Why Would Anyone Want To Leave The Comforts of The US and Return To India

27/10/2015
WhyWouldAnyoneWantToLeaveTheComfortsOfTheUSAndReturnToIndia?
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Why Would Anyone Want To Leave The Comforts Of

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Ill write this reply as an American with lots of Indian friends, Indian wife and having
spent a lot of time in various parts of India.
1. Neither system is perfect. The United States isnt even close to perfect. But neither
is India. Everyone here has cited examples of positives and negatives on both sides
and i have some of my own.
a) One thing that really upsets me in India is that people dont pull over for
ambulances. It could be your own grandmother dying in that ambulance, but drivers
in India dont move for that ambulance.
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27/10/2015
b) Conversely, here in the United States, a mother could give birth to a child in a
hospital and once the child has been born, they are left alone with barely any care in
a hospital room. They are hurried to leave the room and go back home. These things
would never happen in India. There are always lots of people around to take care of
you and help you with various things, even outside of immediate family.
My point being that there are positives and negatives on both sides.
2. Nostalgia vs. Practicality. I fell in love the first time i went to India in 1999. I loved
the chaos, the culture, the festivals and social scene, i thought it was all great. Im
not one of those Americans that stayed in Taj Hotels and hired drivers to go
everywhere. I stayed at local small places, took the train and bus and forced myself to
integrate. And i remember thinking to myself, how can my friends from India living
in the US be happy in the United States? But, i was in India as a tourist until i met my
wife. And coming to India as a tourist and living in India are two entirely different
things. As a tourist of any country, typically you are seeing the best that country has
to offer. Not the reality of day-to-day stuff.
a) The luster of India wore off on me once I became an OCI and our family had to do
administrative actions. We had to change ownership of some land at a minisecretariat in Gurgaon. Holy shit. What a nightmare, we were put in a long queue,
had to wait for workers to finish lunch. Bribed a guy to get us through the line faster,
visited over 10 different serving windows for various checks. Had to pay a lawyer to
print a paper, come back and bribe some CM to approve the land sale, How does this
system function?
b) My wife and I went to the Post Office in Gurgaon and tried to redeem her 401k
pension thing (I forget the name of this) and the Post Office was a complete
nightmare as well. I had these sweaty railroad workers pushing on me and yelling at
people behind the counter. It was absolute chaos.
c) On the Delhi metro and witnessing young men not letting old ladies sit down. For
me that is unacceptable. Its basic human decency. Nothing about culture here.
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Anyhow, my point here is this I used to wonder how my friends from India could
live in the United States, based on the cultural differences, the great food, the strong
social/family circles etc. I thought they lost a lot of that coming to America.
Until i had to live like a local. Then it started to make sense to me. All the
aggravation, of simple tasks, the impossible morning/evening commutes, bribes to
make people just do their basic jobs like it was a favor to me, hiring someone to clean
my flat, clean my car, tiffen service, all these little things, it adds up.
So i personally think its a matter of Nostalgia vs. Practicality. For some people
nostalgia is stronger than practicality and for others practicality is more important
than nostalgia.
Who is to say which way is better? Its a very personal decision.
Lets take a few other things into account,
3. Future-Proofing. India is progressing at an amazing rate. For example, just look at
how people celebrate Holi in a village vs. a city. Its not even close to the same thing.
Villages still breathe and live authentic old-school Indian life. In cities, a bunch of
people plan to meet, throw some color a little bit (Mostly rubbing some on
themselves) and they call this Holi. Same can be said for Diwali. Not the same in
cities vs. Villages.
20 years from now, itll be like Christmas in the United States. Just pageantry. The
real meaning of the festivals will be lost in cities especially.
Look at the way children are raised today. Men taking care of their parents is
becoming less and less standard each and every year.
My point here is, while many of you (And even myself) have very fond memories of
the older India, the fact of the matter is that when any culture progresses they start
to lose their culture and identity. And India is not immune to this problem.
I suspect 20 years from now, if we were to have this same conversation, the nostalgia
factor would be much less in Indias favor, just because India is changing so rapidly.
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27/10/2015
My personal hope and belief is that India doesnt lose its identity. Its such a rich
culture and fun country, i hope it never changes. But nobody can stop progression.
And i cant be selfish enough to hope that those in poverty situations cant pull
themselves out of that.
Next up, my controversial points
4. Challenge Yourself. Some people commented here, that you have to take care of
everything yourself. You dont have a maid, a driver, a cook etc. I think that everyone
should challenge themselves in life. While it is nice to have these luxuries, it also
makes you very dependent on other people for even basic things. Every MAN, should
know how to cook basic food. How to clean their own clothes, how to drive a car. How
to paint a wall.
When I see people complaining that they have to do stuff themselves here in the
United States, I think these are the first people that will want to back to India. Dont
you want some measure of independence? Dont you want to know how to be a useful
human being? If your money source went away, wouldnt you need basic skills to
survive on this planet?
Case in point I was mowing my lawn and trimming hedges the other day, my father
in law was taking a video of me doing this. And i asked why. He said, because in India
wed never do this ourselves. Cleaning my own car, hed never done it before.
So while on the one hand, i like the idea of paying someone else to do stuff for me,
there is a certain satisfaction in learning to do things yourself. Some people catch the
independence bug. Others just want people to do stuff for them. Dont fall into the
trap of having someone else do everything for you, be a self-sustaining human being.
I promise you, there is satisfaction in it.
