Waiting Period for Widows

I am going to highlight one misconception prevalent in our society

for ages and that is about the Idat or waiting period of widows. My
prime source is the holy Quran which is without any ambiguity or
complication but the unfortunate reality is that Muslims as a
whole have stopped understanding it and seek other books to
compliment it before following the clear instructions. I pity the
day when we realize too late that the complaint in the Quran
made by our Prophet (s) to Allaah was about us when he said, O
My Lord! These are my people, the ones who had disabled this
Quran making it of no account. Al Furqaan 30 . The word used
in the verse is Mahjoor which means, disabled, abandoned or
neglected. They had immobilized Quran like villagers who binds a
cow by tying her front foot to her horn. The first verse of this
Surah Furqan says,
Most sacred is He who, step by step, bestowed upon His
servant, Furqan, the standard by which to discern the true from
the false, so to all the world it might be a warning
What we need to do first and foremost is, try to understand our
Book in its actual Arabic text. If that is not possible, then read the
translation in a language we understand and see if we get the
actual command or not. If both attempts fail than there
are ahadeeth but the only rule to be followed here is that if
any Hadeeth contradicts with any command of Quran, then it has
to be put aside no matter where we find it or how credible we are
told it is. Quran clearly states that our Prophet (s) did not speak
from his own will and everything he told us was from Allaah and
Allaah alone and He almighty will never tell him to say anything
that contradicts His word in the holy Quran. So we have made this
small journey which again brings us back to square one and that
is, to know our Quran in a way like we know our text books from

which we prepare for our worldly exams. If we dont know our

book, the Furqaan, then we will be misguided by ignorant,
malicious and arrogant people.
My struggle is against all those who have assumed the position of
interpreters of Islam according to their own views. Quran was
given to our holy Prophet (s) alone and no one else has the right
to elaborate any verse which was not elaborated by him. There
are clear black and white commands in the Quran and then there
are some grey areas. Allaah never forgets anything and if He
almighty has chosen to leave a grey area, it means that it has
some flexibility for us in that matter. We find in the Quran that
Allaah has shown strict displeasure in one of the verses about the
attitude of asking unnecessary questions about certain matters
when the Quran was being revealed because that meant going
into details that make commands difficult for a person to obey. It
still hold truth for us because if we are hell bent on going in
minute details, which are not there in the first place, we not only
make matters complicated for us but also for people coming after
us and make Islam too unnatural and hard system of life to follow.
In the matter of Idat or waiting period of widows, there are some
practices that are not found in the Quran or the main body
of Ahadeeth. Idat or waiting period simply means that a women
who is divorced or widowed has to spend a specific amount of
time before they can remarry. That is all there is to it! A divorced
woman has to wait for three months and a widow has to wait for
four months and ten days. If the woman is pregnant at the time of
divorce or when her husband died, she has to wait for the child to
be born and as soon as she gives birth, her waiting period ends! It
could be more that 3 or 4 months or less than 3 or 4 months. If we
claim after reading the specific commands of our Lord that we
have still not understood what is being said about Idat then let us
see the two books of Ahadeeth; Bukhari and Muslim. All I could
find in details was that a widow in her waiting period should not

use make up like Surma(used to darken the eyes) or Perfume

(even allowed in certain conditions) or very colorful clothes. That
is all! There is no command of them not getting out of their
homes to run errands or anything about going out but returning
before nightfall.
A dear sister of mine found a particular hadeeth in Tirmizi on my
request which states that once a woman asked permission from
our holy prophet (s) in a particular circumstance, the Prophet (s)
misunderstood her for the first time and then again called her and
gave the command to stay in her home for the waiting period.
Even though I have learnt from different scholars that no verdict
in the matter of Ahkamaat can be deducted from a
single hadeeth but for arguments sake, let us see what the
hadeeth states,
Zaynab bint Kab ibn Ujrah reported that al-Furayah bint Maalik
ibn Sinaan, the sister of Abu Saeed al-Khudri, told her that she
came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) and asked him whether she should go back to her
people among Banu Khudrah. Her husband had gone out in
pursuit of some rebellious slaves of his, and when he caught up
with them at the edge of al-Qadoom, they killed him. She said: I
asked the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) whether I should go back to my family, because my
husband had not left me a place to live that belonged to him, or
any money for provisions. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said yes, so I started to leave,
and I had reached the hujurah (room) or the mosque, when the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
called me or told someone to call me. So I came back, and he
asked me, What did you say? I repeated the story I had told him
about my husband. He said: Stay in your house for the specified
length of time. So I spent my iddah there, four months and ten
days. At the time of Uthmaan, he sent word to me asking about

