Parenthood'

@ Planned

A GUIDEFORKIDS9 TO 12ANDTHEIRPARENTS
by SomGitchelqnd LoniFoster

"Thisbookis an excellentbridgebetweenpreteensand parentswho want

it highly."
theirchildrento learnaboutsexthe'right'way.I recommend
- DearAbby

LefsTqfkAboutS-E-X
Easier Said Than Done..,UNTILNOW!
Hereis information
for parents,usingthe guideat the backof the
book,on howto approach
thatBIGTALKin a waythatis comfortable
andpostive.
lt is the idealstartingpointforthe parentwhowantsto
communicate
sexuality
information
that is frankand clearand with
thefeelings
andvaluestheywishto convey.
Thefrontsectionof the bookis meantto be readtogetherby parent
andchild.lt cantheneasilybe re-readby the childwhomaynotbe
in onereading.
ableto absorballtheinformation
Developedby PlannedParenthood/MarMontein 1982to help ensure
that every individual hasthe knowledge,opportunity, andfreedom
to make euery child a wanted child, and eueryfamily a healthyfamily.

BOOKPEDDLERS
www.bookpeddlers.com
MonarchBooksin Canada
distributedby PGW
juvenile- nonf iction/health
$9.99 US/incanada
$14.e5

.il||JlJl|!illu
,
rsBN1-931863-18-0

lffiflfimru

tffi t':1,ffiflParenthood@

LET,STALK
ABOUT

S-E-X
BY SAM GITCI+EL
ANDLORRIFOSTER
Znd edilion

Book Peddlers
Minnetonka,Mn
disfributed to the book frade by PGW

Special thanks to:

Jeanne Ewy, Terrietind, Patsy Montgomery, Raul Tejeda and everyone who worked
to bring this book 65ck into print.
SpanishTranslation:Dori Kaplan
Coverdesign:DianneSilverman
Coverart: Chris Dyrud
copyright
Parenthood
Fresno
@ 1982,1983Planned
copyright
Parenthood
CentralCalifornia
@ 1995Planned
copyright
Parenthood
MarMonte
O 2005Planned
2nd Edition
ISBN 1-931863-18-0
(In Spanish,
ISBN1-931863-19-9)
Publisher's
Cataloging-in-Pu
blication
(Provided
byfuality Books,Inc.)
Gitchel,Sam.
Let'stalk about s-e-x / by Sam Gitcheland Lorri
Foster.-- 2nd ed.
p.cm.
Let'stalk about sex.
Includesbibliographical
referencesand index.
Audience:Grades9-12.
rsBN 1-931863-18-0
(Spanish)
ISBN1-931863-19-9
1. Sex instructionfor children. 2. Sex instruction
for youth. I. Foster,Lorri II. Title. III. Title:
Lett talk about sex.
HQs3.Gs7200s

649',.65
QBr33-2107
All rights reserved. No paft of this book may be copied or reproduced by
any means without prior written permission of the publisher.
You can order a single copy of this book directly from the publisher. Schools, agencies,
physicians office's, organizations, etc, can contact us for discount rates.

BOOKPEDDLERS
75245Minnetonka
Blvd,Minnetonka,
MN 55345
. 800-255-3379
. fax: 952-912-0105
952-912-0036
www.bookpeddlers.com
printed in Hong Kong
05

06

07

08

0910

LetbTalkAbout
S-E-X
A Read-Together
Bookfor
Kids9-to-12andtheir Parents

with
A Parents Guide

Planned Parenthood/Mar Monte

Contents
For The Whole Family
.,.....,9
M a k i n gS e n s eo f L o v ea n d S e x
.....I2
M a k i n gB a b i e s
.....13
Y o uA r e A l r e a d yC h a n g i n g
.........I4
W h a ti s P u b e r t y ?
.....I4
E v e r y b o dC
yhanges
W h a ti s N o r m a l ?
..........15
. . . . . .1 6
Y o u rF e e l i n g s . , . aY
nd
o u rI m a g i n a t i o n
. . . . . . .1 8
A c t i n gO l d e r .
........20
T h e I N S I D ES t o r y
.........22
G r o w i n gU p M a l e
......27
G r o w i n gU p F e m a l e
........,,.31
Menstruation,...
M o r eA b o u tM e n s t r u a t i o. n.
. . . ,3 3
.
.
.
.
.....37
S e x u aIl n t e r c o u r s e . . . . . .
T h eW h y s .
. .. .. . . . . . 3 7
.......38
A n dt h e W h y - N o t s
Pregnancy
..........4I
Childbirth
...........43
H e r e d i t y . . . W hMaat k eYs o uY
, OU
.......46
........47
H a v i n gS e xW i t h o u tH a v i n gA B a b y
M a k i n gL o v e( w i t h o u tm a k i n gm i s t a k e s.). . . , , . .4. 8
A r e Y o uR e a d yf o r a B a b y ? . . . . . .
..,...51
......52
A G o o dS t a r t .
.... .. 54
The Puberty Puzzle
. . . . . . . . .5. 6
A ReadinL
g i s t. . .
. . . .5 7
Websites
Index
.......,,5B

For Parents .

.....61

LET,STALKABOUTS-E-X
,;

FORTHE
WHOLEFAMILY

O l < a yh, e rew e g o . T h e B ICT A L I<.No giggles,please.

Do we
H A V Et o d o t h i s ?Y E SW
. h y ? B e c a u syeo u a r eg r o w i n gu p a n dw i l l
s o o nb e a t e e n a g e r.
yo u d o n' talwaysl<nowwhat to asl<
A n d b e ca u se
andth o s eo l d e rth a n yo u d o n 'ta l w a ysl < nowwhat or when to let you
in o n w h a t y o u n e e dto l <n o w5. 0 w e 'restar tingthe discussion
her e.
W e a l l n e e dto l e a rna b o u tse xa n d how sexfits into our
liv e s .l t ' s i m p o r ta n tth a t yo u g e t yo u r fa c tsstr aight.Ther eis a lot of
i n c o r r e ci tn f o r m a t i o fnl o a t i n ga r o u n d H
. e r ea r et h e t h i n g sy o u m a y
not l < n o w . . . a npro
d b a b l yso meth a t yo u do l<now.Now you cantall<
a b o u ts e xa n da s l <
y o u rq u e s t i o n sT.h ea d u l t si n y o u r l i f ec a ns h a r e
t h e i rf e e l i n g as sw e l la sw h a t e l s ey o u w a n t t o l < n o wl.t ' sr e a l l yj u s t a
beginning.

MAKING
5ENSEOFLOVEANDsEX
W h e nt w o p e o p l e" fa l l i n l o ve "w i th eachother ,they want to be
t o g e t h ea
r l o t a n dw a n t t o s h a r ep e r s o n at hl o u g h t sa n df e e l i n g sT.h e y
re a ll yc a r ea b o u te a cho th e r'sfe e l i n g s,
a ndthey both feelgoodabout
t hems e l v em
s o s to f th e ti me th e v a reto cether .
L o v ea n d s e xa re n o t th e ru r. th i :g. "Love"is a wor d that
peop l eu s et o m e a nma n yth i n g s.We l o v eour par ents,and we love
. e l o v eo u r c l o s ef r i e n d sa, n dw e l o v eo u r g r a n d p a r e n tyso. u
ourpetsW
m i g h th a v ee v e nh e a r ds o m e o n se a y" l l o v ec h o c o l a t iec ec r e a m! " I n
eac hc a s et h e f e e l i n q sa rea l i ttl ed i ffe re nt.

I n t i m e ,t h e e x c i t e m e notf f a l l i n gi n l o v em a yc h a n g et o a d e e p
f e e l i n go f l o vea n dtru st fo r e a cho th er .Two peoplewho shar ethis
l < i n do f l o v eu s u a l l yw a n t t h e i r r e l a t i o n s h ti o
p l a s tf o r a l o n gt i m e .
T h e yp l a nt o w o rl <th i n g so u t to g e th er W
. hethertimesar egood
o r t i m e sa r et o u g h ,th e y l <n o wth e y c ancounton eachother .Fora
c o u p l el i l < et h i s,se xca nb e a w a y o f expr essing
their lovingfeelings.
M o s t p e o p l et h i n l < t h i si st h e b e s t i m e o f a s e x u arle l a t i o n s h a
i pn d
le a d st o t h e b e stI<i n do f ma rri a g e .
"M a l <i n gl o ve "i s so me ti methe
s ter m peopleusefor having
in t e r c o u r soer se x(mo rea b o u tth a t l ater ) .But the fact is,loveand
s e xd o n ' ta l wa ysg o to g e th e r.Ma n y peopleloveeachotherwithout
h a v i n gs e x ,a n d o th e rsh a vese xw i th out love.Som epeoplehavesex
ju s t f o r t h e p h ysi capl l e a su re
th e y g e t fr om it or to pleasesom eone
e l s e .O t h e r sbe l i e veth i s i s w ro n g ,o r j ust feelsur ethey would not
e n j o ys e xw i t h o u t l o ve .
T o a v o i dp ro b l e mse ve ryo n en eedsto r em emberthat:
. N o on e h a sto h a vese xj u st to pleasesomeoneelse.
. H a vi n gse xw i l l n o t ma l <el ovehappen.
. l t i s w ro n gto l e t so me o n ethinl<you lovehim or her when
y o u re a l l yd o n 't.
, n yp e o p l efa l l i n lovebefor ethey ar e r eadyfor
O f c o u rsema
s e xo r f o r m a rri a g e5. o i t'sa g o o dth i ng that sexis not the only way to
s h o wt h e s ef e e l i n g sO. t h e rt h i n g s ,l i l < eb e i n gh o n e s at n d r e a l l yc a r i n g
a b o u to n ea n o t h e ra, r e m o r ei m p o r t a n itn a l o v i n gr e l a t i o n s h i p .
10

Thereare many ways, besidessex,to expressfeelingsof love

and closeness
to someone.Doingspecialfavorsfor the other person,
beinga good listener,holdinghands,givingflowers...these
arejust a
few ways.

Canyouandyourmomor dadthinkof someotherwaysof showing

love?Try makinga list:

H o w d o t h e pe o p l ei n yo u r fa mi l ysh owloveto eachother ?

Which of thesewayswould alsobe good waysof showingloveto a

boyfriendor girlfriend?

MAKING9ABIES
A l l l i v i n gt h i n g sr e p r o d u cteh e i rl < i n da, n d h u m a n sd o t h i s b y
h a v i n gs e x u ailn te rco u rsel f. w e d i d n ot, the hum anr acewould not
l a s tl o n g .
W h e na w o m a na n d m a nd e c i d et o m a l < a
e b a b y t, h o u g h ,
t h e ya r en o t u s u a l l yt h i n l < i nagb o u tt h e w h o l eh u m a nr a c eT
. h e ya r e
j
o
y
lo o l < i nfgo r w a rdto th e
o f h a vi n gand r aisinga child.Par enthood
i s a l i f e l o n go p p o r t u n i t tyo l o v ea n dc a r ef o r a n o t h e rh u m a nb e i n g .
I t i s a l s oa l i f e l o n gr e s p o n s i b i l i T
t yh. a t ' sw h y d e c i d i n tgo m a l < a
e baby
is o n e o f t h e mo st i mp o rta n td e ci si o ns
a per soncanm al<e.
Ever yone
wh o d e c i d e tso h a vese xu ailn te rco u rse
needsto thinl<ver y car efully
a b o u tt h e p o s s i b i l i t yh a t a p r e g n a n ccyo u l ds t a r t .
T h o u g hm a l < i nbga b i e si s i m p o r t a n ti,t ' sn o t t h e m a i nr e a s o n
wh y c o u p l e sha vese xu ailn te rco u rse.
Whentwo peoplecar ever y
m u c ha b o u te a cho th e r,i n te rco u rse
i s one of the waysthey canshar e
t h e i r l o v i n gf e e l i n g sJ,o i n i n gt h e i r b o d i e si n t h i ss p e c i awl a y g i v e st h e m
a s p e c i akl i n dof p l e a su re
w h i ch i s w h y we do often callhavingsex,
" m a l < i nlgo v e . "
S e x u ain
l te rco u rse
ma y se e mh ar dto under stand.
You may
w o n d e r", W h y w o u l da n y o n ed o T H A T ?W h y i s ' h a v i n gs e x ' s u c a
h big
deal?"Tha
e n s w e ri st h a t s e x u ailn t e r c o u r scea na d da l o t o f h a p p i n e s s
t o a p e r s o n ' lsi fe ,o r i t ca nca u seb i g p roblem s.
That' swhy it is a big
d e a l .T h a t ' sw h y i t ma y se e mth a t e ver yoneis inter ested
in it, or
wo r r i e da b o u ti t.
1>

Q. OoyouttllW to havesex?
A. Gooaquestion.
N0,youdon't.
But we'regettingaheadof ourselves.
Firstwe needto stepbacl<
for a momentto understandhow our bodieswork beforewe dealwith
someof theselargerissues.
The betterwe understandwhat'sgoingon
w i t h i n o u r se l ve s,
th e b e tte rw e a reableto m aker esponsible
decisions.
U n d e r s t a n d i nca
g nb ri n gh a p p i n e ss- notpr oblem s- forus andthose
a r o u n du s .

YOUARECHAN6IN6ALREADY
lf you are between9 and 13yearsold, there'ssomethingyou
s h o u l dk n o wa b o u t.l t'sso me th i n gc alledPUBERTY.
lt' s not asstr ange
a s i t s o u n d s.l t's n o t a d i se a se
a n d i t'snot a tall buildingthat m ust be
l e a p e da t a si n g l eb o u n d .A n d i t'sd efinitelynot a wasteof time.

I t m i g h tb e h a p p e n i n g
ri g h t now; or it will be star tingsoon.
O n ed a y y o u n o ti ceyo u r b o d yi s star tingto change,and you m ay
th i n k s o m e th i n gi s g o i n gw ro n g .E s pecially
if no one hastold you
th e s ec h a n g e a
s re N OR MA LT. h a t'swhat this bool<is for : to let you
know what kind of changesto expect.

WHATI5 PUBERTY?
Pu b e rtyi s a fe w ye a rso f yo u r lifewhen your bodyandyour
fe e l i n g sc h a n g eve ry q u i cl <l y.
P u b e rtyis a big steptowar dshaving
t h e l < i n do f b o d ya n df e e l i n g ys o u w i l l h a v ea sa n a d u l t .T h i sp e r i o do f
r a p i dc h a n g i n g
b e g i n sa n y t i m eb e t w e e nt h e a g e so f 9 a n d 1 6 ,a n d l a s t s
for3or4years.
Y o uw i l l k e e pc h a n g i n a
g l l t h r o u g hy o u r l i f e- t h o u g hp r o b a b l y
a l i t t l e m o r esl o w l ya fte r p u b e rty.Y ouwon' t wal<eup one mor ning
a n ds u d d e n l by ea n a d u l t .B e c o m i nagn a d u l th a p p e ngs r a d u a l l yl (. e e p
r e a d i n ga n dy o u w i l l f i n do u t h o w .

CHANaE5
EVERYBODY
Y o u ' v ep ro b a b l yn o ti ce dth a t you andyour fr iendsar e not
i n t h e s a m ew a y so r a t t h e s a m et i m e .S o m el < i dgs e t a
a l lc h a n g i n g
lo t t a l l e rb e fo reth e o th e r p a rtso f their bodiescatchup. Som eget
ch u b b y f, o r a w h i l e ,b e fo reth e i r h e i ghtcatchesup. But ever ybody
g a i n sw e i g h t .Y o u ' r es u p p o s etdo . Y o um a y h e a ra l o t a b o u tt o o m u c h
e x t r aw e i g h t(o r l o o l <i nfa
g t). B u t n ot gainingenoughweightcan be a
seriouh
s e a l t hc o n d i t i o nt ,o o .
A g i r l 'sb re a sts
a n d h i p sg ro w lar gerand
,
so her waistlool< s
g ro w b ro aderand
sm a l l e rA. b oy'ssh o u l d e rs
, he getsmor em uscles

1+

dl over. Skingetsmoreoily, especially

on the face.That'swhy some
peopleget pimples(but keepingextracleancan help).Hair all over the
body getsa little darkerand coarser.lt startsto grow in new places,
like underthe armsand aroundthe sexorgans.And the sexorgansof
both boysand girlsget a little larger.
Alongwith thesechangeson the outsideof your body,there
s n th e i n si d eT. h e ma i nonesar ethese:a gir l becomes
a r ec h a n g e o
able
to 9et pregnant,and the boy becomesableto makea girl pregnant.
Theseare importantchanges.

