EI for Administrators

Why is EI critical for Administrators?

When a person is intelligent in ones field or subject, it means that the person has an in-depth understanding of
that area or subject. This type of intelligence results from worldly experience and knowledge especially in
ones own field. These intelligent persons usually solve complex problems in their respective fields or subjects.
But it has been observed that such intelligent persons sometimes expect the persons around them to be as
intelligent as themselves. When their expectations are not met by the persons around them, they may exhibit
emotionally unintelligent behavior by looking down on them. Therefore, EI is critical for building harmonious
relationships with people in our work and social environment.

Looking at the importance of EI from the perspective of administering or managing an organisation, an

emotionally intelligent administrator is sensitive to the emotional states of self and others. This sensitivity
enables the emotionally intelligent administrator to motivate self and others to perform at an optimum level.
On the other hand, lack of EI in an administrator is likely to reduce the morale of the persons working in the
organisation. Thus, EI is essential for administrators to build and maintain relationships with the members of
their respective organisations at all hierarchical levels. EI enables Administrators to resolve conflicts among
the members of their respective organisations. Administrators with high EI make their organisations work with
high synergy and efficiency. EI is crucial for people management including self management.

EI and psychological conditioning

A stimulus from the environment invokes a specific response from an individual. If the stimulus repeats in the
environment, it is likely to invoke the same response again from the individual. This repetition of stimulusresponse is known as Conditioning. If the experience was pleasant, the individual is likely to repeat the same
behavior by engaging in the activity again. On the other hand, the individuals response is likely to be
avoidance if the experience was painful or unpleasant. Psychological conditioning happens in both the
scenarios. Emotionally intelligent behavior can very well be a result of years of conditioning. The same logic is
true for emotionally unintelligent behavior too.

EI with sub-ordinates
Being emotionally intelligent with ones sub-ordinates is usually tougher than being emotionally intelligent
with ones superior or Head due to the difference in power or status. If the process of an organisation
emphasizes obedience to instructions from superiors, it becomes even more difficult to be emotionally
intelligent with ones sub-ordinates. If people have been obeying a person in a very senior powerful position
over several years, it becomes even more challenging for the person in power to be emotionally intelligent. The
reason is the conditioned behavior of all the persons involved. Obedience has become an established habit in

such a scenario. The powerful person is conditioned to expect obedience to his or her instructions every time.
The sub ordinates are conditioned to be obedient to the instructions every time. Even if the sub-ordinates do
not agree with each and every instruction, they are mostly afraid to disagree. So they do not express their
feelings of disagreement openly. As we have already seen before, feelings become emotions when their
intensity increases. Suppressed feelings become suppressed emotions over a period of time. If the powerful
person never bothers to ask the sub-ordinates how they feel about their instructions, the suppressed emotions
are very likely to turn into dormant volcanoes. The sub ordinates are likely to explode any time in anger. Since
they cannot explode against their respective powerful superiors or bosses, they usually explode against their
respective sub-ordinates or other weaker individuals in the vicinity. As a result, the morale of the entire
organisation is corroded over a period of time. Hence, it is essential for Administrators to be emotionally
intelligent with their sub-ordinates.

