25 Psychological Life Hacks that Will Help

You Gain the Advantage in Social

Situations

Social situations are among the most important in our lives. Yet, there is a huge
chance that you are oblivious to the plethora of unwritten social rules that
structure everybodys behaviour. Failing to comply to these cultural imprints can
cause irreversible damage. Just following them blindly will not get you ahead.
Hacking them, however, will give you the best results possible. Therefore we bring
to you these 25 psychological life hacks that will help you gain the advantage in
social situations

1) Assume comfort in any interaction.

Our brain is an incredibly complicated instrument. Our relationship with it, is a

love-hate one. We think we have control over it but usually something
unconsciousdictates our actions.
In most of our social interactions, we find it difficult to feel comfortable among
strangers because our brain tries to protect us from exposure.
This however isnt helping us when trying to be social and meet new people, is it?
This is why assuming comfort is so powerful. Commanding your brain to feel that
you already know the person you are about to meet puts you in a position of
advantage. It increases the chances of people showing interest in you and
consequently even liking you.

2) Pay attention to peoples feet when you

are approaching them.
Interrupting people when they are in the middle of an important conversation is
one of the most annoying things to do. It shows that you have zero knowledge of
social dynamics whichwill lead to unpleasant social situations.
When you approach a group of people while in a conversation, pay attention to
their bodies. If they turn only their torsos and not their feet, it means they are in
the middle of an important conversation and they dont want you to interrupt
them.
If they turn both torso and feet, it means you are welcome. This is extremely
important, because the right timing in such situations may put you in a position of
advantage, especially if the conversation was boring for both sides.

3) Whenever you have an argument with

someone, stand next to them and not in front
of them.
Weve all been in situations where out of nowhere the conversation started
escalating.
Unless you love drama, I would suggest you to avoid these situations. You might
have the best argument in the world, but usually people get irritated when they feel
they are wrong.
So, whenever you feel that the argument you have with another person (especially
friends its not cool to fight with friends) creates tension, move next to them. You
wont appear much of a threat, and they will eventually calm down.

4) Whenever you need a favor, open with I

need your help.
Admit it. We all love to get others to do stuff for us. Either because we are lazy, or
because we really need some help to complete a task.
Social dynamics show that when it comes to platonic relationships, nobody really
likes an asshole. So whenever you need a favor, start your sentence with I need
your help.
In most cases, people will accept your request and help you out. This occurs
because we dont really like the guilt of not helping someone out and we do like to
be the one who is capable of helping.

5) If you want people to feel good, give them

validation. Rephrase what they just told you.
We love validation. Most of our actions are the outcome of our need for validation.
So what is the best way to get people to like you
(http://www.highexistence.com/real-secret-making-people-like/)? Give them
what they need of course. A simple example, is when you are in a conversation with
another person and he says something really important for him. After he finishes,
rephrase what he just said in your own words. This will make him think that you
are a good listener and that you are really interested in him. It makes him feel he is
the center of attention. Thats validation right there.

Why Life Hacks Dont Work If You Dont Get Your Shit Together First
(http://www.highexistence.com/wake-up-from-the-matrix/)

6) If you want to get a positive response

from someone, nod while you talk.
This one is extremely powerful and also a bit manipulative especially if the person
is suggestive. So use it with your own responsibility and in an ethical way. Getting a
positive response from someone is usually what we want. Whether it is making a
sale, or promoting a viewpoint, we always want people to get on board. Nodding
while you try to deliver your message is a powerful way to get the person to agree
with you. People usually like mimicking, so they will most probably nod back while
(/) communicate to
Jointheir
(/join) brains that they have to
you talk. This will subsequently

with you.
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In (/signin?redirect_to=/25-psychological-life-hacks-help-gain-advantage-social-

situations/)

7) Want to see if someone is paying attention

to what you are saying? Fold your arms.

Usually when we are in the middle of a conversation and especially if we talk about
something very important to us, we get lost in our talking and rarely pay attention
to whether the other person is following or not. So instead of losing time talking to
a person who is distracted and might not even be interested in what you are
saying, do this. Fold your arms while talking and see if the other person follows
your move. If the other person is observing you and pays attention, they will most
likely mimic you.

8) Having trouble remembering names?

