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elaborate. As a result, I have made my intro more interesting. This way I can catch the attention
of my readers. Also, the conclusion has been modified so that I dont repeat myself. I have also
made it more engaging so the reader do not have to reread a summary of the essay. In my
previous essay, my essay was all over the place with different topics and passions. For example
I am passionate about three things specifically, these things include friends, family and sports.
This was in my first draft and it shows how my essay did not elaborate on one thing. Rather it
was covering many different topics, without specific examples that support the topics.
Multi-Genre Essay
The purpose of my essay was to inform the general audience about the pros and cons of the
implementation of the robotics in factories settings. I have set it up into a way, where the essay is
formatted into three articles that discuss the topic from three different viewpoints. These three
viewpoints will give the audience reading my essay all the facts and opinions of the topic. My
essay is mainly written for avid tech enthusiasts who are aware of the advantages and
disadvantages of implementing robotic technology. The audience would already have prior
interest in manufacturing robots and the effects of the integration of robots into factories. They
need to read my essay because not only do I discuss the many advantages of opening up factories
to the use of the robots. I write an article of the protests of a minimum wage workers, who did
not like the implementation because it would make the workers to lose their jobs to a piece of
metal. In addition, I wrote a passage in the form of a memo to the employees of an insurance
worker, so it would show how the companies will lose money to the robots because there is less
risk in the investments of robots, which is bad for insurance who depend on insurances that
include workers compensation and liability insurance. I will reach them by posting these articles
and magazines, which will catch the attention of a specific group of people. It is important
because people need to know all the information of the new technology being implemented into
their local factories and the overall effect of the implementation of new technology.
Three-Column Bibliography
The three-column bibliography was very helpful for my writing process because it has helped me
develop my research skills. The bibliography helped me discover more about the topic and it has
helped discover new topics about my research. The bibliography has also helped me analyze
many sources. The three column bibliography has helped me organize all the information given
from the sources. It has also made the research process much easier because rather than referring
to the source and then rewording the source to make an essay. I can now use the three columns,
to directly quote from. As a result, the bibliography has helped me develop my ideas into a well
thought-out essay.
Feedback Artifacts
Peer-Review
The small-group peer has helped me receive more insight in my writing. Also, the comments
have helped me improve the essay. The exploratory essay has also improved because of the peer
reviews. Also, my peer group has made the right steps to help improve each others writing. I
have become more comfortable with reading and critiquing each other essays because I know
that I am helping the writer by telling what they thought about the essay from a readers point-ofview. I became more open with our editing and we tell each other what is needed to improve the
overall writing. Some things we need to improve are the specifics. We need to improve on
focusing on the details. For example, focusing on grammatical errors and the overall flow of the
essay will help me improve my writing even further. The experience will help me become a
better group member because I will not be as shy. I also have realized just because I point out
ones mistake doesnt mean I am hurting their feelings. I am actually improving their writing by
pointing out the mistakes and errors so the writer can realize their tendencies and errors.
Final Review
I believe that I deserve a C because I have done most of the work that was given to me in class
and I have done a proficient amount of work to show that I deserve this grade. I also have done
many of the drafts and have brought on time. I also have spent a lot of time on the overall look
of my e-portfolio and the design of the portfolio.
Dear Reader,
My FPE is not fully completed it. My essay currently has three artifacts, however I am working
on 4 other artifacts at the moment. But, I am not fully satisfied with the other four artifacts, so I
am looking to improve it and further my evaluation.
For the Exploratory Essay, I think you should try to include a lot more quotes in your
explanation. I would also writing about the progressions of your drafts. In addition to adding the
other artifacts, I just wanted to remind you to include three of the key concepts and your thoughts
on the grade you think you should receive.
I feel like even though you stated your artifacts arent all the way done and input at this point,
this draft could have been father along. I say this because I did most of my paper without doing
any of my artifacts yet. Also, apart from the artifacts, be sure to include how you have not only
grown as an overall writer, but also how you have done so through each piece. I like how you are
organizing it so far and putting everything about that piece under one header. As stated above,
also add what grade you would deserve.