12 Steps of Spirituality Completed

the 12 steps of spirituality
Facilitated by Sholom Bloom

& Joy Nielan-Green
the greatest form of ignorance is to reject

something that you know nothing about
Copyright Liveworks & S. Bloom
Step 1 assignment
We admitted we were powerless over

people, places and things and that our
lives had become unmanageable
their is nothing so perfect as a broken heart
Step 1 Assignment
Step 1 as the first step is the basis for all the others the greater our
awareness is the deeper our recovery will be. In working towards
spirituality the basis is humility - I am the same as others but less then
my higher power. In this context humility means to recognize what we
are powerless over and what we are powerful over. The serenity prayer is
a good guide to this process:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

The courage to change the things I can and
The wisdom to know the difference.
The art of serenity is to be able to be in the now and to say yes to
reality. This is an easy concept but very difficult. In this first step we
will attempt to understand both intellectually and emotionally how we
are powerless over so many things and the inability to accept this is the
cause of so many peoples lack of serenity.
Over the page please list as many things as you are powerless over as
possible please use extra paper if necessary. Then list anything that you
are powerful over this will likely by only one thing in each category.
People I am
powerless over:
Results of trying to
control them:
Partner.
Act codep, become dep Have long arguments

which leave me over
at not getting what I
tired and prone to using.
want.
Resulting
unmanageabilty :
People I am
powerless over:
control them:
Train station.
Miss trains get irritable Miss trains and cusat lines to get tickets. tomers do not trust me
to be on time.
Resulting
unmanageabilty :
People I am
powerless over:
control them:
Time.
Rushing and becoming Coming late and getnervous.

ting angry.
Resulting
unmanageabilty :
Step 2 assignment
We came to believe that a power greater

than ourselves could lead us to sanity
the greatest form of ignorance is to reject something

that you know nothing about
Step 2
We came to believe that a power greater than

ourselves could lead us to sanity
Can one prove 100% that God or a power greater than ourselves exists?
No.
Can one prove 100% that God or a power greater than ourselves does not exists?
No.
So what we believe in is to a large extent up to what we decide to believe not
100% based on logic. It is of course inuenced by our society, intellect and personal
psychology.
Belief is by denition something that we do not know completely we believe in it.
Our beliefs are created from a mixture of conscious and unconscious ideas,
knowledge, upbringing, society and our personal experience. Part of the purpose of
the 2nd step is to re-look at our beliefs and to make them as conscious as possible.
In general our beliefs will have supported our addictive and unhealthy
behaviour.
In this second step after admitting that we could not overcome our problems/
addiction by ourselves we begin to explore if there is a power or powers greater
than ourselves that might be able to help us.
Note: The word God provokes intense reactions in many people. Some profoundly
believe in him, some are convinced that he does not exist. Probably more people
have died due to religion (i.e. the belief that I know what God wants me to
do), than any other reason. Since people have been tortured, persecuted and
discriminated against in the name of God. It is not surprising that the word is so
emotive. For this and other reasons the term higher power will be used instead of
God.
Where believes come from:

Lets have a look at how beliefs in general come about and specically how our own
beliefs have come about.
Write out three beliefs, (not about your higher power) that you have that form your
core values about how the world works. E.g. the world is always unjust and cruel.
1.
2.
3.
Looking at our beliefs:

For each belief write out if it is
Logical?
Internally consistent?
Long term helpful to you?
Others that you respect have this believe?
Then write down below what factors inuenced you to acquire this belief, e.g.
upbringing, society or our personal experience.
Basis of recreating believes:

As we have seen that believes are not absolutes but come to us through our
parenting, family of origin, social circles and inuence of others etc. thus ...
If a belief is not working for you can decide to

change it.
The question then evolves to be
If one is going to consciously change ones beliefs, (rather than having them
unconsciously driven) what would be a healthy basis for nding or deciding what
these new beliefs are. Here are four axioms to use.
1. That they are long term useful.
2. Logical internal structure.
3. Can lead to further growth.
4. Based on investigation and experimentation.
5. Add any others that you personal might nd helpful.
List ve healthy beliefs that you would help your recovery

based on the above criteria:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
10
Now we need to nd a power greater than yourself using the same principles:
Higher power:
Outline your beliefs about your higher power.
Is this belief
1. Long term useful to you.
2. Has a logical internal structure.
3. Can lead to further growth.
4. Based on investigation and experimentation, based on sanity (see below).
Five levels of higher power:

