THE SECRET PLACE

The
SECRET
PLACE
49 REASONS KNOWING GOD
TRANSFORMS PRAYER

EDMOND SANGANYADO
Origen House

iii

The Secret Place: 49 Reasons Knowing God Transforms

Prayer
2015 by Edmond Sanganyado
Published 2015 by Origen House
A division of Chronicles of a kid next door
www.gracemusing.com
Origen House
www.origenhouse.com
Printed in United States of America
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in
any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including
photocopying, recording, or by any information storage or
retrieval system without permission in writing from the
publisher.
Cover image: Fr Sonneveld from unsplash.com
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from
the Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version),
copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good
News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
The Secret Place / Edmond Sanganyado
ISBN 978-1-50897-513-7
Religion / Christian Life / Prayer

iv

For those struggling with prayer

Contents

Introduction 1
Teach us to Pray 11
Practices of Righteousness 35
God is Our Father 47
Savoring His Holiness 55
The Glorious Name 67
God is our King 79
Understanding Kingdom of Heaven 89
Reveling in Gods Heart 101
Communing the Living Bread 111
Participating in Christ Divine Nature 119
Forgive Thyself 131
A Heart Captured by Gods Awe 141
vii

The Day I Prayed Using Curses 153

After Amen 161
7 Resources for Effective Prayer 173

viii

Introduction

An infant who does not cry will die in a

baby wrap carrier.

k
S A LITTLE BOY,

I watched my mother cry out

to God with a loud voice. Dad was seriously

ill. Every day, Mom entered her bedroom,

closed the windows and curtains, and poured her heart

before the Creator. Through shrieks and groans, she
begged the All-Powerful, Creator of Heaven and Earth
to take away the mysterious ailment haunting Dad.
After half an hour, she would emerge from the
1

bedroom, wipe her tears, fake a smile, and continue

with her daily grind.
Every day, I wished God could hear Moms cries.
After Dad passed away, mom prayed less
frequently, once or twice a month. Hearing Mom
praying meant something was up, either someone was
sick or there was no money for the bills or school fees.
As her monthly pension dwindled, hit by inflation, her
prayers became more frequent. By watching her, I
learned to call on Jehovah, when things go awry or
when I needed something.
Back then, we did not call to God in the name of
Jesus because we did not know Him. Mom cried out to
Jehovah since that is what her church taught. Jesus was
a great teacher, prophet, and a worker of miracles, she
was told.
Seven years after my dad's demise, Mom fell
critically ill. People from her church visited and called
upon the Creator fervently. Mom's health did not
improve but got worse with each passing day. Often, I
would sheepishly go to the restroom and cry out to
God. If tears could heal, today my mom would be
around.
Mom was admitted to the hospital several times in
the fateful three months. I do not know why, but she
did not want me to visit. It was too painful for her, I
2

believe. I once visited her, and left the hospital

hopeless. I saw her lie helplessly on the hospital bed, a
pale shadow of her bubbly self. She faked a smile, but
pain and lethargy failed to cooperate. Mom had little
blood in her veins, the physicians said. That is why she
was often weak and erratic. The doctors suspected she
might be anemic, but at other times they said she had
pneumonia. I did not know what to believe. Watching
my mom suffer, knowing there was nothing I could do
was very painful. But, one of her fellow church
members had other thoughts.
"I know we have prayed to God, and that is good.
You should consider surrendering your life to Jesus.
Jesus is the Savior who came to take up all our sins."
Upon hearing this, I was angry. Leave my mother
alone, and go with your Jesus sermons somewhere else, I
fumed silently. But, the man was relentless, he wanted
Mom to believe in the Jesus stuff. After Mom was
discharged, he visited her every other day. He would
bring a large over-used Bible, sit uneasily next to Mom
who lay on the couch in the living room, listen to her
complaints and aspirations, and after a while sing a
song and prayed. This went on for maybe a month.
Occasionally, he would read a Bible verse and
expound on it a little bit. My brothers and I loathed
him, instead of praying for her, he was wasting time
3

reading the Bible. One day, coming from school, I

found him leading Mom in what I later learned was the
sinner's prayer.
Honestly, I never understood the Jesus thing. I
grew up in a deeply spiritual community. Spirit
mediums and African apostolic prophets performed
signs and wonders quite often. Therefore, healing the
sick or walking on water never convinced me of His
deity. Jesus was simply a good teacher who could
work miracles, I convinced myself.
Occasionally, pastors visited my high school. You
are all sinners, God is angry at you unless you repent
you will all perish, they would say. After receiving a
note from one of the teachers reminding them their
time is up, they would pray. Every time, they ended
their prayer with the words, in Jesus' name and I
would wonder what is up with this name.
After my mother passed, national examinations for
Ordinary Level were coming up. Of course, everyone
thought I would pass, but I prayed. Mom had taught
me to pray. I prayed for eleven As. I thought if I get
that much As then I would get a scholarship for my
Advanced Level tuition. I got 9 As and 2 Bs, setting a
new record in my town but never received any
scholarship; I was not satisfied.
4

