ketball player to ever play the has forged through the years.
Die-hard fans are expected, tedly, have engaged in behav- game; and Jim Valvano has a
almost obliged, to give Will ior that makes Wolfpack na- legacy unparalleled in life and

Homework means
do it later
{ in yOur
wOrds
What are you doing
}
for the UNC game

B
race yourself. There is courses, like lawyers do, or the on Tuesday?
no such thing as home- continuing medical classes like Why or why not?
work. doctors do. Could you imag-
But what is homework, any- ine a country in which doc- By KiMBERly RoChEStER
way? Such a term puts the work tors are not forced to continue
off until a later time by neces- their medical educations? The
sity. What’s the reason for not continuing their
point of say- education is that professors al-
ing, “I’ve got ready subscribe to the “truth”
some home- and are supposed to distribute
work to do it as such – at least supposedly.
later,” when all After they get their doctorates
we really mean of philosophy, everyone as-
is, “I’ve got sumes professors keep up with
Jake Goldbas some procras- the “truth” because if they do “I’m planning to yell a whole
Staff Columnist tination-work not, they lose their jobs. (Gen- lot. I’m going to the game. I
that I’m going erally, professors have to pub- Be afraid. be very afraid. didn’t get a ticket through N.C.
to procrastinate on right now?” lish about the “truth.” “Publish State so I had to buy one. I hate
If it were important enough to or perish,” so to speak.) Christian O’Neal, freshman in mechanical engineering Carolina.”
do in the meantime, professors Professors sat in the seats we
Andy Bernard
would tell you to do the work are sitting in. In the case of one
junior, aerospace engineering
after class. of my philosophy instructors,

Religion is not the bad guy

When I was in seventh grade, he literally sat in the seats I sit
I would complain to Mrs. Ga- in. Nevertheless, professors
vett when she would hand out are supposedly masters of self-
worksheets. I said, “Is this teaching after they receive their

T
homework?” And she would doctorates. These days, profes- he older I get, the sma ll number of people. only comes from those who
say, “This is now work.” She sors do not sit in seats like we more I see and hear These extremists do not carry are religious; that is sim-
said it with enough bite to last do anymore because they sup- adversity towards re- the true messages of their re- ply not true. Religiously-
me until now posedly know ligion. The most notorious ligion. Even if you look at the inclind people misbehave
– clearly the e nou g h s o opposition crusades, there were three goals too, but those who are more
words reso- “Could you that they do to religion in mind: gold, glory and God. religious should have more
nated. not have to. that I can The last was mixed in as a way reason to act morally if they “Just go crazy. I’m going to
We do not imagine a country C ou ld you think of is of legitimizing the crusades. believe in the consequences the game. I camped out with
imagine a that lie outside the law. eighteen people for tickets.”
live at home Bill Maher. Religion was not responsible; it
anymore, in which doctors whole bunch Maher has was irresponsible selfish inter- Maher would advocate Sagar Patel
anyway. The of these suggested ests. Religion is not about land that faith is a value of not
places we are not forced 40-year-olds that reli- or gold; it’s about compassion thinking. We all have faith
freshman, First year College

work — our
to continue
dormitories,
t he col lege
buildings and their medical
the college li-
braries — are
educations?”
not home.
Homework,
then, is a word of and about
procrastination. There is work
that has to be done now and
there is work that does not have
to be done. If work cannot or
does not have to be done now,
it does not have to be done. The
professors hand it out in class,
or mark it on the syllabus and
never talk about it, but the rea-
son for putting work off until
after class is because suppos-
sitting in a Chad gion w ill
class and lis- Rhoades cause the
tening? It is de at h of
laughable and
Staff Columnist
mankind
I am not sure a nd t hat
why. They be- those who believe in reli-
lieve in it for gion are irrational.
their students But, I would argue that
for the sake of academia, which religion plays a vital role in
they are trying to encourage both morality and society,
us toward. If you watch them one that should not be ig-
closely, they do all of their nored.
work, as soon as they can, in The founding fathers
their offices. They do not be- built this country with a
lieve in homework. If they conscious head about reli-
did, they would not be hired. gion. We have the right to
Encourage yourself toward the worship and choose what
“truth.” Do the “now” work. we believe, but there is a sol-
The work is either capable of id line between church and
being delayed and therefore not state — as there should be.
and understanding. Don’t look
at the actions of the few and
generalize them to the whole.
Religion helps people to cope
with stress and promote per-
sonal health. Those who are
religious have understanding
for how and why things are
happening to them, and cop-
ing mechanisms to help them
deal with stresses that are all
too plentiful. They are less
likely to look towards drugs
and alcohol as an escape.
Religion encourages respect
for designated authorities,
whether it be in the family or
the government.
Religious families have a
genetic connection, but also a
to some extent. Christians
have faith in Jesus. Muslims
have faith in Allah. Atheists
have faith in the idea that
there is no god.
To say that everything in
the world can be explained
rationally is obtuse. There
are some aspects of life that
just cannot be explained
through rational thought. “I don’t have plans for the
game; I’d love to go though.
Religion should not be vic- I’m sure the day of I’ll hear
timized and dismissed as something and go watch it.”
irrational. Religion is im-
portant and has positive Rachel Andrews
functions in society. “And sophomore, fashion and textile
let us with caution indulge management
the supposition that mo-
rality can be maintained
without religion. Whatever

edly the professor’s individual
words are more important.
Sorry, but unless you are in a
class with Professor Einstein,
professors’ words are second-
ary to truth itself, which is
mostly the readings, Webas-
signs, maple assignments and
Vista assignments they are
teaching.
The emphasis on academic
literature exists in professional
academia, of course, even if it is
only implicit in undergraduate
academia. Professors do not go
to Continuing Legal Education
really important, or it is impor- Religion allows there to be
tant and must be done. Either a set of moral guidelines for
way, homework is a humbug
term.
people to live by that bene-
fits both the individual and
the community in which he
Send Jake your thoughts on or she lives.
homework and continuing edu- Religion teaches us that
cation to letters@technicianon- we should model our lives in
line.com. a responsible ways. Maher
would suggest that religion
causes wars; it’s quite the
contrary. Religion promotes
peace and understanding.
Religion does not cause vio-
lence, extremists do.
Violent “religious” acts
are committed by a very
strong emotional connection.
They have a set of moral values
that help guide decision mak-
ing in the household. They also
teach respect towards one an-
other, which is unfortunately
becoming the exception and
not the norm. Respect for par-
ents translates into respect for
all authoritative figures wheth-
er it be teachers, law enforce-
ment officers or the law itself.
Religion provides answers for
why there are laws and why
they should be followed. It
would be a stretch to say that
ethical and moral behavior
{ }
may be conceded to the in-
fluence of refined education Online
on minds of peculiar struc-
ture, reason and experience pOll
both forbid us to expect
that national morality can This week’s poll question:
prevail in exclusion of reli- Did you request and
gious principle.” — George
Washington receive a ticket to the
men’s basketball game
Send Chad your thoughts against Carolina?
on religion to letters@tech-
nicianonline.com. • yes
• no
• I don’t care because it doesn’t
affect me
Visit www.technicianonline.com
to cast your vote.

