LEGAL WRITING

EXERCISE 5
NAME:
MANALO,
SCORE: ___________

MARIA

ANNA

INTEGRATION:
ACTIVE VOICE, CLARITY, SIMPLICITY, LEGALESE AND TECHNICAL
LANGUAGE
Read each item VERY CAREFULLY: pay attention to the words and
phrases. Understand their meaning and context. If necessary, improve the
sentence/s in each item, applying the basic rules in legal writing. Do not
answer the items IMPULSIVELY. See if your answer still needs improvement
before finalizing it. If the item does not need improvement, write NA on the
blanks. Some words and phrases are underlined to guide you. Consult a
dictionary for unfamiliar words, even familiar ones whose meanings you
might take for granted. Insert your answers below each item.
1. He who is able to find a treasure wheresoever in a property which is
owned by the Republic of the Philippines shall be entitled to a onehalf share thereof. (Legalese, wordy, redundant, abstract: )
Any person is entitled to one-half of the treasure he found in a
property owned by the Republic of the Philippines.
2. Although the opposing party was hungry, Mark McArthur offered
Dennis Duke a ham sandwich. (Wrong connective, ambiguous
descriptive)
Although from the opposing party, Mark McArthur offered Dennis
Duke a ham sandwich.
3. The reglementary period for filing an answer is ten (10) days
counted from the time the defendant receives a copy of the
complaint. (Legalese, use of participle, tautology, absence of a
doer)
The last day for filing an answer is ten (10) days from receipt of the
complaint.
4. I personally think that the situation confronting the litigants are
altogether beyond the jurisdiction of the courts for the reason that
these issues are primarily of a religious nature, and therefore, as
such, the State, through the judicial system, cannot intervene on

religious matters. (Redundant, wordy, stating the obvious, subjectverb agreement)

The litigants situation, primarily of a religious nature, are beyond
the jurisdiction of the courts.
5. In the absence of any proof to the contrary, the court should presume that
the administrator's functions have not ceased. (Negatives, legalese)

Without any evidence, termination of the administrators functions should

not be presumed by the court.

6. Defendants objections are in violation of Rule 167 of the Rules of

Evidence obtaining in the State of Mississippi. (Legalese, passive)
Defendants objections violate Rule 167 of the Rules of Evidence in
the State of Mississippi.
7. Jurisdiction on the subject matter was conferred on the Regional
Trial Court on the strength of Batas Pambansa Blg. 129, as
amended. The complaint was dismissed with prejudice on 31 March
1999, and a decision was issued in favor of Jack Johnson. Despite of
this, a timely notice of appeal was filed by Sue Simmons on 28
August 2014. Jurisdiction is conferred on this court by virtue of
Article 193 of the Intellectual Property Code. (Wordy, passive, wrong
usages, legalese) (NOTE: Dismissed with prejudice means that the
plaintiff is barred from filing a similar complaint.)
Batas Pambansa Blg. 129, as amended, conferred the jurisdiction
on the subject matter to the Regional Trial Court. On 31 March
1999, a decision was rendered in favor of Jack Johnson, which also
barred the filing of a similar complaint.
8. The obligor is obliged to pay legal interest of six per centum (6%) of
the amounts owing and outstanding in favor of the creditor for
every day that he incurs in delay from the time that the latter
makes a demand upon him, written or oral, or even without need of
demand, until the said amounts owed and outstanding shall have
been fully paid by him. (Wordy, legalese, repetitive, lack of
parallelism, complex, tautology)
The debtor must pay a six percent interest for every day that the
creditor makes a demand
9. However much this Court may sympathize with the plight of the
appellant, it should be noted that the appellant, Burt Burke, has

