BAM 1116 Peacemakers Course

PEACEMAKER MINISTRIES
A B.A. Level Course Syllabus
Conflict and
Reconciliation:
You, Your Church,

and Your Community
Version 1.0
INSTITUTE FOR
CHRISTIAN CONCILIATION
MINISTRY RELATIONS
YOUNG PEACEMAKERS
INTERNATIONAL MINISTRIES
Peacemaker Ministries is a non-profit organization that was founded in 1982 to equip and assist Christians and their churches
to respond to conflict biblically. We provide conflict coaching, mediation, and arbitration services to help resolve lawsuits,
family conflicts, business disputes, and church divisions. Our training services include seminars, the Reconciler Training and
Certification Programs, and custom training for denominations, seminaries, and parachurch ministries.
Copyright 2006 by Peacemaker Ministries. All rights reserved.
Peacemaker Ministries encourages others to draw freely on the concepts that we have developed to communicate biblical
peacemaking principles. If you wish to use brief illustrative quotations from our work (such as three or four sentences
summarizing the Four Promises of Forgiveness), we ask only that you give proper attribution for the source of the concepts by
listing the title, author, publication information, and our name and web site; for example:
Reprinted or adapted from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, 3d ed. (Ken Sande,
Baker Books, 2004). Peacemaker Ministries (www.Peacemaker.net).
If you wish to reprint substantial portions of our work (such as the Peacemakers Pledge or the Slippery Slope diagram), please
contact us to obtain written Permission to Use Copyrighted Material, which we usually grant quite readily.
If you are interested in teaching any of our materials or concepts, please adhere to our Policy for Teaching and Using Copyrighted
Materials. To review the policy in its entirety, please visit our Web site at www.Peacemaker.net or contact us at 406-256-1583.
Seminaries and schools within the Overseas Council International network are welcome to teach, photocopy, or otherwise
make use of this material within the context of their normal teaching and outreach activities. No prior permission is
necessary. Peacemaker Ministries is available to assist OCI-affiliated schools by responding to questions, or
providing supplemental materials, as required. We would especially like to learn from your experiences as you teach this
material and receive recommendations for how it should be modified to be more of use in the classroom. Please contact either
Chip Zimmer, International Director (czimmer@peacemaker.net), or Molly Routson, Assistant to the International Director
(mroutson@peacemaker.net), with your questions and comments.
This publication is designed to provide general information on biblical conflict resolution. It is not intended to provide legal or
other professional advice. If legal counsel or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional
should be sought.
Scripture quotations are from the New International Version. Copyright 1973, 1984 International Bible Society.
PEACEMAKER MINISTRIES
PO Box 81130, Billings, MT 59108
406-256-1583 Fax 406-256-001
mail@Peacemaker.net www.Peacemaker.net
Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION: CONFLICT AND RECONCILIATION: YOU, YOUR CHURCH AND YOUR COMMUNITY............. 1
INTRODUCTION............................................................................................................................................................................. 1
COURSE OBJECTIVES ................................................................................................................................................................... 2
COURSE ASSUMPTIONS ................................................................................................................................................................ 2
TEACHING METHODOLOGIES ...................................................................................................................................................... 3
SUGGESTED G UIDELINES FOR STUDENT PARTICIPATION ......................................................................................................... 6
INSTRUCTIONAL MATERIALS AND EQUIPMENT ......................................................................................................................... 8
COURSE FOLLOW-THROUGH ....................................................................................................................................................... 8
COURSE ASSESSMENT .................................................................................................................................................................. 8
TEXTBOOKS AND J OURNALS FOR THIS COURSE ........................................................................................................................ 9
SESSION 1: BIBLICAL THEOLOGY OF CONFLICT: KNOWING GOD ..................................................................... 11
DAILY OBJECTIVES .................................................................................................................................................................... 11
INTRODUCTION TO COURSE....................................................................................................................................................... 11
KNOWING GODS GLORY IN RECONCILIATION ........................................................................................................................ 11
KNOWING GODS PURPOSE OF SHALOM ................................................................................................................................... 12
HOMEWORK................................................................................................................................................................................ 13
VIDEO LECTURE NOTES: KNOWING GODS GLORY IN RECONCILIATION ................................................................................ 14
LECTURE NOTES: SHALOM ........................................................................................................................................................ 17
KNOWING GODS PURPOSE WORKSHEET ................................................................................................................................. 20
SESSION 2: BIBLICAL THEOLOGY OF CONFLICT: REDEMPTION....................................................................... 23
WHOLE GROUP D ISCUSSION ..................................................................................................................................................... 23
GODS PROCESS FOR PEACE ...................................................................................................................................................... 24
HOMEWORK................................................................................................................................................................................ 25
LECTURE NOTES: GODS PROCESS FOR PEACE ....................................................................................................................... 26
SESSION 3: THE GLORY OF GOD IN CONFLICT ........................................................................................................ 29
UNDERSTANDING CONFLICT ..................................................................................................................................................... 30
OPPORTUNITIES IN CONFLICT ................................................................................................................................................... 31
HOMEWORK................................................................................................................................................................................ 33
LECTURE NOTES: THE FOUR PERSPECTIVES ON CONFLICT .................................................................................................... 34
INTRODUCE SESSIONS 3-6 ......................................................................................................................................................... 34
GUIDELINES FOR A CASE STUDY .............................................................................................................................................. 35
SESSION 4: SEEING MY HEART AT THE CENTER OF CONFLICT........................................................................ 39
IDOLS OF THE HEART ................................................................................................................................................................. 39
REPENTANCE .............................................................................................................................................................................. 40
CONFESSION THAT BRINGS FREEDOM AND HEALS ................................................................................................................. 41
HOMEWORK................................................................................................................................................................................ 42
LECTURE NOTES: RECOGNIZING THE IDOLS OF OUR HEARTS.................................................................................................. 43
THE PROBLEM: IDOLATRY .......................................................................................................................................................... 43
iii
SELF -EVALUATION OF IDOLS OF THE HEART ........................................................................................................................... 46

LECTURE NOTES: REPENTANCE OR REGRET?........................................................................................................................... 47
SESSION 5: SEEING OTHERS IN A NEW WAY: PERSONAL PEACEMAKING........................................................ 49
PEACEMAKING RESPONSES TO CONFLICT ................................................................................................................................ 49
DISCUSSING THE MATTER ......................................................................................................................................................... 51
BUILDING TRUST ........................................................................................................................................................................ 51
NEGOTIATING ............................................................................................................................................................................. 52
HOMEWORK ................................................................................................................................................................................ 53
LECTURE NOTES: INTRODUCTION TO PERSONAL PEACEMAKING ............................................................................................. 54
CASE STUDY ROLE -PLAY ON ACTS 15 ..................................................................................................................................... 57
SECRET ROLE -PLAY I NFORMATION FOR EACH PARTY ............................................................................................................ 58
ISSUES, POSITIONS AND I NTERESTS .......................................................................................................................................... 59
LECTURE NOTES: NEGOTIATING SUBSTANTIVE ISSUES............................................................................................................. 60
SESSION 6: GO AND BE RECONCILED: SEEING RELATIONSHIPS IN A NEW WAY, FORGIVING, AND
REBUILDING............................................................................................................................................................................... 63
TRANSFORMING CONFLICT........................................................................................................................................................ 63
REDEEMING CONFLICT .............................................................................................................................................................. 64
HOMEWORK ................................................................................................................................................................................ 66
LECTURE NOTES: REDEMPTIVE NEGOTIATION (PAUSE)......................................................................................................... 67
LECTURE NOTES: REDEEMING CONFLICT ................................................................................................................................. 69
BUILDING TRUST WORKSHEET ................................................................................................................................................. 72
SESSION 7: COACHING OTHERS IN CONFLICT: GATHERING INFORMATION ................................................ 73
GETTING FROM FACTS TO MEANING ........................................................................................................................................ 74
GETTING TO THE HEART ............................................................................................................................................................ 75
HOMEWORK ................................................................................................................................................................................ 75
LECTURE NOTES: GATHERING INFORMATION BY LISTENING.................................................................................................... 76
LECTURE NOTES: IDOLATRY--GETTING TO THE HEART OF CONFLICT ..................................................................................... 79
IDOLS OF THE HEART WORKSHEET ........................................................................................................................................... 81
SESSION 8: COACHING OTHERS IN CONFLICT: APPLYING THE GOSPEL ........................................................ 83
WHAT IS THE GOSPEL AND H OW D OES IT BRING HEALING TO CONFLICT?....................................................................... 83
NEGOTIATING AND LONGSUFFERING ........................................................................................................................................ 85
TOOLS FOR COACHING ............................................................................................................................................................... 86
HOMEWORK ................................................................................................................................................................................ 86
LECTURE NOTES: USING HOMEWORK ...................................................................................................................................... 87
SESSION 9: PEACEMAKING IN MY HEART COMMUNITY: THE CHURCH ........................................................ 91
THE PROBLEM OF CONFLICT IN THE CHURCH .......................................................................................................................... 92
UNDERSTANDING THE ROOTS AND FRUIT OF PEACE ............................................................................................................... 92
HOMEWORK ................................................................................................................................................................................ 94
LECTURE NOTES: THE PROBLEM OF CONFLICT IN THE CHURCH ............................................................................................ 95
BIBLE DISCOVERY EXERCISE: BRINGING SHALOMUNDERSTANDING THE ROOTS AND FRUIT OF PEACE............................. 98
LECTURE NOTES: LIVING SHALOM AS A PEACEMAKING CHURCH ......................................................................................100
CASE STUDIES: PEACEMAKING IN THE CHURCH .....................................................................................................................101
SESSION 10: BEARING SHALOM IN OUR COMMUNITIES ......................................................................................103
DAILY OBJECTIVES ..................................................................................................................................................................103
A BIBLICAL VIEW OF CHANGE ................................................................................................................................................104
COURSE DEBRIEF .....................................................................................................................................................................105
COURSE EVALUATION .............................................................................................................................................................106
LECTURE NOTES: SHALOM IN SYCHAR ....................................................................................................................................107
APPENDIX A: BIBLIOGRAPHY ..........................................................................................................................................111
BIBLICAL HELPS .......................................................................................................................................................................111
CHURCH CONFLICT ..................................................................................................................................................................111
CHURCH D ISCIPLINE ................................................................................................................................................................113
iv
CHURCH ORGANIZATION /MANAGEMENT .............................................................................................................................. 114

COMMUNITY CONFLICT ........................................................................................................................................................... 114
COUNSELING ............................................................................................................................................................................ 114
FORGIVENESS ........................................................................................................................................................................... 115
LEGAL LIABILITY ..................................................................................................................................................................... 116
MARITAL CONFLICT ................................................................................................................................................................ 117
NEGOTIATION/MEDIATION/ARBITRATION ............................................................................................................................. 117
PERSONAL PEACEMAKING....................................................................................................................................................... 118
SEXUAL MISCONDUCT ............................................................................................................................................................. 118
SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE .............................................................................................................................................................. 118
SPIRITUAL WARFARE ............................................................................................................................................................... 118
APPENDIX B: TRAINING TO FAILURE, TRAINING TO SUCCESS: THE HIDDEN CURRICULUM OF
SEMINARY EDUCATION ....................................................................................................................................................... 119
APPENDIX C: THE PEACEMAKER CHURCH ............................................................................................................... 127
VISION: THE POWER OF A PEACEMAKER CHURCH .................................................................................................................. 127
LEADERS AS PEACEMAKERS ................................................................................................................................................... 130
BUILDING COMMUNITY ........................................................................................................................................................... 133
RECONCILIATION: PERSONAL PEACEMAKING ......................................................................................................................... 135
ASSISTED PEACEMAKING: COUNSELING ONE ANOTHER ....................................................................................................... 137
ASSISTANCE: MUTUAL ACCOUNTABILITY ................................................................................................................................ 140
WITNESS: THE APPEALING WITNESS OF UNITY ...................................................................................................................... 142
vi
C O N F L I C T
A N D
R E C O N C I L I A T I O N
Intro.
Conflict and
Reconciliation: You,
Your Church and Your
Community
The purpose of Conflict and Reconciliation is to lay the
foundations for a biblical and theological approach to conflict
management that will guide the church leader in responding to
interpersonal conflict both in the church and in the
community.
Introduction
Conflict is arguably more violent in some regions of the world than in others.
Conflict is present in nearly every church in one form or another, consumes as much
as 50% of a pastors time, and litigation even in parts of the world where it has been
previously small, is rising yearly. Conflict with other church leaders is often cited as a
major cause of leaving a ministry or congregation, and the very presence of so many
small parachurch organizations and denominational splinters is evidence that the
church does not handle its conflict well.
These lesson plans are designed to be used in thirty contact hours of teaching. As
they appear, they may be taught as a one-week block course of six hours a day. If it is
taught this way it is important to have a variety of presentation methods. This
curriculum will give you the opportunity to use a variety of methods according to the
needs of the class and the lecturers background and presentation style.
UNIT HOURS: THIRTY

(30) CONTACT HOURS
TAUGHT IN TEN
SESSIONS OF THREE
(3) HOURS EACH
PRE-REQUISITES: NONE
USING THIS SYLLABUS
C O N F L I C T
A N D
Because this course may be taught as a one-week block course, it is not optimally
configured to bring deeper skills or attitude changes. These will need to be developed
through careful assignments that follow the course as well as mentoring and
supervision of students.
Course Objectives
By the end of the course the students will be able to:
Identify core causes of conflicts;
Evaluate a variety of issues in conflict resolution;
Develop a theology and philosophy of ministry in conflicted situations;
Apply biblical principles to various kinds of conflict;
Illustrate biblical conflict and reconciliation procedures in their cultural

context;
Develop skills in conflict resolution;
Identify and make reconciliation a central value in their own lives and
Christian ministries;
Develop a passion for peace and reconciliation in personal, church, and

national life;
Seek to grow in their peacemaking skills.
Course Assumptions
This syllabus assumes that the lecturer has an interest in peacemaking, but probably
not extensive background in it. It further assumes that the students in the course are
primarily church leaders, so a primary focus is biblical peacemaking in and through
the church.
Each days session is intended to go for three hours, and the approximate time
allocation for each section of the session is indicated in a box in the margin. The
process segments are summarized in the side bar and given in detail in the main text
next to the side bar. This is to facilitate the lecturer keeping track of where the
process is going next.
C O N F L I C T
A N D
This course is only the foundation for a larger curriculum in peacemaking. It focuses
on personal peacemaking and the application of biblical peacemaking principles in
the context of the local church. It does not deal with issues that are vital in many
parts of the world, such as ethnic or racial conflict, nor with the healing that is
necessary following violence in conflict. A useful companion to this course would be
a course on biblical counseling, since the application of the principles of personal
peacemaking through coaching requires basic counseling skills.
Teaching Methodologies
This course intends to change the attitudes and practices of those who take it. Many
courses are taught to mostly impart knowledge. Biblical peacemaking, however,
needs to go beyond information if the church is to be a redemptive element in
individual and community lives. This curriculum encourages the use of active rather
than passive learning. It relies heavily upon experience as the starting point so that
students can reflect on what they already know and move more rapidly to apply new
insights to their lives and actions. General guidelines for the higher level learning
methods found in this course are introduced below.
Discussion
Discussion groups are effective for different kinds of learning. Usually smaller groups
generate more participation and enable more in-depth reflection. Larger groups may
generate more ideas, more solutions, or may help everyone in the class understand a
single application. The following is a summary of the strengths and weakness of
various group sizes:
Groups of two or three are best for maximum participation and for
covering many small pieces of reflection. It is often difficult to have small
groups report back to the whole group because of the time required in a
large class. If this is true of your class, consider combining several of
these smaller groups before they report to the whole group so that their
ideas and answers can be combined.
Groups of 4-6 are ideal for generating ideas, options, and reflecting upon
cultural norms. Groups of this size should be given an opportunity to
report back to the whole group. Sometimes you might want a brief
written report rather than a verbal report.
A group of one, or a nominal group is often overlooked. Many times

small group discussion or whole group discussion can be jump-started
by asking one or two focused questions and requiring each person to
write his answers. This gives everyone something to say in the group
discussion.
C O N F L I C T
A N D
Each participant in the course has something to contribute to others. This

curriculum is built on the solid belief that we are all learners and we learn in
partnership with one another. As an instructor, you will not be able to give
extensive individual feedback time with each student, but students will serve one
another by bringing their life experience and wisdom to bear in providing
insightful and instructive feedback.
Personal Stories
Personal stories are a powerful tool to help a person apply understanding to his own
life and practice. When personal stories are suggested, the instructor should recognize
that deep emotions often may be uncovered. Deep truth and experience is important
as a student begins to look at his own failure and pain. That failure and pain will
include many important lessons. Helping a student understand the meaning of this
deep truth is important. When personal stories are told, they should be honored and
treated with confidentiality. Always help the student attempt to analyze his story and
come to a greater understanding of the lessons learned.
Self Evaluation Tools
Several evaluation tools are included in this curriculum. Whether a student is
evaluating his own experience, that of someone else, or his church, it is important to
help the student use that evaluation as a means of edifying and encouraging the other
person or churchnot as a means to tear them down. The self evaluation that a
person does of his own attitudes or practice may form the basis of a learning
covenant.
Accountability Partners
This course may be more beneficial to students and allow them to look more deeply
into their own attitudes and practice if they are able to share deep truth with someone
else in the class who is thinking through the same things and can lovingly and gently
encourage change. This may best be done by encouraging students to identify an
accountability partner (or partners). If students have not known each other before
this class, then it will take several days and different exercises to help students come
to know those with whom they can be comfortable in sharing deep truth. Allow no
more than three people to form an accountability group.
Case Studies
Case studies are a powerful learning tool. This curriculum has some case studies that
may be used. Often the best teaching method is to have the students write their own
case studies and use these in the class. Usually students cannot write a good case
study the first time. Practice will help them know what to include or not. Actually
discussing the case studies as a whole group will allow the teacher to guide the class
over the rough spots of the case study. A case study is a very good final exam
C O N F L I C T
A N D
question because it allows the students to apply all that they have learned to a real
situation.
Video
Video is a powerful learning tool because it allows the student to actually see and
understand a situation. A good video is not necessarily one that gives the right
answer! A good video is one that raises the important questions. Be sure to debrief
any video carefully. You should preview the video to know the questions you want to
ask. Eventually, we anticipate that we will include additional videos with this
curriculum.
Writing Assignment
No thorough reflection is complete without a written assignment. You should require
at least a short written assignment each day. This is to help develop both the skill of
writing as well as to develop the skill of analytic thinking and precision in
communication.
Journaling
This course uses a standard homework assignment of journaling. There are
numerous sources to explain the virtues and methods used in journaling. You may
want to acquaint yourself with some of these. Minimally, the idea of journaling is to
encourage a person to track and monitor his own changes in observation,
understanding, and reflection. This becomes a key monitoring and evaluation tool for
the course. The journal should be taken seriously, and daily entry requirednot
simply a monthly catch-up summary.
Reading Assignment
As the teacher you will need to decide how much extra reading can be managed by
your students. While the minimum suggestion is The Peacemaker by Ken Sande, there
are key sections of the book that you may need to pick out if the entire book is too
much for your students. If you have able students you should challenge them to read
additional writings as well. It is helpful to require some written answers to key
questions that the reading may suggest. Consider asking application questions and
not just fact questions that can be answered by looking at a certain page and
writing what the book says.
Lecture Guides
Lecture is not the best teaching method to accomplish higher learning objectives. It is
useful for explaining material in a fairly short time period. Even with an examination
following a lecture, however, it is difficult to know what has actually been learned. An
examination mostly measures what is remembered.
C O N F L I C T
A N D
This curriculum suggests places where a brief lecture may be helpful to explain some
of the information. We suggest that you use no more than fifteen minutes of lecture
at a time and do not try to pack more lectures into your teaching sessions. The
lectures are followed by response sessions where a student is able to engage in a
more active form of learning so that the information from the lecture can be
internalized.
The lecture notes provided in this syllabus are not intended to be complete. They are
suggestive and as the lecturer you will need to prepare your own lectures prior to the
class session. The notes provided do offer a logical flow of presentation that draws
from previous learning and leads into additional learning steps. If you choose to
depart very far from the ideas of the lecture notes you may find that the sequence of
learning topics is broken.
For many years Blooms taxonomy of educational objectives has been used to guide
teaching at all levels. The use of short lecture in this course will assist the students to
grow in their knowledge of biblical peacemaking. Through the use of experiential
exercises which precede and follow lectures, the students will be able to develop the
skills to analyze, synthesize, and evaluate the application of principles in their own
lives. See the article in Appendix B by Perry W.H. Shaw for further reflection.
Crucial to the process of transformation of attitude and practice will be the
mentoring and feedback that the student will receive from other students, from the
instructor, and from church mentors. Although this curriculum in its current form
does not have an accompanying practicum, a mentored practicum is the best way to
bring the truths learned in this course to life. Please contact Peacemaker Ministries if
you would like advice for adding more experiential exercises to this course.
Mentoring
Mentoring in biblical peacemaking must be intentional, just like any aspect of
Christian discipleship. Because peacemaking is a combination of heart attitude and
skillful and obedient response to conflict, mentoring is an opportunity for those who
have learned the pitfalls and joys of peacemaking to encourage uniquely individual
and biblical heart responses to conflict.
Suggested Guidelines for

Student Participation
Peacemaker Ministries recommends presenting the following guidelines to students
at the beginning of the course. This allows them to understand what the class will
require of them and to set their own expectations with respect to their own
participation throughout the course.
C O N F L I C T
A N D
Be a Berean
Just as the Bereans did, search the Scriptures in order to test all of the principles
presented to you (Acts 17:11).
Confidentiality
To maximize your learning experience, we encourage you to be self-reflective
and transparent with each other. In order to foster an environment where people
can be honest about themselves and take responsibility for their own decisions,
please respect the confidentiality of your fellow participants.
Of the moment: Keep confidential what you are told by another

participant unless you have the consent of that person to divulge it to
the rest of the group (including your instructor).
Of reference: During discussions, you may have occasion to

mention situations involving third persons who are known to others
in this room. Please be careful how you refer to others in your
organization. You may want to change some facts to disguise any
such references and protect confidentiality.
Special Exercises
Throughout the course, we will employ special exercises and role-plays to
facilitate greater learning. These training techniques are essential to the learning
process and will greatly improve your conciliation skills. If a particular role
presents difficulties for you, please ask your instructor for guidance or reassignment to a different role.
Ask Questions
Your active interaction with the instructors and other participants is an integral
part of our learning together. We love questions! However, in the interest of
time and in order to facilitate group dynamics, the instructors may direct some
questions to break times.
Note Your Ahas
Please take the time to note your Ahas. You will learn a great deal of
information and may have some key insights into your present calling or
situation. Write these insights down so that you may easily refer back to them
when you have a special need. Your journal will be a good place to record these
insights.
Be Considerate
In this age of cell phones and beepers, our technology can sometimes be a
distraction. Please be respectful of your fellow classmates and the instructors.
C O N F L I C T
A N D
Instructional Materials and Equipment

We suggest the following materials and equipment for this course:
Video projector,
Chalk board or newsprint boards,
Workbooks or notes,
Textbook, and
Additional readings.
Course Follow-Through
There are many relevant topics in conflict resolution that are not covered in this
syllabus. Peacemaker Ministries plans to expand this syllabus in the future to provide
a fuller curriculum. If you have suggestions or comments, please contact us at
mail@peacemaker.net.
We strongly urge you to teach this course in the context of a fuller plan to mentor
and accompany your students in the application of these truths so that they become
life skills. Without such a plan it is possible that this course will only be one more
passing idea in the menu of good intentions.
Course Assessment
There are a variety of ways to assess the students knowledge and ability to apply the
material. You may choose from among class participation, the journals, a final project
(such as the homework assignment in Session 9), a major paper (at least 15 pages in
length in which the student recommends a detailed plan of action for a conflicted
church or applies peacemaking principles to a conflict in the larger society), and
examinations.
If examinations are selected, we recommend that they test the students ability to
apply the principles of biblical peacemaking to specific circumstances, rather than
merely test their ability to remember key passages from Scripture or recall the key
points of a lecture.
An assessment profile might look like this:
Class Participation: 30%
C O N F L I C T
A N D
Journal/Homework: 20%
Major Paper: 50%
Textbooks and Journals for This Course

Required textbooks:
Poirier, Alfred. The Peacemaking Pastor. Grand Rapids: Baker, 2006.
Sande, Ken. The Peacemaker. Grand Rapids: Baker, 2004.
Textbooks for further readings:
Adams, Jay. From Forgiven to Forgiving. New York: Calvary Press,