Deputy News Editor Deputy Features Editors Deputy Sports Editors Photo Editor Deputy Design Editor Technician (USPS 455-050) is the official student newspaper of N.C. State University
Alanna Howard Justin Carrington Taylor Barbour David Mabe Nettie Fisher and is published every Monday through Friday throughout the academic year from
Nick Tran Caitlin Cauley Tyler Everett photo@technicianonline.com August through May except during holidays and examination periods. Opinions
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Jessica Neville Design Editor Laura Frey on Technician’s pages are the views of the individual writers and cartoonists. As
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Fax 515.5133 sports@technicianonline.com Zakk White
Online technicianonline.com State Student Media. All rights reserved.
Page 4 • tuesday, january 26, 2010
Roast
continued from page 1
for two hours before partici-
pating in the basketball contest,
in which he won a ticket to the
Carolina game after making a
shot from 75 feet.
“It’s just a good time and
it’s good to get everyone out
here,” he said. “People are just
standing around hanging out,
and there’s a giant [Wingzone]
chicken walking around creep-
ing people out for the wing-
eating contest.”
Kelly Burns, a freshman in
business, won the second wing-
eating contest and was awarded
a ticket to the Carolina game
as well.
“I didn’t have a ticket so I just
couldn’t pass up the wing eat-
ing contest,” she said. “I won
the wing eating contest at the
College Inn over the summer
News TechNiciaN
“We had a group of Carolina students
try to walk through the Tunnel
chanting... the crowd booed
them away.”
Chandler Thompson, a member of the Traditions Committee of the
Alumni Association Ambassadors Program
so it was more of the same.” 50 people signed up to par-
Burns said the number of ticipate in the Amazing Race
people attending the Ram at N.C. State which was held
Roast was a display the Uni- at 1 p.m., the winner of which
versity’s spirit. would also be awarded a game
“It’s great to see everyone ticket.
out here getting excited to beat Students who signed up to
UNC,” she said. “I think people guard the Tunnel rotated ev-
will be out here all night, espe- ery two hours throughout the
cially with the different com- night and early into this morn-
petitions which will be held. ing to ensure the Tunnel stayed
We’re pretty school-spirited red for today’s game.
so I have confidence there will
still be people here late.”

2009-10 FIDELITY INVESTMENTS

LEADERSHIP IN TECHNOLOGY
EXECUTIVE SPEAKERS SERIES

Tim OBrien/Technician
Presents January 28, 2010 Travis Gasque, junior in turf grass management and agriculture business, and Jay Dawkins,

Keith Collins 1231 EB2 - 6 pm senior class president, hand David Lewis, freshman in First Year College, tools to fix the
basketball goal at the Ram Roast event Monday.
Sr. VP & CTO, SAS Institute Talk is free & open to the public!

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Technician Features Science & Tech

tuesday, january 26, 2010 • page 5

Bugs infest local

author’s crime series

Novelist tim DowNs

uses fictioNal Ncsu
eNtomologist as maiN
character
an d r
STory By jessica Neville e
talk t w sirls, a
o tim f re s h
w h at D m
t h e y o w n s i n a n i n co m

