Sooner or later we must realize there is no station, no one place to arrive at once and

for all. The true joy of life is the trip

Robert J. Hastings

The Carpenter
An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer/contractor of his plans
to leave the house building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife
enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire.
They could get by.
The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just
one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to
see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used
inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career.
When the carpenter finished his work and the builder came to inspect the house, the
contractor handed the front-door key to the carpenter. "This is your house," he said,
"my gift to you."
What a shock! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house,
he would have done it all so differently. Now he had to live in the home he had built
none too well.
So it is with us. We build our lives in a distracted way, reacting rather than acting,
willing to put up less than the best. At important points we do not give the job our best
effort. Then with a shock we look at the situation we have created and find that we are
now living in the house we have built. If we had realized, we would have done it
differently.
Think of yourself as the carpenter. Think about your house. Each day you hammer a
nail, place a board, or erect a wall. Build wisely. It is the only life you will ever build.
Even if you live it for only one day more, that day deserves to be lived graciously and
with dignity. The plaque on the wall says, "Life is a do-it-yourself project."
Who could say it more clearly? Your life today is the result of your attitudes and
choices in the past. Your life tomorrow will be the result of your attitudes and the
choices you make today.
Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light
Jennie Jerome Churchill

The Star Fish Story

'It made a difference for that one'
Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his
writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.
One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a
human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone
who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.
As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he
was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore,
picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.
He came closer still and called out 'Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are
doing?'
The young man paused, looked up, and replied 'Throwing starfish into the ocean.'
'I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?' asked the somewhat
startled wise man.
To this, the young man replied, 'The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't
throw them in, they'll die.'
Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, 'But, young man, do you not realize that
there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You
can't possibly make a difference!'
At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the
ocean. As it met the water, he said, 'It made a difference for that one.'
So, can I encourage you to take the time to do something that will make difference to
someone else's life ... and it doesn't have to be much and they don't need to know. Just
take a moment, do something special ... the universe will know and that's enough.

I have a choice about today

I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes midnight. I
have responsibilities to fulfill today and I am important. My job is to choose what
kind of day I am going to have.
Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that the grass
is getting watered for free.
Today I can feel sad that I don't have more money or I can be glad that my finances
encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.
Today I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that I am alive.

Today I can lament over all that my parents didn't give me when I was growing up or I
can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.
Today I can cry because roses have thorns or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.
Today I can mourn my lack of friends or I can excitedly embark upon a quest to
discover new relationships.
Today I can whine because I have to go to work or I can shout for joy because I have
a job to do.
Today I can complain because I have to go to school oreagerly open my mind and fill
it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.
Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or I can appreciate
that I have a place to call home.
Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who
gets to do the shaping.
What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have!
Have a GREAT DAY ... unless you have other plans and please remember, a
'Smile' will make the days go better.
A New Ending
No one can go back and make a brand new start. Anyone can start from now and
make a brand new ending.
There isn't promise of days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain,
but can promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.
Disappointments are like road bumps, they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the
smooth road afterwards. Don't stay on the bumps too long. Move on! When you feel
down because you didn't get what you want, just sit tight, and be happy.
There's a purpose to life's events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too
hard. You can't make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be
loved, and the rest is up to the person to realize your worth. It's better to lose your
pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride. We spend
too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we
already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give.
Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one who can take his place.
Friendship is like wine, it gets better as it grows older.

Shiv Kheras YOU CAN WIN

During the past few years the market has been flooded with the works of many
management gurus, out of which many proved to be cut-copy twisters.
Of late I attended a management program and there the faculties strongly
recommended Shiv Kheras book You Can Win.
The book has interesting narrative with easily understandable and lucid language. And
many true to life instances have been included in the book. And the best thing about
the book is ,it speaks about the ACTION PLAN and its actual implementation in the
life.
The best thing about the approach of the author is Most people fail not
because of lack of ability or intelligence but because of lack of
desire, direction, dedication, and discipline. Instead of emphasizing on
the learning of managerial theories and the book talks of application of the managerial
skills.

