"Bob Marley isn't my name. I don't even know my name yet.

" Bob Marley

$2,446,724.14

VOLUME FOUR

I S S U E 13

0 3 . 2 6 .15

Friends of Oma Gruene Get

Shorn for Pink Heart Funds
Around & About, page 14

Unfair Pie Charts | Justin Carter Update | Tony Bell's Fake News | The NEW Prickly Pear

P L U S : 7 D AY N E W B R A U N F E L S L I V E M U S I C G U I D E

VOTE NOW!
A C C E S S T H E S U R V E Y AT

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1st Word

No First Word for you this

week. You or anybody else.
Mike's napping.

Unfair Pie Chart

We prove our point using

faulty logic and disingenuous
methods. It's the only repor tage
some people respect.

Feature Story

Jimmy Har well's Steel Life

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Presumed occurrences of indecent exposure

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And heres what it would look like if the

presence of cameras were to curb that
behavior by 50%:

Indecent
Exposure
Decent
Exposure

However, if convict and false imprisonment

enthusiast Joe Francis taught us anything,
its that the presence of cameras actually
has the opposite effect, particularly on
young, inebriated women. Like Hoyt, we
expect a change in behavior, however we
predict it will look more like this:

99.5%
1%

Indecent
Exposure
Decent
Exposure

99%

Naturally, we wholeheartedly encourage the installation of these cameras, providing we

can get the City to provide a 24-hour live feed at nbtexas.org. Perhaps Mr Francis can
advise us on how to monetize the video, or at least avoid jail time for the City Manager
should the City archive any footage of underage, topless tubers.

Is there data youd like to see unfairly graphed?

Send your suggestions to news@txcitizen.com.
TXCITIZEN.COM

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COME OUT AND SEE THE ALL NEW PRICKLY PEAR BAR

Every week, we present data in a patently unfair format, comparing apples to oranges, as it
were, in order to arbitrarily make a point. This week: Outfitter and Can-Ban advocate (you read
that right) Matthew Hoyt is attempting to convince the City to install video cameras at the Comal
rivers Last Public Exit in order to modify the behavior of river visitors.
Hoyt believes that the presence of cameras will result in a reduction of undesirable behavior.
For the purposes of this weeks charts, well work from the unsubstantiated premise that 1% of river
visitors engage in some sort of indecent exposure as defined by law. Heres what that looks like:

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Due Process

Get a Jumpstart on Spring!

WITH NICK ROGERS

Update: Justin Carter Case

Prosecutors dismiss a New Braunfels mans

claims that his constitutional rights were
violated when he was arrested on charges that
he made terroristic threats on Facebook. In its
response brief to the Third Court of Appeals,
the State argues that Justin Carter would have
to wait until after conviction before appealing
on such grounds.
In his appeal of District Judge Jack
Robisons refusal to drop the case against him,
Carter claims that the charges against him
violate his First Amendment rights. He also
argues that the penal code under which he
was arrested is unconstitutionally vague.
The law in question concerns sections of
Texas Penal Code 22.07, which reads:
(a) A person commits an offense if he
threatens to commit any offense involving
violence to any person or property with intent to:
(4) cause impairment or interruption of
public communications, public transportation,
public water, gas, or power supply or other
public service;
(5) place the public or a substantial group
of the public in fear of serious bodily injury.
Lead prosecutor Chari Kelly argues
in a response brief that Carter can only
make a pretrial habeas corpus appeal on
constitutional challenges if he shows that the
statute always operates unconstitutionally
in all possible circumstances, not those as
applied specifically to him.
To the extent Appellant attacks the statute
as applied, he has an adequate remedy by
direct, post-conviction appeal, the State
argues. Therefore his First Amendment as
applied argument cannot be considered
through the vehicle of a pretrial writ of habeas
corpus and should be denied.
The State rejects Carters argument that the
laws are unconstitutional, noting that, when
reviewing the constitutionality of a statute, it
is presumed that the statute is valid and that
the legislature did not act unreasonably or
arbitrarily by enacting the statute.
The reviewing court may only consider
the statute as it is written, rather than how it
operates in practice, the State argues.
The nut of the case, however, is whether
Carters comments were actually a true
threat. Carter argues that the comments were
only hyperbole that resulted from trolling
behavior, while prosecutors insist that his
comments were a valid threat, and thus do not
offer First Amendment protections.
In February, 2013, Carter posted on a
Facebook thread, I think Ima SHOOT UP A
4