EI with superiors
Earlier, I spoke on why it is difficult for a powerful person to be emotionally intelligent with his or her subordinates. Is it easy for a sub ordinate to be emotionally intelligent with his or her superior/boss? Let us step
into the shoes of the sub-ordinate in order to understand the situation from his or her perspective. It is fairly
easy to see that the crucial factor in this case is the quality of the relationship between the sub-ordinate and the
superior. If the sub-ordinate has worked with success over a period of time with the superior, being
emotionally intelligent is very easy for both of them. On the other hand, if they have met with very little
success while working together then it is very difficult to be emotionally intelligent. This holds true for both
the superior as well as the sub-ordinate. Everyone would agree that it is always a mixture of success and failure
in life. The key is to keep the net result a success. Therefore, the sub-ordinate is likely to encounter challenges
in being emotionally intelligent with the superior at times. This happens when the sub-ordinate has been
feeling stressed out at work for a significant period of time. When a person is stressed out, errors occur and
completing projects quickly becomes increasingly difficult. It is really annoying for the sub ordinate if his or
her superior/Head suddenly assigns another large project without inquiring about the current work overload of
the sub-ordinate. The top people in the organisations tend to accept work overload as part and parcel of their
professional lives for the sake of promotions and other benefits. On the other side, fears of losing jobs, perks,
hikes etc. tend to make the sub-ordinates accept the higher workloads in spite of being aware of the risks to
their physical and mental well-being. In such scenarios, work and targets receive topmost priorities irrespective
of emotions. So emotions are neglected for the sake of performance and output. Hence, EI is totally out of
picture until stress burnout occurs due to work overload. The sub ordinate should take care not to wait until
(s)he burns out; (s)he should identify emotions within self and superior and persuade the superior in advance to
see the risks of ignoring EI. After all, prevention is better than cure!

Competencies of Emotionally Intelligent Persons

Emotionally intelligent persons behave in certain specific competencies. And they are:

Self-awareness
An emotionally intelligent person is aware of his or her own emotions and feelings. They understand their own
behavior both internal and external. Hence, they can regulate their emotions and channelize them
constructively. As a result, they feel realistically confident about their own skills and strengths while being
aware of their own weaknesses and shortcomings. They accept their mistakes proactively and take corrective
actions quickly. Once one is aware of ones own emotions and feelings, it is easier to empathize with and
understand the emotions of the people in ones environment.

Respect for self and others

Persons with high EI understand that it is impossible to be perfect all the time. They learn from their mistakes
and try to improve themselves. They accept themselves while trying to improve. They understand that the same
logic applies to the other persons as well. Hence, they have a general respect for self and others while trying to
improve self and others around them. When mistakes occur, they criticize self or others without putting anyone
down. Emotionally intelligent people value not only their own self-respect but respect the other persons as
well.

Stress management skills

Persons with high EI know themselves very well. Hence, they know when their stress level is approaching the
threshold. Once their stress level is nearing the maximum limit, they consciously make an attempt to manage
the stress levels. In fact, stress tolerance and management is a key attribute of an emotionally intelligent
individual. Every administrative set will have its own share of stress quotient, therefore it is advisable for
administrators to develop their stress tolerance abilities.

Balanced temperament
Emotionally intelligent individuals have a balanced temperament. Have you noticed that some people never
seem to get angry or stressed? These individuals look relaxed and friendly all the time! The fact is that
everyone gets upset and angry but people with high EI know exactly why they get upset and angry. So when
they are able to notice their anger they immediately neutralize it without making any visible attempt in
suppressing it. Hence, they have a balanced temperament. They understand the importance of both head
(common sense) and heart (emotions) and maintain the right balance.

Attentiveness and empathy

Listening and observation are precise when the listener or the observer is in a state of keen attention. A person
in distress often feels light after talking about it to someone. Therefore, just listening attentively usually helps
the other person. There are persons who do not open up easily. Yet the eyes, face and body language often
expose their true emotional states. In order to pick up these non-verbal signs, one has to be a keen observer.
Persons with high EI are keenly attentive and they usually pick up these non-verbal signs. Once they observe
the distress signs, they take the initiative to go and ask the person how (s)he feels and/or whether everything is
fine. The affected person usually opens up and begins to talk about their emotional states and the associated
events. Emotionally intelligent persons are good at stepping into the other persons shoes and empathizing with
her or him.
Awareness of others feelings
An emotionally intelligent person is aware of the mutual feelings among the persons in his or her circle. (S)he
knows how each person in their circle feels towards each other. Therefore, (s)he is capable of promoting team
spirit and friendship among his or her team members. Most importantly, they do not use this awareness of
others feelings for selfish purposes such as politicking, emotional manipulation etc. They use it only for the
common good.

