PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara

PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara

Parents, Families, Friends and Allies United with LGBTQ People

PO Box 617
Buffalo, NY 14207
716-883-0384

info@pflagbuffalo.org
www.pflagbuffalo.org
www.facebook.com/pflag.niagara

September Meeting
Sunday, September 20 @ 2:30-5:00
Kenilworth United Church of Christ
45 Dalton Drive, Tonawanda, NY 14223

The sharing meetings are held at Kenilworth United Church of Christ, 45 Dalton Drive, Tonawanda 14223,
from 2:30-5:00. Newcomers and anyone interested will be offered the option of meeting privately with a PFLAG
parent. Our monthly meetings are in the library, which is near the parking lot entrance. The facility is
handicapped accessible. New Parents Meetings are scheduled as needed at a location convenient to those
involved. These self-help one-on-one meetings deal with the concerns of parents and family members who
have recently learned that a loved one is gay.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________

We meet because we have learned that someone very close to us is Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender. We try to help one
another deal with this information in a positive manner. Although we do not agree at all times, we try to be understanding. We offer
help to those who seek it, but do not force ourselves on others. We strive to maintain anonymity while sharing on a level that is
comfortable for all of us. We encourage all to attend meetings for their own

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7 BACK TO SCHOOL TIPS FOR LGBT PARENTS

By Tracy Flynn, August 15, 2013

Fall is always a time of anticipation. With that can come excitement and anxiety for
our children and in ourselves.
Here are some tips for LGBT-headed households as we all head back to school.
1.) Start your school routines early. If meal and bed times change during the school year,
start that process early to help with your child adjusting.
2.) Establish back to school rituals and routines. In our family, it was a time for new
haircuts (for mom, too) and new shoes. We also took a first day of school photo every
year, K12.
3.) Be proactive. Give your child's teacher a heads up about your expectations as a
parent and how you'd like them to address and respond to other children's questions
about your family. Most teachers want to do a good job and will be better able to do that
if we help them with language that describes our families. Our children's teachers were
happy to hear from us and felt supported by our actionsin turn, they supported our
children.
4.) Notice if your child is excited or anxious about the return to school. Check in with
them and find out why. Engage them in a conversation about school safety and having
and being an ally. Help them to identify adults (and other children) they can turn to while
at school for support.
5.) Be realistic, not overly worried. We don't need to be overly worried about our children
feeling safe and welcomed at school, but it is important that we be realistic. Sometimes

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children, including children from LGBTQ-headed households, can be teased or bullied for
their differences.
6.) Build resilience. Help your child feel proud of who they are and where they come
from. Share stories and read books that reflect your family in a positive light. Share
books you like with your child's teacher, too. (The Welcoming Schools bibliography can
help with this.)
7.) Don't go it alone. As parents, it can be isolating and confusingremember we are
continuing to learn right along with our children. It can be helpful to tap into any
resources available at your child's school, be they of the educational or financial variety.
Work to build your own support network; our network included lots of LGBTQ families,
but also plenty of other family structures. This support can help you be the best parent
you can be.
Through its Welcoming Schools program, the Human Rights Campaign Foundation
works to give educators, parents and administrators in school districts across the country
the necessary tools to create learning environments in which all students are welcomed
and respected. Learn more at WelcomingSchools.org

10 LGBTQ YOUNG ADULT NOVELS TO MAKE IT BETTER

By Malindo Lo, Huffington Post, September 18, 2012
Earlier this year, an article in the New York Times described recent neuroscience
research that showed that reading enables us to better understand and empathize with
other people. Dr. Keith Oatley, an emeritus professor of cognitive psychology at the
University of Toronto, told the New York Times: "Just as computer simulations can help
us get to grips with complex problems such as flying a plane or forecasting the weather,
so novels, stories and dramas can help us understand the complexities of social life."Of
course, any dedicated reader (or writer) could have told you the same without the
research, but it's lovely to have the facts to back up our instincts.

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The ability of the printed page (or the e-reader) to act as a doorway into another
world, where I can vicariously experience someone else's life -- safely, freely -- has
always been the reason that reading is one of my favorite activities.
For teens (or anyone, really) who is living in a real world where they're unable to
be themselves, or where they're struggling to figure out who that self is at all, reading
can be a wonderful way to imagine different possibilities. That's why books can be so
important to teens coming to terms with their sexual orientations, particularly if they're
not in environments that are supportive to them.
When I was asked to compile a list of ten young adult novels about LGBTQ
characters for The Huffington Post's series on anti-bullying (to combat the negative ideas
about being gay that bullies often spread), I reached out to a group of librarians and
bloggers who are working on the Queer Bookshelf, a comprehensive bibliography of
LGBTQ YA fiction.
I wanted to make sure that this list was representative -- as much as possible -of all the letters in the QUILTBAG spectrum. So this list contains books about lesbians,
bisexual girls and boys, gay boys, transgender teens, and queer and questioning teens. I
focused on books with a positive outlook, and I aimed for a mix of "classics" and new
books while also seeking out characters of color.
I hope that queer teens will find a book for them in this list, and if they don't (or
even if they do), I highly recommend they stop by their library and talk to the librarian,
because there are many more books about LGBTQ teens being published today than can
fit in a list of ten. Thanks to Michael Cart, Elizabeth Chapman, Erica Gillingham, KT
Horning, Daisy Porter, Nancy Silverrod, and Lee Wind for their suggestions. The final list
was made by me. Happy reading!
'Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe' by Benjamin Alire
Senz (Simon & Schuster BFYR, 2012)
In the summer of 1987 in El Paso, Texas, 15-year-old Mexican American Aristotle
Mendoza, known as Ari, meets a boy named Dante Quintana at the local swimming pool.
Ari is