Repeat the other persons name during the
conversation.
I suck at remembering names. I usually dont even listen to the other person when
he says his name the moment we get introduced to each other. So usually, I ask a
friend to introduce himself to the person so I can listen to his name. But then I
forget it again. Awkward. Remembering names is very important because we feel
important when someone mentions us. So the moment you meet someone repeat
his name. Example: Hi my name is Alex Nice to meet you Alex. So, Alex how do
you know John? And continue to repeat his name throughout the conversation.

9) If you ask someone a question and they

only partially answer, just wait. They will
keep talking.
This is a very common situation when you dont know the other person that well or
your question wasnt clear enough. If they finish the answer without providing a full
answer, just wait. Stay silent and keep eye contact. If the tension becomes
unbearable, raise your eyebrows. It puts a bit of pressure on them but it
communicates that you show interest. It also sub-communicates that you are a
person that usually gets what he wants.

10) People usually focus on the emotion and

not on the subject.
This is very useful in public speaking but also in building rapport with an
acquaintance. Whenever you introduce yourself to new people, most probably they
have already heard what you are about to say. Well thats not a problem. Even if you
want to talk about the most boring topic in the world, make sure of one thing:
Always try to evoke emotions. From my experience the 3 emotions that you want
to evoke are: Excitement Laughter: Everyone likes to laugh Intrigue: Leave a
little mystery so the other person has to invest energy to hear more. Dont be
purposely distant, but avoid verbal diarrhea.
There are many techniques to turn a boring conversation into an exciting and
intriguing one, but here are a couple of my favorites:
Pause: A lot of the time when we want to keep someones
attention, we tend to talk really fast, but this
subcommunicates neediness and nervousness. A well-placed
pause can create tension that makes your words have more
gravitas.
Tone and Inflection: No one finds monotone exciting. Switch
up your tone of voice from deep for declarative statements,
to high inflection when you want to leave them guessing.
Paint pictures and compose symphonies in their mind with
sensory details: When telling a story, take the person youre
talking to on an emotional journey by describing the colors,
sounds, textures, tastes, smells, and how they made you feel.
This will cause their mirror-neurons to fire off, making it
easier for them to imagine actually being there with you.
So if you want to be memorable, focus on the emotion behind the words. People
may forget what you say, but they will never forget how you make them feel.

READ: 8 Ways to be UBER Charismatic (http://www.highexistence.com/8ways-to-be-uber-charismatic/)

11) Confidence is more important than

knowledge.
Two young candidates walked into the interview office to apply for the same job.
The first one had a Phd, two Masters and a Bachelors degree. The second one had
just a Bachelor. The first one was kind of shy, didnt talk much, his body language
was turned inward. The second one had an upright posture, was looking the
interviewers directly in the eyes, showed a lot of interest in the job and his answers
where emitting confidence. We dont have to tell you who got the job.

12) Fake it until you make it.

No one became an expert on anything over night. However, the learning process in
everything you do is accelerated by commanding your brain to think what you
want it to think. In simple words. You are what you believe you are. You are
confident if you believe you are confident You are attractive if you believe you are
attractive You are extrovert if you believe you are extrovert If you want to look
deeper into this idea look up two words. Neuroplasticity
(http://www.highexistence.com/its-all-in-your-head-how-to-take-advantageof-neuroplasticity/) and brain rewiring (http://www.highexistence.com/howporn-rewires-the-brain-is-porn-bad-for-you/).

13) Pose in a Power Stance.

This is similar to the previous point, but more concrete than a mantra or belief. Go
stand in the mirror, put your hands on your hips, thrust your pelvic forward, pull
your shoulders up, back and down, open your chest, tilt your head up, and force
the biggest smile you can possibly manage to fit across your face. Even if you
consciously know youre just faking it, your brain cant tell the difference, and will

release endorphins to match your body position. This can feel silly, but it really
works
(http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?
language=en).

14) If you want to be persuasive, try and

reduce the use of the words I think and I
believe.
I dont really feel the need to elaborate on this one. Obviously these words do not
evoke confidence and the other person will most probably not take you seriously.
Change them to I know and I will instead.

15) A clean and organised environment

affects your mood, productivity, and others
perception of who you are.
How many times have you waken up without any motivation at all? How many
times have you started working on something without being able to get focused
and inspired? Next time this happens, take a look around you. Is your environment
clean and well-organized? If not, take some minutes to clean it up and put
everything into place. You will feel refreshed and reborn and productivity will spark
immediately. But not only that, you will come across as caring and punctual, two
highly esteemed traits. Why do think most of the big companies pay so much
attention to creating the best working environment for their employees? They
know what makes them happy and how it affects their productivity.

