Kirbys Marble System

Every person starts with 60 Marbles. For every question that is relevant and true
about yourself, subtract the corresponding amount of Marbles.
We will start with basic questions about how you perceive yourself in the different
aspects of your identity. Answer all questions truthfully and to the best of your
ability! Lets get those marbles rolling!

Race, Ethnicity, Gender, Orientation, Religion

Do you claim to be a transsexual or your opposite gender because you crossdress or
feel that you were born in the wrong body? - 3 Marbles
Do you claim that you are both genders or that you have no gender, or have any
variation or offshoot of being male or female? (ex. Cisgender, Genderqueer,
Pangender, Androgyne, Agender, Third Gender, Transwoman, Transman) - 2 Marbles
Do you claim to be a lesbian if you are male, or gay if you are a female? -1 Marble
Do you claim to be any variation of straight, bisexual or homosexual? (ex. asexual,
pansexual, quadrisexual) -2 Marbles
Do you claim to be of a certain race or ethnicity even if you are not actually that
race
or
ethnicity?
-1
Marble
Do you claim to share a kintype with any type of living species? (ex. horse, cat,
turtle, bird) -2 Marbles
Do you claim to share a kintype with an inanimate or metaphysical species? (ex.
Automobile, piano, unicorn, mermaid, etc.) -3 Marbles
Do you go out of your way to make it clear about the exact breakdown of your race?
(ex. I am 20% Irish, 15% Mexican, 25% Asian, 5% Navajo Indian, 10% German,
15% African, 10% Jamaican) -1 Marble
Do you feel that your race or ethnicity should grant you benefits, superiority or
reparations? -3 Marbles

Do you feel that your religion is the superior religion, and that anyone who doesnt
share your religion should suffer? 2 Marbles
Do you claim to be affiliated with any supremacist or edgy political group? (Nazi
Party, Marxist, Maoist Ku Klux Klan, Black Panther, etc.) -5 Marbles
Are you an atheist that goes out of their way to strategically mock and ridicule
mainstream religion?
-2 Marbles
Do you claim to be any religion that isnt mainstream including scientology or
Satanism? -3 Marbles
Do you claim to be a prophet or spiritual figure in any religion, mainstream or
nonmainstream? -8 Marbles
Did you create your own religion, and declare yourself as a leading figure or a God?
30 Marbles
Do you consider yourself a sexual deviant, slut, whore or sex maniac? -6 marbles
Do you consider yourself a sexual deviant, slut, whore or sex maniac that is into
weird shit? (example: necrophilia, obsession with feet, giant women, etc.) -10
marbles
Do you feel that it is impossible for you to be wrong about anything under any
circumstances?
-6 Marbles
Do you have an unwarranted sense of entitlement and self-righteousness? -4
Marbles

__________ marbles lost

Internet Groups and Associations

There are many different ways to lose marbles, and some ways cause more marbles
to roll away than others. Whether youre a loveshy, fanfic writer, social justice
warrior, pedophile, roleplayer, furry, pony or any combination of any of the above,
find the subtopics that are most relevant to you and subtract marbles accordingly.
You might find that only subtopic is relevant to you or even find that they are all
relevant to you! Regardless, answer honestly and have fun losing your marbles!

The Creator
Are you active on Deviant Art? -3 Marbles
Are you active on any website/web community that specializes in fanfiction? -3
Marbles
Do you create fan art or fanfiction that most people would perceive as horrible? -3
Marbles
Have you ever created a fan comic? -3 Marbles (subtract 3 additional Marbles if you
have ever self-inserted yourself into your fan comic)
Have you created any type of fan content based off of Sonic the Hedgehog or My
Little Pony? -4 Marbles (subtract an additional 4 marbles if the content is
sexualized)
Do you react negatively to any criticism or block people who criticize your art? -1
Marble
Have you ever drawn yourself as a furry? -5 Marbles
Have you ever drawn yourself as a pony? -6 Marbles
Have you ever drawn yourself as a Sonic the Hedgehog character? -6 Marbles
Have you ever drawn sexualized content of something that was never meant to be
sexualized?
(ex. My Little Pony, Disney characters, Pokmon) 5 Marbles
Have you ever drawn something that you claimed was original, but was actually
traced and ripped off of someone elses content? -4 Marbles
Have you ever tried to claim copyright or intellectual ownership of fan-art based off
of content that you dont actually own? -3 Marbles