There are ve levels of higher power that are normally accepted as appropriate higher powers and
these are listed below.
Note: This list is just suggestions and there are other possible higher powers that one could have.
1. A higher self that good part of us that is beyond the rational decision making part of us.
2. The power of the group whether this is a spiritual idea that the group has an energy greater
than any person or just two heads are better than one.
3. The power of nature Connecting with that force greater than ourselves.
4. The energy of the universe that mystical energy source that includes everything in the
universe/multi-verse.
5. God in the sense of a self aware being that is omnipotent and omniscient.
Think about whether any of these ve could be your higher power. You can choose one of them,
some of them, all of them or one of your own.
11
Moving from step 1 to step 2:

Sanity:
A useful denition of insanity is: Doing same things over and over and expecting different results.
What have I done that insane.
1.
2.
3.
Thus a denition of sanity could be: Accepting the results of behaviours and actions and behaving
appropriately.
Thus in other words sanity would be looking at what Ive done if it works repeat that behaviour.
If it does not work then nd out why it did not work. Find the help you need to achieve different
results.
So lets look at what weve been powerless over then what type of help we need to achieve
different results.
What hopefully has occurred from step one is that you are aware that there are a number of
people, places and things that you are powerless over and as a result of this powerlessness your
life has become unmanageable. Please list the people, places and things that you are powerless
over:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
So above you have stated that you by yourself got overpowered and became powerless by
yourself.
Maybe an additional source of power, energy, or help could assist you.
This is the concept of a higher power.
12
If I by myself cannot handle my problems maybe I can get some help and
together we can become powerful.
So I need to nd a belief in some power that can give me the ability to deal with my problem and
thus stop my using and therefore my manageability.
Map out the powerlessness from above to the higher power or powers you have chosen, e.g.
1. I cannot stop drinking
I need the help of an AA meeting.
2. I have little serenity in my life
I need the connection with nature.
3. I have no purpose in the world
I need to connect with the universal energy source or God.
Advanced work:
1. Came to believe ...
Spirituality is a journey rather than an event. Belief is a continuing journey. The rst step is an
intellectual one to change ones perception and believe. Once this has happened the next phase is to
deepen the connection and thus the belief.
Write out how often you got let down when you prayed for specic material goods.
Write out what happened when in humility you asked to connect with Gods will.
Spend 20 minutes meditating on the results.
13
2. Can your HP be deeper more personal?

Write a letter to your higher power, be honest. Write from the heart the good and the bad. What
you want, what your questions are etc. Read the letter out in group or with a spiritual mentor.
Once done now write another letter from your higher power. Try and use the healthiest, purest
template you have for your higher power rather than any old negative versions.
3. Construct a collage of your relationship with your dad or primary care giver. Once done
share this with group or spiritual mentor. After you understand the underlying dynamic of this
relationship create another collage of your relationship with your higher power.
As our father or primary care giver will be the template for how we connect to our higher power
write a paragraph focusing on any connection between the two.
14
Step 3 assignment
Made a decision to turn our will and

our lives over to the care of God as we
understood him
would you like to be happy or right?
15
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over

to the care of God as we understood him
This is the one of the simplest steps and the hardest.
In step 1 we recognize that we by ourselves are powerless. In step 2 we find

various higher power that when we join with them we become powerful. Step 3
states we follow the opinions, suggestion and directions of the higher power we
have found in step 2.
When we talk about letting go what it means is I will do according to my higher

powers will not my own. E.g. I want to use but my AA group suggests I go to a
meeting a day and share. Or I want to go our with a certain person but my sponsor
says I should wait till I have a year sobriety. Or I want to start a new job but my
Higher power seems to be telling me no by putting blocks in the way.
One important issue is that we must keep on turning it over to my HP not just
once but turn our lives and the way we run our lives over for it to be permanently
effective on a day to day basis. This requires the basis of humility that someone or
something knows better than me.
16
Situation:
Example:
I want to keep
drinking.
Example:
I want to date a new
partner.
Step 1:
What aspect(s) of
the situation am I
powerless over:
When I take the first