W
were the B p u te
hen local author Tim Downs abou o r
t,” sai okstore s engineer
d sirl a t u rd ing, a
read an article in a science maga- s. Bef a n
ore le y. “i heard d Derek s
a ving, h ch
sirls e was sign ell, a fresh arisa akers
zine about the field of forensic entomology, M
boug i
ht Do g book man in en Technician
n /
he knew he had found the perfect theme for an original wns’ s
list of books: nove and i wan gineering
l, Pla
suspense novel. Eight books later, all the novels in the g u e m te d to s e e ,
aker.
“Bug Man” series have become national bestsellers — and Bug Man series:
• shoo Fly pie
N.C. State is sharing in the fame. • Chop shop About Downs:
• First the dead
Downs has a daughter, Kelsey
“It seemed like everything his wife took a quiz that told them • Less than dead
• ends of the earth Downs, who will graduate with
in crime fiction had been done they would enjoy living in North a degree in graphic design from
before,” Downs said. “When I Carolina. Other Novels:
• plagueMaker the University this year. Apart
heard about forensic entomology “My wife and I grew up in the • Head game from being an award-winning
it was fascinating to me. Foren- Midwest but didn’t want our chil- novelist, Downs created a comic
sic entomologists don’t fit in at dren to grow up in California,” strip, “Downstown,” which was
crime scenes — they are people Downs said. “We’ve never regret- syndicated by Universal Press
Syndicate in 1986. His cartoon
with Ph.D.s in the study of bugs ted moving to North Carolina.”
designs have been published
who just happen to be using that This past Saturday Downs host- in more than a hundred
knowledge in crime situations.” ed a book signing at the Campus newspapers worldwide.
Downs created his main char- Bookstore featuring his latest before but I thought they looked source: chancellor’s office
acter in the “Bug Man” series release in the “Bug Man” series, interesting,” Sirls said. “I’m really
with this idea in mind. Nick “Ends of the Earth.” interested in the bubonic plague,
Polchak, his central character, is “Ends of the Earth” focuses on which is the focus of this book.” tery suspense. The author plans
a fictional professor of entomol- the dangers of agro-terrorism, Downs said students should en- to release his first romance and
ogy and forensic entomologist at which Downs believes should be joy the books because of the local comedy novel, entitled “Wonders
the University. of special interest to many Uni- setting, such as Polchak’s office Never Cease,” this spring.
“Dr. Nick Polchak is a strange versity students. location in Gardner Hall. “I know I will have at least one
man because he loves bugs but “Agro-terrorism is a type of ter- “In the ‘Bug Man’ series Nick more ‘Bug Man’ story,” Downs
doesn’t like people,” Downs said. rorism in which countries attack travels to a new city in each said. “But we’ll see where it goes
“Bugs are rational and predict- another nation’s crops and live- book,” Downs said. “One book from there.”
able but people stock, which can takes place in New Orleans right
are not. Nick be just as detri- after Hurricane Katrina, for ex-
identifies more “When I heard mental if not ample. ‘Ends of the Earth,’ how-
with bugs than more than other ever, takes place right on
he can w it h
about forensic types of terrorist N.C. State’s campus.”
people.” attacks,” Downs The books should also
According
entomology it was said. appeal to students because
they are fun to read and
to Wes Wat-
son, professor
fascinating to me.” Dow ns con-
sulted retired will give students a break
of entomol- Tim Downs, University pro- from textbooks, accord-
og y, forensic author of Bug Man series fessor of en- ing to Downs.
entomology is tomolog y J.R. Christy Bright, a recent
based on gath- Bradley for in- graduate student from
ering information relative to a formation on agro-terrorism. Texas living in Raleigh,
crime by examining the insects Bradley said Downs’ books ac- came to the book sign-
associated with the crime. curately portray biological and ing Saturday to meet
“Factors such as temperature, entomological information and Downs.
moisture and daylight are con- should be a fun read for students. “I heard of his books
sidered by forensic entomolo- “The books are easy reads and through my family,”
gists to determine when insects also interesting and entertain- Bright said. “The
arrived to the body,” Watson said. ing,” Downs said. “They would ones I’ve read I re-
This information can be used to appeal to students because they ally liked because
determine the time of death at a move fast and never get boring. they stand on their
murder site. At the same time, they deal with own in the fiction
Watson developed an under- real issues, such as agro-terror- category.”
graduate course on forensic en- ism, that could hypothetically All of Downs’
tomology for the University a few happen at our school or in our eig ht novels,
years ago. Students interested in state.” wh ich i nclude
the subject could also take crimi- In the novel, the crime scene is the “Bug Man”
nal science classes. According to an organic farm in rural North series and other
Watson, some forensic entomolo- Carolina, where Dr. Polchak is novels, are clas-
gists have crime scene training, surprised to find that the vic- sified as mys-
while others learn during on the tim’s estranged wife was an old
job situations. friend. Polchak reconnects with
Downs contacted Watson for the woman while working to stop
one of his novels that dealt with an agroterrorist from unleashing
the potential use of insects as bio- an environmental holocaust on
logical weapons. the entire world.
“Entomological warfare has Andrew Sirls, a freshman in
been used throughout history computer engineering, went to
and is definitely a potential threat the book fair and decided to buy
in the future as a form of terror- Downs’ book “PlagueMaker,”
ism,” Watts said. winner of the Christy Award for
Downs went to college as a the best CBA suspense novel in
graphic design major in Indiana 2007.
but moved to Cary after he and “I hadn’t heard of his books
Page 6 • tuesday, january 26, 2010
nanobytes
Google unveils first
mobile phone
The Nexus One is the first mobile
phone Google has produced itself.
It is currently being marketed
as the best Smartphone on
the market to date. The phone
features Android 2.1 phone
software and provides easy
access to Gmail, Google Calendar,
Google Voice virtual phone-
number service and Google
maps. Compared to the iPhone
3Gs, the Nexus One is narrower,
although its screen is bigger
and displays a higher resolution,
additionally it has double the
memory. The phone sells for $529
with all carriers but only comes
at a discounted price with 3G
resolution on T-mobile’s service.
Source: msnbc.msn.com
Scientists map
genome of common
cold
The common cold, also known
as rhinovirus, affects billions of
people around the world every
year in more than 100 different
variations. Researchers have
not been able to find a cure for
the common cold because of
the diversity of the virus and its
ability to evolve. Scientists at
the University of Maryland and
the University of Wisconsin-
Madison have begun mapping the
genome of each strain of the virus,
however, which will allow them
to subgroup the virus and better
understand its complexity.
Source: www.cnn.com/health
Ten One Design
announces Trackpad
tablet for MacBook
A new application for MacBooks
produced by Ten One Design
allows users to practice their
drawing skills at a much lower
cost than traditional drawing
tablets. The Inklet features
adjustable pressure sensitivity,
fully customizable workspace
size and shape, handwriting
recognition and compatibility
with Photoshop and other
common drawing programs. The
program is available to download
online at tenonedesign.com for
$24.95. A free limited download
is offered for users to test out the
application.
Source: http://www.tenonedesign.
com/inklet
RAMP-UP takes engineering
into local classes
University students make
science and math hands-
on in local classrooms
Justin Carrington
Campus & Capital Editor
Imagine towers built of
marshmallows and spaghetti
noodles, destructed comput-
er hardware or marbles sub-
merged in a bucket of water.
These structures may seem
ordinary to the untrained
eye. But to participants in
the College of Engineering’s
RAMP-UP program, these
are items that can help teach
math and science to students.
The program, Recognizing
Accelerated Mathematics Po-
tential in Underrepresented
People (RAMP-UP) is a $2.5
million grant project. As a
result of funding by the Na-
tional Science Foundation’s
GK-12 Program and the GE
Foundation, the outreach
program has been up and
running since 2004.
According to Lynn Albers, a
graduate fellow with the pro-
gram, the purpose of RAMP-
UP is multifaceted.
“Our mission is to impact
three key stakeholders,” Al-
bers said. “The three groups
are the K-12 students in Wake
County public schools, the
teachers in Wake County
and the N.C. State University
undergraduate and graduate
students.”
In order to do this, the
program pairs undergradu-
ate students with teachers
throughout multiple schools
in Wake County.
“Through working in the
public schools, the under-
graduates get to work one-
on-one with the teacher in
the classroom by helping to
prepare lessons, working in
small groups and tutoring,”
Albers said.
Maribeth Evans, a senior in
middle grades math and sci-
ence education, acknowledg-
es that the purpose of RAMP-
UP is not just to boost grades
of underrepresented youth
Features
and their appreciation for
math and science. The pro-
gram also strives to provide
role models for these students
that they can relate to.
“We bring a different per-
spective,” Evans said. “We
are younger than the regular
class teachers for the most
part. We can build more
friendships into our relation-
ships with the kids, so they
respect us more and feel more
comfortable asking for the
help that we provide as posi-
tive role models.”
According to Evans, some
of the students she has en-
countered over her past two
years with RAMP-UP didn’t
believe in the prospect of at-
tending four-year universities
upon completing high school.
However, after interacting
with them, Evans said some
of the students find them-
selves actually pondering the
idea of college.
“At the beginning of the
year, when I first started,
some of the kids would say,
‘Oh, I don’t want to go to col-
lege,’ or ‘College is stupid,’
or ‘I don’t really think I can
make it,’ and then they start
talking to us and we show
them that it is possible.”
In order to get students
to do the math and science
that they previously avoided,
RAMP-UP incorporates a
wealth of hands-on activi-
ties that are both intellec-
tually engaging and fun for
students.
One example of this is a
project that the RAMP-UP
Fellows designed last fall.
“We created a competi-
tion where the students built
windmills out of milk car-
tons, Popsicle sticks and in-
dex cards,” Albers said. “We
brought in a fan and they
had to design a windmill that
could raise a Dixie cup from
the floor to the top of a table
as fast as possible.”
The students are not the
only ones on the receiving
end of this grant project.
In addition to the Wake
County students, the under-
Science & Tech
Technician
Contributed by lynn albers
Maribeth Evans, a senior in middle grades math and science education, Shaylee Norton, a
senior in mathematics education, Lynn Albers, a graduate fellow, Amber Spolarich, a junior
in chemical engineering, and Karen Achtyl, a senior in chemical engineering sit outside the
McKimmon Center on May 16, 2009, during Junior Solar Sprint (JSS). RAMP-UP helped more
than 25 students in grades three through five from Washington, Fuller and Bugg Elementary
Schools build solar cars to compete in JSS.
graduate students partaking this past semester, attributes Even the engineering stu-
in this experience also benefit a lot of her professional devel- dents benefit from participat-
greatly from the program – opment to RAMP-UP. ing in the program.
especially those planning to “Before R AMP-UP, I’d “As one of our students
go into teaching fields, as they never been in a classroom said, ‘If you can explain
have the opportunity to gain as a teacher and I had never something to a third grader,
incredibly valuable teach- planned and taught a lesson,
ing experi- so RAMP-
you can explain it to any-
one,’” Albers said. “As engi-
enc e t hat “...the education UP gave me neering students, our greatest
w ill come a gateway hurdle is overcoming shyness
in handy in
their ow n
students ... to stick my
toes in the
and the inability to commu-
nicate. This program helps all
classrooms
one day.
really enjoy the water before
I ju mp e d
engineering students improve
their communication skills.”
“The
feedback
experience and it right in.”
Accord-
Perhaps the best thing,
however, is the joy that comes
t h a t I ’v e helps make ing to Al- from the kids who are most
received bers, Evans directly affected.
f r om t h e them better i s n ’t t h e “It’s a beautiful thing to see
education on ly one a fourth grader on the day of
students is student-teachers.” who has the science fair beaming with
t hat t he y developed pride over their project,” Al-
really enjoy Lynn Albers, graduate fellow as a result of bers said.
the experi- RAMP-UP.
ence and it “Many of
helps make them better stu- them start out being very shy,
dent-teachers,” Albers said. “I and by the end of two years,
get the pleasure of watching they want more, they want
them grow not only academi- to run their own clubs, they
cally but emotionally.” want to do more lessons, they
Evans, who student-taught want to teach the class more.”
TECHNICIAN Sports TUESDAY, JANUARY 26, 2010 • PAGE 7

