Introductory Remarks

We have in To The Lighthouse a galaxy of fictional characters whose earnest endeavour is to

establish, with varying degrees of success, happy and healthy relationship with the people
around them. Accepting this as its main theme the novel may justly be called a study of the ways
and means by which satisfactory human relationship might be established with the people
around them. This is because human beings seemed to Mrs. Woolf isolated and communication
between them partial and often far from satisfactory.

Words are Inadequate

In human society words are the main sources of communication between one person and
another. Unfortunately words are very often inadequate for the purpose. And hence this is one
of the main reasons for the failure to establish healthy and satisfactory human relationships. The
difficulty is that very often words cannot express the full complexity of a characters thoughts
and feelings. Then again what the words express is only a fraction of what a character thinks and
feels, and as a result they become misleading. These aspects of verbal inadequacy were quite
evident to Mrs. Woolf. And many of her characters reveal this inadequacy in a distinct manner.
Lily feels this strongly as in the third part of the novel she is seen standing near to Carmichael
on the lawn and trying to explain Mrs. Ramsay: And she wanted to say not one thing, but every
thing. Little words that broke up the thought and dismembered it, said nothing. About life,
about death; about Mrs. Ramsayno she thought one could say nothing to nobody. The urgency
of the moment always missed the mark. Words fluttered sideways and struck the object inches
to low. Then one gave it up; for how could one express in words these emotions of the body?

Silence is More Eloquent

Very often it is found that silence is more expressive and eloquent than words. And Lily realises
it fully. She feels in greater communication with Carmichael than if they had spoken. There
sitting on the lawn in perfect silence they seem to understand each other perfectly well without
exchanging even a single word. And in the final chapter of the novel Lily justly feels: They had
not needed to speak. They had been thinking the same thing and he had answered her without,
her asking him anything. Thus it is revealed to us that silence is often more expressive and more
eloquent than words words that fall to express these emotions of the body, and leads to the
establishment of happy human relationships.

The Trivial and its Importance

In the novel we also find that how things trivial or of very little importance are greatly helpful in
establishing congenial human relationships. In the beginning of the third or final movement of
the book we find Mr. Ramsay the widower coming to Lily demanding sympathy. She really feels
very helpless and words fail her in the beginning. Suddenly his boots catch her eyes and she
praises his boots. This brings great relief and Mr. Ramsay feels satisfied. Apparently Lilys
remarks may seem silly or comic. But Mr. Ramsay smiled. His pall, his draperies, his infirmities

fell from him. Thus it helped to establish perfect sympathy and understanding between Lily and
Mr. Ramsay and Lily felt her eyes swell and tingle with tears.

Need of Sympathy and Understanding

Congenial and satisfactory human relationships are essential for happiness in our life. Logic,
reason and intellect are of very little help to us for this purpose. It is through the emotions we
can establish such relationships. Emotional understanding and a genuine sympathetic attitude
are greatly needed for satisfactory relationships even between parents and children, and
husband and wife. And in the very first scene of the novel we find how far the lack of these
mental aspects Mr. Ramsay becomes an intolerable tyrant or a sarcastic brute in the eyes of his
children. He tells James the dire truth it wont be finewithout caring a bit for a young childs
dreams and desires. And James feels like gashing a hole in his fathers breast to kill him there
and then. But Mrs. Ramsay with her loving soul and sympathetic understanding wins the heart
of the children and is tremendously loved and admired by her children. She undoubtedly
soothes them by telling them that the weather might change for the better. But it is only to make
the world a better and happier place.