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closed up and often angry, and struggles with his family's secret: his brother is in prison,
and his parents never mention it. Meanwhile, Dante is sensitive and intellectual, with a
family he loves. As Ari and Dante's friendship develops, Dante falls in love with Ari. As
Publishers Weekly noted, "It's a tender, honest exploration of identity and sexuality, and
a passionate reminder that love--whether romantic or familial--should be open, free, and
without shame."
'Beauty Queens' by Libba Bray (Scholastic, 2011)
In this satirical novel, a plane full of Miss Teen Dream beauty pageant contestants
crashes onto a desert island, where they must struggle to survive in the face of giant
snakes, a sinister Corporation (that has suggestive ties to the Miss Team Dream
pageant), and an Elvis-obsessed dictator named MoMo B. ChaCha.
It's all in the name of sending up our cultural obsession with beauty, and the
diverse cast of crashed beauty queens includes lesbian, bisexual, and transgender
characters. The New York Times declared, "Beauty Queens is a madcap surrealist satire
of the world in which [Libba Bray's] readers have come of age--reality TV, corporate
sponsorship, product placement, beauty obsession--but ultimately, it's a story of
empowering self-discovery."
'Boy Meets Boy' by David Levithan (Alfred A. Knopf, 2003)
When high school sophomore Paul meets Noah -- a newly arrived senior -- at a
bookstore, Paul falls into immediate crush. In some YA novels, this kind of experience
would be followed up with coming-out issues, but there's no need for that here, because
Paul has known he was gay for a long time. "I've always known I was gay, but it wasn't
confirmed until I was in kindergarten," Paul explains. "It was my teacher who said so. I
twas right there on my kindergarten report card: PAUL IS DEFINITELY GAY AND HAS
VERY GOOD SENSE OF SELF." From the book's first pages, it's clear that Paul's world
could be called a "gaytopia," in which it's way more than okay to be gay. This
groundbreaking novel is a modern classic.
'Boyfriends With Girlfriends' by Alex Sanchez (Simon & Schuster BFYR, 2011 )

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Sergio, a bisexual teen, meets Lance, a gay teen, online, and the two arrange for a
date at the local mall. Each brings a friend with them; Sergio brings his lesbian best
friend Kimiko, while Lance brings his straight (or is she?) friend Allie. In this fast-paced,
soapy story, Kimiko falls for Allie, who realizes she might not be as straight as she
thought she was, while Lance
struggles to accept Sergio's bisexuality. In a starred review, Booklist stated, "Sanchez
[has] written another innovative, important book that explores, with empathy and
sympathy, largely ignored aspects of teen sexual identity. While lip service is routinely
given to these aspects in the acronym GLBTQ, there have been only a handful of novels
that so plausibly and dramatically bring the nature of bisexuality and sexual questioning
to life."

'The Difference Between You and Me' by Madeleine George (Viking, 2012)
Fifteen-year-old Jesse Halberstam wears big green fisherman's boots, cuts her hair
with a Swiss Army knife, and plasters the school with posters from NOLAW, the National
Organization to Liberate All Weirdos. Jesse came out when she was fourteen.
Emily Miller is student council vice president, wears cardigans from J. Crew, and is
seeking out corporate sponsorship for the school's formal dance. Emily has a long-term
boyfriend. The only thing Jesse and Emily boyfriend. The only thing Jesse and Emily have
in common is every Tuesday afternoon in the library bathroom, where they make out in
secret. Told in alternating chapters, this sharp, funny book explores love, politics, and
what really makes us who we are. It's not necessarily sexual orientation.
'Empress of the World' by Sara Ryan (Viking, 2001)
Nicola Lancaster wants to be an archaeologist, and she hopes to focus on that when she
attends the Siegel Institute Summer Program for Gifted Youth. But her first day there she
notices Battle Hall Davies, a girl with beautiful blond hair who is also a dancer. Over the