I have tried to give a few lines fromhis book, a little summation of his ideas fromthe
book. And I am sure you would enjoy reading it and hope I do justice to his writing.
Though I am only a small blogger and cannot make up to his standards, but I was so
much influenced by his work, that I am almost compelled by my heart to make a write
from the book.
Chapter wise synopses of the book is as follows :Chapter 1 IMPORTANCE OF ATTITUDE
Building a positive attitude .
The great story included herein by Shive Khera is :
There was a man who made a living selling balloons at a fair. He had all colors of
balloons, including red, yellow, blue, and green. Whenever business was slow, he
would release a helium-filled balloon into the air and when the children saw it go up,
they all wanted to buy one. They would come up to him, buy a balloon, and his sales
would go up again. He continued this process all day. One day, he felt someone
tugging at his jacket.
He turned around and saw a little boy who asked, "If you release a black balloon,
would
that also fly?" Moved by the boy's concern, the man replied with empathy, "Son, it is
not
the color of the balloon, it is what is inside that makes it go up."
The same thing applies to our lives. It is what is inside that counts. The thing inside of
us that makes us go up is our attitude.
William James of Harvard University said, "The greatest

discovery of my
generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering
their attitudes of mind."

As mentioned in Jerry Johnson's book It's Killing Our Kids, p. xvi.

WINNERS VERSUS LOSERS

.............
The Winner is always part of the answer;
The Loser is always part of the problem.
The Winner always has a program;
The Loser always has an excuse.
The Winner says, "Let me do it for you";
The Loser says, "That is not my job."
The Winner sees an answer for every problem;
The Loser sees a problem for every answer.
The Winner says, "It may be difficult but it is possible";
The Loser says, "It may be possible but it is too difficult."
When a Winner makes a mistake, he says, "I was wrong";
When a Loser makes a mistake, he says, "It wasn't my fault."
A Winner makes commitments;
A Loser makes promises.
Winners have dreams;
Losers have schemes.
Winners say, "I must do something";
Losers say, "Something must be done."
Winners are a part of the team;
Losers are apart from the team.
Winners see the gain;
Losers see the pain.
Winners see possibilities;
Losers see problems.
Winners believe in win-win;
Losers believe for them to win someone has to lose.
........
Winners see the potential;
Losers see the past.
Winners are like a thermostat;
Losers are like thermometers.
Winners choose what they say;
Losers say what they choose.
Winners use hard arguments but soft words;
Losers use soft arguments but hard words.
Winners stand firm on values but compromise on petty things;
Losers stand firm on petty things but compromise on values.

Winners follow the philosophy of empathy: "Don't do to others what you

would not
want them to do to you";
Losers follow the philosophy, "Do it to others before they do it to you."
Winners make it happen;
Losers let it happen.
Winners plan and prepare to win.
The key wordis preparation.
Chapter 2 SUCCESS
Winning strategies
Most crackpots keep waiting for a jackpot. But can that bring success?
. The uncommon man seeks opportunity, whereas the common man
seeks security . We need to keep our minds on what we want, not on
what we don't want.
Existence alone is not success! It is a lot more!
Do more than exist -- live
Do more than touch -- feel
Do more than look -- observe
Do more than read -- absorb
Do more than hear -- listen
Do more than listen -- understand
John H. Rhodes
Successful people are not ten times smarter than the people who fail. They may
be better by a nose, but the rewards are ten times bigger.
We don't need to improve 1,000% in any one area. All we need is to improve 1% in
1,000 different areas, which is a lot easier. That is the winning edge!
Man, of all creatures, is physically the most ill equipped in this world. He cannot fly
like a
bird, can be killed by a tiny insect, cannot outrun a leopard, cannot swim like an
alligator, cannot climb the tree like a monkey, doesn't have the eye of an eagle, nor
does he have the claws and teeth of a wild cat. Physically, man is helpless and
defenseless.
But nature is reasonable and kind. Nature's greatest gift to man is
the ability to think . He
can create his own environment, whereas animals adapt to their
environment .
Sadly, very few people use the greatest gift the ability to think to its full potential.
It takes both rain and sunshine to create a rainbow. Our lives are no different.
There is happiness and sorrow. There is the good and the bad ; dark and bright spots.
If we can handle adversity, it only strengthens us. We cannot control all the events that
happen in our lives, but we can control how we deal with them.

Richard Blechnyden wanted to promote Indian tea at the St. Louis World fair in 1904.
It
was very hot and no one wanted to sample his tea. Blechnyden saw that all the other
iced drinks were doing flourishing business. It dawned on him to make his tea into an
iced drink, mix in sugar and sell it. He did and people loved it. That was the
introduction
of iced tea to the world.
A CRASH COURSE FOR SUCCESS

.........