Excellent communication skills

There is no point in identifying and understanding the emotions of self and others if the emotions cannot be
communicated. Persons with high EI communicate emotions very well. Communication of emotions involves
both speaking and listening in an emotionally meaningful manner. A major part of communicating emotions
involves non-verbal cues. We have already seen that emotionally intelligent persons are keen observers and
listeners. So they pick up non verbal cues quite easily. They understand the value of non-verbal cues in sending
messages. So they use eye contact, eye movements, facial expressions, physical touch and body language to
send non-verbal messages about their emotions as well as in response to the messages about emotions from the
others. A simple pat on the back or a smile can lift the morale of the other person more than a long talk or
advice. Persons with high EI communicate such encouraging non-verbal messages very well.

Simplicity and clarity

Persons with high EI keep things simple and clear. As a result, others find it easy to understand them and viceversa. Once the initial understanding is established through simplicity and clarity, the relationship develops fast
leading to frequent win-win situations. Stress level never goes up when things are kept simple and clear.
Communication gap never occurs and even if it does, it is easily resolved due to simplicity and clarity.
Mistakes are accepted and corrective measures are taken immediately when things are simple and clear. If
complexity and/or confusion arise, emotionally intelligent persons sit down with the other persons involved
and simplify things together as a team.

Role-oriented team player

Emotionally intelligent persons understand themselves as well as the other team members. They understand the
other teams / groups within their organisation over a period of time. Individuals are by nature unique. So,
emotionally intelligent persons are aware of each team members strengths and weaknesses including their
own. They are aware of the roles played by each team member and how one team members weaknesses are
covered by another team members strengths. Therefore, they stick to their specific roles and fulfill the
responsibilities associated with their respective roles without stepping on another team members toes. As a
result, the chances of politics and conflicts within the team are minimized significantly. The whole team
benefits due to the role-oriented behavior of emotionally intelligent persons.

Conflict resolution and negotiation skills

Emotionally intelligent persons face conflicts directly and do not try to avoid or evade it. They may be
extremely anxious but they manage their emotions well. They have the ability of identifying the root cause of a
conflict and this makes it easy to resolve conflicts of any nature. Since they have already handled their own
inner conflicts, they can resolve the conflicts occurring outside them as well. They do not try to escape or look
for shortcuts. They bring together the persons involved in the conflict, persuade each person to understand
each other and negotiate effectively to resolve the conflict.

Identifying and Understanding Emotions

The moment we call a person emotional, do we not imply that the person is subjective? Think about it and look
at your own past life experiences. It is likely to be true in everyones life. Therefore, identifying emotions
could be extremely difficult if the individual identifying them is emotional. To put it differently, we need to
identify our own emotions before attempting to identify the emotions within others. If we do not identify our
own emotions, we are not going to be objective in the identification of emotions within others.

Types of emotions
The most common types of emotions we find in our daily lives are happiness, sadness, love, fear,
disappointment, enthusiasm, passion, surprise, shock, disgust, anger, pain and frustration. If you examine each
emotion closely and trace their origin, you would discover that all emotions are reactions to fulfillment or nonfulfillment of desires. When we have a desire, we often expect it to be fulfilled. We express happiness when
our desires are fulfilled. On the contrary, we feel sad and disappointed when our desires are unfulfilled and our
expectations are not met. The same holds true for our professional lives too. A superior desires, defines and
expects certain results from sub ordinates. If the sub-ordinates do not deliver as per expectations, the superior
feels angry or disappointed. There is always the fear of rejection or failure in the minds of all professionals.
Some people love their work and show their enthusiasm and passion. Some people work only for the sake of

earning money and they really do not enjoy their work. Frustration and disgust could creep into their minds
when they do something that they do not truly enjoy. Yet it may not be possible for them to express their
disgust and frustration openly due to fear. When there is a huge gap between expectation and reality, there is
shock or surprise. When something works out faster than estimated, the professionals involved in the project
are happy and pleasantly surprised. So we are likely to encounter situations with a mixture of various
emotions. Identifying emotions could become tricky when we have mixed emotions.

