Dramatis Personae:

Ma Lu a loner and rhino keeper obsessed with his neighbor, Ming Ming, whose unrequited
love drives him to extremes.
Ming Ming Malus neighbour, a product of her time, materialistic and modern, hopelessly in
love with a man who mistreats her.
Heizi Malus friend
Daxian Malus friend, a wiseacre and hooligan.
Toothbrush A salesman befriended by Heizi, Daxian and Malu.
Hong Hong A TV producer with a cynical realists take on love.
Lily A TV producer and friend of Hong Hong who falls in love with Heizi

PROLOGUE
On stage: A woman, Mingming, is blindfolded and tied to a chair. A young man, Malu, is sitting
beside her.
Malu: Dusk is the worst time for my vision. My eye wanders to the busy street. All I see are
pretty girls. The buildings and streets are shifting in and out of focus; its like being in a movie:
Youre standing on the corner of the stairs. Theres a strange, fragrant scent. Its a little warm. It
smells strange. Its only when it brushes against your body that you notice that youre crying.
Thats when it all started.
Ive got a friend, Toothbrush. He wants me to believe in myself only when Im in a rut, like when
Tulas pushing his way through the African savannah. But I know our situations are not the
same. Youre not the same. Youre unique, soft, clean like the sky. My Mingming, how can I ever
make you understand? Youre like a warm glove, an ice-cold beer, a shirt laundered in the sun,
a never-ending dream.
Youre sweet and distressed, with fresh hope daubed upon your lips. Your freshness and hope
make you unpredictable, like a wild beast; inescapable, like the suns rays; phony, like a
shameless starlet; ruthless, like the starving.
I want to give you a home, be the father to your child. I want to give you everything you want.
When you wake up I want to show you sunlight, want to caress your back, make you spread
your wings to heaven. Cant you feel how strong my desire rushes toward you, rises over the
top of your feet, submerges your legs and completely drowns you? I think of you. I open my
mouth wide, brazenly long for you; long for your hair, for your eyes; long for your chin, your
breasts, your splendid waist and stomach, the scent diffused through your pores. I long for the
way you wring your hands when youre sad. You have the face of an angel and the heart of a
bitch.
I love you. I truly love you from the bottom of my heart. I love you madly. I flatter you
shamelessly. I swear to you my eternal love. Whatever I can do Ill do it. How can I possibly
make you understand that I love you this much? Silently bear it and swallow my tears? Shout it

at the top of my lungs until Im hoarse and collapse from exhaustion? Curse myself bitterly
before the mirror? Rush into your office and knock you to the floor? Go to university, get a PhD
and become an author? Give myself up for lost and be pitied by others from now on? Check into
a mental hospital and love you until I actually have a breakdown? Get lovesick? Or should I set
myself on fire beneath your window? Mingming, tell me what I should do. Youre smart, clever,
quick-witted and silver-tongued, foolish beyond compare. My love, my Mingming . . .

Act I
The entirety of the back of the stage is filled by a base of an enormous clock that towers,
unseen, into the sky. A group of people is gathered in front of it.
The group sings with one voice.
This is an age of too many things
This is an age of too much emotion
This is an age of too much knowledge
This is an age of too much information
This is an age of intellect and reason
This is an age of sincerity and pragmatism
We have too many tasks to do
We have too many things to learn
We have too many voices to listen to
We have too many desires to fulfill
Love is a candle, giving you light,
Snuffed out with one gust of wind.
Love is a bird in flight, decorating the scene
Gone with a change in weather.
Love is a freshly blooming flower, thrilling with its scent,
Withered after May.
Love is a rainbow, a multitude of splendid colours,
A twinkling hoax, evaporated by the first rays of the sun.
Love is so wonderful, but delicate to the touch.
Love is so wonderful, but delicate to the touch.
Crowd: Before the arrival of the new century, we want to organise the wealth of the world.
Before the arrival of the new century, we want to sweep away all the useless junk.
Before the arrival of the new century, we want to overthrow all unrealistic thought.
Before the arrival of the new century, we want to discard all the weak things.
Master of Ceremonies: We will welcome the coming of the new century with a giant clock,
unequaled in size anywhere in the world. It will stand tall and firm, indestructible, an expression
of humanitys wisdom and strength. The atmosphere around the construction site is tense but
merry. Designers and labourers are working overtime; the citys residents have gathered around

the site for a long time, not daring to leave. Everyone is joyously inspired by our pioneering
work. Theyre excited beyond belief!
Resident A: One hundred kilograms, the second hand alone is one hundred kilograms. Time
has never felt so heavy.
Resident B: Thats the miracle of modern technology. Each gear has been supplied by the
National Space Administration and is entirely made from titanium to resist, warping by the great
changes time brings to the worldany warping would be dishonourable. It is a monument to our
people.
Resident C: Each curve is meticulously carved. Each target will go down in history.
Resident D: Hundreds of people were born in this century; the best poems of our most
outstanding poets to die this century will be engraved on the dial.
Resident E: A 67 year-old poet just killed himself so that his works would be chosen.
Resident F: This is our offering to the approaching new century, a giant clock unparalleled in
the world, designed entirely by us, built completely by us.
Resident G: On it we should write that this is the crystallisation of human wisdom.
Resident A: I suggest we write that it is the 9th Wonder of the World, a landing beacon for
extraterrestrials.
Resident B: Theyre issuing Big Clock lottery tickets. The prize money is already up to five
million Yuan, and its still going up! Whoever gets that money is going to be the lucky one of the
21st Century.
Resident C: I heard that the dial is gold-plated. Its like what todays people love to say: Time is
money.
Resident D: A neighbour of mine promised to give me fifty thousand Yuan if I secretly carve his
initials on the back of the big hand.
Resident E: You wouldnt dare! You guys would be destroying something that will be a cultural
relic in two hundred years!
Resident F: I want to secretly carve my name beside eight oclock, that way I can leave my
name to the ages.
Resident G: I want to carve my lovers name on its base, and beside it carve a heart to show
our enduring love.
The crowd looks in unison at the side of the big clock.
Crowd: Love is so wonderful, but delicate to the touch. Love is so wonderful, but delicate to the
touch.

Act II
Malus home. Daxian is playing with a deck of cards in his hands. Heizi and Malu are sitting
beside him.
Heizi: Is he coming or not?
Malu: How do I know?

Heizi: Call him! How can he let a woman come between friends!
Daxian: (Daxian takes a card with his hand.) Look here, look here. This side is red, this side
black, I blow on it, and red becomes black. Hey, look over here! (Daxian works his trick. Malu
and Heizi look on without interest.)
Daxian: Eh? How about it?
Heizi: What did Xiaoshi say exactly?
Daxian: He said hed be over in a bit.
Heizi: After this were not inviting him to play anymore.
Daxian: Fine. (He conjures another trick.) Watch this, watch this!
Heizi: (To Malu.)What does that new chick Ive seen you with do?
Daxian: Hey! Dreamer! You listening?
Heizi: I also want to become somebody with something to do! Im asking you Malu.
Malu: I think shes a secretary in an office.
Heizi: Did she tell you that?
(Malu shakes his head.)
Heizi: Then how do you know?
Malu: She smells like a photocopier.
Heizi: Youre kidding!
Malu: I can determine a persons status, profession, and what theyve just done, all from the
smells they give off. Dont believe me? Take a whiff of Daxian. Do you smell that hospital smell?
No matter how much lemon-scented washing powder or industrial-strength soap he uses, hell
never wash it off. The smell has already soaked into the crevices of his bones, seeping out
every minute of the day.
I can smell those office workers who carry the smell of photocopiers and air conditioners; those
small time businessmen whose bodies reek of smoke; even housewives just out of the kitchen,
dolled up in their latest mall purchases and sprayed with perfume still cant mask the smell of
oily smoke in their hair. And then there are the hookers. Each one carries the scent of a Johns
astringent sperm on her body. I can even tell from somebodys breath what they had for lunch:
Fish-flavoured pork, spicy tripe, mushrooms and vegetables . . .
Heizi: All that with your bulbous nose?
Daxian: The usefulness of the nose isnt determined by its appearance, but by its function.
Malu: Thats right! People have standards for testing eyes and ears, and if they fail them, they
think that theyre disabled, which influences their work, whether they go to university, even their
attitude about life. There are many colourful terms to describe disabilities of the eyes and ears:
blind, deaf, colour blind, but theres no such term for a disabled nose. A stuffed nose only
describes the symptom of a cold, which can be easily cured with some Sudafed. A competent,
outstanding nose has never received any attention.
Daxian: Its just like that rhino Malu looks after. His eyes are no good, but his nose is fantastic.
Heizi: Itll soon match a dogs nose.