A few weeks before I received my Ordinary Level

results, I received the life of Christ. Prayer became an
integral part of my life. I prayed for everything because
I had to. When schools opened, I prayed, because I
never knew where I would get my tuition. I prayed
when I fell ill because we could not afford hospital fees.
For the next seven years, prayer was the only option.
My prayer closet was full of accolades, trophies I
cherished and polished regularly. I once had tonsillitis;
my uncle laid his hands on me and a cream globule
dropped from my mouth. I prayed for college
enrollment, grades, and tuition, and the Lord heard
me. I prayed for everything and the Lord answered.
A few months ago, I was on my bed praying and I
realized I did not know anything about prayer. Yes, I
had prayed to God for many years and I had several
answered prayers to show for it, but I did not know
how to pray. Although I had taught several groups
about prayer, I did not understand it.
What is prayer anyway? Why and how should we
pray? I really do not know the answer. Over the years,
I have found one of the main reasons I failed to learn
from God was because I answered questions too
quickly. I did not hasten to find the answer on my own,
but prayed.
5

"Dear Father, I realize I do not know how to pray.

Many times, I have prayed to you, but I do not
know why I even pray. Please, Father, teach me
how to pray. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen."
As time passed, I realized I was not the first person
to ask that of Christ. About 2,000 years ago, twelve
people went before Christ and asked him to teach them
how to pray. The twelve saw Jesus praying, they
witnessed how prayer was an integral component of
Christ's life. They did not just imitate Christ's prayer
habits, but wanted to learn prayer. Not only did they
want to know how to pray, they wanted to know why
they should pray.
One day, I was lying in bed and I had an
interesting thought. What will occur if I say the Lord's
Prayer every day in the following seven days? I made
a resolution to read the Lord's Prayer daily and
meditate on one petition each day, writing down
everything I learn. In seven days I will be done, I told
myself.
But, I was wrong.
What began as a week's endeavor took the whole
month, and probably will take a lifetime. I read
Mathew 6 and Luke 11 at home, at school during lunch,
on a hospital bed, and on the bus to Northern
6

California. Day and night, I meditated on the

scriptures on my bed in the comfort of my home, on
my bike on the way to school, and even during an MRI
in the hospital. Every time, I would write down what I
learned.
There was a lot, and still a lot more to learn. As I
studied each petition, I wrote down at least six reasons
from each request that could transform my prayer.
Indeed, the Lord's Prayer can revolutionize the secret
closet.

Since

prayer

is

critical

practice

of

righteousness, believers should learn how to pray as

taught by Jesus.
PRAYING AMISS
Jesus listed prayer as one of the three practices of
righteousness. The core facet of all the practices of
righteousness was secrecy. Believers were encouraged
to give in secrecy. Pharisees used to stand on high
pedestals and shout loudly in the marketplace
whenever they gave to the poor. They wanted to be
known as givers. The third practice Christ encouraged
to be conducted in secrecy was fasting. Fasting is a
deep spiritual practice that has been reduced to a sign
of spiritual maturity in the past two millennia. Prayer,
fasting, and giving are not marks of Christian growth,
7

but essential practices of righteousness believers

should conduct in their secret closets.
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and
pray for one another, that you may be healed. The
prayer of a righteous person has great power as it
is working.
James 5:16
In

the

above

quote,

James

identified

the

importance of righteousness in prayer. The Pharisees

prayed as a demonstration of righteousness. The
practices of righteousness are not a display for people
to acknowledge how deeply spiritual we are, rather an
honest pursuit of the knowledge of God. Hence, in the
Sermon on the Mount, Christ advised believers,
Unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes
and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of
heaven (Matthew 5:20).
Christ expects our righteousness to be far and
beyond that of the Pharisees. Pharisees only became
righteous by keeping the law. They practiced
righteousness outwardly, as a show. Christ came and
became righteous under the law. Christ imputed
righteousness to us when we believed. We received
righteousness by faith in Jesus. Through faith, our
8

righteousness exceeds the righteousness of the

Pharisees.
However, being human, it is quite easy to fall back
to the righteousness of the Pharisees. Prayer, fasting,
and giving among Pharisees was an outward show,
devoid of any spiritual significance or reverence to
God. When we pray to be heard, fast to be seen, and
give to be recognized, we would have fallen into the
righteousness of the Pharisees.
In the Lord's Prayer, Christ teaches us how to pray.
Unlike my prayers when I lost my parents, Christ
demonstrated there was so much more to prayer than
asking for help. The petitions in the Lord's Prayer do
not require casual prayer but engaged and attentive
seeking.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his
righteousness, and all these things will be added
to you.
Matthew 6:33

CHAPTER 1

Teach us to Pray

A goat that gives birth in front of people

needs help with keeping away flies.

k
ARKNESS

ENVELOPED

THE

SERENE

neighborhood like Santas Christmas giftwrap; neatly and tightly. With all the kids

tucked up in bed, no shriek, screech, or cry echoed in

the mystifying silence. It had been hours since
everyone had retired to bed. I sat alone in the darkness
and silence surrounded by ghastly gloom and ghoulish
doom.