KINDERGARTEN and EAT THE BEATING

HEART OF ONE OF THEM. Someone who
saw the post alerted authorities.
Part of prosecutors claims that the
comment was a threat is because of the timely
context in which the post was made.
Applicants threats to SHOOT UP
A KINDERGARTEN did not involve an
expression of political, social or economic
ideas; they were of such slight social value
as a step to truth that any benefit from them
is vastly outweighed by the social interest in
order, the State argues.
Prosecutors insist that the historical
context of when the post was made must
be taken into consideration when deciding
whether the comments represent a true threat.
In the wake of numerous violent school
atrocities, Applicants threats to attack a
kindergarten were calculated to create fear
of violence in the recipients of his message,
the State argues. Accordingly, Applicants
statements were true threats that the State may
prohibit, consistent with the First Amendment.
As well, the State notes that Carters statement
I think Ima [sic] shows personal intent to act.
Threats are not protected speech,
and the First Amendment is not implicated,
prosecutors argue.
The State also denies that the penal statues
were unconstitutionally vague and broad,
arguing that the code meets the standard that,
a statute will not be held void for vagueness if a
person of ordinary intelligence can understand
its meaning. Carter had argued in his appeal
that the penal code fails to adequately spell out
what public service or substantial group of
the public technically mean.
Applicant asks this Court to assume
that the terms public service and substantial
group of the public require a definition, as
a person of ordinary intelligence could not
possibly discern what these terms mean,
Prosecutors say. While Applicant may not
understand these terms, the citizens of Comal
County assuredly do.
Notwithstanding Applicants repeated
complaints in his brief, oral argument, and
Motion to Dismiss for Vagueness, they are
simple terms with common definitions that
need not be mathematically precise, the State
argues. Under Applicants rationale, every
criminal offense in the Texas Penal Code would
be struck down as vague since every term of
each section is not defined mathematically.
Third Court of Appeals has not yet called
for oral arguments.

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Hair & Hearts

Presented by: The New Braunfels Blues Society,
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten, and Blinders Hair Salon

Blues FeStival

Thank you to those who gave in big ways and those who gave in
small ways that made a huge difference. You helped us raise
over $6000 for Pink Heart Funds as well as over 100 ponytails.
Pink Heart Funds is a not for profit organization consisting of volunteers who give wigs to
women and children who have lost their hair due to illness. They also provide counseling,
and breast prosthesis those undergoing treatment. All services are FREE OF CHARGE.
All hair and money we raise stays HERE IN TEXAS.

Good job New Braunfels and thank you!

The New Braunfels
Blues Society
The TX Citizen
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The Monty "Guitar" Tyler Band
Kim And Her Bad Habits
The SA Blues Cats
McKenna Children's Museum
Sheree Guinn
Clyde and Sandi Gray
Kandi and Sara Anderson
Jerad and Jonathon McDonald
Curley Chiropractic
Tri City
Wilson Apkarian
Michelle from Blinders
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The Brauntex Theatre
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Patrick and Christina Fallin

THANK YOU!
TXCITIZEN.COM

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The Gruene House
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Republic
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BENEFITTING

FAKE NEWS
With Tony Bell

Dealing with Donna

State Sen. Dr. Donna Campbell continues to file

legislation, despite the best efforts of her Senate
colleagues to put a halt to such behavior.
Campbell has drawn a great deal of
attention for a slew of bizarre bills filed in the
Texas Senate. The Senator Doctor represents
the 25th District and believes she lives in
Comal County, somewhere.
We have tried everything, said one Senate
official, who only gave his name as Dan.
We have locked the doors, shut her in a
closet, gave her the wrong times for meetings,
but she somehow always shows up, Dan
said. Hell, we even dropped her off in the Rio
Grande Valley, telling her we were going on a
picnic. She still found her way back.
I swear, shes like some kind of savant,
he said.
Recently, Campbell made national
headlines when she submitted a bill in an attempt
to discourage UNESCO from selecting the
Alamo as a World Heritage Site, even though
the designation could provide millions of dollars
to protect and preserve the Texas landmark.
Campbell argued that the designation
would allow the Alamo to be sold to
ferners and terrorists, dumbfounding her
Republican colleagues.
Can you name for me one time in which
UNESCO has actually sold a World Heritage
Site? a fellow Senator asked Campbell.
What? I dont know, she responded.
All I know is: I dont want our treasured Alamo
to get into the hands of gay Mexican terrorists.
The Alamo was the deciding victory in Texas
fight for independence against Mexico.
After the Protect the Alamo From Gay
Mexican Terrorists Bill, Campbell, a Tea Party
favorite, was named to the Creepy Senate
Subcommittee on Bizarre Legislation. Campbell,
the only member of the subcommittee, was
refused her request to be named chair.
More recently, the Senator filed a bill that
would mandate that all fetuses be given guns
in order to protect themselves against abortion.
The unborn have as much right to the
protections offered by the Second Amendment
as anyone else, the Senator said. The
measure is called Senator Campbells Most
Greatest Bill Ever.
When the bill was introduced, it was met
with gaped-mouth confusion by the rest of the
Texas Senate.
Look, Im as much pro-life and pro-