_______ marbles lost

The Warrior of Social Justice
Are you active on Tumblr? -4 Marbles
Do you go on Tumblr or any other form of social media to further an agenda dealing
with gender, sexuality or identity? -5 Marbles
Have you ever told someone to be mindful of or to check their privileges? -4 Marbles

Do you feel that you are justified in telling everyone else in the world how they
should think, behave and live their lives? -5 Marbles
Do you feel that anyone who doesnt share your opinions or beliefs is a horrible
person that should have their personal information leaked and have their lives
ruined? -4 Marbles
Do you feel that your ovaries are in never-ending danger from the horrible evil of
penises? 2 Marbles
Do you feel that women protesting naked in public progresses the agenda of
feminists? -1 Marble
Do you feel that an unhealthy and obese woman who weighs 400 pounds should not
be judged and should be seen in the same light as someone who is healthy and
doesnt weigh 400 pounds? -2 Marbles (Subtract 2 additional Marbles if you feel
this sentiment shouldnt extend to obese men as well)
Are you a female game developer who had sex with men in the video game industry
to get your current position only to later pretend to be a victim of the industry? -5
Marbles
(Subtract an additional 5 Marbles if you would later claim to raise money that you
would donate only to end up stealing and keeping for yourself.)
Are you a transsexual game developer who is completely insane? 5 Marbles
Are you a game developer who pretends to be a victim by creating your own death
threats and sending them to yourself? -7 Marbles
Are you a game designer who sucks at designing games? -3 Marbles
If you are a game designer, will more than 99% of the interest in your crappy game
be because of you playing either the suicide or sexual victim card? -5 Marbles
Did you ever pretend to be a victim or fake an illness or unfortunate circumstance
to generate money from Patreon, Indiegogo or Gofundme? -8 Marbles
Do you suffer from a victim complex where you are convinced that the majority of
the world has somehow wronged you despite you living a sheltered life behind a
computer? -6 Marbles
Do you claim to have a trigger or multiple triggers of unknown origins? -5
Marbles
Do you play the victim card, racist card or sexist card when you cant win an
argument? 7 Marbles
Have you ever falsely accused someone of raping you? -8 Marbles

Have you ever posted on Tumblr or anywhere on the internet that you were
depressed and were going to kill yourself? -8 Marbles
Was your main motivation for saying you were going to kill yourself to gain
attention, sympathy or money? -12 Marbles

_________ marbles lost

>tfw no gf
Are you active on Sluthate? -5 Marbles
Do you have a burning hatred for all women? -5 Marbles
Do you blame your failure to attract women due to your genetics? -2 Marbles
Did you never even once try to have a romantic relationship with a woman? -2
Marbles
Do you feel that women will only go after assholes? -3 Marbles
Do you feel that it is okay to have sexual intercourse with animals? -10 Marbles
Have you ever actually had sexual intercourse with an animal? -150 Marbles
(subtract 100 more Marbles if the animal doesnt even have sexual organs/holes
ex. Bird, Turtle, Alligator, Fish, etc.)
Do you feel that it is okay to rape women? -30 Marbles
Do you believe that women deep down actually want to be raped? -30 Marbles
Are you a virgin? -5 Marbles
Are you a pedophile? -40 Marbles
Are you a self-proclaimed pedophile? -60 Marbles
Do you support any form of incest? -30 Marbles
Have you at any time in your life had or had attempted to make incestual love with
a family member?
-35 Marbles
Do you have any children born from incestuous intercourse? -50 Marbles
Are you the byproduct of incestuous intercourse from your parents? -35 Marbles

Has your fear of rejection caused you retreat from the real world and live inside of a
bubble of ignorance on the internet? -10 Marbles
Will you use and misconstrue research and sources to further your deviant
agendas? -5 Marbles
Do you have strong feelings concerning the issue of circumcision for no logical
reason whatsoever? -3 Marbles
Are you an extremely selfish person incapable of understanding the feelings of
other people? -3 Marbles
Are you 100% content with remaining in a state of perpetual self-pity, complaining
about why your life sucks while never making any actual attempt to make your
situation better? -7 Marbles

___________ marbles lost

Fuck IRL!
Are you active on Second Life or any online Virtual World, chatroom, forum or
website? -3 Marbles
Do you consider your online persona something very important that must be
respected and taken seriously? -3 Marbles
When you are in your virtual world, chatroom, forum or website do you suffer from a
god complex? -3 Marbles
Do you have an online persona as a furry or pony? -3 Marbles
Are you a fully grown adult who pretends to be a girl in a virtual world, chatroom,
forum or website? -3 Marbles
Are you active on Facebook, Twitter or any type of mainstream casual social media
for sexual or deviant purposes? -10 Marbles
Are you a fully grown adult who pretends to be an under 18 year old in a virtual
world, chatroom, forum or website? -5 Marbles
Do you engage in roleplay in a virtual world, chatroom, forum or website? -6
Marbles (subtract additional 4 marbles if roleplay is sexual)
Do you engage in furry or pony roleplay in a virtual world, chatroom, forum or
website? -8 Marbles (subtract 5 additional marbles if roleplay is sexual)