5. Schooling vs. Knowledge. While you may have been a topper in your class, that
doesnt do much for you when you need to fix a door lock. Or install a speaker on
your car. Schooling is great, knowledge is power. But so is practical experience. Also,
Indian educations dont focus much on history outside of India. I was surprised to
5/31
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learn from my wife how insular India is when it comes to geography and world
history. If you ask the average Indian if India participated in WWII, they dont even
know that they did.
My point here is that you can be book smart, you can be the topper on your favorite
subject. But to be really smart, you need to be a well rounded human being. You need
to know what goes on outside your own country. You need to question authority,
around the world and ask why things are the way they are.
6. Integration. I take particular offense to this point. Listen, the United States
population is no more racist than Indians. I understand enough Hindi to know what
people say behind my back. (Gora, foreigner) etc.. if you think Indians are any less
racist than Americans, you havent been on the receiving end, within India. I have.
Honestly, from what Ive noticed, there are two types of Indians that come to the
United States. Or probably any foreign country for that matter.
a) The Indian that is open to integrating with other cultures besides other Indians.
b) Those that only congregate with other Indians.
If you fall under (a) you are opening your mind to the way other cultures think, the
foods they eat, the adventures they embark on. Living this life in my opinion is much
fuller than just hanging around other people of the same culture.
Why do people travel this world? Why do people want a genuine/authentic
experience in a foreign land? Because we want to learn about new cultures. How can
you not get tired of your own culture from time to time? The planet is very large and
the system you grew up with isnt always the best. Wouldnt it be better to integrate
with many cultures and learn from them?
Otherwise, how could you be objective about your own culture? You couldnt. In my
opinion, its imperative that all of us integrate. We all need to take a chance on
attending a party of people not like ourselves. We all need to sometimes let ourselves
be vulnerable to strangers. Otherwise how can you grow as a person?
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27/10/2015
Here in America, I see many groups of Indians especially in IT, that only go to lunch
with other Indians. On their weekends, they only meet with Indians. How boring is
this? What would happen if you invited your (Gora) coworker to lunch with your
Indian group one day? Wouldnt that be fun to exchange ideas and differences?
Integration is a two way street. Take a chance, you may be surprised with the result.
Finally. First and foremost, im an American and a patriot. I love my country. But part
of love is also recognizing ones faults. America has many faults. As does any country.
But i also love India. What an amazing country. From the richest to the poorest
person, you can learn from everyone in India. They all have unique stories to tell and
lessons to be learned. Some of my most cherished life experiences have occurred in
India, simply because of the chaos, the traffic, the bribery, without these differences,
today id still think the entire world is just like the United States.
Surprise. This may come as a surprise, but i want to retire in India. I want to retire in
India for the same reasons that a lot of people here miss India. The nostalgia factor.
Ive had so many great interactions with various people in India, but its not just that.
There is an electricity, a sort of rhythm in India. Something that just cant be
measured with todays instruments. That doesnt occur here in America. America will
always be my home and my heart. But there is some immeasurable attraction to
India. Its such a diverse and vibrant country.
My final days will be spent in India.
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Addacomment...
GeoffreyMcneilDavies
UKwhitemanhere....WifefromIndia,afterourdaughterwasbornwedecidedtobringherupin
India(Bangalore)...Ihavelivedinbothcountries,IndiaisalotbetterthantheUK...Trustme!!
LikeReply
3116hrs
AshokRajaSritharanWorksatInfosys
Goodtohearthat.AsanIndian(bornandlivedmostofmylifeinIndia),Ihaveliveda
fewyearsintheUKandUSA.Idon'tagreewithyourstatementthough...
LikeReply10hrs
ShayanChatterjeeUCL
IndianbornlivingintheU.K.here...whatmakesIndiabetterthanU.K.?Isn'tlifemuch
easierinU.K.?
LikeReply
19hrs
AnkitaDasFounderandOwneratIWOWDSkincare
IknowIndiaislotbetterthanUK,IhavebeentherebutUSAisstillbetterthanbothof
them.
LikeReply3hrs
AbhishekAcharyaR.S.V.Bikaner
Ifyoutakesomethingfromquora,atleastmentionthesource!
LikeReply
612hrs
PritishPatilSirM.VisvesvarayaInstituteofTechnology
ThisarticleisdefinitelywrittenbyanIndian,specificallyawoman,andnotbysomeforeignguy.
(Psychologicalanalysis)
LikeReply
414hrs
JamesThuppayath
Youmust'vefailedPsychologyclass.
LikeReply
1812hrs
10/31
27/10/2015
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1812hrs
GangadharReddyNaralaIITBhubaneswar
ItoofeltlikeyouPritish..Butcomparisionisawesome.
LikeReply
211hrsEdited
ArnabGangulySaveIndianFamilyMumbai
Notsurewhatyoumeanby"Mentakingcareofparents","Mennotgivingseatstowomen",
youseemtohaveabsolvedthewomenofallresponsibilityandaccountability.Wheninrising
Indiawouldwomenalsobeexpectedtotakecareoftheirparentsandnotdemandseatsin
trains.
LikeReply
315hrsEdited
RamathMallikarjunaNaikB.techstudentatIITGuwahati
heyhesaidoldladies..
LikeReply
114hrs
PulkitChandraWriteratSlipOfTheThumb
Thedisparityinthesexratioandthelackofcourtseyanddecency(noteveryone)in
Indiabeatsthatweeverwillreachthatstagewherewomenwillnothavetodemand
seatsintrains.
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