Professional Documents
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ATTACHMENT MODEL
The Making & Breaking of Affectionate Bonds.
INTRODUCTION
Bowlby,J ( 1979) in his work The Making and Breaking of Affectionate Bonds outlines
some of the main theories and concepts which inform the use of the Attachment Model.
This explores some theories of attachment which are relevant in general therapy,
bereavement issues and in family and relationship work. Bowlbys work was based
both on Ethological Theory ( the importance of biological and instinctive roots ) and on
research of orphaned children and their disposition to form attachments. His ideas
arise out of Object Relations Theory and deal with how we relate and get attached to
objects (often significant people) and the ways that we react to loss or separation.
This brief note will examine some of the concepts and ideas of the Attachment Model
and relate these to helping Individuals, families and particularly couples.
ATTACHMENT BEHAVIOUR
Bowlby maintains , as do others like ( Ainsworth,M 1965) , Rutter (1981) and Schaffer &
Emerson (1954) , that the seeking and maintaining of proximity to others is a normal
activity or impulse for all primates. This impulse may also apply to inanimate objects.
Consequently, we can define attachment behaviour as one that results in a person
attaining or maintaining closeness to some other individual who is conceived or
perceived as better able to cope with the world. This is further clarified by the following
characteristics of Attachment.
Characteristics of Attachment
of attachment:
Secure Base - The attachment figure(s) provides a secure base from which the child
can explore the surrounding environment
Maintain Proximity This is a desire to remain/maintain being near our Secure Base
we are attached to.
Safe Haven - This is the tendency/need to return to the attachment figure(s) for
comfort and safety in the face of any fear or threat.
Separation Distress - The absence of the Attachment Figure ( for children this is
normally a parent / caregiver) Anxiety occurs and in extreme cases can lead to
complications in later life with consequential problematic Attachment Styles.
The figure overleaf shows the above in further detail
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Maintain
Proximity
A
Secure
Base
Safe
Haven
ATTACHMENT
4 Characteristics
Separation
Distress
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SECURE
INSECURE
Secure Attachment:
Ideally, from the time infants are six months to two years of age, they form an emotional
attachment to an adult / caregiver (normally a parent) who is sensitive empathic,
responsive to their needs and mental states. It is vital that this attachment figure
remain a consistent caregiver and thereby provide the necessary Secure Base
During the second year, children begin to use the adult as a secure base from which to
explore the world and become more independent. A child in this type of relationship
thus has a Secure Base , trusts its caregiver, knows its needs will be met and therefore
develops the trait of Secure Attachment
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INSECURE
ORGANISED
DISORGANISED
Avoidant
Ambivalent
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Caregiver Style
Responsive & Consistent
Rejecting & Distant
Inconsistent & Intrusive
Frightening, Confusing & Fearful
APPLICATION TO RELATIONSHIPS
Attachment behaviour is at its most obvious in early childhood, but can be observed
throughout the life cycle and especially in crisis or emergencies. Some of its main
features are :
The above behaviours can be particularly significant and helpful when examining both
family dynamics , relationships between parents and children and the couple
relationship.
After separating from parents during adolescence, most people choose a new
attachment figure as an adult. In these relationships they attempt to balance the needs
of intimacy and independence, depending upon their previous experiences. Further
aspects will now be examined.
APPLICATION TO LOSS
If a close adult relationship ends, the grieving process is similar to the reaction of a
child who has lost its primary care giver. To some extent the same process is involved
with all lost objects e.g. job, health, teddy bear etc. If any of these losses are ignored, a
subsequent loss can be the stimulus for grieving for both losses and the person who is
mourning is very often unaware of the connection between the losses. Then what often
occurs is a process of grief
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EVENT
NORMAL LIFE
SHOCK
ACCEPTANCE
DENIAL
ANQUISH
ANGER
YEARNING
RESOLUTION
DEPRESSION
DESPAIR
NOTE
This 'process' can be applied to any loss and not just death.
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Delay/Denial
Avoidance
Suppression
Difficulty with endings and beginnings. ( Both in life and in Sessions with the
Helper)
Severe detachment from primary caregiver in early life ( death, separation etc)
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Model security in the whole process of the sessions and the therapeutic contract.
FINAL NOTE
Remember that there are often shared attachment problems within a close
relationship ( such as a couple or parent ; child etc.. possibly one is anxiously attached and the other is
ambivalent / disorganised/avoidant
BIBLIOGRAPHY :
Ainsworth,M &
Bowlby,J ( 1965)
Bowlby, J ( 1988)
Bowlby,J ( 1979)
ButlerC & Joyce, V
Laverack & Laverack (
1994)
Penquin, London
A Secure Base
The Making & Breaking of Affectionate Bonds
Counselling Couples in Relationships
The Essential Red Guide to Couple Relationship
Counselling Theory
Routledge, London
Tavistock, London
Wiley, New York
Perceptions
Bowlby.doc 2015
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