WHATI5 NORMAL?
A lot of kidsworry because
they believethey are changingtoo
eoonor too late.lf you'rea girl, you may wish your breastswere larger
or s m a l l e rYo
. u ma y h o p eyo u d o n 'tstar thavingper iodsmuchsooner
or l a t e rt h a n yo u r fri e n d s.
lf you'rea boy,you may wonderabout beingtoo tall or too
s h o r t ,a b o u tt he si zeo f yo u r p e n i s,o r abouthairgr owingin places
that it nevergrew before.Whetheryou are changingfast or slow,
there'sno needto worry.
M o s t g irl sb e g i nth e ch a n g e o
s f puber tya yearor two ear lier
t h a n m o s t b o ys.A n yo n ew h o sta rtsmuchear lierthan 9 or laterthan
1 6s h o u l db e ch e cke db y a d o cto r.T h eexacttim e your bodywill begin

ma l < i ntgh e s ech a n g e d

s ependo
s n yo ur par ents- if they star ted
c h a n g i n ga t a y o u n ga g e ,yo u p ro b a blywill, too. lf they star tedlater ,
y h e ny o u w i l l s t a r t .
t h a t i sp r o b a b lw
A s ky o u r p a re n tsi f th e y ca nre mem berwhentheir bodies
s t a r t e dc h a n g i n g :
D i dt h e y sta rtso o n e ro r l a te rthan their fr iends7
A t a b o u tw h a t a g e ?
W h a t bo d ych a n g e d
s i d th e y n oticefir st?
H o w d i dt h e yf e e la b o u tt h e s ec h a n g e s T
W h a t d o t h e y r e m e m b em
r o s ta b o u tt h i st i m e ?

YOURFEELINGS
...ANDYOURTMAGTNATTON
G r o w i n gu p i s n o tj u s t a m a t t e ro f y o u r b o d yc h a n g i n gl .t a l s o
ha st o d o w i t h h o w yo u fe e la n dth e thingsyou do.Most peoplehave
s t r o n gf e e l i n g sd u ri n gp u b e rty:su d d enlyfeelingexcited,br ol<enh e a r t e dl,o v i ng ,h a ti n g ,a n g ry,sa d ,h a ppy,scar ed..m aybesever al
d iff e r e n w
t a y sa t th e sa meti me .Mo o dscomeand go, and you m ay

'rotknoWwhy.YoushouId|<nowthatitisnotunusualforthisto
r aP P e n .
Andyoumaythin|(someprettyweirdthingsnowandthen.'.
, v on d e r f ut lh i n g s,a w fu lth i n g s,so methat couldneverr eallyhappen,
even
a n ds o m e t h a tc o u l d .l t i s n o r m a tl o i m a g i n ea l l s o r t so f t h i n g s ,
t h o s ey o u w o u l d n e ve ra ctu a l l Yd o '
Thereisnothingwrongwithusingyourimagination.
how
D a y d r e a m i ni sgo n " * i y t o l e a r na b o u ty o u r s e laf n dt h i n l <a b o u t
w
i
t
h
w
r
o
n
g
y o u m i g h th i n d l en e ws i t u a t i o n sA.n dt h e r ei s n o t h i n g
h a v i n ga l o t o f d i ffe re n te mo ti o n s.
Butifyourthoughtsorfeelingsarekeepingyouunhappy'or
you
t a k i n gu Ps o m u c ho f y o u rt i m e t h a t y o u C a n ,dt o o t h e rt h i n g s ,
m ig h tw a n t s o meh e l p .S o meg o o dp e opleto talk with ar e:
- y o u r Pa r e n ts
- a c o u n s e l o(ryo u r p a re n tsca np ro b ablyhelpyou find one)
- y o u r m i n i s t e rp, r i e s tr, a b b o
i r o t h e rr e l i g i o ulse a d e r
-anotheradu|tyouCantrust,su<hasyourfavoriteteacher
-aIocaIteIephonehotIine...Iool<intheyellowPagesofthe
o h o n eb o o l <un d e r" C ri si sIn te rve n ti on"'

17

ACTTNGOLDER
c r o w i n gu p a r s om e a n sd o i n gn e wt h i n g s y. o u w i i l s o o n
b eo r d
e n o u g ht o d o m a n yt h i n g sy o u c o u r d n 'dt o w h e ny o u
w e r ea c h i r d .
M a n y t e e n a g e rs
e n j o yn e w e xp e ri ences
r ikewear ingmakeup,shaving,
l e a r n i n tgo d r i v e ,w e a r i n g" i n "c r o t h i n gd, a t i n g t - a r k i n g
about
1or
i t ) , o r e a r n i n gt h e i ro w n s p e n d i n m
g o n e y s, o m et r y t h i n g st h a t a r e
q u e s t i o n a bllei keh a vi n gb o d yp i e rc ings
and gettingtattoos.some
e v e nt r y t h i n g sth a t a red a n g e ro uand
s canteadtoier ioustr oublelil<e
e x p e r i m e nti nw
g i th se x,a l co h o lo, r dr ugs.
T e e nstry so meth i n g sb e ca use
they thinr <it m akesthem r oor <
o l d e r .S m o l < i ni g
s o n e .B u t s m o k i n gi s s i m p l yu n h e a l t h a
y n dc a nb e
q u i t ee x p e n s i vweh e nd o n eo n a r e g u l a br a s i sl.t c a n
e a s i l yb e c o m ea n
a d d i c t i o n( s o me th i n gw h i chi s te rri i ly har dto stopeven
whenyou
w a n t t o ) a n d l e a d sto se ri o u sh e a l thpr oblem sespecially
when you get
o l d e r .Y o uc ansa veyo u rse l af l o t o f tr oubleif youjust
don,tstar t.
Y o uwi l l h a vea ro t o f d e ci si ons
to m ar < in
e the nextfew year s.
M a n yo f y o u rf r i e n d sw i l l b e g i nt o d o n e wt h i n g s a, n dy o u
willneed
t o d e c i d ew h e th e rto j o i n i n o r w a i t awhile.yor ir par ents
canhelpyou
f i g u r eo u t w he nyo u a reo l d e n o u g hfor adultactivities.
of cour se
t h e r ea r et h i n g st h a t s o m ea d u r t sd o t h a t y o u rf a m i r y
m a yd i s a p p r o v e
o f a t A N Y a g e .F i g u ri n go u t w h a t'sri ghtfor you wilr be
easierif you
k n o w w h e r ey o u r p a re n tssta n d ,

1B

Whichof the thingshoveyou

discussed
with yourporents?
. t e e n a g e rlse arn i n gto d ri ve

. b o y sc a l l i n gg i r l so n t h e p h o n e

. g i r l sw e a r i n gm a l < e - u p

. g i r l sc a l l i n gb o y so n t h e p h o n e

. t e e n a g e rdsa ti n g

. te enagersm
s ol<ing
cigar ettes

r t f l d Q f se a r n l n g

. te ena,gefs
tr ying dr ugs
a n da t c o n o l

a n c s P e n c r nm
9 oney

Aret h e r ea n y o t he rsyo u w a n t to a d d?

W h i c ho n e sw o u l dy o u l i l < e
t o t a l k a b o u tn o w ?

A s ky o u r p a r e n t tso t e l l y o u h o w t h i n g sh a v ec h a n g e sd i n c et h e t i m e
wh e nt h e y w e r egro w i n gu p a n d n o teth em her e:

19

THEIN5IDE 5TORY
Pubertybeginswhen your bodystartsto producemore
of ce r t a i nh o r m o n e s.
A H OR MON Ei s a special
chemical,
which
is m a d ei n a g l a n da n d re l e a seidn to th e bloodstr eam.
Hor mones
carrymessages
from one part of your bodyto another.Most of the
ho r m o n e st h a t sta rt p u b e rtyco mefro m a glandnearthe br ain,the
P I T UI T A R YT. he sep i tu i ta ryh o rmo n e stell the sexglandsthat it is
t ime t o s t a r t ma l <i n so
g mech a n g e s.
5 o t h e se xg l a n d ssta rt ma ki n gtheir own hor m ones- the
s e xh o r m o n e sF. e ma l eh o rmo n e sa re madein the OVARIES,
and
ma l eh o r m o n e sa re ma d ei n th e T E S T ICLES.
Thesemaleandfemale
ho r m o n e sc a u seth e ch a n g e th
s a t a reall par tof puber ty.

underarm hair
breast growth
hip growth
pubic hair
menstruation

t..21 :

6ROWIN6UPMALE
O n t h e o u t s i d eo f h i sb o d ya m a l eh a sa P E N I S
a n da S ( R O T U M .
T h e p e n i si s t h e p a rto f a ma l e 'sb o d ywhichis mostsensitive
to sexual
f e e l i n g sT. h e scro tu mi s a th i ck p o u c hof skinthat holdsand pr otects
t h e t e s t i c l e s.
Th e rei s a n a rro wo p e n ingthr oughthe penis,calledthe
URETHRA
t h a t u ri n ea n d sp e rmtra velthr oughwhenthey leavethe
body.

D u r i n gp u b e r t yt h e s ep a r t sg r o w a l i t t l el a r g e a
r n d m o r es e n s i t i v e .
M a n y b o y sw o rry th a t th e i r p e n i sl o ol<differ
s
entfr om other s.As a
just lil<e
s mei n d i ffe r entsizesand shapes,
m a t t e ro f f a ct, p e n i seco
fe e t ,e a r s ,a n d n o se s.On esi zea n d shapeis asgoodasanother .
A l l b a b yb o y sa r eb o r nw i t h a f o l d o f s l < i nc,a l l e dt h e
F O R E S I < lpNa,r t i a l l cy o v e r i n g
t h e g l a n s( t i p ) o f t h e p e n i sS. o m e
p a r e n t sh a v ea d o cto rre mo veth e cover ingr ight after bir th,by a
s i m p l eo p e r a t i o cn a l l e dc i r c u m c i s i oO
s o n ' th a v ei t
n .t h e rp a r e n t d
re m o v e dEi
. th e rw a y i sfi n e .T h eo n l y differ ence
is this: maleswho
h a v ea f o r e s l < isnh o u l dc l e a ni n s i d ei t w h e nt h e ys h o w e ro r b a t h e .
D u r i n gp u b e r t ya v e r y i m p o r t a nct h a n g et a l < eps l a c ei n s i d ea
b o y ' sb o d y :s p e rmce l l ssta rtto b e made.Thesecellsar eextr em ely
t i n y . . . s e eunn d e ra m i c r o s c o pt h
e e y l o o l <l i l < e
s l < i n ntya d p o l e sl t. ' s
t h e s es p e r m<e l l sth a t ca u sea p re g n ancy.
Ever yper soneverbor nwas
s t a r t e db y a m a l e ' s p e r mc e l l j o i n i n g
w i t h a f e m a l e 'es g gc e l l .
Y o u n gs p e r mc e l l sa r e m a d ei n t h e T E S T E S
oT
, T E S T I C L(EbSo t h
w o r d sm e a nt h e s a m et h i n g ) ,t w o o v a l - s h a p egdl a n d si n s i d et h e
s c r o t u mA
. f t e r th e y ma tu reth e sp e r mcellsm ovethr oughtwo ver y
n a r r o wt u b e s,p a stg l a n d sl o ca te dj u st abovethe scr otum .Her e,other
f l u i d sa r ea d d e dm
, a l < i naa m i x t u r el < n o w a
n ss e m e n .

23

Beforewe go any further, you shouldknow about something

pretty often: erections.An ERECTION
that teenagemalesexperience
h a p p e nw
s h e ne xtrab l o o dfi l l ssp o n gytissuesinsidethe penis.The
p e n i sb e c o m e lsa rg e ra n dfi rme r,a n d sticl<s
out fr om the body.( ln
spiteof what somepeoplesay,there is no bonein the penis.)
for semento leave
When a malehasan erectionit is possible
i sth e w a y s em enis r eleased
thr oughhis
t h e b o d y .E JA C U L A T ION
p e n i sT
. h i sh ap p e n w
s h e n mu scl e as l l ar oundhissexor ganscontr act
s e v e r atli m e s,p u sh i n gth e se me no u t thr oughthe ur ethr ain a few
tinglyfeeling
li t t l es p u r t sAt
. th e sa meti me , h e u suallyhasa special
c a l l e dO R G AS M,
a n d h i sw h o l eb o d yfeelsr eallygood.Of cour se,a
maledoesnot ejaculateeverytime he hasan erection.(A drop or two
or not, the
o f f l u i d m a y co meo u t, th o u g h .)Wh etherhe ejaculates
e r e c t i o nw i l l g ra d u a l l yg o a w a y.

sperm cells as seen

in a microscope

ejaculation
non-erect

(\\
|

A l l l < i n dosf s i g h t ss, o u n d sa, n dt h o u g h t sc a nc a u s ea n e r e c t i o n

- e v e ns o m et h a t d o n 'tse e mto h a vea n ythingto do with sex.That' s
. ', , h ey r e c t i o n cs a nh a p p e na t u n e xp e cted
timesand places,
lil< ein m ath
: i a s so r w h i l ew a t c h i n gT V ,A l m o s ta l l m a l e sh a v ee r e c t i o nosf f a n do n
. ' r h i l teh e y ' r ea s l e e pa, n d m a n yw a l < eu p w i t h a n e r e c t i o nW
, ith each
ejaculation
u ,p t o a t e a s p o o o
n f s e m e ni s r e l e a s e d
5 .u r p r i s i n g ltyh,i s
s m a l al m o u n to f f l u i dc o n t a i n as n a v e r a g o
e f 4 0 0 m i l l i o ns p e r mc e l l s .
l v e n t h o u g hs e m e na n d u r i n ec o m eo u t t h r o u g ht h e s a m eo p e n i n g
n t h e p e n i st,h e ya r ee n t i r e l yd i f f e r e n tU. r i n ea n ds e m e nc a n n o tb e
' e l e a s eadt t h e s a m et i m e .
W h e nt h e p e n i si sf u l l y e r e c t h e o p e n i n gf r o m t h e b l a d d e r
< l o s e ss,o n o u r i n ec a nc o m eo u t . E j a c u l a t i ocna nb ec a u s e d
in several
, v a y sM
. a n y b o y sh a veth e i r fi rst e j a cu lation
whilethey ar easleep.
T h i si sc a l l e da W E T D R E A MT. h e ym a y r e m e m b ehr a v i n ga d r e a m
a b o u ts e x .O t h e rt i m e st h e yw o n ' t r e m e m b ear n yd r e a m- t h e r em a y
, 1 u sbtea l i t t l es p o to n t h e s h e e ti n t h e m o r n i n gT. h i sm i g h tb ea I i t t l e
emb a r r a s s i nbg,u t mo st p a re n tsl <n o wthat a wet dr eamis nor mal.lt
h a sn o t h i n gt o d o w i t h a c c i d e n t a lw
l ye t t i n gt h e b e d .A w e t d r e a mi s a
h e a l t h ys i g no f g r o w i n gu p .