RUSHING
continued from page 8
BY THE NUMBERS
5,250 Monday night’s
attendance
The Tar Heel run ended at the
six minute mark when Strachan
put in a layup to put the Pack
“I think they were more
aware of where I was more
in the second half, and that
in Reynolds up, 25-20. The Wolfpack went changed me as far as having
victories and campus bon- Coliseum into halftime without having time to get my shot off,” Stra-
fires after Duke victories. allowed a single three-pointer chan said.
Not once do I remember 1,000 point milestone
reached by and leading the Tar Heels by With three minutes to go the
either school rushing the Nikitta Gartrell one point, 29-28. Heels were up, 71-62. The Pack
court after winning. And during the game Senior forward Lucy Ellison never seemed to get a foothold
that’s because they expect drains two buckets at the start in the rest of the contest and
to win. 40 combined
points from the of the second half to increase committed several personal
This year above all years Wolfpack bench the Pack lead to 33-28. State fouls to end the game. Junior
we should expect to beat benefitted from some early guard Italee Lucas ran the
Carolina. The team our 35 free throw
attempts by UNC- misses from the Lady Heels court, scoring 28 points in the
men’s basketball team will Chapel Hill that turned into baskets on the second half of play and finish-
face is not the team that won other side of the court. Junior ing the game with a career-high
the National Championship 33 points from
Tarheel guard forward Tia Bell sank a three- 33 points. Lucas hit key free
last season. It isn’t the team Italee Lucas pointer to increase the lead to throws down the stretch to put
that could take the court 42-34. the Pack away, 81-69.
and blow out any opponent 18 free throw
attempts by State The Tar Heels countered the “I felt like our kids come
on any given night like last run with a run of their own as to win every night, and we’re
year. 1 times Kellie
Harper has
they went on a 10-3 scoring all very disappointed that we
Carolina will put out coached against
spurt in 1:03 of game play. This weren’t able to do that tonight,”
a young, inexperienced UNC-Chapel Hill run shortened the Pack’s lead to Harper said.
team, a team that is 1-5 away just two with about ten minutes The loss puts the Pack at 12-8
from home with its one vic- COMPILED BY LINDSEY HALL to play in the game.  With eight ( 2-3 in the ACC.) The Pack

tory coming at a neutral site
against Ohio State. This is
a team that has lost three
games in a row, a team that
has fallen out of the Associ-
ated Press Top-25.
State will not be facing
a Final Four-caliber team
tonight. It may not even be
facing an NCAA tourna-
ment quality team.
So celebrate when we beat
UNC. Take to the streets and
dance the night away.
But don’t rush the court.
Don’t admit that you did
not expect the Pack to pull
out the victory. Don’t expect
the Heels to come into our
house and stomp all over us.
BBALL
minutes left in the ball game, plays its next game in Char-
the Tar Heels took the lead on lottesville, Va. Wednesday at
a basket by junior guard Italee 7 p.m.
continued from page 8 Lucas to put the Heels up 57-51.
State’s offensive game stopped
clicking as the Heels changed
DAVID MABE/TECHNICIAN
“That’s when you have to be at defensive schemes in order to
Head coach Kellie Harper directs the women’s basketball team at your best mentally, and your cover Strachan, the leading
the game against UNC-Chapel Hill Monday night. The Wolfpack toughest, and we weren’t.” scorer for her team in the first
lost, 81-69.   half.
THE MAN
continued from page 8
shots from behind the arc this sea-
son, making up more than a third
of his team’s 3-point attempts. In
PREVIEW
continued from page 8
for other people because of his speed and
quickness and ability to get inside. We
have two guys on the floor like that. It
Seinfeldian, he’s a chucker. Plus, his makes us a different ball club.”
Tonight, “The Man” is Will Graves  redshirt year was 2006-07, so he was that his play when he is on the floor  But, at the end of the day, Lowe feels
About “The Man”: A redshirt ju- on the bench when the stands emp- with guard Javier Gonzalez elevates the that the most exciting part of this rivalry
nior majoring in sociology, Graves’ tied onto the court when N.C. State entire team. comes down to the enthusiasm that comes
9.5 ppg ranks him fourth on the last beat the Tar Heels; he’s due.  “I think Farnold is giving us that other from the fan base of both schools.
team. He’s also made 36.7 percent of Then there’s last year’s mysterious guard for us. One [gives] us speed, gives  “A Carolina fan might be your next-
his attempted three pointers, a big suspension that was bad enough for us another ball handler, and several door neighbor,” Lowe said. “I think [you
deal since he’s chucked an average of Roy Williams to suspend him for teams double [Gonzalez], Farnold will will] be able to tell from the fans what it
4.6 deep balls per game this season.  the season, but not bad enough to bring it up the floor,” Lowe said. “Plus means. That’s important.”
Why we got beef: He’s thrown up 88 warrant him leaving the program. from that position, he’s created shots

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Level: 1 2 3 4

FOR RELEASE JANUARY 26, 2010

Los Angeles Times Daily Crossword Puzzle

Edited by Rich Norris and Joyce Lewis

ACROSS
1 “I did it!”
5 Outplays
10 Jack’s inferior
13 Holly genus
14 Draw a better
bead on
15 Pitcher Hideo
16 *Big name in
tequila
18 Gossip tidbit
19 Abu Dhabi’s
federation: Abbr.