11

I was the only one awake in the neighborhood, or

so it seemed. Even witches and robbers were still
wrapped in the arms of Morpheus. No cars huffed and
puffed along Linden Street since it was winter break,
and only graduate students were on campus. No late
night music blared across the neighborhood.
No, I did not have insomnia, I just did not want to
sleep.
No wailing gales aversely playing in a brusque
terrestrial ensemble twirled the trees or roused the
twigs, but there was noise. A deafening sound echoed,
suffocating the pensive night. I did not hear anyone
shouting, but I heard loud voices. A noise. A noise so
earsplitting I cowered, fists clenched, eyes squinting,
and lips tight. I was afraid. I could not hide or flee. The
noise was coming from inside. Not inside the house,
but me. How could I flee or hide from myself?
Like resounding African drums at dawns break
proclaiming the tragic loss of a venerated king, my
heart pounded heavily, shaking my chest. A haunting
panorama of days past rolled before my eyes,
snatching the tiny mustard seed of hope that I
religiously clinched. I remembered the conversations I
had some time back. I was doomed, I concluded. Yet, I
continued to struggle to put my mind on only one
thing. Yet, only one thing was needful. I desperately
12

longed for an open-heart surgical conversation with

God. Yet, I failed to find the right words. Maybe I was
looking for the wrong thing- the right words.
As I realized I was grossly anxious and profusely
worried, I asked myself a protruding question. How
did I get here? Regrettably, like many important
questions I did not have a clue. I did not know how I
ended up writhing with anxiety in the middle of the
night. One thing I knew, for the better part of the year,
I had been worried about many things. I was worried
about my family. I had two kids, a preschooler and a
toddler. The kids had to go for early child
development, but my grad student stipend was only
meant for singles. Not just single people, but single
people with rich parents. I had a family to take care of
from a monthly wage that was not enough for one
person. Besides the pathetic finances, my studies were
fast becoming a nightmare. A couple of my
experiments were botched and my hopes of ever
graduating dwindled. I was a mess.
For almost a year, I did a great job concealing my
stress from my family. Of course, no matter how much
I tried, my wife always noticed when I was down. I
know she always prayed for me, but I was too busy
being stressed that I never stopped to pray for myself.
I thought I concealed my pain from my family, but I
13

was hiding it from myself. And I did a great job. As

they say in ChiShona, rinamanyanga haraputirwe - you
cannot conceal anything that has horns. That fateful
night, all the stinky worry, piled high and deep in my
heart, overflowed. The stench was so strong it blew
away my sleep. Alone in the night, I faced my deepest
fears. How I wished I had a sling and only one pebble,
maybe I could have defeated the giant that was teasing
me.
For several months, I published encouraging and
inspiring articles on the web, but neglecting the
elephant that was in the room. I reveled watching
people across the globe uplifted by the words I crafted,
but deep inside I longed to find the same hope from
what I wrote. I did not only write, but spoke with other
believers. A few months ago, a friend told me about
some problems she was facing. After pouring out her
heart, I gave her some words of encouragement and
prayed with her. A few weeks later she called, all teary,
and told me how God had intervened and helped her.
I should have been happy, but I was not. Why was God
not doing the same in my life? God was giving peace
to all the people I give words of encouragement to
except me.
This was the voice shouting in my mind.
This was where the deafening sound came from.
14

My mind.
I have been through worse things. Finances,
health, and studies are not a big deal. When I received
the life of Christ, I was in a worse position than where
I found myself that fateful winter night. Things did not
get better by receiving the life of Christ, but I had
peace. I was no longer caught up on what to eat or to
wear. I did not have anything to wear or to eat most of
the times, but God gave me peace. Nothing beats
peace. However, there were days when the dark
clouds hung around me. I would leave the house and
walk for at least ten miles. In Karoi, there were lots of
trees, mountains, and animals. Reading the book of
Psalms, I would marvel at Gods creation. In the end,
the glory of Gods creation assured me that Christ
would never forsake me.
When the worry got worse, fasting was always an
easy alternative since there was nothing to eat. I would
fast and pray. I do not remember praying for food or
money, but I wanted to know Gods plan. I wanted to
know where Edmond Sanganyado stood in Gods
plan. I knew if God had a plan for me, He would never
let me perish. Knowing Gods will sustained me in the
moments of worry. The longest fast I ever had was
nearly three weeks. I was in college then. A friend of
15

mine noticed what was happening and he took me to

his home where he forced me to eat.
Anyone who has visited Sub-Saharan Africa might
have noticed how believers go into the woods and
climb mountains for a night or day of prayer. I also did
that. Overlooking my family home in Karoi, was a
mountain in a nearby farm. Oftentimes, I would
quietly climb the mountain and sit under a tree. After
singing for a while, I would cry out to God. The
mountain gave me privacy. It was my hidden closet
with no noise except my voice calling the Father.
Coming to America, I was confronted by external
noise. Pardon my generalization, but I found America
very noisy. Compounded with jetlag, I could not sleep.
A train line was a few feet in front of the room where I
stayed. The fire department in the city prided itself for
the fastest response time. No wonder every twenty
minutes fire engines wailed raucously, drowning my
cherished silence. At least the noise was from outside.
As they say in my native language, chisingaperi
chinoshura - what does not end is sacrilegious. After a
little while like an aptly trained soldier in a raging war,
I learned to turn off the disturbing noise and focus on
only what mattered. At last, I enjoyed the wit and
humor of Maggliozi brothers, Click and Clack on Car
Talk, or laugh as I watched my favorite TV show, I
16

