Reflection

I chose to ignore the comment Yosra wrote regarding incorporat[ing] more of [my] own ideas that
form from these sources based on the format of my research paper. It is a report and then a formulated
idea. I as the writer and designer could not find a way to incorporate my building earlier in the paper and
that is what my own thoughts are about. I particularly enjoyed reading Yosras about the simulator making
people aware of the intensity of your topic. The comment shows that the objective of my building was
met. It is suppose to touch hearts and also provoke thoughts so this made me realize the pitch was a
success.Both Jaycie and Yosra recommend rewording specific sentences which I have done so
accordingly in order so make the paper easier to read. I chose to ignore the last part of the comment in
which Jaycie asked me to reword a specific sentence but decided to focus on condensing sentences into
one while still being grammatically correct as she suggested by saying So far I really like your intro,
however your sentences are fragments.
Jaycie commented on the same paragraph twice about how my subjects were not clear. I edited
the paragraph based on her feedback by omitting one sentence and revising another.I chose to revise this
paragraph based on this commentary Josh provided by requesting that I explain why she will
encompass many different nationalities as it is very important for the ideals behind the hologram to be
understood. The hologram completes the buildings intentions.Josh posted two similar comments
requesting that I explain why some of these things or happening, and elaborate about the emotional
aspects?I am choosing to ignore these comments on the basis of objectivity. If i were to explain the
desired emotions my building is to evoke it could reveal bias. My goal is to bring humanity to the table
through the hologram not to force any specific emotion other than to make people wonder and think.I am
appreciative of the comment Josh made saying that I follow [my] argument and the overall goal being
explained well because it means that the points Ive been stressing are clear. Upon my professors
request I have corrected my citations and spacing as well as creating headers to separate my thoughts in
my report.
I found this paper to be especially helpful with understanding rhetorical knowledge and how to
incorporate it into your paper. I had to figure out how exactly to address my audience based on my
propositional structure that was my summary of information. I debated on whether to leave out 2nd
person but decided to embrace it as it can only assist my project in becoming more personal. This also
emphasized a writers knowledge of conventions because of the way I found acceptable to address my
readers. Making the connection of using 2nd person to make it more personal allowed for an easier
writing process and a fluid read. Overall I really appreciate the directions this assignment has taken and
enjoy working on this project.