I A M N O T A L L I N G U I S E

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Interview with a Zombie*

by G.F.Arbuckle

Publisher(E)es note:

This following transcript was created upon a finding un-turned in the Archives off the East Detroit
Commissioner’s Depository for Western Disposed-Knowledge (and post-its discovery renamed the
Centre for Early 21st-Century Education and Realginating Accreditation) within the past Season by
one Edmund Blacke, A.R.S.T.L. (Amerikas-Certified Systems and Technical Libraren), presently retired
[Publi(2)woers’ note: Now deceased.] after conducting re-search into the socio-bio-political conditions
off post-millennial Continent (2)wo by the accords off his Reserch Contrak as per his Carrer Rekriment
to complete, and transcribd by Fellow Nigel Gedswarth via the re-cently pre-uset “tape-rekordid” or
looped real technology as pursued and mastarde by women off MacroSystemz Tlp. under an
intranational gift off granted monies issued by the Earth-Fund Capital’s Funds Unertion Committee
overseen and disl-emlinatined by one former Senior Fellow and now allured Vice-Preterite K-Tt
Talingstoun as off a number off Seasons previous to this following “recording”-transcripton covery and
creait on.

Our guess is as good as yours.

Full transcripton:

[Editor(e)s note: a-I have pursued the most rites in spelling and lexicon as is the standard by oh-Net(e)s (Newest) “Classical
English off </= ^AD-’43^” Source Iditioion in it s Sekt(on) -pon Memetec Re-alities Recording. Which text is devoted to
“zombie”(E)es speek/s is under enquire by those off 2nd-hand Emersion in Icelic-Sedee regions of the Fields. A further iditioion
will no dout erate all aluf(e)E.]

G. F. A.

Is this, yes? Okay. Om, thanks. Okay. As G. F. Arbuckle for

Station Kilargo aI’m here now approaching at the nexus site or
ground zero of that imexplicable chaos weave been receiving
news of only sporadic and entirely conflicting reports from. Of
the content datum weave received from sources whome we trust

*
To be wholly candid, several zombies. The term “zombie” is the suitable, my editor assures me. At this juncture, my view on
them is colored by my limited though broader than most people experience as established by this recording. Two (2) hours into
the initial reports of violence in this area, I ventured to record with the help of my technician any information I could glean from
both participants and victims willing to speak. My frustration was twofold: first that these “zombies” have a limited attention to
any usual reciprocal conversation and second that these findings provided only a tableau of evidenced incidents. My hope is to
have this recording transcribed and filed in a report to be sent to major news’ outlets and broadcast stations in both a/v and
written form. This brief note and title should sketch the outline for you, the transcription management head (is it Philips today?),
to input content for the purpose of a more informative, accumulated-knowledge product. My own task, a moral one and one I
believe will provide a humanitarian proactive element to subsequent reports, I believe, is to return to the site that may have
since broadened and assist with the recovery effort. By my station manager’s best estimate, the violence as recorded near the
end of my reporting segment should have either quelled completely or moved on to a wider diameter of the downtown area.
Further reports will be incoming and filed here or at sister stations. Release this information.
only this much only is knowne: humans in this area, a
metropolitant upper-middle middle-classed ermmurban cum unity;
have being reporting and then strangly ko-miting acts of
unspeakable and in aritlce youle vilence, consisting of biteens
and humantwohuman ravisgings.

[,,,]2

We will now as aI draw close are to attempt to convurse or

dyelog with one of these apparantly violent ohluters or muggurs
we mite call them tobe . My camera3 has been sheshed in iron as
as you can tell my self has two being. Cumbersome yet safe and
pay 4d by our loco [,,,].4

And, watch, yeah, watch: yeah, om. Okay. This ah-Huh.

This, are we, yes. This man heerah is some it looks to be kind
of ofishal or a postle workur jutging by his wniform and sachel.
Sir. Sir, may we ask you some cwestuns or at the very leest
ackrue your opine-on thees hapeninggs.

Sir

Grrahmurr. Jd, mah.5

G. F. A.

Welle, Sir, please wait another minute and do not, yes, please:
thank you. We at the Station are eger to know your view and heer
of your involvement with these hapeninggs. Do you feel this
chaos, em(im)explicable chaos, is a result of perhaps racial or
socio-economic st[r]6atam and it s dis-array en re enacting
itself here at this loco mid-[?]7 ?