Play to win and not to lose.

Learn from other people's mistakes.
Associate with people of high moral character.
Give more than you get.
Don't look for something for nothing.
Always think long term.
Evaluate your strengths and build on them.
Always keep the larger picture in mind when making a decision.
Never compromise your integrity.

Chapter 3 MOTIVATION
Motivating yourself and others every day
Inspiration is changing thinking; motivation is changing action
Auto suggestions are positive statements made in the present tense
and repeated regularly. In other words it is positive self-talk .
A few steps to motivate others:
Give recognition
Give respect
Make work interesting
Be a good listener
Throw a challenge
Help but don't do for others what they should do for themselves
People do things for their own reasons, not yours. This is illustrated by a story about
Ralph Waldo Emerson. He and his son once were struggling to get a calf into the
barn.
Both father and son were exhausted, pulling and pushing. A little girl was passing by
and she sweetly put her little finger into the calf's mouth and the calf lovingly
followed her to the barn.
ACTION PLAN
1. Develop a sense of pride through training.
2. Reward performance.
3. Set well-defined, clear goals.
4. Set high expectations.
5. Set clear, measurable benchmarks.

6. Evaluate the needs of others.

7. Make others part of your big picture. Set a good example by being a positive role
model.
8.Build the self-esteem of others.

Chapter 4 SELF-ESTEEM
Building positive self-esteem and image
Some characteristics of people with:
High Self-Esteem
Low Self-Esteem
Talk about ideas
Talk about people
Caring attitude
Critical attitude
Humility
Arrogance
Respects authority
Rebels against authority
Courage of conviction
Goes along to get along
Confidence
Confusion
Concerned about character Concerned about reputation
Assertive
Aggressive
Accepts responsibility
Blames the whole world
Self-interest
Selfish
Optimistic
Fatalistic
Understanding
Greedy
Willing to learn
Know it all
Sensitive
Touchy
Solitude
Discuss
Believes in self-worth
Guided
Discipline
Internally driven
Respects others
Enjoys decency
Knows limit
Giver

Lonely
Argue
Believes in net worth only
Misguided
Distorted sense of freedom
Externally driven
Looks down on others
Enjoys vulgarity
Everything goes
Taker

Positive Self-Esteem Negative Self-Esteem

1. self-respect
self-put down
2. self-confidence
self-doubt
3. self-worth
self-abuse
4. self-acceptance
self-denial
5. self-love
self-centered Ness
6. self-knowledge
self-deceit
7. self-discipline
self-indulgence
BUILDING CONFIDENCE

A young couple used to leave their daughter at a day-care center every day before
going to work. As they parted company, the parents and child kissed each other's
hands and then put the kisses in their pockets. All during the day when the little girl
got lonely she would take out a kiss and put it on her cheek. This little routine made
them feel together even though they were physically apart. What a wonderful thought.
What Makes a Child a Delinquent?
. Teach him to put a price tag on everything and he will put his
integrity for sale.
. Teach him never to take a stand and then he will fall for anything.
** From The Moral Compass, edited by William J. Bermett, Simon 8~ Schuster, New
York, 1995, pp. 52~24.
ACTION PLAN
1. Read life stories of people who have turned negatives into positives. Make reading
Good books or listening to inspirational audio tapes part of your daily routine.
2. Regularly and systematically commit a portion of your time and/or money to
charitable activity without any expectations in cash or kind.
3. Stay away from negative influences. Don't give into peer pressure.
4. Practice giving and receiving sincere compliments graciously.
5. Start accepting responsibility for your behavior and actions.
6. Practice self-discipline even when it is not comfortable.
7. Associate with people of high moral character.
8. Be creative and find ways to turn your weaknesses into strengths.
9. Practice patience; persevere even if the results are not visible.

Chapter 5
INTERPERSONAL SKILLS
Building a pleasing personality
One Should Have an Open Mind Rather Than an Empty Mind
One day, a ten-year-old boy went to an ice cream shop, sat at a table and asked the
waitress, "How much is an ice-cream cone?" She said, "seventy-five cents." The boy
started counting the coins he had in his hand. Then he asked how much a small cup of
ice-cream was. The waitress impatiently replied, "sixty five cents." The boy said, "I
will
have the small ice-cream cup." He had his ice-cream, paid the bill and left. When the
waitress came to pick up the empty plate, she was touched. Underneath were ten
onecent coins as tip. The little boy had consideration for the waitress before he
ordered his ice-crearn. He showed sensitivity and caring. He thought of others before
himself
1. Be open-minded.
2. Don't be dragged into an argument.
3. Don't interrupt.
4. Listen to the other person's point of view before giving your own.
4. Ask questions to clarify. That will also set the other person thinking.
5. Don't exaggerate.
7. Be enthusiastic in convincing, not forceful.
8. Be willing to yield.