drink I cannot control
how many I drink and
the subsequent effects.
What she will do to me

request to go out with
her.
My emotions if things
get messy like the last
5 times.
Step 2:
What higher power
am I getting help
with this from.
My AA group.
My sponsor and the

advise of the program.
Step 3:
Listen to their advise
What I need to do
about keep coming to
to turn it over to the meetings and sharing.
higher power above:
Listen to my sponsor
and wait 6 months.
What do I think the I will keep on drinking

outcome would be if and my life will continI try to continue to ue to deteriorate.
do it my way?
Likely I will end up in

an emotional mess and
greatly increase my
chance of relapse.
What do I think the I will be able to remain

outcome would be
sober and my life will
if I do it my HP way improve.
and turn it over to?
I will increase my
chances of remaining
clean. I will emotionally
mature and be better
prepared for a healthy
relationship.
17
Situation:
Step 1:
What aspect(s) of
the situation am I
powerless over:
Step 2:
What higher power
am I getting help
with this from.
Step 3:
What I need to do
to turn it over to the
higher power above:
What do I think the

outcome would be if
I try to continue to
do it my way?
What do I think the

outcome would be
if I do it my HP way
18
Situation:
Step 1:
What aspect(s) of
the situation am I
powerless over:
Step 2:
What higher power
am I getting help
with this from.
Step 3:
What I need to do
higher power above:
What do I think the

outcome would be if
do it my way?
What do I think the

outcome would be
19
Situation:
Step 1:
What aspect(s) of
the situation am I
powerless over:
Step 2:
What higher power
am I getting help
with this from.
Step 3:
What I need to do
higher power above:
What do I think the

outcome would be if
do it my way?
What do I think the

outcome would be
20
Step 4 assignment
Made a searching and fearless moral
inventory of ourselves
our secrets keep us sick
Step 5 assignment
Admitted to God, to ourselves and another
human being the exact nature of our
wrongs
the truth will set you free
21
Physical offences:
Includes touching
when not given
permission:
Feelings about it at
the time:
22
How did this

contribute to your
spiritual believe
system:
Sexual offences:
Includes not
respecting own and
others sexuality.
the time:
23
How did this

contribute to your
spiritual believe
system:
Emotional offences:
Includes not
respecting your own
the time:
and others emotions:
24
How did this

contribute to your
spiritual believe
system:
Intellectual
offences: Includes
not respecting
others opinions and
beliefs.
the time:
25
How did this

contribute to your
spiritual believe
system:
Spiritual offences:
Includes all aspects
of spirituality that
are inappropriate:
the time:
I swore inappropriately Angry and resentful.

at my HP
How did this

contribute to your
spiritual believe
system:
Its okay to behave
inappropriately with my
HP.
Did not listen to my HP Arrogant and Im right. I do not have to listen

although it was clear
Scared underneath.
to my HP. I can do it
what it wanted.
my way.
I made my Dad my HP. Scared and jealous.
Its okay to make another human my HP.
Controlled my students Self righteous and bet- I can use my spiritual

with my spiritual knowl- ter than. Scared under- knowledge and gift to
edge for my benefit.
neath.
gain for myself.
Used my gift as a parent to control my kids
at their loss.
Angry and irritated.
I can use my position

as a parent to make
myself feel better.
Abusing others for dif- Self righteous and bet- I am right others who
ferent views to my own. ter than. Scared under- believe different are
neath.
wrong.
Not keeping to my
own personal spiritual
boundaries.
Lustful and envious.
I can be spiritual and

do non-spiritual
actions.
Interfering with others

keeping their own spiritual practices.
Arrogant and angry.
I can stop others doing

what I think is wrong.
Not working on my step Im okay without this.