1994.
Asmal, Kader, Louise Asmal and Ronald Roberts. Reconciliation

Through Truth: A Reckoning of Apartheids Criminal Governance. Cape
Town: David Philip Publishers, 1996.
Barthel, Tara Klena and Judy Dabler. Peacemaking Women: Biblical

Hope for Resolving Conflict. Grand Rapids: Baker, 2005.
Bonhoeffer, Dietrich. Letters and Papers from Prison. New York: Collier,
1971.
De Gruchy, John W., et al. The Church Struggle in South Africa. Grand
Rapids: Eerdmans, 1979.
Kruis, John G. Quick Scripture Reference for Counseling. Grand Rapids:

Baker, 1988.
Powlison, David. Seeing With New Eyes. Phillipsburg: P&R Publishing,

2003.
Sande, Ken. Peacemaking for Families. Wheaton: Tyndale, 2002.
Tripp, Paul David. Instruments in the Redeemers Hands. Phillipsburg:

P&R Publishing, 2002.
Tripp, Paul David. War of Words. Phillipsburg: P&R Publishing, 2000.
Welch, Edward T. Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave. Phillipsburg:

P&R Publishing, 2001.
C O N F L I C T
A N D
Van Yperen, Jim. Making Peace. Chicago: Moody Press, 2002.
Volf, Miroslov. Exclusion and Embrace. Nashville: Abingdon Press,

1989.
Acknowledgments
Peacemaker Ministries would like to thank Rev. Dr. Karl Dortzbach for his
contributions to this curriculum. Dr. Dortzbach has served the church in Africa
since 1973, with the last fifteen years focused on conflict and reconciliation in Africa.
Several members of the Peacemaker Ministries staff have contributed heavily in the
design of this course: Chip Zimmer, Director of International Ministries, David
Schlachter, Director of the Institute for Christian Conciliation, and Molly Routson,
Assistant to the Director of International Ministries.
We are also indebted to Rev. Dr. Alfred Poirier for his insights on the theological
foundations of peacemaking that are addressed in Sessions 1 and 2. Dr. Poirier is the
pastor of Rocky Mountain Community Church in Billings, MT, chairman of the
Board of Peacemaker Ministries and author of The Peacemaking Pastor.
We are grateful to Overseas Council International (OCI), especially to OCI Vice
President of International Development Dr. Manfred Kohl, for providing us with the
opportunity to develop and to share this curriculum with seminaries within the OCI
network.
Finally, we would like to thank the founder and president of Peacemaker Ministries,
Ken Sande, who laid the groundwork for this curriculum by his study and teaching of
biblical conflict reconciliation.
There are many others who have donated their time and talents to this effort; we
thank our God on every remembrance of you," because of your partnership with us
as ambassadors of reconciliation. It is our prayer that through this curriculum,
educational institutions around the world will begin to train up peacemakers who
sow in peace [and] raise a harvest of righteousness (James 3:18), to the glory of our
great Peacemaker, Jesus Christ.
10
C O N F L I C T
A N D
Session
Biblical Theology of
Conflict: Knowing God
Daily Objectives
1.
Identify how peace is a basic part of Gods triune character.
2.
Analyze biblical texts to define, recognize and apply the meaning of

shalom as Gods purpose for mankind.
3.
Analyze and identify Gods use of conflict in the redemptive process.
Introduction to Course
1.
Overall course goals
2.
Requirements
INTRODUCTION TO
COURSE: 15 MIN.
Knowing Gods Glory in Reconciliation

Video Lecture: God Who is Peace
Watch the video. It not only introduces the course, but it gives the first lecture, which
is a study of Exodus chapters 32-34. Here, for the first time, God chooses to reveal
his character in an expanded manner. He does this in the context of a serious
conflict with his people because of their sin, and he chooses to emphasize those
aspects of his character that show that he is a peacemaking God. When Moses asks
God to show him his glory, God responds by showing Moses that his glory is the
glory of a reconciling God. Notice also how the speaker on the video connects the
glory that Moses witnesses to the glory of God as it is demonstrated in the person
and work of Christ.
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VIDEO: 30 MIN.
C O N F L I C T
SMALL GROUPS: 30 MIN.
WHOLE GROUP: 25 MIN.
A N D
Bible Search Small Groups

Divide into four groups (or multiples of four if the class is too large) and have each
group discuss and answer one of the following questions as they relate to Exodus 3234 (each of the four questions should be discussed and answered by at least one
group).
1.
How is the glory of Christ and the Father seen in peacemaking?

Define glory.
2.
How is the unity of God seen in peacemaking? Define unity.
3.
What is the role of law in peacemaking? Identify the place of law in

the Bible and today as it relates to peacemaking. How does Christ
fulfill and/or continue this law today?
4.
What is the role of grace in peacemaking? Identify the place of grace

in the Bible and today as it relates to peacemaking.
Whole Group Discussion

Have all groups report back to the main group. Note the ways God is seen in the
Bible and in peacemaking today as these are reported.
This exercise is to illustrate how God works in the world, and especially to show this
pattern in the Bible: all of Scripture follows the creation-conflict-redemption plotline.
By showing that this is Gods process for peace and that God redeems conflict,
students will understand that God not only ordains conflict, but that he works
through it in order to bring about redemption. We see this truth in individual stories
as well as in the story of the whole Bible (Col. 1:18-20).
Knowing Gods Purpose of Shalom

LECTURE: 10 MIN.

FOR EACH TEXT
(1 HR. TOTAL)
Lecture: Shalom
God created mankind to live in a state of shalom, and he is working to restore us to
this condition in our hearts, souls, minds, strength, and relationships (Deut. 6, Luke
10).
Divide into groups of 3-5 students.
Use the Knowing Gods Purpose worksheet in order to help the students to
discover the elements of shalom as the purpose of God in redemptive history and to
identify how those elements are demonstrated in the text.
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Discuss each of the following texts: Genesis 2, Luke 11:25-37 and Acts 2:1-47. Each
group should choose a recorder and analyze the way shalom is seen in the story. Have
them identify:
1.
Who is this story about? What are their relationships?
2.
What are the emotions or feelings that are expressed?
3.
What are the choices that are made and why are they made?
4.
What is the awareness or knowledge base of the parties as they make

their decisions?
5.
What do these narratives show about the character of God?
The results from these groups will be discussed in the next session.
Homework
Reading and Journaling
Have each person begin a journal, a course requirement. The student will add to the
journal every day and should include in their entries a paragraph on each of the
following:
Key ideas I learned today include
Something difficult about todays lesson was
One thing I want to do as result of todays lesson is
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HOMEWORK: 10 MIN.
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Video Lecture Notes:

Knowing Gods Glory in Reconciliation
Overview
As many of you recognize, peacemaking is a very practical subject to teach and to
practice. We face conflicts in our lives and our ministries on a regular basis, and
peacemaking provides a tool for us to resolve these conflicts constructively.
However, if we only see peacemaking as a tool for fixing problems, we miss two
important concerns in Gods call for us to be peacemakers. Rev. Dr. Alfred Poirier,
Chairman of the Board of Peacemaker Ministries, recently taught about these issues
to a gathering of seminary leaders in India. He showed, first, that our role as
peacemakers is deeply rooted in what the Bible says about God and, secondly, that
God calls us to reflect his character as a peacemaker in everything that we do.
Peacemaking is not just a tool but a way of lifea habit of beingfor Gods
people.
Peacemaking is part of the very nature of God and of how he works in this world.
Beginning in Genesis 3, conflict and reconciliation comprise the dramatic plotline of
Scripture. This drama culminates in the death and resurrection of Christ, whose work
accomplished the reconciliation of all things to himself (see Col. 1:19-20).
Exodus 32-34 gives a snapshot of how God works as a peacemaker in human
history. In this passage, Moses mediates for the people of Israel, whose idolatry has
deeply offended God. They are in danger of losing the security of Gods presence or
of being consumed by his wrath, but Moses eventually receives assurance that God
will continue to dwell graciously with his people.
Moses also asks of God, Now show me your glory (Ex. 33:18), so that he will
know how God wants him to lead the stiff-necked Israelites. The Lords response
to Moses is so significant for Israels relationship with God that it is repeated
throughout Scripture (see, for example, Neh. 9:17; Ps. 86:15; Joel 2:13). God tells
Moses that he is:
The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God,
slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining
love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and
sin (Ex. 34:6-7a).
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Although God could have revealed any of his attributes to Moseshis justice, his
immutability, his powerhe chooses to emphasize his mercy. God shows Moses
that his glory is the glory of a reconciling God.
The Gospel of John picks up on these Exodus themes of Gods glory, his grace, and
his presence among his people. They are climactically demonstrated in Christ, who
made his dwelling among us [and] came from the Father full of grace and truth
(John 1:14). In Jesus life, death, and resurrection, God ultimately reveals himself as a
peacemaking God. Furthermore, Christ tells his followers that we will be recognized
as Gods children when we imitate Gods character in reconciliation (Matt. 5:9; John
13:35; 17:23).
Throughout Scripture, God calls his people to be peacemakers in their very being, and
not to regard peacemaking as just a tool for occasional use. This way of
understanding Scripture has important implications for peacemaking around the
world.
First of all, we realize that the ministry of peacemaking touches the very heart of
Gods work in this world. Peacemaker Ministries was founded in order to facilitate
the reconciliation of legal conflicts in the United States, but now we see peacemakers
around the world applying Gods Word to difficult conflicts in families, churches,
and even in nations. It is often challenging to apply Scripture when cultural traditions
resist Gods peacemaking process, but knowing that God delights to show his glory
in reconciliation encourages us to persevere in difficult situations.
We have also seen that conflict and resolution are the very story of Scripture. There
are many cultures that will appreciate this way of reading the Bible because they
communicate primarily through storytelling rather than lecture. While an audience in
the United States might enjoy learning about Gods peacemaking character through
Pauls teaching in Romans 5:1-11 or 2 Corinthians 5:18-20, an audience in another
culture might learn this lesson more effectively by emphasizing the story of how God
reveals his peacemaking character to Moses in Exodus 32-34. These are two
perspectives on the same Word of God, and together they provide us with
complementary ways to teach peacemaking around the world.
What all of this means is that the essential identity of the Christian - whatever the
capacity in which he or she is servingis ambassador of reconciliation (2 Cor.
5:18-20). God calls us to be his ambassadors of peace wherever he has placed us,
including our work, families, and communities. Seminaries are not just training
grounds for pastors, teachers, and evangelists, but for peacemakers. Christian
lawyers, businessmen, and other professions are also peacemakers, with an important
role in Gods work of reconciliation.
Wherever you are and however you serve God, we encourage you to begin reading
your Bible with an eye for Gods peacemaking character and to imitate his character
as the divine Peacemaker. Remember, peacemaking is not simply a tool for fixing
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problems, but it is a habit of being, a way of reflecting who we are in Christ in all of
our relationships.
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Lecture Notes: Shalom

Introduction
Only a few Bible narratives illustrate how Gods people experience the shalom, or
salvation, that God has designed. We will study several of these texts in small groups,
but first we will take an overview.
Gods purposes for peace are evident in how the state of glory is characterized by
peace. In Isaiah 2:4 we find that in the day of the Lord, the Lord will settle our
disputes. And with the coming of the Messiah, Isaiah says, Of the increase of his
government and peace there will be no end (Isa. 9:7).
The Greek renders shalom salvation, as well as peace.
Shalom is translated peace in the R.V. It describes (a) harmonious relationships
between men, Matt. 10:34; Rom. 14:19; (b) between nations, Luke 14:32; Acts 12:20;
Rev. 6:4; (c) friendliness, Acts 15:33; 1 Cor. 16:11; Heb. 11:31; (d) freedom from
molestation Luke 11:21; 19:42; Acts 9:31 (R.V., peace, A.V., rest); 16:36; (e) order,
in the state, Acts 24:2 (R.V., peace, A.V., quietness); in the churches, 1 Cor. 14:33;
(f) the harmonized relationships between God and man, accomplished through the
gospel, Acts 10:36; Eph. 2:17; (g) the sense of rest and contentment consequent
thereon, Matt. 10:13; Mark 5:34; Luke 1:79; 2:29; John 14:27; Rom. 1:7; 3:17; 8:6; in
certain passages this idea is not distinguishable from the last, Rom. 5:1 (New Bible
Dictionary, 1962).
The Greek word for peace normally means simply the absence of war or conflict. In
the New Testament, however, the word also acquires much of the range of shalom
and some new, specifically Christian understandings. Throughout the various Old
Testament uses of peace as material well-being, righteousness, and as having its
source in God, the emphasis tends to be relational: peace exists between people or
between people and God. The idea of peace as individual spiritual peace with God or
internal peace of mind is not an Old Testament notion.
Whether as salvation, peace, or shalom the idea seems to remain the same: a
relationship between God and his people that is reflected in relationships between
people who bring Gods righteous reign over all areas of human and natural life.
Shalom occurs when people who are in a right relationship with God and each other, enjoy and share
together the resources of the earth in ways that show Christ is Lord of all creation. It is this shalom
that God purposes for mankind. When we love God as we ought, we enjoy for
ourselves the shalom of God. As individuals however, we are only part of that shalom
of God. It extends beyond us and includes the community of those who love God.
This makes the church today the primary expression of Gods shalom.
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Deuteronomy 6:4 describes this blessing in the two basic social building blocks of
Scripture1) the family in the context of 2), the family of God. It uses the same five
concepts of heart, soul, mind (teaching), physical (strength), and social connections
(stay or go) that are used and applied in the Gospels (Mark 12:28; Luke 10:27). With
each concept, loving God is paired with a blessing. Loving with all the heart
(choosing) has the blessing/warning of verses 12, 14, 17, 18. Loving with the soul
(emotion) brings the blessing/warning of verse 11 (you eat and are full), verse 13
(fear God), verse 15 (lest the anger of God), verse18 (go well with you), verse
25 (our righteousness, mercy). Loving with all strength brings physical blessings of
verses 10, 11, 18. Loving God with all the mind is named in the Gospels that cite
this text, although this text describes rather than specifically says, Love God. This
is found in verse 6 (words on your heart), verse 7 (teach them), verse 8 (bind
them) and verse 9 (write them). Again the summary of the law given in the
Gospels, love your neighbor as yourself, is illustrated in this text as it refers to the
social community of the family in the midst of its community (verses 7, 9, 10). This
primary social environment of shalom is constantly being watched by an amazed
world (verses 14, 21).
In Luke 10, the Hebrew ruler had asked the question, What must I do to inherit
eternal life? Although his own answer came from the correct OT text, the story that
Jesus told him shows that he had missed both the meaning and the application of the
answer; namely that eternal life (or salvation, or shalom), was being emotionally,
socially, volitionally, physically and mentally in right relationships with God, man, and
the earth. Luke 10:27 repeats the Deuteronomy passage in one verse, Love the Lord
your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and
with all your mind; and, Love your neighbor as yourself. This is the clearest text that
spells out the breadth of meaning of shalom in the words it uses. Heart () is the
the centre and seat of spiritual life, the fountain and seat of the thoughts, passions,
desires, appetites, affections, purposes, endeavors or simply the volition. Soul
() is the seat of the feelings, desires, affections, aversions, or emotions.
Strength (s) or ability, force, strength, might, is all that is physical. Mind
(:) is the understanding and mental capacity. Neighbor () is any
other human, irrespective of race or religion, with whom we live, and is the
reflection of our social dimension (definitions from Strongs, 1995).
The promises of shalom are woven throughout the fabric of Scripture. Jeremiah 30
describes the shalom God promises. In John 4 the story of the Samaritan woman does
not use the word shalom, but narrates both the absence of shalom, and then its
restoration not only in the life of the woman, but in the village of Sychar. The
narrative texts of Luke 10 and John 4 will be studied again later in the course (See
Sessions 9, 10).
The following worksheet is based upon four of the five Greek words found in Luke
10, which is the reference to and quotation from the Deuteronomy 6:1-9 passage (the
questions do not deal with the physical element of shalom, although it is present in
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each text). The small group exercise which follows this lecture intends to help
students discover the biblical fabric that weaves together the five elements of
shalom throughout Scripture. Shalom then is seen as Gods creation goal and calling for
mankind. It can only be reached as God redemptively transforms conflict from sin
into righteousness through his grace. These texts illustrate the shalom of creation
before the fall, Jesus parable illustrating personal shalom-building, and the building of
shalom in the New Testament church community.
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Knowing Gods Purpose Worksheet

Genesis 2
Luke 10:25-37
Acts 2:1-47
Who is the story

about? What are
their relationships?
What are the emotions
or feelings that bind
or separate?
What are the choices
made and why are
they made?
What was necessary
for the people to
know as they made
decisions?
How do these
narratives reveal the
character of God?
Brief Suggestions for Answers for Genesis 2 and Luke 10
Genesis 2
1. God, man, and creation in perfect joyful harmony;
2.
Trust, care, love;
3.
Obedience, opportunity, fulfillment;
4.
Command of God, the creatures of God, the purpose of God;
5.
Gracious, glorious, wise.
Luke 10:25-37
1. Religious leaders who see themselves as self-sufficient and self-
righteous; the Samaritan as a type of Christ who is compassionate

and merciful; the wounded man as a type of person wounded by sin.
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2.
Pride and self-righteousness keep some in their prejudice and the

love and compassion of the Samaritan causes him to embrace an
enemy.
3.
Self-justification and legalistic righteousness bring disengagement by

some, but a sense of mercy causes the Samaritan to give all he has.
4.
A knowledge of basic physical and emotional care was needed, as

well as an understanding of how to apply Gods commands.
5.
God is compassionate, puts his name on those who have not loved
him, is gentle with those who are stubborn, and seeks reconciliation
in brokenness.
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Session
Biblical Theology of
Conflict: Redemption
Daily Objectives
1.
Identify from biblical narratives the character and demonstration of

shalom.
2.
Apply the principle of triumph in redemptive conflict to biblical

texts and to the students own life experiences.
3.
Identify levels of conflict and how they fit into Gods redemptive
purposes.

Start with a review of the previous sessions exercise: Gods Purpose of Peace.
As a whole group, gather the reports of the small groups. Write on the board large
columns for each of the texts: Genesis 2, Luke 11:25-37, and Acts 2:1-47.
Summarize in a word or phrase the groups responses to the questions:
1.
Who is this story about? What are their relationships?
2.
What are the emotions or feelings that are expressed?
3.
What are the choices that are made and why are they made?
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4.
What is the awareness or knowledge base of the parties as they make

their decisions?
5.
What do these narratives reveal about the character of God?
Gods Process for Peace

LECTURE: 15 MIN.
Lecture: Gods Process for Peace

Redemption as the triumph of conflict.

For the first ten (10) minutes, have each person individually identify a biblical narrative
text that illustrates the principle, conflict brings redemption.
During the last twenty (20) minutes, divide into groups of three and have each person
share his text in his respective group. Then, have the group members identify at least
one contemporary conflict that illustrates or shares the theme of a biblical text.
JOURNALING: 20 MIN.

Discuss the contemporary illustrations of conflict that brings redemption. Draw out
the difference between conflict that needs redemption and conflict that brings
redemption. This understanding will prepare students for a deeper understanding of
conflict and the Slippery Slope.
Journaling
Conflict exists at various levels in our lives: personal, family, group, and community.
Have each person do a journal worksheet in which he identifies various levels of
conflict in his life and how it might be redeemed. The final sentence of each story of
conflict should indicate his role in the conflict.
Include a paragraph describing one conflict on each of the following levels: personal,
family, church (group), and ethnic (community).
Note: This journal will be added to on subsequent days as the student has more
reflections or as the conflict changes. It will be helpful if the journal is in a format
where either pages can be added (loose-leaf) or a bound exercise booklet where empty
pages separate each section.
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The idea of describing various levels of conflict (personal, family, group, and community) is to
help the student begin to analyze the various types of conflict, as well as the different roles he has
in those conflicts. Sessions 3-6 will help students focus on individual conflict.
Sessions 6-8 will help them gain skills in coaching others (personal and group
conflicts are both helped by coaching), and sessions 9-10 will help them focus on
new roles and interventions in their church which will impact group and
community conflict. This journaling process will help both the student and teacher
to track the progress of learning and applying knowledge.
Accountability Groups
Have students meet in accountability groups of two (2).
An accountability group should be self-selected and should be with another person with
whom they will be comfortable speaking of deep things and asking hard questions.
ACCOUNTABILITY
GROUPS: 30 MIN.
This accountability partner will be used again throughout the course.

In the accountability groups, both parties should share and talk about the difficulties of
their role in at least two levels of conflict.
Small Group Discussion
In groups of four (two accountability groups):
1.
Discuss the principles of how conflict and redemption may be seen in

each level of conflict. (See note above.)
2.
Summarize Gods redemptive purpose for that level of relationship.
3.
Summarize the main reasons for conflict in that level of relationship
Homework
Reading and Journaling
Remind participants to continue reading The Peacemaker.
Ask students to add to their journals in each level of conflict:
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HOMEWORK: 5 MIN.
C O N F L I C T
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Lecture Notes:
Introduction
God ordains conflict for his redemptive purposes of peace. When we think about
conflicts in which we are involved or have been involved, our natural inclination is to
reject this perspective on conflict. However, James 1:2-5 indicates that trials like
conflict should bring us joy; and we know from Romans 5:3 - 4 that it is the crucible of
change.
Redemptive history begins with conflict. Following Adams sin, the Lord curses
the serpent, declaring, I will put enmity between you and the woman (Gen.
3:15). It is the Lord who puts enmity between the sons of God and the sons of the
devil (see 1 John 3:7-10).
Beginning in Genesis 3, conflict is the very drama of biblical history. The serpent
lies and accuses God of keeping Eve from great goodfrom being like God. Cain
kills his brother Abel. Jacobs sons betray their brother Joseph. The children of
Israel grumble against Moses and against God, imputing evil motives to both.
Moses, in response, is tempted to resign his office rather than to persevere in
leading the people in the wilderness. David, hunted and hounded by Saul, faces
the delectable temptation to take revenge.
And what about great Davids greater SonJesus our Lord? Conflict followed
him all the days of his life. If there is ever a story to tell of fear, hatred, lust,
falsehood, greed, and the systemic nature of sin and injustice, it is the story of the
life of Jesus leading to his crucifixion. It is through Christs crucifixion that all
conflict is ultimately and climactically redeemed (Col. 1:19-20). When we learn to
view our own conflicts and identity through the peace that Christ secured on the
cross, we can begin to see how God redeems, or transforms, these frustrating
and seemingly hopeless situations.
James, in dealing with various conflicts, writes, Consider it pure joy, my brothers,
whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your
faith develops perseverance (James 1:23, italics added). Joyful is certainly not
how we typically view conflict. But if we are to be God-ward in our thinking, then
we must learn to see conflict through Gods eyes, ever aware of how he is using it
to mature us and strengthen us in our faith.
God uses people as a part of His incarnational plan to deal with the brokenness of
life. Gods people then become the instruments of peace-making. The people of
God become the primary relationship paradigm of Scripture: all of history moves
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toward the restoration of people to the purpose for which God created usto live through Christ
in harmony with him and with our fellow man. The understanding of belonging to God
and to His kingdom of shalom provides our primary:
1.
Identity (Eph 2:11-22).
2.
Adoption and belonging as sons (Rom. 8:1532; Gal. 3:154:7; Eph.

