WORKING

WITH DESIRE: Three Approaches By Matthieu Ricard

In Tibetan Buddhism, there are three traditional approaches to disturbing emotions,
including afflictive desire. The first method is to develop an antidote. In the case of desire,
one such antidote is the cultivation of nonattachment to desired objects. This way, the
practitioner can neutralize afflictive desire. With the second method, the practitioner, rather
than focusing on a desired object, instead examines the nature of desire itself, and in
discovering its insubstantiality, frees himself of its pull. With the third method, which is said
to be a powerful catalyst but also the most difficult and dangerous technique, the practitioner
uses desire as path, turning its energy into fuel for practice. The metaphor commonly used
for the latter method is the peacock, which eats poisonous substances only to make its
feathers more brilliant.

Buddhism does not advocate the suppression of all desires, but rather offers the means to
gain freedom from afflictive emotions. The desire for food when one is hungry, the aspiration
to work for peace in the world, the thirst for knowledge, the wish to share ones life with dear
ones, or the yearning for freedom from suffering: all of these can contribute to lasting
happiness as long as they are not tainted by craving and grasping. Like the other emotions,
desire can be experienced either in a constructive or in an afflictive way. It can be the catalyst
for a meaningful lifeor the maelstrom that wrecks it.

Usually, when a desire arises, we either satisfy or repress it. In the first case, we surrender
our self-control; in the second case, a painful conflict builds up. The problem with merely
satisfying a desire is that we set into motion a self-perpetuating mechanism: the more salty
water we drink, the thirstier we feel. This is how we become addicted to the causes of
suffering. But once we know how to have a dialogue with our emotions, the intensity and
frequency of the mental images that trigger desire will diminish, and we will become less
influenced by desire, without having to repress it in any way. The few images that still arise
will be like fleeting sparks in the vast expanse of the mind.

If we lack inner freedom, any intense sensory experience can generate strong attachments
that entangle us. On the other hand, if we know how to perfectly maintain our inner freedom,
we can experience all sensations within the pristine simplicity of the present moment, in a
state of well-being that is free from grasping and expectation.

When desire is particularly intense and is experienced as an affliction, we begin by using
antidotes. Two diametrically opposed mental states cannot arise at the same time toward the
same object. For example, we cannot wish to harm and benefit another person at the same
instant, just as we cannot shake someones hand and give him a punch in the same gesture.
The more we generate inner freedom from attachment, the less room there will be for
craving in our mental landscape. If we use the antidote of nonattachment each time a craving
arises, not only will it be effectively counteracted but also the very tendency to crave will
gradually erode until it eventually disappears.

The crucial point is to maintain constant vigilance over and awareness of our mental state so
that, at the moment that afflictive emotions rise up, they will not trigger a chain of deluded
thoughts. Thus, we neither let desire overwhelm our mind, nor do we repress it while leaving
it intact in a hidden corner of the mind. We simply become free from its alienating power.

In the second method, instead of trying to counteract every afflictive emotion with a
particular antidote, we act on a more fundamental level and use a single antidote to deal with

all afflictions. If we examine our emotions and trains of thought without suppressing their
natural activity, we find that they are nothing but dynamic streams devoid of intrinsic
existence. So, instead of trying to block desire, we can simply examine its true nature. In such
a practice, we focus our attention on desire itself, rather than on its object. Does desire have
any shape or color? Where does it come from? Where does it dwell? Where does it go when it
vanishes from the mind? Is it burning us like a fire, or pulling us like a rope? All we can say is
that desire arises in the mind, stays in it for a while, and dissolves in it. The more we try to
find any intrinsic characteristics in desire, the more it melts away under our gaze, as frost
under the morning sun.

In Buddhism this is called liberating desire by recognizing its empty nature. By doing so, we
deactivate its power to cause suffering. Once we have gained some degree of experience, this
liberation will happen spontaneously and effortlessly, like the dissolution of a drawing made
with the finger on the surface of water. In this way, thoughts will no longer perpetuate in an
obsessive stream. Rather, they will cross the mind like birds passing through space, without
leaving any trace.

The third method is the most subtle and difficult. If we carefully examine our emotions, we
discover that, like musical notes, they have various harmonics. Just as anger has an aspect of
clarity, desire has a component of bliss that is distinct from craving. If we know how to
distinguish these aspects, it becomes possible to experience a blissful state of mind without
being affected by the deluded aspect of grasping. We become aware that emotions are not
intrinsically afflictive but only become so when we identify with them and grasp onto them.
If we succeed in avoiding such a fixation, there is no need to use external antidotes: the
emotions themselves act as catalysts that allow us to disengage from their negative influence.
When a good swimmer falls into the sea, it is the water itself that allows her to swim to
safety.

Thus, for those who are able to master the most intimate mental processes, passions can be
used as wood to fuel the fire of spiritual realization and altruism. Such a practice, however,
requires great skill in the language of emotions and is not free from dangers: to let powerful
emotions express themselves without falling prey to them is like playing with fire. If one
succeeds, one will greatly progress in understanding the nature of mind; if one fails, one is
enslaved by the ordinary ways of experiencing desire.

The different methods to free oneself from destructive emotions are like keys: it does not
matter whether a key is made of iron, silver, or gold, as long at it opens the door to freedom.
The question is not which approach is superior to the others, but which one fulfills for us
the essential goal of the path of inner transformation. When we suffer from a particular
ailment, the best medicine is not the most expensive one, but the one that works best.

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Dealing with Craving

Desire is a mainly a drive. You may desire to save the planet or to free all sentient beings
from suffering. But when desires become entangled with craving and powerful attachments,
our experience shows that they lead to suffering.

Desire usually starts with an image. If the image is enticing and promises pleasure, it triggers
a chain reaction. There is a thirst to attract or to obtain the object seen in the mental image.

From that point, we begin superimposing on reality and perceiving only the desirable
qualities of the object. Soon, all its negative aspects and consequences become invisible.

Pleasant experiences often triggers further craving, since one wants to renew the pleasant
sensation. This gradually establishes a pattern of wanting. At some point, the pleasure can
wane and yet the wanting persists. When one builds up a strong wanting for something that
is no more enjoyable, one is really caught.
We cannot hope for some magic solution that will rid us suddenly of all our cravings, since
they have build up over time. But a perseverant training of the mind can gradually erode
these strong tendencies.

One way to do so it to stop identification with our craving. Usually we identify with our
emotions completely. When we are overcome by desire, we are at one with that feeling. It is
omnipresent in our mind. The mind, however, is always capable of examining what is
happening within it. All we need to do is observe our emotions in the same way we would
observe an external event taking place in front of us. The part of our mind that is aware of
desire is just simply awareit is not craving. We can step back, realize that this craving has
no solidity, and allow enough space for it to dissolve by itself. Let our mind relax into the
peace of awareness, free from hope and fear, and appreciate the freshness of the present
moment, which acts like a balm to the burning of desire.