gun-rights as any other Republican here,

one colleague said. But, how in the world
is something like that supposed to work? I
mean, it would be weird enough if the bill
allowed fetuses to carry guns, but to make it
mandatory? She frightens me.
The Senator has also filed measures
that would:
-- Make it illegal for homosexual men to
get pregnant
-- Allow public schools to segregate Christians
from heathens, such as Hip Hoppers
-- Forbid the use of witch magic
-- Make marijuana illegal in states where
marijuana is legal.
When not in the Senate, Dr. Campbell is a
practitioner of Sinister Medicine in another county.

Another River Documentary

on the Way

Satanic evangelists are heading to New

Braunfels over Memorial Day Weekend in order
to film a documentary that bemoans the lack of
serious debauchery among river tourists.
What in the Hell, New Braunfels? said
Satanic Priest Thayer Wolfentooth. Where
is the public lasciviousness? Where is the
sodomy? Where is the violence? Where are
the sacrifices to the Dark Lord?
Im very disappointed, Wolfentooth said.
The New Church of Archaic Evils plans
come in the wake of Christian evangelists who
plan to come to the City to film a documentary
about what they claim is the deplorable behavior
of those who use the rivers for recreation.
Producer Jay Hix Jones, who is making
the Christian evangelical documentary,
claims that there are 2 million rapes and
a million billion drug arrests on the Comal
and Guadalupe Rivers every Memorial Day
weekend. Jones claims that half of all tourists to
the rivers die, while the other half are arrested
for those deaths.
Jones has also produced the show
Hoarders and The Henry Lee Lucas Music
and Comedy Variety Hour.
This is just not an evil town, Wolfentooth
said. The only evil we had found in New
Braunfels was from a small group of people
who hang out for breakfast every morning.
The working title for the New
Church of Archaic Evils documentar y
is, Soooo Booooring.

Tony Bell makes things up for the TX Citizen.

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As I drove down Days End Road in search of

If it wasnt for Annabel Id probably

the Harwell residence, looking left and then

still be mechanic-ing or something, Harwell

right at every driveway for the address, I

said, smiling. We decided that I would

passed an unusual mailbox. Before I had even

pursue this career.

read the name, I knew this had to be where I

So he did.

was going. A life-like arm and hand made of

I was already an accomplished welder,

twisted steel rods held the Harwells mailbox so I didnt have to master that part of it, all I
out to the road, waving me in.
Jimmy Harwell, a Wimberley metal sculpture
artist, Vietnam Veteran and owner of Steel Life,

had to master was the creative artistic part of

it, Harwell said.
Artistic mastery was no obstacle for

waited for me outside his modest studio just Harwell

down the hill from his house. We stood together

either.

His

instructor

at

Austin

Community College liked Harwells first piece,

a while talking about his art, life, inspiration and a steel bull, so much that he encouraged

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favorite pieces, and I got a glimpse inside the

head of an incredibly talented man.
Harwell is a Texas Native and grew up

Harwell to begin selling them.

I made another bull and a horse the
same scale and I took them by a gallery in

just outside Wimberley. His family owned a Wimberley, and they usually want to do
ranch not far from where he currently lives,

consignment but he paid me cash for them

where he grew up around horses and goats right there in the parking lot, Harwell said.
and learned all the tricks of the trade: welding, And I thought thats not bad.
mechanics, blacksmithing and even carpentry,

After the bull came more steel projects,

which came in handy when he and his wife

but Harwell, a multi-talented man, couldnt

Annabel built their house 32 years ago.

just work with one material. Here and there he

Harwells artistic path all started with

would play with stone, and later bronze, but

blacksmithing, which he used to make things he always kept coming back to steel projects.
like knives and later spurs. Eventually, he began

Harwell attributes much of his success in

to elaborate his work and make beautiful,

his career to Annabel, who encouraged him to

artistic spurs out of rebar, adding small details

take steel art as far as he could, and supported

in bronze, and putting them up for sale. But it

him throughout the evolution of his work.

wasnt until the 90s that Harwell decided to

Anybody that says, oh Im going to be

try another route. With encouragement from an artist, a successful artist, theyre dreaming,
his wife Annabel, Harwell started taking art said Harwell as he laughed. You better have
metal classes at Austin Community College.
6

someone backing you up.