1:36; Heb. 2:118; 12:114; 1 John 3:13).
3.
Community through which peacemaking is done, even when it seems

more destructive than redemptive. Consider the community paradigm
of Moses seeking God to go with the whole community, not just with
him (Ex. 33:7-11).
Mission and vision for life. This pertains to how we practically bear this
peace among Gods people and how Gods people become conduits of
peace in their spheres of influence like family, church, and community.
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Session
The Glory of God

in Conflict
We spent the first two sessions studying the theological and
biblical foundations for peacemaking, learning that
peacemaking is part of the very nature and purpose of God.
We saw that God designed us to live in shalom; however, this
shalom is often far from the reality of our life experiences.
Sessions 3-6 are designed to give students the vision and skills
for bringing shalom into their personal relationships, equipping
them to reflect Gods glory by being peacemakers with their
friends and family.
Daily Objectives
1.
Develop a transformed understanding of conflict as part of the way

God works in history.
2.
Understand and begin to put personal conflicts within Gods story and
the way he works in history.
3.
Begin to identify new opportunities for transformation that conflicts

provide.
4.
Be able to analyze a conflict and identify what responses are occurring

according to the Slippery Slope.
See chapters 1-3 of The Peacemaker.
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Understanding Conflict
As a whole class, elicit examples of conflict in family, church and friends.
The goal of this exercise is to engage the students in identifying the lack of shalom in
their relationships, in order to recognize the applicability of this course in their lives and
to see their conflicts in the context of Gods redemptive purposes.
For two or three minutes, have the class work in pairs where they are seated to define
conflict. Then elicit a definition of conflict from the whole group.
(For a general definition and explanation of conflict, see The Peacemaker on pages 2931.)
Continue to facilitate the entire class in doing a word association of:
LECTURE: 10 MIN.
SMALL GROUP
EXERCISE: 30 MIN.
Conflict is like
Reconciliation is like
Lecture: What Causes Conflict

Tell the story of Joshua 22:10-34. Identify the causes of conflict, the responses, and the
glory of God in it.
Small Group Exercise (choose this or the next exercise)
For the first twenty (20) minutes, working in groups of 3, have each person share
examples of conflict in his own experience and identify core causes.
During the last ten (10) minutes, elicit the main reasons for conflict from the whole
group.
Note: If the students have trouble identifying causes of their conflicts, The Peacemaker
lists four typical causes of conflict on page 30. In addition to the outward catalysts for
conflict, students may begin to identify the fact that conflict begins with them, in their
hearts. This will be addressed more fully in the material found in Session 4 of this
syllabus, and it is discussed on pages 100-116 of The Peacemaker.
Small Group Exercise (choose this or the previous exercise)
Divide class into small groups to discuss the following passages:
1.
Acts 15:36-41;
2.
1 Corinthians 10:14-31;
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3.
Genesis 13:1-12;
4.
James 4:1-3.
For each text, identify causes of the conflict, both sinful and not. Note also the result
of the various ways that the characters responded to conflict.
Lecture: Four Perspectives on Conflict
This lecture is intended to communicate an overview of the next four class sessions
and to give the students guidelines for writing case studies, which they will use for
analysis and discussion throughout the rest of the course.
LECTURE: 10 MIN.
Opportunities in Conflict
Group Exercise
For the first fifteen (15) minutes, group the class into sets of two accountability groups
and have each person tell a case where conflict might provide opportunity for
transformation.
GROUP EXERCISE:
30 MIN.
In the last fifteen (15) minutes, debrief in the whole group by summarizing the ways
conflict can help me and others to be more like Christ (1 Cor. 10:31-11:1). It may be
helpful to discuss the cases with a focus on identifying what opportunities for helping
and for growing were presentwhether or not they were taken.
Lecture: Analyzing Conflict through the Slippery Slope

Narrate the story of Abrams conflict with Lot over the land in Genesis 13-15, drawing
out the various stages through which the conflict progressed.
Small Group Exercise

Separate the class into small groups of no more than five (5) and no less than three (3)
students per group.
Without indicating the conflict response type, write the following citations on a white board,
arranged in an arch like the Slippery Slope (see p. 22 of The Peacemaker; when multiple
texts are provided for a conflict response, choose as many as will be helpful to
understand that way of responding to conflict):
Denial: 1 Samuel 3:10-14 (Eli and the sin of his sons).
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LECTURE: 10 MIN.
SMALL GROUP
EXERCISE: 15 MIN.
C O N F L I C T
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Flight: Acts 8:1 (Christian churchs response to persecution) and Jonah 1:13 (Jonah flees from the Lord).
Suicide: Matthew 27:3-10 (Judas commits suicide).
Overlook: Genesis 45:1-15 (Joseph forgives his brothers for selling him
into slavery) or 1 Samuel 24:1-15 (David spares Sauls life). See also
Proverbs 19:11.
Discussion: John 21:15-19 (Jesus restores Peter). Note: The Peacemaker

uses the word reconciliation rather than discussion. Either word is
appropriate since one more describes the process and the other the
outcome. (See page 25 of The Peacemaker.)
Negotiation: Daniel 1:8-16 (Daniels response to the command to eat

unclean food).
Mediation: 1 Samuel 25 (Abigail appeals to David on Nabals behalf).
Arbitration: 1 Corinthians 6:1-9 (Pauls command for dealing with lawsuits

in the church) or Acts 15:1-35 (Early church elders settle the matter of
Gentile believers).
Accountability: Philippians 4:2-3 (Church assistance for a dispute between

women) or 1 Corinthians 5:1-13 (Pauls commands for the Corinthian
church to deal with an unrepentant sinner). See also Matthew 18:17-20.
Litigation: Acts 8:3 (Saul persecutes the Christian Church) or Acts 25:1-12
(Jews bring charges against Paul before Festus).
Assault: Acts 6:8-15 (Seizing and accusing Stephen)
Murder: Genesis 4:1-12 (Cain kills his brother Abel) or Exodus 1:15-22
(Pharaoh kills baby boys in Egypt)
Depending on the size of the class, assign one or two of the texts to each group.
Have the groups identify the cause of the conflict and the response in each of these
texts.

As groups report on the conflict response in each biblical text, write it under the
citation on the white board.
Emphasize the Slippery Slope terms and explain to the students that the Slippery Slope is
a helpful way to identify how we and others are responding to a particular conflict.
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Such insights help us all to see how God wants us to respond to various conflicts,
which we will begin studying in the next session.
Personal Reflection
On a 3 X 5 card, have each person identify:
1.
A personal conflict;
2.
How this conflict is an opportunity to show Gods glory;
3.
How he can serve and help the other party; and
4.
How he can grow to be more Christ-like.
PERSONAL REFLECTION:
5 MIN.
The instructor will summarize these opportunities in the next class session.
Homework
Case Study
Have each person write a one-page case study of a personal conflict. The case study
should include:
1.
The beginning and development of the conflict (including all

individuals involved);
2.
The responses to the conflict; and
3.
A suggestion about how the conflict provides opportunities for

transformation and redemption.
Journaling
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HOMEWORK: 5 MIN.
C O N F L I C T
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Lecture Notes:
The Four Perspectives on Conflict
Objectives
1. Introduce sessions 3-6 of the curriculum.
2.
Create an expectation that conflict has a hopeful and redemptive side.
3.
Outline and illustrate what makes a good case study for analysis.
Introduction
Reconciliation is like a chair with four legs. If any one of the legs is broken or missing
the chair is not stable, but if it is stable it becomes a wonderful resting place for the
weary traveler of life!
Introduce Sessions 3-6

Session 3: See God and Conflict in a New Way
Gods plan of redemption is that in the conflict with sin, he will be victorious.
Gods plan of redemption is not about personal salvation only, but that individual
salvation will bring shalom to the society and world around us.
Gods plan of redemption means that I must begin with myself, help others, and
always bring glory to God.
(Session 3 corresponds to chapters 1-3 of The Peacemaker, which includes discussion on
the Slippery Slope, the three opportunities in conflict, and 1 Corinthians 10:31.)
Session 4: See Myself in a New Way
My heart tells me that in conflict I am usually right and others are wrong. Yet, if I
understand that my heart is deceitful, then my understanding of conflict is wrong.
Therefore I must see that conflict transformation begins when I see my own selfdeceptions and failures and name them as God doessin.
If conflict transformation starts with me, then I must identify what it is in the conflict
that captures my heart more than my love for God. The Bible calls this idolatry.
(Session 4 corresponds to chapters 4-6 of The Peacemaker, which includes discussion of
idolatry and the 7As of Confession.)
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Session 5: See Others in a New Way

My self-righteousness tells me that I can change others, and if I could then the conflict
might be resolved.
But when I have seen that I am not righteous, and that it is God who brings change,
then I can see my role as being an instrument in Gods hand to bring transformation,
or redemption.
When I see others in conflict as I have seen myself, I know that they have a story and
struggles, just like I do.
Sometimes conflict is more than just inter-personal. When it involves injustice against
others, then I have an obligation to help shine the light of Gods truth into the
darkness.
Helping others will require sharpening, or developing my negotiation skills.
(Session 5 corresponds to chapters 7-9 of The Peacemaker.)
Session 6: See Relationships in a New Way
My reconciled relationship with God through Christs blood brings about a new
relationship of joy and hope, not just the absence of additional conflict.
Reconciliation is never just stopping conflict. It is about the restoration of healthy
relationships of trust and mutuality.
The relationships that should most demonstrate Gods work of redemption in me are
the ones with whom I am closestmy family, then my church.
(Session 6 corresponds to chapters 9-12 of The Peacemaker)
Guidelines for a Case Study

Throughout the whole course, we will be using case studies in order to evaluate and
deepen our understanding of these four perspectives on conflict.
What is a Case Study and Why Use Case Studies?
Case studies are brief descriptions of a conflict that include the key facts needed in
order to discuss the conflicted situation. Case studies are a vehicle for application
where we learn to make real the concepts that we are learning.
Because case studies are most effective when they come from life experiences that are
close to those of the students, we want the case studies in the course to emerge from
the experiences of the students. Encourage the students to write their case studies in
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such a way that listeners will be challenged to ask thoughtful questions about the
situation and the parties motives. A case study that immediately presents all of the
facts and the underlying causes is not reflective of a real-life situation, so it is not
optimal for learning how to deal with conflict.
Guidelines for Creating a Case Study
1. Identify the parties in the conflict.
2.
Give clues as to the causes of the conflict.
3.
Describe the development of the conflict.
4.
Describe how each party responded in the conflict.
5.
Possibly identify the outcomes of the conflict (good and/or bad).
6.
Possibly identify the changes that took place to bring change in the
conflict.
7.
Be careful with confidentiality issues!
Note: Confidentiality is an important consideration when writing a case study.

Encourage the students to change names and key facts in the story; even if they are the
primary party to the conflict and they do not mind telling the class about it, they should
still be sure to change the names of the other parties as well as all identifying information.
Case studies are valuable tools for analyzing a conflict, but we never want to do so at
the expense of embarrassing or angering our associates. As with all Christian speech,
the standard for the language of a case study is Ephesians 4:29, Let no unwholesome
talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up
according to their needs, that it may benefit (literally: give grace to) those who listen.
Sample Case Studies
Below are two sample case studies that were developed and used in East Africa. If you
are able to develop a case study from your area it would be best to substitute it. These
are given as samples of useful case studies.
Sample Case Study #1: Conflict in the Womens Ministry
The womens group in a church in Kenya decided to provide flowers for Sunday
worship. Group members took turns buying flowers and arranging them around the
altar. As time passed, however, the woman whose turn it was to provide flowers
occasionally forgot to do so.
Sheila, a member of the womens group, decided to remedy this by purchasing some
plastic flowers to keep in reserve. If the person in charge forgot to purchase fresh
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flowers for Sunday worship, Sheila would retrieve the plastic flowers from a storage
room and use them to decorate.
One day, Sheila learned from a friend that another member of their group, whose
name was Joyce, had taken the plastic flowers from the storeroom and burned them.
Sheila was outraged.
How could she do such a thing? Sheila asked. Why didnt she speak with me?
Joyce told me she had a vision, the friend replied. She said that Jesus appeared to
her and told her that the reason our church is not growing is because we dishonor him
with plastic flowers. He told her to get rid of them. So, she took them and burned
them.
At the next meeting of the womens group, Sheila spoke about the flowers and,
without accusing Joyce directly, said that the group needed to do something about
what had happened. The leaders discussed the situation among themselves, but could
not decide how best to respond. Instead, they took the matter to the pastor and asked
him to deal with it.
The pastor said he would look into things, but a year passed and he did nothing. At the
end of a year, he resigned to accept a new appointment. In the meantime, the womens
group divided into two hostile camps. Some support Joyce, believing that Jesus spoke
directly to her. Others support Sheila, believing that Joyce should not have acted on her
own. The conflict has spread to family members and others in the congregation.
In the absence of a pastor, the Elders provide day to day leadership and fulfill
preaching duties. They believe this is a matter for the womens group to resolve. The
women, on the other hand, believe that events are beyond their control and want the
elders to decide what should happen.
Sample Case Study #2: A Christian Husband is Beating His Wife
William and Patricia are husband and wife and belong to a church in Kenya. They have
been married for eleven years and have two children, Robert who is 10 and Cynthia
who is 8.
One Sunday, Patricia announced that she had some errands to run and would have to
join the family at church later. Ill be there before the worship service begins, she
assured William. William and the children caught a bus to take them to church. But,
when the service began, Patricia had not arrived.
Patricia decided to go to a beauty salon to have her hair styled. While there, she also
had her nails done and, on the way home, she went by a shop and bought a new dress.
I need to look nice, she told herself, and, besides, I havent spent money on myself
in a long time. She never made it to church.
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When his wife didnt appear, William became angry, What is that woman up to this
time? he asked himself. After the service, a couple of folks asked him where Patricia
was. How should I know? he replied. He was not in a good mood as he and the
children returned home.
When they arrived at the house, Joyce was not there. She returned about a half hour
later with some groceries in hand, still in her new dress and with her hair attractively
styled. She said nothing to William, or to their children, but went directly to the kitchen
and began preparing dinner.
William got up from his chair and went into the kitchen. Why werent you in church?
he demanded. Joyce said nothing, continuing to work on the meal.
Im asking you a question, he said, his voice rising. Joyce looked up at him and said,
I decided to do some shopping instead. William slapped her face with the back of his
hand. While she was off-balance from the blow, he hit her in the stomach with his fist.
Patricia fell to the floor, screaming. William began to kick her. The two children ran to
their mother and begged William to leave her alone. Still in a rage, William went into
the other room.
James and Sylvia live two houses away. They attend the same church as William and
Patricia and heard the whole episode. This was not the first time that William had
beaten his wife. James knows that something needs to be done, but is not certain what
to do. He is sure that if he tries to discuss things with William, he will bring great
shame on him and William will refuse to speak further. James is equally certain that the
pastor and leadership of their church will experience the same outcome if they
approach William.
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Session
Seeing My Heart at
the Center of Conflict
Daily Objectives
1.
Analyze conflict and identify heart issues or idols.
2.
Differentiate between an idol and an interest.
3.
Identify what makes a helpful confession.
4.
Identify things in my own conflict management and relationships for

which I need to repent.
5.
Understand and believe how the grace of God in Christthe gospel

enables and empowers repentance and confession.
Idols of the Heart

Lecture: Recognizing the Idols of Our Hearts
Using the story of David and Bathsheba, this lecture examines the progression of an
idol, when choices are driven by a wrong love.
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LECTURE: 15 MIN.
C O N F L I C T
SMALL GROUP
EXERCISES: 30 MIN.
A N D
Small Group Exercises

The story of David and Bathesheba shows how individuals create conflict when they
make idols of their desires. As it did for David, individual sin often affects many
people. In this exercise the class will look at the collective impact of individual sin. In
the first fifteen (15) minutes, have small groups of four (4), identify and list some of the
heart idols that affect the church and our society. Ask them to note what Gods Word
says about those idolsspecifically, what is the cure for them?
Note: Guide the students away from using this as a time to judge what they
dont like about their church or society, but to see how they have adopted
these values (i.e. idols) of their society and how God calls them to change.
Examples of these idols might be an elevated sense of self or group-worth
money, reputation, or even something good, like family or a success in
business or church ministry.
For the last fifteen (15) minutes, have the small groups discuss the idols and interests in
two case studies written by students for the Session 3 assignment. (They should spend
ten minutes on each case.) Be sure to draw out the difference between interests and
interests which become idols. This exercise will help prepare for the lecture.
SELF-EVALUATION:
30 MIN.
Self-Evaluation
Having identified the idols of their larger communities, ask the students to begin
thinking in terms of their own hearts.
Have each student work individually to complete the Self-Evaluation of Idols worksheet.
Encourage them to be honest with God and themselves as they try to identify where
they have made their fears and desires more important than God.
Remind them that we learned in session one that God loves to reconcile with us when
we have sinned against him (1 John 1:9).
Repentance
LECTURE: 15 MIN.
Lecture: Repentance Versus Regret

Repentance is often confused with regret and can be a reason that people remain in
conflict. True repentance and the confession of our sins lead to life, to reconciliation
with God, and to reconciliation with other people.
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Assign students to small groups of four or five students and give each group one of the
following case studies from Scripture:
1.
Matthew 18:21-35, the parable of the unmerciful servant.
2.
Matthew 27:1-5, the story of Judas hanging himself.
3.
1 Corinthians 11:17-34, instructions for celebrating the Lords Supper.
4.
1 Samuel 24:1-13, the story of David sparing Sauls life.
5.
1 Samuel 26:12-27:1, when David again spares Sauls life.
SMALL GROUP
EXERCISE: 30 MIN.
Have each group prepare a response to the question: How does this story illustrate
repentance vs. regret?
In addition, have each group suggest a different ending to the story that would reflect
true repentance and healing.
Confession that Brings Freedom and Heals

Repentance sets the stage for and is expressed in confession to God and to those
whom we have wronged. (See chapter 6 of The Peacemaker.)
In small groups of 3-4 students, discuss a scenario where someone has offended you
and apologized. Identify what would they would do and say in order to make an
effective apology.

Debrief in the whole group what comprises an effective apology. Note: the summary
should be similar to the 7As of Confession in The Peacemaker.
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SMALL GROUP: 30 MIN.
C O N F L I C T
A N D
Homework
HOMEWORK: 5 MIN.
Barriers to Confession
In a two-page paper, identify cultural barriers to confession and describe what can be
done to overcome these barriers.
Journaling
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Lecture Notes:
Recognizing the Idols of our Hearts
Objectives
1. Explain how a desire can progress to become an idol.
2.
Illustrate this progression.
3.
Challenge the learner to evaluate their own desires in a conflict, and

the desires of others.
Introduction
Use the story of David and Bathsheba. (See the Session 7 lecture and the worksheet on
idols of the heart to better understand the progression of idolatry in this story)
The Problem: Idolatry

What is a desire?
Something that I want;
Something that someone else wants; and/or
Something that God wants for me. It is a good thing to desire what God
intends, but I may desire it in the wrong time, place or circumstance.
What happens to desires?
They may grow to be demands.
Demands grow to be controlling.
Anything that controls us has become our god.
An idol is anything apart from God that we depend on to be happy, fulfilled, or

secure. In biblical terms, it is something other than God that we set our heart on (Luke
12:29; 1 Cor. 10:19), that motivates us (1 Cor. 4:5); that masters and rules us (Ps.
119:133; Eph. 5:5), or that we trust, fear, or serve (Isa. 42:17; Matt. 6:24; Luke 12:4-5)
Given its controlling effect on our lives, an idol can also be referred to as a false
god or a functional god (The Peacemaker, 104).
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The Progression of an Idol

James says conflict starts not with another person, but with me. Conflict begins or is
aggravated in the heart. Sinful desires (desires that battle within you) lead to sinful
words and actions. The heart of all human conflict is summarized in James 4:1-3:
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Dont they come from your
desires that battle within you? You want something but dont get it. You
quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you
ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives that you may
spend what you get on your pleasures.
Sinful desires are idolatrous desires. An idol is something that rules our heart,
standing in the place of God. An idol is often detected when our desire has grown
into a consuming demand. As we pursue these desires, a progression into sin is
often apparent. If we ignore this progression, our conflicts worsenfor ourselves,
for others, and especially for our relationship to God (see 1 John 1:8, 10).
This progression of an idol is illustrated in the story of David and Bathsheba.
The Slippery Slope of Idolatry
I desireConflict often begins with a desire. Some of these desires
are not wrong, they are desires for good things. Some desires,
however, are inherently wrong. But what happens when these desires
go unmet?
I demandWhen our desires are seen as necessary for our

fulfillment and happiness, they are elevated to a demand. We justify or
legitimize these desires with reasons for why we deserve to have these
desires met. What happens when our demands go unmet?
I judgeWhen our demands go unsatisfied, we criticize and

condemn others for not fulfilling our needs. We begin to feel superior
to others, or bitter and resentful toward them. What happens when
our hearts begin to fill with condemnation, bitterness, or resentment?
I punishIntentionally or unintentionally, we often punish those

who do not meet our expectations or who do not bow to our idols.
Sharp words, imposing guilt or shame, or even physical attack are
warnings that idols are ruling our hearts, rather than God and his love.
Applying Davids Truth and James Insight

In every conflict there are intereststhings that may be right and important. In every
conflict those interests have risen to a level of desire.
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In most conflicts the desires have risen to the level of demands.

Think about a conflict you are in. Can you identify those rising levels?
We must understand and identify everyones interests. We may expect them to appear
as desires, and we should anticipate that they might be demands.
Demands show that there are idols in the heart.
Conclusion
There is a cure for an idolatrous heart. We examine idols in order to replace them with
true worship of God. (See pages 109-116 of The Peacemaker.)
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Self-Evaluation of Idols of the Heart

Identify a conflict that you have had in the past or are currently in:
List the emotions that you felt (e.g., anger, bitterness, pride, jealousy, defensiveness,
judgmental attitude, fear, etc.):
Identify your fears:

What did you want to preserve or avoid?
What or whom did you fear the most in this situation?
Identify your cravings:

What did you find yourself thinking about much of the time?
When a desire or expectation was not met, describe your feelings: Did you
feel frustration, resentment, bitterness or anger? What was the unmet
expectation?
Identify your judgments:

What means did you use to eliminate or counter the other persons
opposition, influence, or idea?
How did you communicate to the other person what you felt they must
do?
How did you threaten the other person with:

An action or attitude against them?
An action or attitude withheld from them?
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Lecture Notes:
Repentance or Regret?
Objectives
1. Explain and demonstrate true repentance as distinguished from regret.
2.
Distinguish between regret and repentance in case studies.
3.
Apply in their own conflicts the power of personal repentance.
(Lecture ideas are from chapter 6 of The Peacemaker by Ken Sande, and Pastor as
Peacemaker by Alfred Poirier.)
Repentance Unto Life
Westminster Shorter Catechism Question 87: What is repentance unto life?
Answer: Repentance unto life is a saving grace [Acts 11:18; 2 Tim. 2:26], whereby a
sinner, out of a true sense of his sin [Acts 2:3738], and apprehension of the mercy of
God in Christ [Joel 2:12; Jer. 3:22], does, with grief and hatred of his sin, turn from it
unto God [Jer. 31:1819; Ezek. 36:31], with full purpose of, and endeavor after, new
obedience [2 Cor. 7:11; Isa. 1:1617].
Worldly Sorrow vs. Godly Sorrow
Repentance is more than a feeling (see The Peacemaker 118-119): Simply feeling bad
does not prove that one is repentant godly sorrow means feeling bad because
you have offended God (118).
2 Corinthians 7:910: For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were
not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to
salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.
Repentance and Regret
Regret and repentance differ from each other in at least three ways:
with respect to God and self,
with respect to sin and self, and
with respect to others and self.
With respect to God and self, regret is a result of fearing man, whereas repentance is
the fruit of fearing God.
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With respect to sin and self, regret sorrows over not being as great as one thought
or getting caught, but repentance sees oneself as one really is.
With respect to others and self, regret or worldly sorrow leads to either self-righteousness
or self-condemnation. Repentance leads to forgiveness through the cross and to the
righteousness of Christ.
True Repentance
A true confession (that incorporates the substance of the Seven As of Confession)
demonstrates genuine repentance. Someone who is truly repentant will be willing to
admit unequivocally, to accept the consequences, and to change their behavior (The
Peacemaker, 126-134).
Focusing on the gospel enables true repentance, both for ourselves and for when we
seek to lead others to repentance (The Peacemaker, 163-165).
Understanding repentance helps us and others to see the log that must be taken out
of our eye.
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R E C O N C I L I N G
M A R I T A L
C O N F L I C T
P R A C T I C U M
Session
Seeing Others in a
New Way: Personal
Peacemaking
Daily Objectives
1.
Identify unresolved conflict in the learners personal life.
2.
Become convicted and convinced from Scripture that failing to take

action in conflict is not a godly response.
3.
Identify what kinds of offenses can and cannot be overlooked.
4.
Identify appropriate cultural differences between public and private

going.
5.
Practice discriminating between issues, positions, and interests
Peacemaking Responses to Conflict

Lecture: Introduction to Peacemaking Responses to Conflict
Briefly review the Slippery Slope of conflict. Todays lesson focuses on the movement
from peace-faking or peace-breaking to peace-making, with an emphasis on
personal, non-assisted peacemaking.
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LECTURE: 5 MIN.
C O N F L I C T
A N D
Bible Discovery Groups

Divide into small groups of 4-5 students. Read and discuss 1 Samuel 2:12-36:
PERSONAL REFLECTION:
5 MIN.
ACCOUNTABILITY
GROUPS: 10 MIN.
1.
Identify where Eli and his sons were on the Slippery Slope.
2.
Identify what apparently happened for the conflict to get as far as it did.
3.
Suggest what steps should have been taken.
4.
Identify what are the complications in parental and 1-up relations.