Thursday,
20 *Mexican
muralist
22 Actor Brody of
“The Pianist”

January 28, 2010

24 Pep
25 __ one mind:
disagreeing
26 Fri. preceder
29 Short film role

Sudoku By The Mepham Group

30 Some
31 On the double
33 *Spanish painter
Solution
Level: 1 to2 Wednesday’s
3 4 puzzle 1/31/08
VS. (1746-1828)
38 For all to see
By Dan Naddor 1/26/10
DOWN Monday’s Puzzle Solved
Complete the 39 Submissive
1 Baja border city
41 Gas brand with a 2 What you “take”
grid so each row, landmark sign when you sit
column and Carolina Hurricanes New York Islanders
outside Fenway
Park
45 Vegas cube
down
3 Military no-show Lookin’
3-by-3 box
(in bold borders)
COLLEGE NIGHT PRICING
46 Iraqi seaport
47 Opposed (to)
4 Lumberjack’s
tool
5 UCLA player for the
contains every
digit 1 to 9.
Game-Week Price Box Office* Online
49 “The Picture of
__ Gray”
50 *Roger Federer
6 Extra wide, on a
shoebox
7 Puppeteer Tony
answer key?
rival 8 VCR successor
Sideline Premier $90 $45 $40 54 Gold units: Abbr. VISIT TECHNICIANONLINE.COM
For strategies Lower Level South $80 $35 $30 55 Big pictures:
9 Campfire treat
10 For the full length
Abbr.
on how to solve Lower Level North $80 $35 $30 56 Home to this
of a pregnancy
11 Come to light
Sudoku, visit Upper Corners $40 $20 $15 puzzle’s theme 12 “Skip the
58 Fight-ending sandwich
www.sudoku.org.uk. calls, briefly dressing”
(c)2010 Tribune Media Services, Inc. 1/26/10

59 Insect stage 32 Happy Meal 43 Nonstick coating

Save up to $50 by purchasing online 60 Animal whose fur
15 Skin care brand
17 B-G link extra 44 Lawn makeup
was used for 21 Working 34 Lariat loop 46 Western tie
© 2008 The Mepham Group. Distributed by Tribune Media Services. All rights reserved. www.CarolinaHurricanes.com/college Crockett’s cap
61 Word that forms
undercover, for
short
35 Poet Khayyám
36 “That’s not news
48 Spanish hero
played by
a city when 23 Corn Belt state to me” Heston
*Canes College Night tickets are not available for purchase at the Box Office within 7 days of the game. combined with 26 Gave it a shot 37 Soda-making 49 Willem of
To receive the Box Office discount, tickets must be purchased at least 7 days in advance of the game the first names in 27 Mubarak of process “Spider-Man”
with a valid college ID. answers to Egypt 40 Topeka natives 51 Appoint
starred clues 28 “I give up!” 41 Insertion marks 52 Actor Alda
62 Slow to catch on 31 Angel dust, 42 The Donald’s 53 Uses a spade
63 Barley beards briefly daughter 57 Color TV pioneer