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That someone for him was Annabel, who and four-thousand copper and bronze leaves,
is not only his biggest supporter but also his each of which had a childs name engraved
biggest critic, he said.

on it. The tree took six months of labor, and

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things really changed and I got a lot of artistic feat. He now regards it as one of his

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Once we opened up a gallery though,

commission work and thats all I do now, just favorite pieces he has done so far.
commission, Harwell said.
In the beginning, Harwell had a high

Each tree is unique, even in my wildest

dreams I couldnt duplicate this, said Harwell,

demand for artistic steel gates. While working looking at one of his most recent tree lamps. I
at his gallery in Wimberley, a man wanting
some commission work from Harwell asked if

call my work authentic imperfection.

He said he always has a clear vision of how

Harwell could build four gates, each featuring he wanted a piece to turn out and only hopes the
a three-dimensional Cypress tree. The Cypress metal will let him accomplish his end goal.
trees interested Harwell, so he continued

The uniqueness of Harwells work has

sculpting them after he completed the gates and

captured commissioners attention throughout

soon began making tree lamps with Wimberley

his career, and has enchanted others with

Glassworks. Harwell has now made over one

admiration for his level of talent and skill.

hundred tree sculptures which act as bodies for

Neighbors, friends, and residents of Wimberley

the lamps. Wimberley Glassworks then blows

most likely recognize Harwells work as it is

a glass lampshade which resembles a colorful

displayed all over the area. In fact, its hard

leaf canopy. The end result is beautiful. The

not to notice the beautiful glimmering gates as

steel rods look remarkably like twisted, moving you drive through Wimberley neighborhoods.
branches and bark, giving the whole work life.

Harwells latest projects, along with the

All the rods are heated and theyre all tree lamps, are rose lamps, which are tall with
laid in there one at a time, so its pretty time

winding steel roses climbing up the body. The

consuming, Harwell said. In fact, theres latest rose lamp can be found at Wimberley
only myself and two other people that really Glass Works where they have again added a
know how theyre done, and Im not telling, glass shade to Harwells work.
he added, smiling proudly.

To me, it is as lovely, or even more so,

In 2008, Harwell made an 18-foot tall than the trees. said Harwell, referring to the
version of his tree sculpture for the Make-a-Wish rose lamps.
Foundation headquarters in Dallas. The tree
had eight large limbs with countless branches
TXCITIZEN.COM

In the words of Harwell himself, his work

is indeed, quite lovely.

HAPPY COW
B A R

&

G R I L L

Thursday
Cow-E-Oke

Friday
Fools of the Trade

Saturday
Justin Reimer Band

Tuesday
Open Mic
9103 FM 1102
San Braunfels (Hunter, TX)
512.667.7510
happycowhuntertx.com

UID
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Thu 3.26
Adobe Verde

Rileys Tavern

AJs Ale House

Vineyard at Gruene

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Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show

Jacob Clark

9pm

9pm

7pm

Scott Boddicker
6pm

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

Jam Night
6pm

Phoenix Saloon
Jade Marie Patek
5pm

AJs Ale House

Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm

Gruene Hall
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6pm

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6pm

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Fri 3.27
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6:30pm

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Fools of the Trade
8pm

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

MC & the Mystyx
6pm

Phoenix Saloon
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5pm

Alpine Haus Restaurant

Vino en Verde

Off the Grid Polka Band

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6pm

8:30pm

Billys Ice House

Texas KGB
8pm

Gruene Hall
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w/ Charlie Montague Band
7pm, $15

The Pour Haus

Mark Monaco Band
8:30pm

Rileys Tavern

Sat 3.28
Adobe Verde
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6:30pm

The Happy Cow

Justin Reimer Band
9pm

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

TBA
1pm

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Andrea Marie & the Magnolia Band

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9pm

9pm

6pm

Watering Hole Saloon

River Road Ice House

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Lucas Taylor

Billys Ice House

7pm

Poor J Brown

Geronimo VFW #8456

8pm

Jimmy Sims Band

Gruene Hall

3pm

Flat Top Jones

Gruene Hall

1pm

Jack Hustinx & the Southern Aces

Joe Ely Band

12pm

w/ Clay McClinton

Jerry Jeff Walker

8pm, $20

Tues 3.31
Watering Hole Saloon
TBA
8:30pm

Bonzai Steak & Sushi

The Pour Haus

Chris & Judy

Michael Kelton

9am

8pm

The Pour Haus

Rileys Tavern

Cody Bryan Band

Billy Dee

9:30pm

4pm

Rileys Tavern

River Road Ice House

Zach Walther

Drew Kennedy

9pm

2pm

River Road Ice House

Jonathan Tyler, Crooks, Mothership
12pm

Vineyard at Gruene

w/ Sam Harriss
6pm

Gruene Hall
CLOSED- Private Event

The Pour Haus

Open Mic
w/ Jon Magill
8pm

Wed 4.1
Phoenix Saloon
Swing Dance Night
8pm

John Dempsy & Ryan Roberts

3pm

Gruene Hall
Parker McCullom

Vineyard at Gruene

Mon 3.30

TBA
7pm

Billys Ice House

Vino en Verde
Luke LaGrange

Sun 3.29
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

6pm

The Pour Haus

Joe Teichman

TBA

8pm

8pm

Gruene Hall

9pm

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SOUND TOWN
OUT
OF

Fri 3.27
Cheatham Street Warehouse

Sat 3.28
Doug Moreland

9pm

9pm

Club Lineup:
The Blues Specialists
6:30pm
Dale Watson
10pm, $10

Redd Volkaert, 3:30pm

Derailers
w/ Ramsay Midwood

Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm

Gallery Lineup:

Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5

Hillary York, 8:30pm

w/ Aaron Einhouse
7pm, 18+, $13-$18

Luckenbach Dance Hall

Hayden Whittington
1pm
T & C Miller
4pm
Almost Patsy Cline Band
8pm

Red Eyed Fly

Evening Crowd, Mount Pressmore,

Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5

Floores Country Store

David Nail
7pm, 18+, $22-$25

Luckenbach Dance Hall

Bastard Sons of Johnny Cash
1pm
Cameran Nelson
w/ Wood & Wire
9pm, $10

Red Eyed Fly

Riversyde, Not Lando

David Scher

9pm, Outside

9pm, Inside

Sams Burger Joint

Ruben V
8pm, $10-$45

Stubbs BBQ
The Bright Light Social Hour
w/ Walker Lukens
7pm, Outside, $20
Sour Bridges
10pm, Inside, $5

10

Friday Nights, 8pm

Happy Cow

Club Lineup:

10pm, $10

Charlie Robinson

Karaoke

The Continental Club

Gallery Lineup:

Floores Country Store

Freiheit Country Store

Cheatham Street Warehouse

TBA

The Continental Club

diversions

Sams Burger Joint

Charlie Montague
8pm, $10-$45

Stubbs BBQ
Bronze Radio Return
w/ Swear & Shake

Special Events Monthly

Karaoke

Private Parties- Catering

Thursdays Nights

Wedding Facilities Available

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@ 6 JAM NIGHT

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MARCH 27

Thursdays, Saturdays

@ 6 MC & THE MYSTYX

MARCH 28
@ 1 TBA
@ 6 BENNY HARP BLUES BAND

MARCH 29
@ 2 PARDO AND REED

APRIL 2
@ 6 JAM NIGHT

APRIL 3
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Fridays

The Watering Hole Saloon

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Alan Voight Music Scholarship Application

The purpose of the Alan Voight Music Scholarship is to support higher education efforts of junior and senior high school students in Comal County
who are members of music, dance or theater arts and who demonstrate promise and creativity in musical composition or performing. Selection of
the recipients is at the sole discretion of the New Braunfels Blues Society.
For 2015 up to four(4) scholarship of a minimum of $500 will be awarded.

Criteria required for consideration:

Enrolled as a junior or senior high school student in Comal County
Primary Performance Interests, Genres, Instrument(s) played:
Ranked in the top 40 percent of high school class at time of application
Planning to attend an accredited business, technical/vocational school, or two How do you express yourself musically?
or four-year college or university during the fall semester following their graduation
from high school or achievement of GED
Must be involved in music, dance or theater arts in coursework in high school
To apply submit the following documentation no later than April 24, 2015.
Completed application
(this form only will be accepted all others disqualify applicant)
Application essay
Official high school transcripts
Two(2) letters of recommendation

Personal Information:

Activities, Honors, and Awards:

List any office held or awards received in high school. If the award was
repetitive, please indicate the number of years achieved. (Ex. National
Honor Society, 3 years.)

List clubs or activities in which you have participated during your high
school years, include sports and participation outside of school such as in
a church organization, community service or non-profit activity.

Name: ________________________________________________________
Home Address: __________________________________________________

Applicant Essay:
_______________________________________________________________ Attach a typed essay no more than two(2) pages in length addressing an
aspect of the blues music that interests you, or that has influenced you in
Email Address: __________________________________________________ some way.
Phone Number: _________________________________________________ Important Notice:
Sex: (circle one)

Male

Female

Date of Birth: ________________________

When you return this application, you are giving to the New Braunfels Blues
Society authorization to release this information to the Alan Voight Scholarship
Committee. No student will be discriminated against on the basis of sexual
Current Age: ___________ orientation, gender, national origin, ethnicity, religion or creed.

School Information:
Name of School: _________________________________________________
Address of School: _______________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
Telephone #: ____________________________________________________
Anticipated Graduation Date: ______________________________________
College University Technical School Information:

List the names of the institutions to which you have applied to or intend to apply.