Discuss when we cannot and should not overlook offenses. What are some of the
principles that guide us to the next level of peacemaking (discussion or
reconciliation)? (See pages 150-155 of The Peacemaker.)
Personal Reflection
Ask students to review their journals and the various conflicts that they have described
there in order to now identify some of the consequences of ignoring someones failure
or offense. Ask them to think about these conflicts in light of the Slippery Slope and
answer the question, What areor could bethe consequences of not dealing with
these conflicts in my life in a biblical manner?
Have students meet with their accountability partners and share with each other their
personal reflections.

Discuss and list the ways that the failure of others can be confronted lovingly.
Extrapolate and give principles for use in other situations. Keep in mind how you
would like to be confronted if you were the offender.
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Discussing the Matter

Bible Discovery Groups
Divide into small groups of 4-5 students. Discuss 1-down situations like that of
Abigail who, although she was a wealthy woman, was less powerful than David, who
was a respected warrior and protector.
Another issue that comes to light in this conflict is public nature of Nabals offense
against David. How can a person go privately in such situations?
Identify different ways of fulfilling the biblical mandate of Matthew 5:23-24 and
Matthew 18:15 as well as being culturally appropriate and effective.
What is the role of others in a conflict between you and one other person? When and
how should you involve others? (Consider Matt 18:16-20 and Gal 6:1.)

Bring the observations of the Bible Discovery Small Groups to the whole group.
Role-Play
In small groups of four (4), role-play the story summarized in Acts 15. The time
allocated is not enough to bring this to a conclusion. Therefore, students should not
be concerned with reaching resolution. Instead, they should play the role-play in real
time. The role play is intended to allow the conflict of interests to be felt so that that
the Issues, Positions, and Interests worksheet will have greater meaning.
ROLE-PLAY: 25 MIN.
(Note: see the notes at the end of this session for the parts to role-play, the common
facts, and the hidden facts.)
Building Trust
Explanation
Stop the role-play and introduce the Issues, Positions, and Interests worksheet.
If the case of David and Abigail was used in the worksheet, the question would be
something like, What does Nabal owe David? Nabals position would be nothing
but Abigails would be food. Davids position would be what I ask for. Davids
exclusive interest is the sustenance of his troops, while Nabals exclusive interest seems
to be profit. Abigails interests include personal security and honor.
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EXPLANATION: 5 MIN.
C O N F L I C T
A N D
Small Groups
Divide into small groups of four (4) students. Use the Issues, Positions, and Interests
worksheet to analyze the case of the Acts 15 role-play.
Invite students to share their hidden facts in order to reveal their exclusive interests.
Whole Group Report

Have the small groups report to the whole class:
Why would it have been easier to do the case after understanding the
worksheet? (Note: This reverse-order is done so that the student will better
grasp the importance of looking for and finding common interests.)
What would have helped to build trust in the role-play?
What approaches, new understanding, and attitudes can build trust? What
approach, beliefs, or attitudes tear down trust?
Negotiating
LECTURE: 15 MIN.
Lecture: Dealing with both Substantive and Relational Matters

Negotiation is often understood as simply finding an acceptable compromise. But the
Scripture calls us to a higher standardthat of glorifying God, resolving the
substantive matter, and reconciling relationships.
Small Groups
Divide into groups of 2-3 students. Discuss a case study by using the Issues,
Positions, and Interests worksheet.
Following the increments of the Slippery Slope and using a case study suggested by the
class, identify substantive issues and how the relational issues are impacted by the
substantive issues. (For example, the substantive issues may be avoided, denied,
continually mentioned, amplified, litigated, etc.)
Remind the students that the substantive issue may be fueled by a heart idol. For
example, a conflict over money will not be reconciled until the parties repent of an
idolatry of money. Alternatively, the parties may reach agreement over substantive
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issues and still be personally unreconciled. For example, money might be paid, but it is
done with regret and bitterness.
Homework
1-Up Difficulties
Make a list of the difficulties in going to someone 1-up. Pray that God will give
you wisdom in learning how to be a peacemaker in all of your conflicts.
Journaling
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HOMEWORK: 5 MIN.
C O N F L I C T
A N D
Lecture Notes:
Introduction to Personal Peacemaking
Objective
Review the Slippery Slope and introduce the transition from self-examination to peacemaking responses.
The Slippery Slope
As you introduce the Slippery Slope of Conflict, note that:
1.
Moving up the slope requires a person to stop peace-faking or peacebreaking and begin peacemaking; and
2.
Peacemaking progresses from the least confrontational thing that may be

done privately, to the most confrontational thing that requires the
assistance and involvement of others.
Peacemaking Responses
The six responses found along the top portion of the curve are directed at finding
a just and mutually agreeable solution to a conflict. These responses may be
divided into two subcategories: personal peacemaking responses and assisted
responses.
Depending on the nature of the conflict and the reasons for it, all of the peacemaking
responses are appropriate ways of seeking to glorify God in conflict.
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Personal Peacemaking Responses
Personal peacemaking responses involve only the parties:
Overlook an offense: One person deliberately and unilaterally decides

to forgive a wrong and walk away from a conflict. The first step of
peacemaking might be to overlook an offensewhich is a form of
forgiveness. Proverbs 12:16; 17:14; 19:11; Luke 6:36; 1 Peter 4:8; and
Colossians 3:13 all suggest that overlooking an offense is a good thing.
It may however be the wrong thing to do, if you slip into denial and
pretend that the conflict does not exist. Questions to help consider if
overlooking is wrong include the following: Is it dishonoring God? Is
it damaging your relationship? Is it hurting others? Is it hurting the
offender? (pages 150-155 of The Peacemaker).
Reconciliation (or Discussion): Personal offenses are resolved

through confession or confrontation, leading to forgiveness and
reconciliation. Often this simply involves discussing the matter in an
informal way; and sometimes the conflict is resolved by recognizing and
clarifying a misunderstanding. When this step is done with skill, others
often know a person as a peacemaker. It requires some of the same skills
that negotiation (the third, more formal step) requires, but with a focus on
the relational issues in a conflict. Key texts include Matthew 5:23-4; 18:15;
and Galatians 6:1. It is important to recognize that God commands us to
Go to our brother when there is a breach in our relationship. We should
not be content to allow the relationship to remain broken without doing all
we can to strengthen and heal it (Rom. 12:18).
Negotiation (Phil. 2:3-4): Substantive issues are resolved through a

discussion process in which the parties seek to reach a mutually
agreeable settlement of their differences through an exchange of
promises.
Assisted Responses
The remaining steps tend to be more formal steps, and they require assistance.
We believe that the local church can and should play a significant role in helping people
to work out their conflicts. The authority that Christ invests in the churchhis
authoritybecomes increasingly important as we progress through the peacemaking
steps.
Mediation. Mediation is assisting conflicted parties to discuss a matter

with each other and to arrive at their own solution. Mediators help people
to communicate more effectively and to explore possible solutions; they
may ask questions and give advice, but they have no authority to force the
parties to accept a particular solution. The mediation process and the
people who act as mediators can look very different, according to the
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situation. For example, in Acts 9:26-28, Barnabas assists Paul and the
apostles to understand one another and to cooperate as true disciples of
Christ. Later, Paul asks the members of the church at Philippi to help two
women agree with each other in the Lord (Phil. 4:2-3). Jesus command
to take one or two others along (Matt. 18:16) is another example of
mediation.
Arbitration (1 Cor. 6:1-8): When the parties cannot come to a

voluntary solution, they explain the matter to one or more arbitrators
who are empowered to render a binding decision on the matter.
Arbitrators may involve the parties in discussion, but the arbitrators make
a decision for the parties, even if they do not want the settlement.
Accountability (Matt. 18:17-20): When a Christian refuses to do what

is right and just, the church formally intervenes to promote
understanding, confession, repentance and reconciliation. Sometimes
this church discipline is wrongly punitive and misses the restorative,
redemptive, and loving purpose of church accountability.
1-Up and 1-Down Situations

In practice, the distinctions between these peacemaking steps are often fuzzy.
Some cultures can be very direct with people who are above or under them in
regards to power or age. Other cultures must defer in some way to power or age.
Let us consider different cases to discover how to proceed. We will call these 1up or 1-down situations. A 1-up situation occurs when you feel that the
person with whom you have a conflict is socially superior to you in some way
(power, position, education, wealth, influence, age, ethnicity, etc). For example, it
would be more difficult to approach a parent or an employer to discuss a conflict
than it would be to approach a peer. A 1-down situation is the opposite; the
person is younger or less powerful than you are.
The presence of a 1-up or 1-down situation does not excuse us from obeying
Gods call to live at peace with everyone, as far as it depends on you (Rom.
12:18). One of your life-long tasks as a Christian will be learning how to speak the
truth in love, using appropriate methods for various people and circumstances.
The peacemaking principles that you are learning in this course are only the
starting-point for learning how Gods Word applies to your conflicts.
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Case Study Role-Play on Acts 15

Before the class begins, prepare sets of Secret Role-Play Information sheets for
each group of four students. (Cut and reproduce a separate slip of paper for each
role.)
During class, have the students form groups of four. Each student in a group of
four will play the part of one party in the conflict. (Each group chooses who will
play which part.)
Once the parts are assigned by the groups, have the students read the secret
information about their respective parts. Emphasize that they are not to share
their secret information with anyone else! The secret information should
affect their attitudes and demeanor; facts may be revealed as the other participants
draw them out.
Explain that each group will have 30 minutes to role-play the situation in an
attempt to reach a resolution, even if it does not match the one in Acts 15.
Assumptions about the Conflict
Like all role-plays, certain assumptions about the conflict must be made beyond the
exact text of Acts 15. For purposes of the role-play, have the students assume that:
Alexander believes that Gods intention for redemption was to bring

Gentiles into Israel as the people of God. For him this meant that they
would observe the cultural rules and regulations that the Jews observed.
Joseph also believes that Gods intention for redemption was to bring
Gentiles to trust in Christ and be a part of the people of God. For him this
meant that there would be a new culture, which was not exactly like
traditional Judaism or like the Greeks.
Daniel believes that even Jews couldnt manage to obey the ceremonial
laws of Moses, and the most important thing was that that real Christians
would exhibit special signs of their faith.
Michael believes that the Old Testament held the answer to understand
what should be practiced, and that the Gentiles will eventually do things
the Jewish way if they are not pressured.
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Secret Role-Play Information for Each Party

The following secret information is to be printed ahead of time and put onto
separate slips with the role-play name on it. Prepare enough sets of secret
information so that each student in the class has secret role-play information to
help him play his role. After the role-play the students may desire a complete set
of the information on all parts, so you may want to prepare these in advance.
Alexander: you are a learned leader in Israel and are proud of your people. You
find it hard to accept the wild reports of Peter and Paul about the Gentile
believers. They seem mostly interested in just lowering the standards of faith and
you know this will produce chaos among believers.
Joseph: you are learned like Alexander. You feel that much of Alexanders issue is
that he has a different opinion since he had a different teacher. But you also feel
that he is harsh against Gentiles. Alexander avoids contact with non-believing
Gentiles, and seems uncomfortable around believing Gentiles. He has never gone
on a crusade to evangelize or disciple the Gentiles and has just been stubborn.
You are sure that the council will see the point if you present it strongly.
Daniel: the experience of your vision made you a different Jew. You used to be
very prejudiced and called it holy. You now believe that the most important
thing for believers is to have a special experience of the Holy Spirit. You are fairly
sure Alexander has not had such an experience and he seems to still have the kind
of prejudice you once had.
Michael: as a friend of Jesus family, you are sure you really have a clear
understanding of what he would have wanted. You have spent a great deal of time
studying the Old Testament and find that others are often too busy to study well.
When you speak, you speak with conviction and authority. You believe that
probably Alexander is correct in his understanding of the law, but you know that
Jesus would have overlooked the law so that the Gentiles could come to faith and
then slowly they will change their ways.
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Issues, Positions and Interests

1. Identify an issue in the form of a question that can be answered by either party:
2. Identify two positions on the issue:
3. Identify the interests that underlie the positions:

Exclusive
Interests
Common / Mutual
Interests
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Exclusive
Interests
C O N F L I C T
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Lecture Notes:
Negotiating Substantive Issues
Objective
1. Begin to differentiate substantive issues from the relationships around
those issues.
2.
Introduce the conceptual framework necessary for negotiating in a way

that is likely to bring about redemptive reconciliation.
Introduction
What is the picture in your mind of a negotiator? A tough advocate? A police
investigator? A wealthy businessman? Most of our mental pictures bring out the
meaning of negotiation which seems to say that one side wins and the other looses.
Our mental pictures do help us understand that negotiation is usually about something
important, and that much is true. But our mental picture is wrong in many ways. When
we negotiate for redemptive reconciliation, we are talking, or negotiating, about some
material interest and we are negotiating a relationship. The difference in our attitude
about this can make the difference between redemption and destruction.
The Bible is full of examples of negotiation. (As a story is mentioned, the class can
identify what the substance of the dispute was about and what happened to the
relationship.)
1.
Jacob wanted the birthright from Esau and got it for what? A bowl of
soup. Later he tricked Isaac with what? A pot of meat. And what
happened to the relationship? (Gen. 25 and 27).
2.
Laban wanted his oldest daughter to be married first, so he did what?

Negotiated for Jacob to work for seven years and then substituted the
daughters (Gen. 29).
3.
Moses negotiated with Pharaoh to let Israel worship in the desert and
Pharaoh did what? Made them work harder and oppressed them more
(Ex. 7).
4.
David wanted to provide for his men and asked Nabal for what? Food.
Because he did not receive it he decided to? Destroy the household
(1 Sam. 25).
5.
Paul and Barnabas disagreed about taking who? John Mark And so
they separated (Acts 15).
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C O N F L I C T
6.
A N D
Nehemiah explained the reason for his sadness to King Artaxerxes and
received what? A letter of protection to rebuild Jerusalem (Neh. 2).
In each case you can see that there was some material substance or opinion that was at
the center of the conflict. In each case it is clear also that relationships were broken.
We can also see that God used even poorly motivated negotiation to bring His
redemption. Jacob did receive the birthright and blessing; and God brought Paul and
Barnabas together again and blessed both of their ministries. We can also see that God
uses a conflict to suggest and even bring a redemptive ending. Abigail went to David
with food and David wisely changed his mind. Nehemiah negotiated for a letter of
protection, and a nation was rebuilt!
Even though it is difficult sometimes, we must seek to negotiate and bring to
resolution not only substantive issues, but also relational issues.
Negotiation is like a light bulb (issues) and an electric cord (relationships). If you want
light, you must not only replace the faulty bulb, but you must also plug in the cord.
Sometimes we only need to plug in the cord to get light!
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Session
Go and Be Reconciled:
Seeing Relationships in a
New Way, Forgiving, and
Rebuilding
Daily Objectives
1.
Practice identifying both the substantive and relational aspects of conflict.
2.
Understand forgiveness by applying biblical principles.
3.
Identify strategies and interventions to restore and heal personal

relationships.
Transforming Conflict
Whole Group Exercise
Facilitate the entire class role-playing the case of Joshua 22. The purpose of the roleplay is to help students feel both the substantive and relational issues in negotiation.
Divide the class into two groups: one represents the Reubenites, the Gadites and the
half-tribe of Manasseh; the other group represents the ten tribes.
10 minutes: Each side meets alone to determine its strategy and choose
representatives.
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WHOLE GROUP
EXERCISE: 35 MIN.
C O N F L I C T
WHOLE GROUP
EXERCISE: 40 MIN.
A N D
5 minutes: The representatives talk in front of the entire class according to

the strategy determined by their respective groups.
20 minutes: Debrief by focusing on the interests and positions of each

group. Be sure to discuss how those who were not the representatives felt
about the discussion.
Whole Group Bible Discovery Exercise

Using the Redemptive Negotiation worksheet, have the class discuss the Acts 6
conflict about widows. (Note: this worksheet is found at the end of this lesson.)
Ask the group to identify the answers for the missing cells of the worksheet. Then
use a discussion/lecture method to have the class answer the questions on the
sections Affirm, Understand, Search, and Evaluate.
(Note: Answers provided in the notes are for the facilitators guidance.)
Redeeming Conflict
LECTURE: 30 MIN.
WHOLE GROUP
DISCUSSION: 15 MIN.
WHOLE GROUP
Lecture: Redeeming Conflict

The lecture explains that redeeming conflict is doing what is not natural. The hand
pushing demonstration shows how we naturally push back when someone offends
us, but we redeem a conflict and preserve a relationship when we look out for the
interests of others (Phil. 2:4) and forgive all offenses. Forgiveness is only possible,
however, when we understand it in light of Gods forgiveness of us.
Identify the negative consequences of not forgiving correctly and completely.
Have the class give several brief scenarios as case studies. For each one, ask,
What are the consequences of not forgiving? Then ask, What are the
consequences of the consequences? Finally, examine barriers to forgiving and
Scripture passages that help us in this effort. Only God can give us the power and
the desire to truly forgive others sins. (See pages 213-223 of The Peacemaker.)

Ask the students, When someone forgives you, what do you want to happen as
result? List the responses on the board.
DISCUSSION: 10 MIN.
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Most of the responses will require building trust. To better understand forgiveness
and how to build trust, use a case study that has already been mentioned by the
class.
The following exercise is to be used to discuss interventions that might build trust
in this case.

Together, use the suggested case study to do the following Building Trust
Worksheet. (For more information, refer to the lecture notes on Shalom.)
Luke 10:27 gives a paradigm or formula for how we can glorify God in our
relationships. The following worksheet is partially filled out to illustrate how trust was
built in the case of the good Samaritan.
Category
Be together socially
Acts of
forgiveness or
trust
Choose to help
Affirm each other

emotionally
moved with
compassion
Understand each
others story,
interests, or needs.
Make choices to
work together
Share resources
together
Came to the
place and saw
the beaten man
took him to an
inn
Treated with
oil/wine, mount
Intended outcome
Who/how
to initiate
Physical/emotional
well-being
See and treat other
as fully human,
child of God
Understand the
need, have
compassion
Care by
community
Immediate and
then recovery care
Samaritan
Samaritan
Samaritan
Samaritan,
inn-keeper
Samaritan
Since the story does not contain dialogue or long-term results, we can only analyze this
story a little. Actual case studies will provide a more diverse set of answers and
struggles.
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WHOLE GROUP
EXERCISE: 30 MIN.
C O N F L I C T
ACCOUNTABILITY
GROUPS: 15 MIN.
A N D
Have each student use the Building Trust Worksheet to identify actions that would
build trust in a personal conflict he is facing or has faced in the past.
Encourage the groups to identify one or two possible actions for one person, and then
look at the possible actions for the second person.
It is best for a person to first suggest his own actions and then have his partner give
feedback.
Homework
HOMEWORK: 5 MIN.
Building Trust Worksheet

Have each student fill out a Building Trust Worksheet for a personal conflict and for
a conflict that he is aware of in his family or church. For the family or church conflict,
the student should choose a conflict that he may be able to assist in, even if it does not
involve him directly.
Journaling
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Lecture Notes:
Redemptive Negotiation (PAUSE)
Prepare
What are the issues, positions, and interests of both substance and relationship in the
conflict regarding assistance to widows in Acts 6?
Jews
Greeks
Relational/
Substantive
Position A
Position B
Interest
Options
Jewish widows
have preference
R-dishonor
S-inequality
Serve more widows,

serve equal
R-ethnic
suspicion
S-hunger
Need and not

ethnicity should
dtermine service
Grek widows were
intentionally left off
the list
Widows in need are

helped
Greek widows left

out
Jewish widows
were first on the
list
Accidents
happen
All in need should be

helped
Take greater care in

distibution
Investigate why
Party A
Issues
Mostly Jewish
leaders
Jewish dominance
Apostles not have
time to oversee
Teaching seemed
more important
Affirm
Acts 6:2 assumes several things:
1.
The complaint was legitimate.
2.
There should be equality.
3.
The testimony of the church required mutual honor.
4.
The leadership needed to reflect ethnic balance.
5.
Showing mutual care was more important than mutual existence.
Understand
Verses 3 and 4 of Acts 6 show that there was understanding of the issues:
1.
Jew and Gentile widows both needed to be honored equally.
2.
Ethnic suspicion and prejudice happened easily and was hard to get rid of.
3.
The majority should not take advantage of the minority.
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C O N F L I C T
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4.
Leaders should represent their constituency.
5.
There was more work to do than the present organizational structure

allowed.
Search (for Good Alternatives)

Verses 5 and 6 of Acts 6 show that the entire community participated in implementing
the new decision:
1.
A new structure called deacons was created.
2.
The new leaders would intentionally be from diverse socio-ethnic

backgrounds.
3.
The new leaders would possess the same qualities required of earlier
leaders.
Evaluate (the Options)

Acts 6:7 indicates that the results were blessed:
1.
The word of God continued to be taught.
2.
The number of disciples multiplied.
3.
Many Jewish leaders saw this as a witness that was the fulfillment of
Scripture and turned to faith in Christ.
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Lecture Notes: Redeeming Conflict

Objective
Move students to believe in Gods redemption of conflict and help them identify
actions they can take to build stronger relationships with each other out of their love
for God.
Introduction
Do a demonstration on hand-pushing as follows:
1.
Have a volunteer stand facing you, with his hands up and palms outward
so that you can put your hands against his.
2.
Begin to push against his hands, increasing the pressure as he pushes back.
(Ask if the class is observing what is happening.)
3.
Release the pressure and ask if there is any other response than
pushing.
4.
Redo the demonstration, making sure that you have put one foot
farther behind you for greater stability, and then have the volunteer
push on the count of three.
5.
When the volunteer pushes, simply allow him to come toward you and
bring your arms around him to catch him in an embrace.
6.
Ask the class what happened. The demonstration illustrates that when
we decide to stop pushing (conflict) we may have the opportunity to
embrace.
Redeeming Conflict
How can I transform my conflict? is probably the main question most of us have at
this point in our course.
Hopefully by now you are convinced that Gods glory should be seen in the way
conflict is handled and that conflict resolution requires you to have a new look at
your own sin and role in a conflict.
You might even have already begun to plan on how you can approach someone
with whom you are currently in conflict. The question now is, How can that
conflict be redeemed and transformed?
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1.
The first step in redeeming conflict is to better diagnose itunderstand the

issues, positions, and interests.
2.
A second step is to differentiate between the substantive and the relational

issues.
3.
A third step is to confess all sins and offenses and to wisely negotiate the
substantive issues.
4.
A fourth step is to forgive and to receive forgiveness. In its most basic sense,
forgive means to give something for what has happened
Forgiveness as Propitiation
The biblical idea of propitiation is this: Christ gave His life in exchange for the penalty
of our sin.
In human terms when we grant forgiveness and say, I forgive you this debt we
are saying I give you this money, you no longer owe it to me. When seeking
forgiveness we are saying, forgive me this debt or please give me the money I
owe you.
In relationships we are saying, I give you my commitment of love and harmony
and will not hold the damage you have done against you. That is not easy.
Gods forgiveness of us in Christ becomes the model/command for our own
forgiveness (Matt. 6:12; Col. 3:13; Eph. 4:32; 1 Cor. 13:4-5; Ps. 103:12; 130:3-4).
Forgiving is hard! Let us understand it better:
Forgiveness is not:
Because this means: Forgiveness means: Forgiveness is:
Forgetting
Denial
Not allowing a
matter to divide us
Letting go of the
debt
Excusing
Continuing a
substantive failure
Keep working
together in love
Transforming the
relationship
Exacting justice
Getting even
Embracing
Giving grace
Avoidance
Relationship not
restored
Four Promises
Future-focused
How do these characteristics of forgiveness mirror how God forgives us?
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The Four Promises of Forgiveness

1. I will not dwell on this incident.
2.
I will not bring up this incident or use it against you.
3.
I will not talk to others about this incident.
4.
I will not allow this incident to stand between us or break our relationship.
Bbiblical examples of forgiveness include Joseph and brothers (Gen. 42-44).