Malu: Take yourself for example. (To Heizi) Your hair always carries smell X. You should wash
your hair after you fool around with someone.
Daxian: Really? Let me smell.
(Daxian turns to chase after Heizi. Theres a knock at the door.)
Heizi: Dont mess around! Open the door already. Xiaoshis here. Lets play poker!
A toothbrush salesman enters
Salesman: Hello Gentlemen. Im in advertising at the Huichen Company. Allow me to take a few
seconds of your precious time. On the eve of the 21st Century we are happy to invite you to
learn about our companys new high tech product: the Diamond Brand-Diamond PatternedDiamond Toothbrush, a revolution in health care. People dont know it, but every day after they
brush their teeth, bacteria quickly flourishes in their mouth creating tooth decay, causing
halitosis and tartar build up. What can you do about it? The only sure-fire cure is to use our
companys Diamond Brand-Diamond Patterned-Diamond Toothbrush every morning and every
night. Youll exterminate any chance of bacteria forming, freshen your breath, and never get
tooth decay. First thing in the morning, brush your teeth and leave the house with dignity. In the
evening, brush your teeth and kick start your sex drive. Since this is the first toothbrush
examined and verified by the Chinese Dental Association it can prevent cavities very effectively.
At the same time, it is the only toothbrush verified and recommended by the Chinese Committee
of Preventative Medicine. I dont want to mislead anyone here, my testimony is only to tell you
about a success thats worthy of true celebration. Where does this happiness come from? This
gentleman has asked a good question. The Huichen Company is running a present, offer and
give customer appreciation campaign to thank the good citizens of Beijing for buying our
Diamond Brand-Diamond Patterned-Diamond Toothbrush. So what does present, offer and
give mean? This gentleman has asked another good question. Present, offer and give, means
that we present, offer and give you two Diamond Toothbrushes for free. Come on gentlemen,
lets brush our lives clean and soar to another world!
Daxian: Got it. Give me two.
Daxian and Heizi take toothbrushes from the salesmans outstretched hand.
Daxian: OK. Get out.
Salesman: Its like this gentlemen. We present, offer and give you two toothbrushes, and you
buy one Diamond Brand Toothbrush, for a total of 16 yuan . . .
Heizi: Nope, we dont want the third. Two are enough.
Salesman: No, its not like that. You dont understand what I mean.
Daxian: You give, we want. What else is there to understand?
Heizi: Give me two more, he still doesnt have any. (He says motioning toward Malu sitting
motionless by the table.)
Salesman: Its not like that.
Daxian: Wait, wait, wait. I want to ask you something. You guys are running a present, offer
and give customer appreciation campaign, right?
Salesman: Right.

Daxian: Im a customer, right?

Salesman: Right.
Daxian: I want these two toothbrushes, OK?
Salesman: OK.
Daxian: So whats the problem? Get out of here. Weve got things to do.
Salesman: Its not like that, mister.
Daxian: How is it not like that?
(The salesman looks at the three guys.)
Salesman: Im not selling them. Give me back the toothbrushes.
(Daxian and Heizi grow impatient. Malu speaks.)
Malu: One toothbrush is 16 yuan?
(The salesman looks at Malu thinking he can speak sensibly to him.)
Salesman: (Toward Daxian and Heizi) Perhaps you two didnt get my meaning. (He rushes
over to Malus side) I am the advertising representative from Huichen Company. We are
currently conducting a customer appreciation campaign. We give you two free toothbrushes;
you buy one toothbrush, which makes three toothbrushes for a total of 16 yuan . . .
Malu: Wait a minute. Didnt you just say that one was 16 yuan?
Salesman: And we give you two for free.
Malu: We only want the free ones. We dont want the ones that cost money. Are you stupid, or
just retarded?
Salesman: Brother, I made a mistake. Look, its not easy for me to do business. If you really
want them, you give me 16 yuan and you take all three.
Malu: Hold on, hold on. I just want to ask, how much is one toothbrush?
Salesman: Sixteen.
Malu: And three?
Salesman: Sixteen.
Malu: Do you think Im an idiot? I only want one? Do you understand that or not? Can you count
or not? ONE. Not THREE. How much? Careful what you say. Im running out of patience.
Salesman: If you want one I can just give you one, OK?
Malu: Not OK. Why would you give me one for free? I dont even know who you are? Didnt you
insist on coming in here? Didnt you insist on selling toothbrushes? Ill buy one, but first I want to
know how much one is?
Salesman: We are conducting a customer appreciation
Malu: Dont start with that again! I just want to know how much one is!
(The salesman bursts out crying)
Salesman: Brother, Ive made a mistake. Ive got 80 year-old parents at home.
Malu: What are you crying about! It was you who wanted to come in here and sell toothbrushes.
I just want to know how much one is.
Daxian: Forget about it.
Malu: No. Wasnt it you, who just today clearly said, Dont think just do?

Salesman: I made a mistake.

Malu: What mistake? What mistake did you make?
Salesman: Ill give you all the toothbrushes. Just let me go.
Malu: You want to go. Its not that easy!
Salesman: I made a mistake. Ill never come again.
Malu: Where did you make a mistake? You didnt make a mistake! I just want to know how
much for one toothbrush! One toothbrush!
Daxian and Heizi pretend to restrain to enervated Malu. The salesmans face is drawn. He goes
in front of the table and fishes out toothbrushes from his bag.
Daxian: Malu, forget about it!
Malu: No!
Daxian: Toothbrush! (calls toward the salesman) Im talking to you. Sit down!
Daxian pushes Malu into a chair. The salesman sits down obediently.
Daxian: Heizi, deal the cards.
The four people sit in a circle. Heizi deals the cards.
Heizi: Take your cards, Toothbrush. (From now on they call the salesman Toothbrush)
Toothbrush: Brother, please!
Daxian: Taaaaake them!
Toothbrush: Ah . . . what are we playing?
Heizi: Pinochle.
Toothbrush: How much are we playing for?
Heizi: How much have you got?
Toothbrush: I dont have any money, only toothbrushes.
Daxian: Fine, well use toothbrushes. Take the cards!
Toothbrush gradually regains his composure.

Act III
The rhinoceros enclosure.
Malu: A ton and a half of hay. Food intake has dropped a little. Defecated five times. Colour:
Blackish yellow, normal. Trotted around outside for four hours. Tula, are you unhappy? Youre
like a poet, always unhappy. What have you got to worry about? Youre a black rhino. Youre not
even on the endangered list. I really dont know whats going on in that big brain of yours. You
dont get along with the white rhino, and you dont have a good relationship with the hippo.
There are no oxpeckers to help you to eat the ticks. Dont I give you a shower every day? You
probably dont even know about oxpeckers do you? You were too young when they took you
from the wild. Youve forgotten how terrifying the savannah can be. If I tell you about it, would it
make you happy? The new rhino enclosure is almost finished. The zoo has set aside some
money. Theyre preparing to buy another rhino! Maybe it will be a pretty one, a sexy African
female rhino! She wont be like that white rhino Tana. It will be a real black rhino!

May 16, 1999: Tula. Two tons of hay, one kilo of apples. Exercised outdoors, came back at
seven oclock and went to bed.
May 17: Eight a.m. Went to work, wore a light purple skirt and jacket. Six p.m. Came home,
looked very happy, bought a lot of food. Seven p.m. A man came to visit (he has the key), and
stayed the whole night.
May 18: An early morning argument; the man left; M followed him downstairs, cried again, the
third time that week
May 19: Two tons of hay. Cleaned the animals tongue. Tula has a bit of diarrhea. The white
rhino, Nicholas is in heat again. The female, Tana, isnt the least bit excited.

Act IV
Night. Malu and Mingming are on the roof of their building
Mingming: Im talking about LOVE! Where does that feeling come from? From the heart, the
liver, the veins? Where does it emanate from, internally? Maybe on the day you felt it the moon
was closer to the earth; the sun shone directly on the Tropic of Cancer; monsoon winds blew
over your skin, lubricating it with damp sea air; a low pressure area forming in Mongolia made
your heart beat faster. Or maybe it was only your own hearts desire, your time of the month that
brought on the disturbance; the newly changed light bulb in his apartment; the fresh smell of an
orange he just ate that lingered on his fingers; the prickly feel of his stubble brushing up against
your face. These kinds of things numb your nerves making you limp. Thats love . . .
Malu: Some rhinos live on the wild and vast savannah, some like to rest in dense forests. They
also eat different kinds of food. Some like to eat grass, others like to eat leaves, some eat both
grass and leaves. The name rhinoceros comes from Greek; its a tropical animal. There are five
kinds of rhinos in the world: the black rhino, the white rhino, the Sumatran rhino, as well as the
Indian and the Javan rhino, both of which are basically on the verge of extinction. Tula comes
from the African savannah.
Mingming: Whos Tula?
Malu: An African black rhino.
Mingming: Youre raising it?
Malu: Ya. A rhinos eyesight is very bad. They cant see somebody standing this far away from
them clearly. (Holds his hand in front of his face at an arms length)
Mingming: Are you from the zoo?
Malu: Do you want to go see Tula?
Mingming: Go to the zoo? I havent been in such a long time! Its quite strange. Ive seen a
rhino, but Ive never met someone who raises them! They say that people who are patient with
animals will definitely be patient with women. But why dont you go do a normal job like drive a
taxi, or be a repairman or something? Of course not everyone can be an artist like Chen Fei, but
raising a rhino is rather strange.
Malu: Ive got a career, one approved by the Ministry of Parks and Recreation.