Q. r ft normalfor onetestictetobebigger?
A. n is notuncommonfor oneto be slightly larger...andit is
perfectly normal.

>5

Q. no, muchhair will I get on my chest?

A. fni, will dependon heredity. If your father hasa hairy chest,
you probably will too. Whenthis occurs,however,differs from
personto person.
An o t h erw a y b o ysma y e j a cu l ate
is thr oughM ASTURBATION.
W h e n a m a l em a stu rb a te s,
h e stro l <es
or r ubshispenisup and down in
and
a w a y t h a t f e e l sg o o d .T h e rea re ma n ym ythsaboutmastur bation
m a n ys l a n ge xp re ssi o nasre u se dfo r i t. The impor tantthing to know
is t h a t m a s t u rb a ti odno e sn 'tca u sea n y physical
or mentalhar m .Don' t
b e l i e v es t o r i e sth a t i t ca u se b
s o ysto run out of sem enor loseinter est
ingirls.
M a n y pe o p l eb e l i e vema stu rb ation
is a nor m al,healthything to
do . O t h e r sj u s t d o n 'tfe e lco mfo rta b l e
aboutit. They' r enot sur ewhy
- m a y b eb e c au se
o f so me th i n gth e y w er eoncetold.And som epeople
s r mo ralr easons.
be l i e v ei t i s w r o n gfo r re l i g i o u o
But m ostpeopley o u n g ,o l d , m a rri e do r u n ma rri e d mastur bate
fr om tim e to tim e.And
t h e y a l l s h o u ldl <n o wth a t i t w o n 't d o them any har m,whetherthey
c h o o s et o d o i t o r n o t.
M a l e sma y a l soe j a cu l a te
w h e nthey havesexualcontactwith
. eki n do f co n ta cti s often < alled"m al<ing
a n o t h e rp e r s o nOn
out."This
par tsof
m e a n st o u c h i n go r b e i n gto u ch e do n the sexuallysensitive
t h e b o d y .E j a cu l a ti oca
n nh a p p e ne venwithout touchingthe penis
( W e' r egetting
d i r e c t l yAn
. o t h e rl <i n do f co n ta cti s se xualinter cour se.
to that soon.)

>6

6ROWIN6UPFEMALE
Y o u m ay h a ven o ti ce dth a t fo r manygir lspuber tystar tsa year
rr t w o e a r l i e th
r a n fo r b o yso f th e sa meage.Oneof the fir stchanges
s i n a g i r l ' sb r e a s tU
. s u a l l tyh e n i p p l ea r e aw i l l g e t d a r l < earn d l a r g e r
c r s t .T h e nt h e fa tty ti ssu eth a t fo rmsthe br eastsbeginsto gr ow.

>7

A l o t of g i rl sw o rry a b o u tth e way their br eastslool<.ls one a

li t t l e l a r g e rt h a t th e o th e r?A re th e y too big? Too small?Thewr ong
s h a p e ?l t ' se asyto g e t th i s i d e afro m TV and m oviesand magazines,
t h a t o n e ,"p erfe ct"fi g u rei s b e stfo r all women.Not tr ue! Beautiful
p e o p l ec o m ei n a l l si ze sa n d sh a p e s.
Peoplewho lear nto appr eciate
t h e i r o w n s p e ci allo o l <h a vea h a p p yself- confidence,
whichmal<es
t h e m l i k e a b l ea n d a ttra cti veto o th e rs.
D u r i ngp u b e rty,a g i rl 'sh i p sg r ow wider ,too. Thismal<es
her
w a i s tl o o l <s ma l l e r,g i vi n gh e rth e cu rvedbodyshapethat most matur e
w o m e nh a v e .L i keb re a sts,
so meg i rl s' hipsgr ow a lot, and other sgr ow
j u s ta l i t t l e .

Q. rc ft normalfor oneboobto bebiggerthanthe other?

A. Yrr.Noone hasbothof themexacttythe samesize.Tne
maygrowsoonerthan the othermakingthis morenoticeable.

T h e r eare so meo th e rsma l lch anges

whichar e not so easyto
se e /e v e nt h o u g hth e y a reo n th e o u tsideofthe body.Thesechanges
a r e i n t h e VU L V A ,a w o rd th a t me a nsall the sexualpar tslocated
b e t w e e na g i rl 'sl e g s.D u ri n gp u b e rtyall the par tsof the vulvagr ow
s l i g h t l yl a r g e a
r n d m o r es e n s i t i v e .

28

fallopian tube

ovary
cervtx
vagina

outer lip

T h eo u t e rp a r to f t h e v u l v a- t h e o u t e rl a b i ao r O U T E RL l P S- i s
a p r o t e c t i v ec o v e ri n gfo r th e re st.D u ri ngpuber ty,hairgr owson
a n da r o u n dt h e s eo u t e rl i p s W
, h e nt h e l e g sa r ea p a r t ,t h e o u t e rl i p s
p
a
s ep a r a t seo t h a t th e o th e r rtso f th e vulvaar e uncover ed.
The inner
l a b i ao, r I N N E RL l P 5 p, r o v i d ea n o t h e rp r o t e c t i v lea y e r P
. a r t l yh i d d e n
b y t h e i n n e rl i p s w
, h e r et h e yj o i n a t t h e t o p , i st h e C L l T O R l S
l t .i s o f t e n
c ov e r e db y a l i t tl e h o o do f sl <i nso
, o n l y a sm allpar tcan be seen.Lil< e
any b o d yp a r t ,th e cl i to ri sco me si n d i ffer entsizesand shapes,
but
i s u s u a l l yn o l a r g e tr h a na p e a .T h ec l i t o r i si st h e s p e c i apl a r to f t h e
f e m a l e 'bs o d y ,w h i c hi s m o s ts e n s i t i vteo s e x u afle e l i n g as n dt o u c h i n g .
I t g e t ss l i g h t l yl a r g e a
r n df i r m e rw h e na g i r lo r w o m a nf e e l ss e x u a l l y
e x c i t e dI.n s o m ew a y s ,t h e n ,a f e m a l e 'csl i t o r i si s l i l < e
a m a l ep e n i s .

>9

l f a g i r l o r w o ma nma stu rb a tes,

sheusuallystr okesthis ver y
s e n s i t i va
e r e a .5 h ema y a l soto u cho ther par tsof the vulvain a way
t h a t f e e l sg o o d .S h ema y so me ti mecontinue
s
until shehasan or gasm ,
t h e s p e c i at li ng l yfe e l i n go f p l e a su re
that both malesandfem ales
c a nh a v e .F o ra fe ma l e a
, sfo r a ma l e,m astur bation
doesnot cause
a n y p h y s i c aolr m e n t a lh a r m .W h i l es o m ep e o p l eb e l i e v e
i t i sm o r a l l y
w r o n g ,o t h e rsb e l i e vei t i s a g o o dw a y for a gir l to lear nabouther
b o d ya n d h o w i t re sp o n d s.
Ma n y fe malesof all agesm astur bate;
o t h e r sc h o o s en o t to . E i th e rw a y i s n or mal.
Be l o wth e cl i to ri si s th e ti n y o peningof the URETHRA.
As in a
m a l e t, h i so p e n i n gi s u s e df o r u r i n a t i n gB. e l o wt h e u r e t h r aa f e m a l e
h a sa l a r g e o
r p e n i n gc, a l l e dt h e V A 6 l N A ,w h i c h< o n n e c tws i t h t h e
in s i d er e p r o du cti ve
o rg a n s.Ma n y g i rlshavea thin r ingof sl<inat the
o p e n i n go f t h e v a g i n ac, a l l e dt h e H Y M E NT. h eh y m e ni s s m a l a
l nd
h i d d e ni n t h e v a g i n aol p e n i n gs, o i t c a n n o tb es e e ni n t h e d r a w i n g .
T h o u g hi t i sj u st a p a rti a co
l ve ri n gi,t may pr ovidea littleextr a
p r o t e c t i o nAn
. a d u l tw o ma nra re l yh asa com pletehymen,because
it u s u a l l yh a sb e e nstre tch e d
to th e sidesof the vaginalopening.This
m a y h a p p e nd u r i n ge x e r c i s em, e d i c ael x a m i n a t i o nosr, w h i l eu s i n g
t a m p o n s l.f n o t, i t w i l l h a p p e nw h e n shefir sthassexualinter cour se.
5 o y o u c a ns eeth a t a g i rl 'sh yme nmay be goneeventhoughshehas
n e v e rh a ds e xu ailn te rco u rse .
An o t h e ro p e n i n gl o ca te dn e a rthe vulvais the AN US.Thisis the
o p e n i n gf o r bo w e lmo ve me n ts,
so ,o f cour se,maleshavethis opening,

30

t o o . W h i l eb o t h m a l e sa n df e m a l e sh a v ea u r e t h r aa n da n u s f, e m a l e s
a l s oh a v ea t h i r do p e n i n gt,h e v a g i n aT. h i si st h e o p e n i n gf o r s e x u a l
i n t e r c o u r sceh, i l d b i r t ha, n d m e n s t r u a t i o n .

MEN5TRUATTON
A v e r y i mp o rta n tp a rto f a g i rl 'sp uber tyis herfir st menstr ual
p e r i o dM
. e n s t r u a t i o no,r " h a v i n ga p e r i o do" r " t h a tt i m e o f t h e m o n t h "
i sa s i g nt h a t h e r b o d yi s m a t u r i n ga, n ds h ei s b e c o m i n ag b l et o g e t
pregn an t .
P r e g n a n ci sy p o s s i b lwe h e na n o v u m( e g gc e l l )i s r i p e n e da n d
rele a s efdr o m o ne o f h e r o va ri e s.
T h i sh appens
aboutoncea m onth,
a n di sc a l l e do v u l a t i o nT. h eo v u m i s v e r yt i n y - s m a l l etrh a t t h e h e a d
o f a p i n .A f t e r i t l e a ve sth e o va ry,th e o vum movesdown the Fallopian
t uD e .
l f a m a l e ' s p e r mc e l lr e a c h etsh e F a l l o p i atnu b ea t t h i st i m e ,
i t w i l l p r o b a b ljyo i n w i t h t h e o v u m .T h i sj o i n i n go f e g ga n ds p e r m
is c a l l e df e r t i l i z a ti o nA. fte r th e e g g i s fe r tilized,it continuesm oving
t h r o u g ht h e t u b e ,u n t i li t r e a c h etsh e u t e r u sT. h eu t e r u sa, l s oc a l l e d
t he " w o m b ",i s a n o rg a nth a t e ve ryfe malehaslow in her abdom en
( t u m m y ) .T h e u t e r u sh a sa s p e c i al il n i n g r, i c hi n b l o o da n d n u t r i e n t s .
31

T h e r e ,t h e f e r ti l i ze de g gca na tta cha nd gr ow.That is how pr egnancy

be gi n s .
eis no pr egnancy
and
l f t h e e g g i s n o t fe rti l i ze db y a s per m ther
,
t h e e g gd i s s o l ve s.
T h esp e ci alli n i n go f the uter usis no longerneeded,
s o i t b r e a k sd o w n a n d l e a ve sth e b o d y .Forabout 3to7 daysthis
m e n s t r u af l u i d ,m a d eu p o f t h e b l o o d - r i clhi n i n g c, o m e so u t t h r o u g h
t h e v a g i n aT. h i si sc a l l e dm e n s t r u a t i o n .
s
A m a t u refe ma l eme n stru a teabout
onceeachm onth.The
a v e r a g et i m e ,fro m th e b e g i n n i n go f o ne menstr ualper iodto the
b e g i n n i n go f t he n e xto n e ,i s2 8 d a ys.But it canr angefr om 20 to +0
d a y sf o r d i f f e re n w
t o me n .Wh e n g i rl sfir ststar thavingtheir per iod,
t h e y s o m e t i mesl
s <i p
a mo n th ,o r e ve na few m onths,at a
t im e .As t h e y ge t o l d e r,mo st h a veth eir per iodsmor er egular ly.But
e v e na d u l tw o me nso me ti me h
Somethingsthat can
s a vel a teper iods.
p
e
r
i
o
d
ma l < e
a
l a tea re :
. e m o ti o n astre
l
ss
o g f Ete xci te me n t
. s i c l < n e ss

. m a j o rc h a n g eisn d i e t
. t r a v e l i n go r c h a n g ei n c l i m a t e
. l o ssof sleep

A w o m a nu s u a l l yh a sn o p e r i o dw h i l es h ei s p r e g n a n t .
y n t i la w o m a ni s
O t h e r w i s em, e n s t r u a t i ouns u a l l yo c c u r sr e g u l a r l u
y
e
a
r
s
g
r
a
d
u
a
l
l
y
a b o u t5 0
o l d .T h e ns h ew i l l
s t o ph a v i n gp e r i o d as n d
w i l l n o l o n g e rb e a b l et o g e t p r e g n a n tT. h i st i m e i n a w o m a n ' sl i f ei s
c a l l e dm e n o p a u s e
32

Q. *, friends havegotten their periods.Is there anything I can

tlo to hurry mineup?
you'll be havingyour periodfor mqny
A. Sorry, no. Besides,
yearsso don't worry about rushing this process.Whileyou may be
anxiousto grow up and be like your friends, eachbody matures at
its own rate - the rate that isjust right for your body.If anyone
tells you they causedtheir period to start, it wasjust a coincidence,clespitewhat they say.

MOREABOUTMEN5TRUATTON
T o a b s o r bt h e m e n s t r u af l u i d ,g i r l sa n dw o m e nu s ee i t h e rp a d s
( s a n i t a rn
y a p k i n st)o l i n et h e i ru n d e r w e a o
r ,r t a m p o n st h a t a r eu s e d
i n t e r n a l ltyo a b s o r bt h e m e n s t r u af l u i d .B o t ha r em a d eo f a b s o r b e n t
m a t e r i a l sa,n da r ec h a n g e d
s e v e r at li m e sa d a y .T h e ya r es o l di n a n y
drugs t o r eo r s u p e rma rl <e t.

i
I

P a d sc o v e rt h e o p e n i n go f t h e v a g i n aM
. o s t l < i n dasr eh e l di n
p lac eb y a n a d h esi ve
stri pth a t sti cl <s
to the under wearTam
.
pons
a r ew o r n i n s i d et h e v a g i n aM
. a n yg i r l sa n dw o m e nf i n dt h e m m o r e
c o n v e n i e nt ht a n p a d sT. h e m u s c l eosf t h e v a g i n ah o l dt h e m i n p l a c es o
t h e yc a n n o ft a l l o u t .A n d s i n c et h e v a g i n ai s o n l ya f e w i n c h e sl o n ga n d
e n d sa t t h e u t e r u sa, t a m p o nc a n n o tp o s s i b lbye l o s ti n s i d e t h eb o d y .
33

Deciding
w h e th e rto u sep a d sor tamponsis a per sonal
choice.
Bo t hc o m ei n a va ri e tyo f typ e sa n d sizes.Many wom enusepads
. i r l sm i g h t
s o m e t i m easn dt a m p o n sa t o t h e rt i m e sd u r i n gt h e i rp e r i o dG
want to try severaldifferentproductsto find the onesthey lil<ebest.
: d i se a se
O n ew ord o f ca u ti o n a
< alledtoxicshocksyndr ome
(T S S o) c c u r smo sto fte n a mo n gg i rl sandwom enwho usetam pons.
Al t h o u g hT 5 5i s n o t fu l l y u n d e rsto o d,
ther ear ewaysa gir l or wom an
can protectherselffrom getting it. To be on the safeside,tampons
s h o u l db e c h a n g e da t l e a sto n cee ve rysix hour s,anda padshouldbe
wo r n , i n s t e a dfo
, r a t l e a sta fe w h o u rsof eachday dur ingmenstr ual
pe r i o d s .
G i r l sw ho w a n t to re a dmo rea bouttakingcar eof themselves
d u r i n gm e n s tru a ti o<a
n nre a do n e o f the pam phlets
or bool<listed
s
at
t h e e n d o f t h i s b o o l <.
M a n y gi rl sfe e lg l a dw h e nth e i r per iodsfir st star t,because
t h i s m e a n st h a t t h e i rb o d i e sa r eg r o w i n ga n dw o r l < i n n
go r m a l l y .
"dr
ag."
O t h e r sm a y a t fi rstfe e lth a t h a vi n gp er iodsis a
Somepeople
ev e na c t I i l < eme n stru a ti o ins d i rty o r shameful,maybebecause
they
d o n o t u n d e r sta n idt. Wh i l e me n struating
m ay som etimes
seem
in c o n v e n i e nit,t i s a sp e ci awl o ma n l ysignof a healthybody.
M o s t wo me nfe e lfi n e d u ri n gtheir per iods.
Som ehavea
lit t l ed i s c o m fo rtd u ri n go r j u st b e fo re.( r ampingin the lowerbacl<
or a b d o m e nsl
, i g h tw e i g h tg a i n ,a fe e lingof heaviness,
headaches,
4

Many gir ls
or f e e l i n ge d g ya n d e a si l yu p se ta recom m onsym ptoms.
ha v et h e s ep r o b l e msl e ssa n d l e ssa sthey get older .A healthydiet
a gir l
a n d r e g u l a r exe rci se
ma y h e l p ,b u t i f discom foris
t r eallysever e,
s h o u l ds e eh e r d o cto r.