9. Be flexible on petty things but not on principles.

10. Don't make it a prestige issue.
11. Give your opponent a graceful way to withdraw without hurting his pride.
Rejection
can be hurtful.
12. Use soft words but hard arguments rather than hard words & soft arguments .
It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in an argument. His strong and bitter words
only indicate a , weak cause.
During a discussion, it may be a good idea to use phrases such as:
It appears to me ...
I may be wrong ...
Another way to defuse arguments is by showing ignorance and asking questions such
as:
Why do you feel that way?
Can you explain a little?
Can you be more specific?
If nothing works, it may be worthwhile to politely, gently, and with courtesy, agree to
disagree.
Chapter 6
SUBCONSCIOUS MIND AND HABITS
Forming positive habits and character
THE GIGO PRINCIPLE
The computer phrase GIGO (garbage in, garbage out) is very sound.
Negativity in; negativity out.
Positivity in; positivity out.
Good in; good out
Our input equals our output. Our subconscious mind does not discriminate. Whatever
we choose to put into our subconscious mind it will accept and our behavior will
reflect that accordingly.
Prepare the Subsconscious
How can we use auto-suggestions to eliminate negative habits and develop positive
ones? We have all used auto-suggestions unconsciously. For example, when you have
to catch an early morning flight, you automatically tell yourself that you have got to
get
up. And invariably, you do (sometimes, even without an alarm clock). A prepared
subconscious mind has hunches and gut feelings.
Auto-suggestion is a way to program and condition our mind to make a statement into
a
self-fulfilling prophecy.
Auto-suggestion is a repetitive process through which we feed our subconscious with
positive statements which translate into reality. Repetition alone is not enough, unless
it
is accompanied by emotions and feelings.
Auto-suggestions without visualization will not produce results
Chapter 7

GOAL-SETTING
Setting and achieving your goals
KEEP YOUR EYES UPON THE GOAL
On July 4, 1952, Florence Chadwick was on her way to becoming the first woman to
swim the Catalina Channel. She had already conquered the English Channel. The
world was watching. Chadwick fought the dense fog, bone-chilling cold and many
times, the sharks. She was striving to reach the shore but every time she looked
through her goggles, all she could see was the dense fog. Unable to see the shore, she
gave up.
Chadwick was disappointed when she found out that she was only half a mile from the
coast. She quit, not because she was a quitter but because her goal was not in sight
anywhere. The elements didn't stop her. She said, "I'm not making excuses. If only I
had seen the land, I could have made it."
Two months later, she went back and swam the Catalina Channel. This time, in spite
of the bad weather, she had her goal in mind and not only accomplished it but beat
the men's record by two hours.
Why are Goals Important?
On the best sunny day, the most powerful magnifying glass will not light paper if you
keep moving the glass. But if you focus and hold it, the paper will light up. That is the
power of concentration.
A man was traveling and stopped at an intersection. He asked an elderly man,
"Where
does this road take me?" The elderly person asked, "Where do you want to go?" The
man replied, "I don't know." The elderly person said, "Then take any road. What
difference does it make?"
How true. When we don't know where we are going, any road will take us there.
Supposing you have the football eleven enthusiastically ready to play the game, all
charged up, and then someone took the goal post away. What would happen to the
game? There is nothing left. How do you keep score? How do you know you have
arrived? Enthusiasm without direction is like wildfire and leads to frustration. Goals
give a sense of direction.
ACTION PLAN
1. Make definite goals.
2. Write them down.
3. Read your goals twice a day, morning and night.
4. Make goals slightly out of reach but not out of sight.
5. Check your progress periodically.