Mingming: What I mean is that youll have a hard time changing jobs. If you dont like that zoo,
or dont like that particular rhino, then what? In todays society people say that if you dont know
English, computers or how to drive a car, its the same as if you dont know anything at all.
Malu: Can you do those things?
Mingming: I know computers. I can type 110 words in one minute, the fastest in my company. I
use English daily without any problems. And, I can also drive a car.
Malu: Can that guy do those things?
Mingming: Who? You mean Chen Fei? Hes an artist. He guides peoples thoughts, so of
course he should be treated differently. Its a pity you cant do those things. Since you cant,
youre finished!
(She unwraps a stick of chewing gum and pops it in her mouth.)
Malu: When I graduated from middle school I took a test to become an airline pilot. I couldve
worn a leather jacket, goggles and been on the cover of the newspaper. I was qualified in all
categories except eyesight. I should be a pilot, a rhino should be an eagle. We shouldnt depend
on our sense of smell to live, but most animals do, like zebras and elephants that live on Africas
savannah. Humans cant smell more than one hundred different scents, but we can smell if
theres something good to eat nearby. (He pauses) Its lemon.
Mingming: (She chews her gum) What?
Malu: Lemon?
Mingming: Ya. Its lemon-flavoured. Do you want some?
Malu shakes his head.
Malu: When I first started at the zoo, they said theyd never seen a zookeeper who wore
glasses. After that I never wore them again. A rhino is really big. Even if you dont wear glasses
you can still see it.
Mingming: Yesterday I was speaking with Chen Fei. I told him, They all said that I was too nice
to you, that we dont fit together. Can you guess what he said? Youll never think of it. He said,
Thats good. I just dont fit. If I fit together with you it would appear that youre also not so
good. Have you ever met such a person before? He said that Im a schemer, being good to him
in order to take possession of him. He said that I was a conspirator, the embodiment of the
power of the system, and, that our relationship was like the weak struggling against the attempts
of the strong to moralize them.
Malu: The majority of a wild rabbits time is spent chasing female rabbits as best they can, but a
jackal only falls in love once. Jackals stay together with their mate for life, each guarding and
looking after the other.
Mingming: Whats the point?
Malu: Thats what I heard in zoology class.
Mingming: But Ive heard people say that jackals eat dead people. (She blows a bubble and
bites it)

Malu: Thats just peoples bias. Jackals . . . (He turns his head to see that Mingming has
already left. Malu picks up Mingmings gum from the ground and pops it into his mouth and
chews.)
Malu: Street flavoured Mingming.
(Malu sings)
Malu:
I lie quietly on the bed
My days are hung up in the dresser
I lie quietly on the bed
My nights are left on the wall
I lie quietly on the bed
My childhood hides beneath it
I lie quietly on the bed
Your warmth lingers on the seat
The cup holds water, holds longing
The curtains roll up the wind, roll up aspiration
Every step tramples my heart
Transforms me into a leaf suspended in the wind
Trembling in the air, shivering with cold.
I want to use all my patience and enthusiasm
I want to use all the light of an entire lifetime
Thinking of you, waiting for you, my love.

Act V
Love Training Center
Love Trainer: Yesterday we spoke about how to tell the difference between the person you love
and a beautiful woman you see in the crowd. Today our curriculum involves training on how to
express yourself; the pouring out of ones heart, which is very important in love. A persons
ability to express himself has become todays most important basic life skill. If you
absolutely love someone but can only express that you likethem, its the same thing as
only liking someone but expressing that you absolutely love them. All of our well-known writers
and musicians have beautiful voices and sincere feelings, and are masters of expression. I have
already made a list of classic books and songs in order to help everybody. Remember, there are
three secrets to success when pouring out your heart. First, you must choose the one right
mood in which to do it. If you can shift back and forth between several moods to achieve the
consent of your affection, then youll be playing at an advanced level. Second, the pouring out of
your heart must be authentic; this will greatly affect the emotional reaction of the person you are
pouring your heart out to. Thirdly, you must choose the right setting. The wrong setting can
cause the best pouring out of your heart to change into an act of idiocy.(Puts on music) Mozarts

music is very good for pouring out ones heart; it can be a good stimulant. Now, which student is
willing to give it a try?
Student A: I lost my love, lost it on the side of a busy street, lost it in the years of an hour glass,
on the endless shelves of the supermarket, in the comings and goings of taxis, in the middle of
looking for success, in the comings and goings of different mens faces. I already lost my love . .
....
Student B: Time for a nunnery!
Student C: I dont know why I cant just open my mouth. I cant explain myself clearly because I
use evasive words. Youve also never asked me. Your calmness makes me feel like I have no
self-esteem. The only excuse I have is that I am too young.
Student D: Since we gained consciousness, we knew that at some point in our lives wed all
face the possibility of feeling the pain of losing a loved one, whether because of death or the
end of a relationship. What interests me is how people will use any kind of measure to resist this
kind of loss . . . . . Does this make it worth living? What kind of answer can make us temporarily
forget that this world is just bullshit?
Student E: I might not be as good to you as others are, but I can be good to you for longer than
the others can.
Malu: I dont have any parents, any friends, any family, any career; nobody needs me. My life is
zero, an empty space. You may spend all your money to buy lots of women to sleep with and
have many one-night stands, but in the end youre still alone; nobody will hug you close; your
body has no connection to other people. I thought I wanted to age this way one year after the
next . . . until one day I saw you. I thought you and I were equally lonely. I suddenly thought I
found a purpose I could make you happy. Shes really someone that will make you do
anything for her . . . . . .

Act VI
Mingmings House
Mingming is crying. She does not stop to wipe the tears or snot from her face. Malu sits silently
beside her. Mingming pays no attention to him, shes immersed in her tears.
Mingming: How long do I still have to obey him? I really dont know what I wouldnt do for him!
Hes hateful! It would be best if I didnt love him! In my eyes theres love, but on my forehead I
wear the mark of a slave. Wherever he goes Ive got to follow! Can you imagine this? So long as
Im with him Im satisfied. Its crazy! How can I no longer love him? Hmm? (Malu wants to open
his mouth, but Mingming pays no attention to him) I cant bear to go on like this! But if I didnt
love him, what meaning would life have? In all my life Ive never seen such a man. How many
resolutions have I made to leave him? But as soon as I see him, I lose my resolve. Im done
for
(Mingming cries. Malu doesnt know whether to stay or leave. He stands up. Mingming wipes
her tears. She looks at him.)

Mingming: What did you come here for?

Malu: Are you feeling better?
Mingming: Whats wrong with me? Did you also come to give me flowers? Perfume?
Chocolate? You havent got anything so why did you come?
Malu: . . . Im leaving
Mingming: Whats the matter? Cant your self-esteem take it? You want to go, but you dont
want to. You hesitate, which means you still havent understood our situation clearly. (Malu turns
around to leave.)
Mingming: Ha! You give up so easily!
Malu: If this is what makes you happy, then I dont have a problem with it.
Mingming: What can I possibly have to make me happy; misfortune certainly doesnt make
others happy. Sorry, Im becoming more and more venal: my temper is growing worse and
worse. Dont be mad with me.
Malu: Im not angry. I just want to make you happy!
Mingming: Happy? Maybe I can be happy tomorrow. Maybe the sun wont rise tomorrow. Will I
be happy? Maybe the earth will stop turning. Will I be happy? Maybe not.
Malu: Dont torment yourself!
Mingming: Im not. (She cries) The only thing is: I cant live without him! Everyday I implore him
not to leave me. He does love me. Im like a sorceress. I even secretly cut a lock of his hair and
burned it, along with his picture, burned it to ash and drank it down. I dont know if it had any
affect. What good points does he have? I want to know.
Malu: Leave him.
Mingming: Impossible!
Malu: Try again.
Mingming: Its impossible!
Malu: Dont go back to him.
Mingming: I wont succeed.
Malu: If you go back to him again it can only mean that you love to torture yourself!
Mingming: Dont make me scream.
Malu: Listen to me. Dont go back to him again! Its not good for you.
Mingming: Im not . . . Im not listening to you. I have to go back to him. So long as he can
continue to let me love him, so long as he does not leave me, so long as I can continue to
endure whatever he does to make me suffer, thats how Ill suffer. He may deceive me, may
disparage me, may insult me, may leave me hanging in mid-air, may even make me his slave,
so long as he has the capability to let me love him. Why are you looking at me? Has your love
grown weak in front of me? Does it mean nothing? Has it vanished into thin air? Have you
thought about what love is? Did you think it was all romantic dinners and flowers? Coward. Go
find another woman, but dont mention love. Shhh.

Act VII

Toothbrush: Pay me! I bought each of you a one hundred Yuan Big Clock lottery ticket. I dont
want the full prize money if anyone wins. I only want half.
Heizi: Giving you one percent would depend on my having a conscience. You can count on me
not to cough it up.
Toothbrush: One percent of five million is only fifty thousand!
Daxian: You ran an errand and you think that each of your two dogs legs is worth 25 grand?
Toothbrush: Malu, pay me!
Malu: I didnt tell you to buy me one.
Toothbrush: Collective action!
Malu: I dont want one. It violates my principles.
Toothbrush: You still have principles?
Malu: Of course I do. Not everyone is like you, just doing whatever feels right.
Toothbrush: But that is my principle.
Malu: In any case, I dont want one. Im not fated to have good fortune. I also dont want to put
any money into that lucky bastards pocket.
Toothbrush: How do you know that youre not that lucky bastard?
Malu: Me? Me? Me, a guy who looks like this? Take a look at yourselves in the mirror. Do you
see your nose and those eyes? Do you look like a winner?
Heizi: Thats right! What Malu said makes sense. Give me my money back!
Toothbrush: No way!
Daxian: You might not be lucky, but does that mean that the three of us arent lucky either? We
already agreed, regardless of who wins, he has to give some to everybody. Understand? Malu,
pay up! (Malu grudgingly gives Toothbrush 100 Yuan)
Daxian: Take your lottery ticket! Is that the same chewing gum that she was chewing in her
mouth all those weeks ago? Why havent I seen you chew a new piece? Whats made you so
pathetic? If we win that money then everybody can do what they want to do! Tell me, what
would you do?
Heizi: Eat.
Daxian: Anything else?
Heizi: Rest, then eat again.
Toothbrush: Id tell Xiao Ping to pack her bags and Id find another girl!
Daxian: After you win, the girls will stare at you like flies do rotten meat.
Malu: (Looks at the lottery ticket in his hand) Id buy an African female rhinoceros for Tula, then
Id leave this place.
Daxian: Leave? Where would you go?
Malu: I dont know.
Daxian: I dont think youve got anywhere to go to.
Heizi: Is Xiao Ping pregnant?
Toothbrush: Nonsense.
Heizi: I saw her throwing up in the restaurant that time.