N o rma lMe n strualCycle

LiningSheds(Period) Ovum Matures Ovum Released(Ovulation)

35

Duringpubertya girl may noticeanotherchangein her body.

T h e r em a y b e a l i ttl e b i t o f cl e a ro r w hitishfluid in or ar oundthe
va g i n a o
, r o n h e r u n d e rw e a r.
T h i sn o r maldischar ge
is the vagina' way
s
of keepingclean,just astearsand salivanaturallykeepthe eyesand
mo u t hc l e a n.A sma l la mo u n to f fl u i d is alwayspr esentin the vagina.
A girl or woman may noticemore moistureat certaintimes,especially
aroundthe time of ovulation,about a weekafter a menstrualperiod
e n d s .D a y d r e a ms,
n i g h td re a ms,a n d excitingthoughts,aswell as
masturbationand sexualcontact,canalsocauseextrawetness.lf
t h e r ei s n o i t ch i n g ,b u rn i n go r o th e rdiscomforther
eis no needto
t
perfectly
worry. All this is
normal.

5EXUALINTERCOURSE
you can
N o w t h a t y o u l <n o wa b o u tth e b o diesof both sexes/
is all about.Fr omthe
b e t t e ru n d e r s t a nw
d h a t se xu ailn te rco u r se
illust r a t i o nyso u ca nse eth a t th e ma l ea ndfem alesexor gansar e
one is an "inny"and one
s hap e ds ot h a t t he y ca nfi t to g e th e rb e cause
That' sit.
is an " o u t t y . "l t i s th i sfi t th a t a l l o w sfo r sexualinter cour se.
q
u
i
t
e
I t ' sr e a l l yq u i t es i m p l eB
complicated.
. u t i t ' sa l s o

THE"WHYs"
canbe one of the
I n t h e r i g ht ci rcu msta n cese
s, xu alinter cour se
. it is not
m o s tr e w a r d i n ge xp e ri e n ceasco u p l eca nhavetogetherBut
asyou get
a s imp l em a t t e r ,a n dyo u w i l l fi n d i t e a sierto under stand
s a v e r yp e r s o n a l t h i n g ,
o l d e r .F o rm o s tp e o p l eh, a v i n gi n t e r c o u r si e
a n d b e l o n gos n l y i n a c l o s et,r u s t i n ga, n d r e s p o n s i brl e l a t i o n s h i p .
W h e na ma na n dw o ma na rea ttractedto eachother ,being
c los ea n dt o u c h in gca nma l <e
th e m fe e lsexuallyexcited.Thism eans
t hey h a v eg o o df e e l i n g sa l l o ve r.T h ew o man' svaginabecomes
er ect.W henthey feelthis
morem o i s t ,a n dth e ma n 'sp e n i sb e co mes
way ,t h e y m a y wa n t to b e sti l lcl o se r.If they decideto havesexual
, that the men' s
in t e r c o u r s et h, e y p u t th e i r b o d i e scl o setogether so
p e n i sc a ns l i d ei n t ot h e w o m a n ' sv a g i n aT. h i si s a c t u a l l yp l e a s u r a b l e

'. 37

t o b o t h ,a n dt he y co n ti n u emo vi n gi n waysthat feelgood.They

may lastjust
e n j o yb e i n ga scl o sea stw o p e o p l eca nbe. lnter cour se
a m i n u t eo r t wo , o r fo r q u i tea w h i l e ,often until one or both hasan
( an or gasm) he
, ejaculates
o r g a s mU
. s u a l l yth e ma n 'sfe e l i n g sp e al<
manycouples
a n d h i se r e c t i o ng ra d u a l l yg o e sa w a y.After inter cour se
c o n t i n u et o h ol de a cho th e rfo r a w h i le,and enjoyfeelingclose.These
canbe so
in t i m a t ef e e l in g sa reo n e re a so nw h y sexualinter cour se
s o e c ila.

Q. Oortit hurtto haveintercourse?

experi'
A. No,it doesn't-orit shouldn't.If it'snot a pleasurable
is forcingyouto hmtesex,or if youthink thereis
encqif someone
a medicalproblem,youshoulddefrnitelytalk withyourdoctoror
a healthprofessional.

it' s not as
ca ng i veth i s uniquepleasur e,
E v e nt h o u g hi n te rco u rse
s i m p l ea s i t m a ys o u n d .

"WHY.NOTs"
AND...THE
get star ted.W hen
i s a l soh o w pr egnancies
S e x u alin te rco u rse
in the female' svagina,
h i ssp e rmce l l sa re r eleased
t h e m a l ee j a cu l a te s,
c
e l li st h e r ea t t h e
l
f
a
n
e
g
g
t
u
b
e
s
.
a n d m o v et o w a r dh e r F a l l o p i a n
38

t im e , i t w i l l p r o b a b l yb efe rti l i ze da n d a pr egnancy

couldbegin.But
g e t t i n gp r e g n an bt e fo reyo u a re re a d yto r aisea childpr esents
anyone
s d d e ci si o nth
wit h p r o b l e m an
s a t ca ncom plicate
one' slife.
A f e w y ou n gp e o p l e(a p p ro xi mately
1 in ! haveinter cour se
wh i l et h e y a r esti l l i n th e i r e a rl yte e n s.M ost wait untilthey ar e
o ld e r .F o r m a nyre a so n ist'sj u st sma rterto wait. Foronething,som e
t e e n a g e rasr e n 'tre a d yfo r th e e mo ti o nalfeelingsandvulner ability
t h a t s e x u ailn t i ma cyca ncre a tea n d e n d up feelinghur t or upset.Also,
havi n gi n t e r c o u rse
ca ncre a tese ri o u sp r oblemsa youngper sonisn' t
rea d yt o d e a lw i th , l i l <ep re g n a n cy
a n d s exually
tr ansm itteddiseases
(5TDs).

Q ,f rou don't like h cloyou haveto cloit again?

A. Uo.Youhavethe right to say whenand if you'll do it again.

T h i sb o o l <w i l l te l l yo u mo rea b outpr egnancy

and STDs.For
now ,j u s t r e m emb eth
r a t a n yo n ew h o hassexualinter cour se
needs
t o l < n o wh o w t o p re ve n tth e m.S o meteenagerdon'
s
t believethat
p re g n a n coyr S T D sca nh a p p e nto th e m. But they can- eventhe fir st,
o r o n l y ,t i m e a pe rso nh a si n te rco u rse.
39

Thereare other good reasonsfor teenagersto wait beforethey have

Why is it betterto wait? Togetherwith your parents,try
intercourse.
li s t i n gs o m ead va n ta g ehse re .

PREGNANCY
5 o , p r e gn a n cy
i s sta rte db y se xualinter cour se
betweena m an
a n da w o m a n .N o w w e w i l l t e l l y o u a b o u tw h a t h a p p e nbs e t w e e nt h e
t i m ew h e nt h e e g ga n ds p e r ma r ej o i n e da n dt h e t i m e a b a b yi s b o r n .
F e r t i l i z a t i ohna p p e nisn o n eo f t h e F a l l o p i atnu b e s a
, t theend
c lo s e stto t h e o va ry.F o rth e n e xt4 to 5 days,the fer tilizedeggcell
c o n t i n u e tso mo ved o w n th e tu b e u n til it r eaches
the uter us.Thisis
wh e r em o s to f i ts g ro w thw i l l ta l <ep l a c e.

Pregnancy
Cycle
Ovum Matures

The Baby
is Born

OvumReleased OvumJoined

Menstrual
Cycle
BeginsAgain

the uter us,the blood- r ich

B y t h e t i me th e fe rti l i ze de g g reaches
. ithin
g
i
v
e
i t t h e n o u r i s h m e ni tt n e e d sf o r g r o w i n gW
l i n i n gi s r e a d yt o
. e,
a f e w d a y s ,i t a tta ch e to
s th e i n si d eo f the uter us( im plantation)Her
it g r o w sf o r a b o u t9 mo n th s.U n ti lth e endof the secondmonth it is
c a l l e da n e m b r y o F
. r o mt h e n u n t i lb i r t h ,i t i sc a l l e da f e t u s .
changeshappen
As t h e pre g n a n cy
d e ve l o p s,
so mer em ar l<able
wit h i n t h e w o ma n 'sb o d y.F ro mth e p laceinsidethe uter uswher e
t h e e g g i s a t t a ch e dth
, e u mb i l i caco
l rdgr ows.Thiscor dcar r ies
n o u r i s h m e nan
t d o xyg e n b
, o th n e e d edfor gr owth,fr om the wom an' s
fetus.Sincethe
b lo o d s t r e a m
t o th e b l o o d stre a m
o f th e developing
f e t u sd o e sn o t e a t o r b re a th eu n ti l i t i s bor n,ever ythingit needsmust
p a s st h r o u g ht hi s co rd .A l so ,th e a mn i oticsac,a bagfilledwith water y
f lu i d ,g r o w sa r o u n dth e e mb ryo ,a n d staysther ethr oughoutthe
p re g n a n c yT.h i s" b a go f w a te r"cu sh i ons
and pr otectsthe developing
f etu s .
, ma l <ero o mfo r th e gr owingfetus,the uter us
O f c o u r seto
mu s ts t r e t c ha l o t. D u ri n gp re g n a n cy,
the uter uschanges
fr om the size
o f a p e a rt o t h e si zeo f a sma l lw a te rmelon.Natur ally,the pr egnant
wo m a n ' ss h a pea l soch a n g e to
s ma l <eroomfor her gr owinguter us.
to the sizeit
Af te r t h e b a b yi s b o rn ,th e u te ru sg ra duallyshr inksbacl<
was beforepregnancy.

+2

CHILDBIRTH
the mothergivesbir th
Af t e r a b o u tn i n emo n th so f p re gnancy,
t o h e r b a b y .W i th e a chp a ssi n g
mo n th ,the fetushasbecomecloser
t o b e i n gr e a d yf o r b i rtha n d a b l eto su rviveoutsideits mother ' s
b o d y .W h e nt h e ti me fo r b i rth i s n e a r,the motherfeelsthe muscles
of h e r u t e r u sf i r ml y sq u e e zi negve ryfe w m inutes.Thisis r efer r edto
, cer vix( the
g str ongerthe
as" g o i n gi n t o l a b o r."A s th e sq u e e zi ngets
the
top
of
the vagina)
ope n i n ga t t h e bo tto mo f th e u te ru sa n d at
gra d u a l l ys t r e t ch eos p e nmo rea n d mo r e.Thism ay tal<ea few hour s
g a r dt o a l l o wt h e
o r m a n yh o u r sd u r i n gw h i c hh e r b o d yi s w o r l < i n h
b a b yt o b e d e l i ve re dD. u ri n gth i sti me ,the m othertr iesto stayr elaxed
wh i l et h e m u s cl e os f h e r u te ru sw o rl <h ar dto openandthen to push
t he b a b yo u t . F i n a l l y,th e ce rvi xstre tches
openwide enoughfor the
b a b y ' sh e a dt o pa ssth ro u g h .
T h e nt h e mo th e rb e g i n sto p u shdown,as har dasshecan,with
with the squeezing
t he m u s c l e os f h e r a b d o me nH
. e r e ffo rtcombines
of h e r u t e r u st o p u shth e b a b yi n to th e vagina,usuallyheadfir st.Then
wit h i n m i n u t e s,th e b a b ysl i p sfro m th e m other ' sbodyinto the outside
world.
W h e n a ba b yco me so u t, i t i s sti l lattachedto its umbilicalcor d.
Now t h a t t h e n e w b o rnca nsta rt b re a thingand eatingon its own, it
doesn'n
t e e dt h is co n n e cti o n
a n y mo re .Soonafter bir th,the cor dis
andthe
c u t , c l o s et o t h e b a b y'stu mmy.C u tti n gthe cor dis painless,
s m a l cl u t w i l l s o o nh e a l T
. h es h o r tp i e c eo f t h e c o r dd r i e su p a n df a l l s
43

of f. W h a t r e ma i n sb e co meyo
s u r n a vel,or bellybutton.Ever ybody
has
a n a v e lw h e r eth e i r u mb i l i caco
l rdu se dto beattached.
l s t h e r ea n y t h i n gy o u w o u l dl i l < e
y o u r m o m o r d a da b o u t
to asl<
y o u r o w n b i r t h? Ma yb eth e y e ve nto o l<pictur esof your deliver y.
Wr i t e y o u r q u esti o nas sw e l l a sth e i r a nswer sher e.Youcanusethese
f or s t a r t e r s: ( w h a t ti me o f d a y d i d yo ur mom go into Iabor ?;was her
l a b o rs h o r to r l o n g7 ; w e r ey o u b o r ni n a h o s p i t a l ?w; a sy o u rf a t h e ri n
t he d e l i v e r yr o o mw i th h e r? ):

( h i l d b i r thu su a l l yta l <e p

s l a ceth e way we havedescr ibed,
but
o c c a s i o n a lsl o
y methinu
g n u s u ahl a p p e n sl f. y o u a r e i n t e r e s t eidn s o m e
o f t h e u n u s u a l t h i n gyso, u a n dy o u r p a r e n t sm i g h tw a n t t o d o s o m e
rea d i n gi n a g o o db o o l <o r e n cycl o p e dia.
Som einter esting
thingsto
le a r na b o u ta r e:tw i n s,tri p l e ts,C a e sar ean
section,br eechbir th,and
pre m a t u r eb i r th .

Q. Uo, do twins cleciclewho will come out first?

A. fnry flip a coin?I donXthink so.Seriously,it's just a question
of timing anclpositioning-thoughthe frrst oneout is foreverthe
'oldest".

++

W h i l ea w o ma ni s p re g n a n t,h e r br eastsget r eadyto m al<em ill<

f o rf e e d i n gt h e ba b ya fte r i t i s b o rn .S h or tlyafter the bir th,hor mones
a re re l e a s eadsa si g n aso
l th a t th e b re a stsbeginto pr oducethis m ill< .
Most babiesare ableto sucl<from their mother'sbreastssoonafter
b irt h b e c a u sseu cl <i nigs a n i n sti n ctth e y ar e bor nwith. Many m other s
enjo yf e e d i n gt h e i r b a b i e sth i s w a y. B re astm ill<is a completeand
n o u r i s h i n fgo o d fo r a n e w b o rnfo r ma n ymonths.lt is bestfor a baby
but, for one reasonor another,a mother may preferor needto feed
h e r b a b yw i t h a bo ttl eo f a b a b ymi l l <fo rmula.Eitherway is fine.
Wh ic hw a y w e r eyo u fe d w h e nyo u w e rean infant?