Love Lucy. I could hear clearly now because the noise was
gone.
Silencing the external noise was easy. I only
focused on what was important and also got used to
the noise. The noise never left, even as I write,
ambulances are blaring, but my mind is wrapped up
on this book. I want this book to be good. I want people
to learn from my experiences and I will be elated if
many people would stop to pray as they read. This
book is important to me at the moment, I do not care
about the noise outside. Unfortunately, the noise from
my mind did not permit me to focus on anything
important. I could not pray or even read the Bible.
How could I calm the internal storm?
Although many believers will not admit it, I am
not the only believer who struggles with anxiety.
Instead of giving comfort and hope, they are times
Pauls words, Be anxious about nothing, seem to be
agents of guilt and shame. I felt ashamed for being
anxious and guilty for being hypocritical. When
worried, I am ashamed to tell even those close to me
fearing they might misconstrue the anxiety with a lack
of faith. Through this fear, instead of confronting the
elephant in the house, I allowed it to grow and bear
kids.
17

Another major reason I continued to struggle with

anxiety was me. I was not merely part of the problem,
I was the major cause of the problem. Let me explain.
Life is like a gigantic concert hall. Through ignorance
and misplaced faith we wrongly allow the audience to
sit on stage and chase away the musicians, relegating
them to a sit in the auditorium. Good acoustics and
quality instruments will not quell the hullaballoo that
ensue. It will be presumptuous and nave to blame the
sound engineer for the discord when the audience
because of no musical ability succumb to discord.
Through my witlessness, I offered a crispy voice to
anxiety, and worry spoke. Even in the riot I simply had
to pull the plug, but how?
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is
stayed on you because he trusts in you. Trust
in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an
everlasting rock.
Isaiah 26:3-4
When we stay our mind on the Lord, we behold
His glory and Christ transforms us into the same image
from one degree of glory to another (2 Corinthians
3:18). Jesus Christ is the Prince of Peace, thus by
beholding Him we receive His peace. What is it that we
18

see in Christ that offers us peace? In the 2 Corinthians

4, Paul shows us what the source of peace is, rather
who the source of peace is. When we are afflicted,
perplexed, persecuted, or struck down in every way,
we do not cringe and sink into despair because Christ
planted a treasure in our earthen vessels. Our source of
hope is the dying of Christ - Christ lifted up on the
cross like the brazen snake lifted by Moses in the
desert. The cross ushers a peace that surpasses all
understanding because it reminds us the same Spirit
that raised Christ from dead is at work in us. Because
of the Spirit, death failed to defeat Christ, how could
anything defeat me?
Like many who perished in the desert, I chose to
look at the snakes that slithered around me - the bills,
the health, the botched experiments and the fear. There
is a great ChiShona proverb for what occurred that
day, ndakarumwa nechekuchera - I was stung by what I
was digging. The stress meditated on took a toll on my
health, my body suffered because of my negligence.
Only one thing was needful, looking at the cross. At
the cross, Christ died so that I may live and became a
curse so that I may be a blessing. At the cross, my
perfect peace stood arms stretched wide open waiting
for me
19

Because of the sacrifices of Jesus Christ that he

made on the cross for us, He has become our
Jehovah Shalom, which means Jesus is our
peace.
Lionel Petersen, a South African musician
WHEN GOD CALLED ME TO PRAYER
If everything else fails, try prayer, says one of the
most popular Christian clichs. I tried prayer. After
that painful night, I considered having the regular
prayer, but it was just a mere thought, nothing
substantial. I did not stop praying but had a strange
feeling that my concept of prayer, like my fateful
experiments, was botched. A once vibrant prayer life
had become lifeless like a mining town after all
minerals dry out. Though rich in Chistianese, my
prayers were empty and shallow. Honestly, I never
expected God to answer any of them. They were an
empty ritual I was too conservative to abandon.
In 2002, I ran into Dick Eastmans bestseller The
Hour That Changes the World. For a couple of years,
before

complacency

slipped

in,

this

book

revolutionized my prayer life. I did not hesitate to

incorporate Dick Eastmans 12 practices, such as praise
20

and worship, waiting on the Lord, confessing, pray the

Word, and thanksgiving in my daily talk with God.
There were several nights I sat alone in the dark
pouring praises before God, acknowledging His
goodness, love majesty, and power. My voice is only
meant for shower concerts, so I roped in a radio to
assist me in songs of praise and worship. Almost every
day, I confessed my sins before God. Sometimes, I
would pick up my Bible and pray aloud a chapter or
two not forgetting thanking God for His love and
kindness. Dick Eastmans book helped me a lot.
Unfortunately, through complacency, arrogance
and unanswered prayers, the art of prayer slipped from
my hands.
I bowed to the internal pressure as the constant
prodding hammered my heart. I am a certified
bookworm, on average I read at least two hundred
books per year. Usually, I read two books at a time. So,
when confronted by my lack of knowledge regarding
prayer, I resorted to studying. No, not studying the
Bible,

but

books

written

by

fellow

believers.