Have you been accepted? (Circle one)

YES

NO

To which one(s)? _________________________________________________

Anticipated field of study? _________________________________________
Planned career: __________________________________________________
TXCITIZEN.COM

A complete application consists of this form, the application essay, an official

transcript showing your high school work to date, and two(2) letters of recommendation.
All applications must be mailed to:
New Braunfels Blues Society
Attn: Alan Voight Scholarship Committee
PO Box 310524
New Braunfels, TX 78131-0524
All application materials must be received no later than April 1, 2014.
No exceptions.
Scholarship winners will be notified by May 1, 2014. Winners will be
announced and honored at the annual New Braunfels Blues Society Anniversary
even in May (date and time to be scheduled) and are expected to be present for
receipt of the scholarship at that event. Scholarship winners will be invited to
perform their talent during the event, if applicable.
Proof of registration at a higher education institute must be present to New
Braunfels Blues Society before scholarship funds are distributed.
The scholarship check will be made payable to the institution to be applied
toward tuition, fee, and/or book expenses.
Students are required to utilize scholarship funds the following fall semester,
but may, with the approval of the New Braunfels Blues Society, use them for the
following spring semester. If funds are not used during one of these two
semesters the student will forfeit the right to his/her scholarship award.
11

MOST WANTED
BRANDT,
KRISTI MARIE

Female 503 140 lbs

DOB: 10/31/1992
CHARGE: Four
counts of forgery and
one count theft of
property over $20,000
under $100,000

ED
T
S
E
R
AR

PALADINO,
RICHARD
SAMUEL II

ED
T
S
E
R
AR

Male 511 145 lbs

DOB: 03/29/1968
CHARGE: Motion to
revoke probation/
unauthorized use
of vehicle

COLLINS,
MEDELLIN, JESSE PLAUD-ACOSTA,
RODRIGUEZ
JOHN
MARK
FRANCISCO
Male 507 200 lbs
Male 509 165 lbs
DOB: 01/01/1976
DOB:
04/24/1983
CHARGE:
Possession
CHARGE:
Motion to
of a controlled
proceed
substancewith
pg 1 under
1 gram and theft of
adjudicationproperty under
possession
of a$1500
with 2 or more
controlled
substance
previous convictions

CULPEPPER,
JEFFREY ALLEN
Male 602 185 lbs
DOB: 09/29/1992
CHARGE: Burglary
of habitation

Male 508 180 lbs

DOB: 10/06/1970
CHARGE: Theft
property under $1500
with two or more
previous convictions

SEGURA,
ADRIANNA
LUPITA
Female 503 160 lbs
DOB: 03/17/1985
CHARGE: Forgery

COMAL COUNTYS

ASK A MEXICAN!
By Gustavo Arellano

Dear Mexican: I know theyre

biased and Ive no doubt only the most

Dear Mexican: Why are we put incendiary shots were used. But I was
down by our own people for being watching YouTube last night, and there
educated and articulate (Ive been were a lot of videos concerning the
called gabacho, and Im as brown as the
next guy) while the Anglos accept us for
being smart? I work in Santa Ana as a
high school teacher and am considered

amnesty marches of a couple of years

ago. Naturally one-sided, I still couldnt
help but notice two recurring themes:
One was Mexicans burning, stomping

and desecrating the American flag.

very good at what I do, but when I meet Another was Mexicans consistently
with the Mexican parents, it almost using the terms racist or Nazi to
borders on mistrust. What is itenvy, describe American citizens, born or
naturalized,

paranoia, jealousy?

who

oppose

amnesty.

Smart Mexican American Reading Certainly, sympathy for the cause was
not a goal of this march. What is your
Teacher Asking Serious Stuff
take on that?
Dear SMARTASS Wab: Dont flatter
yourself

too

much.

Anti-intellectualism

is

rampant in American lifewitness this country

Old Glory Gary

Dear Gabacho: Ive been to immigration
protests where Know Nothings assaulted

electing Dubya as president for two terms,

peaceful protestors and burned the Mexican

liberals slobbering over Hillary Clinton, and

flag. Ive seen immigration protests where

conservatives elevating Michelle Malkin and gabachas called little kids cockroaches

GILYARD,
STACY YVETTE
Female 508 180 lbs
DOB: 01/18/1987
CHARGE: Motion to
revoke probation
forgery of 10 counts

HARRIS,
ERNEST W
Male 511 190 lbs
DOB: 12/24/1957
CHARGE: Unlawful
possession of firearm
by felon

$300
REWARD

VALADEZ,
HENRY III
Male 505 195 lbs
DOB: 11/18/1974
CHARGE: Forgery
financial instrument

and savages and gabachos menaced

of this country rightfully relegates them to

college

pendejo pendejos. But tell you what: youre

protests where Know Nothings spewed all

enlightened, so guide those hater Mexicans

to the Light. Let them know that the only way
ahead in this country is to be educated and

ZEPEDA, DAVID
ALEXANDER
Male 600 180 lbs
DOB: 11/16/1983
CHARGE: Failure to
appear/ possession of
a controlled substance

D
E
T
S
E
ARR

FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL

COUNTYS MOST WANTED. Callers will remain anonymous.