Toothbrush: That because you sat down in front of her right after shed finished eating
looking at you also makes me want to vomit.
Heizi: I do what?
Toothbrush: Its not possible that shes pregnant. In these twenty-odd years Ive never been
able to finish inside.
Malu: Why not?
Toothbrush: It started with a fear of knocking her up. After that I just became used to it. Now, I
cant change even if I try. I always hurriedly suppress it on the inside, but on the outside I always
appear happy.
Daxian: With that kind of attitude, sooner or later, humanity will come to an end. Do you think
God designs that kind of exercise for your pleasure? The pleasures are meant to encourage you
to continue your line of descendants; the more pleasure, the greater the number of ones
descendants. Nowadays, all anyone wants to do is seek pleasure; they dont want to take any
responsibilities.
Heizi: Malu, did you have a look at that book 100 Courtship Skills A Love Training Manual?
Toothbrush: Give me a look. Request a song for her on the radio. Send her flowers on
Valentines Day, her birthday, or on any ordinary day. Its too cliche! Malu, what are you doing
looking at this stuff for? If you wanted to know how to woo a girl so badly why didnt you come to
me?
Daxian: Let me see. Whats the meaning of this part you ticked?
Malu: Give it to me.
Daxian: Youve already ticked some items, Write her some love poems or copy a love poem to
give her. You cant be serious about following these, can you?
Heizi: For sure youve already written her a poem!
Toothbrush: Youve definitely written one for her!
Daxian: It definitely went like this . . . . . .
The group of them:
I am a strong black rhino,
My skin is an inch thick,
My favourite place is the bog,
My toy is a foot long.
I am a sexy rhino,
My horn is used as an aphrodisiac,
My large breasts are known far and wide,
Our love is like the story of Zeus and Leda,
Ive prepared fresh mud for you,
Fresh flowers to sleep with.
Heizi: All that for a woman that smells like a photocopier.
Malu: You pretty female beast, you really like it dont you? You want to shout, to shake heaven
and earth dont you? Shout! Make an effort to shout! Youre a tramp. Although youve got clean

hay to lie in, you only want your stinking bog, dont you? Well if you like filthy mud then Ill give
you filthy mud! If you like being despicable, we can be despicable together. Open your mouth!

Act VIII
The rhinoceros enclosure
Malu: Tula, Ive got some bad news for you. The management didnt buy a female black rhinos.
They want to buy a male white rhino so that they can have more white rhinos in the future.
Maybe they thought youre already too old, that you couldnt possibly help add a little black rhino
to the zoo. I feel sorry for you. You havent even had a chance to partake in the mating ritual.
Only male rhinos that have gone through this ritual can be real rhinos. Only then can you have a
woman who loves you. But youll never have such a chance.

Act IX
Malu provokes Chen Fei. A group of Chen Feis friends grab Malu and dump him in the mud.
Malu slowly sinks into the mud.

Act X
Mingming: Whats with you?
Malu: I looked for him.
Mingming: Who?
Malu: That person you like.
Mingming: What did you do?
Malu: I told him to treat you well, or leave you.
Mingming: What did he say?
Malu: I wanted him to know how to treat you well.
Mingming: Ill tell you how hell treat me. He will treat me even worse. Moreover, now he wont
leave me just to show us that hes someone who will never change.
Malu: Im going to look for him again.
Mingming: Do you dare? Do you want to get beaten up again?
Malu: They will get bored of beating someone up every day. Therell come a moment when hes
alone; thats when Ill get him.
Mingming: Fine. Go. But dont show yourself to me again. (Malu stands by the door) Fine. Sit
down. Wipe your face. Youre bleeding. (She helps Malu straighten his hair)
Malu: All white things become as black as ink and feel inferior next to you. All ignorant birds and
beasts are in extreme despair since they cant speak your name . . . . . .
Mingming: Whats that?
Malu: A poem

Mingming: A poem? Which poem?

Malu: One I wrote for you.
Mingming: You write poems? (Smiles)
Malu: Maybe its only good enough to carve into a rhinos hide, but I wrote it.
Mingming: Very lovely. Is there more?
Malu: All white things become as black as ink and feel inferior next to you. All ignorant birds and
beasts are in extreme despair since they cant speak your name . . . . . I havent finished writing
it yet.

Act XI
Malus House
Mingming: Get up! Get up lazybones. I have something good to eat!
Malu: Whats going on Mingming? Cake?
Mingming: For you.
Malu: Cake at midnight? Why?
Mingming: No reason. Do you want some?
Malu: If you want me to eat it Ill eat it.
Mingming: Thats a good boy. Is it good? I ordered it when I got off work. Its got fresh cream
and fruit.
Malu: (nods) Whose birthday is it? Isnt yours in October?
Mingming: Its yours!
Malu: I was born in the winter.
Mingming: (Gently) What a fool. You even forget your own birthday.
Malu: Fine. Whatever day you say my birthday is on, thats when it is.
Mingming: Mmm, Ive also got this!
Malu: What?
Mingming: A gift!
Malu: For me?
Mingming: Mmm. Open it.
(Malu opens the wrapping paper and removes a wallet)
Mingming: (Coyly) Do you like it?
Malu: I like it.
Mingming: Really?
Malu: Really.
Mingming: Then why dont you give me a kiss?
(Malu doesnt believe her. He looks at Mingming. She approaches him.)
Mingming: I ran to every store. I wanted to give you something you could use every day,
something that youd look at frequently, something that each time you looked at, each time you
pulled out, would make you think of me.

Malu: Mingming.
Mingming: I waited for you for a long time. I started looking for you from the window at dusk.
The sound of each footstep danced upon my nerves, turning me into a leaf in the wind,
trembling in the air, shivering with cold. I thought youd come and eat dinner with me, or that
youd come after dinner; and even if you didnt come after dinner, you would come after going
out to drink with your friends at the pub, shooting the bull, flirting with some girl . . . I waited,
waited and waited, I knew that youd come for sure
Malu: I know Im having a dream, but it doesnt matter if its real or not, or if I wake up from the
dream; so long as youre here, I dont care.
Mingming: Promise me that you wont leave me, and that you wont let me leave you.
Malu: I wont leave you, and I wont let you leave me.
Mingming: Nobody believes in promises anymore. A promise, giving flowers, taking someone
out for dinner, theres no difference; its just a way to express ones feelings.
Malu: Im different from them. Ill show you how Im different from them. Just wait and see.
Mingming: (sings)
Smile at me, like were meeting for the first time,
Speak to me, even if your vows change tomorrow,
Enjoy me, on this life we have no hold
Miss me, in that year you began to feel old.
Mingming and Malu make love
Mingming with Malu:
All light rays surge toward me,
I breathe up all the oxygen,
All objects have lost their weight,
Ive already walked to the end of each road.
At this time a person cannot speak,
The best thing to do is be silent
At this time a person cannot speak,
The best thing to do is sigh
At this time a person cannot speak,
The best thing to do is cry
At this time a person cannot speak,
The best thing to do is fly
All scenery becomes indistinct,
All arms turn into wings,
All memories are replaced,
Ive already walked to the end of each road.
My shadow runs, Im unable to move,
Youre smiling at me from the end of all roads.

My shadow runs, Im unable to move,

Youre smiling at me from the end of all roads . . . . . .

Act XII
Daxian is telling a story to Heizi and Toothbrush.
Daxian: There was this young man who was plagued by terrible nightmares that left him in
extreme physical pain.
Heizi: When? When did this happen?
Toothbrush: Who cares! All stories start like this.
Daxian: He feared sleep; feared that in his dreams a large demon would capture him. He
sought all kinds of medical advice. He ran into a prophet and told him about his pain. The
prophet told him that the dream is another reality, and that if he shouts, Im having a dream! at
the most critical moment, the nightmare will end. The young man returned home, making a point
to remember the prophets advice. The curtain of night slowly descended and the young man
fell asleep. Suddenly, in his dream the demon charged him with a broadsword. The young man
was terrified and tried to hide when suddenly he remembered the prophets words. And, just as
he was about to be captured by the demon and run through with the sword, he shouted, I am
having a dream! And he awoke. Surprisingly, lying next to him was the demons sword. Better
yet, it was completely inlaid with jewels. From that point on the young man began to like having
his nightmares. He would grab treasures from the dream and then recite the incantation to
awaken. He sold the treasures and life gradually became good for him. One day he dreamed
that the demon came looking for him. The demon asked the young man not to take anymore
things from the dream since hed taken almost all the treasures from the dream palace. The big
demon guaranteed him that if he complied with the request, hed let him enjoy fond dreams. The
young man agreed, and from that night onward he had a wonderful dream each night. They
were so wonderful that he became unwilling to wake up, until the only thing he wanted to do
each day was sleep and have beautiful dreams. One day, in the dream garden, he saw an
outstandingly beautiful woman, and couldnt help falling in love with her. He remembered the
incantation, took a hold of the woman and shouted, Im having a dream! He waited to wake up.
The woman sat at his side looking at him adoringly. From that day on the young man never
dreamed again. He didnt have nightmares and he didnt have wonderful dreams. The dream
kingdom had expelled him.

