My interpersonal communication skills are both strong and weak in multiple

areas. First, I need to polish my nonverbal packages. For example, sometimes I have the
right voice and tone for the situation, but my nonverbal message is inappropriate and
irrelevant to the conversation. To explain, last night I was working a serving shift and my
co-worker was talking to me. Shes a kind, Hispanic woman with a vibrant personality;
and although sweet, she never shuts up. I dont want to be rude to her, so I try to sound
like Im actively listening, and I think I did/do a decent job with thatbecause no
awkwardness has ever commenced, BUT whenever I talk to her, I finally myself
inevitably turning my head, and looking around the dinning area. If I were her, I could
perceive that as inactive listening, and rudeness. Its like my neck and head are automatic
and I dont even think about doing it now, I just do.
Since starting my College career, Ive smiled less. Maybe its the stress or just the
general negative atmosphere clouding my mind. Anyway, my grandmother who I see all
the time, smiles all the time. And seeing her smile strangely makes me realize when Im
not smiling. Simply thinking about those externals, I deem them significantly of value
when communicating. They say not to judge a book by its cover, but we all do it.
Nonverbally, I also communicate Im tired, sometimes I cant help a natural, bodily
yawn, but I can cover it or hide it. To me, it means one thingjust that Im tired, but to
whomever is on the end of the message, the receiverit could mean disinterest, that Im
bored. Its so taxing to be cognizant of how I react, and how I think others will perceive
me. A lot of these reactions happen so rapidly too that, of course, a lot of messages are
misinterpreted. Furthermore, I roll my eyes a lot when I have my contacts in, as well as
blink unceasingly. To some that may mean, I dont believe what theyre sayinglike
Yeah, right! *Rolls his eyes*. To others, it could be, Why is he twitching? To me, its
just that my eyes are feeling dry, the contact isnt centered or settled.
I manipulate my appearance, so that the world sees me a certain way. I care a lot
about how I look for several and good reasons! I want to be professional and presentable,
because my reputation matters to me. Statista reports states that the cosmetics industry
brings in over $55 billion annually, as of 2014. I heard something of these likes in
church and was appalled. Just the other night, I spent $55 on toothpaste whitening, acne
treatment cream, hair gel, contacts, and that doesnt even begin to include the beauty
stuff I buy. I live in a culture and society where being young and good looking is extoled;
I want to fit in, just to be able to stand out later.
According to Professor Fuller, a Communications Professor from the University
of Cincinnati, You are your own personal brand. I manipulate every aspect of who I
am by my appearance; I never let it change the person I am though, just how I am
perceived by others. For example, I wear 3-4 different colognes, spend a fortune on
contactsjust to hate them, get 3 different kinds of shampoo to moisturize my hair and
control my dandruff, am on prescribed medication for Acnebecause of a social
influence, and insecurity about my really trivial acne, probably damaged my teeth more
than kept them healthy, because I was concerned about whiteness and appearance more
than the composition well-being. I buy Nike shoes because it is a trend in my culture. I
manipulate myself to be manipulated by a culture, which tells me how to act, feel and
dress. Pretty messed up, but its something of which I execute myself.
I am guilty of placating. I act like Im listening a lot, but Im really not. I dont
know how or why that is because Im a good speaker, but I really do need to work on my

listening skills. I think its a mix with daydreaming; I get so tired so easilyand my mind
just isnt there. Listening is like working or running miles. Its exhausting to actively
respond and incorporate humor, wisdom, advice, etc. We take for granted
communication, but effective communication, meaningful communication is harder to
achieve. I think I just need to be present. When I first started serving, I didnt think I
could do it. When costumers told me what they wanted, I would listen, but not really
listen. I dont think Im incapable of listening, and I dont know why I block people out
sometimes, especially in a work setting. I have to figure it out, and practice ways to
enhance my listening skills.
I manage my emotions with a journal. I relish writing, and the creative writing
course Im taking has especially helped me to manage my crazy range of emotions. Also,
I love acting and performing. This mode of expression allows me to explore humans,
humanity and the wide range of human emotions. I can channel my emotions through a
character, the character being like a safety net to keep my sanity supported.
Social Media has both helped and harmed my relationships. To explain, I moved
to UC from West Virginia, so my old High School friends are all over the country, and the
main way we stay in touch is through Facebook. I feel so incredibly connected and close
to people through social media. With that being said, I think it possibly has negatively
affected my communication with people. My college friends now arent much of talkers
and its not that they dont know how to communicate; its just that theyve just
different applications for crutches. And behind any screen or phone, you dont get the
natural, human reactions. Like when I send, an LOL in a text. Im almost never
actually laughing, but the receiver wouldnt know that because they dont receive my
essential non-verbal/language communication.
I have a lot of work to still do. Im always going to be adjusting my
communication with and for others, but being aware of my skills and weaknesses will
give me a better understanding of my intentional and unintentional communication.