830.620.3400 - 24-Hour
830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm

The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act. This is a true
and accurate account as of Monday, March 23,2015 at 9:32 a.m. and may not be current by the time it is
read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Comal County
Sheriffs Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant
prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

12

Hugh Hewitt to sabios when the thinking part

articulateand then guide them to me instead

of your arrogant ass.

students.

Ive

seen

immigration

sort of modern-day blood libel on Mexicans,

with little fear of reprisal. I agree that burning
American flags aint going to win anyone
over to amnesty, but at least the only people
on our side who support such moves are
indigenazis and yaktivists who grow out of
it. Your side, on the other hand, not only

Dear Mexican: When I around condones the boorishness of your worst Know
my workers I keep hearing the word Nothingsyou elect them again and again
camote and they are not speaking to office because of those tactics. Or do you
about yams. What is the slang use think the only reason Sheriff Joe Arpaio has
of camote?
The Gabacho from Sylmar

Dear Gabacho: Usually, it means penis;

every once in a while, it can mean a cerote,
which means a turd. Aint Mexican Spanish

stayed in office so long is because of his

porcine good looks?

Ask the Mexican at

themexican@askamexican.net,
be his fan on Facebook, follow him on
Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him
on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!

slang grand?
AD SALES 830.358.2493

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Space Available!
Weekdays

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Weekends

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TXCITIZEN.COM

13

GRAND G!
N
I
N
E
P
O
RE-

the

new

PRICKLY PEAR

BAR

Last Thursday, Miss TX Citizen brought out the official TX Citizen Giant Scissors for the christening of the NEW Prickly Pear Bar at the Ramada Inn on Business
35. If you haven't been to the Pear in last month, you haven't been to the Pear! Newly expanded and fully remodeled, with lots of natural light, the place feels
like it's doubled in size. Make your plans now for Cinco de Mayo, as Taco Palenque and the TX Citizen bring you the Texas National Taco Eating Championships,
LIVE at the NEW Prickly Pear Bar!
Note: That incredible homemade ribbon was crafted from actual cash, and donated to Emily's Elves for their annual toy drive!

AROUND &ABOUT
Every year, the folks at Oma Gruene's Secret Garten pull out every last stop
for a li'l something called "Hair and Hearts"! Bands come to play, people
from all over the state come to enjoy the festivities, and stylists from Blinder's
Hair Salon set up shop and harvest ponytails from generous owners of long
hair. That hair, and a whole bunch of cash, is then donated to Pink Heart
Funds for the benefit of folks undergoing chemotherapy. This year's take:
Over 100 ponytails and 6,000 US dollars! Well done, y'all!
Photos Courtesy of
Scott P Walker, Photographer

14

TX CITIZEN
AD SALES 830.358.2493

THIS IS YOUR SAMPLE BALLOT

Tear it out, take it with you!

Perform your due diligence before voting. Eat those pizzas. Sample those margaritas. Soak in the Texas mojo. Then stagger to your
computer and vote at txcitizen.ROCKS. The survey ends on April 9, with results printed in our April 16 edition.

EAT - DRINK - VOTE

Best Classic Cheeseburger

Happy Cow
Phoenix Saloon
Spud Ranch
Lone Star Float House
Pats Place
Union Street Station
Landa Station
Bosses Pizza
Freiheit Country Store
Iron Horse
Old River City Cafe

Best Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Pats Place
Fork and Spoon
Gourmage of Texas
Cravings
Landa Station
Union Street Station
Old River City Cafe

Best Classic Cheese Enchiladas

Adobe Verde
Taco Palenque
El Nopolito
Las Palapas
San Juanita's Taqueria
Taqueria El Sazon Tapatio
Adobe Caf
Hannas Kitchen
Marinas Mexican Cantina
El Tapatio
NB Tortillaria
Cancun Mexican Restaurant
Taqueria Guadalajara
Herberts Taco Hut
El Tamarindo
Los Gallos

Best Indie Classic Cheese Pizza

Bosses
Calahans
New York Pizza Pub
Figlios
Infernos
Dis Homemade
Hwy 46 Pizza

Best Cheese-Based Pastry

Kora Koras Bacon Cheddar Roll
Naegelins Cheese Pocket
NB Coffee Companys Cheese Danish
TXCITIZEN.COM