Not forgiving has consequences. Consider again the Lords Prayer: Forgive me as I
forgive others (Matt. 6:12).
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Building Trust Worksheet

Category
Acts of forgiveness
or trust
Intended outcome
Be together socially
Affirm each other

emotionally
Understand each others

story, interests, or
needs.
Make choices to work
together
Share resources
together
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Who/how to
initiate
C O N F L I C T
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Session
Coaching Others in
Conflict: Gathering
Information
Sessions 7-8 teach Conflict Coaching. Although there is
significant overlap between personal peacemaking and conflict
coaching, these two sessions are designed to give the students
peacemaking skills an outward focus. We are conflict coaches
when we offer someone advice about a conflict in which we are
not personally involved. Just as an athletic coach guides his
athletes to victory from the sidelines, a conflict coach uses his or
her knowledge of peacemaking to help someone in conflict to
experience Gods redemption of that conflict.
Daily Objectives
1.
Understand, model, and practice the process of coaching others to

understand issues and desires in their conflict.
2.
Understand, model, and practice the process of helping someone else to

apply the gospel to conflict.
3.
Analyze at least one of the learners personal conflicts so that coaching

others is seen in light of ones own struggles with conflict.
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Getting From Facts to Meaning

LECTURE: 15 MIN.
STORYTELLING
EXERCISE: 20 MIN.
Lecture: Gathering Information by Listening

Instructor should briefly introduce the idea of passport, questions for data collection,
and identification of core issues.
Storytelling Exercise
Use Genesis 29 and role-play the biblical narrative of Jacob and Labans conflict over
Rachel and Leah.
Have a student play the role of Jacob. The Instructor should play the coach role as a
friend of Jacob.
Have a student prepare for the role-play in advance.
LISTENING EXERCISE:
60 MINUTES TOTAL IN
THREE 20 MIN. CYCLES
10 minutes: Model the listening techniques by using the three levels of

story (facts, feelings and meaning) to draw out the deeper meaning.
10 minutes: Debrief by asking class to comment on the process of

listening to and telling the story. How is this different from how they
usually listen to storytelling?
Listening Exercise
In small groups of three (3) students, do the following listening exercise:
1.
Each person tells the story of a conflict.
2.
The person to his left asks clarifying questions to understand better the
facts of the story.
3.
The next person restates and clarifies the meaning and the heart issues
underlying the conflict.
4.
The group discusses the process: Did the clarifications sound judgmental?
How can we listen and understand better?
Repeat the cycle for each person in the group. Each cycle takes 20 minutes.
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Getting to the Heart

Lecture: IdolatryGetting to the Heart of Conflict
Explain and discuss the progression of idols, reminding the students of what they
learned about idols in Session 4. Review the following texts with the class: James 4:13; 1 John 1:8, 10; Luke 12:4-5.
Identifying Heart Idols Exercise
In small groups and whole group discussions, have the students work with case studies
to identify possible heart idols in the cases:
1.
30 minute Bible case: Divide the class into small groups of 4-5 students.
Have all of the groups examine the same biblical case study and complete
the Idols of the Heart Worksheet.
2.
15 minute debrief: Have the groups report back their findings to the
whole group. Since each group will have worked with the same biblical
case study, identify and share the reasons for differences between group
findings.
3.
30 minute class case: Have each group identify a case study from life that
they will discuss. Again have them use the Idols of the Heart
Worksheet.
4.
15 minute debrief: In a whole group debrief, discuss how the students see
that Gods Word speaks to the idols. What Scriptures can students offer
the parties to teach, rebuke, correct and train in righteousness (2 Tim.
3:16)?
LECTURE: 15 MIN.
IDENTIFYING HEART
IDOLS EXERCISE: 90
MINUTES TOTAL IN TWO
45 MIN. SECTIONS.
Homework
Self-Evaluation of Idols
Have each student complete a Self-Evaluation of Idols worksheet for the next day.
Journaling
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HOMEWORK: 5 MIN.
C O N F L I C T
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Lecture Notes:
Gathering Information by Listening
Objective
This lecture should present the basics of listening theory so that the student will be
challenged to think about his own style of listening and how better to gather the
information needed to coach others in conflict.
Introduction
Sessions 7 and 8 move from dealing with personal conflict to coaching or helping
others in their personal conflicts.
Just as none of us can see very well what others can see on the back of our heads, we
are all in a position to help others to see better the conflict that they are in. This does
not mean that we are experts in conflict resolution. Often helping others see what is in
their conflicts will help us better see what is in our own conflicts.
Coaching others requires an understanding of basic peacemaking, the skills of listening
well, and the prayerful ability to apply Scripture to the heart. The last sessions have
been on basic personal peacemaking, now we try to understand how we can help
others, which begins with listening well.
Passport
Just as traveling to another country requires a passport for entrance, so the deep issues
of a persons heart may require having a passport to gain access. The conflict coach
or counselor earns passport in the way that they approach another person.
This is sometimes known as earning the right to speak. In some cultures one only has
to be old enough, rich enough, powerful enough, or have some other quality in order
to earn the right to speak. In conflict coaching, a person earns the right to speak when
the listener can answer positively to three questions:
1.
Can I trust you?
2.
Do you care about me?
3.
Can you really help me?
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Understanding the Person

Think of a persons story or problem as being like an egg:
Story facts
Egg shell
Story feelings
Egg white
Story meaning
Egg yolk
Understanding a person requires you to know:
What a person says is the problem.
What they are doing in response to the problem.
What the feelings, values or attitudes are that contribute to the problem.
What underlying factors are contributing to the problem. These may be

beliefs or desires that are deeply held and have become idols.
Getting to this level requires a passport!

Ways to Listen
The best way to teach the various ways to listen is by role-playing extreme illustrations.
(See also pages 165-169 of The Peacemaker.)
You can listen in the following ways:
Passive listening: This requires no response on the listeners part. The

speaker may wonder if you are sleeping, uninterested, or judging him.
Active listening: This requires some active response. The response may
be non-verbal facial expressions or a head nod or it may be a verbal
agreement, question, or restatement. Important listening techniques in
active listening include clarifying questions, reflecting questions that help
the person see themselves or the situation more clearly, and affirming
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statements when the person has well identified a feeling, appropriately

talked about a problem, or expressed hope in Christ.
Suggestive listening: This can be clarifying by summarizing or leading

the speaker to make his own conclusions. It may also happen negatively
when the listener makes an interpretation or conclusion that the speaker
does not intend or does not agree with and may not feel comfortable in
disagreeing.
Interruptive listening: This happens when the listener attempts to move

the speaker to stay on the main idea of the story, to go into greater depth
in some area, or to insert his own opinion or idea. It may become
distracting and destructive if done to a point of irritating the speaker.
Impediments to Listening
The following may be impediments in the listening process:
Rehearsing: When the listener is uncomfortable with silence or what is

being said, he focuses on what he will say next rather than on what the
person is saying. (Alternative to this is to request a moment to think about
what was said before going on.)
Mind Reading: When the listener thinks she already knows what the
person is thinking and feeling or tries to guess. Often there is a
predetermined agenda of what the person ought to do. (Alternative is to
hold your preconceptions lightly, ask clarifying questions, and check your
assumptions.)
Identifying: When the listener jumps from the speaker to his own
experience and says something like, that reminds me when I
(Alternative is to build a relationship by summarizing in a single sentence
or two a personal feeling or response that was similar, but leaving out the
details of your own story.)
Dreaming: When the listener is thinking about other things and is not
really listening. (Alternative is to keep asking yourself questions like, What
is the meaning or reason for this persons response?)
Distracting: When the listener shows a lack of interest by rushing over

what has been said or changing the subject to get on to important things.
Placating: When the listener avoids confronting something important

simply because he does not want to deal with it.
For more information, read Chapter 8 in The Peacemaker.
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Lecture Notes:
Idolatry--Getting to the Heart of Conflict
Objective
This lecture should explain the progressive nature of the idols of the heart. The student
must not only understand this progression, but also be able to identify it in actual
practice both in his conflicts and in the situations of others.
The goal is that the student will develop the conviction that helping others in conflict
means starting by helping that person to understand his own heart condition.
Introduction
We have already talked about the fact that God accomplishes his redemption in an
environment of conflict.
We have also said that conflict is not always bad. When handled correctly, conflict can
be good because it helps to remove from us and from our relationships the things that
God calls sin. The sin in us and in our relationships is the actual cause of conflict. (Note:
Not all conflict necessarily has sin at its root. Sometimes a difference of opinion can
create sharp conflict as between Paul and Barnabas in Acts 15:36ff. This conflict
resulted in the blessing of further spreading of the gospel through both Paul and
Barnabas. Most often, however, conflict grows with the growth of sinful responses.)
Conflict is often like a deep splinter that causes infection under our skin. When we
remove the splinter, the infection can heal. But getting to the heart of the infection, or
the splinter, can be painful. It may also be difficult to persevere because we question
whether there is really anything there.
We know, however, that the Bible says that all of our fights and quarrels come from
the desires that battle within us (James 4:1-3). Thus, we are called to learn how to
identify and repent of our idols.
Biblical Truth
(Review from session 4.)
James 4:1-3: Conflict begins in the heart. We must identify the idols of the heart, the
things that we desire more than we desire to follow God.
John 16:8: When the Holy Spirit convicts us of guilt and sin, it is his way of rescuing us,
not condemning us. His condemnation comes at the end of the ages when unbelievers
have not seen their guilt and turned from their sins to saving faith in Christ.
1 John 1:8-10: Desires increase in the seriousness of their impact. The consequences of
conflict often grow in proportion to the increase of our grip on sinful desires.
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Use the following (or an alternative text) to demonstrate the hearts progression from
desire to demand to judgment to punishment: 1 Kings 12:1-33, Rehoboams folly, the
division of Israel, and new altars.
Progression into sin
Desire
Demand
Judge
Punish
Gods Word
Subsequent action
Rehoboam and Judah

To rule well
To have power
Laziness of people
Adoram to force labor
Do not fight your brothers
Jeroboam and Israel

To be ruled with mercy
To be free from heavy tax
Separation from Judahs evil
Killing of Adoram
Created altars of false gods
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Idols of the Heart Worksheet

Fears: What are some of the fears that this person faces?
If present, give example
Loss of:
Job
Position/opportunity
Honor/reputation
Security (financial, physical)
Spouse/marriage
Relationship
Children, parents, family members
Possessions
Control
Presence of:
Additional conflict
Increased family/social pressure
Physical oppression
Financial oppression
Shame
Uncertainty
Continued social disconnection
Cravings: The evil in our desire often is not what we want but that we want it too
much (John Calvin).
What does this person mention as deep desires/cravings?
Peace and quiet, no hassle
Acceptance
Having my own way
Control
Professional success
Love and respect
Successful children
Respect from others
Vindication
If present, give example
Helpful questions to identify fears and cravings:
What do you want to avoid?
What do you want to preserve?
What do you find yourself thinking about much of the time?
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Judgment: Judging is acting in some way as if we are God and can demand or expect
from another person that he honor (fear) or love (trust) us because we know and do
what is right and best.
Does this person speak or demonstrate a judgmental heart? Watch for statements such
as:
____You are so bad that you are unworthy of my time, energy, and friendship.
____You are hopeless. I will not be with you or associate with you.
____Your opinions are wrong and those opinions make you bad.
____Your beliefs are inadequate and wrong therefore I will not associate with you.
____I know your motives are wrong or dishonest.
____Your relationships are unacceptable and therefore you are unacceptable.
____Your desires are wrong and those desires make you bad.
Helpful questions to identify judgments:
When a desire is not met do you feel frustrated, resentment, anger, etc.?
What means have you used to eliminate or counter the other persons
opposition or influence?
How have you communicated to the other person what you feel they must
do?
How have you threatened the other person? (Action/attitude against or

action/attitude withheld)
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Session
Coaching Others in
Conflict: Applying the
Gospel
Daily Objectives
1.
The hope and healing of the gospel will be seen and applied to conflict in
interpersonal and community ways.
2.
The steps for transforming conflict by transforming heart issues will be

identified and practiced.
3.
The principles of negotiation will be discussed and applied.
4.
The importance of using homework in coaching will be demonstrated and

the skill of creating assignments will be practiced.
Mote: This session has options. Depending upon what you choose, you may have to
adjust the time spent on any given section to fit into the daily schedule.
What is The Gospel and How Does it Bring

Healing to Conflict?
Whole Group Discussion: The Healing Elements of the Gospel
Ask the class to define gospel and to identify the healing elements of the gospel.
This should include at least: forgiveness, compassion, nurture, accountability and
renewed opportunity.
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DISCUSSION: 15 MIN.
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This discussion can include a recollection of various points already covered about
peacemaking (e.g. the glory of God in conflict, the Four Promises of Forgiveness, the
nature of Gods forgiveness to us, and Gods promises of healing and forgiveness
when we repent).
Accountability Groups: Proclaiming the Gospel
(Choose this or the next exercise)
In your accountability group, do the following Proclaim the Gospel exercise:

ACCOUNTABILITY
GROUPS: 30 MIN
Confess to your partner that you are a sinner, and share a lesson from the
personal conflict that you evaluated as homework from the last class.
Encourage one another by sharing the gospel of Gods grace. All our sins
are forgiven in Christ! Gods forgiveness is not dependant on our works
or us but is his free gift of grace. Eph 2:8, 9
Comfort one another with the good news of forgiveness using words of
Scripture (see, for example, Ps. 32:1-2, Jer. 31:34, Rom. 4:25-5:2, 2 Cor.
5:21, Eph. 2:4-9, Col. 1:21-23, 1 Pet. 2:25, 1 John. 1:8-9, 2 Sam. 12:13b.).
OR
Small Group Bible Discovery: Healing in the Gospel
(Choose this or the previous exercise.)
SMALL GROUP BIBLE

DISCOVERY: 30 MIN
SMALL GROUP BIBLE

DISCOVERY: 45 MIN.
In small groups of 4 or 5, identify what the text indicates are the elements of healing.
The five or more elements mentioned above should emerge as they are applied to the
specific situations in the texts.
Healing fear: Luke 23:39-43, John 18:15-18; 21:15-29
Healing cravings: 2 Samuel 11-12; Luke 15:11-32
Healing judgments: Jonah, Acts 9:1-19
Small Group Bible Discovery

1. Have 2-4 groups of 4-5 students each discuss a Bible narrative. Have the
remaining 2-4 groups discuss a contemporary case study.
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2.
Both sets of groups (Bible narrative and contemporary case study) will
identify the heart idol or sin and what was done to address it. (1 Kings
19, 2 Kings 19)
3.
Debrief as a whole group. Be sure to recognize the basic replacement

cycle of: recognition of sin, repentance, worship, and renewed action.
Negotiating and Longsuffering

Texts
Psalm 37
1 Thessalonians 2:11-12, 5:14-15
Ephesians 4:15
1 Peter 2:18-25
Lecture and Discussion: Helping Others to Negotiate

(Please refer to Session 6.)
1.
Review the redemptive principles of cooperative negotiation where mutual

interests are sought.
2.
Have the class identify biblical principles and texts the demonstrate seeking
the interest of others (Phil 2:4).
3.
Ask the class to identify what loving admonishment includes and

prohibits.
4.
Identify the difference between allowing the sin of injustice and loving
admonishment.
5.
What is biblical long-suffering?
Conflict frequently results in suffering. The Bible encourages us to endure

suffering patiently. Nevertheless, when a wrong cannot be overlooked, we are
called to practice loving admonishment instead of making sinful judgments (see,
for example, Rom. 12:17-21; Eph 4:15; 1 Thess. 2:11-12; 5:14-15)
Submit yourself to Gods judgments and discipline (receive correction with
humility). Confront others in love and follow biblical paths of conflict resolution
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LECTURE: 45 MIN.
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(refer to Matt. 18; Gal 6:1-2). If someone wont respond, recognize your limits and
trust God to do justice in his time (2 Tim. 2:24-26).
SUPPLEMENTAL
ACTIVITY: 30 MIN.
Supplemental Activity
View ISAR film on Martin Luther King & discuss the role of collective non-violent
action in negotiation for structural justice. This will either replace a topic in this day or
be an extra for another time.
Tools for Coaching

LECTURE: 10 MIN.
SMALL GROUP
EXERCISE: 45 MIN.
Lecture: Using Homework

Giving homework in a coaching or counseling situation is a strange idea to many
people. This lecture explains the why and how of this useful tool.

Divide the class into groups of 2 or 3.
1.
Have each small group choose one case study and identify possible
homework assignments for someone they are coaching in a conflict.
2.
Have them evaluate their assignments on the basis of the guidelines (which
should be written on the board during the lecture).
3.
Debrief together by asking what problems were found in creating

homework. What solutions can the class suggest?
Homework
HOMEWORK: 5 MIN.
Conflict Summary
Have the students prepare in advance for the next session by writing a two-paragraph
summary of each of three fairly recent or significant conflicts in their churches that
might have been better handled.
Journaling
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Lecture Notes:
Using Homework
Objective
The student should not only understand the reasons why homework is important in
coaching, but should understand the appropriate guidelines and cautions for giving
homework.
Following the lecture/explanation, the students will have the opportunity to identify
some homework assignments in case studies and demonstrate an initial application of
the guidelines.
Introduction
Imagine a sports coach that never gave a team practice exercises or never helped them
to see what they were doing right or wrong! The team would not likely improve and
the coach would be fired.
Conflict counseling uses homework for the same reasons a coach uses practice drills.
The Reasons for Homework
Reflection on their own heart idols;
Understanding Gods hope in the situation;
Identifying, understanding, and evaluating conflict issues;
Identifying and evaluating responses; and
Planning interventions.
Common Mistakes with Homework

Too long or overwhelming;
Too much introspection;
Not enough guidance;
Trying to address too much and fix everything at once;
All confrontation or all encouragement (instead of a mixture of truth and

grace); and/or
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Forgetting to ask the parties to report what they learned from the
homework.
Guidelines
Include some biblical narrative to study and some teaching Bible verses to
reflect on;
Answer meaning questions about the texts;
Apply the questions to the current situation;
Analyze the current situation; and
Analyze some part of the persons own response.
Sample Homework Assignments

1. Identify your personal responses to this conflict based on the Slippery
Slope.
2.
Study the Slippery Slope and analyze all the responses to this conflict so
far.
3.
Read chapter 1 of The Peacemaker.

a. Identify your responses and the other partys responses.
b. What would be the most God-pleasing response to use now?
c. Identify the opportunities in this conflict.
d. How can you glorify God? Trust him? Obey him? Imitate him?
e. How can you serve others?
f. How can you grow to be like Christ?
4.
Read chapter 2 of The Peacemaker.

a. Write out a list of how you might have offended the other party. Then
write out a list of what offended you. Note which one easier to do.
b. Identify what is your responsibility in this conflict.
5.
Study the following passages of Scripture (be sure to list passages) and:
a. Identify one lesson you can learn and apply to your conflict.
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b. What does the passage teach you about God? About his redeeming
grace? About yourself?
6.
Write lyrics for a song that expresses your sense of Gods mercy and care
for you in these situations.
7.
Put your name into a psalm to personalize it.
8.
Make a drawing or sketch of what your relationship looks like before and
after the changes.
9.
Ask someone else to write out his or her story of conflict. After they have
done this, ask them to circle words or phrases that point to heart idols and
patterns in their behavior.
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Session
Peacemaking in My Heart
Community: The Church
Sessions 9 & 10 of this syllabus are designed to introduce
peacemaking in the context of the local church. We believe that
godly change in a community or culture comes from the insideout (first the church changes and then the church changes the
community). Therefore, we seek in these sessions to instill a
vision for peacemaking within the local churchwhat the
church is designed to be and look likeand then to promote
individual initiatives within the context of a church community.
The point of this entire course has not been to equip the
students as independent, self-actualizing peacemakers, but as
peacemakers who are part of a corporate vehicle and who
motivate the congregation towards transforming itself and
society.
Daily Objectives
1.
Recognize ways that their churches fall short of being peacemaking

communities and develop a vision for change.
2.
Understand the basic components of a peacemaking church.
3.
Apply these components to real-life situations.
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The Problem of Conflict in the Church

SMALL GROUP
EXERCISE: 15 MIN.

Divide the class into small groups to discuss examples of how conflict is managed in
their church community. Ask them to focus particularly on how conflicts have had
negative effectsboth short and long termon people and ministries.
Then have the groups answer the question, What can we do to address conflict more
effectively, and what are the inputs and/or barriers to creating a church or
organizational climate that fosters community and biblical peacemaking?
WHOLE GROUP
EXERCISE: 15 MIN.

Summarize the findings of the group with the whole class.
When the main findings have been summarized, see if they fit naturally into some of
the six categories that will be developed to understand the peacemaking church. (This
can be done by writing the six categories with space under each category, then asking
the class to place the findings into the categories.)
Record the answers for later use.
LECTURE: 10 MIN.
Lecture: Conflict in the Church

Everyone has experienced conflict in his church. Some conflicts are small and
insignificant, but many church conflicts have a significant impact on the effectiveness
and witness of the church. This lecture explores various ways that conflict impacts a
church body.
Understanding the Roots and Fruit of Peace

Transition to this section by stressing that we are moving into an examplethe Good
Samaritan parablethat demonstrates loving God and loving neighbor.
These Two Greatest Commandments reflect how God has revealed himself as a
relational God and also emphasize his design for peaceful relationships among people
(as discussed in sessions 1 and 2).
WHOLE GROUP BIBLE
DISCOVERY EXERCISE:
45 MIN.
Bible Discovery Exercise

Based on Luke 10:25-37, lead the students in a discussion of the Good Samaritan
parable and how it demonstrates Gods glory and shalom in six dimensions: vision,
leadership, community, reconciliation, assistance, and witness.
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(See the notes for detailed instructions.)

Record the answers for later use.
Lecture: Living Shalom as a Peacemaking Church

The parable of the Good Samaritan is a biblical narrative that illustrates how
compassion may be lived out to bring shalom to others.

Invite feedback from the students regarding the lecture on the Peacemaker Church.
LECTURE: 10 MIN.
WHOLE GROUP
DISCUSSION: 15 MIN.
The idea of the Peacemaker Church is to incarnate peace by intentionally replicating

Gods glory and shalom in six dimensions: vision, leadership, community, reconciliation,
assistance, and witness.
Discuss in more detail how each of the six elements might play out in the culture of a
church.
Ask if there are additional elements of a peacemaking culture that have not been
identified and should be added. If they are genuinely different, create a new category. If
they are related to one of the six existing categories, show how it should be a subcategory.
Case Studies
Divide the class into six (6) small groups.
CASE STUDIES: 60 MIN.

