arr2ais Beter than Belore: A Psychological Feld Guide fo Harnessing the Transformative Power of Hai | Brain Picking
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Better than Before: A Psychological
Field Guide to Harnessing the
Transformative Power of Habit
by Maria Popova
How to lay a steadfast foundation for “the invisible
architecture of daily life.”
behavior hecalledthe“enormous fi wneelot Better Than Before
society." Inthe century since, our civilizational Se
love affair with habit has only intensified — S
we've become besotted with the daily routines Mostering the Heb
ofluminaries and transfixed by the psychology utero ae
Menonrcurcuniines Betarmuchaswe Gretchen Rubin
Tusa these shiny routines and beneficial wig
behaviors, we slave an enormoualy bard
time changing our habia, And yet ax Mary Oliver memorably wrote, “The
patterns of our lives reveal us. Our habits measure us."
al
In Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives (public
library}, Gretchen Rubin picks up where James left off, integrating a wealth of
insight from psychology, sociology, and anthropology in an illuminating field
{guide to hamessing the transformative power of habit in modern life. The idea
for this book came from a recurring observation Rubin made in the aftermath of
her last, the indispensable The Happiness Project — readers kept telling her about
“before and after" pattern in their conquest of happiness, wherein the
formation ofa particular habit became a major turning point. So she set out to
explore the deeper mysteries of these obvious turning points — why we have a
hard time forming even habits we enjoy, what separates people who are able to
adopt or drop habits overnight from those who aren't, how we rationalize our
‘willful blindness to the consequences of our habits, and more.
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Beter than Belore: A Psychological Feld Guide fo Harnessing the Transformative Power of Hai | Brain Picking
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Rubin, a self-described "kind of street scientist," writes:
Habits are the invisible architecture of daily life. We repeat
about 40 percent of our behavior almost daily, so our habits
shape our existence, and our future. If we change our habits,
we change our lives.
‘The most valuable aspect of habit, Rubin suggests, is its capacity to become an
automated conservation mechanism for self-control, that enormously taxing
exertion of our willpower:
Self-control is a crucial aspect of our lives. People with better
self-control (or self-regulation, self-discipline, or willpower) are
happier and heal
stronger relationships and more career success; they manage
stress and conflict better; they live longer; they steer clear of
bad habits. Self.control allows us to keep our commitments
to ourselves. Yet one study suggests that when we try to use
self-control to resist temptation, we succeed only about half
the time, and indeed, in a large international survey, when
people were asked to identify their failings, a top choice was,
lack of self-control.
ler. They're more altruistic; they have
‘And that's why habits matter so much. With habits, we
conserve our self-control
Although the commonly agreed upon definition of habit includes several
attributes of the behavior — itis recurrent, cued by a specific context, often
performed unconsciously, acquired through repetition — Rubin argues that the
hipslvww trairpickings org2018/00230eterthan-before-grechen ubinarr2ais Beter than Belore: A Psychological Feld Guide fo Harnessing the Transformative Power of Hai | Brain Picking
true root of habit is decision-making or, rather, the lack thereof, A habit
alleviates the cognitive load of having to choose one course of action over
another and, in doing so, relieves our exertion of willpower:
Habits make change possible by freeing us from decision
making and from using self-control
td
When possible, the brain makes a behavior into a habit,
which saves effort and therefore gives us more capacity to
deal with complex, novel, or urgent matters, Habits mean we
don't strain ourselves to make decisions, weigh choices, dole
out rewards, or prod ourselves to begin. Life becomes simpler,
and many daily hassles vanish.
Because the application of self-control itself stresses our cognitive resources, a
solid infrastructure of habit matters all the more when we're under stress:
When we're worried or overtaxed, a habit comforts us.
Research suggests that people feel more in control and less
anxious when engaged in habit behavior. .. When we're
anxious or tired, we fall back on our habits, whether bad or
ood... For this reason, it's all the more important to try to
shape habits mindfully, so that when we fall back on them at
times of stress, we're following activities that make our
situation better, not worse.
‘And yet there is a fine line between alleviating the cognitive load of decision-
making and succumbing to a mindless trance of existence that carries us
through life. (Thave written about this previously in contemplating the crucial
‘equipoise of routine and ritual.) Touching on the strange psychology of our
‘warped time-perception, Rubin readily acknowledges this:
Habits speed time, because when every day is the same,
experience shortens and blurs; by contrast, time slows down
when habits are interrupted, when the brain must process
of a ae new information.
ees
a tna seninenthaalo mind Thorens onwhatitmenets etry ake
and Annie Dillard's famous proclamation that “how we spend our days is, of,
course, how we spend our lives,” Rubin adds:
Habit makes it dangerously easy to become numb to our own
existence.