2
Eydeed as footfall pratter by one sound technician Fellow Beran Wahs.

3
The Onnet Etemological Source informs that it s usage is likely a cwirk or dialect partaking off both C. A. M. (CurrentOperated
Makroph[f]one and “era” a n(h)istorical turn for lokaysn or playce. Frum the 2583st sCreene off O. E. S, pt. A35@q/c;
alternate reading at enphry 2494st sCre. off abide, pt. Df26q-own “qamra” as off 26(15)08

4
In distinct.

5
What astounds myself as editor is the whole lack off awareness off the issue off transltion betwen Arbuckle and his Subject(s)
as is equaly aluf issue off our own transltiv abilitis. (o)Ne in his seeming comprehension yet continued cwestyoning off his
Subject(s)s responsees and (2)wo our own unbility to recognize the Sub.(s)es home tongue, a combination off Sedish and
Icelandish and some unknown third yet majority con tributed factor whose lexacon is alein to our and myselves.

6
Potential plosive.

7
Audio is dameged.
 Sir

Brrraeae. Grb, ‘za. Eqq’muz. Braaeaea’s. Nnml.

G. F. A.

What then do you say about the medeaEs coverage on such events
as in are potential harbingers or insighting-forces being
damaging to local economiec or communite(B)ased aspects, sir?
Sir. It seems he is passed by and weave lost, is that right,
weave lost him. Will gnow continue down this street and perhaps
encounter another’esident.

[,,,]8

Young Man! This is a news team from yore loco Station and [?] a
few cwestuns. Concerning these allegd ataks in yore neighburhood
[?] -oat or purhaps an issue of guvernment-citisen sol-[?]?

Young Man

Meetdn t. Allp. Urnrrr, fayr y’obbrg ooodt. Urnrr. Kntah stawd

braeaeaez.

G. F. A.

But yes what of these attaks -- have you witnissed any or have
heerd of such thinks of perhaps neighburs?

Young Man

Gra’Brrraeae. Zneeiaj. Yamnnn, gwteee arrep gaeee mammgggr.

Breaeez gennnnar ter ym pryyyeenz.

G. F. A.

Mrerh Young Man Young Man. Please do not thank you. Wait and aI
we want to know of your aktivitys too day? Where where you when
thse smashing windose and ackounts of bledlet’ing accurred?

Young Man

8
Shuffling and scrapeing sounds emit.
Mdawwww. Neiii dea laaktk, mme nnt p-hhsng. P-hhsng. Braeaezn
braezae mn dawtz’umn paego arnng braeeez. Nmm.

G. F. A.

Run. aI dont, aI dont care. Fuking moov. He s he know aI see.

[,,,]9

Mmm. Huuh. We. Goode. What was, I dont no I.

Unidentified

Just fuking cum at me.

G. F. A.

This is. This is bul. We have to, we have-.

En d of Full transcripton:

The Editore: As can being seen, or heerd in sum venuse, these dyelogs or cwestuns do
little in a way off shewing the spacifiks of wat maive hapen’d curcum ^[?]10 ^ dthouh
aa certay(N)n points we ar (eE) shire: humantwohuman kilings waped an(d) much off
the northe-urn an(DA) est-urn n(nD) koestull araez(s)S habintents fure the furst
“ye’ear” of this playg. [Publi(2)woers’ note: Two and three-quarter pages missing.
“Tear” marks surround the remaining quarter-page and its neighbouring edges.] -ho
we off the Fellow ore off the Fields be sure set off neidher fowl nor frayd cuntant
(2)wo or cimpeel gary on(t) ha satesfraction fo(4)r (exceptering th(3e)re) aiIml’ta-yu
ataae rust.

9
Distoted and ruptured tape artifakt.

10
Publi(2)woers’ note: A previous edition is not clear on the bend and shape of this figure -- critics and scholars currently
dispute its nature. [The initial editor and her publishers could not be reached for comment, though their lives are very much
continuing, according to E.C. modelling.] Some claim this text to be from the early ^22nd century^, while some fractious
members of the academic community place this entire manuscript a definite three hundred years prior, claiming subsequent
historical revisions on the count of their long-deceased “brethren of inquiry” and, as that old saying goes, the debate rages on.