Identifying emotions within oneself

Before managing the other persons in ones organisation, it is important to manage oneself. Identifying
emotions within oneself is extremely helpful in managing oneself. The next obvious question is: How does an
individual identify ones own emotions?. The following guidelines would help you in identifying the
emotions within herself or himself:

It is extremely difficult to identify our emotions precisely when we are not calm and still within.
Therefore, we have to relax first and only then look within ourselves to identify our emotions.

Ask yourself How do I feel now? and record your responses if you are alone. You can either write
down or talk about it and record it. If you read what you have written or listen to what you have talked
after a few days or weeks, you are most likely to be surprised to see the difference between then and now.

Involving someone whom we trust would help us to ensure our objectivity. We can tell the person how
we feel and encourage her or him to ask us questions so that we can verify the accuracy of identification
of our emotions.

Look out for repetitive patterns in your emotional behavior. If it is desirable, you can consciously
reinforce the behavior pattern. On the other hand, you can prevent undesirable conditioning if it is not
desirable.

Identifying emotions of others

Identifying emotions expressed by another person could be as simple as asking the other person How do you
feel now?. Quite obviously, it should not be a routine mechanical artificial question without genuine concern.
You might as well not ask the question if you do not feel like asking the question from your heart because you
would expose yourself sooner or later. The following guidelines would help you in identifying the emotions
expressed by others:

Be attentive to the other person. Do not multitask when the other person is telling you something.
Listen and observe with keenness.

It may be easier to ask how the person feels if (s)he is a sub ordinate. If the other person happens to be
a superior, you have to wait for the right moment to ask the question. You could also put the question
differently by asking Would you like to talk about anything else with me now? and then give the
person time to respond. Do not insist on an answer if they are not in a mood to talk.

Observe the others facial expressions without staring. Prolonged staring with fixed eyes may make
the other person uncomfortable. Let your eye movements be natural and friendly. The other person may
be observing your eyes and facial expressions as well.

Listen to the other persons voice and look out for significant and subtle modulations. Her or his
paralanguage may reveal the persons innermost feelings in a subtle way.

Understanding emotions
Why do we have to understand emotions? Why cant we stop with just identifying emotions? When we
identify emotions, we identify only the effects. When we understand emotions, we actually have traced the
origin and the root cause of the identified emotions. Imagination dominates sometimes and it becomes difficult
to segregate facts from imagination. Human memory itself may not be accurate or precise at all times. The
following guidelines would help you to trace the origin of the emotions identified within ones own selves as
well as within others:

While the question how one feels enables us to identify emotions, the question why one feels the way
one feels would enable us to trace the origins of the identified emotions. So, ask yourself Why do I feel
this way? and ask the other person Do you know why you feel this way? in order to understand the
identified emotions deeply.

Our lives are filled with conditioned behavior patterns. The emotions identified by us are most likely
to be behavior patterns caused by psychological conditioning. For example, a powerful person
surrounded by sycophants is most likely to feel positive on being appreciated. On the contrary, the person
may become hostile and aggressive if we point out an obvious mistake committed by the same person.
So, we have to be extremely delicate and diplomatic while pinpointing the mistake of such a person. One
of the ways could be to tell the person: You have achieved great things in your career. You are a

wonderful person. I am sure you are going to do a lot better than what you have done now. Framing this
kind of balanced statements requires high EI.

Most of our emotional responses directly or indirectly originate from our childhood experiences.
Therefore, trying to map each identified emotion to a specific childhood experience would reveal their
respective origins. Having said that, it may prove to be extremely difficult for an older person to recollect
specific childhood experiences. We can try and remember the earliest possible experience instead of a
childhood experience. Consulting ones parents or childhood friends may help. You can suggest the same
course of action to the other person whose emotions you are trying to understand.