11.
I do not need to pray

or meditate.
Not having a spiritual

life.
I do not need
spirituality.
Depression and grief.
26
Spiritual offences:
Includes all aspects
of spirituality that
are inappropriate:
the time:
27
How did this

contribute to your
spiritual believe
system:
Step 6 assignment
Were entirely ready to have God remove all

these defects of character
to thine own self be true
28
Were entirely ready to have God remove all

these defects of character
The purpose of step six is too identify your character defects. Looking
at your step three lists and in particular your step four work should form
the basis for this exercise. This step can never be finished or perfect. We
all have issues that we need to work on. Pefectionism might be one of
our issues.
As we have mentioned spirituality is connecting to something greater

than ourselves in a healthy way. Thus looking at this step though the
eyes of spirituality means looking at the way we interact with God, nature, groups, other people and our higher self.
Character defects are about dysfunctional ways of behaving thus it is

important to realize what we what to achieve underneath the actual behaviour.
Please write down your personal experience of the negative results of
the character defect and then if applicable a personal example of that
defect. E.g. people pleasing, I lent money which I did not have, the results were I was resentful when I did not get the money back on time
and lost a friend. The underlying objective was to be closer to someone
and have them like me more.
29
Defects:
Negative results of
defects:
People pleasing
Striving for power
Over commitment
Tolerating sexual abuse

and loss of personal
morality
Blaming other i.e. not

taking responsibility.
Indecisiveness
30
Underlying desires:
Defects:
Negative results of
defects:
Lack of passion
Raging
Controlling
Lying and dishonesty
Playing the victim
Striving for power
31
Underlying desires:
Defects:
Negative results of
defects:
Shutting others out
Inappropriate social
behaviour
Irresponsibility
Not caring about

yourself appropriately
Lack of financial control
Self righteous
32
Underlying desires:
Defects:
Negative results of
defects:
Always being right
Not being able to trust

in your HP
Perfectionist
Lack of intimacy
Score keeping
Jealousy
33
Underlying desires:
Defects:
Negative results of
defects:
Egotistical
Always arguing
Nagging
List any other

character defects:
34
Underlying desires:
Step 7 assignment
Humbly, asked God to

remove our shortcomings
the core of all spirituality is humility and the core of all

humility is healthy shame
35
Humbly, asked God to

remove our shortcomings
Step 7 is so often the missed step, what exactly is the addition from step
6?
Well in essence steps 2 to 9 are in pairs. Think about and work out what
to do, then do it. Step 2 define what power there is to help you, step 3
ask it for help. Step 4 write out a moral inventory step 5 share it. Step 6
figure out the dysfunctional, unhealthy mechanisms that keep you sick
and step 7 is to change them. (Step 8 is about making a list of people
you need to make amends to, step 9 is making amends to them.)
Thus step 7 is about asking your higher power, whatever you defined
it as in step 2, to remove your shortcomings. If you identified always
needing to be right, as one of your issues then step 7 is asking say
the group for the way to remove this defect. The steps do not work by
magic it is not that you sit down and pray please let me be less arrogant
and hey presto the perfectly humble entity emerges the other side of the
pray. Not.
What can happen, is that there is an intellectual and emotional realization that the behaviour patterns that I have employed are unhelpful to
constructive long term relationships and my emotional health. I can then
get the strength, advise, inspiration to employ new more mature and
useful behaviours.
This step takes the work of step 6, that is based on step 4. Then using
your step 2 and 3 helps create a new level of behaviour. Only working
these two steps well will give you the ability to do a full step 8 and 9.
Copy over your step 6 headings in the first column then enter an healthy
alternative and any possible blocks that might stop you substituting the
behaviour.
36
Defects:
Healthy substitute:
Possible blocks:
People pleasing
Helping where appropriate and healthy.
Difficulty of knowing
which situations are
genuine helping.
Striving for power
Over commitment
Tolerating sexual abuse

and loss of personal
morality
Blaming other i.e. not

taking responsibility.
Indecisiveness
37
Defects:
Healthy substitute:
Lack of passion
Raging
Controlling
Lying and dishonesty
Playing the victim
Striving for power
38
Possible blocks:
Defects:
Healthy substitute:
Shutting others out
Inappropriate social
behaviour
Irresponsibility
Not caring about

yourself appropriately
Lack of financial control
Self righteous
39
Possible blocks:
Defects:
Healthy substitute:
Always being right
Not being able to trust

in your HP
Perfectionist
Lack of intimacy
Score keeping
Jealousy
40
Possible blocks:
Defects:
Healthy substitute:
Egotistical
Always arguing
Nagging
List any other