Solution to Monday’s puzzle 1/26/10

Complete the
grid so each row,
column and
3-by-3 box
(in bold borders)
Sports PAGE 8 • TUESDAY, JANUARY 26, 2010
MEN’S BASKETBALL
Pack set for rivalry game
Gymnastics takes
second at EAGL quad Pack set for rivalry game
meet Team hopes to bounce
The Pack finished second at back at home after loss to
a quad meet this weekend at Maryland
West Virginia. It went up against
three opponents, and the Pack’s Jeniece Jamison
compiled score of 193.225 trailed Senior Staff Writer
only host West Virginia (194.000).
However, it was enough to beat
Maryland (193.000) and George The Wolfpack is looking
Washington (188.650). As a team, to win back to back games
State won both bars and floor out against its biggest rivals as
of the four events. Sophomore it takes on the Tar Heels
Jess Panza stood out among tonight in the RBC Cen-
the competitors, leading her ter. The game is one of the
team in the all-around, floor and Pack’s biggest games of the
beam events. Freshman Morgan
season and coach Sidney
Johnson led the team on vault
and senior Taylor Seaman paced Lowe is currently hard at
the Pack on bars. work preparing for the
game against the defend-
SOURCE: N.C. STATE ATHLETICS
ing National Champions,
the Tar Heels.
State, 13-7 (2-4 in ACC)
Football players is coming off of a 88-64 loss
against Maryland, but Lowe
to be honored at is looking for his team to
convocation bounce back and step up to
the challenge the Heels, who
Four football players were have a 12-7 (1-3 in ACC)
honored at Freshman Honors
Convocation on Jan. 25, 2010.
record. The Tar Heels have
Hans Rice, Darryl Cato-Bishop, struggled lately as they have
and Jesse Riley were among those lost their last three games,
who received the distinction. The knocking them out of the
convocation recognizes freshman top-25 and 11th place in the
African-Americans, Native ACC. But no matter how the
Americans and Hispanic students team is struggling the Pack
who have earned a 3.0 grade understands what the Heels
point average their first semester.
are capable of.
SOURCE: N.C. STATE ATHLETICS “We got another task at
  hand, a tough ball game
coming up. We have to be
Campus Recreation ready to come out and play
the way we’re capable of. We
to host ball hockey have to create opportunities
tournament and defend,” Lowe said.
Lowe thinks that the tra-
Campus Recreation will host dition behind the rivalry
its first Ball Hockey Shootout will bring the best out of
Tournament on Feb. 6 at the his team, even though UNC
N.C. State outdoor basketball
has won nine of the last 10
courts. The Carolina Hurricanes
will host the tournament meetings, including a 93-76
and representatives from the win at the RBC Center and
Carolina Youth Amateur Hockey a 89-80 win in Chapel Hill.
Association will also be there. “It’s all because of history,
Prizes will be given out to the tradition of the two schools
winning team. and obviously the proxim-
SOURCE: CAMPUS RECREATION ity and location,” Lowe said.
“As a player it’s a great deal;
it’s a great rivalry. It’s one
of the best rivalries in the
country, and it will always
ATHLETIC be.”
SCHEDULE
January 2010 WOMEN’S BASKETBALL
Heels down Wolfpack, 81-69
Su M T W Th F Sa
1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
Tar Heels coast to second
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
half lead behind Italee
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
Lucas’s 33-point game.
31
Today Chadwick O’Connell
MEN’S BASKETBALL VS. NORTH Staff Writer
CAROLINA
RBC Center, 9 p.m. The Wolfpack Women’s
basketball team hit the floor
Wednesday of historic Reynolds Coli-
WOMEN’S BASKETBALL AT seum Monday night for a
VIRGINIA
Charlottesville, Va., 7 p.m.
contest against its rivals, the
North Carolina Tar Heels.
Friday
MEN’S AND WOMEN’S
Before the game there was
a moment of silence in me-
TRACK AND FIELD AT NORTH morial for the late Coach
CAROLINA MEET Kay Yow, who died one year
Chapel Hill, all day ago Sunday.
“It’s not the same over
WOMEN’S TENNIS VS. EAST
CAROLINA
here without Kay,” North
J.W. Isenhour Tennis Center, 4 p.m. Carolina Coach Sylvia
Hatchell said. “I like Kellie
and think they’re doing a
great job. But I don’t think
QUOTE people give Kay enough
credit for what she’s done
OF THE DAY for women’s basketball.”
The first half started with
the Wolfpack and the Tar
“That’s when Heels going back and forth
with both teams working
you have to be aggressively on the defen-
sive side of the ball. State
at your best, was quick to force turnovers
against the Heels, but the
and mentally... Wolfpack found it difficult
to capitalize off of the Tar
we weren’t.” Heel mistakes.
The Pack had some open
Women’s basketball head looks at the basket, but had
coach Kellie Harper trouble getting into an of-
fensive rhythm. With 12:18
THURS DAY, JANUARY 28, 2 010
Save up to $50 by purchasing online www.CarolinaHurricanes.com/college*
To receive the Box Office discount, tickets must be purchased at least 7 days in advance of the game with a valid college ID.
COUNTDOWN
• 23 days until the baseball team opens its season
against La Salle University
TECHNICIAN
Sophomore forward Tracy Smith dunks the ball on UNC during the Jan. 31 game in the RBC
Center. After showing promise through much of the game, the Pack fell 76-93.
As someone who has expe-
rienced the frenzy surround-
ing this game firsthand, Lowe
calls upon his experience as a
player to help his team. But he
is careful not to place too much
pressure on his players.
“We can’t ever put the weight
to go in the first half, senior Ni-
kitta Gartrell hit a two-pointer
to surpass 1,000 career points
in her Wolfpack career.
About halfway through the
first half, the shots started to
fall on both ends of the court
as junior forward Brittany
Strachan nailed two three
pointers off the bench for the
Pack. Her two threes put the
Pack up 16-12 with 10:27 left
in the first half. Tar Heel coach
Sylvia Hatchell sensed that the
Pack was on a run and decided
to call a timeout. Her players
got the message as they went
on a run themselves and tied
the game up at 18 points apiece
with eight minutes to go in the
half.
“I think it’s been important
all year long that we know what
we get from Brittany when she
steps on the court. She’s been
very consistent with her role
and that’s huge,” Pack coach
Kellie Harper said.
State and Carolina both had
their troubles throughout the
first half making shots as both
teams were 31 percent from the
field in the first half. The Tar
Heels were able to keep it close
as a result of second and third
chances underneath the basket
and held a distinct advantage in
offensive rebounds in the first
half, grabbing 13 to the Pack’s
eight.
“When things weren’t go-
ing well and they were mak-
*Canes College Night tickets are not available for purchase at the Box Office within 7 days of the game.
INSIDE
• Page 8: Find out who will be “The Man”
for the UNC-N.C. State men’s basketball game
CHRIS SANCHEZ/TECHNICIAN ARCHIVE PHOTO
of the past on these guys be-
cause they weren’t part of that,”
Lowe said. “To put a negative
thought in your mind about
what’s happening -- I wouldn’t
do that.”
The play of guard Farnold
Degand will also be critical to
Senior guard Nikitta Gartrell goes up for a shot against North
Carolina center Tierra Ruffin-Pratt at Reynolds Coliseum
Monday, Jan. 25, 2010. Gartrell had seven points in the game,
notching her 1,000th career point in the first half, becoming
the 26th Wolfpack player to accomplish the feat. The Pack lost
to the Heels 81-69.
ing their run, that’s when you
need it the most,” Harper said.
the team in defeating the
Tar Heels. He has been
averaging nine points per
game throughout the ACC
schedule, and Lowe feels
PREVIEW continued page 7
BRENT KITCHEN/TECHNICIAN
BBALL continued page 7
COMMENTARY
Rushing to
conclusions?
Bad idea.
The SportsCenter highlight
of the night last Wednesday
was the Pack’s victory over
sixth-ranked Duke. As stu-
dents rushed
the court at
the end of
the highlight,
anchor Scott
Van Pelt put
it best when
he said, “It
Brent doesn’t take
Kitchen much these
Senior Staff Writer days.”
Has the
culture around our basketball
program stooped so low that a
victory over any in-state “rival”
is deemed worthy of a court-
rushing?
These victories should not
come as a surprise. State has
a division one basketball pro-
gram. The University gives
athletic scholarships to stu-
dents every year so they will
come to this school and help
win these games. So why do we
act surprised when we actually
do win?
I was in the stands as the Pack
took down the Blue Devils this
past week just as I was in the
stands when the Pack took
down the Demon Deacons at
the RBC Center last year. And
both times, the students rushed
the court.
But this year I was not one of
those students.
When I rushed last year I
asked myself, “Why are we do-
ing this? Shouldn’t we expect to
be this good?”
But the answer is unques-
tionably, “No.”
Wolfpack nation does not ex-
pect its team to be good enough
to beat the teams that it dares to
call rivals. By rushing the court
after beating a team, the stu-
dents are telling the world that
they were huge underdogs and
that even they didn’t expect to
come out on top.
Rushing the court is more
than a show of excitement. If it
was a mere show of excitement
then anytime the home team
won in the Duke/UNC rivalry
there would be a court rushing.
But there’s not. Both Duke and
UNC expect to win every single
time they play.
But that doesn’t take away
from student excitement when
they do win. The students still
go out after the game to cel-
ebrate.
Growing up in Durham, the
lasting images of celebration
after the UNC vs. Duke games
were students partying on
Franklin Street after Carolina
RUSHING continued page 7
Re-introducing:
The Man
In a tradition that made
Reynolds Coliseum the most
feared stadium in the ACC dur-
ing the ‘70s, ‘80s and early ‘90s,
the student body would choose
a player on the opposing team
to scream at the entire time he
held the ball.
Technician would like to re-
kindle this tradition beginning
with tonight’s game against the
Tar Heels.
THE MAN continued page 7
VS.
28-27 Toosday, JaNUaRy 26, 2,010 Opinion

Andrew dung leftover MeMbers Quote of tHe dAy:

SITH MaSTer, 555-5555

“He actually thought it was ok to

oweSMeabeer@UncSUckS.coM caMeroon porker
MereDeaTH DIngalIng
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wear a T-shirt and jeans tailgating.
of exceptional math greg MegAPiss
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Pur l. sAnityzer, junior in broadway musicals

EDITORIAL feAtured online reAder coMMent

“LeRoy just wouldn’t stop screaming

What’s the big deal about an extra $200? We spend until I apologized for not wiping my
that much on athletic socks. feet before I got in his Maserati. ”
“cArolinAblew68,“ on a story about fee increases

T he General Assembly passed a min-

iscule $200 tuition increase in Au-
gust for all UNC system schools.
As preposterous as it is that this topic is
still being discussed, it seems as though
Street bailout; otherwise our fathers would
have spoken of it on Cape Cod. It must be
a new gimmick, certainly students should
recommended its immediate cessation to
their parents — they must band together
crites to Gitmo for their impotence.
Some students might begin to feel a
shred of empathy for the agriculture
and engineering students. Spending
their days with dirt on their hands and
due to the introduction of angus beef at ram’s head