Do you engage in pedophilic roleplay in a virtual world, chatroom, forum or website

-19 Marbles
Are you the one who actually roleplays as the underage child in a pedophilic
roleplay? -31 Marbles

___________ marbles lost

Miscellaneous Associations
Are you active on any mainstream dating websites? (match, e-harmony okcupid,
etc.) -2 Marbles
Are you active on any adult or fetish dating sites? (vampire dating, fetlife, etc.) -6
Marbles
Are you active on any website dedicated to My Little Pony? -6 Marbles
Are you active on any website dedicated to Furries? -4 Marbles
Are you active on any website dedicated to fanfiction? -5 Marbles
Are you active on any website dedicated to roleplaying? -5 Marbles
Are you active on any website dedicated to sexual roleplaying? -7 Marbles
Are you active on any wiki dedicated to an obscure interest? -1 Marble
Did you create a wiki dedicated to an obscure interest? -4 Marbles
Have you ever taken extreme measures on the internet to defend your good
name? (example: editing or deleting your encyclopedia dramatica article, replying
to a thread about you on Kiwi Farms) -15 Marbles

__________________ marbles lost

Now that you have subtracted all the possible marbles from your
internet life, now you will begin examining your real life and
subtracting marbles according to the following 4 categories. Good
luck! May the marbles be with you!

The Real World: Work and Income

Are you a college dropout? -2 marbles

Are you a high school dropout? -4 marbles (subtract an additional 2 marbles if you
believe that public schooling was poisoning your creative mind)
Are you currently unemployed and making no attempt to find a job? -3 marbles
(subtract an additional 4 marbles if you are over 30 years old and have been
unemployed for more than 4 consecutive years)
Do you claim to be self-employed but make less than $3000 a year? -3 marbles
Is your primary source of income through government assistance (example:
disability, welfare, unemployment, etc.) -3 marbles (subtract 3 additional marbles if
your government assistance money is being spent for things unrelated to your basic
life necessities)
Are you an adult that is still dependent on your parents? -5 marbles
Are you an adult but still live with your parents? -3 marbles (subtract an additional 4
marbles if you are over 40 years old)

______________ marbles lost

The Real World: Internet Usage and Jerking Of

Do you spend more than 30-40% of your day browsing the internet? -2 marbles
Do you spend more than 50-60% of your day browsing the internet? -4 marbles
Do you spend more than 70% of your day browsing the internet? -6 marbles
(subtract an additional 4 marbles if you are literally on your computer from the
moment you wake up to the moment you sleep)
Do you masturbate once a day? -1 marble
Do you masturbate 2 to 3 times a day? -4 marbles
Do you masturbate more than 4 times a day? -10 marbles
Do you swallow your own cum after you masturbate? -50 marbles
Did you ever rub your own shit on your penis while you masturbated? -100 marbles

_____________ marbles lost

The Real World: Health and Hygiene

Are you aware that you have a mental illness and if so will you constantly complain
about your mental illness while taking no steps to try to deal with it? -3 marbles
(subtract an additional 2 marbles if the mental illness is autism)
Are you aware enough about your mental illness that you will use it as a special
card to avoid responsibility for your actions? -5 marbles (subtract an additional 2
marbles if the mental illness is autism)
Do you claim to have a mental illness, but feel superior to others who might also
have mental illnesses? -2 marbles (subtract an additional 2 marbles if the mental
illness is autism)
Do you get less than 2 hours of daily exercise? -1 marble
Do you get less than 1 hour of daily exercise? -2 marbles
Do you get less than half an hour of daily exercise? -3 marbles
Does your diet consist primarily of greasy fast foods and unhealthy processed
foods? -2 marbles
Are you overweight? (BMI of 25 to 29.9) -1 marble
Are you obese? (BMI of 30 or higher) -2 marbles
Are you morbidly obese? (BMI of 40 or higher) -5 marbles
Do you fail to brush your teeth daily? -2 marble
Are you missing teeth due to negligence caring for them? -4 marbles
Do you shower less than three times a week? -1 marble
Can you go multiple weeks or months without showering even once? -4 marbles
Do you suffer from dirty crapped briefs? -3 marbles