How l o n gd i d y o u d ri n l <mi l l <b e fo reyo u star tedeatingotherfoods?

Wha t w a sy o u r f i rst so l i dfo o d a fte r mi l k asa baby?

''.+5,'
..4

HEREDIry...Whot
MokesYou,yOU
W h a t ma l <eosn e p e rso nta l l a nd anothershor t?W hy do some
p e o p l ei n t h e sa mefa mi l yl o o l <a l i l <e,
and other slool<differ ent?why
d o i d e n t i c a l t w i nl so o ka l i l < ew
? h y d o d o g sg i v eb i r t ht o l i t t l ed o g s ,
a n dc o w sh a v el i t t l ec o w s ,a n d h u m a n sh a v el i t t l eh u m a n s ?
l n s i d ee ve ryce l lo f e ve ryl i vi n gthing ar e manychr omosomes.
T h e s ec h r o mo so meca
s rryth e ma sterplanfor how that plantor
a n i m a lw i l l g ro w .T h e sh a p eo f yo u r nose,the colorof your sl<in,
and
t h e t y p e o f h a i ryo u h a vea rea l l co n tr olledby your own individualset
o f c h r o m o s ome s.
A l l h u ma n sg e t h a l fo f th e i r chr omosomes
fr om the father ' s
s p e r ma n d h a l ffro m th e mo th e r'so vum .sincethe childonly getshalf
o f e a c hp a r e n t'sma ste rp l a n ,so mep ar tsar e incr uded
and som ear e
le f t o u t . T h a t i s w h y mo st<h i l d re nl o oksom ethinglil< etheir par ents,
b u t n o t e x a ctl yl i l <eth e m.
E v e r ym a n h a sso mesp e rmce llsthat car r ya ..fem ale,,
c h r o m o s o man
e d o th e rsth a t ca rrya "male"chr om osome.
whether a
ne w b a b yi s a g i rl o r a b o y d e p e n d o
s n whichtype of sper mfer tilized
t h e m o t h e r ' so vu m.

+6

HAVINGsEX WITHOUTHAVINGA BABY

5 o n o w y o u l <n o wq u i tea b i t a b o utpuber ty.You l< nowthat
p u b e r t ym e a n syo u r b o d yw i l l ch a n g eto an adult body,capableof
re p r o d u c i n gYo
. u l <n o wth a t a l l th ro u g hlifeever yonehassexual
f e e l i n g sa n dt h a t th e sefe e l i n g sg ro w strongerdur ingpuber ty.
And you l<nowthe process
of how a babyis made,how it grows
p
r
e
g
n
a
n
c
y
during
a n dh o w i t i s b o r n .
e venif they do not want a baby
O f t e na < o u p l eh a si n te rco u rse
righ tt h e n .So mep e o p l ep re fe rto h a veno childr en.Som epr eferto
wait u n t i l a t i m e w h e nth e y ca nb e tte r<ar efor a <hild.Somealr eady
h a v ea n u m b e ro f ch i l d re nth e y w a n t.T hesecouplesusesomel<ind
).y u si ngcontr aception,
o f b i r t hc o n t r o l(co n tra ce p ti o nB
a couple
c anh a v ei n t e r c o u rse
a n d b e re a so n a b lsur
y ethey will not star ta
Pre g n a n c y .
O n ek i n do f b i rth co n tro lyo u p robablyhavehear daboutis
p i l l (o r j u st " th e p i l l " ).You mightalsohavehear d
t h e co n t r a c e p ti ve
of condoms("rubbers").
Thereare severalother waysto prevent
preg n a n c ye,a c hw i th i ts o w n a d va n ta ges.
,
Oneway or another they
p
r
e
v
e
n
ti
n
g
getting
togetherand
all w o r l <b y
th e e g ga n d sp e r mfr om
g ro w i n gi n t h e ute ru s.S o meme th o d sa r e pr escr ibed
by doctor sor
c lin i c sa, n d s o m ea re so l di n d ru g sto rewithout
lf you
s
a pr escr iption.
want to find out moreabout differentmethodsof contraception,
see
t h e r e a d i n gl i s tf or so mesu g g e stebdo o l< s.
.:.47
,.

Is therea femalecondom?
Q. wnot is a condom?
A. n condomis a latex(rubber)coveringthat fts snuglyon
an erectpenisthat will holdmalesperm.Thereare a varietyof
condomsandthey are reaclilyavailablein manydifferent kinclsof
designedfor femalesbut they
stores.Yes,thereare alsocondoms
arenot ascommon
andyoumayonlyfrndthemin healthclinics.

MAKINGLOVE(withoutmokingmistokes)
e haveinter cour se
fa cea l o t o f p r essurto
M a n y t ee n a g e rs
b e f o r et h e y a r e re a d y.S o me ti mete
s e nsthinl<that ever ybodyelseis
d o i n gi t . l t ' se asyto g e t th i s fro m T V shows,movies,and big- talking
friends.
B u t t h e tru th i s,mo stte e n a g erar
s e not havingsex.Most TV
s h o w sa n d m o vi e su sese xfo r o n e si mpler eason:it getsattention
a n d m a l < em
s o n e y.B u t th e sesh o w srar elyshowlifeas it r eallyis.And
f ri e n d sw h o t r y to g e t yo u to h a vese xar e not thinkingaboutwhat' s
be s tf o r y o u .
T h e r ea reso mei mp o rta n tth i n gsthat TV, movies,andfr iends
loveinvolvesour m ost
us u a l l yl e a v eou t. F o ro n eth i n g , ma l <ing
in t i m a t ef e e l i n g s.B e i n gth i s cl o sew i th som eonebefor eyou ar e r eady

+8

(an l e a v ey o u f e e l i n ge mb a rra ssehdu, rt,or used.Addingsexcan mal<e

p mp l i ca teadn d d i fficult.
a n i c er e l a t i o n sh ico
too.
y ansm itteddiseases)
, You
T h e r ea r e ma n yS T D s(se xu a l l tr
m a y n o t h a v eh e a rdo f so meo f th e m b ut they ar ever y muchar ound.
her pes,
ar echlam ydia,
Som ec o m m o non e s,e sp e ci a l lwy i th te enager s,
differ entpr oblems,
gen i t a w
l a r t s ,a n d g o n o rrh e aE. a cho n e causes
s u c ha ss o r e so r d a ma g eto i n te rn a ol rg ansthat can lim it your chance
of h a v i n ga b a b yw h e nyo u a re re a d yto haveone. STDsar e passed
from personto personwhen they havesex-even oral sex.
An y o n ewh o h a sse xn e e d sto kn ow how to avoidgettinga
a
s e x u a l l tyr a n s m i tte dd i se a seT.h e mo stser iousSTDis HIV/AID5,
vir us,or
dis e a scea u s e dby a vi ru s(th e h u ma ni m m unodeficiency
'H lV").AIDSattacl<s
to fight off
it
from
being
able
l<eeps
the bodyand
N e a rl ye ve ryo n ew i th A lDSneedsintensivem edical
ot h e rd i s e a s e s.
i ncludingdeath.Sexandthe
c ar et o p r e v e n tse ri o u sco mp l i ca ti o n s,
s h a r i n go f b o d i l yfl u i d si s o n e o f th e w a ysthat peopleget H lV. Other
w a y sa r es h a r i n gn e e d l etso s h o o td r u g s a, n dd u r i n gc h i l d b i r t hi f t h e
m o t h e ri s i n f e c te d .
isthat a Per son
s i s so h a rdto ta l <eser iously
W h a t m a l <eth
disease
for weel< s,
the
m a y b e i n f e c t edw i th o u t sh o w i n ga n y signsof
m o n t h s ,o r e v e nye a rs.T h i sma ke si t mucheasierfor thesediseases
p e o p l eo fte n h a vethe ger mswithout knowingit.
t o s p r e a db, e c a u se
w
a
y
t
o
T h eo n l y
b e su rei s to g o to a d o ctoror clinicfor testing.Ther e
a ret r e a t m e n t sfo r a l l S T D sso a n yo n ewho might haveone shouldbe
c h e c l < eadss o o na s p o ssi b l e

",43.;''

O f c o u rseth
, e b e stth i n g i s to pr otectyour selffr om gettingan
ST Di n t h e f i r st p l a ceT. h e rea rese ve ralwaysto do this.Oneway is
n o t h a v i n gs ex.S T D sca no n l y b e ca u ghtthr oughclosecontactwith
s o m e o n ew h o i s a l re a d yi n fe cte dA. s l ongasyou don' t havesex,you
wo n ' t g e t a s e xu a l l tra
y n smi tte dd i se ase.
S o m e d a y,
th o u g h ,yo u w i l l p robablywant to havea r elationship
t h a t i n c l u d e se
s x.Wh e n yo u a re ma tur eand r eadyfor this, you can
protectyourselfby having"safersex."SafersexmeansEACHperson
u s e sa b i r t h c on tro lme th o d .l t a l someansbeingascer tainasyou can
t h a t t h e p e r s onyo u h a vese xw i th i s not infected.you will needto be
a b l et o t a l l <w i t h t h a t p e r s o na b o u ta l l o f t h i s ,a n dy o u w i l l n e e dt o
t ru s t t h a t p e r so n .
W h a t l < i n do f p e r s o nd o y o u i m a g i n ew o u l dh a v ea n S T D ?I n
f a c t ,a l l l < i n dos f p e o p l eg e t th e m.Y o ucan' ttell by people'clothes,
s
or
wh o t h e i r f r i e n d sa re ,o r w h e reth e y l ive.Youcanonly tell by l<nowing
s o m e o n ev e r y w e l l ,ta l l <i n g
a b o u tS T Ds,andtr ustingthat per sonto
l< n o wa b o u tST D sa n dto b e h o n e stw i th you.
You canseethereare lots of thingsyou needto l<nowbefore
y o u ' r er e a d yf o r se x.L e a rn i n ga b o u tS TDsand safersexis one par t.
Le a r n i n ga b o u tb i rth co n tro li s a n o th er You
.
alsoneedto under stand
yourself.And you needto be ableto be a good partner.That'sa lot to
le a r n ,b u t y o u h a vep l e n tyo f ti me . D on' tlet anyonepushyou befor e
y o u ' r eg o o da n d re a d y.

50

H o w d o yo u l <n o ww h e nyo u cantr ust someone?

Seeif your
pa r e n t sc a n h el pyo u fi g u reth i s o u t.

AREYOU READYFORA 9ABY?

Be i n ga g o o dp a re n ti s o n e o f the toughestjobs in the wor ld.
It takesa lot to be readyfor parenthood.Try listingthe five most
im p o r t a n tq u al i ti e syo u th i n l <p a re n tneedsto have,and askyour mom
o r d a dt o d o t he sa me :
Yo u rL i s t :

Y o u rPa r e n t ' L
s i st:

lf you are not readyto havea baby,you are not readyto have
unprotectedsexualintercourse.
',,,,51
/

GOOD5TART
5o now you know moreabout puberty.You canseeit hasa lot
to do with sexand reproduction.
Theseare big subjects,and there are
a lo t o f o t h e r in te re sti n th
g i n g sto kn ow.By shar ingthis book,you
and your parentshavemadea good start. But any bookcoversonly a
s m a l lp a r t o f a l l th e rei sto kn o w , H o p efullyyou will continueto talk
and learntogether.

Theremay be otherthingsyou arewonderingabout.Somereal

guestionsby preteenshavebeenaskedthroughoutthis bool<.
Thereis
n o s u c ht h i n ga sa stu p i dq u e sti o nl.f you havequestions,
listthem her e:

No w t h a t y o u a rea l mo sta te e n a g e r,
a s kyour par entsif ther ear e
o t h e rt h i n g st h a t th e y w o u l d l i keyo u to know.W r ite their answer s
here:

Du r i n gt h e n e xtfe w ye a rsyo u w i l l l e a rna lot m or eabout

u n d e r s t a n d i nyo
g u rse l af n d o th e rs.F romeachnew per sonyou get
t o kn o w ,y o u w i l l l e a rnmo rea n d mo reaboutwhat you want fr om a
c lo s er e l a t i o n sh i pN. o o n e l <n o w th
s i s aheadof tim e. Lear ningabout
lov ea n d s e xc on ti n u e a
s l l th ro u g hl i fe .
,53,r

THE PUBERWPVZZLE
p u zz lecomef r om the par ts of th is
All th e an s w e rsto th i s cro ssw o rd
j
u
st
b o o l <t h a t y o u ha ve
re a d .F i l li n th e answer syou l< now,andasl<
y o u r p a r e n t fso r h e l pw i t h t h e o n e sy o u ' r en o t s u r ea b o u t .
(T h ec o r r e c ta n sw e rsa resh o w no n th e bottomof the next page.)

5+

Across:
3 . T h em a l es e xc e l lw h i c hc a nf e r t i l i z ea n o v u m i s c a l l e da - c e l l .
6. W h e na m a l e 'sp e n i sb e co me lsa rg erandfir mer ,this is an p ro d u cefe malehor m onesand stor eegg
7.The
cells.
produce
s p e r mc e l l sa n dt h e m a l e
8. T h e
hormone.
1 0 .A n
i s re l e a sefr
d om the ovar Vaboutoncea
m o n t h i n ma tu refe ma l e s.
1 2 .T h ef e m a l eo rg a nth a t i s mo stse nsitive
to sexualfeelingsis
t h ep ro d u ce di n th e se xglandsof both malesand
13-are
f e m a l e sa ndca u seth e ch a n g e o
s f puber ty.

