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v2.5
http://literary-devices.com/ <--- Read these too and get learned son.

AVOID & NOTE

Thesaurus Abuse -- Using big words when you could just as easily use far less
~~convoluted~~ confusing or ~~concise~ more common words.
Paragraphing -- Break + Indent on the following
New Speaker, New Action of different Person, New Topic, Extended Dialogue.
Review dialogue rules -- http://learn.lexiconic.net/dialoguepunctuation.htm .
Glossary Puke -- The novice writer decides to make up words and force us to
consult their proprietary glossary just to get context.
Using Adverbs -- If it ends in LY it's usually pointless. [E.G] Yes sir, she hastily
replied, quickly turning to the keyboard immediately to her right.
>Be aware of these types of adverbs. They're compensation for dry dialogue. You
shouldn't need them and they actually made it very difficult to follow. In the
nanoseconds my brain has to process the word, I've lost track of the flow. Try just
straight up removing them and seeing if the scene you're trying to set still stands.
Falls into the category of TNS.

Lack of Characterization: The characters are flat nonentities. Often this is a

result of not giving insight into their heads and only telling us what they see.
[E.G] There was an alleyway. Only wide enough for one person, thought Bob.
[vs] "Good thing I work out, no way Dan could fit through that..." See the huge
difference a tiny bit of inner monologue can make? Little details like this are what
make characters fun to read. Weve now learned that Bob likes to belittle people,
compare himself and his superiority to others, and weve also learned that hes selfaware of himself. Weve also cheated in details about other stuff, I.E that there is a
character named Dan and that Dan is probably fat.

Implicit negatives As a disclaimer I made up the term. Basically, this is where

you TELL the reader that something DID NOT happen. Its not ALWAYS a mistake,
but its very rarely necessary.

[E.G] Well it cant be nothing, can it? Harper didnt respond. Not that its any of
my business or anything like that. Its not my business.
> These types of implicit details bog it down. The fact that he didn't respond should
clue the reader in that ...well...he didn't respond. I have a similar writing style and I
learned this the hard-way. Better to just give us an exposition of thoughts or actions
in instances like these. "Harper thought the man's hat was obnoxious" or
something, literally anything.
Avoiding Info-dumps -- http://www.forresterlabs.com/limyaael/rant186438
(She explains it better than I can)

Telling Not Showing TNS

[E.G] "The turtle walked slowly as the rabbit ran very fast to the finish line."
[vs] "The rabbit was gaining. In a burst of speed it pounded its feet against the
ground carrying its small body forward like lighting. The turtle could do nothing but
watch as the rabbit broke through the ribbon of the finish line!"
See the difference? One is exciting. One is not.
Milo battled with the fish as long as he could, and as seconds turned to minutes, he
finally managed to pull the animal into the boat.
[vs]
Dashing to the side of the boat, with all his strength Milo pulled against the line,
desperately fighting against the monster hooked on his line. Don't let go! Don't you
fucking let go you little bitch, he told himself. For minutes Milo battled, sweat
pouring down his forehead his face turning a bright shade of red as he straight tried
to dome that nigga and tussled against the line drawing the beast closer and closer
inch by inch. With one last heave, Milo snapped the gargantuan fish from the water
and hurled it violently into the boat where it flopped and fought for its life!
"Got you now you faggot! I'm calling you OP!"
See the difference? One is exciting. One is not.

Indefinites [E.G] The fish jumped high in the air as a sort of last resort.
[E.G] Maybe 20 feet or so behind him stood the beast.

"As you know, Bob..." Exposition -- These expositions are basically loosely or
poorly written dialogues back and forth, used for no other purpose than to disguise
info-dumps. Although dialogue is often the BEST way to hint at contextual world
building or plot line information, it's very easy to fall victim to this.

[E.G] I mean, you joined the military when you turned 18 after your father died in a
horse crash, like everyone in this town, but that doesnt mean you had to join the
kings army! Remember, you could have joined any army!

Purple Prose -- [From Wiki] In literary criticism, purple prose is written prose that is
so extravagant, ornate, or flowery as to break the flow and draw excessive attention
to itself. Purple prose is sensually evocative beyond the requirements of its context.
[E.G] A year. The word rolled off his tongue and its weight hung in the air, drifting
towards the ceiling as it mixed with the steam from the carcass that hung from the
rafters.
[E.G] He looked at her face again. He bathed in it, splashed around in the golden
rays reflected by it, something that he might never see again.
[E.G] He could hear the light dancing on the wall.