TOTAL, 20 MIN. IN SMALL
Assign each group one of the attached case studies and one of the six dimensions of a
peacemaker church. (For example, Group 1 will work on Case Study Number 1 and
the characteristic of Vision. Group 2 will work on Case Study Number 2 and the
characteristic of Leadership, and so on.)
Ask each group to develop a plan through which their assigned characteristic might
be implemented to resolve the conflict described in the case study.
Groups should spend around 20 minutes discussing their case study. Encourage the
students to draw on everything they have learned in the course in developing an action
plan.
After the groups have developed their plan, each group will have 5 minutes to present
its plan to the whole class.
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FOR PRESENTATIONS
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Homework
HOMEWORK: 10 MIN.
The Witness of a Peacemaking Church

The homework assignment will focus on the witness dynamic of a peacemaking
church.
Working either individually or in groups that come from the same congregation or
denomination, have students identify a plan for their churches to impact their
community with peacemaking.
This assignment requires the student to understand the six elements of a peacemaking
church (so the plan will start with the internal church community) as well as the
elements of shalom that will extend peace to the wider community (resulting in a plan to
reach the community outside of church membership).
This homework will be presented in the following class session or in small groups if
there are too many students to make a presentation to the entire class.
Note: This is a large homework assignment, so students will benefit by advance warning
to anticipate a large workload in their last week of the class.
Journaling
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Lecture Notes:
The Problem of Conflict in the Church
Objective
Instill students with a vision for how the skills of personal peacemaking can be applied
to the complex problems that confront their churches.
Introduction
In 1265-66 the Mongol Empire spanned Asia from the Black Sea to the Pacific
Ocean, and Khubilai Khan asked Marco Polo to persuade the Christian church in
Rome to send one hundred men to teach Christianity to his court. The Christians were
in such disarray fighting among themselves that it was twenty-eight years before a
single manlet alone a hundredreached the great court. Already retired, the
emperor said, It is too late, I have grown old in my idolatry.1
There are probably countless stories like this from church history, stories that show
how the church has been hindered in her mission because of conflict within. Not only
does the lack of unity destroy the churchs witness. It also prevents Christians from
working together to reach the lost.
You have just finished describing your own experience of conflict and ways that you
have seen its harmful effects firsthand. Conflict in the church is such a universal
experience that it is a rare person who cannot tell a story about a church conflict that
has hurt them or someone close to them.
Have you ever heard somebody say something like this?
The problem with Jesus is that he had disciples (Bertrand Russell), or If Christ were
here now, there is one thing he would not bea Christian (Mark Twain). Such
cutting remarks are not limited to grumpy old atheists. The witness of the church
before a watching world has turned such individual sentiments into national proverbs.
For example, there is a French proverb that observes, He who is near the church is
often far from God. And a German proverb remarks, In the visible church the true
Christians are invisible.2
David E. Garland, NIV Application Commentary: Mark (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1996) 376.
Alfred Poirier, Pastor as Peacemaker (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2006)..
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In addition to the destruction of a churchs witness, conflict has harmful effects on the
community and individuals in a church. For example, in the United States,3 there are
approximately 19,000 scarring church conflicts every year (an average of 50 per day),
and 1,500 pastors leave their assignments every month because of conflict, burnout, or
moral failure.4 This does not take into account the ways that churches and their
members are hurt by personal conflicts, abuse of authority, divorce, and the many
other ways that conflict weakens the relational bonds of a church. When a church is
weak relationally, it is vulnerable to many other kinds of attacks. Immediately after the
Apostle Paul exhorts Christians to fulfill the law by loving one another, he warns, If
you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by
each other (Gal. 5:15).
Even if you havent been affected by conflict in this way, have you ever wished that
people could just get along so that you could effectively work together in building
Christs kingdom? Many Christians have the sense that their church is not being and
doing all that it can, that they are not living up to their mission. They know that their
church should be a safe haven for broken people, a source of joyful and encouraging
relationships for all, and a beacon of light that contrasts to the dark world around
them. Yet they cannot seem to find a way to make this become a reality.
Peacemaking is a key way to begin restoring effective, life-changing ministry to the
church. And, yes, this ministry needs to be restored to the church because this is the
primary way that God has determined to carry out his work in the world. Just because
the church doesnt seem to be doing her job, or because she falls short in reaching
these biblical ideals, this is not license to abandon the church and work through
another means. The church is only institution that God has promised to preserve and
prosper throughout history. He promises to work in and through the church to
transform individuals, communities, and the world. God is seeking and creating
peacemakers who are committed to his Body and Bride, the church, and who are
committed to working through his Body in order to reach their culture.
There is a stark contrast between a community in conflict and the ideal of a community
that reflects Gods glory (see Session 1 and Ex. 34) and his peace (see Sessions 1 and 2
on shalom). You have now been presented with the vision (Sessions 1 and 2), and have
practiced some of the skills (Sessions 3-8) that enable you to lead and coach as a
peacemaker. As a future leader, you are in a position to bring shalom and its fruit to your
church. This lesson and the next are designed to help you narrow the gap between
what you know is Gods ideal for your church and the way that your church currently
operates.
Note to Professor: Please feel free to substitute statistics or other evidence of the high cost of conflict in your
own country, if available.
3
Ken Sande, The High Cost of Conflict Among Christians. website article, www.Peacemaker.net
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The goal of this courseand of your ministry as a peacemakeris that God will be
glorified and that his church will grow and be strengthened. It is not for your own glory
or merely for your personal use. Now we will look at an examplethe Good
Samaritan parablethat demonstrates loving God and loving neighbor, and how these
two demonstrate Gods glory and shalom.
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Bible Discovery Exercise: Bringing Shalom

Understanding the Roots and Fruit of Peace
Objectives
1. Recognize the Good Samaritan as a peacemaker in the fullest sense of our
understanding of shalom.
2.
Begin to intentionally think about the inputs that result in the fruit of
peace.
Introduction
First, read, or have the class read Luke 10: 25-37.
Examine the fruit of peace in the parable of the Good Samaritan. Ask the entire
class, How did the Samaritan reflect Gods glory (Ex. 34) and demonstrate peace
(shalom) to the wounded man? Permit the students to answer as they wish and record
the answers for use in Questions b-d, below.
We are using the Good Samaritan parable to highlight how Gods glory and shalom can
be lived out in an individual life in order to transition to the peacemaker church
model, in which these same characteristics can be found in the corporate life of a
congregation.
a. Now, tell the students that you want to help them think about this in a more
structured way. Understanding the Samaritans response in terms of a structure
makes it something that we can begin to understand and to intentionally replicate. We
will identify six dimensions in which the Samaritans response reflects Gods glory
and demonstrates peace, or shalom: a vision for Gods glory and shalom; a
willingness to lead; a concern for community; the practice of reconciliation;
provision of assistance; and the legacy of witness. These six characteristics are
explained in greater detail in Appendix C, The Peacemaker Church.
b. To help the students begin to think in these dimensions, create a discussion by
asking questions in which they respond to each characteristic. For example, Do you
think that the Samaritan had a vision for how people should relate to one another? What
would you say his vision was? How did he demonstrate it? Consider, as well, whether
any of their answers to the earlier question, How did the Samaritan reflect Gods glory
and peace? can be thought of as demonstrating the Samaritans vision.
c. Next, move on to the question of leadership. Did the Samaritan demonstrate
leadership? In what way? How does taking the initiative to do what is right, regardless
of your peers might think, demonstrate leadership? Do earlier student answers reflect
the Samaritans leadership?
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d. Use a similar approach to discuss the ideas of community, reconciliation, assistance

and witness. Compare their answers with the earlier student responses when that is
helpful.
e. Having identified six characteristics, or dimensions, in which the Samaritans
response reflects Gods glory and shalom, we want to next consider whether these six
dimensions could characterize the peacemaker church. To get at this, you might ask
a final question: What would our churches be like if they intentionally replicated in
their cultures these same six qualities that weve discussed in the Samaritan? In
answering this question, think back to our opening exercise today: Where does your
church demonstrate or fail to demonstrate these characteristics?
Suggested Guidelines for Student Responses
Vision: The Samaritan did not hesitate to identify with the human needs of the
wounded man. In doing so, he demonstrated the vision for a shalom community
in which people respond to one another with the grace of the gospel,
demonstrating the value of each person and stressing that true relationship is built
on love for one another.
Leadership: Peacemaking leaders model peacemaking behavior. The Samaritan
could have passed by on the other side of the road. Instead, he chose to take time
from his day to care for one who could not care for himself. The lawyer who
questioned Jesus in the passages quoted from Luke correctly quoted from the law,
but sought to defend his narrow and self-justifying interpretation of the law. Jesus
took the law and applied it to life with a God-glorifying and Kingdom-building
focus.
Community: Shalom-bearing communities treat one another with compassion and
respect. Such compassion is both an emotion and, as the Samaritan demonstrated,
a decision that results in community-building respectful acts.
Reconciliation: In reaching out to the member of another community, the Samaritan
demonstrated shalom toward not just a wounded traveler, but toward a member of
a group that despised him and his kin. True reconciliation is not seen only in
words, or experienced in feelings, but is demonstrated in actions.
Assistance: The Samaritan not only reached across ethnic boundaries, he provided
tangible assistance: oil, a donkey, money and more. He bound himself to the
wounded man by promising the innkeeper to underwrite any additional costs that
the wounded traveler might incur.
Witness: The actions of the Samaritan have spoken vividly across 2,000 years and still
impact us today. In a world that is increasingly connected electronically, who is my
neighbor? Our willingness to reach across ethnic, racial, social, language or other
boundaries as peacemakers is an indication of what resides in our hearts.
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Lecture Notes:
Living Shalom as a Peacemaking Church
Objectives
1. Understand the culture of a peacemaking church.
2.
Through case studies, practice applying one peacemaking characteristic to

a church in conflict.
Introduction
This is an introduction to a model a peacemaking church that has been developed by
Peacemaker Ministries. It is based on six elements that comprise a peacemaking
church: vision, leadership, community, reconciliation, assistance, and witness.
Overview
Members have a vision for demonstrating the power of the

gospel and preserving relationships through peacemaking.
Church leadership thoroughly equips the congregation for

peacemaking through consistent modeling and diligent teaching.
Community is continually built as members treat one another

with genuine compassion and respect, meeting one anothers
needs.
Members are skilled at seeking reconciliation and resolving

interpersonal conflicts biblically.
Members look to their church for assistance in resolving difficult disputes

and understand the important role played by accountability and church
discipline.
Growing peace and unity within the church overflow in a positive witness
to the outside world that not only draws others to Christ, but impacts the
surrounding community.
For a more in depth presentation of the six elements of a Peacemaker Church, please
see Appendix C, The Peacemaker Church.
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Case Studies: Peacemaking in the Church

1.
(Suggested Characteristic: Vision) Pastor Joel has a vision for

evangelism. He regularly encourages his people to accompany him in
personal evangelism, and his preaching always includes an opportunity for
people to repent and follow Christ. He usually encourages the Sunday
School classes to focus on basic evangelism and basic discipleship. Because
of his vision the church has grown. When there have been conflicts in the
past he usually felt that the problem was that the vision for evangelism had
become compromised. Therefore, he believed that the solution was to
rekindle the heart for reaching the lost. Recently there has been a personal
conflict between two of the elders. Both have a passion for evangelism,
but they have different positions on how to deal with a member who has
gotten into a moral dilemma. The church has never taken a strong stand
about church discipline.
2.
(Suggested Characteristic: Leadership) Pastor Ron is a well-trained

pastor with a passion for clear preaching and the ministry of the church.
The church receives new members at about the same rate that people
leave. The number of elders remains steady, but over the years most of the
elders have had a falling out with the pastor and have left, one at a time.
Because the pastor is well trained and has a high view of Scripture and the
church he attracts a steady number of interns. However, the relationship
between Pastor Ron and his interns almost always turns sour by the end of
a year when the intern would normally be leaving the post anyway. Few
interns keep an active relationship with the church once they leave.
3.
(Suggested Characteristic: Community) Unity in Christ Church is

founded on its homogenous membership. It has effectively ministered to a
working class of people who are from a similar social and ethnic
background. There are a few wealthier people in the church, but even their
background is among the working class like others in the church. Last year
a church member developed a close relationship with someone of a
different race who was unemployed most of the time. The members
intent was to help and disciple him in Christ within the church body. But a
number of people have grown uncomfortable since this person has
brought several of his friends. The concern seems to be that this new small
group of people do not really work hard and seem to always be begging
for assistance. They have very different values about what is important.
The member increasingly hears words of accusation and disparagement
against these new people and the matter is becoming a source of division
within the congregation as a whole.
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4.
(Suggested Characteristic: Reconciliation) Pastor Peter believes in

personal reconciliation but does not have a structure for conflict resolution
in the church. As the founding pastor, the church has been his ministry
and sometimes he seems to treat it as his personal family. When there is a
conflict, he personally intervenes with biblical peacemaking principles and
he is skilled in doing so. Recently, however, one of the other elders has had
a conflict with Pastor Peter and feels that there is no one to whom he can
turn for counsel. This elder feels that the pastor is actually part of the
problem and cannot be objective. Other leaders have left in the past
because they had similar feelings. The pastor seems able to resolve all the
conflicts in the church but his own.
5.
(Suggested Characteristic: Assistance) Helping Hand Ministry offers

conflict resolution to individuals and provides training in conflict
resolution for churches and agencies. Recently there was a disagreement
between the CEO and some of the board members about financial
reporting. The CEO felt that the corporate unity was threatened by the
dissenting board members and removed them from the board, replacing
them with more agreeable members. Since there was no contract with the
board members, there was no technical violation, but neither was there any
provision made for how the organization should or could resolve such a
dispute outside of the process used.
6.
(Suggested Characteristic: Witness) Shalom Community Church has many

active ministries in the community. It participates in a housing project and
provides food relief for the needy. Its vocational training program is widely
respected, and it is a showcase of diversity with multi-ethnic and multieconomic levels in its membership. Recently, however, a conflict arose
between ministry leaders about who would take over leadership of one
department after its leader stepped down. The conflict was handled on a
personal basis at first but significant issues continued to polarize the elders.
There is now open disagreement and the congregation is becoming
polarized. Since this is a community church, there is no denominational
structure to assist.
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10
Session
Bearing Shalom in Our

Communities
Daily Objectives
1.
Comprehend the model of a peace-bearing church in both Jesus ministry

and in the New Testament church.
2.
Study biblical narratives and identify the inputs that foster shalom.
3.
Apply the principles of bearing shalom in their own churches and create an
action plan for change.
Homework Presentation to Whole Group

Choose this or the next option.
HOMEWORK
Studentsindividuals or groupswill present their plans for how their churches can
bring shalom to their community through peacemaking.
PRESENTATION TO
Allow time after each presentation for the class to briefly discuss the strengths and
potential weaknesses of the plans. Choosing this option will limit the number of
presentations possible in the time allocated.
OR
Homework Presentation to Small Groups
Choose this or the previous option.
If the class is too large for students to present their plans to the whole group, divide the
class into groups of six so that each student has a maximum of ten (10) minutes to
explain his plan, and the group has a maximum of five (5) minutes to interact with the
plan.
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HOMEWORK
PRESENTATION IN SMALL
GROUPS: 90 MIN.
C O N F L I C T
A N D
Be sure that each group asks these kinds of questions about the plans presented:
1.
Does it include the elements necessary for a peacemaking church?
2.
Does it include multiple elements of shalom building?
3.
Is it do-able?
Transition
While each group will have great ideas for impacting their communities through
peacemaking, it is unlikely that many will have taken into account the specific action
steps necessary for implementing their plan. In other words, few students will have
specifically dealt with the topic of change and how to begin the process of change in
a church or community culture that is accustomed to the status quo.
With the students plans as the context, transition into the lecture about the biblical
principles of change. The students will later be asked to revisit their plans to take into
account these principles of change.
A Biblical View of Change

LECTURE: 15 MIN.
Lecture: Shalom in Sychar

Walk the class through the story of the woman at the well in John 4, focusing on how
Jesus intentionally brought shalom into the community of Sychar.
Emphasize that this story demonstrates the process by which Jesus brings about
change in a community: He begins with an individual and then impacts an entire
village.
Jesus gained passport by meeting the woman where she was (taking initiative),
beginning with a request (making himself vulnerable to her) and having a dialogue
rather than demanding change. As a result, this woman became Jesus strongest
advocate, and others were attracted by her testimony.
Conclude by highlighting the general characteristics of change in the Christian life.
SMALL GROUP

Groups from the homework assignment will reconvene, or individuals will form small
groups, in order to reconsider their plans for impacting their communities.
EXERCISE: 15 MIN.
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Students will answer the question, What specifically will you do to encourage the
change required for people in your churchthe decision makersto adopt your plan
and put it into practice?
Consider what Jesus did when he entered Sychar to bring about change in the life of
the woman he met and in the community. How you can you, as a peacemaker, apply
what Jesus did to your plan for your church and community?
Whole Group Debrief and Discussion

For the first fifteen (15) minutes, ask students to summarize how they would modify
their plans to take into account a biblical understanding of the process for change.
WHOLE GROUP
DISCUSSION: 30 MIN.
During the next fifteen (15) minutes, conclude the discussion by asking students to
answer the following question: Where does my responsibility to bring change end and
Gods begin? How do I allow for Gods timing when I am trying to bring about the
sort of change that I believe is close to Gods heart?
Ask students to support their answers with biblical texts and/or principles that they
have learned throughout the course.
(Note: Two texts to consider when contemplating our responsibility and Gods
responsibility are Romans 12:18 and 2 Timothy 2:24-26. Both speak of the limits of
human ability to change someone elses heart. A general rule is that our responsibility is
to speak the truth in love as clearly and as persuasively as possible; Gods responsibility
is to change people by his Holy Spirit.)
Course Debrief
Offer students the opportunity to reflect on what they have learned throughout the
course.
Do they have any questions that are still unanswered?
What impacted them the most?
What do they see as the most practical?
How do they see this course impacting their lives and their ministries, now
and in the future?
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COURSE DEBRIEF:
15 MIN.
C O N F L I C T
A N D
Course Evaluation
EVALUATION: 15 MIN.
Encourage students to set up a time when they can meet as accountability partners one
or two times after the course and encourage each other.
Individual course evaluations should be given. Either use the standard one that
your school normally uses or custom-make one for this course.
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Lecture Notes:
Shalom in Sychar
Objectives
1. Understand the pattern of peace-bringing repeated in the New Testament
ministry of Jesus and the process Jesus used to speak truth into someones
life.
2.
Identify aspects of peace-bringing that must be seen in our church

communities if we are to be change agents.
3.
Help students become agents of change in their churches and

communities.
Introduction
Samaria is one place Jesus chose to create a community model of shalom. He had
already used the despised Samaritan as an illustration of a peace-bearer in his discussion
with the lawyer. Now he actually takes his disciples into the midst of Samaria,
demonstrating the story of the Good Samaritan, and he takes the Samaritans role.
Jesus is intentional in teaching and living his vision of diversity. Normally Jews chose to
walk around Samaria. Jesus chose to walk through it. He chose to send his disciples to
find food in town while he waited at the well, which was the center of social life for
women. He is modeling leadership, instructing while he models. He instructed his
disciples about the value of womeneven an immoral Samaritan woman. He also
instructed that woman and all of her associates (John 4:39-41).
Jesus is intentional in his interventions. He sat by the well and asked for help. His
disciples had gone to buy food in what they assumed was a sinfully broken society.
Jesus seeks the help of one of the significant sin-bringers. His intervention was
compassionate, respectful, and reaching. He asked for physical water, but he offered
living water when the opportunity came.
Jesus is intentional in his healing. He did not speak to the woman only to quench his
thirst, but to offer deep healing to a wounded and broken person. She came at the
middle of the day when she could be sure to be alone without other women around.
Her place in the community was as an outcast, and she had become an outcast by her
sinful relationships with men from the city. Jesus wanted to bring healing to that
woman, to those men, and to the city. He began by healing the wound in their
understanding of who is and is not acceptable to God. He offered grace but not cheap
grace. He expected accountability if there was to be genuine healing. He was intentional
in allowing his disciples to see forgiveness and to be forgiving as they stayed several
days in this despised and outcast town that began to experience the healing of shalom.
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Although this story is from the New Testament, the narratives of the peacebearing community in both the Old Testament and the New Testament fit a clear
pattern. It is a pattern of being renewed by Gods grace and then being a part of
that renewing in others lives. The challenge is for us to better see what we have
and have not done so that we might become more intentional in bearing and in
being a part of Gods shalom for the world.
As we consider how we can become intentional shalom-bearers, we will recognize
that there are aspects of our personal lives, our churches, and our communities
that must change. Change can be a dangerous word, especially in the church.
Changing the traditions or practices of a church can trigger a major controversy.
This is why peacemaking is an important attitude and skill for church leaders to
havethese conflicts become opportunities!
Change is Gods Idea
In John 4, Jesus conversation with the Samaritan woman embodies five key biblical
principles related to change.
1.
Every Christian has a continual need to change. We have a tendency to

replace Gods commands with our manmade traditions (John 4:19-20).
God initiates this life-long process by giving us a new heart and a new
spirit (John 4:23; Ezek. 36:25-26; Rom. 8:9-11) and calls us to draw on
his grace as we are increasingly conformed to Christs image. (See also
Matt. 18:3; Rom. 12:2; Eph. 4:22-24.)
2.
People tend to resist change and hold onto their traditions. John 4:9 shows our
natural tendency to resist change, even when we desperately need it.
Resistance can range from passive to deliberate and intense. We must
learn to minister in the spirit of Philippians 2:1-11 and to intentionally
reach out to people, building a relationship out of which we can speak
into their lives (and they can speak into our lives).
3.
When we resist appropriate change, we are trying to be like God (John 4:25).
God is the only one who never changes (Ps. 102:25-27; Mal. 3:6; James
1:17). The Pharisees applied these same principles to their own rules
(Mark 7:5). God is eager to forgive us when we draw near to him and
repent of these tendencies (James 4:8-10; 2 Chron. 7:14).
4.
A mark of Christian maturity is openness to any change that will make us more
like Christ or our church more effective at proclaiming Christ. Note how Sychar
changed when the woman changed (John 4:39-42). Compare this
transformation to the Pharisees reaction to Jesus efforts to promote
repentance with the followers of John the Baptist in Luke 3:10-14.
God is pleased when we are eager to change our thoughts and ways to
align with his.
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C O N F L I C T
5.
A N D
Godly change requires discernment, wisdom, and patience. When Jesus taught
the woman, the people of Sychar and his disciples to change, he
explained the reason that it was appropriate, rather than making a bare
command (John 4:35-38). God wants us to be wise and mature, not tossed
back and forth by new ideas that come our way (Eph. 4:13-14; Rom. 12:2;
1 Thess. 5:21; 1 John 4:1). God-honoring changes are those that are
consistent with Gods will and that will likely edify the body of Christ.
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Appendix
Bibliography
All of these resources contain information that is beneficial to
the ministry of biblical peacemaking. However, Peacemaker
Ministries does not necessarily endorse each one in its entirety.
Biblical Helps
Campbell, Brian. Pearls: Scriptures to Live By. Lake Mary, Florida: New
Horizons Press, 1994.
Doriani, Daniel M. Putting the Truth to Work: The Theory and Practice of
Biblical Application. Phillipsburg, New Jersey: P&R Publishing, 2001.
Kruis, John G. Quick Scripture Reference for Counseling. Grand Rapids:

Baker Book House, 1988.
Poythress, Vern S. God Centered Biblical Interpretation. Phillipsburg, New

Jersey: Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing, 1999.
Sproul, R.C. Knowing Scripture. Downers Grove: Intervarsity Press,

1977.
Vine, W.E. Vines Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words.
Iowa Falls: Word Bible Publishers, 1981.
Church Conflict
Adams, Jay E. Sibling Rivalry in the Household of God. Denver: Accent

Books, 1988.
111
C O N F L I C T
A N D
Anderson, Neil T. and Mylander, Charles. Blessed Are the Peacemakers.

Ventura: Regal, 2002.
Buzzard, Lynn R. and Laurence Eck. Tell It To the Church. Elgin: David
C. Cook Publishing Co., 1982.
Dobsen, Edward G., Speed B. Leas, and Marshall Shelley. Mastering

Conflict and Controversy. Portland: Multnomah Press, 1992.
Edwards, Gene. Crucified by Christians. Sargent, Ga.: The SeedSowers,

1994.
Enroth, Ronald M. Churches That Abuse. Grand Rapids: Zondervan

Publishing House, 1992.
Fenton, Horace L., Jr. When Christians Clash. Downers Grove, Ill.:
InterVarsity Press, 1987.
Flynn, Leslie B. When the Saints Come Storming In. Wheaton: Victor
Books, 1988.
Gangel, Kenneth O., and Samuel L. Canine. Communication and Conflict

Management in Churches and Christian Organizations. Nashville: Broadman
Press, 1992.
Goetz, David. Forced Out: How Likely Are You to be Fired or

Pressured to Resign? The Startling Results of Leaderships New,
Nationwide Study. Leadership, Volume XVII, Number 1, Winter
1996.
Halverstadt, Hugh F. Managing

Westminster/John Knox Press, 1991.
Haugk, Kenneth C. Antagonists in the Church. Minneapolis: Augsburg,

1988.
Huttenlocker, Keith. Conflict and Caring. Grand Rapids: Zondervan,

1988.
Kniskern, J. Warren. Courting Disaster. Nashville: Broadman and

Holman, 1995.
Lowry, L. Randolph, and Richard W. Meyers. Conflict Management and

Counseling. Word Inc., 1991.
112
Church
Conflict.
Louisville:
C O N F L I C T
A N D
Martin, Frank. War in the Pews. Downers Grove, Ill.: InterVarsity Press,
1995.
Poirier, Alfred. The Peacemaking Pastor. Grand Rapids: Baker, 2006.
Qualben, James. Peace in the Parish. San Antonio: LangMarc Publishing,

1991.
Shelley, Marshall. Leading Your Church Through Conflict and Reconciliation.

Minneapolis: Bethany House Publishers, 1997.
Susek, Ron. Firestorm: Preventing and Overcoming Church Conflicts. Grand

Rapids, Michigan: Baker Books, 1999.
Thomas, Marlin E. Resolving Disputes in Christian Groups. Winnipeg:

Windflower Communications, 1994.
van der Linde, Dirk. When Its Christian vs. Christian. St. Louis:
Concordia Publishing House.
Van Yperen, Jim. Making Peace. Chicago: Moody Press, 2002.
Wecks, John. Free to Disagree. Grand Rapids: Kregel Resources, 1996.
Church Discipline
Adams, Jay E. Handbook on Church Discipline. Grand Rapids:

Zondervan, 1986.
Baker, Don. Beyond Forgiveness. Portland: Multnomah Press, 1984.
Buzzard, Lynn, and Thomas Brandon. Church Discipline and the Courts.
Wheaton: Tyndale, 1987.
Commission on Theology and Church Relations of the LCMS. Church

Discipline in the Christian Congregation. St. Louis: Concordia Publishing
House, 1985.
Gage, Ken and Joy. Restoring Fellowship. Chicago: Moody Press, 1984.
MacNair, Donald J. Restoration Gods Way. Philadelphia: Great

Commissions Publications, 1978.
Oden, Thomas C. Corrective Love: The Power of Communion Discipline. St.