Letters to the editor Kvetching board:

the proletarians at Moo U and Party U are and use their connections at this crucial
resisting the change. time to ensure its defeat.
Of course, we already knew of their in- The Association of Student Governments
eptitude and lack of sophistication, but has, among other things, decided to resist
how foolish of them not to just pull the the legislation by presenting a petition
money out of their trust funds or go ask signed by students to the Board of Gov-
mother and father for the money. ernors. How absurd. Although, the peti-
The students at those lesser institutions tion did create quite the ruckus on campus
are apparently complaining that their fi- when the volunteers passing it around im-
nancial aid won’t cover the increase. We’ve plied that it was a list to purchase special-
never heard of this “financial aid,” it doesn’t edition Calvin Klein Carolina cardigans.
sound like TARP or some sort of new Wall Surely, Auntie Bev will send those hypo-
Why we came to this school
without all the invigorating classes
in ancient Greek and Latin. But look
at it from this perspective, they could
forego the vintage bottles of Cabernet
Savignon and drink cheap $20 or $30
bottles for a week — a small sacrifice.
And as much as it might be painful to
think it, those students could give up
buying Lacoste polo-shirts and consider
down-grading to Ralph Lauren for a few
months.
Hansolo deserves shot
to save print media
I’m so disappointed that
you haven’t tried to bring the
brilliant media talent of Tyler
Hansolo to the newspaper. He’s
just so talented in all those tele-
vision commercials!
Given his awesome expe-
rience with basketball and
stuff, I figure he’d be awe-
some to comment on things
like tuition increases and
all that huge administration
kvetch:
Dean should start calling
security to take the refs out
of the game when they make
calls against our team. And
Butch Davis should do the
same when people boo or refs
make bad calls against us in
football.
Franklin Street needs more
places where I can go be a
hipster and drink beer all
night.
I’m like so sick of N.C. State
people saying we are rivals

Williamson: Life is hard enough without teasing

iMuf ukHed
leader of men
Thanks to the conservative
lean of the polls and the me-
dia’s obsession with teams with
winning conference records,
the men’s basketball team
has fallen from the top 25 for
the first time ever. In fact, the
last time Carolina was not the
greatest basketball team in the
universe was well before any
of the current undergraduates
were legally able to drive their
BMWs and Audis.
It truly is a time unlike any
UNC fans are used to, and with
this in mind, Ray Williamson,
the UNC basketball coach, has
a grounded request for all who
attend tonight’s showdown at
the RBC Center: that fans not
cheer against his Tar Heels,
raise their voices, or act like
bullies by calling his players
bad names.
Moo U fans and students are
blowing up their Web forums,
asking why he thinks it appro-
priate to make such ridiculous
demands, especially of another
team’s fans, but according to
Williamson, he has his reasons.
“It’s already a burden for
Head coach ray williamson reassures one of his players after
he was called a bad name at last year’s game against Moo U.
these players to leave Chapel
Hell for four or five hours on a
Tuesday night, especially when
they have class the following
day,” Williamson said. “All I’m
asking is that fans either cheer
for the Heels or remain quiet.
And one more thing; is it so
wrong to ask to see some car-
digans? I know everyone who
didn’t graduate from UNC is
inferior, but I really wish people
would at least attempt to dress
as if they deserve to walk our
earth.”
DTHell/Drew larry XIV
The game will not be played
at the Dean Dome. And Wil-
liamson will not be able to eject
anyone from the hockey arena
where Moo U plays for asking
Ed Doovis to multiply three
times four off the top of his
head. Neither will he have the
power to have the police arrest
anyone who makes disparaging
remarks about the modeling
career that awaits Tyrone Zeeler
after his basketball career ends.
Making matters worse, the
game of basketball is becom-
ing more and more compli-
cated. Williamson said the
ever-increasing complexity
of the game of basketball is
another reason fans should
use their manners and in-
side voices, if they insist on
cheering for the home team.
“Players who struggle to
spell their own names have
more than enough on their
plate trying to decipher the
meaning of silly voodoo like
‘pick and roll,’” Williamson
said. “And a bunch of incon-
siderate jerks raising their
voices at them just makes
it nearly impossible to get
anything done.
“And while I’m looking
out for the basic necessities
of these gargantuan twenty-
somethings, I would like to
ask the people in charge
of hospitality at the Dean
Dome wannabe Center to
have a steady supply of tam-
pons, pacifiers and baby-
blue bonnets ready in case
the game gets too hard.”
costs stuff I read about in the
paper. I bet he could probably
even solve problems like health
care reform, global warming
and the War on Terror like he
slam dunked all the time on
the court.
He should write for Daily Tar
Hell all the time and then run
for president. You should write
that in your opinion things in
the paper until 2012!
Generalisimo Jones
Literarature studies with a
concentration in 15th-century
haikus
white is the new black
Hello, Daily Tar Hell. Long
time crossword-doer, first time
letter writer. I just wanted to
let you know that I found last
Monday’s editorial to be not
only racist and insensitive,
but also racist. That’s right, I
said RACIST. I glanced at your
Opinion section while lining
the cage of my hamster, Prin-
cess Snuggles. In there, you
compared and contrasted the
academic, athletic, and socio-
economic merits of African
Americans, Native Americans,
Pacific Islanders, and Whites.
That’s right, not even “Cauca-
sians” - Whites. I expect this
sort of abuse from standard-
with them. We are like too
good to even have rivals. At
least that’s what all the sports
people on the television say.
Why can’t I find a place that
sells polo shirts that keep the
collar popped all the time? It’s
annoying, dude.
People should totally stop
dissing English majors with
the unemployment so high.
I’ll so have a degree from this
university, so I should easily
find some place hiring people
who can debate about the
elements of postmodernity in
Finnigan’s Wake.
Who cares about football
season? It’s basketball
season and we’re going to go
undefeated for the rest of the
decade, so the haters should
just shut up or something.
Why’d the smoking ban have
to take down the hookah bars,
man? I’m so bummed I can’t sit
around and smoke shisha (sp?)
all day at Hookah Bliss and
whatnot.
The bricks at the Pit are too
uneven for my designer
stilettos. On rainy days I’m
forced to wear my Carolina
blue, diamond-studded
Crocs. THOSE ARE ONLY FOR
YACHTING! What the hell is
my dad paying my tuition
for if I can’t even have my full
wardrobe accessible?

