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21. Cackle diabolically. "The World is mine! Nothing can stop me now!"
22. State before the game that you are playing for the title of the champion of
the universe.
23. Feel the personal loss of every soldier. "Alas, poor Yorrick, I knew him well."
24. Lament the woes of war loudly. Faint when a model dies.
25. Add sound FX. Kaboom!
26. Ask if you can have TV rights to the game.
27. Just to surprise your opponent, agree amicably with and compliment your
opponent!
28. Declare that you are opposed to the senseless destruction of our forests.
Refuse to let him kill your treemen. Refuse to let him move through woods.
29. Insist on a lunch break for your troops. Bring a model Mr. Whippy Van.
30. Explain that you are a pacifist. Call off the game immediately.
31. Order your miniatures in your best Sergeant-Major voice. "Quick march, on
the double- hut!"
32. Ask if your opponent is opposed to nuclear warfare. Carry a small spherical
device. Give no other reasons.
33. Wear a crown. Say that you are the "Lord of the Galaxy". Get a horde of
admirers to cheer you on.
34. Bring a stuffed, shaved poodle. Say it is your mascot.
35. Grow a Hitler moustache and wear a swastika. 'Discipline' your troops if they
fail to salute you.
36. Cheer on your miniatures.
37. Hide under the table at the start of the game. Make your opponent drag you
out. Speak in a nervous whisper. Confide in him that you are scared of his troops.
38. Leave a false army list lying around. Snatch it back angrily if your opponent
starts to read it, but leave it visible.
39. Pull out an ace surreptitiously (but obviously ) from your sleeve during the
magic phase. Look pleased. Try to play it.
40. Keep a deck of Magic the Gathering cards handy. When you are told it is "the
magic phase" bring out the cards and start to shuffle them. Ask if he wants to cut
your deck.
41. Speak in Skaven. Neek- Neek!
42. Tell him you've brought weighted dice. Complain about the uselessness of
modern technology when you start to roll ones.
43. Bring a lamp. Rub it and make three wishes before the game. Look at your
opponent accusingly if they don't immediately come true. Ask him if he's used it.
44. Ask what year it is. Ask where you are. Ask what game you are going to play.
If he says warhammer, bring out an antique mallet and hit him with it. Smile a
corny grin.
45. Make references to a spy/traitor in his army.
46. Don't place your wizard on the board at the start of the game. At the end of
your deployment, use a small explosive device to create a smoke screen and
place down the wizard behind it while you yell, "poof!". When the smoke
dissipates, say, "Tadaa!"
47. Have a history written for every trooper. Start a family feud.
48. Poor cheese sauce all over your opponent's army. Complain that it is cheesy.
49. Come with an army painted completely flora purple. Wear dark glasses.
50. Attempt to bribe your opponent's characters. Turn away quickly if your
opponent looks at you questioningly. Deny everything
51. Speak in your armys native language and start to issue orders to your lords
and heros.
1. Refer to your miniatures only by their first name.
2. Refer to his miniatures only by their first name.
3. Try to bribe his units over to your side.
4. Three words: Pastel Color Scheme.
5. Rent advertising space on your unit banners.
6. Offer your opponent the chance to surrender before the battle starts.
7. Dress in character.
8. Perform a play by play commentary in a Howard Cossell voice.
9. Speak only in third person.
10. Use huge brass dice. Roll them dangerously close to your opponent's
figures.
11. Use only the little red dice from Warhammer Quest.
12. Only roll one die at a time.
13. Play Britney Spears. Insist that is it "battle music." Put it on repeat.
14. Name all your characters after obscure Hungarian royalty. Become
annoyed if your opponent fails to notice.
15. Claim your army is comprised of all women. When pressed, explain
they are all in disguise as to not get kicked out of the army.
16. Place a hammer on the table before the battle starts. Explain it is
there to insure loyalty.
17. Quote Sun Tzu often, but only irrelevantly.
18. Every time one of his miniatures has unrestricted LOS to a target, say
'check'.
19. Suggest obviously suicidal tactics to your opponents. Explain that
'that's what Custer would do'.
20. Perform a rousing speech to your troops before the battle. Pose like