character defects:
41
Possible blocks:
Step 8 assignment
Made a list of all persons we had harmed
and became willing to make amends to them
all
when I realize a lie hurts me far more than I could
possible gain...
Step 9 assignment
Made direct amends to such people
wherever possible except when to do so
would injure them or others
the offer, is to become a wounded healer
42
Made a list of all persons we had harmed

and became willing to make amends to them
all
Step 8 is about making amends. You have hurt people, neglecting your
own or others spirituality agree that you are willing to fix it. Remember it
not about making the amends in step 8 its about becoming willing to.
In working though the amends with the spiritual aspect the ones that we
need to take care of are the ones been over looked for a number of reasons.
Often the most difficult amends are to those people that we hurt very
slightly and that they have hurt us far more than we have hurt them.
In particular over the next though pages you will be asked to reflect
on your step 4 spirituality section to see who you might need to make
amends to. Your HP, yourself and your own or other religions/spiritual
groups will normally figure highly in this section.
Always remember we are not seeking to defend ourselves just accept
that we have cause harm and that it is us and only us that can make
amends for our hurt no matter the justifications for doing this.
This not an excuse for beating yourself up just a chance to take responsibility and make amends.
Step 9 is for you to do outside of this workshop. Remember the cardinal
rule never make amends if to do so will create further harm or upset to
those you offer it to.
43
Name:
Approx. date:
What I did:
What would I do to make amends:
Would a direct amend cause further upset:
Name:
Approx. date:
What I did:
44
Name:
Approx. date:
What I did:
Name:
Approx. date:
What I did:
45
Name:
Approx. date:
What I did:
Name:
Approx. date:
What I did:
46
Name:
Approx. date:
What I did:
Name:
Approx. date:
What I did:
47
Name:
Approx. date:
What I did:
Name:
Approx. date:
What I did:
48
Name:
Approx. date:
What I did:
Name:
Approx. date:
What I did:
49
Step 10 assignment
Continued to take personal inventory, and
when we were wrong, promptly admitted it
Spirituality is about doing spiritual acts, not believing in a
nice concept.
Step 11 assignment
Sought through prayer and meditation to
improve our conscious contact with God,
praying only for knowledge of Gods will for
us and the power to carry it out
Prayer is talking to God, meditation is listening to his
answer
50
Step 12 assignment
Having had a spiritual awakening as a result

of these steps, we tried to carry the message
to those who still suffer and to practice these
principles in all our affairs
Get a life and then live it
51
The last three steps are often known as the maintenance steps. In other
words they need to be done on a daily basis, forever. Sorry, that last bit
does not compute?
Schedule, discipline, hard work are not what most addicts or depressives
wants to hear. A quick fix or at least a hard work followed by a gentle
path to serenity is more like it.
The underlining concept of the steps is that it is the absence of a deep
and embracing spirituality is the cause of addiction. Which one of the 12
steps is not a spiritual one. What part of the healing process is not spiritual, which part of the disease is not the opposite of spirituality.
If we do not embrace this last section of the program, the hard earned
gains that we have made over the last 9 steps will gradual disappear.
You will find these last exercises less structures more open for your own
creativity. This is designed like this as by this stage you will be moving
on creating your own spirituality that must come from deep inside you.
There is a general three stage plan:
1. Take daily inventory, step 10.
2. Pray/meditate on a daily basis, step 11.
3. Live a life of spirituality, step 12.
52
Overleaf are three exercises:

1. Write up a way to take a daily inventory that suites you.
2. Create your own prayer and meditation regime that fulfils you.
3. Write out the path you are going to take to have a spiritual awakening and then how you are going to share the precious gift you have been
given with others.
Remember step 12 states that having had a spiritual awakening we try to
carry the message and live it in our daily life.
In other words:
a) It is only your job to carry the message once you have had a spiritual
awakening. Before that concentrate on getting better yourself.
b) It is only your job to carry the message not to make sure others get it,
that will be down to you.
c) The more you live the program the more you will be able to effectively
carry the massage.
Good luck and God bless on your journey.
Sholom.
53
Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were