Act XIII
Malu: Everything is finished. All the pain ended in that flash. A woman can make you think that
the entire world has filled up with sunlight. You can run, you can jump, you can even finish
inside her an uncountable amount of times! I was even allowed to fly!
Mingming: What are you doing here making such a racket this early?

Malu: Mingming, were you awakened by the noise? Get up you lazybones. Ill buy you
breakfast.
Mingming: Youre truly nuts! (Mingming turns round to leave. Malu sweeps her off her feet and
spins around with her in his arms.)
Malu: Hey sleepy head, you little koala, you little fox. You still want to sleep, still want to
sleep
Mingming: What are you doing? Let go of me!
(Malu isnt listening. Mingming struggles with all her might. She raises her hand and suddenly
slaps Malu. Malu lets go of Mingming in surprise.)
Mingming: Are you crazy?
Malu: Whats the matter? Why arent you happy?
Mingming: Dont bother me. I want to sleep.
Malu: (Stopping Mingming) Mingming, what happened?
Mingming: Youre still asking? From now on please restrain yourself, otherwise you will
embarrass us all.
Malu: What did you say?
Mingming: What else do you want me to say? We are neighbours. You usually look after me. I
am very grateful. But thats all. Dont do anything to embarrass us again.
Malu: Mingming . . . . . .
Mingming: I dont know good from bad. Nobody cares about my good intentions. Talking about
this so early is too ridiculous! I want to sleep.
Malu: Werent you the one with me last night? Yesterday, didnt you play the temptress? How is
it possible that this pair of eyes, this forehead, these two happy lips, that spoke so many sweet
words and honeyed phrases next to my ear, that have been kissed by me so many times . . .
Mingming: What nonsense are you talking about? Dont drag me down into your dirty dreams!
Malu: Am I having a dream? Impossible. The warmth of you body still lingers between my
fingers. Your fragrance still envelopes me..
Mingming: Ive got nothing I can possibly say. (She wants to leave)
Malu: Wont you admit it? You want to let me believe that all this never happened, that all that
happened was only a dream? !
Mingming: What do you want to make me believe? Do you want me to share this crazy fantasy
with you?
Malu: Crazy fantasy? Whats this? (lifts the cake with wedges missing) What is this? !
Mingming: Was it your birthday?
Malu: Do you want to drive me crazy? ! You want to see me drop off the deep end? Fine.
Wheres the wallet? The wallet? Where did the wallet go?
(Mingming wants to leave. Malu holds her).
Mingming: Let go of me. What do you want to do? !
Malu: What do I want to do? I told you that Im not the same as the others. I always keep my
word. I will never leave you. I also wont let you leave me!

Mingming: Help!
(Daxian, Toothbrush and Heizi rush onto the stage and pull Mingming away from Malu.)
Daxian: Malu! Whats with you? Calm yourself!
(Malu lets out a cry as hes dragged away by the group.)

Act XIV
Malu sits without making a sound, extremely puzzled and in despair.
Daxian: Are you nuts? Even if you wanted to rape her you have to wait until night to do it. What
a shame. The fact that the police hasnt caught you yet means youre lucky.
Toothbrush: Leave him alone. Hes in heat. Hes the same as Tula on the African savannah. He
had no idea what he was doing.
Heizi: All for a woman who smells like a photocopier.
Daxian: The root of all these problems stems from valuing one woman above another one. In
this information age with so many possible choices, the word commitment can basically be
thought of as a kind of mental disease. Forget her.
(The three exit.)
Malu: Forget her? Forget her and I wont have to suffer anymore. Forget her and I wont feel
any more pain. Forget her. Forget her. Forget the things you dont have. Forget the things that
others have. Forget the things youve lost and the things youll never have. Forget hate. Forget
humiliation. Forget love Forget it all like the rhinoceros forgets the savannah; like the waterfowl
forgets the lake; like a person in hell forgets heaven; like an amputee forgets that he once ran
like mad; like the fallen leaf forgets the wind; like Tula forgets female rhinos. Forgetting is the
only thing regular people can do. But Ive made up my mind. Ill never forget her.

Act XV
Mingming: His eyes have the expression of a doe; his tenderness is that of some tame animal.
From his eyes I can see that this tenderness goes against his will. It appears that hes realized
this himself and is ashamed, so he displays roughness, like a little beast snarling at the sky,
putting on a defiant air.
Malu starts to sing. Glass Woman
Malu:
You never knew that,
You are my longed for cloudless day,
My sudden rainstorm.
You never knew that,
You are my long endured hunger,
The air upon which I depend.
You never knew, my darling,

Maybe you will never know

You are different, unique, soft, clean like the sky.
You are my warm glove, my ice-cold beer.
You carry the fragrance of a shirt laundered in the sun, a never-ending dream.
You are chaste, naive, like glass,
Nothing can dirty you,
Nothing can change you.
My love, my love, my love,
Maybe you will never know . . . .
Mingming: How should I say it? I love you extremely. Extremely. Love. These words, once
said, are so empty, they are unconvincing. Today, when I got up I thought desperately of how to
find something that would prove that I love you, something that nobody would question. But
theres nothing, nothing . . . I thought about that evening on the roof. You were sleeping like a
child, breathing very lightly, very peacefully. I was admiring you, shamelessly looking at you, and
drew near to you. I greedily drew each of your breaths into my lungs. That was summer. Outside
it was very peaceful, like we were the only two people in the world. I grew euphoric from your
breaths. In my heart I thought that we were one. A person can live on carbon dioxide as long as
there is love.

Act XVI
(Malus house, night)
Malu: One sheep, two sheep, three sheep, four sheep . . . . . . Im always waiting, always trying
to fall asleep, just like that young man with the nightmare. How do we know that our daily life
isnt being dreamt from another bed in another world? If you could only stand before me once
more; if I could only hold you in my arms once more, I would rather sleep forever than be
awake. Sleep . . . . . . Seven sheep, eight sheep, nine sheep . . . . . .
(Mingming appears in front of Malus bed.)
Malu: Youve come. This really must be a dream. Fine with me.
(Malu suddenly grabs hold of Mingming and shouts)
Malu: I am having a dream! I am having a dream!
Mingming: What are you doing?
Malu: Youre here? Dont leave me, never leave me! Never!

Act XVII
Daxian: Nothing but a tall tale, just like Casanova. Is Malu the only one in the world with urges?
So what, the rest of us just have to satisfy ourselves?
Heizi: Every evening he goes to attend a computer class.
Toothbrush: And English classes.

Heizi: On Sundays he goes to driving school.

Toothbrush: Everyday he carries his briefcase to work.
Heizi: He wrote a proposal to the zoo director for a computer to help him monitor the rhinos.
Daxian: With an appended version in English.
Toothbrush: He probably wears a suit when he gives the rhino a bath!
Daxian: He also composes poems.
Heizi: He also plays the piano.
Toothbrush: Chews gum.
Daxian: Sings serenades.
Heizi: Always changes his socks.
Toothbrush: Takes a daily bath.
The Crowd: Its completely insane!
Toothbrush: We must help him or hes done for.
Heizi: Ive encouraged him to relax, but he said hes never lived like this before. He told me to
take it easy. He said that eventually I would also meet a woman whose beauty would kill me.
That worried me, because Im afraid that no one will ever want to kill me for as long as I live.
Daxian: This is our good fortune. Dont be influenced by Malus misleading comments. Love is
like a comedy, sports, pop music theyre all pretty much the same: to make people happy and
relaxed.
(Hong Hong and Lily enter.)
Hong Hong and Lily: Hi. Were Hong Hong and Lily.
Daxian: Who are you?
Hong Hong: What would a love story have to say if it were all happy and relaxing from the
beginning to the end? What would be interesting about a soap opera then? And then, what
would we have to do each evening?
Lily: In brief: You love him, he doesnt love you. He loves you, you dont love him. Two people
who fall in love are doomed to separate.
Daxian: Do you two work for a television station?
Hong Hong and Lily: Were Hong Hong and Lily.
Toothbrush: Its what Ive been looking for.
Daxian: What?
Toothbrush: Something to treat Malus sickness with.
Heizi: Theyre too much! Hes not that sick.
Toothbrush: Pick one that suits Malu.
Heizi: Another one?
Toothbrush: It depends on which one Malu prefers. (Claps) Attention. Pay attention. Would the
two candidates please prepare themselves, the performance is about to start. The plot of the
soap opera is this: One character is called Malu. Hes a young man who has fallen in love with
his beautiful neighbour, a young secretary.
Hong Hong: Name?