Whenever, I realize I do not know a specific subject

area, be it in my studies or spiritual life, books are my
first port of call. It is not surprising in the past three
years I have acquired books that can turn a community
librarian in a city in developing countries green with
21

envy. Prayer was now on top of my list of bothersome

areas and I had to do everything in my power to master
it. That was the problem.
Prayer is not a subject to be mastered or an area
demanding expertise, but a practice that one needs to
engage. Several times this year, God has reminded me
I should not merely study prayer but engage in prayer.
I did not want to pray, I wanted to read. To add more
horns on my dilemma, all of my favorite authors
recently published books on prayer. Max Lucado had
Before Amen: The Power of Simple Prayer, DA Carson
Praying with Paul: A Call to Spiritual Reformation, and
Timothy Keller Prayer: Experiencing Awe and Intimacy
with God.
Do not buy the books, pray.
As anxiety mounted and crippled me, one
weekend I spent the whole day in bed. I did not want
to do anything, even watch a movie. I only wanted to
rest. I took my phone and opened my Bible app and
played the book of Luke. I kept repeating the book the
whole day. Finally, after listening for several hours, I
got my answer. Pray. God did not want me to simply
learn the whats, whens and hows of prayer, but to
simply pray. Prayer was not a course up for credit, but
an intimate conversation between a Father and his
22

beloved son, a King of kings and his servant and a

Groom and his bride.
LEARNING PRAYER THROUGH PARABLES
Now Jesus was praying in a certain place, and
when he finished, one of his disciples said to
him, "Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his
disciples."
Luke 11:1
Jesus Christs prayer life was vibrant and effective.
His disciples noticed it too. They saw Him retiring to
the mountain after a day spent preaching, teaching,
and healing the sick. When He worked miracles and
fed the hungry, they saw Him separating Himself from
the crowd into a hidden place to seek the heart of the
Father. At the mountain of transfiguration, the
disciples saw Christ in prayer being transformed in
glory. When a child harassed by demons was brought
before them, the disciples saw the power of prayer at
work in Christ as He cast out the evil spirits. In Jesus
Christ, the disciples saw the power of prayer and how
Christs prayer habits built who He was and
established His ministry. They too wanted to have that
kind of prayer life, who would not?
23

Just like most of us 2,000 years later, the disciples

were fond of scholarship. They did not mind a
postgraduate degree in prayerology or a signed copy of
How to Pray Like Jesus. Rather, Jesus opted not to offer
a lecture on what is authentic prayer, six steps to
effective prayer or why prayer is the only thing
necessary for a successful Christian life, but said,
When you pray, say: Father, hallowed be your
name, your kingdom come. Give us each day our daily
bread. Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone
who sins against us. And lead us not into temptation.
(Luke 11:3-4).
Christs statement was packed with several
assumptions that every believer should understand. In
His response Jesus assumed they all knew what prayer
was if they did not then the words of the prayer offered
an operational definition. Thus, if we take the Lords
Prayer as the operational definition of prayer then
most of the rumblings we offer to God as prayer
became obviously complaints and murmurings and
not a sacred conversation between a Creator and His
revered creation.
Another assumption inherent in the statement is
Christ assumed they already knew why they should
pray. Over the years, I had a warped view of when to
pray. I thought I should pray only when things go the
24

wrong way. My prayers were like a fire extinguisher,

only good when a fire breaks out. However, if they did
not know why they should pray, again the Lords
Prayer offered apt advice.
The last assumption packed in the statement is
Christ assumed they will pray. The statement was
more of an instruction than an invitation to pray. Jesus
expected the disciples to pray. On several occasions
throughout His ministry, Jesus encouraged the twelve
to pray. At one time, Jesus took James, John, and Peter
up a mountain and instructed them to watch and pray.
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus emphasized the
importance of prayer by listing it among the three
practices of righteousness. Christ expects us to pray.
Although Christ taught us how to pray and
expects us to pray, over the years my prayer fountain
dried up. One of the main reasons being my lack of
understanding on what prayer is. As I listened to the
book of Luke, I realized Jesus told His disciples three
parables that can revolutionize prayer. In these
parables, Jesus highlighted some of the wrong
perceptions people had on prayer. The main error
being our view of God. Jesus gave these parables as an
illustrative guide to help us know God as the Father
and King. Thus, knowing God transforms prayer.
25