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course of the summer, Nic and Battle's friendship develops into something more, forcing
Nic, who thought she was straight, to question her sexual orientation. Written in the first
person with excerpts from Nic's journal, Empress of the World realistically and
sympathetically explores bisexuality and friendship.
'I Am J' by Cris Beam (Little, Brown, 2011)
Seventeen-year-old J was born "Jenifer," but J has never felt like a girl. He has
always felt like a boy. This story about J's transition from female to male takes J away
from his home to an LGBT high school and a transgender support group in Manhattan,
where he finds a community of trans folk. In a starred review, Booklist described I Am J
as "Easily the best book to date about the complicated condition of being a transsexual
teen, not only sharing
important information that is artfully woven into the plot but also creating, in is artfully
woven into the plot but also creating, in J, a multilayered, absolutely believable character
whose pain readers will share. Perhaps most importantly, the author brings clarity and
charity to a state of being that has too long been misunderstood, ignored, and deplored."
Its Our Prom (So Deal With It) Anne Peters (Little, Brown, 2012)
High school senior Azure is recruited by her principal to turn their school's
traditional prom into an "alternative prom" that will include everyone -- not just the
popular kids who can afford to spend a lot of money on tuxes and limos. Azure invites
her best friends, Luke, a
theater geek, and Radhika, a straight-A student, to help out. One problem? Both Azure
(who is an out lesbian) and Luke (who is openly bisexual) have crushes on Radhika.
'Parrotfish' by Ellen Wittlinger (Simon & Schuster BFYR, 2007)
When Angela Katz-MacNair comes out as transgendered, he chooses a new name:
Grady. His family and friends struggle with his new identity, but Grady finds support in
unexpected places, including a classmate who explains that parrot fish can change their
gender, and a beautiful popular girl who seems to understand him. VOYA raved, "Peopled

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with wonderfully wacky characters and scenes, this narrative snaps and crackles with wit,
even while it touches the spirit of the sensitive reader."
'Wildthorn' by Jane Eagland (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2010)
In this historical novel set in nineteenth-century England, seventeen-year-old Louisa
Cosgrove is locked into Wildthorn Hall, an insane asylum for women, and is told that her
name is Lucy Childs. The mystery of why Louisa has been sentenced to the madhouse
under this different name unfolds through flashbacks that I will not reveal here, but
suffice it to say: Louisa's not straight. After an attempt to run away from the asylum,
Louisa is moved into a ward for seriously insane women, and the only kindness she finds
comes from an attendant, Eliza. Though the setup might make readers believe there can
be no happy ending, Wildthorn is a rare YA historical novel written in the Sarah Waters
mode -- which means yes, happy endings are possible, even for lesbians in nineteenth
century England. Louisa is moved into a ward for seriously insane women, and the only
kindness she finds comes from an attendant, Eliza. Though the setup might make
readers believe there can be no happy ending, Wildthorn is a
rare YA historical novel written in the Sarah Waters mode -- which means yes, happy
endings are possible, even for lesbians in nineteenth century England.

Interested in reading and/or sharing ideas for other works of LGBT fiction? We
cannot post all titles and lists here, but if you go to www. goodreads.com you
will find other lists, titles, and summaries.
https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/21984.Best_Gay_Novels_for_Young_A
dults
https://www.goodreads.com/shelf/show/lgbt-fiction

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FISHER PRICE AND PROUD PARENTING CAMPAIGN AIMS TO INCREASE

VISIBILITY OF LGBT PARENTS
By Curtis Wong, June 16, 2015, The Huffington Post

]
Fisher-Price is hoping to increase the visibility of same-sex parents with a new, allinclusive photo campaign.
The toy company has teamed up with Proud Parenting, an online community forum
for LGBT parents, for the launch of the Proud Parenting LGBT Family Photo Gallery. The
project is a curated photo collection of LGBT parents and their families that will be
featured across digital media outlets and promoted by Gay Ad Network on a number of
websites and mobile apps. You can check out the photo gallery on the web, as well as on
Facebook and Instagram.

Proud Parenting Editor-in-Chief Jeff Bennett says he hopes the campaign will help
"lead the way for a new generation of families." A press release pointed to an estimated
three million LGBT Americans who are parents, and six million Americans who have a
parent who identifies as LGBT. "Fisher-Price is proud to help all parents give their children
the best possible start in life," Hailey Sullivan, Fisher-Price's Director of Marketing, said in
a press release.

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Meanwhile, the effort also earned praise from Gabriel Blau of the Family Equality
Council, who applauded Fisher-Price for "sharing our family stories with the nation."
Fisher-Price is owned by Mattel, whose iconic lineup of brands also includes Barbie,
Hot Wheels and American Girl, among others.

PFLAG BUFFALO-NIAGARA BOARD OF DIRECTORS

Phil Salemi, Jr., President

Lisbeth Ball, Director

Amy Fularz, Vice President

David Barrett, Director

Kristian Rickard, Vice President

Sharon Barrett, Director

Brian Carrier, Treasurer

Ann Carrier, Director

Michele Perry, Secretary

Julie Christiano, Director

PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara

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Make checks payable to PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara and mail to: P.O. Box 617 Buffalo, NY 14207
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PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara, is a non-profit, all volunteer, community-based

organization not affiliated with any ethnic, religious, economic or political
group. Membership is open to all. PFLAG membership lists are kept confidential.

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