Toothbrush: Malu.
Lily: We mean the secretarys name.
Toothbrush: Who cares what shes called?
Heizi: Mingming, her name is Mingming.
Toothbrush: (Shoots Heizi a look) Malu has fallen in love with Mingming, but Mingming doesnt
love him.
Hong Hong: She loves another person, but that person does not love her.
Heizi: How did you know?
Lily: All soap operas are like that.
Toothbrush: Malu is in a lot of pain. It nearly drives him crazy. The question in front of us is how
should Malus character plot develop?
(Hong Hong and Lily simultaneously buzz in to answer.)
Hong Hong: He meets a good girl who always cares for him . . . . . .
Lily: . . . . . . Helps him. Warm up his frozen heart again. . . . . . .
Hong Hong: Its a rainy day. The girl goes to deliver Malu some food. She slips and falls on the
road, injuring her leg . . . . . .
Lily: Its a snowy day. Malu is knocked down by a truck as he rushes into the street to save a
young child
Hong Hong: The girl drags herself on her injured leg to Malu. Malu is moved by the girl covered
in mud. He grasps her hand . . . . . . .
Lily: Malu remains unconscious in the hospital. He mutters Mingmings name. We wait for him
to open his eyes. He slowly raises his eyelids and finds another girl beside him
Hong Hong: This is where another emotional plot twist begins. At this moment theres an
unexpected event. . . . . . .
Lily: The girl has been watching over him for three days without resting her eyes. Malus heart is
filled by another kind of love, but there are many setbacks before their love is fulfilled . . . . . .
Daxian: Youre both masters.
Heizi: Could we hear one first, then the other?
Toothbrush: What are we judging on? Theyre equally matched.
Daxian: The decision is really tough.
Heizi: I thought that the story where Malu rescues the child and is knocked down by the truck
wasnt described well.
Lily: What do you mean it wasnt described well? Close-up of a honking truck. Cut to the panicstricken face of a child. Cut to Malu pushing the child out of the frame followed by a sharp
braking sound. Cut to a close-up of the truck driver and pan down to Malu lying in the street.
Daxian: The only thing we dont know is if Malu is willing to get hit by a truck.
Toothbrush: I also think that the girl with the injured leg doesnt really need to fall down and
hurt herself. She can just spread some Mercurochrome on her leg to make it look bloody. What
do you think?
Heizi: You know, that Hong Hong, she suits Malu. Lily suits me.

Toothbrush: Good. Now the judges hand out the marks: Number one receives 99.75 points.
Number two receives zero. Number one wins.
(Lily cries and runs off stage.)
Heizi: Lily!
Hong Hong: The young man runs off stage with Lily, grabs her hand and says, Dont cry. I
know youre the best. Lily suddenly falls into the young mans arms.
Heizi: Really? !
(Hong Hong nods. Heizi pursues Lily off stage.)
Hong Hong: The young man strokes Lilys hair and says gently, Dont cry, silly child . . .
Toothbrush: Stop already.
(Hong Hong pays no attention to him, and continues)
Hong Hong: Let me handle all the problems in the future, so long as were together . . .
Daxian: Cut! Roll credits and sponsors. Thats a wrap.
(Hong Hong stops, moves off from the square.)
Toothbrush: No way. I dont believe Malus life can be more exciting than a soap opera.

Act XVIII
Malu: I said that if I cant force myself to be calm, to temper my worship of you, then I couldnt
see you again. Now I can do it. Before, I didnt think that a persons desires could change the
colour of the sky, the shape of an object or, cause a dream to be tangible. But now I know its
because my desires werent strong enough. Mingming, please never be mad with me again,
maybe Im just a natural born lunatic.
Mingming: Is it raining outside?
Malu: Doesnt look like it yet.
Mingming: Still not?
Malu: But everyone on the street is carrying umbrellas.
Mingming: They never look at the sky. They just listen for the chance of rain on the news. How
stuffy its become. The thunders been rolling for so long and still no rain! This kind of weather
always gives me cravings; I can never settle down. Life always returns to the way it was. Each
day my physical strength is sapped from merely walking from this end of the room to the other
end. Im starting to have difficulty sleeping well. Im full of desire from head to foot. Its not
because I have feelings for a man, but because I desire one. Because of this desire I dont know
if Im coming or going, and I cant sleep. Its terrible! I already cant bear to be alone or pass one
tranquil night after another. My body is in turmoil. That patch of lawn has been wet from the 31st
until today, a total of seven days. Its too terrible.
Malu: Are you sick? How many days have you not gone to work?
Mingming: It doesnt matter. Ill see it through. My manager is quite partial to me. Talk to me a
bit. How is your Tula?

Malu: Not too good. Doesnt want to move and is eating less than before. Some people are very
easily frightened when you approach them. Maybe its old, but its only 20 years old, its only a
middle-aged rhinoceros.
Mingming: Maybe its lovesickness.
Malu: Maybe I gave it to him.
(Mingming smiles.)
Mingming: This . . . I want to give you this. (Puts the wallet from that night into Malus hand.
Malu looks at it in disbelief, puts it up to his nose and sniffs.) That day was Chen Feis birthday. I
waited long into the night for him to come but he never came. At that point I gave everything to
you: The cake, the present and my passion.
Malu: Youre saying I wasnt dreaming?
Mingming: Just believe you were dreaming, all those things dont belong to you anyway.
Malu: Then what about yesterday? Yesterday evening?
Mingming: What about yesterday evening?
Malu: You came to me? Or did you not?
Mingming: What are you talking about?
Malu: Damn. Youve messed me up! How can you do that? !
Mingming: Are you referring to that night?
Malu: Right.
Mingming: You didnt like it?
Malu: No! I really dont know if its you who is crazy or if its me.
Mingming: Its not important. Its all finished now.
Malu: Whats finished is you and that guy. Now we can begin.
Mingming: There is no we. Afterward theres only me.
Malu: I wont leave you, and I wont let you leave me.
Mingming: Dont try to compete with me in speaking sweet nothings.
Malu: Wait and see, just wait and see.

Act XIX
Malu has cleaned himself up and is dressed nicely. Heizi and Daxian stand beside him.
Malu: All white things become as black as ink and feel inferior next to you. All ignorant birds and
beasts are in extreme despair since they cant speak your name . . . . .
Heizi: How long are you going to repeat those two lines?
Daxian: He just finished writing them. He hasnt figured out what comes next so all he can do is
mumble them over and over again.
Heizi: How boring. Listening to it makes my ears itch. (Pulls out a match and picks at his ear)
Dont touch me! Move away from me a bit.
Daxian: Dont worry. I wont touch you.
Heizi: Then move away from me a bit, you make me nervous.

Malu: (Finally comes up with the next line) At each intersection the police change the light to
green in order to let you pass through
Daxian: (Taps Heizi with his arm) Hey, thats not bad.
Heizi: (Shouts) Oww! I told you not to touch me!
Daxian: I forgot.
Heizi: You forgot! Im going to be deaf! Dont touch me again!
Daxian: Wont happen.
(Heizi doesnt trust him and moves off a ways. Toothbrush runs in madly.)
Toothbrush: Another ones gone crazy, another one. Daxian, do you know what happened.
Heizi! (Heizi stands with his back toward the others, picking his ear. Toothbrush smacks him on
the back. Heizi cries out painfully. Toothbrush pays him no attention) Malu! Do you know? Do
you know?
Daxian: Whos gone crazy? You?
Toothbrush: Hong Hong.
Heizi: (Covers his ears and comes over. From now on he always picks at his ear as if he cant
hear. In a loud voice.) Who?
Toothbrush: Quiet!
Heizi: What did you say?
Toothbrush: Quiet down! Early this morning Hong Hong came to find me and poured out her
heart shes fallen in love with Malu! The whole morning I was selling eyebrow tweezers and
wherever I went she followed me, I nearly plucked her eyebrows clean off . . . . . . (Imitating
Hong Hong) Tell me again, tell me again! Tell me how impressive Malus eyebrows are, how
attractive his teeth are, how sexy his leg hair is . . . Malus sickness hasnt been cured, and now
shes gone crazy too.
Daxian: Thats to say Malu isnt only sick, but also contagious. (Smiles)
Heizi: Whats so funny? If I have to listen to him sing that song again Im going to go crazy
myself. Im leaving.
(From outside the gate Hong Hong calls out, Malu, its me, Hong Hong.)
Toothbrush: Forget it. The lunatic is here. Im gone.
Daxian: Im also out of here.
(The group exits. Enter Hong Hong. She acts out the scene of delivering food to Malu on a rainy
day and injuring her leg as she slips and falls onto the road.)
Malu: Why did you come here again? !
Hong Hong: Our story still hasnt come to its end.
Malu: Didnt I already tell you that Im not interested in your story! This nonsense of delivering
food in the rain and slipping, this injuring your leg . . .
Hong Hong: If you dont like it we can change it to another kind of story! No matter what this
story is better than the one where you save the child and get hit by the truck, isnt it?
Malu: Why do I have to get hit by a truck?
Hong Hong: Thats just one possibility, in life, anything can happen.

Malu: Youre saying that anything can happen in a soap opera.