1. Understand the Goodness of God

Reminiscing

on

my

setbacks

in

prayer,

discovered the fundamental reason my prayer life

waned like a dying candle was my uncertainty with
Gods faithfulness. Will God listen to the rumblings of
a messed up person like me, I would wonder. God is
true and faithful, that is indisputable, but I had my
doubts. I knew God was able to answer my prayer
through peace that surpasses all understanding, but I
doubted if He was willing.
I kept a mental ledger of Gods response to my
prayers. The balance seemed to tilt to the negative.
Many times I had cried to God and my prayers had
gone unanswered. For many years, I was elated at how
God always answered my prayers. For the past three
years, I have prayed many times for my research work.
Besides a journal article I published a year ago, nothing
has been improving. I have cried out to God for
wisdom and understanding many times, but nothing
has changed except my time is running out. So, when I
say I know God is able but is He willing, this is a
problem I face daily.
As doubt mounted, the parable of the persistent
friend came into mind. In the parable, Christ told a
story of a man who had visitors at night. In my culture,
26

when a person visits you it is customary to give them

something to eat, preferably sadza, a thick corn
porridge. Offering a guest a meal is symbolic to
extending a right hand of fellowship. So, when a friend
visits and I have nothing to give them I feel very bad. I
believe the man in the parable felt the same. If he failed
to give his guest a meal that was equivalent to
throwing them into the streets. He had to find some
bread quick, even though it was past sleeping hour.
The only person he knew could give them bread
was a friend. The man visited his friend and knocked
repeatedly. Jesus concluded the only reason he
received the bread was his importunity. The friend
only responded to persistence and not their friendship.
As human beings, we are often self-centered, with our
comfort and luxury more important than other
peoples needs. The friend considered a peaceful good
night sleep to be more precious than giving bread to
his friend. What happened to a friend in need is a
friend indeed?
Is Christ like the self-centered friend? Does God
value His comfort more than my struggles? Would He
rather spend the day watching the stars and counting
the galaxies than attend to my aid? Jesus compared the
self-centered friend and parents. Although evil, all
parents are pleased to give good gifts to their children.
27

When a kid cries for bread they do not give them rocks,
but bread. But God is not self-centered or evil, thus He
does not respond to persistence only. God answers our
prayers because of His sovereign goodness.
As pressure in my studies mount and my finances
continue in their instability, I choose to pray because
God is good. God is not limited by my persistence,
rather I limit my prayer life through my poor
understanding of the goodness of God. For that reason,
when we ask He gives us the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of
adoption that helps us cry out Abba, Father (Luke
11:13). The same Spirit helps us pray with groanings
that cannot be uttered.
2. Have Faith in God
For several years, I cherished the acronym PUSH:
Pray Until Something Happens. It was because of this
wrong, rather misguided, belief that I spent nearly
three weeks praying and fasting. I prayed day and
night for my finances and studies, but nothing
changed. Through listening to testimonies from other
believers who prayed until something happened, I
jumped on the bandwagon of ridiculously persistent
prayers. There is nothing wrong with being persistent,
but at times it exposes how much we doubt the Lord
we are calling unto.
28

Prayer is not limited to asking God to provide for

our needs, but may involve seeking justice for both
ourselves and others. In the past few months, there has
been a number of national tragedies around the globe.
In East Africa, more than 5,000 people died of Ebola
and believers prayed for health. As natural disasters,
earthquakes,

hurricanes,

tornadoes,

or

flooding

claimed lives and left many homeless, believers prayed

for provisions. God used many people to ensure many
people received good health, food and a place to sleep.
A few weeks ago, four gunmen stormed a
university in Kenya and gunned down all the students.
About 150 students were killed because of their faith,
adding to a trend spearheaded by Islamic extremist
groups. In one painful incident, a father heard her
daughter being killed over the phone at the university.
For almost a week, the death of the Christian students
in Kenya was another sad statistic. One morning, I
stumbled upon a Facebook page belonging to students
at Garissa University. It was not the graphic image of
bloody lifeless bodies that horrified me, but the cute
smiling images with the caption, does anyone know
where So-and-so is? The 150 dead people had names,
they had faces and friends that cared about them. Tears
welled up my inside as I read the comments pouring
in under most of the images.
29

I am sorry, So-and-so was among the comrades

we lost.
In one post, someone inquired about their friend
and were told she was alive. I do not know who that
lady is, but reading she that gave me a sigh of relief. In
that mourning community, I found something I had
not found in church for many years. They were not
vengeful or baying for blood. It was common
knowledge an Islamic extremist group was responsible
for the attack, but none of them raised a fit against Al
Shabaab. In every post I read, the students comforted
themselves in the Lord and reminded each other of
eternity. It seems eternity with Christ was more
important than vengeance.
The pain of the people affected by the Garissa
massacre is real. Thus, seeking justice is normal.
Jesus taught another parable about a widow who
wanted justice with her neighbor from an unjust ruler.
The woman wanted something that was contrary to
character and behavior of the ruler. For example, when
you ask for something from a stingy person you
already know your answer. He will not give it to you
because they are stingy by nature, a stingy person does
not give. The widow had nowhere else to go, the unjust
ruler was the only one who could help her, so she kept
making her requests known to the ruler.
30