Sharing emotions usually creates a bond among the persons involved. When the sharing of emotions is
related to ones career, the bond would enhance team spirit. As an Administrator, you can organise team
outings in informal environment such as sports, excursions, tours, trekking etc. Joint activities are highly
likely to bring out emotions. Understanding these emotions would enhance team spirit and camaraderie.

Managing Emotions
Managing emotions of sub-ordinates effectively
I have already spoken about how emotions of sub-ordinates can be identified and understood by listening,
observing and communicating with a sub-ordinate. We know why the sub-ordinate feels in a particular way. If
the feeling is favorable for the morale, it is fine to continue without change. On the contrary, if the feeling is
unfavorable, how can the superior change the emotions of the sub-ordinate so that it becomes a win-win
situation? The most important point to note before answering this question is that no one can directly change
emotions of another person. One can only motivate the other person to alter his or her emotional outlook. The
difference is subtle but it is extremely crucial in managing emotions of others. So the correct way to ask this
question is: How can the superior motivate the sub ordinate to alter the emotions within her or him?. In order
to motivate the sub-ordinate to alter the emotions within her or him, the superior has to determine the exact
pain or fear which is causing the undesirable emotion. Then, the perception has to be changed by redefining
the situation. Let us consider an example. A sub-ordinate is unhappy because he was expecting an appraisal
with a hike in salary. But this expectation was not fulfilled because the margin in the business of your
Corporation has fallen due to intense competition. The sub-ordinate perceives this situation thus: I have put
my heart and soul into my work and I have performed to the best of my abilities. But my organisation is not
recognizing my sincere efforts. How can the superior manage the negative emotion within the sub-ordinate?
One strategy for the superior is to take the sub-ordinate out of office to an informal setting and show genuine
concern for the sub ordinate and this would certainly make the sub-ordinate feel the emotional bond. Then, the
superior can explain the actual reason drastic reduction in margins due to intense competition. The superior

can also share his or her own appraisal without revealing the exact salary. The superior can tell the sub ordinate
that the reduction in margins has affected not just him but the organisation as a whole. Thus, the sub-ordinates
perception as a lonely victim begins to change and he realizes that the situation is beyond the control of his
superior. An emotional bond has to be created by focusing on a common attribute shared by the superior and
the sub-ordinate. Managing emotions of sub ordinate requires sharing and bonding. Hierarchical attitude and
outlook can be useful for managing emotions of sub-ordinates but it works only for a short while. Forming
emotional bond through sharing work and experience consistently in the long run certainly helps.

Managing emotions of superiors effectively

If your superior feels good about you, there is absolutely no problem. On the contrary, what do you do if your
superior feels bad about you? How do you manage the emotions of your superior? The crucial factors in
managing the emotions of your superior are your own temperament and your superiors temperament. If you
expect your superior to be democratic and the superior is democratic then it is extremely easy to manage your
superiors emotions. You simply go and talk one-to-one. On the other hand, if you expect your superior to be
democratic and the superior has a hierarchical attitude then you have to be really careful. If you have already
made the required adjustment then you can manage the superiors emotions easily. But if you have difficulty in
making the adjustment in your attitude, you have to start with managing your own emotions before thinking
about managing your superiors emotions. Once you are relaxed, you can gently express your expectation of
democratic attitude to your superior by making a gentle suggestion such as Sir / Madam, what do you think
about the advantages and disadvantages of democratic attitude in comparison to hierarchical attitude?. You
have to first let your superior talk and make him or her feel important by listening. You have to be openminded and listen to their opinions and experiences without interrupting. By listening to your superior, you are
increasing the probability of your superior listening to you. The change may not happen overnight and you
have to patiently work and wait for the change in your superiors emotions about hierarchy.