16) Want to find out which people are close

to each other within a group and who is
perceived as the leader?
Pay attention to who is looking at each other when everyone in the group laughs at
a joke. People instinctively look at and agree with the person they feel closest to
within the group.

17) Whenever you call a person you want to

meet, show excitement!
Always have this in mind. Excitement is contagious. Why do you think the music
video from Pharrell Williams Happy got so many views and so many people
were talking about it?
People love excitement! It is like an escape from their boring lives. Never forget
that.
(You can mirror this and show disappointment if somebody lets you down, making
them painfully aware of their hurtful actions.)

18) Want to build rapport and gain respect?

Match body language.
This is quite a common topic among body language experts and works well if you
want to gain respect from a person that has high value.
Example:

You are in a social situation where a person has higher value among others within
the group. He is the center of attention and he totally enjoys it. How do you match
his value? By befriending him!
If you want his respect and attention the best thing to do when you approach him
is to match his body language and speaking patterns. If he has open body language
and he talks with excitement and joy, dont go there with crossed arms and with an
attitude of negating his words.
Approach him with the same amount of excitement and show openness and
interest.

19) When someone insults you, either ignore

him or mock him. Never lose temper. Always
control the frame.
Haters are everywhere. The more you feed them with hate, the stronger they
become. Never lose your temper. This is a great example of how to deal with a
hater. Enjoy!

19) Stand up straight, have warm hands and

always keep eye contact.
Keep a straight posture and walk like a born leader. This sub-communicates
confidence and others will respect youautomatically.
Keep your hands out of your pockets. If you dont know what to do with them, it is
better to fold your arms rather than keep them inside your pockets.
Keep your hands warm. If you have a warm hand when you shake somebodys
hand, you immediately become a more desirable person to get along with. Secret
Tip wash your hands with warm water often to keep them warm or take cold
showers. (http://www.highexistence.com/the-wim-hof-method-revealed-howto-consciously-control-your-immune-system/)

 You have heard this a thousand times. Here is the 1001st. never lose eye contact!
Losing eye contact is like losing your confidence. One cool trick when first meeting
someone is to focus on their eye color and smile at the same time. The eyes are the
gateway to the soul, and taking the extra second to gaze shows you are confident
and present. (Be sure to move your eyes away periodically, a constant stare will
creep people out.)

20) The Benjamin Franklin Effect.

The Ben Franklin effect is a psychological finding:
A person who has done someone a favor is more likely to do that person another
favor than they would be if they had received a favor from that person. Similarly,
one who harms another is more willing to harm them again than the victim is to
retaliate.
This is an unbelievable finding. In social situations, you can hack this by making
someone do something small for you, then asking for your true favor.Its such a
small favor that they will say yes, and due to cognitive dissonance their brain will
rationalize that they must like you enough to do you a favor in the first place. This
is also called the foot-in-the-door effect.

21) Dont be afraid to touch another person.

Touching someone on the shoulder or their knees creates an emotional and
physical bond. Especially during moments of joy, laughter and excitement touching
positively reinforces these traits. If youre uncomfortable with touching, remember
12, fake it until you make it.

22) Use the door-in-the-face hack.

The opposite of foot-in-the-door. Make an unreasonably large request that will

most likely be turned down (but if it isnt then thats even better!), and follow up
with your true intended, more reasonable request. The other person will be more
likely to agree to the second request.

23) Always frame a request as a choice.

No one likes to feel pressured into doing something they dont want to do. By
subtlety rephrasing a request, you can make the person feel like they came to the
decision on their own terms.
Homeless people who say things like, its up to you if you want to donate or not
end up making more money than those who simply ask for money. The same is
generally true for bands that offer pay what you want payment structures for
their music. They know you can easily download their music for free off the
internet, so they encourage you to pay what you feel is right.
A slightly more aggressive technique is the assumptive close:
This is a classic sales technique that can be used in any social situation. Instead of
asking for permission, do you want to donate/go on a date/get something to eat
assume that the person already does. Of course, you cant just force someone to do
something, but a leading question can nudge them in the right direction: Would
you like to donate 5 dollars or 10 dollars?
Now instead of simply saying yes or no, they have to actively deny your request and
feel like a naysayer.

24) If you work in a bar or in customer

service of any kind

Put a mirror behind you at the counter. When an angry customer approaches you,
he will have to see himself in the mirror and will most probably calm down. Nobody
likes ruining his image.