Down:
1 . A f e r t i l i z e do vu m (e g g )a tta ch e sa nd gr owsin a wom an' s2 . T h e m a l eo rg a nth a t ca nb e co meer ectis the- .
4 . Ab o u t o n cea mo n thth e l i n i n go f the uter usbr eal<down
s
and
l e a v e st h e b o d y.T h i si s ca l l e d
5 . T h eo p e n i n gw h e reth i s me n stru al
fluidcomesout of the body
i st h e
that holdsa m ale' s
9.The
i s th e th i cl <p o u chof sl< in
testicles.
11.
i st h e s p e c i at il n g l yf e e l i n go f s e x u apl l e a s u rien
b o t h m e nan dw o me n .
e u r 6 e 4' S u o r l e n r t s u a w' t
sal)rlsel'B

s e u o u r o H' L
seuP^o z

!ssi

use6rg '1,1,
s t u a d' <
s u o ] ! l )' r L
uorl)ar:l'9

unlor)s'6
s n r a l n' L : u M o c
urn^o '0 L
urracs :ssor)v
srEMsuv

MoreGoodBooksfor You
What's Happening to My Body? Book for Boys
What's Happening to My Body? Book for Girls
(Newmarket
By LyndaMadaras
Press,
2000)
My Feelings, My Self; A Growing-Up Guide for Girls
(Newmarket
By LyndaMadaras
Press,
2002)
Ready, Set Grow: A "What's Happening Book to My Body?" a bookfor youngergirls
(Newmarket
By LyndaMadaras
Press,
2003)
Changing Bodies, Changing Lives: A Book for Teens on Sex and Relationships
By RuthBell(ThreeRiversPress,1998)
The New Teenage Body Book
(Perigee,
Wibblesman
By Dr.KathyMccoyandDr.Charles
1999)
It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex & Sexual Health
By RobieHarris(Candlewick,
1996)
Boys and Sex
ByJoelyCarey(Barrons,2002)
From Boys to Men
B y M i c h a e lG u r i a n a n d B r i a n F i o c a( P r i c eS t e r n S l o a n , 1 9 9 8 )

The Guy Book: An Owners Manual

By MavisJukes(Crown,2002)
What's Going on Down There? Answers to Questions Boys Find Hard to Ask
By K. Gravel(Walker
& Co,1998)
The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls (American Girl Library)
(Pleasant
ByValerie
Schaefer
1998)
Company,
PERIOD.A Girls Guide
(BookPeddlers,
ByJoAnnLoulan
Wodhen
andBonnie
L979& 2001)
Deal With It! A Whole New Approach to Your Body, Brain & Life as a Gurl
(Pocket,
By EsterDrill,H. Mcdonald,
R.Odes
1999)
This Book is About Sex
ByTucker
ShawandFionaGibb(Puffin,
2000)
What's the Big Secret? Talking About Sex with Girls & Boys
By Laurie
andMarcBrown(LittleBrown,
2000)
Where Did I Come From?
By Peter Mayle (Citadel, 2000)

56

Websitesfor Teensand Preteens

rrvw.teenwire,com
Sexualityand relationshipinformationfrom the trustedorganizationof Planned
Parenthood
websiteis specifically
Federation
This award-winning
of America(PPFA).
<lesigned
to appealto teensand containsaccurate,factualinformationand interactive
activitiesand quizzesthat are updatedfrequently.Informationis availablein Spanishor
Englishand is reviewedby a panelof expefts.
www.itsvoursexl
ife.com
The website'sprimarypurposeis to providereliable,objectivesexualhealthinformation
to youngadults. Thereis alsoa sectionspecifically
targetedto parents.Contentis
reviewedby a panelof outsideexpeftsand is fundedby The HenryKaiserFamily
Foundation.
Informationis availablein English,Spanish,Frenchand Arabic.
www,sxetc.org
Thiswebsiteis directedby teensfor teens.It containsarticlescontainingfactual
rnformationwritten by teens,quizzesand other interactivefeatures.The site is
sponsoredby RutgersUniversity,Networkfor FamilyLife Education.There is also a free
downloadable
monthlynewsletterfor teens.
www.gURL.com
Thiswebsiteis an on-linecommunityand contentsite for teenagegirls.It contains
stories,gamesand interactivecontenton a broadrangeof topicsthat appealto girls.
www.kidsgrowth,com
and www.teengrowth.com
Theserelatedwebsiteswere established
and are maintainedby a team of pediatricians
to providefactualhealthinformationto teenagers.The site usesan attractiveformat,
but the contentis presentedin a more formal mannerthan someother sites,

157,)
'.*_-,i

INDEXfor the
Read-TogetherBook
AIDS49
Anus30
Babies12, 51
Birthcontrol47, 50
Booklist 56
Breastst4,28, 45
Breastmilk 45
Cervix43
Childbirth
43,44
Chromosomes
46
Circumcision
23
Clitoris29
Condoms47, 48, 50
Ejaculation
24,25,26
Erection24,25
Fallopian
31, 41
Fetus4L, 42,43
Feelings16
Foreskin23
Friends18
Glans23
Heredity46
Hormones20
HIV 49
Hymen30

Normal15
Orgasm24, 38
OuterLips29
Ovaries20
Ovum31
Period(seeMenstruation)
Pil 47
P e n i1
s 5 ,2 2 , 2 3 , 2 4 , 2 5
Pituitary21
Pregnancy
32,38, 40,42
Puberty13, t4, 20, 23, 27, 31, 36, 47
Pubertypuzzle54
Rubbers(seeCondoms)
Safersex 50
Scrotum22
Semen23
Sexualintercourse(seeIntercourse)
Sperm23,32,46
STDS39, 49
Tampons33, 34
Testes(seeTesticles)
Testicles
21, 23
Toxicshocksyndrome(TSS)34

Intercourse12, 37, 39, 47, 48, 5t

U t e r u s3 1 ,4 2 , 4 3 , 4 7
Umbilicalcord42, 43
Urethra22, 30
Vagina30, 33, 36, 38
Vulva28, 30

Masturbation
26,30
Menstruation
31, 32, 33, 35

Websites57
Wetdreams25

BLANK PAGE

r-l

lJl

PlannedParenthood'

MarMonte

A C,uidefor Parents
and Other Trusted Adults
for

Let'sTalkAboutS-E-X

6l

about using this book

Thisguidebookis writtenfor parents,

andothertrustedadultswho
guardians
carefor children- theirownor thoseplacedin theircare.Thewords"son"
and"daughter"
werechosento reflecta trustedrelationship
andnot to inrply
Theinformation
in thisbookcanhelpyou
a biological
connection.
contained
andyoursonor daughter
talkmorecomfortably
aboutsex.Thispartis foryou.
in the
It will helpyouEetreadyto talkwithyourchildaboutthe inlormation
first
is
foryour
restof thebook.The
pre-adolescent
girl or
partol thisbook
up.
boyto readanddiscuss
withyou.lt giveslactualinformation
aboutgrowinE
Perhaps
moreimportant,
it alsoincludes
interactive
wayswhichwill helpyou
needto understandyour
values,
discussyour
familyvalues
andbeliefs.
Children
whatyoubelieve.
Sharing
together
the
andyouarethebestpersonto explain
asyour
information
herecanopenthe door to morehonestcommunication
children
entertheirteenageyears.

62

PARENT'SGUIDtr

\\THY PARE,NTSAND YOUTH NEED TO TALK

Ouryouthlearnaboutsexeveryday.Television,
bathroom
walls,
jokes,andpopularmusicall givethemmessages
:.oards,
playground
about
- ' Unlortunately,
mostof thesemessaEes
arenotveryhelpful.Theyusuallydon't
-':ainbasicfacts.Theyalmostnevershowtheresponsibilities
thatgo alongwith
,,, andmayleadchildren
to thinkthatsexis a carelree
Eame.
Sometimes
schoolproErams
canhelp.A fewschoolsdo offer
,nrprehensive
sexuality
education
courses.
TheseproErams
notonlyprovide
"portantfactualinformation;
theyalsohelpstudents
learnto understand
':enrselves
andmakeresponsible
decisions.
Mostschools,
though,provide
only
.',oor threelectures
thatcoversomebasicfactsaboutreproduction
andsexual!y
. .rnsmitted
questions
diseases.
Whilethisinformation
is valuable,
marystudents'
-enrainunanswered.
Evenifyourchildis luc$ enoughto havea goodschoolsex
':ducation
nothing
proEram,
canreplace
thekindof teaching
canoffer.As
parents
-:parentyou
cangiveyourchildinformation
in a personal
wayandat thetimesthat
:est meethisor herneeds.
And no schoolproEram
canteachyour
familyvalues,
:heparticular
beliefsthatyouwantto passalongtoyourchild.
Ol course,childrenhavealreadylearneda greatdealfromtheireveryday
erperiences
aspartof theirfamilyandcommunity.
Fromthewaytheyarefed,held
andcomforted
as infants,theylearnaboutcloseness
andplysicalaffection.
From
relationships
withfamilyandfriends,
theylearnaboutcaringandresponsibility.
Fromtheirparent's
wayof handling
theirsquabbles
withothers,theylearnabout
sharing
andconsideration.
Fromlistening
to thewayparents
talkwitheachother

63

PARENT'S
GUIDE.

andotherlami[ymembers,
childrenlearnaboutlove,communication,
andgetting
alongin a closerelationship.
All theseexperiences,
andnranyothers,
will influence
theirattitudes,
feelings,
nowandin thefuture.
andbehavior,
Eventhoughso muchlearning
takesplacewithoutwords,it is still
important
for families
to talkaboutsex.A childwhohascorrectinformation
anda
clearsenseof lamilyvaluesis morelikelyto makecareful
need
decisions.
Parents
to
showthattheyarewillingto talk,ratherthanwaitingfor theirchildren
to cometo
thenrwith questions.
Avoidingthesubjectmaysuggest
thatsexis too difficult,too
- or perhaps
embarrassinE
too dirtyto be talkedabout.Thismakes
it evenharder
for childrento askfor the information
theyneed.Theymaybe leftwith onlythe
hodgepodge
of ideastheypickup outsidethe family.

A GOOD TIME TO TALK

A verygoodtimeto buildfamilycommunication
aboutsexis whenyour
childis between
9 and12years
old.At thisagemostchildren
in
areveryinterested
tryingto understand
howeverything
works,including
theirownbodies.Despitea
commonexterior
of embarrassment,
in.
sexis a topicchildren
areVERYinterested
Theyoftentry to figureout sexandreproduction
in thesamematter-ol-fact
waythey
mighttry to understand
howan automobile
engineworks.
As theirownbodies,or theirfriends'
bodies,beginchanging,
preteens
become
veryinterested
in whatis normal.Sincesomebeginto develop
earlyand
otherslagbehind,manyyounEsters
areveryconcerned
aboutbeingdifferentfrom
theirfriends.
Talking
withparents
canhelpto reassure
themthatthesedifferences
arecomplete[y
normal.

Thisis alsoan excellent

timefor parents
to begindiscussing
theirvalues
"dirty
jokes,"
:rndbeliefsaboutissues
suchasdatingrules,
sexbelorentarriage,
etc.
Fcu'preteens
arereadyto carryon longdiscussions
on suchtopics.Buttheyare
ikelyto remember
whatyousayifyou keepyourrenrarks
sinrple,
specific,
anddo
notinsistthattheyimmediately
atree.
Asyoungsters
beconre
teenagers,
talkingaboutsexusual!y
becomes
a
nroredifficulttopicto discuss
withparents.
lt is normalfor teenagers
to wantnrore
rndependence
andsomedistance
fromtheirownfamilies.
Theyneeda reasonable
anrount
of privacy
andtrust.Also,astheirsexual
feelings
beconre
stronger,
they
nraybe lessableto discuss
sexin thestraightforwardway
of thepre-adolescent.
Butifyou havealready
honestly
established
a patternof
talkingaboutsex-related
t o p i c si,t i s n t o r el i k e l yt h a t y o uw i l lb e a b l et o c o n t i n uteh i sc o n r n r u n i c a t ihorno u g h
adolescence.

\OUR

O\\'N DISCO\,,IFORT

A l l p a r e n tfse e la t l e a sat l i t t l eu n c o n r f o r t atbal lek i n g

t o t h e i rc h i l d r e n
aboutsex.Maybeyour
nevertalkedwithyouaboutsex,soyoufeelunsure
parents
aboutwhatto say.Maybeyou
areworriedthatyoudon'tknowtheanswers
to all the
questions
thatnrightcomeup.Nobodydoes.Feeling
uncomlortable
doesn'thave
to stopyoulromtalking.
Thismayevenbe anopportunity
foryouandyourchildren
to findtheanswers
together.
Therearesomethingsyoucando to helpfeelmoreat
ease,though.
First,review
theinlormation
contained
in thisbook.Thinkaboutwhat
s .a y b e y ow
y o uw i l ls a y w h e n y o u
r i l da s k s y o qu u e s t i o nM
ch
u i l lw a n t o d i s c u s s

65

PARENT'S
GUIDE

aheadof timewithyourspouse,
partner,
a closefriend,a relative
or
your answers
a healthprofessional.
Ifyouwantto readmoreaboutcertaintopics,you
couldtry
listedat thebackof thisbook.
someof thereadings
someol thewordsin thisbook,wordslike"penis"
fusttheideaof saying
maymakeyou
or "vagina"
feeluncomfortable.
Youmightwantto practice
saying
front
themtoyourself,
in
of
a
nrirror,
beforeyou
try
talking
withyour
child.
possib!y
Youmayfeela littlesillyat first,butwithpractice
thisfeelingwill wearoff. lfyou
do feelembarrassed
whenyoutry to talk,)oucanadmitthishonestly
toyourson
or daughter.
Almosteveryone
feelsthatsexis a special,
Admitting
private
subject.
will probably
helpyoubothfeelmorecomfortable.
your owndiscomfort
Youmayalsowantto do an informalreviewof the languaEeyou
use.
Children
payattention
to thewordstheirparents
useandimitatethosewords,
evenwhentheydo not lullyunderstand
them.Usingwordsthatarehurtfulor
disrespectful
suchas"fag,"or "bitch"or otherharassingwords
will be confusing
to
children
because
thesewordsaredisrespectful
anddamaging
to others.Sexis about
respect
andcaring,not harassment,
coercion
or makingothersfeelbad.
Finally,you
don'thaveto do thisall alone.Youcancertainly
includeyour
spouse
or another
trustedadult.Therewill be timeswhenbothadultstogether
canbe involved
in talking,
or eachcantalkto thechildseparate!y.
Evenhaving
conversations
r,vith
anoldersiblingpresent
canexpand
thescopeofyourdiscussion
withayounger
child.
Maryparents
wonderif it is okayfor a motherto talkwithhersonabout
sexor for a fatherto talkwithhisdaughter.
Theanswer
is YES.In fact,sometimes
talkingwitha parentof theopposite
Mostpre-teenaEers
sexhasspecial
advantages.

PARENT'S
GUIDE

.ird earl)teenagers
in howotherpeopleseethenr,especially
arcveryinterested
:eopleof theothersex.Theopposite-sex
For
parentcangivethisviewpoint.
.'ranrple,
a mothercanhelphersonunderstand
howwomenthinkandfeelabout
'ren.Shecanhelphimto understand
After
andrespect
andfeelings.
girls'thoughts
rll, shewasoncea girl herselfl
Mothersareusualb/
morelvillingthanfathers
to discuss
sexwitheither
bo-ys
orgirls,butfathers
alsohavea lot to offerchildren
Encourage
of bothsexes.
a f a t h e rp
' sa r t i c i p a t i bo yns h a r i ntgh i sb o o k w i t hh i ma sw e l l .S t i l l ,i t i s a p a r e n t ' s
nillingness
to talkandto listenwhichis muchmoreimportant
thanwhichparent
happens
to be talkingaboutsex.

HO\{ N,{UCHDOE,SYOUR CHILD NEED TO KNO\V?

Likemostotherparents,you
maywonderwhattopicsyouneedto discuss
lvithyourpreteen.
Thefollowing
checklist
includes
thebasictopicsthatall
children,
bothboysandgirls,needto knowaboutin orderto understand
the
changes
ol puber{y.
Theseareexplained
in detailin thisbook.
It is noteasyfor mostparents
to talkaboutsex.Butdiscussing
thesetopics
frankly
at therighttimescanhelpyourchildto Erowup withmoreconfidence
andlessworryaboutnormalfeelings.
Yourr,villingness
to talkopenlyaboutthese
will makeit easierforyourchildto cometoyou astheteenyears
subiects
bring
newinterests
andconcerns.

67

MALE& FEMALE
BODIES
Male
sexual
andreproductive
ortans,internalandexternal
_
sexualandreproductive
orEans,
internalandexternal
_ Female
of puberly,maleandfemale
_ Plysicalchanges
relateto reproduction
_ Howthesechanges
That
these
changes
bring
aboutnewfeelingsandemotions
_
_ Thatpeoplematureat differentrates
MENSTRUATION
_ Whatit is
_ Whenit occurs
_ Thatit is normal
_ Howto be prepared
ERECTIONS
& WETDREAMS
_ Whattheyare
- Thattheyarenormal
MASTURBAIION
_ Whatit is
_ Thatit is not harmful
_ Thatit is normalto do it-or not to do it
_ Yourfamilysfeelingsaboutit
SEXUALINTERCOURSE
_ Whatit is
_ Howit is relatedto pregnancy
to love,marriage,
birthcontrol,etc.
- YourbeliefsabouthbwTtrelStes
RISKS
transmitted
diseases
_ Sexually
- Uninteirdedpregnancy
Hurtfeelinsi
problems
_ Relationship

':

.:::.:::i::::!ii::il:;n
' ' '' in: i:r;:E::-]::.3.-jli
:
:; ,ii:..: :&-:-+:,:ni

l*:

PARENT'SGUIDE

in this
inportant,
whicharenot included
Are thereotherthingsYOUconsider
Thespaces
belowareleft
--"list,butwhichyouwantto be sureyourchildunderstands?
truto addthesetopics.Makenoteshereaboutothertopicsyouwantto bringup.

iiUILDING SELF-ESTEEM
is probably
themost
Helpingyour
childfeelgoodabouthimor herself
'rportantinlluence
As theybecome
sexual
development.
onyourchildren's
.renaEersyour
decisions.
children
will be facedwithmanydiflicultandinrportant
People
them
whofeelgoodaboutthemselves
arelesslikelyto let otherspressure
look
ntomakingunwise
choices,
anddon'tneedto useothersto makethemselves
qoodor feelgood.Theyaremorelikelyto makeresponsible
aboutsex,
decisions
:indaboutmanyotherthingsaswell.Herearesomethingsyoucando to helpyour
children
feelgoodaboutthemselves.
Let thern know that you appreciate thern.
Recognize
personality,
looks,accomplishments
andanything
theirtalents,
their
elseyoucanthinkof.Avoidcomparing
themwithothers.Helpthenrdiscover
olvnspecialstrengths.
Treat thern with respect.
Thinkabout
Ask for theiropinions.
Listento theirideasandfeelings.