Louis: Concordia Publishing House, 1995.
113
C O N F L I C T
A N D
South, Tommy. That We May Share His Holiness. Abilene: Bible Guides,
1997.
White, John, and Ken Blue. Healing the Wounded. Downers Grove, Ill.:
InterVarsity Press, 1985.
Church Organization/Management
Adams, Jay E. Sibling Rivalry in the Household of God. Denver: Account

Books, 1988.
Dever, Mark. Nine Marks of a Healthy Church. Wheaton: Crossway,

2000.
Mack, Wayne A., and David Swavely. Life in the Fathers House.
Phillipsburg, New Jersey: Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing, 1996.
MacNair, Donald J. The Practices of a Healthy Church. Phillipsburg, New

Jersey: Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing, 1999.
Sande, Ken. Managing Conflict in Your Church. Billings, Montana:

Peacemaker Ministries.
Community Conflict
Volf, Miroslov. Exclusion and Embrace. Nashville: Abingdon Press,

1989.
De Gruchy, John W., et al. The Church Struggle in South Africa. Grand
Rapids: Eerdmans, 1979.
Bonhoeffer, Dietrich. Letters and Papers from Prison. New York: Collier,
1971.
Asmal, Kader, Louise Asmal and Ronald Roberts. Reconciliation Through

Truth: A Reckoning of Apartheids Criminal Governance. Cape Town: David
Philip Publishers, 1996.
Counseling
Petty, James C. Step by Step: Divine Guidance for Ordinary Christians.

114
C O N F L I C T
A N D
Powlison, David. Seeing With New Eyes: Counseling and the Human
Condition Through the Lens of Scripture. Phillipsburg, New Jersey:
Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing, 2003.
Powlison, David. Speaking Truth in Love: Counsel in Community.

Winston-Salem, North Carolina: Punch Press, 2005.
Schlossberg, Herbert. Idols for Destruction: Christian Faith and its

Confrontation with American Society. Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas
Nelson Publishers, 1983.
Tripp, Paul David. Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens.

Tripp, Paul David. War of Words: Getting to the Heart of Your

Communication Struggles. Phillipsburg, New Jersey: Presbyterian and
Reformed Publishing, 2000.
Welch, Edward T. AddictionsA Banquet in the Grave: Finding Hope in the

Power of the Gospel. Phillipsburg, New Jersey: Presbyterian and
Reformed Publishing, 2001.
Welch, Edward T. Blame It on the Brain? Distinguishing Chemical

Imbalances, Brain Disorders and Disobedience. Phillipsburg, New Jersey:
Welch, Edward T. Depression: A Stubborn Darkness. Winston-Salem,

North Carolina: Punch Press, 2004.
Welch, Edward T. When People Are Big and God Is Small: Overcoming Peer
Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man. Phillipsburg, New Jersey:
Welch, Edward T. and Gary Steven Shogren. Addictive Behavior. Grand

Rapids: Baker Book House, 1995.
Welch, Edward T. and Gary Steven Shogren. Running in Circles: How to

Find Freedom from Addictive Behavior. Grand Rapids: Baker Book House,
1995.
Forgiveness
Adams, Jay E. From Forgiven to Forgiving. Wheaton: Victor Books, 1989.
115
C O N F L I C T
A N D
Barthel, Tara Klena, and Judy Dabler. Peacemaking WomenBiblical

Hope for Resolving Conflict. Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2005.
Morison, Patrick H. Forgive! As the Lord Forgave You. Phillipsburg, N.J.:

Sande, Ken.: The Peacemaker A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict.

Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2nd ed. 1997.
Legal Liability
Bloss, Julie L. The Church Guide to Employment Law. Christian Ministry

Resources, PO Box 1098, Matthews, NC 28106, 1993.
Buzzard, Lynn R., and Dan Hall. Clergy Confidentiality: A Time to Speak
and a Time to Be Silent. Christian Management Association, PO Box
4638, Diamond Bar, CA 91765, 1988.
Couser, Richard B. Managing Risks: First Steps in Identifying Congregational

Liability. Minneapolis, Minnesota: Augsburg Fortress, 1993.
Couser, Richard B. Ministry and the American Legal System. Minneapolis,

Minnesota: Fortress Press, 1993.
Couser, Richard B., and Mary Wilke. Sexual Misconduct in the Church. Orr
and Reno Professional Association, PO Box 709, Concord, NH
033030709
Eidsmoe, John. The Christian Legal Advisor. Milford, Michigan: Mott

Media, Inc., 1984.
Hammar, Richard R. Pastor, Church and Law. Matthews, North Carolina:

CMR Press, 3rd ed. 2000.
Hammar, Richard R., Steven W. Kilpowicz, and James F. Cobble, Jr.

Reducing the Risk of Child Abuse in Your Church. Christian Ministry
Resources, PO Box 1098, Matthews, NC 28106, 1993.
House, H. Wayne. Christian Ministries and the Law. Grand Rapids: Baker
Book House, 1992.
Kasper, Dennis R. Balancing Prevention and Risk. Pasadena: Fuller

Theological Seminary, 1993.
116
C O N F L I C T
A N D
Lansing, Carl F. Legal Defense Handbook. Colorado Springs: NavPress,

1992.
Levicoff, Steve. Christian Counseling and the Law. Chicago: Moody Press,
1991.
Marital Conflict
Adams, Jay E. Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage. Grand Rapids:

Zondervan, 1980.

Chapman, Gary. Hope for the Separated. Chicago: Moody Press, 1982.
Dobson, James. Love Must Be Tough. Waco: Word, 1983.
Kniskern, J. Warren. When the Vow Breaks. Nashville: Broadman and

Holman, 1993.
Talley, Jim. Reconcilable Differences. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1985.
Wheat, Ed. How to Save Your Marriage Alone. Grand Rapids: Zondervan,
1983.
Negotiation/Mediation/Arbitration
Commission on Theology and Church Relations of the LCMS. 1

Corinthians 6:11: An Exegetical Study. St. Louis: Concordia Publishing
House, 1991.
Fisher, Roger, William Ury, and Bruce Patton. Getting to Yes. New
York: Penguin Books, 2nd ed. 1991.
Jones, G. Brian, and Linda Phillips Jones. A Fight to the Better End.
Wheaton: Victor Books, 1989.
Lovenheim, Peter. Mediate, Dont Litigate. New York: McGrawHill,

1989.
Moore, Christopher W. The Mediation Process. JosseyBass, Inc., 1986.
117
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A N D
Personal Peacemaking

Sande, Corlette. The Young Peacemaker. Peacemaker Ministries, 1537

Avenue D., Ste. 352, Billings, MT 59102, 1997.
Sande, Ken. The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict.

Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2nd ed. 1997.
Sande, Ken and Ted Kober. Guiding People through Conflict. Peacemaker
Ministries, 1537 Avenue D, Suite 352, Billings, MT 59102,1998.
Sandmann, Donald. How to Resolve Conflicts: Empowered by Christ. St.

Louis: Concordia Publishing House.
Sexual Misconduct
Anderson, Bill. When Child Abuse Comes to Church. Minneapolis: Bethany House
Publishers, 1992.
Spiritual Guidance
Friesen, Garry. Decision Making and the Will of God. Portland: Multnomah Press,
1980.
Spiritual Warfare
Powlison, David. Power Encounters: Reclaiming Spiritual Warfare. Grand Rapids:
Baker, 1995.
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A N D
Appendix
Training to Failure,
Training to Success: The
Hidden Curriculum of
Seminary Education
Perry W.H. Shaw, OCI Institute for Excellence in
Leadership, Jordan, January 2006 (ed note: the following is an
excerpt only, not the entire article. Used by permission.)
As we seek to enhance the curricula of our schools it is essential that we look not only
at the content of the courses we fit into our catalog, but also at the structures,
processes, and methods that we promote. The hidden curriculum must absorb as
much of our attention as the explicit curriculum.
The ABCD of Learning
This is all very well, but do institutional theological programs have any options? I
would say, absolutely! What prevents creative change is a clear and honest
acknowledgement that there is a problem, and the recognition that theological
education can only be effective when the hidden curriculum is intentionally designed
rather than unintentionally accepted.
Many years ago Joe Bayly commented that the only similarity between Jesus way
of training and the seminarys is that each takes three years.5 I long to see our schools
rediscover the patterns of holistic leadership training exemplified in Jesus training of
5 Joe Bayly, quoted in Lawrence Richards, A Theology of Christian Education (Grand Rapids: Zondervan,1980)
163.
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his disciples. The first and most important step in the effective intentional design of the
hidden curriculum is to break out of our fixation with cognitive learning, to move
beyond mere rhetoric about head, heart, and hands to intentional multi-dimensional
curricular planning that embraces a broader understanding of learning.
Most of our institutions of theological education are appallingly anachronistic. We
decry secular rationalism while affirming through the hidden curriculum the basic
tenets of rationalism in our almost exclusive focus on the cognitive domain. Even
courses that are reputedly skill development, while perhaps requiring one or more
practical assignments, are largely theoretical in nature.6 Meanwhile, for over fifty years
educationalists have been discussing and analyzing what have now become known as
the three primary learning domains of affect, behaviour, and cognition.7 Only when
these three dimensions are embraced in a holistic concert can fundamental
transformationdispositional learningtake place. Only through a holistic
approach to education in seminary and church can our learners become increasingly
disposed to think and feel and act like Jesusthe ultimate goal of all Christian
teaching.8
Affective Domain
When the Bible speaks of knowing it is not speaking of some sort of objective
knowledge, but of a relationship. To know in the Scriptures is to have relationship
the relationship between God and a person, between God and the community,
between person and person.9 It is significant that in both Old Testament Hebrew and
New Testament Greek the term to know is used both for sexual intercourse and
for the relationship the believer should have with Godpointing to the passionate,
6 Of course one of the difficulties is that such ministerial activities as preaching and teaching have many
features of art forms, for which direction can be given in technique and style, but for which it is almost
impossible to teach the more essential elements of creativity, imagination and emotional sensibility. See W.
Edward Farley, Can Preaching Be Taught? Theology Today 62 (2005), 175-176.
7 These
three dimensions of learning were first analyzed in a systematic way in Benjamin S. Bloom, et.al.
Taxonomy of Educational Objectives (London: Longmans, 1956); David Krathwohl, et.al., Taxonomy of Educational
Objectives: The Classification of Educational Goals. Handbook II: Affective Domain (New York: David McKay, 1964)
and Elizabeth Simpson, Taxonomy of Objectives: Psychomotor Domain, unpublished manuscript,
University of Illinois Urbana, 1966. A more recent assessment of the original taxonomies can be found in
Lorin W. Anderson and David R. Krathwohl, eds, A Taxonomy for Learning, Teaching, and Assessing: A Revision of
Blooms Taxonomy of Educational Objectives (New York: Longman, 2001). One of the most articulate presentations
of learning dimensions in dialogue with Christian education is found in Klaus Issler, and Ronald Habermas.
How We Learn: A Christian Teachers Guide to Educational Psychology (Grand Rapids: Baker, 1994). See also William
Yount, Learning Theory for Christian Teachers, in Anthony, ed., Introducing Christian Education, 101-110.
8
Ephesians 4:13.
Donald E. Miller, Story and Context: An Introduction to Christian Education (Nashville: Abingdon, 1987) 271.
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personal, relational nature of knowledge.10 As such, the scriptural call to know God is
not a call to an objective theological understanding of Gods characteristics (even
though this can be of great value). Rather knowing God entails entry into an intimate
personal interactive relationship11 as children of a Heavenly Father, in relationship
with a community of brother and sister believers. In short, knowing in the Bible is
more an affective quality than a matter of cognitive mastery.
Although the affective domain is difficult to measure, it plays a critical role in
learningmore so than we usually acknowledge. Back in the 1960s David Krathwohl
and his associates developed a taxonomy of affective learning which continues to guide
committed teachers in understanding the role played by emotions, attitudes, and
motivations in learning, and the stages towards full affective embrace.12
The first stage of affective learning is Receiving: being willing to receive (or
attend to) a particular viewpoint. Unless students pay attention to what a
teacher says, rather than allowing their minds to wonder off to the film
they saw on television last night, the effect of the instruction given is
negligible or non-existent.
But passive receiving is a rather poor sort of learning. We want students

not simply to pay attention but to move to the level of Responding: where
not only do they listen but they actually do something with the material,
entering into classroom discussion, asking intelligent questions, or even
discussing key points with the instructor after class.
But serious instructors are not satisfied even with responding. They long to
see their students move to Valuing: where the students have wrestled with
a perspective and come to express a preference for the particular viewpoint
expressed.
But expression of preference is only meaningful when Organization takes

place: where the students internalise the material and begin acting on it in
practical ways.
10 James
Michael Lee, The Shape of Religious Instruction (Dayton: Pflaum, 1971) 16; Thomas Groome, Christian
Religious Education (San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1980) 141-145; Parker J. Palmer, To Know as We Are Known,
(San Francisco: Harper, 1993) 6-10, 20-25; Jim Wilhoit, Christian Education and the Search for Meaning (Grand
Rapids: Baker, 1998) 37-43.
11 Julie Gorman, Theres Got to be More!: Transformational Learning, Christian Education Journal Vol.
5NS:1 (Spring 2001), 48.
12 Krathwohl,
1956).
et al., Taxonomy of Educational Objectives. Handbook II: Affective Domain (New York: David McKay,
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The final goal is Characterisation: where the student builds his or her life
around the particular viewpoint and its value system.
If we were honest with ourselves I think you would agree that the level of affective
learning taking place in most of the classes held at our institutions is depressingly poor.
Where the goal is characterization, too often students merely survive what they
perceive us fundamentally boring, and the willingness even to reach the level of
receiving is largely the product of fear of failure rather than a genuine positive
motivation to engage with the material.
The heart of affective learning is the quality of the teacher-student relationship. Too
often we forget that Jesus was not so intent on teaching people religious content as he
was on beckoning people into a genuine relationship with him and into compassionate
relationships with one another.13 In a wide variety of formal studies14 it has been found
that while such qualities as a passionate love for the subject, knowledge of the material,
and creative teaching styles are common among exceptional teachers, even more so are
warmth, genuine concern for the students learning, even loveall characteristics
which speak of relationship and a hospitable classroom environment.15
If we are serious about nurturing Christian attitude and character it is not going to
occur through maintaining a formal emotional distance in the classroom but through a
relationship of love in which we mentor and model a life of quality to those God has
called us to develop as future leaders of his church.
Behavioral Domain
Albert Einstein once said, Knowledge is experience. Everything else is just
information.16
For a long time teachers in our seminaries have thought that if they could teach
students sound theology, Greek exegesis, and Church history, then these students
would begin to function like Christian leaders. We have assumed that students would
naturally put into practice what they learn in homiletics, education, and counseling
13 Thom
and Joani Schultz, The Dirt on Learning (Loveland: Group Publishing, 1999) 59-60.
See for example D.G. Ryans, Characteristics of Teachers ( Washington: ACE, 1960); N. Bennett, Teaching Styles
and Pupil Progress (London: Open Books, 1976); David Fontana, Teaching and Personality (Oxford: Basil
Blackwell, 1986); S.H. Birch and G.W. Ladd, The Teacher-Child Relationship and Childrens Early School
Adjustment, Journal of School Psychology, 35 (1997), 61-79.
14
15 The
motif of hospitable education is central to my educational philosophy. See Perry W.H. Shaw,
Education as Hospitality: A Christian Approach to Teaching and Learning, Theological Review XXIII:2
(Nov 2002), 115.
16 Albert
Einstein, quoted in Thom and Joani Schultz, Why Nobody Learns Much of Anything at Church,
(Loveland: Group Publishing, 1996) 117.
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classes. In short we have assumed that if we could persuade students to understand

and believe the right things, they would act accordingly.17
Over the past forty years, however, social scientists have found much evidence to
question that assumption. In 1964 Leon Festingers research led him to advance the
radical notion that the knowledge-behavior relationship actually works the other way
aroundthat is, people are more likely to behave their way into thinking than think
their way into behaving.18 In the years since Festingers seminal work the evidence has
continued to accumulate, increasingly pointing to the shocking conclusion that the
expressed beliefs of a group of people are almost worthless in predicting how they
behave.
This applies even among so-called active believers. Studies conducted by a Christian
researcher in the early 1990s discovered that conservative Christian students who were
orthodox in their belief about God and Jesus Christ and active in groups such as
Campus Crusade and Navigators were as likely to cheat and as disinclined to volunteer
as nonreligious and atheist students.19 As far as moral behavior is concerned, another
researcher concluded bluntly, religious belief appears to have little effect.20
Bill McNabb explains why this phenomenon occurs by observing that our beliefs
so seldom are translated into action because there is a [long] process that a thought
must survive before that thought becomes an action. When a teacher attempts to affect
17 This
section is adapted from a chapter entitled The Action-Attitude Principle: People Believe What They
Do More Than They Do What They Believe, found in Bill McNabb and Steven Mabry, Teaching the Bible
Creatively: How to Awaken Your Kids to Scripture (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1990) 73-81.
18 Leon Festinger, When Prophecy Fails: A Social and Psychological Study (New York: Harpercollins, 1964).
19 Quoted in Bill McNabb and Steven Mabry, Teaching the Bible Creatively: How to Awaken Your Kids to Scripture
(Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1990), 75.
20 David Myers, The Human Puzzle (New York: Harper & Row, 1978).
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a students behavior with a new thought, that teacher must navigate the following
steps:21
That is a long journey for a teachers message to travel before it takes root in students
lives. Is it any wonder that so few of our students put into practice what we teach?
At about the same time that researchers began finding problems with our long-held
understanding that our beliefs determine our actions, social scientists also found that
actions have a remarkable way of affecting beliefs. Consider the following examples:
In the laboratory and in everyday situations, evil acts shape the self. People induced to
harm an innocent victim typically come to disparage the victim. Those induced to
speak or write statements about which they have misgivings will often come to accept
their little lies. Saying becomes believing. Positive actionsresisting temptation, giving
help to someone, behaving in a friendly way in desegregated situationsalso shape the
self. Evil actions corrupt, but repentant actions renew. In the words of the great 19th
century educator Horace Bushnell, No truth is taught by words or learned by
intellectual means Truth must be lived into meaning before it can be truly
known.22 In short behavior impacts cognition more than cognition impacts behavior.
The key to this process of behavioral learning is understanding the principles associated
with the lost art of apprenticeship.23 How did the disciples learn how doctrine impacted
life? They served as apprentices to Jesus for three years. While few of our schools are
geared toward an apprenticeship model, anything we can do to enhance the behavioral
domain in our teaching will have a profound impact on the quality of the education we
offer. In the workshops I hope to bring some specific suggestions as to how this might
be done.
21 Bill McNabb and Steven Mabry, Teaching the Bible Creatively: How to Awaken Your Kids to Scripture (Grand
Rapids: Zondervan, 1990), 75
22 Horace Bushnell, Christian Nurture (Grand Rapids: Baker, 1979), originally published by Charles Scribner in
1861.
23 As a framework for understanding the process of meaningful apprenticeship, the educational psychologist
Elizabeth Simpson (Taxonomy of Objectives: Psychomotor Domain) has suggested seven stages of
behavioral learning which fit into three major instructional phases: (1) Preparation: (a) Perceptionbecoming
aware of objects and their qualities through one or more of the human senses; (b) Readinesspossessing the
readiness to perform a particular action; (2) Supervised Practice. Guided responseperforming under the
guidance of a skilled trainer; (3) Increasing excellence in performance: (a) Mechanismperforming a task
consistently with some degree of confidence and proficiency; (b) Complex overt responseperforming a task
with a high degree of confidence and proficiency; (c) Adaptationperforming new but related tasks based on
previously learned motor skills; (d) Originationusing understanding, abilities, and skills developed in the
psycho-motor area, the student creates new performances.
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Cognitive Domain
The cognitive domain of learning is the prime focus of most schoolsfrom
kindergarten to post-graduate. Cognitive learning is attractive in that it is easy to
control, easy to plan, and easy to measure. However, even in the realm of cognitive
learning our record is mediocre at best, as the focus in too many of our institutions has
remained on the acquisition of informationthe transmission of vast quantities of data
that students are required to learn and then regurgitate in the exams.
The acquisition of information is not enough: if we want to help our students to make
an impact on the world for Christ, we need to cultivate more sophisticated thinking
skillswe need to help them develop the ability to process and apply facts.
In the 1950s a group of educators led by Benjamin Bloom developed an analytic
framework for cognitive learning, in what has become popularly known as Blooms
Taxonomy of Educational Objectives.24 Bloom and his associates suggested that there
are six different levels of cognitive sophistication, as follows:
Knowledge: the simple remembering of facts.
Comprehension: understanding of what is being

communicated, and ability to make use of the
material at a simple level.
Application: the ability to use abstractions in

particular and concrete situations.
Analysis: the ability to break material down into its

constituent elements or parts such that the
relationship between ideas and the development of
logic is made clear.
Synthesis: the assembling of elements and parts so as

to form a whole. This involves the process of working with pieces, parts,
elements, and arranging and combining them in such a way as to constitute
a pattern or structure not clearly there before.
Evaluation: quantitative and qualitative judgments about the extent to which

materials and methods satisfy criteria.
It is clear that there is a certain hierarchy in Blooms taxonomy: knowledge is

preliminary to comprehension; comprehension is preliminary to analysis; analysis to
24 Bloom, et.al., Taxonomy of Educational Objectives.
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synthesis; and synthesis to intelligent evaluation. Moreover, the more deeply one grasps
the issues related to an idea or question, the more potentially powerful the application.
In tomorrows workshops I plan to give some specific means by which we can nurture
analytic, synthetic, and evaluative thinking among our students, and even more to help
them understand the connection between theory and life. Only when we challenge our
students to think more deeply and take steps towards living and leading theologically
can we claim to be fulfilling our holy calling of developing effective leaders for Gods
people.
Summary
The learning dimensions do not function in isolation but each affects the other:
positive attitudes motivate students to think more carefully and take risks in action;
experience changes belief and attitude; and right thinking provides guidelines for
evaluating both emotions and behavior. The concert of the ABCs of learning work
together to form the disposition of the student.
An imbalance between the learning dimensions creates distortions in the disposition: a

focus on the affective domain leads to ignorant pietism; a focus on the behavioral
domain leads to empty technical excellence; a focus on the cognitive domain leads to
the pride and irrelevance that are endemic among our graduates. Excellence in
theological education will recognize the need for a holistic balance which will lead to
the healthy dispositional formation of the emerging leaders entrusted to our care.
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Appendix
The Peacemaker Church

The following section is an expanded
explanation of the model that Peacemaker
Ministries has developed to explore the
dynamics of a peacemaking church. This
material is intended to enhance the content of
Session 9.
Vision: The Power of a Peacemaker Church

By this all men will know that you are my disciples,
if you love one another (John 13:35).
GOD DESIGNED THE CHURCH TO

NOT ONLY PREACH THE GOSPEL
BUT ALSO TO DEMONSTRATE
A Vision for Gospel-Centered Peacemaking
THE POWER OF THE GOSPEL TO

RECONCILE BROKEN
1.
RELATIONSHIPS.
Conflict attacks like a wolf:25
Obvious and aggressive
Biting and tearing
Crippling
Killing
The Wolfs Feast in

the United States:
25 See The High Cost of Conflict, in the articles section at www.Peacemaker.net
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35% divorce rate

19,000 church battles
23% of pastors fired
4-8 million lawsuits
Abuse nightmare
$20-$40 billion/yr
A crippled church
C O N F L I C T
2.
A N D
Conflict also attacks like a snake
Hidden and insidious
Coiling and choking
Poisoning
Killing
The Mark of the

the
Snake
3.
4.
Complaining
Gossip, backbiting
Criticism, judging
Bitterness, resentment
Unforgiveness
Apathy, superficiality
Denial, escape
But God uses conflict for good!
God placed conflict at the heart of His redemption plan (Gen. 3:15).
God uses conflict to demonstrate His saving grace (Gen. 50:19-20;

Esther).
God uses conflict to remind us of our need for him, reveal our sins, and
bring us to maturity, that is, to sanctify and disciple us (Rom. 5:3; James
1:2-4).
Peacemaking is how we join in Gods plan to use conflict for good.
Peacemaking reveals and magnifies Gods solution to sin and conflict: the
gospel of Jesus Christ (Eph. 2:11-22).
Peacemaking is a key to preserving relationships, which gives witness to

the presence and power of Christ in our lives and our churches (Matt. 5:9;
John 13:34-35; 17:20-23; 1 John 4:7-12).
5.
Thus peacemaking is an essential element of sanctification, discipleship, and

advancing the Great Commission (Matt. 28:18-20).
6.
Peacemaking does not come naturally. Entire congregations need guidance on

how to respond to conflict properly. This can be done by building a
Peacemaker Church, where members are encouraged and equipped to use
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biblical peacemaking to strengthen relationships, resolve conflict, enhance

outreach, and give witness to Jesus Christ.
A Peacemaker Church has six primary characteristics, which build on and reinforce
one another in a dynamic, cyclical manner:
7.
Members have a vision for demonstrating the power of the gospel and
preserving relationships through biblical peacemaking.
The church leadership team thoroughly equips the congregation for

peacemaking through consistent modeling and diligent teaching.
Community is continually being built as members treat one another with

genuine compassion and respect.
Members are skilled at seeking reconciliation and resolving conflict

biblically.
Members naturally look to their church for assistance and accountability

in resolving difficult conflicts.
Peace and unity in the church overflow in a positive witness to the outside
world that draws others to Christ (and the cycle continues).
Building a Peacemaker Church often requires a transformation of a churchs

peacemaking culture, which is a combination of its attitudes, customs, and
practices for resolving conflict.
This transformation usually involves a deliberate, long-term effort, with the
goal of developing a culture of peace.
8.
Cultural change takes time and effort, but it produces many benefits:
Pastors are taken out of the complaint loop and freed for other ministry.
Members use conflicts as opportunities to mature in faith and character.
Church ministries are more united and fruitful.
The congregation experiences fewer divorces and more stable families.
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Legal liability is reduced for church and its leaders.
Staff and volunteers serve longer and more productively.
God is glorified and people are drawn to His church.
All of which is a fulfillment of Jesus marvelous prayer for His beloved church:
May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved
them even as you have loved me (John 17:23).
CHURCH LEADERS ARE

THE KEY TO INSPIRING
AND TEACHING
Leaders as Peacemakers
Set an example for the believers in speech, in life,
in love, in faith and in purity(1 Tim. 4:12).
CHRISTIANS TO
RESPOND TO CONFLICT
BIBLICALLY.
1.
Conflict reveals what kind of shepherds a church really has.