this, so I told him, and he followed what I said and judged in

accordance with it. Muhammad ibn Bashshaar told us that
Yahyaa ibn Saeed informed us that Sad ibn Ishaaq ibn Kab ibn
Ujrah informed us of something similar. Reported by al-Tirmidhi,
who said: This is asaheeh hasan hadeeth. The majority of scholars
among the Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) and others followed this hadeeth and did not
allow a widow to move out of her husbands home until her
iddah was over. (Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 1125)
They say its a Sahih Hasan hadeeth, meaning its very credible
and on its basis it is said, This is the view of all four Imams and
most of the companions of the Prophet (PBUH). The majority of
scholars among the companions of Prophet (s) and others
followed this hadeeth and did not allow a widow to move out of
her husbands home until her iddah was over. Now I dont know
who Muhammad ibn Bashshaar, Yahyaa ibn Saeed, Sad ibn
Ishaaq ibn Kab ibn Ujrah or Tirmidhi was or whether the above
hadeeth narrated was put in the book by him or not because
there is much ambiguity about the compilation and protection
of ahadeeth. I know one fact for sure and that is, no companion or
any Imam had the right or authority to settle a problem according
to their own opinion if its answer was already there in the Quran.
The Imams were not prophets and never claimed to be prophets
so their opinion was to guide someone in a problem in which they
found no answer from Quran or Hadeeth, to a person who trusted
them to guide him. It is also my firm belief that the companions of
our Prophet (s), especially the 3rd pious caliph Usman Ghani (r)
who was one of the closest companions and the son-in-law of the
holy Prophet (s), knew more about Quran than any other ordinary
companions of his time. He would not give a ruling that
contradicts a direct verse of the holy Quran. For me, I will put
aside this dubious hadeeth and follow my Allaah in which he is
giving crystal clear command with no ambiguity. Al Baqarah 240,

And those people who die and leave behind them their wives,
they should put in their will that their wives will not be forced out
of their homes for one year and their basic needs will be provided
to them. But if the women wants to leave their homes in their own
accord, there shall be no sin on you at whatever they chose for
themselves in a lawful manner! And Allaah is Azizun Hakeem.
(Allaah is Almighty and Wise).
This verse is so profound that it makes me cry whenever I read it
and praise Allaah for all his Wisdom and Mercy. On one hand, He
almighty is protecting a frail woman from being forced out of her
home when her husband/protector dies and she is left alone by
commanding that no one should force her out and give her plenty
of time to regain her emotional balance in a familiar house, while
providing for her basic needs, to get her life in order. At the very
same time, He Almighty is also giving complete authority in the
hands of that widow to do whatever she wants to do according to
her wishes with a condition of (Mim Maroof). If she wants to leave
the house of husband or in-laws and spend her waiting period at
any other place, she is free to do that and the family members
are told not to stop her and let her use her better judgement by
telling them that they are not responsible for any decision that
she makes for herself. Can any sane Muslim, after reading this
clear cut verse, imagine that Usman (r) would give a ruling in
which the companions did not allow a widow to move out of her
husbands home until her iddah was over? I as a borderline
Muslim would never believe that because I know that all
companions knew their Quran and were not dependent on the
narration of one person to give a ruling against a clear verse of
Quran. It is as simple for me as that because I have now refused
to be brainwashed and led by false scholars and unreliable
sources when I have my ever green Quran to counter check
authenticity of any statement.