The widow was so persistent that it became

bothersome and the ruler granted her wish. Although
justice was contrary to his nature, the ruler had to be
just in order to get rid of the woman. Like the selfcentered friend, the ruler valued his peace more than
justice or others and only persistence could move him.
Is God an unjust ruler? Will He fail to provide
justice for His children? When Hagar was cast away by
Sarah, the Lord visited her. Although she was partly to
blame for the woes that fell on her, God showed favor
to her and took care of both her and Ishmael. God is
righteous and just and through His grace, he even
extends to those who do not deserve it.
When looking at this parable, believers need to
take heed at Christs last words, Nevertheless, when
the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?
(Luke 18:8) Prayer is not about persistence or justice
only, but faith. As I scrolled through the posts on the
Garissa University Facebook page, I realized most of
these students had found what was important in
prayer. As they prayed for each other they did not let
the honest pursuit of justice distract them from their
faith in God. As a loving Father, God is not looking for
persistence, but faith because only through faith, we
can pray without losing heart (Luke 18:1, 1
Thessalonians 5:17).
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3. Be Humble
At one time, I attended my churchs national youth
conference. The conference was conducted in Harare,
so together with members of my youth group from
Karoi, we traveled to the bright lights of the Sunshine
City. Sitting in the bus going to the conference was a
miracle. When the conference was announced I prayed
to God that I wanted to go to the conference. Here I
was sitting in the bus with other young people, God
heard me.
Besides meeting new people, I learned a number of
things at the conference. One of the most important
lessons I learned was, never judge a brother by the
color of their suit. One morning as the service started,
the person who was leading the worship asked a
certain guy wearing a red dinner jacket to lead the
prayer. It was disastrous. To save face, the worship
leader jumped in and finished the prayer. Not all
people wearing super spiritual regalia know how to
pray.
Unfortunately, believers are often caught up in the
outward show of spirituality and miss out on an
authentic relationship with Christ. As a kid, I struggled
with pretending everything was fine when I was sick.
I could fake being well like a kid faking being sick,
32

afraid of a school bully. I mastered the art of faking but

never succeeded fooling my mom. She always knew
when I was faking. I did not like missing classing, so I
would fake being well when I was sick. Mom hated it;
it made her look like an uncaring mom. By faking, I
was not giving her an opportunity of being a mom to
me.
I approached prayer with the same attitude. For
many years, I thought a positive attitude and faking
was a testament of maturity and faith. Furthermore, I
was embroiled in the concept of rewards. I wanted to
out-perform God. After hearing a sermon about how
Hezekiah prayed to God to heal and add to his years
by pointing God to his good works. I wanted to do the
same. I wanted to be in a position where I could tell
God to look at the good things I did. In the end, I
prayed with the wrong attitude and the wrong motive.
In the last parable on prayer, Jesus talked about a
Pharisee and a publican. In a merit-based society,
spiritual acknowledgment was granted to people who
executed righteous deeds. As a result, the Pharisee
thought his works could buy off Gods favor. On the
other hand, acknowledged his wickedness and
realized he was at Gods mercy, there was nothing in
him that could provoke Gods favor. The Pharisee
looked up at himself, but the publican looked up at
33

God. Humility is not looking down at you, but looking

up at God. God gives grace to the humble and resists
the proud (1 Peter 5:6).

34

CHAPTER 2

Practices of Righteousness

A jungle with no smelly-berry fingerleaf

is too far for a jackal, no matter how close
it might be.

k
DID NOT WANT ANYONE

to know what I was doing,

especially my mom. Mom wanted me to focus on

my studies; I could not afford failing. Literally.

Every term, Mom went through thick and thin to make

sure my school fees were fully paid. I would not do
anything to disappoint her.

35

I will never forget the day mom almost cried

before me. She thought she had failed as a parent. I was
in form one, and the headmaster returned me home
because my school fees were not yet paid. Mom tried
to talk the headmaster into giving me a grace period,
but it all came to naught. It was painful watching her
trying to withhold tears.
I loved my mom and I never wanted to disappoint
her. Maybe that explains why I still work extra hard,
even when it is not necessary. I studied hard, very
hard, because I wanted to make her happy. The only
moments I remember seeing her excited was when she
looked at my school report. I wanted to keep that smile
on her face.
Like any other teenager, I had a secret passion theater. I loved theater. I enjoyed taking up a character
from a play and bringing it to life. With all the pain she
goes through to pay my school fees, Mom would never
approve of acting, I told myself.
In form two, equivalent to ninth grade in the US, I
wrote a play. Together with my close friends, Stephen,
Godfrey, and Lovemore, we began practicing acting
after school. Mom never bothered to ask when I went
home late. She assumed I was studying.
A teacher responsible for theater at our school
heard about our drama group. A few weeks later, a
36

new drama club was formed. My friends and I were

the founders. In less than half a year, our group was
touring schools in my town. Although, Karoi was a
small town and word spread fast, Mom never knew
about the tours.
In ChiShona, there is a proverb, rina manyanga
hariputirwi - what has horns cannot be hidden by
wrapping up. My school entered a regional drama
competition

and

we

were

the

runners

up.