____________ marbles lost

The Real World: Sperging Lifestyle

Do you spend more than 100 dollars a month on Video Games? -1 Marble
Do you spend more than 300 dollars a month on Video Games? -3 Marbles
Do you spend more than 100 dollars on pornography a month? -2 Marbles
Do you spend more than 300 dollars on pornography a month? -4 Marbles

Do you do drugs and feel empowered/cool for doing so? -4 Marbles

Do you purposely go out of your way to look special or different?
(example: dieing your hair an unnatural color, wearing your trademark shirt
or medallion, your special tattoo, ring, etc.)
-4 Marbles (subtract additional
2 marbles if you look extra retarded as a result)
Do nudes of you exist in public? -10 Marbles (subtract additional 10
additional marbles if the nudes were leaked due to your stupidity ex. Dick
pics, cell phone video of you sucking someones cock, etc.)
Has your sperginess caused trolls to dox you? -3 Marbles
Can you be attributed as the person who in reality actually doxed yourself?
-10 Marbles
Have you been banned from public areas including shopping centers, stores
or parks?
-5 Marbles (subtract an additional marble for each additional place you are
banned from, and subtract 2 additional marbles for each time you tried to
trespass back into a place you were banned from)
Have you ever been arrested? -5 Marbles (subtract 3 additional marbles for
each time you were arrested after your first arrest, and subtract 80
additional marbles if you are currently serving a long prison sentence)
Have you ever stalked someone? -35 Marbles
Have you ever raped someone? -85 Marbles
Have you ever sexually abused an underage child? -200 Marbles
Have you ever assaulted someone in public? (example: macing, running
someone over, etc.)
-7 Marbles (add 5 Marbles for each additional instance)
Did you ever have a relationship exclusive to the internet? -7 marbles
(subtract 3 additional marbles for each time the person you were in a
relationship with was actually a troll)
Have you ever drawn or written anything related to having sex with someone
you know in real life?
-3 marbles (subtract 3 additional marbles if this person had no idea you
would do it)

Do you blame all of your shortcomings and failures in life due to the actions
of trolls, while refusing to accept any self-responsibility for the idiocy of your
own actions? -20 marbles
>Have you ever greentexted outside of 4chan? -1 marble
Have you spent any length of time creating a spergy test only to post it onto
an internet board where it will get immediately made fun of? -100 marbles

______________ marbles lost

Tally your results and calculate how many marbles out of the 60 you
had still remained.

Results:
60 Marbles Left You dont exist. Fuck you, liar.
59-50 Marbles Left If you do exist, youre not wasting your time on Kiwi Farms,
so go fuck yourself liar.
49-40 Marbles Left Not bad for an internet dweller. Youre all right, partner.
39-30 Marbles Left Its not really great, but it could definitely be worse.
29-20 Marbles Left Youre touching the boundary of no return, get your life
together before its too late.
19-10 Marbles Left You had potential, why did you let things go to this far?
Theres still hope for you, but you better stop the bleeding right here.
9-1 Marbles Left Its only a matter of time; you only have a handful of marbles
left. Do everything you can to protect them before its too late.
0 Marbles Left - You are all out of marbles. Its time for an intervention. Please
seek help and maybe a few marbles might roll back to you, but most likely youre all
out of luck.
-1 to -49 Marbles Negative If you had even more marbles they would have
rolled away as well. Please do us all a favor and resign from the internet and save
us the trouble of having to hear any more about you. You may yet be saved by some
sort of miracle.

-50 to -99 Marbles Negative Not even the biggest miracle can save you
anymore. Get neutered, the fact that you can reproduce is a danger to all of society.
You could have different choices in your life to avoid your current situation but you
blew it.
-100 to -199 Marbles Negative Please just go to jail already. People at this level
are the perfect mix of being self-aware and batshit insane. Seek professional help.
This is arguably the worse level to end up in.
-200 to -299 Marbles Negative It takes a lot to reach this point. Well done! If
you are at this level you are most likely unaware of the damage and stupidity that
you sow. You were born to sperg and theres nothing we can do to stop it, so the
only choice to try to accept, observe and understand it.
-300 or more Marbles Negative Congratulations, you are the ultimate unknown
variable; a mysterious enigma capable of endless possibilities. You have surpassed
the concept of being a completely useless and worthless human being and have
transcended into another dimension of existence. You will be studied and
researched for countless generations to come as one who passed beyond what
humanity considered the limited potential of the human mind.