The first command of Allaah with regards to a widow are in verses

233/234/235 of Al Baqarah. The commands are not only crystal
clear but also the most emancipated ones for women if we
compare how widows were treated in other parts of the world like
for example, the Sub continent. A widow was told to take her own
life in the form of Satti if her husband died and burn herself in the
fire of his Chitta because she had no purpose to her meaningless
life after him. If she was not bold enough to take her life, then she
could never remarry, always wear colorless clothes, no makeup or
participation in any happy occasion and remain at the bottom of a
society all her life as an outcast. Islam on the other hand, just
asks her to wait for 4 months and 10 days before she can remarry
and lead a perfectly normal life. The waiting period is most
probably there just to make sure if she is carrying a child and
avoid confusion at the paternity of the child if she marries at once
after the death of her first husband. This could be the wisdom
behind it but the most emancipated command is, even in the
waiting period, a women can receive a proposal from a potential
spouse who wants to make sure that she knows he is interested in
marring her! The command is not to formalize anything until the
waiting period is over. The verse goes,
Those of you who die and leave behind wives, these widows
should keep themselves in check for four months and ten days.
When the waiting period is over, there is no sin on you in
whatever they decide for themselves in a lawful manner (Bil
Maroof) and Allaah is aware of whatever you do. And there is no
sin on you if you send a proposal of Niqah or hide it in your heart.
Allaah knows that you will disclose it to them but dont make a
hidden promise apart from saying something in a decent manner.
Dont tie the knot till the waiting period is over. Allaah knows what
is in your hearts so fear Him. And know that Allaah is all Forgiving
and Forbearing.

There is no monasticism in Islam which restricts a woman to shun

her routine life and impose undue restrictions on her. For
example, if a working woman is widowed and now has to take
care of her family on her own, should she just quit her job if she
does not get a leave for four month and ten days? Is that natural
and helpful in her crisis or should she just continue with her
regular job keeping in mind that her dress and overall physical
appearance should be dignified and not give a person any wrong
ideas about her status? I strongly believe that Allaah has clearly
left this choice to the widow. If she wants to stay in her home for
four month and ten days, it is her decision and it should be
respected. If she wants to go outside her home for any valid
reason, she also has that God given right to do so. Society, family
members or other well-meaning people have no right what so
ever to impose any restrictions on her. That is the one thing
Allaah has strictly forbidden them to do but unfortunately, that is
exactly what our society has been doing for ages. Overbearing
brothers, sons, uncles or self-proclaimed defenders and preachers
of Islam force women to let go of this right given to her by Allaah
and make her face a most emotionally traumatic time in isolation,
away from a normal life, making her believe that it is what Allaah
wants her to do. Astagfirullaah!
I hope we make our Deen clear from ambiguity, know our Quran
and take our precise guidance from it. One of the greatest
philosopher/thinker of our time, Allaama Mohammad Iqbal, who
was a most intellectual and learned person, shunned all kinds of
books in his mature age and read only the holy Quran for true
guidance. He felt that a lot of dust had fallen on the real face of
Islam in the times when Islamic Khilafat changed into Kingship.
The Muslim kings and their officials in the guise of Islam, used
different scholars to change Islamic rulings, create a lot of
deviations to suite their own whims and wishes. So much of the
stuff we have now in our libraries is untrustworthy and polluted.

Islam is the sweetest, most gentle and natural way of life chosen
for us by our Allaah. It was sent to liberate the oppressed and
create a balance which makes it easy for people to live a
righteous life. It is my firm belief that only by returning to the
original, genuine and unpolluted form of guidance in the form of
Quran, can we truly please our Lord and practice our Deen in the
true spirit in which it was revealed to our holy Prophet (s). May
Allaah guide our hearts and minds and accept all our sincere
deeds. Ameen!