Chapter 8
VALUES AND VISION Doing the right thing for the right reason
No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for
what
he gave.
--Calvin Coolidge

Commitment implies:
1. Dependability
2. Reliability
3. Predictability
4. Consistency
5. Caring
6. Empathy
7. A sense of duty
8. Sincerity
9. Character
10. Integrity
11. Loyalty
Values and ethics are not just designed for good times, but also to prevent bad times.
THREE INSPIRATIONAL WINNERS
1. Olympics is a lifetime event. Lawrence Lemieux stopped racing in a yacht race to
help a fellow competitor who was in trouble. The whole world was watching. His
priority of safety for other people's lives was greater than his desire to win. Even
though he did
not win the race, he was a winner. He was honored by kings and queens all over the
world because he kept the spirit of the Olympics alive.
2. I heard the story about Reuben Gonzales when he was in the final match of the
racquetball tournament. This was an important event and he was playing for the
world
title. In the final game at match point, Gonzales played a super shot to save point.
The
referee and the linesman both confirmed that the shot was good and he was declared
the winner. But Gonzales, after a little pause and hesitation, turned back to shake his
opponent's hand and said, "The shot was faulty." As a result, he lost the serve and
eventually, lost the match.
Everyone was stunned. Who could imagine that a player with everything officially in
his favor, with winning in his pocket, would disqualify himself and lose. When asked
why he did it, Gonzales replied, "It was the only thing to do in order to maintain my
integrity." He lost the match, yet he was a winner.
3. A group of salespeople left town for a meeting and told their families they would be
back home Friday evening for supper. But as with meetings the way they are, one
thing leads to another and they didn't finish on time. They were delayed and had to
catch a flight. They came to the airport just at the last minute, with tickets in hand,
and
ran, hoping the plane hadn't departed. While running, one of them hit a table and on
the table was a fruit basket. All the fruit got scattered and bruised but they didn't have
time to stop. They kept running and made it to the plane and all of them breathed a
sigh of relief that they had made it, except one. He got in touch with his feelings, got
up, said good-bye to his friends and went. What he saw made him glad that he came

out. He went to the table that was knocked down and behind the table was a ten-year
old blind girl who was selling the fruits to make a living. He said, "I hope we haven't
ruined your day." He pulled out $10 from his pocket, handed it to her and said, "This
will take care of the fruits," and he left. The girl couldn't see what was going on; all
she
could hear was the footsteps leaving. As the footsteps faded away, she shouted from
behind, "Are you God?" He missed his flight but was he a winner? You bet. One can
be a winner without a medal and one can be a loser with a medal if winning is not
kept
in perspective.
WINNING IS AN EVENT; BEING A WINNER IS A SPIRIT
VISION
Why don't people achieve excellence? The big reason is the lack of vision or limited
vision. We need to dream beyond what is possible. Everything that we see today was a
dream before it became reality. Live with enthusiasm, direction and with a sense of
purpose. Do you have a dream? What is your dream? Every day that you live, are you
getting closer to your purpose? Get your advice from successful people and not from
living failures who will tell you how to succeed.
Where the vision is one year, cultivate flowers.
Where the vision is ten years, cultivate trees.
Where the vision is eternity, cultivate people.
Oriental saying
Remember, winners don't do different things, they do things differently!

A Story for all

A water bearer in China had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a
pole which he carried across his neck.. One of the pots had a crack in it,
while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of
water.
At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot
arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only
one and a half pots full of water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot
was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made.
But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and
miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been
made to do.

After 2 years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the

water bearer one day by the stream.
"I am ashamed of myself, and because this crack in my side causes water
to leak out all the way back to your house." The bearer said to the pot,
"Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path,
but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about
your flaw, and I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every
day while we walk back, you've watered them. For two years I have been
able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you
being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the
house"
Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots.
But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so
very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for
what they are, and look for the good in them.
Regards to all my crackpot friends including myself!!!!!!!!!!
Attitude changes everything
Poison
A long time ago, a girl named Li-Li got married and went to live with her
husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Li-Li found that she
couldn't get along with her mother-in-law at all. Their personalities were
very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law's habits.
In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.
Days passed days, and weeks passed weeks. Li-Li and her mother-in-law
never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse
was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her
mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the
house was causing the poor husband great distess.
Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and
dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it.
Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs. She
told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that
she could solve the problem once and for all. Mr. Huang thought for awhile,
and finally said, Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen
to me and obey what I tell you. Li-Li said, "Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do
whatever you tell me to do." Mr. Huang went into the back room, and

returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, "You can't
use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that
would cause people to become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a
number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day
prepare some pork or chicken and put a little of these herbs in her serving.
Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspects you when she dies, you
must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. Don't argue with her,
obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen." Li-Li was so happy. She
thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her
mother-in-law.
Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the
specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr.
Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper,
obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother. After six
months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practiced
controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got
mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument in six months with her mother-inlaw, who now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.
The mother-in-law's attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love LiLi like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was
the best daughter-in-law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law
were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter. Li-Li's
husband was very happy to see what was happening.
One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again. She said,
"Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my motherin-law! She's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own
mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her." Mr. Huang
smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li, there's nothing to worry about. I never
gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her
health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but
that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her."
Attitude
Jerry is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and
always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he
was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed
him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed
Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an
employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how
to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and
asked him, I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How
do you do it?" Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself,
Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or
you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood. Each
time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to
learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me
complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the
positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.
"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested. "Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all
about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice.
You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect
your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line:
It's your choice how you live life."
I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry
to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when
I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it. Several years later, I
heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in the
restaurant business...he left the back door open one morning and was held
up at gun point by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his
hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers
panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and
rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of
intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the
bullets still in his body.
I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he
was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?" I
declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind
as the robbery took place. "The first thing that went through my mind was
that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the
floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or I could
choose to die. I chose to live."
"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked. Jerry continued,
"...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine.
But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the
faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's
a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action." "What did you do?" I asked.
"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She
asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes' I replied. The doctors and nurses
stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and
yelled, 'BULLETS!'
Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I
am alive, not dead'." Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also
because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have
the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

A chance to Start over

It was a cold December night in West Orange, New Jersey. Thomas Edison's
factory was humming with activity. Work was proceeding on a variety of
fronts as the great inventor was trying to turn more of his dreams into
practical realities. Edison's plant, made of concrete and steel, was deemed
"fireproof". As you may have already guessed, it wasn't!
On that frigid night in 1914, the sky was lit up by a sensational blaze that
had burst through the plant roof. Edison's 24-year-old son, Charles, made a
frenzied search for his famous inventor-father. When he finally found him,
he was watching the fire. His white hair was blowing in the wind. His face
was illuminated by the leaping flames. "My heart ached for him," said
Charles. "Here he was, 67 years old, and everything he had worked for was
going up in flames. When he saw me, he shouted, 'Charles! Where's your
mother?' When I told him I didn't know, he said, 'Find her! Bring her here!
She'll never see anything like this as long as she lives.'"
Next morning, Mr. Edison looked at the ruins of his factory and said this of
his loss: "There's value in disaster. All our mistakes are burned up. Thank
God, we can start anew."
What a wonderful perspective on things that seem at first to be so
disastrous. A business failure, divorce, personal dream gone sour . . .
whether these things destroy an individual depends largely on the attitude
he or she takes toward them. Sort out why it happened, and learn
something from the blunders. Think of different approaches that can be
taken.
Start over.
How Poor we are!
One day a father and his rich family took his son to a trip to the country
with the firm purpose to show him how poor people can be.
They spent a day and a night in the farm of a very poor family. When they
got back from their trip the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
"Very good Dad!" "Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked.
"Yeah!"
"And what did you learn?"

The son answered, "I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden, they have a creek
that has no end. We have imported lamps in the garden, they have the
stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard, they have a whole horizon." When
the little boy was finishing, his father was speechless.
His son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are!"
Hospital Windows
Be always optimistic. Take in good things. Thinking of good makes you good.
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man
was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain
the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window.
The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked
for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes,
their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had
been on vacation.
And every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit
up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things
he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live
for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and
enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans
played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers
walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand
old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could
be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man
on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the
picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing
by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it in his
mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive
words. Days and weeks passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to
find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully
in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take
the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if
he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make
the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him
alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first
look at the world outside. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it for
himself.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It
faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled

his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside
this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not
even see the wall.
She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."
Moral of the story:
The pursuit of happiness is a matter of choice...it is a positive attitude we
consciously choose to express. It is not a gift that gets delivered to our
doorstep each morning, nor does it come through the window. And I am
certain that our circumstances are just a small part of what makes us
joyful. If we wait for them to get just right, we will never find lasting joy.
The pursuit of happiness is an inward journey. Our minds are like
programs, awaiting the code that will determine behaviors; like bank
vaults awaiting our deposits. If we regularly deposit positive, encouraging,
and uplifting thoughts, if we continue to bite our lips just before we begin
to grumble and complain, if we shoot down that seemingly harmless
negative thought as it germinates, we will find that there is much to
rejoice about.