69

PARENT'S
GUIDE

whattheysaytoyou.Don'tcutthemoff,evenwhenyoudisagree
withwhatthey
aresaying,
hardasthatcanbe.Hearthemout.Theirsel[-respect
beginswiththe
respectandconsideration
theyreceive
fromyouandothers.
Teach thern to set proper boundaries.
Teachyour
children
thatthereis "goodtouch"and"badtouch."Helpyour
children
learnthattheyhavetherightto choose
whotouches
theirbodies.They
cantell otherchildren
andadultsthattheydo notwantto be touched
andthey
shouldexpectthatotherswouldrespect
theirwishes.
Encourage
themto talkwith
you if theyfeelthatsomeone
hastouched
theminappropriate[y
or madethemfeel
uncomfortable.
Helpgirls,especial!y,
understand
thattheirfacialexpression
and
bodylanguage
needto matchthewords"no,""don't,"or "stopthat."lf onegiggles
or laughs,onesendsa messaEe
thattheyarenot reallyserious.Youcannot saya
"NO"
real
witha smileor a giggle.
Don't expect too rnuch or too little.
Manyyoungsters
leelinsulted
because
theythinktheirparents
treatthem
Iikekids.Othersgetdiscouraged
because
leel
they
theirparentsexpectmorethan
theycando. lt is important
to let themknowthatyouhaveconfidence
in them.You
cansupportthemwithoutpushing.
Youcanprotectthenrwithoutkeeping
themlronr
newexperiences.
Avoid too rnuch criticisrn.
Preteens
andteensareextremely
sensitive
to criticism.
lf theyheartoo maryr
negatives
theymayjuststoplistening.
ihey oftendo wantto hearparents'opinions,
whenexpressed
tactfully
love.
andwith
And whenyourchildren
failat something
or
makea mistake,
let thenrknowthatit is nottheendof theworld.

70

PARENT'SGUIDE

i -IS'I'E\I\G

IS I}IPORTA\T

To TALKtoyourchildrenin a waythatwill reallyhelp,youhaveto also

LISTEN
to theirwords,andto thefeelings
behindtheirwords.Youmusttry to see
ihingsthroughtheireyes.lf theyfeelthatyouunderstand
thenr,theyarenrorelikely
t o t a l ko p e n l y w i t h y oO
u .n eo l t h e b e s t w a yt so s e et h e w o r l dt h r o u g h y o uc rh i l d ' s
yourself
c'yes
is to try to renrember
at thesameage.
Spenda fewnrinutes
thinkingaboutthesequestions:
. Whendidyounoticeyour
bodystarting
to change,
andhowdidyou
feelaboutit?
. Whatideasdidyouhavethatweremistaken?
. Whatdidyourparents
tellyouaboutsex?
. At whataEe?
o Whatdid theysaythatwashelpful?
Whatwasnot helpful?
. Whatdoyouwishtheyhadsaidor doneto helpyouunderstandyourself
andothers?
. Whatdoyouwantto do in thesanre
waywithyourchildren?
o Whatdoyouwantto do differently?
S o m eo l t h e t h i n g so u rc h i l d r egno t h r o u gw
h i l lb e s i m i l atro t h i n g s y o u
experienced
whenyouwereyounE.
Otherswill not be.It mayhelpto relatea few
"l know
storiesofyourownexperiences.
Thedangeris in goingtoo far,saying
exactly
whatyou're
goingthrough"
abouteverythint.
Youngpeoplearequickly
turnedoflby thisapproach.
Careful
listening
alsonrakes
it easierforyou,because
you will havea betterideaaboutexactlywhatyour
childneedsto know.Before

7l

it mayhelpto askyourchildwhatheor shethinks

answerint
a difficultquestion,
is.Thereplymaytellyouwhatyouneedto saynext.
theanswer
.te.x.)"
Forexanrple,
mightask'."Dad, u,lrydopeopkhaL'e
a pre-adolescent
"sex?"
Making
Kissing?
out?Sexual
Whatdoesthatchildmeanwhenshesays
intercourse?
And evenafteryoufindoutwhatshenreans
by "sex,"thereis more
Probably
this
thanoneanswer
because
peoplehavesexfor a numberof reasons.
question.
heardor sawsomething
thattriggered
the
preteen
specific
Youmightsay:
"Therecanbe different
reasons.
Wfy doyouthinkpeoplehavesex?"
lmt'eseru,hen
.. (siknce)..
.u:eLl...Su<anne
saidpeople
"I don'tknout.
thqtlot'eeachotlter"
" W h a dt o y o us u p p o sseh em e a n s . . . ' h a vsi negx ' ? "
guesskissinq
andstuff,"
"I don'tknou;...1
" Y e a h. ..a r y t h i negl s e ? "
I thirtk."
saidsonrcthing
like...'inner'
...u/t...'innercour.re,'
"Irbll...she
"Shewasprobably
talkingaboutsexualintercourse-"
'1'7ah,
that's
it..."
'making
"Wesometimes
love.'That'sbecause
whena mananda
callit
They
womanloveeachother,theyliketo getasclosetogether
as possible.
maydecideto havesexualintercourse.
Thenran's
penisfitsinsidethe
woman's
vagina,
and-"
"Oh,tuck...u;hyu,rntldtheruant to rJothat.)"
"lt maysoundstrangetoyou now,but at the righttime it canbe a really
Youwill
nicewayof showing
love,andit feelsgoodto bothpeople.
understand
thosefeelings
betterwhenyou're
older."

PARtrNT'SGUIDE

"Hou olddoyu lmueto l:e?"

"Well,peoplehavedifferent
ideason that.YourmomandI believe
married.
Foronething,whenpeople
it'sbestto waituntilyou're
haveintercourse,
thewomancouldgetpregnant..."
thisfatherwasableto talkwith his
Bygentlyaskinga fewquestions,
daughter
aboutthethingsshereallywantedto know.A hasty,preaclyanswermight
havecutolf theconversation.
He showed
thathewaswillingto talkandlisten,so
hisdaughter
askedmorequestions.
in onesitting.And somethingswill probably
All thingscannotbe covered
needto be broughtup morethanonceandyoumightlindthesameconversation
mayevenget repeated.
Thereis no needto sit downandhavea BIC SERIOUS
thatare
IALK. Thebestwayto talkaboutsexis in theeveryday
conversations
thatsparksuch
of opportunities
a natural
partolfamilylife.Takeadvantage
conversations.

tr\CTS AND \ALUE,S

Yourchildneedsto knowboththefactsaboutsexandyourfamilyvalues.
whetherwe likethemor not.Values
Factsarelacts.Theyarethesamefor everyone,
rvhat
for different
people.Our decisions
aboutwhatwe likeor dislike,
aredifferent
values
aswellasour lamily's
weapprove
arebasedon our individual
or disapprove,
lot
Forinstance,
it is a factthata
ol unmarried
peoplearehaving
culturalheritage.
But it is
to ourvalues.
sexthesedays.We mayor maynotthinkit'sright,according
stilla fact.

/J

PARENT'S
GUIDE

Preteens
will soonbe facingimportant
decisions
aboutsex.To handle
factsandvalue
thesewell,
thediflerence
between
theyneedto be ableto recognize
judgments.
Thebestwaywe canhelpthemis by makingthisdifference
clearin the
thingswe sayeveryday.
Forpractice,
is a value
try deciding
whether
eachof thesestatements
(Hint:
statement
or a statement
of fact.
ualuestatements
ofieninclude
oneof these
words
good,bad,ight, wrong)
should,ought,
",Bf,l: timetheyar,e12,.girls
in beingprettyand
shouldgetmoreinterested
laoyilKe. (|',at
u(Judgnt(nt )

"Bythetimetheyare12,a lot of girlsgetmoreinterested

in beingpretty
andladylike
l' (fact)
"l
datingby thetimehe is lZ mustbeweird."
qrywhohasnotstarted
(uaLueludgment)
"Mostpeoplemasturbate
at sometimeduringtheirlives."fact)
"Ngruqdays,
nlanypeoplethinkit'sokayto haveintercourse
before
marilaEe.ffa(t)
"lt's.okay
to havesexbeforemarriage,
if bothpeopleknowwhattheyare
doing." (r'nIuej udgmen
I)
"Whenit comesto premature
sex,it is worsefor girlsto do it thanfor
" (t,aluejudgmen
t)
Euys.

(tr|/htleit's afact that onLygirlsgetpregnant,tlrcLulrd "utlse" addsa.judgment.)

"Manygirlswhohavea babywhilein highschoolnevergeta diploma."

(lact)

74

PARE,NT'SGUIDE

quESTroNS,qUESTTONS
Preteens
probably
will notaskdirectquestions
aboutvalues.
Stilltheymay
"fanie
nrention
thingsthatgiveyoua chance
to discussyour
views.Forinstance,
sayswhenyou're
13you're
old enoughto go steady."
Hereisyouropportunity
to say
r'vhatyou
believe
aboutdating,andwhyyoubelieve
it. Yourchildmayor maynot
agreewithwhatyousayrightthen.But ifyou cansayit respectlullyyou
will keep
thedooropenfor continued
communication
on thissubiect.
Preteens
areverycuriousabouttheirbodiesandhowtheywork.Theydo
not always
feelfreeto askquestions,
however.
Whethertheyaskor not,hereare
someof thethingstheyoltenwantto know:
Whenwill I develop
likemylriends?
Wty do kidssaydirlywords?
Wly do babieslookliketheirparents?
Whatcauses
twins?Sianrese
twins?
Wty do somebabies
turnout to be boysandothers,
girls?
Whathappens
to thespermcellsthatdon'tfertilizetheegg?
Whatabouttheeggsthatdon'tgetfertilizedT
Howdoesababystayaliveinsidethe mother?
Whyaresomechildren
adopted?
Wly can'tmenhavebabiesT
What'sanabortionT
Whatdoes"making
it," (or "getting
down,"etc.)nreanT
Whatis oralsexTls oralsex,sex?
Whatis a wetdreamT
Do girlshavethenr?
"masturbation"
Whatdoes
mean?
What'sa condomfor?

75

PARENT'S
GUIDE

Whatis a homosexual?
W h a ta r em e n ' s ' b a l lfso'r 7
AIDS, or herpesT
diseases),
tranntitted
WhatareSTDs(sexually
Howdoyoucatchit?
D o e sm e n s t r u a t i(oonre i a c u l a t i oi n ,t e r c o u r soer ,c h i l d b i r t hh)u r t ?
Do boyshaveperiods?
in thesetopics.Of
normalfor a preteen
to be interested
It is perfectly
to all of theirchild's
not
know
the
answers
find
that
they
do
sonreparents
course,
may
questions.
in thelrontpartof thisbook.Forothersyou
Manyareanswered
in additional
booksor theInternet.We recomntend
wishto getmoreinformation
to keepat home.Thisgivesthemessage
bookon sexuality
havinga goodreference
andthathomeis a placewhere
thatyouwantyourchildto gettherightinformation,
questions
withand
lt shouldbe a resourceyou
arecomfortable
canbe answered.
to.
withyourchildhavingaccess
oneyouwill be comlortable

SE,XUAL FEELINGS
- especially
that
admitting
worrythattalkingaboutsexuality
Someparents
-will encourage
children
to experintent
hassexual
feelings
astheynrature
everyone
feelings
for what
sexual
In fact,recognizing
withsextoo early.Quitethecontrary!
"swept
heatof
in
the
resist
being
away"
theyarecanhelpyoursoon-to-be-teenager
in advance,
so theycantell thedifference
Preteens
needto be prepared
passion.
feelings,
andfallingin love.It is mucheasierto start
between
sexual
peerpressure,
oladolescence
beforethemoodsandconflicts
thesetopicsat thisstage,
discussing
begin.

/o

GUIDE
PARtrNT'S

tellingthem
In today's
worldyoung
peoplealready
getplentyof messages
r,vhy
it is
Thatis exactly
thatsexfeelsgood,or thatit will nrakethenrfeelErown-up.
whoarewillingto discuss
thepowerof sexual
so important
thattheyhaveparents
feelings
andthedifference
between
feelinganddoing.
thatis appropriate
with
Sexual
orientation
is another
areaol discussion
indicate
I in l0youthshavea sexual
preteens.
Statistics
thatapproximately
mostbelieve
preference
for oneof theirowngender.Today
thisis a predetermined
it
in
andteenageyears.
partof a person's
sexuality
andthat doessurface preteen
with
Thereseems
heterosexual
andhomosexual
to be a broadcontinuum
between
maryof us fallingin various
encourages
us to
places
alongthatline.Oursociety
theorientation
of nrost.Youcanstillexplain
be heterosexuals
andthatis certainly
feelings
of attraction
towards
someone
of theirown
toyourchildthatoccasional
Youngteensneedto understand
genderdoesnot nreantheyarcEaJor homosexual.
(including
whatsexual
means,
thatwhichis
orientation
theappropriate
ternrinology
differences
anronE
theirpeers.
disrespectful)
andlearnto be tolerant
of individual
HAZARDS AND RISKS
risks,such
wouldnot be complete
withoutdiscussing
Sexuality
education
(including
AIDS),unintended
preEnancy,
aswellas
assexually
transmitted
diseases
Thisbookbeginstheprocess
theemotional
upsets
thatcanoccurin relationships.
by introducing
thebasicfactsfor pre-adolescents.
It is intended
to be a startlor
furtherlearning.
risksof a
Youngpeoplealsoneedto knowthatsexraises
theenrotional
"casual,"
it
relationship.
fewadolescents
Whilesexis oftenportrayed
as
experience

a7

PARENT'S
GUIDE.

thisway.Addingsexto an immature
relationship
increases
theriskof feelinghurt,
jealous,
smothered,
or used.Thesepainfulfeelings
areoftencarriedoverintofuture
relationships
andaffectthoserelationships
negative[y.
Asyoudiscuss
theseriskswithyourpreteen
or teenager,
aimto keep
a sense
oibalance.
All too often,sexuality
education
hasbeena lessonin the
"terrible
thingsthatcanhappen
toyou ilyou do it." Beingableto talkaboutthe
positive
aswellasthenegative
aspects
of sexualitywill
makeyou
a nrorecredible,
"ask-able"
For
parent. pre-adolescents,
is thattheycanprevent
a keymessage
serious
problems
by makingsensible
decisions,
andeventually
growup to enjoy
healthy,
satislingsexual
lives.
Theyounger
teensarewhentheyfirsthavesex,themoresexual
partners
theywill have.Havingmultiplesexual
partners
withoutprotection
exposes
an
individual
to moreriskof STDsandunintended
preEnancy
andfatherhood.