The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he
abandons the sheep and runs away (John 10:12).
2.
God uses faithful shepherds to protect and deliver His church from conflict.
I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep (John 10:11).
Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers.
Be shepherds of the church of God, which he bought with his own blood (Acts 20:28).
3.
Peacemaking is an essential aspect of church leadership.

I ask you, loyal yokefellow, help these women who have contended at my side in the cause of
the gospel (Phil. 4:3; cf. Acts 9:26-28; Matt. 18:16; 1 Cor. 6:1-8).
4.
Leaders as peacemakers
Make every effort

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace (Eph. 4:3; cf.
Rom. 14:19; Heb. 12:14; Rom. 12:18).
Set an example in character and action, marking a path that others can
follow
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Set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. so
that everyone may see your progress (1 Tim. 4:11-15; Phil. 4:9).
5.
6.
Teach and instruct the flock, preparing them for works of service
It was he who gave some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for
works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up (Eph. 4:11-12).
Mediate and arbitrate disputes believers cannot resolve on their own

But if he will not listen, take one or two others along (Matt. 18:16; cf. 1 Cor. 6:1-8).
Go after those who strayto restore not to condemn

If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the
ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? (Matt. 18:12).
Train and delegate

The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone. Select capable men from all
the people and have them serve as judges for the people at all times (Exod. 18:18 22).
Anticipate sheep bites and respond gently

Those who oppose him he must gently instruct (2 Tim. 2:25).
How can you become a more effective peacemaker? (2 Tim. 2:15, 3:17)
Seminary training typically lacks practical how to guidance on

peacemaking.
The Bible is rich with promises, principles, and illustrations.
Read The Peacemaker and practice peacemaking with those closest to you.
Draw on practical application articles at www.Peacemaker.net (e.g. sexual

abuse).
Subscribe to Peacemaker publications for ongoing encouragement and

teaching.
Pursue Reconciler Training to learn how to guide others through conflict.
Transforming your church involves deliberate, long-term cultural change

Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to
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the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain (1 Cor.
15:58).
This change usually takes at least three years to occur and a lifetime to develop.
There are five phases:
7.
Exploring: one leader seriously studying peacemaking
Recruiting phase: win and train leaders and gifted members
Teaching phase: church-wide education
Discipling phase: model and practice
Multiplying phase: inspire and equip other churches
Building a Peacemaker Church can change your life as a church leader
Well done, good and faithful servant! (Matt. 25:21).
Recapture your vision for pastoral ministry
Refresh your marriage and family
Minister boldly without fear of conflict or legal liability
Rejoice in seeing your church achieve its full ministry potential
Anticipate presenting your church to Christ, as a radiant church, without

stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless (Eph. 5:27;
Rev. 21:2).
Be shepherds of Gods flock that is under your care and when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will
receive the crown of glory that will never fade away (1 Pet. 5:2, 4).
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Building Community
CONFLICT THRIVES ON
Live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic,

love as brothers, be compassionate and humble (1 Pet. 3:8).
WEAK RELATIONSHIPS
BUT FINDS FEW
FOOTHOLDS IN A
STRONG COMMUNITY.
1.
A strong church community stifles destructive conflict by preventing many

offenses from occurring in the first place, and by building bonds that hold
people together when conflict does arise (1 Pet. 3:8).
2.
Community thrives when people see their church as a real family (Gal. 6:10; 1
Tim. 1:2, 3:15, 3:4, 5:1-2; Matt. 5:22-23, 18:15; 1 Cor. 1:6).
3.
4.
Family, household
Father, mother
Sons, daughters
Brothers, sisters
Community thrives when people see their church as a real body (Rom. 12:3-8;
1 Cor. 12:12-27) that is:
Many parts, but one body
Combined, joined together, and arranged
By Gods design
For joyful one anothering (see Rom. 12:10; 14:19; 1 Cor. 12:25; Gal.
5:132; Eph. 4:2, 32; 5:21; Phil. 2:3; 1 Thess. 4:18; 5:15; Heb. 10:24)
Community thrives when people breathe grace to one another.
Breathe grace in from God, breathe grace out to others (1 Cor. 15:3; 1
John 4:19)
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C O N F L I C T
5.
A N D
Always bring the gospel: who God is, what he is like, and what he is doing
(John 4:7-26; 1 Cor. 1:4-9)
Notice, encourage, and praise what is good (Phil. 4:8; 1 Thess. 5:11; Rom.
16:1-24)
Be sensitive to how your words might offend others (Prov. 12:18; James
3:1-12)
Communicate so clearly you cannot be misunderstood (Matt. 7:12; Col.

4:4)
Offer loving correction: grace and truth (Eph. 4:15; John 1:14; Prov. 27:6)
Community thrives when people delight in passing Gods compassion on to

others (Eph. 4:32).
Practice regular fellowship and hospitality (Acts 2:42-47; 1 Pet. 4:9)
Bear with and overlook minor offenses (Prov. 19:11; Col. 3:13)
Comfort the lonely, the sick, and those who mourn (Rom. 12:15)
Sacrifice to meet the needs of others, especially those who are hard to love
(Acts. 4:23-37; 1 Tim. 5:16; Luke 6:27-36; Rom. 12:20)
Provide church diaconal care for the widowed, elderly, poor, or

unemployed (Matt. 25:36-40; Acts 6:1-7; James 1:27)
In four words: take time to love!
6.
Community thrives when people respect one another as image bearers of the
living God (Gen. 1:27; Eph. 4:22-24).
Accept one another as Christ accepted us (Rom. 15:7; 1 Pet. 5:5)
Respect and value one another regardless of racial, economic, age, or

gender differences (Acts 2:11-22; Gal. 3:26-39; James 2:1-9; 1 Tim. 5:1-2)
Listen to and express appreciation for others ideas, opinions, and service
to others (Phil. 2:3-4; 1 Cor. 12:12-27)
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Replace critical judgments with charitable judgments (Rom. 14:13; 1 Cor.

13:7) Out of love for God, I will strive to believe the best about others
until I have facts to prove otherwise.
Preserve peace and guard others reputations by actively resisting gossip

and slander (Prov. 26:20; James 4:11)
Never give up on a relationship or leave a church without making every

effort to listen carefully and humbly, explain your concerns, and resolve
your differences (Rom. 12:18)
God calls Christians to give special respect to their leaders, who are to act
as humble servants who are worthy of respect (1 Thess. 5:12-13; 1 Tim.
5:17; Heb. 13:17; Mark 10:42-45; 1 Tim. 3:8; James 3:1; 1 Pet. 5:1-4).
Reconciliation: Personal Peacemaking

Blessed are the peacemakers, for the will be called the sons of
God (Matt. 5:9)
SCRIPTURE PROVIDES
PRACTICAL AND
POWERFUL TOOLS FOR
1.
Conflict is a difference of opinion or purpose that frustrates someones goals

or desires.
2.
Conflict puts us on the Slippery Slope: escaping, attacking, or peacemaking.
3.
Conflict starts in the heart as desires turn into demands (which become
controlling idols).
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Dont they come from your desires that battle
within you? You want something but dont get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have
what you want. You quarrel and fight (James 4:1-2).
4.
The gospel of Christ provides the motivation and model for peacemaking!
Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners (1 Tim. 1:15).
The Four Gs of Peacemaking
135
RESOLVING EVERY
KIND OF CONFLICT.
C O N F L I C T
5.
6.
A N D
Glorify God (1 Cor. 10:31)
Get the log out of your eye (Matt. 7:3)
Gently restore (Gal. 6:1)
Go and be reconciled (Matt. 5:24)
Glorify God by seeing conflict as an opportunity.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause
anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God - even as I try to please
everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they
may be saved. Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ (1 Cor. 10:31-11:1).
Opportunity #1: Glorify God
Opportunity #2: Serve other people
Opportunity #3: Grow to be like Christ
Get the log out of your eye

You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove
the speck from your brother's eye (Matt. 7:5; cf. Prov. 28:13; Luke 15:11-24; 19:1-9).
The Seven A's of Confession:
7.
Address everyone involved
Avoid if, but, and maybe
Admit specifically (behavior and desire)
Acknowledge the hurt
Accept the consequences
Alter your behavior
Ask for forgiveness (and Allow time)
Gently restore.
If someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently (Gal. 6:1).
Overlook minor offenses (Prov. 19:11; see also 12:16; 17:14; 1 Pet. 4:8;
Col. 3:13)
136
C O N F L I C T
8.
A N D
Breathe grace and hope through the gospel (John 4:7-26; 1 Cor. 1:2-9; Col.
3:12)
Work through conflicts as privately as possible, but involve others if

needed (Matt. 18:15-17; 1 Cor. 6:1-8)
Go and be reconciled.
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you (Col. 3:12-14; cf. Matt. 18:21-35; 1 Cor. 13:5; Ps.
103:12).
The Four Promises of Forgiveness:
9.
I will not dwell on this incident.
I will not bring this incident up and use it against you.
I will not talk to others about this incident.
I will not allow this incident to stand between us or hinder our personal
relationship.
Go deeper by studying The Peacemaker and then by leading a small group or

Sunday school class.
Assisted Peacemaking: Counseling One Another

If he will not listen, take one or two others along (Matt.
18:16).
GOD HAS GIVEN THE

CHURCH SPECIAL
WISDOM, GIFTS, AND
1.
The church is Gods chosen peacemaking forum for believers in conflict.
United in Christ through the gospel, we stick together, even in conflict. See:
Galatians 6:1
Philippians 4:3
Matthew 18:15-20
AUTHORITY TO ASSIST
BELIEVERS IN
RESOLVING PERSONAL,
FAMILY, BUSINESS,
AND LEGAL CONFLICTS
THEY CANNOT
RESOLVE ALONE.
137
C O N F L I C T
2.
3.
4.
5.
A N D
1 Corinthians 6:1-8
The primary roles of a peacemaker:
Conflict coach: help one person plan how to resolve a conflict personally
and privately.
Mediator: work with two people to improve communication and

understanding so that they can arrive at a mutually agreeable agreement
(Matt 18:16).
Arbitrator: listen to both sides in a dispute and make a binding decision (1

Cor. 6:1-8).
Build and maintain passport so people can answer yes to these questions:
Can I trust you?
Do you really care about me?
Can you actually help me?
Strive earnestly to provide the 3 Ps of satisfaction.
Process satisfaction (1 Cor. 14:40): A clear and fair process in which

everyone has a reasonable opportunity to present his or her side of the
matter.
Personal satisfaction (Matt. 7:12, James 2:1-4): Everyone is treated

respectfully and equally.
Product satisfaction (Prov. 28:5): The final solution to a conflict is just and
equitable.
Help people to negotiate substantive issues.

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others (Phil. 2:4;
cf. 1 Sam. 25:1-35; Esther; 5:1-7:10; Daniel 1:8-16).
The PAUSE Principle:
138
C O N F L I C T
6.
A N D
Prepare
Affirm relationships
Understand interests
Search for creative solutions
Evaluate options objectively and reasonably
The secondary roles of a peacemaker include:
Facilitator (Matt. 18:16)
Intercessor (Phil. 1:9)
Referee and protector (1 Thess. 5:14-15)
Trust-builder (Acts 9: 26-27)
Teacher and counselor (2 Tim. 2:24-26)
Corrector and exhorter (2 Tim. 4:2)

Guiding People Through Conflict (included in Leaders PeacePack) illustrates how
church leaders can apply biblical coaching and mediation principles in five
common conflict scenarios.
7.
Build a reconciler network.
Delegation is a key to effective reconciliation ministry (Ex. 18:17-23). Train

both leaders and gifted lay people to give the congregation easy access to
advice and to relieve leaders of the need to be involved in simple conflicts.
Peacemaker Ministries Reconciler Training Program includes 15 hours of

training by audio or videotape, and a choice of two two-day live
practicums (coaching or mediation) involving realistic church oriented
role-plays.
Experienced reconcilers can staff a Church-Based Reconciliation

Ministry to serve members and, eventually, your community as an
evangelistic outreach.
139
C O N F L I C T
A N D
Assistance: Mutual Accountability

MUTUAL
ACCOUNTABILITY AND
Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin,

you who are spiritual should restore him gently (Gal. 6:1).
DISCIPLINE ARE GODS

GIFTS AND BLESSINGS
TO THE CHURCH.
1.
Excellence in any area of life requires being taught what is right and corrected
on what is wrong. The church has traditionally called this discipline or
accountability.
2.
Formative discipline (Acts 2:42-47)99% of discipline is equipping the saints

for works of service.
3.
Corrective or restorative discipline seeks to restore saints who have fallen away
(Matt. 18:12-32). This usually requires a major change of mindset in many
churches.
Step 1What should you do when someone does something that you
think is wrong? The world says, Mind your own business, Live and let
live, Be tolerant.
What does God say? If your brother sins against you, go and show
him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you
have won your brother over (Matt. 18:15; cf. Lev. 19:17; Prov.
9:8; 19:15; Gal. 6:1-2; James 5:19-20).
Nothing is more cruel than the tenderness that consigns another to his
sin. Nothing is more compassionate than the severe rebuke that calls a
brother back from the path of sin. (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together)
Step 2But what if others dont listen to us? What if they keep on doing
something we believe is wrong? The world says, Tell anyone and
everyone about it.
What does God say? If he will not listen to you, take one or two
others along so that every matter may be established by the
testimony of two or three witnesses (Matt. 18:16).
140
C O N F L I C T
A N D
Step 3But what if others get involved and the person still wont change?
The world says, Weve done all we can, so lets just drop it.
What does God say? If he refuses to listen to them tell it to the
church (Matt. 18:17; Acts 15:1-2, 6).
Step 4But what if the person still wont repent, even after others in the
church do all they can to persuade him to repent? The world takes, Judge
not lest ye be judged, out of context and says, Dont force your values
on me.
What does God say? If he refuses to listen even to the church, treat
him as you would a pagan or a tax collector (Matt. 18:17b; cf. vs.
18-20; 1 Cor. 5:9-13; Titus 3:10).
Step 5What if a person repents of his sin and wants to be reconciled?

The world says, Ill forgive you when you deserve it or have suffered a
while.
What does God say? Forgive your brother from your heart
seventy-seven times (Matt. 18:32, 22), and Forgive and comfort
him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow (2
Cor. 2:7).
4.
5.
The blessings of church discipline include:
Restoring those who have wandered away from the Lord, thus preserving
important relationships, especially marriages (Matt. 18:12).
Protecting others in the church from falling into similar sin (1 Cor. 5:1-7).
Honoring God and revealing the power of the gospel.
Barriers to church discipline include:
Being seduced by the worlds contempt for responsibility and

accountability.
141
C O N F L I C T
6.
A N D
Abuse of church discipline.
Fearing resistance, difficulty, or legal liability more than we love and fear
God.
Develop a culture of peace where discipline is valued and properly practiced.
Teach the full spectrum of peacemaking steps so people see discipline in

context.
Emphasize the bookends of love, showing that discipline is primarily

about love, restoration, and forgiveness (Prov. 3:12; Matt. 18:12-14, 23-35).
Encourage testimonies about the blessings of mutual accountability.
Encourage believers to commit themselves fully to the church

(membership).
Upgrade bylaws and new members classes to lay a foundation for

accountability and discipline.
The Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in (Prov. 3:12).
Witness: The Appealing Witness of Unity

May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know
that you sent me (John 17:23).
1.
Unity is essential for an effective Christian witness.
True unity reveals the reality of Christ and identifies us as His disciples
(John 13:34-35; 17:23).
If the churchs unity is to point to Christ, it must exceed the unity

unbelievers easily achieve around worldly causes (cf. Luke 6:27-36).
Christian unity is not centered on a cause, but on a person: Jesus Christ.
142
C O N F L I C T
A N D
True Christian unity enhances the productivity of the church and

overflows in a positive witness to the outside world that draws others to
Christ.
TRUE CHRISTIAN
UNITY ENHANCES THE
PRODUCTIVITY OF THE
CHURCH AND
OVERFLOWS IN A
2.
Where does Christian unity come from and what is it like?
3.
4.
People do not create unity. It originates in the unity of the Trinity and is
given to the church by the Father through the Spirit because of what
Christ did for us at the cross (Eph. 2:11-22). We cannot destroy Christian
unity, but we can fail to demonstrate it.
Christian unity is being one in spirit and purpose by loving Jesus Christ
and making him known to others (Phil. 2:2; Rom. 15:5-6), while delighting
in the diverse ways that other believers may experience and communicate
His love (Rom. 12:3-8; 1 Cor. 12:12-27).
Thus, unity is not uniformity. Instead, it is like an orchestra with many

instruments blending together under one conductor to play one glorious
composition.
Five commitments are needed to demonstrate unity (Eph. 4:1-16):
A commitment to love Jesus Christ above all things and to sacrifice all of our
mini-agendas for His sake (Eph. 4:1, 15-16; Gal. 2:20).
A commitment to sound doctrine, which never sacrifices the truth but always
prioritizes it in a spirit of grace (Eph. 4:4-6, 13; John 1:14; Eph. 4:15).
A commitment to develop Christ-like character, especially humility and

submission (Eph. 4:2-3; Rom. 12:3; Phil. 2:3-4; 1 Pet. 3:8).
A commitment to respect and pursue God-given diversity and accept one another
as Christ has accepted us (Eph. 4:11; Rom. 12:3-8; 14:13; 15:7; Phil. 3:15;
Col. 3:11).
A commitment to strive earnestly and prayerfully to resolve conflicts, seek

agreement, and preserve relationships despite personal differences (Eph.
4:3; 1 Cor. 1:10; Rom. 12:18).
The evidence and fruit of unity include:
143
POSITIVE WITNESS TO
THE OUTSIDE WORLD
THAT DRAWS OTHERS
TO CHRIST.
C O N F L I C T
5.
A N D
A harmony of shared lives, with people constantly meeting, eating, praying,

worshiping, reaching decisions together (Acts. 1:14; 2:46; Rom. 12:16; 1 Pet.
3:8).
No worldly discrimination based on race, gender, age, or economic status

(Gal. 3:26-29).
Leaders who seek true unity (sincere agreement) rather than an imposed
uniformity (Phil. 2:1-4).
People who are free and able to respectfully disagree with one another
(Phil. 3:15).
Disagreements over vision and goals that are resolved in a constructive

manner (Acts 15:1-35).
Low turnover in staff and membership.
A spirit of harmony that allows people to work effectively toward goals

(Acts 4:32-37).
God intends that our unity and peace to overflow and draw others to Christ.
Because stable, loving relationships are enormously appealing to others (Acts 2:4247), we are called to equip and encourage members to use peacemaking as a
witness for Christ by:
Drawing children and families to church with peacemaking vacation Bible

school.
Establishing Church-Based Reconciliation Ministries to serve our

communities.
Equipping missionary teams to model and teach peacemaking in other

lands.
Inspiring neighboring churches by hosting peacemaker training events.
Encouraging new church plants to make peacemaking part of their original

DNA.
144

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PEACEMAKER MINISTRIES

A B.A. Level Course Syllabus

You, Your Church,

SELF -EVALUATION OF IDOLS OF THE HEART ........................................................................................................................... 46

CHURCH ORGANIZATION /MANAGEMENT .............................................................................................................................. 114

UNIT HOURS: THIRTY

Identify core causes of conflicts;

Evaluate a variety of issues in conflict resolution;

Develop a theology and philosophy of ministry in conflicted situations;

Apply biblical principles to various kinds of conflict;

Illustrate biblical conflict and reconciliation procedures in their cultural

Develop skills in conflict resolution;

Develop a passion for peace and reconciliation in personal, church, and

Seek to grow in their peacemaking skills.

A group of one, or a nominal group is often overlooked. Many times

Each participant in the course has something to contribute to others. This

Suggested Guidelines for

Of the moment: Keep confidential what you are told by another

Of reference: During discussions, you may have occasion to

Instructional Materials and Equipment

Chalk board or newsprint boards,

Class Participation: 30%

Major Paper: 50%

Textbooks and Journals for This Course

Poirier, Alfred. The Peacemaking Pastor. Grand Rapids: Baker, 2006.

Sande, Ken. The Peacemaker. Grand Rapids: Baker, 2004.

Textbooks for further readings:

Adams, Jay. From Forgiven to Forgiving. New York: Calvary Press,

Asmal, Kader, Louise Asmal and Ronald Roberts. Reconciliation

Barthel, Tara Klena and Judy Dabler. Peacemaking Women: Biblical

Kruis, John G. Quick Scripture Reference for Counseling. Grand Rapids:

Powlison, David. Seeing With New Eyes. Phillipsburg: P&R Publishing,

Sande, Ken. Peacemaking for Families. Wheaton: Tyndale, 2002.

Tripp, Paul David. Instruments in the Redeemers Hands. Phillipsburg:

Tripp, Paul David. War of Words. Phillipsburg: P&R Publishing, 2000.

Welch, Edward T. Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave. Phillipsburg:

Van Yperen, Jim. Making Peace. Chicago: Moody Press, 2002.

Volf, Miroslov. Exclusion and Embrace. Nashville: Abingdon Press,

Identify how peace is a basic part of Gods triune character.

Analyze biblical texts to define, recognize and apply the meaning of

Analyze and identify Gods use of conflict in the redemptive process.

Overall course goals

Knowing Gods Glory in Reconciliation

SMALL GROUPS: 30 MIN.

WHOLE GROUP: 25 MIN.

Bible Search Small Groups

How is the glory of Christ and the Father seen in peacemaking?

How is the unity of God seen in peacemaking? Define unity.

What is the role of law in peacemaking? Identify the place of law in

What is the role of grace in peacemaking? Identify the place of grace

Whole Group Discussion

Knowing Gods Purpose of Shalom

SMALL GROUPS: 20 MIN.

Who is this story about? What are their relationships?

What are the emotions or feelings that are expressed?

What is the awareness or knowledge base of the parties as they make

What do these narratives show about the character of God?

Key ideas I learned today include

Something difficult about todays lesson was

One thing I want to do as result of todays lesson is

Video Lecture Notes:

Lecture Notes: Shalom

Knowing Gods Purpose Worksheet

Who is the story