HOW MANY POINTS WOULD YOU SCORE?

by Catherine Pulsifer
Positive Attitude counts a lot
We sat around the table trying to decide who was the best candidate for the
job. Mary felt Sam should get the job. "Just look at his education," she said
to Mark and I. "Based on his resume, he has the knowledge to do the job".
"But Mary look at Ellen. Her references said she is a hard worker, and, from
the interview, you could tell she works hard. That is what we need here.
Someone who is not afraid of a lot of work," exclaimed Mark.
I sat and listened to Mark and Mary debate over who was the best candidate
for the job. Then they turned to me and said, "What do you think Kate? Is it
knowledge or is it a hard worker we need for this job?"
"Both are important but there is one thing you are both missing," I said.
They both looked at me like I was crazy. I explained by saying, "Knowledge is
certainly important, but knowledge can be learned. And working hard is
important. But if a person just works hard but they fail to see things that
could be improved or fail to see a smarter way to work rather than just
working and working, than that won't help us."
I could tell by the look on their faces that they wished they had not asked
me to sit on this interview. We had been interviewing for 3 days now and
they had narrowed it down to the two candidates that we were discussing.
Now, here I am saying that it was neither of these candidates!

"I think Ruth would be the best candidate for the job." They looked at each
other, but I held up my hand in protest and said, "Hear me out before you
say anything. My reason for picking Ruth is because of her attitude."
"Attitude", both Mary and Mark said at the same time! "Yes, attitude," I
replied.
"Let me explain. Ruth has good education credentials, and I agree that her
credentials are not as good as Sam's. And Ruth's answers to the interview
questions showed she would look for ways to improve how she performs a
job rather than just working and working. The one thing that impressed me
the most was her attitude. From the reference checks, it confirms that she
has a positive attitude and influences those around her. We need someone
who can look at how and what we are doing, someone who will question the
why and someone who will look for solutions."
I could see that Mark agreed with my thinking, but Mary was still impressed
with Sam's education. "Mary, you can teach anyone the theory, but you can
not teach someone the right attitude." Mary sat for a minute and thought
about this. Finally, she replied, "You know Kate listening to you reminds me
of my grandmother. She once showed me something that I had forgotten
about. As you were talking, it flashed in my mind. Let me share my
grandmothers way of thinking with you."
She stood up and went to the flipchart, and start writing the alphabet. Mark
and I exchanged looks but let Mary continue.
She explained, "If you numbered the alphabet it would look like this."
She then proceeded to write on the flip chart,
A...B...C...D...E...F...G...H...I...J..K..L.M.....N....O
1...2...3...4...5.6....7....8...9...10...11..12. 13...14...15
P....Q....R....S....T.....U....V....W....X....Y....Z
16..17.18...19...20...21...22...23...24...25...26
She continued to write on the flip chart:
K = 11
N = 14
O = 15
W = 23
L = 12
E=5
D=4
G=7
E=5
Total 96 points

H=8
A=1
R = 18
D=4
W = 23
O = 15
R = 18
K = 11
Total 98 points
A=1
T = 20
T = 20
I=9
T = 20
U = 21
D=4
E=5
Total 100 points
I was surprised when she was finished. I had never seen this done before. I
suddenly realized I no longer had to explain to Mary the importance of
attitude; her grandmother had done that for me. We all laughed and all
agreed that Ruth was the successful candidate for the job!
You can work hard, you can have excellent educational credentials, but
how many points would your attitude score?

The very old lady story (positive attitude)

A very old lady looked in the mirror one morning. She had three remaining
hairs on her head, and being a positive soul, she said, "I think I'll braid my
hair today." So she braided her three hairs, and she had a great day.
Some days later, looking in the mirror one morning, preparing for her day,
she saw that she had only two hairs remaining. "Hmm, two hairs... I fancy a
centre parting today." She duly parted her two hairs, and as ever, she had a
great day.
A week or so later, she saw that she had just one hair left on her head. "One
hair huh...," she mused, "I know, a pony-tail will be perfect." And again she
had a great day.
The next morning she looked in the mirror. She was completely bald.
"Finally bald huh," she said to herself, "How wonderful! I won't have to
waste time doing my hair any more.."