wrong, promptly admitted it.
Write down how you plan to take a daily inventory:
Time:
Place:
How: Tables, dairy, checklist etc.
Possible blocks to achieving this:
Advantages to regularly doing this:
54
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our

conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge
of Gods will for us and the power to carry it out.
Write down how you plan to pray and meditate:
Time and duration:
Place, try and find a special place to p/m:
What sort of pray:
What sort of meditation:
Possible blocks to achieving this:
Advantages to regularly doing this:
55
Try clearing your mind for meditation then take up a pen and write our
your own prayer, let it flow naturally from your spiritual, creative side:
Do the same for a meditation:
56
Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these

steps, we tried to carry the message to those who still
suffer and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
What do you understand by the term spiritual awakening?

Intellectually:
Emotional:
Spiritually:
What do you need to move further down the path to having a spiritual
awakening?
Intellectually:
Emotional:
Spiritually:
57
How plan to practice these principles in all your affairs?

Physically:
Intellectually:
Emotional:
Spiritually:
Daily life:
58
Spirituality workshops:
Please join us to continue your spiritual growth in our other
workshops in 06:
Came to believe
Monday, April 17th.

Do you have a problem nding a higher power?
Are you unsure how to connect to your higher power?
Would you like to have a more intimate relationship with your higher power?
Spiritual relationships:
Monday, May 29th.

How is your relationship?
Are your sexual experiences spiritual?
Do you want to nd out why you cannot nd your soul mate?
Prayer and meditation:
Monday, May 1st.

Do you have problems with prayer or meditation?
Would you like to experience a day of stillness and connection?
Would you like some personnel direction with step 11?
Nature:
Monday, August 28th.

Is nature your way to spirituality?
Do you want to experience a day of serenity?
Learn or enhance your experience of being in the NOW with nature.
On going spiritual development:

Sholom is also starting a on-going spiritual workshop every week at LW London as
well as being avalible for one - one sessions.
59

12 Steps of Spirituality Completed

Uploaded by

Document Information

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

12 Steps of Spirituality Completed

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

the 12 steps of spirituality

Facilitated by Sholom Bloom

the greatest form of ignorance is to reject

Copyright Liveworks & S. Bloom

We admitted we were powerless over

their is nothing so perfect as a broken heart

Copyright Liveworks & S. Bloom

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

Copyright Liveworks & S. Bloom

Act codep, become dep Have long arguments

Copyright Liveworks & S. Bloom

Copyright Liveworks & S. Bloom

Rushing and becoming Coming late and getnervous.

Copyright Liveworks & S. Bloom

We came to believe that a power greater

the greatest form of ignorance is to reject something

Copyright Liveworks & S. Bloom

We came to believe that a power greater than

Copyright Liveworks & S. Bloom

Where believes come from:

Looking at our beliefs:

Copyright Liveworks & S. Bloom

Basis of recreating believes:

If a belief is not working for you can decide to

List ve healthy beliefs that you would help your recovery

Five levels of higher power:

Copyright Liveworks & S. Bloom

Moving from step 1 to step 2:

Copyright Liveworks & S. Bloom

I need the help of an AA meeting.

2. I have little serenity in my life

I need the connection with nature.

3. I have no purpose in the world

I need to connect with the universal energy source or God.

Copyright Liveworks & S. Bloom

2. Can your HP be deeper more personal?

Copyright Liveworks & S. Bloom

Made a decision to turn our will and

would you like to be happy or right?

Copyright Liveworks & S. Bloom

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over

This is the one of the simplest steps and the hardest.

In step 1 we recognize that we by ourselves are powerless. In step 2 we find

When we talk about letting go what it means is I will do according to my higher

Copyright Liveworks & S. Bloom

When I take the first

What she will do to me

My sponsor and the

What do I think the I will keep on drinking

Likely I will end up in

What do I think the I will be able to remain

Copyright Liveworks & S. Bloom

What do I think the

What do I think the

Copyright Liveworks & S. Bloom

What do I think the

What do I think the

Copyright Liveworks & S. Bloom

What do I think the

What do I think the

Copyright Liveworks & S. Bloom

the truth will set you free

Copyright Liveworks & S. Bloom

Copyright Liveworks & S. Bloom