POV [POINT OF VIEW] ERRORS -- Difficult to spot for the novice eye and difficult
to explain. Examples are difficult to point out as well. A super fucking obvious
example would be giving the thoughts of a random character when you're writing
from 1st person narrative. How on earth would the POV character know the thoughts.
In the same capacity, if you're only allowed thoughts of one character, sometimes
something very inconspicuous might slip through like "[...] the girl said, clearly
offended by the sounds in the background that reminded her of her village and
dead parents." <-- Like nah nigga, that shit "clearly" that's you breaking POV and
giving me a character's thoughts you couldn't possibly have access to. It's also TNS.

Filtering -- Okay, this is called "FILTERING" Filtering is where you force everything
through a filter "he said" "he knew" "he saw". Consider revising when you find
yourself doing this. It's a relatively advanced technique I wish I'd mastered earlier
[E.G] She could feel a cold sweat breaking over her, like ice water pouring down her
slender spine.
should be A cold sweat broke over her, like ice water pouring down her slender
spine.
(Yes I wrote this and yes its awful)

"Clarification complex" aka Sign Posting -- (I forget what this is really

called): Along the same roots as TNS--you say something really obvious and follow it
up with a clarification sentence or clause.
[E.G] "Fuck you OP! You faggot!" the editor screamed. The editor was angry.
[E.g] "Hi, I'm Bob," said Bob, introducing himself.

Paragraph / style Abuse -- [E.G]

Suddenly, he was alone.
Alone in darkness.
So very alone.
He had never been so alone.
DON'T FUCKING DO THIS I WILL MURDER YOU!!!!

"Suddenly!" Stop. Just stop. It's TNS and you need to find a better way to build or
relieve suspense. 9 of 10 times this word is awful and only serves to annoy and
break narrative because we know something is going to happen. Like oh here is the
explosion instead of bla bla bl-- the house exploded. Its suddenly and I just roll
my eyes.

Tense errors -- Can be extremely obvious, or extremely subtle (verbs are difficult).
Difficult to describe. The super obvious and overt errors you couldn't possibly make
unless you're a retard go something like this
"Hey OP, why are you such a faggot?" I asked, as I posted on reddit. "Pls respond."
[past tense]
OP, crying deeply, and kicks the chair under their feet. [present tense]
In this example, kicks, should be KICKED. Don't be a faggot OP.

Dangling participle -- 1st person writers be wary. It's not super complex but they
can be hard to spot.
http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/dangling-participles

Schizophrenia -- how come whenever typing you're confuseding and people can't
sometimes also even really decide how to read it?
Bad Simile -- [E.G] Heart as warm as butterbread. 'nuff said
Bad Metaphor -- [E.G] He walked into the room like a dragonfly smoking pot. 'nuff
said.
IT'S IT IS :::: ITS implying ownership ::: ITS IT FUCKING IS.
____

(These are my personal rules. I paste these at the top of all my editing
chapters)
1. Writing is not an RPG -- Do not set a scene and LITERALLY walk your character
through it. Real time doesn't matter.
1a. Stop starting every sentence with s/he {insert verbed}.
2. Adverbs are bad. -- If it ends in -LY fucking kill yourself.
3. Said is usually simple enough. -- You are not a special flower.
4. Modifiers are usually unnecessary. Not everything needs an adjective. -- Unlike
French, modifiers come BEFORE the subject. This is obnoxious in English.
5. Avoid purple flowery bullshit --- "Would a black guy read this out loud?"
(Notwithstanding Morgan Freeman / Sam L. Jackson) if no, take it out.
6. When editing so-so paragraphs, prepare to post it on facebook (or other social
media). All of a sudden, you'll find every flaw imaginable. It's like stage fright and
it'll kick your ass into editing mode REAL QUICK.
7. Don't be a fucking hypocrite. You're not a special snowflake.
8. Glossary terms are not to be puked out.
9. Dialogue is the only way to provide historical background --> Avoid As you know
Bob!" paragraphs. See also lack of characterization.
____
Thanks guys. If you have anything else to add let me know.

51 here?! --- I have come to the conclusion they were robots.

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