Unfortunately, the Denzel Washington and Brad Pitt of

Zimbabwe, the late Collen "John Banda" Dube and the
late Mackay Tickays, voted me the best actor in the
competition. I was the talk of the town for a while.
Fortunately, people only remembered my stage
name. My secret was safe for a while, until one fateful
day. I took my mom for the parent-teacher day. I was
afraid one teacher would let out my secret. Everything
went well without incident, for a while.
"Do but worry about your son. He is not going to
pass, but excel. He studies hard; you already know
that. But Edmond is not only good in academics. You
probably saw the money he brought home. He was
voted by the top actors in Zimbabwe as the best actor
at a recent drama competition. "
Yes, Mom saw the $100, but I never told her it was
prize money. Mom never said anything. Maybe she
37

yearned to see me on stage and I deprived her. Mom is

gone now and she never got to see how her son was on
stage.
3 SECRETS THAT CAN TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE
We all have secrets, things that we do not want
anyone to know. It might be a hidden sin, a prom
picture with an awkward hairstyle, or a child out of
wedlock.

We

systematically

withhold

such

information because we are afraid that people will

judge us according to the secrets. Our actions
permitted these secrets to be a representation of who
we are now.
Not all secrets are bad; they are some good secrets.
I will never blurt out my bedroom activity with my
wife to anyone. It is a secret. The more I keep it that
way, the more intimate my relationship with my wife
becomes. They are times when secrecy is a mark of
knowledge and intimacy.
In the sermon on the mountain, Jesus Christ
revealed three secret practices He cherished. Christ
called these secrets practices of righteousness. They are
not activities one engages in to become righteous, but
they do them out of righteousness.
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What are these secret practices? Fasting, praying,

and giving. Pharisees fasted, not in secret, but for
everyone to see. Pharisees prayed, not in secret, but
with a loud voice at the marketplace. Pharisees gave,
not in secret, but with a public announcement.
Pharisees were better actors than me, Denzel
Washington or Collen Dube.
When I went on stage, I brought to life a character.
Tinashe was a preteen boy who lived with an abusive
step mom and an absent father. I walked like an
insecure kid, talked like one, but I was not one. I was
putting on a show. Unfortunately, many people are
putting on a Christian show.
1. Fasting
It has been long since I last fasted, and I can tell the
difference. When the disciples failed to cast evil spirits
out of a troubled kid, Jesus advised them, "This kind
can come out by nothing but prayer and fasting.
(Mark 9:29) At another incident, John's disciples asked
why Jesus' disciples were not fasting like them. Christ
responded, "Can the friends of the bridegroom mourn
as long as the bridegroom is with them? But the days
will come when the bridegroom will be taken away
from them, and then they will fast."
39

The early church fasted regularly. They recognized

it was an essential discipline critical for spiritual
growth. They did not only fast for things, a nice car,
good wife, and a paying job. Rather their fast was to
discipline their body, cultivating their desire for God.
All they needed was direction, guidance, and power in
ministering the gospel.
2. Prayer
If I sat down with my mom and told her how I
loved acting, she could have been my number one fan.
By hiding from her, I robbed both of us from sharing
the gift. My presumptuous concept of parental support
based on poorly interpreted experiences robbed us
both.
Unfortunately, such naive presumptions are
common in our relationship with God. My poor
understanding of my mother's love made my
relationship with her suffer. So does a poor knowledge
of the true nature of God. A gospel-centered prayer
brings a heartfelt conversation between the Redeemer
and the redeemed. It is an authentic exchange of
desires, dreams, and disappointments. Christ wants
this for us, hence His timeless advice: "When you pray,
say..." (Matthew 6 and Luke 11).
40

3. Giving
On stage, I shared my talent with thousands of
people, but those I cared about the most were missing.
Strangers ululated and whistled, drowning the town
hall with applause. I had given my best shot. On stage,
I was a brave kid who confronted his dad for sexually
abusing his daughter. In reality, I was a scared kid
afraid my mom will discover I was into theater.
The early church grew exponentially because
people saw how they loved each other. Everyone gave
everything they had. They gave remembering the cost
of their salvation. Alms were offered to the poor out of
love. They could show love through giving because
they too had been shown love at the Cross.
THE RIGHTEOUS IN THE SECRET PLACE
Through faith in Christ, we are the righteousness
of God. We do not fast, pray, or give to become
righteous, but because we are righteous. We fast, pray,
and give through faith. Since faith is being fully
persuaded that God can do what He promise; fasting,
praying, and giving assumes we know God's promise
and His true nature.
An effective practice of righteousness has Christ at
the center. We fast because the kingdom of God is not
41

a matter of eating and drinking, but righteousness,

peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. We pray because the
sheep knows the Shepherd's voice. We give because
Christ first gave. All this we do in secret, for our Father
is with us in the secret place.
The secret place is a rendezvous of intimacy,
where the hidden things in our hearts become obvious.
In this place, we are not afraid to laugh as if we lost our
minds because we will be standing before someone
who truly knows us. When Christ is part of the secret,
we can cry together. An atmosphere of authentic
lamentation and praise fill the secret place. Hannah
cried, Jeremiah lamented, and David praised in the
secret place.
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I
will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my
fortress, my God, in whom I trust." For he will
deliver you from the snare of the fowler and
from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you
with his pinions, and under his wings you will
find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and
buckler.
Psalm 91:1-4
42