Managing emotions of group effectively

The best examples of motivating groups can be seen in various popular speeches delivered by various political
leaders across the world. But the results are often unmanageable. It is extremely difficult to manage the
collective emotions of a large group of people. Motivating a group is different from managing a groups
emotions. History is replete with mob violence due to ineffective management of emotions of groups. What we
mean here by managing emotions of group is empowerment of each individual in the group towards selfawareness and self-management. In order to manage a groups emotions, it is essential to identify a common
motivating factor among the members of the group. At the same time, it is essential to define clear roles for
each individual. The roles should be defined in such a way that one individuals strengths compensate for
another individuals weaknesses. Once the unique strengths of each individual are identified and matched with

the weaknesses of another individual, the groups emotions are easier to manage. Everyone has a reasonable
sense of security about their respective roles. But, this is an ideal scenario. In reality, it is difficult to form such
a group and conflicts are bound to arise due to insecurity and fear. Yet again, listening and observation are
important. One-to-one interactions with each group member are required to manage the emotions of each
individual member. A team meeting is required to bring out the individual emotions. Group activities in
informal environments make it easy to manage a groups emotions. As an Administrator, it is important for you
to know how each group member feels about you as much as how you feel about each group member.

Challenges to EI
Let us now look at various factors which make it extremely difficult for people to be emotionally intelligent.

Unbalanced ego
EI is difficult to practice when the ego is either too high or too low. On the other hand, persons with balanced
egos find it easier to be emotionally intelligent. It is common to find unbalanced ego in persons with disturbed
childhood. A person who perceives lack of attention from parents during childhood is likely to grow up into an
adult with tendencies to create dramatic situations so as to attract attention from others. A person who has been
pampered during childhood grows up into an adult who wants everyone around him or her to do what (s)he
says. Thus, unbalanced ego is a major challenge to EI.

Gap between desire and reality

The most common attribute of emotionally challenging situations is the gap between desire and reality. The
larger the gap the more emotionally challenging the situation is. The superior/boss is expecting a project to be
completed smoothly on time as per schedule promised to his Higher Ups. The sub ordinate comes on the
delivery date to tell the superior that a problem is taking a lot more time than estimated and that there may be a
delay in delivery. The superior has a deadline for delivering the project and there is not much time left. Being
emotionally intelligent is quite tough in such situations without any doubt. The superior has to manage not
only his own emotions but also the emotions of the Higher Ups and those of the sub-ordinate. The superior is
likely to blast the sub-ordinate for informing about the problem on the last day. But would it be of any help to
blast the sub-ordinate verbally? I am quite sure that the readers would have faced many such challenges in
their respective careers as administrators. This is a good time for the readers to review emotionally challenging
experiences of similar nature in their own careers with focus on the behavior of self and others.

Extreme focus on goals and performance

When a superior is focused only on goals and performance, (s)he cannot be aware of the emotions of self and
others. Such extreme focus often results in loss of work-life balance for everyone including the superior. A

person who is extremely focused on goals and performance to the exclusion of everything else is like a horse
running with blinkers. They are blind to the emotional problems being caused by their behavior not only in the
sub-ordinates but within them as well. Such extreme unbalanced focus usually builds up health problems
which are suppressed over a period of time. Sooner or later, these problems explode like a dormant volcano
and the after-effects are extremely unpredictable and hence it is extremely difficult to mitigate the risks.

Dictatorial attitude
Being dictatorial implies one-way communication. EI implies open two-way communication. There is no
listening in dictatorship, only obedience. Consistent suppression of emotions could make a person wallow in
frustration, thereby making him prone to future outbursts. In extreme suppression of emotions, the affected
sub-ordinate may even go to the extent of making fatal decisions. Hence, it is important for superiors to avoid a
dictatorial attitude as much as they can. There may be some short-term goals which require top-down
execution of instructions/commands. In such situations, a quick team meeting to inform the sub-ordinates
about an extraordinary situation is likely to elicit understanding and co operation.

Phewthat was emotionally draining