For good and bad, habits are the invi
Me,
le architecture of daily
hipslvww trairpickings org2018/00230eterthan-before-grechen ubinarr2ais Beter than Belore: A Psychological Feld Guide fo Harnessing the Transformative Power of Hai | Brain Picking
SUSAN SONTAG
ON Love
Hegrex LIFE,
IF YoU DON'T LiKE Your Jon, QUIE
START DOING THINGS YOU LOVE.
Flor ovis mulvaing actoraee
TRAVEL OFTEN; Ses uost a
{He THINGS YOU CREATE WITH THEM
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LIFE | AND SHARE
SHORT. Your Passion.
Indeed, this is Rubin's most vital point — while habits require no decision:
‘making in their application, with their formation we decide our destiny; we are,
as James wrote, “spinning our fates” whenever we set a new habit into motion or
screech an old one to a halt. In addressing these “twin riddles ofhow to change
ourselves and how to change our habits,” Rubin reflects on her own life:
Habit is a good servant but a bad master. Although | wanted
the benefits that habits offer, | didn't want to become a
bureaucrat of my own life, trapped in paperwork of my own
making.
Instead, she set out to understand how we can cultivate only those habits that
make us “feel freer and stronger.” She outlines the sequential interplay of
conscious and unconscious behaviors at the root of fruitful habit-formation:
When we change our habits, we change our lives. We can
use decision making to choose the habits we want to form,
we can use willpower to get the habit started; then — and
this is the best part — we can allow the extraordinary power
of habit to take over. We take our hands off the wheel of
decision, our foot off the gas of willpower, and rely on the
cruise control of habits.
‘That's the promise of habit.
‘Tobe sure, an over-reliance on habit puts us a risk of hitting the “OK plateau” of
performance and personal growth, but Rubin makes room for the necessaty
conscious counterpoint to behavioral cruise control:
hipslvww trairpickings org2018/00230eterthan-before-grechen ubinaris Beter than Belore: A Psychological Feld Guide fo Harnessing the Transformative Power of Hai | Brain Picking
must-reads
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For a happy Ife, it's important to cultivate an atmosphere of
‘growth — the sense that we're learning new things, getting
stronger, forging new relationships, making things better,
helping other people. Habits have a tremendous role to play in
‘creating an atmosphere of growth, because they help us
make consistent, reliable progress. .. By mindfully choosing
our habits, we harness the power of mindlessness as a
‘sweeping force for serenity, energy, and growth.
Muratyan, Click image for mor
Rubin goes on to identify several key psychological archetypes that determine
our relationship with habit, the most fascinating of which deals with how we
handle the two types of expectations in life — outer (such as our work
obligations and the law] and inner (such as our moral values and personal
commitments}. She identifies four distinct groups into which everyone falls:
+ Upholders respond readily to both outer expectations
and inner expectations.
+ Questioners question all expectations, and will meet an
expectation only if they believe it's justified.
+ Obligers respond readily to outer expectations but
struggle to meet inner expectations.
+ Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike,
Arguably the most delicate balance of inner and outer expectations takes place
in intimate relationships, where we constantly tussle with the polarizing pull of
retaining our individual habits, which help us maintain our sense of identity,
and negotiating shared habits, which bring us closer together into coupledom.
Ina sentiment that calls to mind a lament from young Susan Sontag's diary
regarding her unhappy marriage — “In marriage, Ihave suffered a certain loss of,
personality,” she wrote on Valentine’s Day in 1957 — Rubin cautions:
hipslvww trairpickings org2018/00230eterthan-before-grechen ubinaris ‘etter than Before: A Psychological Field Guide o Harnessing the Transformative Power of Habit | Brain Pickings
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Changing a habit is much more challenging if that new habit
means altering or losing an aspect of ourselves.
But this relationship between habit and identity is largely @ matter of the same
inner storytelling on which our sanity relies. Rubin writes:
Research shows that we tend to believe what we hear
ourselves say, and the way we describe ourselves influences
our view of our identity, and from there, our habits. If | say,
“Im lazy,” “I can’t resist a sale,” “Ill try anything once,” “I
never start work until the last minute,” or “Im lucky,” these
Ideas become part of my identity, which in turn influences my
actions.
In one study, one group of registered voters was asked, “How
important is it to you to vote?” while another group was,
asked “How important is it to you to be a voter?” The second
‘group was more likely to vote in the next election, because
‘voting had been cast as an expression of identity — “This is
the kind of person | am” — not just a task to be done.
Identity can help us live up to our own values: “I'm not
someone who wastes time at work," “I'm no shirker,” “If say
Til show up, I show up.”
SHOW uP
In the remainder of Better Than Before, Rubin goes on to explore what we can do
to break out ofthe limiting identities we habitually lock into, why the habit-
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identity pipeline flows in two directions in interpersonal relationships, and how
‘we can begin to lay the foundation of fruitful habits. Complement it with Mary
Oliver on habit and the cognitive science of the ideal daily routine.
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