Mrs. Ramsays great Role

Virginia Woolf shows us in many ways that Mrs. Ramsay plays a very significant part in To The
Lighthouse to establish communication between people. This is first revealed in her genuine
attempts to get Paul and Minta as well as Lily and Mr. Bankes married. And it is shown very
nicely and convincingly at the dinner party where she makes the most sincere effort to get
people talking, to involve them and so to create something of the time they are together. In fact,
almost throughout the novel we find the movements of characters towards one another from the
state of isolation in which each one of us is trapped by his own sense of inadequacy or his private
worries. In this respect Tansley is a very good example. His is the picture of a man who is
sensitive with his feelings of social inferiority. He is poor and unattractive. That is why he wants
to assert himself in a rude and rough manner. He repels and displeases almost all except Mr.
Ramsay. Mrs. Ramsays ideas and feelings about him vary, but she is pictured as the rare person
who can make others show their best side, and she draws from him simple and selfless
behaviour and feeling, which are just as much part of her personality as rudeness. And this is
nicely revealed when they are found walking together in the very opening scene of the novel.
Then again in the dinner scene we find how Mrs. Ramsay prevails on Lily to help Tansley out of
a very odd and unhappy situation. At the dinner party he is desperately trying to assert himself,
to make an impression on the conversation without very little success. And this irritates him
more and more. To Lily he is already repulsive and she wont help him in any way in the
beginning. But when Mrs. Ramsay with her good sense and sympathetic understanding silently
implores Lilys help in making the party comfortable, she accomplishes her task in rehabilitating
the preverted person. And Tansley takes this opportunity and begins to blossom forth in talk; his
egotism is now satisfied and he is able to shine in the company of the guests. So it is revealed to
us that due to tact and good sense of Mrs. Ramsay satisfactory relationship between Tansley and
others at the table is thus established and the party becomes a real success. This happens in
spite of the fact that there is a note of pretence and falsehood even in Lilys second invitation to

Tansley to accompany her to the Lighthouse. But this may be justified as the necessities of polite
social relationships demanded it. .

Mr. and Mrs. Ramsay: Their Relationship

There is a note of pretence and falsehood even in the husband-wife relationship between Mr.
and Mrs. Ramsay. Mrs. Ramsay cannot but praise Mr. Ramsay to his face just to booster up his
confidence in a way she feels should not be necessary. He is in constant need of being reassured.
His fear of failure, his resentment that he has achieved less than he should have and that his
books will not last, pervert his judgement, leading him to see in praise of other mens works
disparagement of himself. This undoubtedly puts a strain on his wife and she has to conceal
things for him. Again on Mr. Ramsays, side too there is some sort of reserve. Mrs. Ramsays
pessimistic conviction of the misery of life distresses him, and then he is unable to communicate
with her in her moods of sadness. It saddened him and her remoteness pained him..He could
do nothing to her. He must stand by and watch her. Indeed, the infernal truth was, he made
things worse for her. But on the other hand, his dependence on Mrs. Ramsay and her respect
and reverence for him balance these areas of difference between them.
The first movement of the novel The Window, traces the pattern of their relationship very
skillfully from one extreme to another. In the very first scene we find them at their farthest apart
when their disagreement about going to the Lighthouse brings out their difference quite sharply
in their attitudes to life. Mr. Ramsay is upset, is rather infuriated. The extraordinary
irrationality of her remark, the folly of womens minds enraged him..and now she flew in the
face of facts, made her children hope what was utterly out of the question, in effect, told lies.

Mrs. Ramsays Attitude: Final Reconciliation

Mrs. Ramsay is also upset in her own way. With her loving heart and sympathetic bent of mind
she wants to make people happy in this world and longs for protecting her children from losing
the contented innocence of childhood. Hence her husbands irrational and stern attitude seems
to her equally repugnant, to pursue truth with such astonishing lack of consideration for other
peoples feelings, to rend the thin veils of civilization so wantonly, so brutally, was to her so
horrible an outrage of human decency. But very soon after this incident they begin to come
together again. It starts with Mrs. Ramsays apology. And after this we find that the remaining
sections of The Window move towards the moment at the end, when the firm asperity of the
masculine mind, which she admires in him, curbs her gloomy thoughts and she is able, though
indirectly, to assure him of her love. And as she looked at him she began to smile, for though
she has not said a word, he knew, of course that she loved him.

Conclusion
We may now rightly assert that To The Lighthouse very reveals a close study of the ways and
means by which satisfactory and congenial human relationships might be established. And Mrs.
Ramsay, who is the centre around which action and movement are built, plays the most
significant role as a force by holding together almost all the characters and incidents of this great
novel.