COMMON

SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED

DISL{SES (STDs)

Sexually
transmitted
maybe oneof themostoverlooked
diseases
health
problems
in America.
Thecauseof STDsmaybe a virus,a parasite
or bacteria,
depending
on theindividual
infection.
MostSTDsoccurduringtheagerangeof
teensthrough20s,mainlybecause
thisageEroupis morelikelyto havemultiple
sexual
partners,
havesexwithsomeone
whohashadmultiplesexual
partners,
or
engaged
in unprotected
sex.

78

PARENT'S
GUIDE

Adolescents
needto knowaboutthespecific
sexual
activities
thatcan
(in additionto knowing
transmit
theseinfections
thesecanbe transmitted
by
sharing
needles
to shootdrugs).Theseinclude
vaginal,
oralandanalsex.These
lormsof sexualactivityarefair[yconrmon
amonEadolescents
but oftenareignored
bywellmeaning
parents
whofeeluncomfortable
it is
discussing
them.Today,
common
amonE
a largesegment
of teensto engage
in oralsexandbelieve
thatit is
perfectly
safebecause
thereis no riskof pregnancy.
However,
therelS a significant
risklor sexually
transmitted
diseases
duringoralsex(forbothpartners)
andANY
unprotected
acts.Keepin mindthatthewaysSTDsaretransmitted
diff,ersomewhat
fromonedisease
to thenext.Forinstance,
wartsandherpes
genital
canbe
transmitted
by genitalcontact
withan infected
person,
withor withoutintercourse.
It is important
for adolescents
know
to
aboutSTDsandhowto protectthemselves.
ANY personwhoengages
in unprotected
sexmaycontracta STD.Even
thoughstatistics
mayindicate
rate
thatthe
of sexual
activity
amonE
teensis
declining,
therateof sexually
transmitted
diseases
remains
high.I in 4 teenswill
contract
a STD.It is alsoimportant
for kidsto knowthatmaryindividuals
who
havea STD nraynot showanysymptoms
andmaynot evenbe awarethattheyhave
contracted
one.Goingto a doctoror clinicis howyoudiagnose
a STD.
It is criticalfor parents
to educate
themselves
aboutsexually
transmitted
diseases.
Somecommon
STDsin theUnitedStates
include:
. C e n i t aHl I V( H u m a pn a p i l l o m a v i r uos T
) richomoniasis
. Chlamydia
o External
CenitalWarts
. GenitalHerpes
. Gonorrhea
r HIV/AIDS
'SYPhilis

79

PARENT'S
GUIDE

(such
infornration
whatcanhappenif untreated
Specific
aboutsymptonrs,
lromyour
as infertility)
andhowthediseases
aretransmitted
canbe obtained
Parenthood
or on websites
listedon page88. lt
doctor,clinic,yourlocalPlanned
is important
lt is inrportant
and
to knowthatall STDshavetreatments.
to dias.nose
EARLY
healthproblenrs
treatanvinfection
so thatfurtheror moreserious
thatmav
for lile mavbe avoided.
affectan individual

HO\\I STDS (AND PRE,C}NANCT ARE PREVENTED

-"abstinence"- is a strongstart.Youngpeople
Thesinrple
answer
needadultsupportandsoundreasons
for abstaining
fromsexual
certainly
activities
Thefrontsection
of thisbookopensthedoorfor talkingaboutthesematters.
Eventually,
though,nearlyeveryone
hasa sexual
relationship
andmustdeal
withtheserisks.Formany,sexual
experimentation
beginsin theearlyteenyears.
Althoughyour
pre-adolescent
mayseenryounE
lor a discussion
of salersex,the
information
is moreeasilyandeffectively
conveyed
aheadof time- belorethere
is a specific
indicate
thatI outof 5 teenshavehad
partnerin thepicture.
Statistics
sexby theageof 15.Yourdiscussion
ol prevention
shouldincludea description
of
howto obtainandusecondonrs,
contraceptives,
spernricides,
or otherfornrsof
prevention
or protection.
to I00%effective
at preventingHlV/
Studies
shorry
thatcondoms
are98%o
AIDSandsubstantially
decrease
theriskof inlection
withotherSTDs.

80

PARENT'S
GUIDE

Someparents
worrythatthisinformation
nrayencourage
sexual
activity.
"We've
Holever,an earlyadolescent
messaEe:
caneasilyunderstand
a two-tiered
talkedaboutsomeof thereasons
wfgrit'sbettertowaitto havesex.But lwant
for
evenif_youdon'tusethe infornration
-\,outo knowhowto protectyourself,
quitea while."Unfortunately,
usingabstinence
astheonlylessonhasprovento be
ineffective.

THE DITE,RNET
- is nowavailable
A wholenewworld- bothhelpfulanddangerous
to
online.Explore
children
parental
controls
andfiltersthatnraybe available
toyou
Letyourchildren
wholiketo take
andyourcomputer.
knowthattherearepredators
advantage
ofyouthonline.Preteens
shouldnot respond
to peopletheydon'tknow.
Keeping
computers
thatchildren
access
in a lami!yroom(versus
theirbedrooms)
will helpyoumanaEe
howyourchildusesthecomputer.
Sexual
innuendo
email
names
areto be avoided
for kids.fustasyouteachchildren
howto safelyrespond
to a phonecall,let themknowthatpersonal
information
with
shouldnotbe shared
anyonetheydon'tknowby emailor evenat a website.

KE,E,PINGTHE DISCUSSION ONGOING

Thereareseveral
reasons
to continueyour
discussion
of these
parent-child
issues
intotheteenageyears.
First,moredetailed
information
will be appropriate
foryourmaturing
teenager,
afterheor shelearnsthebasics.
Whattheydon'tlearn
fromtrustedadults,theywilllearnlromtheirpeersandoftenwhattheylearnfronr

8l

And,
information
is morelikelyto be retained.
peersis wront.Second,repeated
"current"
is continually
changing,
asnewmedicalfindings,
finally,
information
from
andvideos,available
Up-to-date
pamphlets
tests,andtreatments
appear.
organization,
canbe
or localPlannedParenthood
your countyhealthdepartment
(See
reading
list
and
websites
at
the
valuable
in covering
thesetopics.
especially
teensarefamiliarwith the
Youneedto be sureyouryounE
theendof thissection.)
risksthatcanaffectthe restof theirlives.
those
Onefinalnote.TwoEroupsofyoungpeoplemeritspecialattention:
who thinktheymaybe gayandthosewho havea familymemberinfectedby HIV.
beyondthescopeof this
supportandinformation,
Bothcanbenefitfromadditional
or supportEroups,checkwithyourlocalAIDS
book.To findout aboutcounseling
serviceorganization
or mentalhealtha1ency.

...ANDIF THEY DON'T ASK

openlyin families,manychildrenlearn
Because
sexis so rarelydiscussed
Whatdoyou do ifyour child
not to bringup thesubiectwith theirownparents.
doesnot ask?
Herearesomeideasthathaveworkedfor otherparents:
. Showthatit'sokayto talkaboutsexualissuesby talkingwithyourspouse
in the
teensor pre-teens
arearound.Include
or otheradultswhenthechildren
whenappropriate.
discussion
. Go to oneof the moviesyour
childrengo to, watchoneof theirTV
of sexand
shows,or listento theirmusic.Thiscanopenthedoorto discussions

PARENT'S
GUIDE

values.
Ifyoudisapprove
seeor hear,tellyourchildren
politely
of nressaEesyou
lvhatit is aboutthesemessages
thatyoudon'tlike.
r Conrnrent
noticea
events
in everyday
life.lf yourchildren
on sex-related
thatis
pregnant
friend,or showcuriosity
abouttanrpons
or otherpersonal
products,
a goodstarting
pointfor talkingaboutreproduction
or menstruation.

.\ F'E\\'THINGS

NOT TO DO

o Don'ttell them,"You're
notold enoughto knowaboutthat."This
comnrent
thatyouarenotwillingto discuss
this,andperhaps
givesthemessaEe
othersensitive
lltheyarealready
aboutary topic,thentheyneed
subjects.
thinking
correctinlormation
to theirage.
aboutit, in termsappropriate
. Whentalkingabouteveryday
things,don'tnrakecomnrents
thataretoo
harshor too general.
Toonranystatements
like"Lookat her- that'sdisgusting!"
canturnofl furtherdiscussion.
lt is betterto be lessnegative
andmorespecific:
"Sheis a prettywoman,
but I don'tthinktheErocery
storeis therightplaceto wear
a b i k i n i .T" h i st y p eo l s t a t e m etnetl l s y o ucr h i l d r em
n o r ea b o u t y o uvra l u e s .
o Don'tteasethemabouttheirchanging
bodiesandleelings,
anddon't
lamily
members
allowother
to teasethemeither.Suchteasing
onlyaddspainand
alienation
verysensitive.
at a timewhenmostyoungsters
arealready
o Don'tusetoo muchhumorwhenyoutalkaboutsex.Humor,at theright
L i n r ec,a nh e l pt o r e l i e veen r b a r r a s s n rBeuntti.f n r o sot f y o u rt a l ki s i n t h ef o r n r L l
jokes,your
children
nraygetthemessage
thatsexis nota subjectyou
arewillingto
talkaboutseriously.

83

PARENT'SGUIDE

\\.HEN NOT TO TALK ABOUT SEX

Yes,therearetimesto waitbeforehavingthesediscussions.
lt is better
notto talkwithyourchildaboutsexif suchconversations
seemtoo tenseand
unpleasant
foryourchild.
Do nottry to carryon a discussion:
. W h e ni n a p u b l i cp l a c eo r t h e i rf r i e n das r et h e r e .
. Whenyouarein thenriddleola fanrily
argunrent
or crisis.
. Whenyouareextremely
embarrassed,
or fearfulaboutsex.
disgusted,
Youmightneedto talkfirstto a closefriendor counselor
aboutyourfeelings.
. Whenyouareexperiencing
inyourmarriage
sexual
problems
andthere
is angerandconflictsurfacing
daily.Again,it maybe betterto waituntilyouhave
resolvedyour
ownproblems
beforetalkingwithyourchild.
. WhenyourchildSTRONGLY
refuses
to do so,or appears
extremely
nervous
or feelssick.Youcantry againlater.
Suchan extreme
reaction
couldpossibly
be a signthatyourchildhas
beensexually
lfyou
abused.
suspect
thatabusehasactually
occurred,
thewayyou
respond
cannrakea big difference.
Younrightgentlyassureyour
childthatit is
"don'ttellyour
safeto tellyouif anything
happened,
haswarned,
evenif someone
parents."(Indtcate
that_you
belieue
rulmt_yottr
clLildis sajng or at lcastlistenwithout
contrttentins
or negating
u'lmt-yotu
childis telling_ttou.)
Be as calmand matter-of-fact
aspossible.
Reassureyour
childthatyoustillloveheror hinrasmuchasbefore.
Finally,
finda goodcounselor
foryourchildto talkwith.(Yourlocalrapecounseling
qualified
centercansuggest
professionals.)

84

PAREI.{T,SGTIIDE

\\.HEN YOU \VANT TO THINK ABOUT YOUR ANSWE,R

Not everyquestionhasto be answered
immediately.
It is certainly
okayto
waitif, for instance,your
in
childasksabouttampons thegrocery
checkout
line.You
mightsay,"Let'stalkaboutthatwhenwegethome,"or "l'd Iiketo givethata little
thought."
Thenbe surethatyoudo followup withoutwaitingto be askedagain.

\VHAT DO YOU HOPE,TO ACCOMPLISH?

By usingthisbookyoucangivechildren
basiclactsaboutsexthatwill take
awayunnecessary
fearsandworries.By talkingtogether,
day-by-day,you
cangive
thema clearer
ideaolwhatyourfami!ybelieves.
Youmayenioya greater
feelingof
trustbecauseyour
children
will knowthatyouarewillingto talkaboutevendifficult
subjects.
Doyou expectthatyourchildren
will discuss
all theirsexual
concerns
withyou?lt probably
will not happen.
No matterhowgoodyourrelationship
is,
your teenagers
will probablychooseto keepsomethingsto themselves,
or maybe
sharethemonlywiththeirfriends.
Thatis a normalpartof growingup.But ifyou
haveshownthatyouarewillingto talk,andto listen,theyaremorelikelyto make
responsible
decisions,
andto askforyouradvice
whentheyreallyneedit.
In sexual
matters,
as in everything
else,your
children
will ultimately
haveto
maketheirowndecisions.
Naturallyyou
wantto helpthemavoidunwise
choices.
Youalsowantto helpthemunderstand
thatsexcanbe a veryimportant
and

85

PARE,I{T]SGUIDE

thattheyhavecorrectinformation,
satislingpartof theirlives.By makingsure
withyouare
a clearideaofyourbeliefs,
andplentyol chances
to communicate
givingthemthebestpossible
startin thisdirection.

B6

PARENT'SGUIDE

WEBSITES
FORPARENTS
Planned
Parenthood,/
Mar Monte
m r,v.ppmarnronte.orE
Planned
Parenthood
Federation
of America
wl,nv.
plannedparenthood.
org
(go to: for parents)
storeyahoo.com/ppfastore
AmericanSocialHealthAssociation
www.asha.std.org
SIECUS/Sexuality
Information
& Educational
Council
(goto: pareniinformation)
wr,r'w.siecus.org
PFLAG/Parents,
Families
& Friends
of Lesbians
andGays
w,r.tw.
pflag.org
Advocatesfor Youth
www.advoca
tesio1,out h.o rg
NationalCampaign
to Prevent
TeenPregnancy
http://wuw.teenpregnancy.
orglteen/
Centerfor Disease
Control
\ xr"w.coc.tov
Coalitionfor Positive
Sexualily
wrrut.
positive.org
CeneralReproductive
Information
www.sexhealth.org

8B

ADDITIONALBOOKSFORPARENTS
Asr:
ErcnvruncYouNnnnWameoYounKosro KNowAsourSx Brn WenrfunruoTnEv'o
ro Sunvrnruc
YounCnrns DnnlopuElnrRovtBnrnro TErrus
TneSrcnErs
by Dr. f. Richardson
and Dr. M. Schuster(Crown,2003)

Bm lrs NnnnTooLnre
Howro Truxro YounCHrLo
Anoln Sx lrs Besrro Srr,nrEaru-v
Eyre(St.Martins,
1999)
byLinda
andRichard
SexunllvHERlrnvCHtpneru
Fnona
Dnprnsro Dnrrnc:A PnmursGuroero Rnrsrr.rc
(Newmarket,
Hoffner
2004)
byDebra
KEvs
ro YounCHrlos HrnlrHvSsxunr-rv
(Barrons,
DeFreitas
1998)
byChrystal
Lrsruru
nxo LsreruSo KrosWru-Tnlx
HowTo TnLxSo KrosWrr-r(Avon,
Elaine
Mazlish
1999)
byAdeleFaber
Aeour SexnruoCrnnncreR
TrruTnlrs PnnrursMusr HnveWru TuernCHrr-oneN
(Hperion,
Schwartz
2000)
byPepper
SrnnrcnrPnRrrurs.
GnvCHtnnrru
(Thunders
Bernstein
MouthPress,
2003)
byRobert

Puhli.t:hed
hy Book Peddler.t

PERIOD.

A Girl's Guide
with a Parent's Guide
bvJoanne Loulan zrndBor-rnie\\orthcn
illtt:lrukd ln ,lIan'fu Qratknhush and (ltris Dt'rut!

. 7" x 7" ' 75 line drauings ' 59.99

100 q>ages
Tltis ltestselling.illustr:rtedbook about mcnstmatior-rhas bccn reviscd and Ltpdatcd
lbr this nen'generationo1-rcung \\'omeu.It u'ill be passcdon ltv the prcrious 2(X).000
book first pLrblishcd
\ronrcll u'ho canrethlough pubertv thanksto this grouncl]rrc:rking
in l1)79.
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Iicki Lan.tk-l.
u.mnuniralion."
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ftarentinuauthor

e$krinirrnu,lr,-all girlsarenorntaland
our it holi.;ti r
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9l

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