brought the situation upon himself for his failure to file a responsive
pleading within the reglementary period under Rule 197 of the Rules
of Court. Perforce, he should suffer the consequences. (Legalese,
wordy, repetitive) (Tips omitted)
The Court finds that appellant Burt Burke has brought the situation
upon himself for failing to file a responsive pleading on time under
Rule 197 of the Rules of Court.
10. The answer was filed in a timely manner, i.e. within ten (10) days
from the time when the defendant was served summons and
received a copy of the complaint. (Nominalization, legalese, wordy,
passive voice, tautology)
The defendant filed his answer on time.
11. The Daly City Government provided assistance to those people,
whether residents or not, who were affected by the earthquake that
struck Daly City. (Nominalization, tautology, cluttered)
The Daly City Government assisted the victims of the earthquake
that hit the city.
12. You will be required by Canadian immigration authorities arriving
at Vancouver airport to present your passport and visa. (Wordy,
tautology, passive)
Upon arrival at Vancouver airport, present your passport and visa to
the immigration authorities.
13. Your Honor, I would be very much grateful if you take the time
out to hear my principal defense that the accused could not have
killed the murdered victim at the place where she is alleged to have
done so for the reason that she was nearly immobile at the time
when the murder was committed for the simple reason that she had
arthritis, and could only move very slowly as she was using crutches
at the time. (Long winded, repetitive, tautology, too many
subordinate clauses) (NOTE: You may break down this sentence into
two or more sentences).
Your Honor, it would have been impossible for the accused to
murder the victim, since at the time it was committed she was
suffering from arthritis and were in crutches.

14. It dawned upon Attorney Rick Rice to ask his client if she is
desirous of seeking pecuniary damages against Macrohard
Corporation for the loss of all her electronic data. (Legalese,
tautology) (Tips omitted)
Atty. Rick Rice asked his client if she wants to pursue monetary
damages against Macrohard Corporation.
15. Having seized evidence without the requisite warrant, an
explanation to the court was necessary. (Dangling modifier, lack of a
doer, passive) (Tips not needed)
Collecting evidence without a warrant requires an explanation in
court.
16. The pre-trial was a failure, not having studied the possibility of
amicable settlement.
(Passive, dangling modifier, lack of a doer or doers) (Tips not
needed)
Not having studied the possibility of a settlement, the pre-trial
failed.
17. Trademark and tradename infringement, because of the lack of
government monitoring and surveillance, is increasing rapidly.
(Misplaced clause)
Trademark and tradename infringement is increasing rapidly
because of the lack of government monitoring and surveillance.
18. For rendering unauthorized consultancy work for a rival bank got
Bart Barnes fired. (No clear subject or doer, or predicate, lack of
clarity) (WARNING: Be very careful in answering this item.) (Tips not
needed)
Bart Barnes got fired for rendering unauthorized consultancy work
for a rival bank.
19. I am herewith returning the stipulation to dismiss in the above
entitled matter; the same being duly executed by me. (Legalese)
(Tips not needed)
I am returning this provision to dismiss the aforementioned matter.

20. The employer contests the plaintiffs denial that the appellate
court erred by reversing the trial courts conclusion that the plaintiff
had not sufficiently pleaded his vicarious liability claim. (Legalese)
The employer opposed the appellate courts decision finding him
vicariously liable.
BONUS:
21. Mrs. Betty Bubuyog made a decision that Bhong Bugayong will
be the one who will train the students on how to dance tinikling.
(siya na ang mag-tetrain)
Bhong Bugayong will train the students with tinikling.
22. The prosecutor asked the witness about the gift that the accused
gave her: Did you like? (nagustuhan mo ba?)
The prosecutor asked whether the witness liked the gift given by
the accused.
23. It is with great pleasure that I am presenting to you our proposal
of the price of P1 million for our information management system to
your most prestigious law office.
I am presenting our proposal of one million pesos (P1,000,000.00)
for our information management system to you law office.
24. It is requested that your comments to the proposed draft be
transmitted forthwith.
It is requested that your comments to the draft be sent
immediately.
25. The adverse counsel for the defendant suspected the counsel for
the plaintiff of doctoring the evidence. (dinoktor niya and
ebidensya)
The defendants counsel suspected the plaintiffs counsel of
falsifying the evidence.