Full Ballot at txcitizen.ROCKS

Beyond the Cheese: Best Coffee

for the Hardcore Java-Head
Kora Kora Coffee
NB Coffee Co
On the Grind
Gruene Coffee House
Crosswalk Coffee

Beyond the Cheese: Best Baristas

Kora Kora Coffee
Crosswalk Cafe - Westpointe
Crosswalk Cafe - Plaza
On the Grind
NB Coffee Co
Gruene Coffee House
2 Rivers Coffee

Beyond the Cheese:

Best Meatball Sub
Figlios Pizza
Olives Italian Market
New York Pizza Pub
Blue Moose Pizza

Best Place to Trigger Insulin Spike

Sweet Dreams Bakery
Gourmet Ice Co
Babycake Truffles
Naegelins Bakery
Gourmage of Texas
2 Tarts
New City Bakery
Donut Palace

Beyond the Cheese: Best Local Treat

Too Good to Waste on Kids
Sweet Dreams Elvis Cupcake
Gourmet Ices Dreamsicle Shaved Ice
Babycake Truffles Pink Champagne
Gourmages Root Beer Marshmallow
Naegelins Maple Bacon Bar

Beyond the Cheese:

Best Corporate Brisket
Rudys BBQ
Coopers BBQ
Bill Miller BBQ

Beyond the Cheese:

Best Indie Breakfast Tacos
San Juanita's Taqueria
Taqueria El Sazon Tapatio
Hannas Kitchen
Marinas Mexican Cantina
El Tapatio
Johnnies Taco Joint
NB Tortillaria
Cancun Mexican Restaurant
Taqueria Guadalajara
El Tamarindo
Los Gallos

Beyond the Cheese:

Best Small Chain Breakfast Tacos
Taco Palenque
El Nopalito
Las Palapas

Fire Water:
Best Full-On Texas Style Bar
The Watering Hole Saloon
Phoenix Saloon
Conways Dance Hall
Old Ice House
Happy Cow
Billys Ice House
Rileys Tavern
Hoity Toit Beer Joint

Beyond the Cheese: Best Snackage

Fire Water: Best Sports Bar

Adobe Verdes Frog Dip

Oma Gruenes German Nachos
Phoenix Saloons Frito-Pie
Scores Fried Pickles
Happy Cows Baloney Sandwich
CBQs Evil Disco Death Metal Fries
Buffalo Wings and Rings Saratoga Chips

Prickly Pear Lounge

Scores Sports Bar and Grill
Black Whale
The Watering Hole Saloon
River City Range Bar
Buffalo Wings and Rings

Beyond the Cheese:

Best Indie Brisket

Fire Water: Best Pub Style Bar

Granzins
Schwabs BBQ
CBQ Smokehouse
McBees BBQ

Oyster Bar
Black & Tan Pub
Faust Brewing Co
AJs Ale House
Calahans

Fire Water: Best Wine Bar

Longshot Wine Bar
Vino en Verde
Water 2 Wine
Wolfgangs Keller
Vineyard at Gruene
Winery in the Gruene
Kork

Fire Water: Best

Patio/Deck/Backyard Bar
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
Koozies Ice House
Pour Haus
Bubbas Big Deck
Pateks Craft Beer and Wine Bar

Fire Water: Best Dang Margarita

Adobe Verdes Dos Rita
Watering Holes Margarita
Phoenix Saloons Margarita
Scores Margaritas
Prickly Pears Margarita
Black Whales Margarita

Boot Scootin:
Best Place to Get Your Two-Step On
Conways Dance Hall
Watering Hole Saloon
Gruene Hall

Commerce: Best Place to

Pick Up Essentials Before One of
"Those Kinds" of Dates
The Perky Peacock
Ludwig's Leather
Henne Hardware

Civics: Coolest City-Owned Vehicle

NBFDs Ladder Truck
NBPDs Tank
Street Departments Grapple Truck

Jahr der Kse

(Year of the Cheese)

15

Call our AWARD WINNING TEAM! 830.620.7653

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HELP WANTED
PRICKLY PEAR LOUNGE
Bartender and Cocktail Server
Apply in Person or Call
830-625-8017
Ask for Haley

RAMADA INN

Hotel Front Desk Agent

Night Auditor
Apply in Person or Call
830-625-8017
Ask for Dan

PHOTOGRAPHER

Real Estate

Introductory Special

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Up to 50 edited photos delivered

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Half-Off One Entree

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One coupon per table. Cannot be combined with any other offer. Expires 04/30/15

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A $30 Value. New Patients Only. Cannot Be Combined

With Other Offers. Offer Expires April 30, 2015

(830) 822-6315

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Huge Play Area for the Kids Live Music Thursday-Sunday

Happy Hour Monday-Friday 3:00-6:30pm
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