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WRITERSONWRITINGEasyontheAdverbs,ExclamationPointsandEspeciallyHooptedoodleTheNewYorkTimes

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July16,2001
WRITERSONWRITING

WRITERSONWRITINGEasyontheAdverbs,
ExclamationPointsandEspeciallyHooptedoodle
ByELMORELEONARD

ThesearerulesI'vepickedupalongthewaytohelpmeremaininvisiblewhenI'mwritingabook,
tohelpmeshowratherthantellwhat'stakingplaceinthestory.Ifyouhaveafacilityforlanguage
andimageryandthesoundofyourvoicepleasesyou,invisibilityisnotwhatyouareafter,andyou
canskiptherules.Still,youmightlookthemover.
1.Neveropenabookwithweather.
Ifit'sonlytocreateatmosphere,andnotacharacter'sreactiontotheweather,youdon'twantto
goontoolong.Thereaderisapttoleafaheadlookingforpeople.Thereareexceptions.Ifyou
happentobeBarryLopez,whohasmorewaystodescribeiceandsnowthananEskimo,youcan
doalltheweatherreportingyouwant.
2.Avoidprologues.
Theycanbeannoying,especiallyaprologuefollowinganintroductionthatcomesaftera
foreword.Buttheseareordinarilyfoundinnonfiction.Aprologueinanovelisbackstory,andyou
candropitinanywhereyouwant.
ThereisaprologueinJohnSteinbeck's''SweetThursday,''butit'sO.K.becauseacharacterinthe
bookmakesthepointofwhatmyrulesareallabout.Hesays:''IlikealotoftalkinabookandI
don'tliketohavenobodytellmewhattheguythat'stalkinglookslike.Iwanttofigureoutwhathe
lookslikefromthewayhetalks....figureoutwhattheguy'sthinkingfromwhathesays.Ilike
somedescriptionbutnottoomuchofthat....SometimesIwantabooktobreakloosewitha
bunchofhooptedoodle....Spinupsomeprettywordsmaybeorsingalittlesongwithlanguage.
That'snice.ButIwishitwassetasidesoIdon'thavetoreadit.Idon'twanthooptedoodletoget
mixedupwiththestory.''
3.Neveruseaverbotherthan''said''tocarrydialogue.
Thelineofdialoguebelongstothecharactertheverbisthewriterstickinghisnosein.Butsaidis
farlessintrusivethangrumbled,gasped,cautioned,lied.IoncenoticedMaryMcCarthyendinga
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WRITERSONWRITINGEasyontheAdverbs,ExclamationPointsandEspeciallyHooptedoodleTheNewYorkTimes

lineofdialoguewith''sheasseverated,''andhadtostopreadingtogetthedictionary.
4.Neveruseanadverbtomodifytheverb''said''...
...headmonishedgravely.Touseanadverbthisway(oralmostanyway)isamortalsin.The
writerisnowexposinghimselfinearnest,usingawordthatdistractsandcaninterruptthe
rhythmoftheexchange.Ihaveacharacterinoneofmybookstellhowsheusedtowritehistorical
romances''fullofrapeandadverbs.''
5.Keepyourexclamationpointsundercontrol.
Youareallowednomorethantwoorthreeper100,000wordsofprose.Ifyouhavetheknackof
playingwithexclaimersthewayTomWolfedoes,youcanthrowtheminbythehandful.
6.Neverusethewords''suddenly''or''allhellbrokeloose.''
Thisruledoesn'trequireanexplanation.Ihavenoticedthatwriterswhouse''suddenly''tendto
exerciselesscontrolintheapplicationofexclamationpoints.
7.Useregionaldialect,patois,sparingly.
Onceyoustartspellingwordsindialoguephoneticallyandloadingthepagewithapostrophes,you
won'tbeabletostop.NoticethewayAnnieProulxcapturestheflavorofWyomingvoicesinher
bookofshortstories''CloseRange.''
8.Avoiddetaileddescriptionsofcharacters.
WhichSteinbeckcovered.InErnestHemingway's''HillsLikeWhiteElephants''whatdothe
''Americanandthegirlwithhim''looklike?''Shehadtakenoffherhatandputitonthetable.''
That'stheonlyreferencetoaphysicaldescriptioninthestory,andyetweseethecoupleandknow
thembytheirtonesofvoice,withnotoneadverbinsight.
9.Don'tgointogreatdetaildescribingplacesandthings.
Unlessyou'reMargaretAtwoodandcanpaintsceneswithlanguageorwritelandscapesinthe
styleofJimHarrison.Butevenifyou'regoodatit,youdon'twantdescriptionsthatbringthe
action,theflowofthestory,toastandstill.
Andfinally:
10.Trytoleaveoutthepartthatreaderstendtoskip.
Arulethatcametomindin1983.Thinkofwhatyouskipreadinganovel:thickparagraphsof
proseyoucanseehavetoomanywordsinthem.Whatthewriterisdoing,he'swriting,
perpetratinghooptedoodle,perhapstakinganothershotattheweather,orhasgoneintothe
character'shead,andthereadereitherknowswhattheguy'sthinkingordoesn'tcare.I'llbetyou
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don'tskipdialogue.
Mymostimportantruleisonethatsumsupthe10.
Ifitsoundslikewriting,Irewriteit.
Or,ifproperusagegetsintheway,itmayhavetogo.Ican'tallowwhatwelearnedinEnglish
compositiontodisruptthesoundandrhythmofthenarrative.It'smyattempttoremaininvisible,
notdistractthereaderfromthestorywithobviouswriting.(JosephConradsaidsomethingabout
wordsgettinginthewayofwhatyouwanttosay.)
IfIwriteinscenesandalwaysfromthepointofviewofaparticularcharactertheonewhose
viewbestbringsthescenetolifeI'mabletoconcentrateonthevoicesofthecharacterstelling
youwhotheyareandhowtheyfeelaboutwhattheyseeandwhat'sgoingon,andI'mnowherein
sight.
WhatSteinbeckdidin''SweetThursday''wastitlehischaptersasanindication,thoughobscure,of
whattheycover.''WhomtheGodsLoveTheyDriveNuts''isone,''LousyWednesday''another.The
thirdchapteristitled''Hooptedoodle1''andthe38thchapter''Hooptedoodle2''aswarningstothe
reader,asifSteinbeckissaying:''Here'swhereyou'llseemetakingflightsoffancywithmywriting,
anditwon'tgetinthewayofthestory.Skipthemifyouwant.''
''SweetThursday''cameoutin1954,whenIwasjustbeginningtobepublished,andI'venever
forgottenthatprologue.
DidIreadthehooptedoodlechapters?Everyword.
WritersonWriting
Thisarticleispartofaseriesinwhichwritersexploreliterarythemes.Previouscontributions,
includingessaysbyJohnUpdike,E.L.Doctorow,EdMcBain,AnnieProulx,JamaicaKincaid,
SaulBellowandothers,canbefoundwiththisarticleatTheNewYorkTimesontheWeb:
www.nytimes.com/arts
Photo:ElmoreLeonard,whosenewnovel,''TishomingoBlues,''isdueoutnextFebruary,outside
hishomeinBloomfieldVillage,Mich.,onThursday.(AllanBarnesforTheNewYorkTimes)(pg.
E2)
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