Hong Hong: Whats more, maybe youll wake up tomorrow morning and find that you love me
the most.
Malu: Youre joking.
Hong Hong: The audience wont like you if you dont change your lovers. Or youll become
more miserable when you realize that the secretary you love has no sense of honour, looks up
to the rich but down upon the poor, lives above her means, ends up having an affair with her
boss; thats when youll learn from the painful experience that Hong Hong is as pure as the
driven snow . . . . . .
Malu: Nonsense!
Hong Hong: How is it nonsense?
Malu: Spare me the suffering of your vulgar soap operas! Dont you ever dare slander Mingming
with that pack of lies again.
Hong Hong: How did I slander her? Just a moment ago when I came up here I saw her getting
out of some guys Mercedes with my own eyes. In her hand she was holding a big gift. He
looked like he was older than her big brother, but younger than her father. She told me herself
that he was her boss.
Malu: She spoke to you?
Hong Hong: I only care about how the plot develops, so naturally I asked her a few questions.
She admitted that they were lovers, and added that he has a wife.
Malu: Life can really imitate a soap opera.
Hong Hong: Life always imitates soap operas. If you dont believe me you can go ask her
yourself. Shes become so used to it she doesnt even try to hide it. She just takes it for granted.
Malu: Im not the kind of person that can just go and ask her. Perhaps before Id have gotten so
mad that Id have gone crazy. But now . . . is this real? Or is this still one of your soap operas?
Its all the same to me. It wont make me change my mind even slightly. I wont leave you, and I
wont let you leave me. Wait until I know what makes you happy, then youll be mine forever.
Im just missing a little bit. Youll wait for me for sure.
(Exits)
Hong Hong: Hong Hong, youre lucks run out. Youve failed. To think, me, Hong Hong, who
struggled in the entertainment business for decades; who nobody could come close to in one
bitchiness, two charm, or three purity, has suddenly found herself falling for someone who
cares for a black rhinoceros. I never thought Id see the day. Stop, stop, stop . . . Im off!

Act XX
Many people are standing in a row. The photographer is adjusting his camera in preparation.
Toothbrush, Daxian, Malu and everyone are all well-dressed. Heizi, wearing a black tuxedo,
stands in the middle. The brides place is vacant.

Toothbrush: I agree marriage is the only way to put hair on his chest. From this point of view
it seems like marriage has at least one redeeming point.
Malu: Some people reach the end of their mission in life quicker than others.
Toothbrush: I thought fulfilling ones mission well was more important than fulfilling it quickly.
Heizi is too impatient. He cant wait for the pie to cool and cut a slice, hes got to wolf it down in
one gulp . . .(The gathering looks at him. Toothbrush realizes that hes said something
wrong)Thats great!
Heizi: Lily says that we should marry quickly, that our marriage will cross the centuries, and our
child will be born in the new century.
Daxian: A rabbit runs home, a ship returns to port, now China has lost another rake.
Malu: Very good.
Love Counsellor: Society has rid itself of another destabilizing factor.
Daxian: Very good.
Director: This is whats called turning ideas into reality. Its the only negative point about those
who believe in experiencing things firsthand.
Heizi: Why isnt Lily out here yet?
Director: According to most women, the wedding ceremony is a guaranteed opportunity for her
to play the leading role, so naturally shes going to make everyone wait a little while.
Heizi: In a little while theyll announce the winner of the Big Clock lottery ticket!
Toothbrush: You think you can get both a pretty wife and a load of cash?
Heizi: Its called double happiness!
Toothbrush: The saying is: lucky in love, unlucky at cards?
(Hong Hong, in a bridesmaids dress, runs onto the scene.)
Hong Hong: Shes coming. Shes coming. The bride is coming.
(The gathering stands and separates to let Lily through. She wears a cutting-edge wedding
dress.)
Gathering: Truly beautiful!
Lily: I cant find my earring! Has anyone seen my earring?
Photographer: Gather round, gather round. You didnt have them when you were born. Lets
take the picture.
Lily: Im missing an earring. Its a diamond earring!
Heizi: Lets take the pictures first.
Lily: What did I just say? My earring is missing. If I havent got my earring how can I take a
picture?!
Love Counsellor: This is what I was just talking about the bride and grooms first quarrel.
Look at them. Theyre fighting over who will wear the pants in the family.
(Hong Hong is constantly trying to stand beside Malu. Malu shuns her.)
Heizi: I was wrong. Ill take you to buy a new one in just a bit.
(Heizi and Lily return to the group.)
Photographer: Good, good. Everyone pay attention. Look here! Look a bit happier!

The gathering stands gazing at the photographer while he smiles exaggeratedly. The music
starts. The gathering begins to sing in chorus.
This is an age of too many things
This is an age of too much emotion
This is an age of too much knowledge
This is an age of too much information
This is an age of intellect and reason
This is an age of sincerity and pragmatism
We have too many tasks to do
We have too many things to learn
We have too many voices to listen to
We have too many desires to fulfill
Love is a candle, giving you light,
Snuffed out with one gust of wind.
Love is a bird in flight, decorating the scene
Gone with a change in weather.
Love is a freshly blooming flower, thrilling with its scent,
Withered after May.
Love is a rainbow, a multitude of splendid colours,
A twinkling hoax, evaporated by the first rays of the sun.
Love is so wonderful, but delicate to the touch.
Love is so wonderful, but delicate to the touch.
As soon as the flash goes off everyones face lights up and they rush over to the side of the
stage.
Director: Now we greet the arrival of the new century. Weve successfully finished building the
worlds largest clock. It stands rock-solid, indestructible, a manifestation of humanitys wisdom
and strength. The lottery tickets issued in its name have already brought in five million Yuan. A
miracle will occur today. A miracle will occur at this moment. How many hundreds of millions of
pairs of eyes are gazing at us right now, gazing at this spot, watching this miracle drawing closer
and closer? Upon whose head will the worldly prize fall? Who will be the new centurys lucky
one? !
Resident A: If I win the money I will build the Century of Hope school in my hometown.
Resident B: If I win the money, Ill use all of it to build up a relationship between the new
century and extraterrestrials.
Resident C: Ill contribute my meager strength toward fighting air pollution.
Resident D: Ill use it all to completely repay a debt.
Resident E: Buy diamond earrings!
Resident F: Go abroad.
Resident G: Buy a house.
Resident H: Buy a pile of Viagra.

(Drum roll.)
Director: The miracle, we are about to receive the miracle.
(On the screen numbers begin to flash, finally stopping on a number. Malu jumps out from the
crowd. He walks slowly up to the raised platform. The crowd all raise their heads and look on
dully.)
Malu: One has to believe in miracles. (Raises the lottery ticket in his hand. The crowd cheers.
Malus friends holler wildly.)
Heizi: Its Malu! Its Malu!
Lily: What a great day!
Daxian: Im in the process of computing the probabilities!
Hong Hong: I love you!
Toothbrush: The saying is: lucky at cards, unlucky in love!
Heizi: I also want to be unlucky in love!
Director: Lucky guy, whats your name?
Malu: Malu.
Director: Congratulations.
Malu: Thanks.
Director: After careful examination it is without a doubt that Malus lottery ticket is indeed the
winner. Heres five million Yuan in cash!
(Malu receives a box. The crowd cheers.)
Director: May I ask you what your plans are for the money?
Malu: Honestly speaking, the money isnt of much use to me . . . . . .
Heizi: Give it to me!
Malu: A total of one tenth. I promise to give my best friends a portion . . .
(Heizi, Toothbrush, and Daxian cheer.)
Malu: . . . . . . For Tula the rhinoceros Ill buy an African female rhinos so he can have a
companion.
Director: Thats certainly an imaginative idea. Any others?
(Malu doesnt reply. Suddenly he picks up the money and dashes off.)
Crowd: Wheres he going? Wheres he off to?
Director: Follow him. Get the camera on him.
Daxian and the rest: Malu! Wait!
Hong Hong: My shoe, my shoe fell off!
Lily: Who stepped on my skirt!
Crowd: Where is he going?
A: Hes going to hide the money!
B: Hes trying to avoid a debt?
C: Hes trying to avoid lending it out!
Director: (Runs and talks at the same time) Hes already run across five avenues, leaving the
crowd behind him. Judging from the way he jogs, from his posture and his physical strength,

some experts suspect that he is a champion marathon runner. We are diligently collecting
background material on Malu. Malu has now turned down an alley and arrived in front of a
building. Hes going upstairs . . . . .
Malu: Mingming, open the door. Its me Malu! Mingming!
Director: (Excitedly) Hes knocking on a door. Hes calling a persons name! (The crowd
pursues him, panting.)
Malu: Mingming, can you hear me? Its me, Malu, open the door! I told myself that if I can make
you happy, then I wont ever have to leave you, and that I wouldnt let you leave me. Ive been
preparing for a very long time. Ive studied the computer, English; I even finished a training
course on love. Now I finally have enough money. Mingming, the money is useless, but if it can
make you happy then it does have a use. Its all yours!
(The crowd cheers.)
Director: Who is Mingming? Who is Mingming? Quick, get me background material!
Malu: What are you all cheering about? Why are you cheering? My hearts cheering so much
its about to burst, but I dare say that we are not cheering the same thing! Believe me, heaven
favours the brave and the strong, those full of affection for another. If you love something, desire
something, believe me, just go love it, just go desire it, so long as your desire is strong enough
you are invincible! Mingming, I want to give you happiness! A happiness like no one has ever
known!
(Mingming appears in the window.)
Mingming: I dont want it.
Director: What did she say? What did she say? I cant hear clearly.
Mingming: Youre rich; the others are also rich. Why should I want your money when I dont
even want to give you the things you want from me?
Malu: No, I dont want anything from you. I must give you something. I must give you
happiness.
Mingming: Thanks, but you go and use it for yourself.
Malu: What? What are you saying?
Mingming: I said I dont want it your money or your happiness.
Malu: Why?
Mingming: Youd better go use the money to do things that make you happy.
Malu: The only thing that makes me happy is you!
Mingming: Then I really dont want it.
Malu: Why? Didnt you tell me that you didnt need money, that you didnt like money, that you
could get money by being someone elses mistress? Why is my money any different from
theirs?
Mingming: I dont want your money. Can you force me to take it? Im willing to be a whore in
order to get money, but its got nothing to do with you. I cant bear the pure look on your face. I
dont love you. I dont want to hear you pour out your heart out into my ears every day. I dont
want it because I dont want you to have this power over me. Do you understand?