25) Chew gum if you are nervous.

Evolutionarily speaking, our brains assume that if we are eating then we arent in
any immediate danger, so the fight or flight response is weakened.

There you have it. The 25 most useful psychological life hacks that can help
you gain advantage in social situations. Use them wisely.

This article was originally published inThe Quintessential Man (http://thequintessentialman.com), and edited for HighExistence.

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My Blog Posts (/writer/Andrian)

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sarahamor (http://www.highexistence.com/people/sarahamormino/)

(50)

November 23, 2014

(/join?

This was a delightful read. Something that should definitely be shared, and through practice and
redirect_to=http://www.highexistence.com/25psychologicalroutine, I have no doubt that it will be. Cheers!
lifehackshelpgainadvantagesocialsituations/)
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paulette dodson (http://www.highexistence.com/people/alexjohn/)

Agreed its absolutely great read..

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(0)

March 12, 2015

socialsituations/)
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DCEEZY (http://www.highexistence.com/people/dustin/)

(4)

December 26, 2014

(/join?

Some people lack confidence. Some people are picked on and bullied. There are some tools in
redirect_to=http://www.highexistence.com/25psychologicalthis article that combat these issues. It doesnt make you a sociopath.
life- I am an actor and I use body language to portray different types of characters. To portray high

hackshelp-

class and high confidence characters I stand very close to how #13 is described minus the
unnaturally big smile. Also I speak slower and my dialogue is generally written for me to speak in

gain-

complete sentences. I make eye contact and do not shift my weight. More important than the
advantagesocial- stance I take, is the ability to stand rather still but not overly still. Often times after playing this
situations/)
type of character, I will subconsciously continue to do this in my personal life for a time. The
2

same is true for the opposite type of character. To portray this type of character I avoid eye
contact and am generally rather twitchy.
For ethical reasons, I try not to be manipulative. Im not acting in my personal life, but when Im
confronted by a bully I have used similar techniques to change the dynamic of a potentially
uncomfortable and unwanted situation. I believe it is unethical to use these types of behaviors to
impose your will onto people. Above all else, if you use any or all of these, remember who YOU
are. Being yourself is the most powerful thing you can be. Use the information in this article to be
the best YOU you can be.

Silvermeow (http://www.highexistence.com/people/silvermeow/)

(2)

July 29, 2015

(/join?

Most of these are things that would only work on real unconfident people that take the least
redirect_to=http://www.highexistence.com/25psychologicalresistance way out. You should of added at the end not to fake all this stupid shit and be yourself
life- because then instead of getting with the popular people everyone likes and fitting in you can
hacks-

find true friends and have a happier life.

helpgain-

advantagesocialsituations/)
1

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Eric (http://www.highexistence.com/people/blankey/)

Awesome. Thanks!
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1

(1,789)

September 7, 2014


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jelica ()

(12)

September 3, 2014

Yea Ive decided this is sociopathic too but society is competitive. If thats the game you like to

redirect_to=http://www.highexistence.com/25-

play its easy to learn the rules. You can transcend power plays by making a servant of yourself
psychologicallife- or being audacious or arrogant.
hackshelpgainadvantagesocialsituations/)
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Shahin (http://www.highexistence.com/people/shahin/)

(0)

September 8, 2014

Interesting
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jelica ()

(12)

September 3, 2014

(/join?

I think socializing would be better for everyone if we didnt see frame control as a way to
redirect_to=http://www.highexistence.com/25psychologicalmanipulate others but only as a way to protect ourselves.
lifehackshelpgainadvantagesocialsituations/)
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Bryan Hellard (http://www.highexistence.com/people/xyver/)

(297)

September 5, 2014

Except if everyone was protecting themselves, how would they ever open up to anyone? No
redirect_to=http://www.highexistence.com/25psychologicalcommunication is the safest bet, and the most self protective.
lifehackshelpgainadvantagesocialsituations/)
1

(/join?

jelica ()

(12)

September 3, 2014

redirect_to=http://www.highexistence.com/25I appreciate this article though. You have to speak the same language as others if you want to
psychologicallife-

participate and it emphasizes freedom of mind a lot.

hackshelpgainadvantagesocialsituations/)
1

phishenchips ()

(0)

September 3, 2014

(/join?

Are you a sociopath? Do you see people as objects f

redirect_to=http://www.highexistence.com/25psychologicallifehackshelpgainadvantagesocialsituations/)
1