Player still uneasy after incident

tony glucose  not get the credit we deserve. I don’t blame
gave the editor a high five   the man for being drunk but little Timmy
UNC forward Deer Thimpelton has been
diagnosed with ochlophobia, or a fear of
crowds after an incident that has haunted
him since the Tarheels game against Pres-
byterian on Dec. 12.
Dr. Timmy Taft, the UNC director of
sports medicine said little Timmys lack of
contribution to the team recently had been
a result of an incident he and Coach Joy
Billians supposedly made up.
Billians ejected a fan from the game be-
cause he was sitting to close to his family
and dressed as a Presbyterian deacon.
During a free throw Deer was trying to
make in the second half the fan yelled,
“Miss it Deon!” and since that night he
hasn’t been able to do anything.
The man who was allegedly drunk and
causing problems after the game said he
was wrongfully accused and thought Bil-
lians was just mad because his team was
way overrated.
In a press conference after the game Bil-
lians said, “We are overrated and should
did not deserve that.”
Thimpelton told team doctors this week
that he is still having nightmares every
night which involve mean people yelling
things that he should be doing while shoot-
ing the ball.
UNC does expect him to play in the game
against N.C. State however he will wear a
pair of earplugs to help keep the noises out
of his head.
T. Gerry Dillard, a senior in Freshman
education said, “I hope that the students
and State will understand the psychological
pain that he is going through and try and
keep the gym as quiet as possible.”
Thimpeltons closest friends say he has
not been his usual self since that night and
worry that a game in the RBC Center could
be fatal.
His roommate Jed Darieas said that
Thimpleton has been having sudden out-
breaks in the middle of the night shouting
abnormal statements.
“Last night he started chanting the Na-
tional Anthem in Chinese followed by
the theme song to Barney,” said Darieas.
Thompson not only has had night-
mares of the incident but has been
struggling to be around large amounts
of people.
Betty Yonkers, a senior in underwa-
ter basket weaving and a classmate of
Thimpelton said he has to sit in the very
far corner of the classroom to avoid the
sight of more than five people.
Fans however are trying not to blame
him for the teams losing 5 of their last
night games.
Larry Regina, a junior in Pig Latin
studies and a lifelong fan of the Tar-
holes said she hopes the team can find
a way to lose in a little better style with
or without the frightened Thimpelton
Although the Holes will not have the
authority to eject everyone from the
RBC Center the UNC Coaching staff
will give Thompson a thorough psycho-
logical evaluation before the team takes
the court Tuesday night.
ized testing (I bubble “other”
every time to prove my point
and create social change) but
how could you possibly lump
us all into that one, bland
swatch on the color wheel?
Everyone knows you have your
Whites, your Eggshells, your
Edward Cullens, your I-just-
got-back-from-the-tanning-
beds, your I-can’t-afford-to-
go-to-the-tanning-bed-so-
I-use-that-Jergens-bullshit,
your racially confused, your
half-breeds and your Peachy
Pi Zeta Gammas.
All I’m saying, Daily Tar
Hell, is that if you’re going to
discriminate by skin color,
at least do it right. As a card-
carrying member of the Fresh-
Snowfall-on-a-Cold-Winter-
Day White race, I demand to
be recognized. I would like a
personal letter of apology be-
fore my daddy slaps you with
a lawsuit.
Tiffany O’Hara
sophomore, Muggle studies
I have not enjoyed what I have
seen from this basketball team
this year. Where are the Qunicy
Thompsons, Mic Copesleds,
and Davey Navidads? Now
those were some real players,
why are we not recruiting
those types of players
anymore?
I went up to a hobo on
Franklin Street today and
poked him, I thought we was
dead. He wasn’t.
Send your one-to-two
sentence complaints
about the conservative
lean of the universe to
dthelledit@carolinasucks.
com, subject line ‘Things
I already complained to
my Greek pals about and
they totally agreed and
said “Hey, you should
send that in to the Daily
Tar Hell, they’ll print
anything” so I did.’

SpeaK out
tiger
you down and beat you with AP

cHAnges
from Page one
and overdue. From now on,
the noise level of the stadium
from Page one
call. Interview requests for
his agent, Shady McScam- Writing guidelineS:
Stylebooks.

lina football atmosphere to the
next level is the disallowing of
any type of tailgating food or
drink that is not wine or any
type of cheese. Luckily for the
fans, there are countless combi-
nations of this available.
“I just love this idea, there
are so many options to choose
from,” Kristine Clydesfelter,
a freshman majoring in pal-
ate comparisons with an area
of focus in vino tasting and a
minor in cheese textures, said.
“I mean we can go with gouda
and merlot, provolone and
chardonnay, even nacho and
Pinot Grigio.”
The final change in Caro-
lina football atmosphere may
have been the most logical
has been set at a maximum of
.05 decibels, or the noise level
of a public library. This rule
includes no yelling, clapping,
screaming, cheering, chant-
ing, booing, basically anything
louder than a whisper is looked
down upon. To help enforce
these rules, librarians will be
standing at every section with
rulers to help keep the quiet.
“I love this new rule, now we
will be able to hear what coach
Ray Williamson and players
like Mitchel Jadan and Tyson
Hansmo are saying out on the
field,” Robert B. Johanessburg,
senior majoring in Empirical
Studies in the Reform on Mod-
ern Democratic Tendencies,
said. “Wait they don’t play foot-
ball. Oh, whatever. Go Heels.”
had been bitten by the act-
ing bug.
“I know this is maybe
definitely what I’m good at,”
Hansbobo said. “My coach
said I’d make a really good
actor. I can cry on com-
mand.”
These days, Hansbobo
and his canine friend Chew
Toy Williams can be found
sitting on the front porch
of his spacious one-room
abode in East Los Angeles,
waiting for their agent to
DTHell ONLINE: check out pictures of
Hansbobo back before he left us to ride the bench
in the nba at carolinasucks.com
mer, went unreturned.
Hansbobo is certain his
big break will come soon,
and hopes perhaps a Tar
Heel reunion might add to
his resume.
“I’m hoping my buddy
[former teammate] Manny
Preen might be in my next
commercial,” Hansbobo
said. “He could do that
crazy dancing stuff he loves
so much and I could stand
behind him and say, ‘woah.
Woah! Wooooah!’ It’s gon-
na be awesome.”
SubmiSSion:
Please type: What century do you
Drop-off: Climb the steps of our
think this is?
ivory tower and knock three times.
Use an aesthetically-pleasing
font: If you use Comic Sans,we’ll
E-mail: to dailytarhell@
tell our friends at the Hilltop Bar to
dailytarhell.com, but God
help you if you send it as an
never serve you again.
attachment.
Edit: If you hate on us or the
Send: Snail mail? Really?
basketball team, we will hunt
EDITOR’S NOTE: Columns, cartoons and letters do not necessarily represent the
opinions of The Daily Tar Hell or its staff, but to be honest, we’re probably just
as pissed off about the lack of polos with collars that stay popped all the time.
Editorials reflect the opinions of whatever voices speak loudest in Dung’s head.
green
from Page one
in our inboxes. Then when we
dispose of them the diploma
just no reason for every gradu- doesn’t go to a landfill, but is
ate to have a diploma. No one erased from existence com-
wants any evidence they went pletely.”
to this school.” UNC has considered discon-
Ellen said moving diplomas tinuing its graduation program
online would make for a more since 2005, when administra-
efficient graduation ceremony. tors realized the small number
“Print is dying,” she said. of graduates made it expensive
“We should all just get .pdfs to print diplomas.