(Mingming walks away from the window.)

Malu: Then what use is it to me?
Daxian: Dont listen to her! If some people are so naturally despicable, that they turn the good
intentions of someone into shit, then the best thing you can do is to treat them like shit.
Toothbrush: Right! Shes worthless. Even if she swears she loves you, you should never
believe her. What an attitude!
Malu: All the smells have vanished. The scent of lemon chewing gum, the scent of photocopier
on her body, the smell of the leather wallet. My nose cant smell a thing. Im starting to doubt
myself, starting to doubt the love I have for her, starting to doubt everything. . . What is there to
show me Im still me? What is there to show me Im still alive? This isnt a question of whether to
love or not, but a kind of contest. Not a contest between her and myself, but a contest between
everything and me. That I never had anything isnt important, but now that I realize Ive lost. I
have to tuck my tail between my legs and obey. I will always compromise with life, become just
another normal person in your eyes, only take those things which life gives easily. To struggle
for happiness in the shadows is meaningless. Id rather do nothing.
Heizi: Fool.
Malu: (Toward Mingmings room behind the window) Mingming, I know, that for me this is a lot
of money and that to others its mere change. But they cant compare to me in one thing: I could
give it all up for you; they cant.
(Malu finishes his speech and gently lays down the box of money. Exits. The crowd watches
him dumbfounded, then suddenly surround the box.)

Act XXI
The rhinoceros enclosure.
Malu: All the other rhinos have gone. Dont you feel lonely here? The new rhinoceros enclosure
is pretty good, spacious, bright, well ventilated. Tana, the white rhino has settled in down there.
Theres a newly purchased male rhino that is very gentle and young. He spends every day
curiously looking the place over, making careful advances toward Tana. Dont you want to go
have a look? All you have to do is go nicely into that cage full of apples and bananas; theyll
close the door and take you over there. Why do you always go up to the cage and turn away,
not willing to go in? Theyve already been waiting for a whole month. I can tell that theyre
starting to lose their patience. The director said that if you are still unwilling to go into the cage
by tomorrow, hes going to get the tranquillizer gun. Look, this gun here! Do you want people to
treat you like this? Poor Tula. I know you dont get along with anyone, just like me and Daxian,
Toothbrush and the others. We only stayed together out of boredom. But now theyre convinced
that Im a lunatic and dont even give me the time of day. You should be more like the other
rhinos and bow to your destiny, then you wont be depressed. How hard is it to obey destiny? I
think most people just naturally do that. So long as others do it you should just do the same and
itll all be fine. Thats why were not welcomed by others. We should probably use the

tranquillizer gun. I also thought about giving up many times, but when I thought about it, my
body began to ache all over. Once I realized that this pain would never leave me, once I realized
that my eyes would become lifeless because of it, I got scared. Loving her was the best thing
Ive ever done.
(Mingming enters.)
Malu: Mingming.
Mingming: Im leaving. I came to say goodbye.
Malu: Youre leaving?
Mingming: Heaven favours the brave, the strong, those who are full of affection for someone.
Malu: Youre going to go look for that guy?
Mingming: I also thought about giving up many times, but when I thought about it, my body
began to ache all over. Once I realized that this pain would never leave me, once I realized that
the expression in my eyes would become lifeless because of it, I got scared. Loving him was the
best thing that Ive ever done.
Malu: What are you saying?
Mingming: I just heard you say that a moment ago.
Malu: Then you understand?
Mingming: I understood the whole thing.
Malu: You still want to leave?
Mingming: Im leaving.
Malu: Then you didnt understand. I wont leave you, and I wont let you leave me! (Malu
suddenly lunges at Mingming. He grabs some rope to tie her up. Mingming struggles with all her
might.)
Malu: I told you that Im the kind of person who always keeps my word. That night it was you
who pleaded with me to never leave you, and not let you leave me, so you shouldve realized
earlier that you cant escape me. Ill chase you to the ends of the earth! Dont struggle.
Struggling is useless. We are doomed to die together!
Mingming: Youre a lunatic. Let go of me. Do you still not understand? I dont want to be with
you! Help! Somebody help me!
(Malu stops her from struggling and strikes her hard on the neck. Mingming passes out and
collapses into his chest.)

Act XXII
Mingming is blindfolded and tied to a chair. Malu, is sitting beside her.
Malu: Dusk is the worst time for my vision. My eye wanders to the busy street. All I see are
pretty girls. The buildings and streets are shifting in and out of focus; its like being in a movie:
Youre standing on the corner of the stairs. Theres a strange, fragrant scent. Its a little warm. It
smells strange. Its only when it brushes against your body that you notice that youre crying.
Thats when it all started.

How can I possibly make you understand that I love you this much? Silently bear it and swallow
my tears? Shout it at the top of my lungs until Im hoarse and collapse from exhaustion? Curse
myself bitterly before the mirror? Rush into your office and knock you to the floor? Go to
university, get a PhD and become an author? Give myself up for lost and be pitied by others
from now on? Check into a mental hospital and love you until I actually have a breakdown? Get
lovesick? Or should I set myself on fire beneath your window? Mingming, tell me what I should
do. Youre smart, clever, quick-witted and silver-tongued, foolish beyond compare. My love, my
Mingming . . .
(Malu takes off Mingmings blindfold. Tula cries out directly in front of Mingming.)
Mingming: What are you doing? Go away! Get rid of this rhinoceros!
Malu: This is Tula, my best and also my last companion. Mingming, I want to give you
everything, but I dont have a thing in the world. I want to give it all up for you, but Ive got
nothing to give up. Money, status, glory; without these kinds of things my little bit of self-respect
means nothing. If this were the Middle Ages, I could go be a knight and write your name in each
city that I conquered. If this were the desert, I would drain my last drop of blood to moisten your
parched lips. If I were an astronomer, theres be a star named Mingming. If I were a poet, all
sounds would sing for you. If I were a judge, Id be guided by your likes and dislikes. If I were a
priest, there would be no better heaven than you. If I were a sentry, each character of your
name would be my password. If I were a deposed emperor, Id ignore the sneers of the people
to see you one last time. If I were a killer who killed without remorse, they would beg you to
control me. But Im nothing, just an average person. What can an ordinary person like me do for
you?
(Malu suddenly pulls out a knife and plunges it into Tula! Blood wells up and spurts forth. Tula
lets out a terrified howl. A violent rage fills Malu. Mingming screams and shouts at the top of her
lungs.)
Malu: Dont be afraid, Tula, I want to take you away, up above the pond, up above the glen,
across the mountains and the forest, across the clouds and the sea, across the other side of the
sun, across those gossamer clouds, across the boundless limits of the starry universe and place
you above life itself. In front of you is the vast African savannah. The setting sun hangs from the
giraffes prolonged neck. A myriad of life glows with the approach of the rainy season.
(Malu lifts the gun and kills Tula. Tulas giant body slumps and slowly falls over. Mingming
watches in panicked silence as Malu takes a knife and moves toward Tula. Taking the knife, he
plunges it in and pulls out Tulas bloody heart.)
Malu: These are the last things I can give you, Tulas heart, and me. Can you accept them?
Mingming, my dear, gentle, sweet . . .
(Mingmings face is full of tears. She cannot speak.)
Malu: All white things become as black as ink and feel inferior next to you. All ignorant birds and
beasts are in extreme despair since they cant speak your name. At each intersection the police
change the light to green in order to let you pass through.

All perfectly aligned compasses point out your position to me.

Youre the wind that leaves no trace
Youre the wind that brushes over my body
Youre the wind that never reveals a thing
Youre the wind thats everywhere
I love you so much Mingming.
(Malu grasps Mingming.)
Mingming: You finished writing your poem. Its beautiful, what a shame.
(A searchlight suddenly shines in. A siren wails. Many people rush into the rhinoceros
enclosure. They look upon the scene dumbfounded, not actually daring to approach.)
Police: Malu, release the hostage immediately. Raise your hands in the air and surrender.
Weve got you surrounded!
Heizi and the others: Malu!
(Malu all is aloof to what is happening around him. He hugs Mingming Mingming sits
motionless; her eyes stare off into the distance. She suddenly starts to sing.)
Mingming:
Smile at me, like when we met for the first time
Speak to me, even if your vows change tomorrow
Hold me tight, on this night thats so cold
Think of me, in that year you began to feel old
The years that will pass will pass,
In the end it will only be me by your side.
The years that will pass will pass,
In the end it will only be me by your side.
Smile at me, like when we met for the first time
Speak to me, even if your vows change tomorrow
Hold me tight, on this night thats so cold
Think of me, in that year you began to feel old.
Mingming and Malu:
You were different, unique, soft, clean like the sky.
You were my warm glove, my ice-cold beer.
You carried the fragrance of a shirt laundered in the sun; you were a never-ending dream.
You were chaste, naive, like glass.
You were chaste, naive, nothing could dirty you.
You were chaste, naive, nothing could change you,
Sunlight passed through you and changed its direction
My love, my love, my love, my love.
End