AMERICAN COLLEGE OF DUBAI

Anthropology ATH 111

MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING
HAREEM ARSHAD
8/11/2015
SubmitTed to Dr. Poonam Singh

My Big Fat Greek Wedding Anthropological Analysis

Introduction
When you come from a different culture, especially when you are so
attached to that culture, it becomes very difficult to have to go against your
usual cultural ways. Trying to please your family and yourself can even
become a challenge, when the two of you want alternative things, and have
such contrasting point of views. My Big Fat Greek Wedding is a romantic
comedy; which tells a story about a young American woman of Greek
descent named Toula, who lives in Chicago with her big family. Coming from
a very traditional upbringing, she faces the deep questions of priorities in
life. Ranging from the role of family in a contemporary society, to the
pressures placed upon her by her cultural norms. Things arent going well
because her eccentric father insists on her finding a good husband obviously
of Greek origin. One day Toula meets a young American Yan and they fall in
love. Toulas father does not like the idea of his daughter not being happy so
he gives in and blesses their union. In this movie we find out what the young
American has to learn and understand to get to know more about the Greek
the culture. The concepts that Ill be covering in this analysis are of
Patriarchy/Male Dominance, Ethnocentrism/Cultural Relativism, Individualistic
and Collectivistic cultures and Culture Change.

Patriarchy /Gender roles

Patriarchy is social system in which the power is held by men,
through cultural norms and customs that favor men and withhold opportunity
from women. It seems like in Toulas family the father manages everything.
He is the head of their family, and his word is law. This is an example of
typical patriarchy. Males dominate all decision making. It is important to
note that Toulas father- Gus represents the voice of the Greek society in
Chicago as he tries to impose norms upon his daughter. For example: when
Ian came to Toulas house to speak with her father and ask if he could marry
her. In the beginning Gus wouldnt agree and he defended his position very
clearly but after some time Gus changed his opinion about Toulas
relationship with an American man. And finally he accepted the fact that his
daughter is going to marry the person of a different cultural background. It is

once again the example of typical patriarchy because without Gus's blessing
the marriage wouldn't have taken place in the future. His word and decision
are law and nobody in family would confront him. We can see it in the scene
when Gus was not happy to see his American son in law. He was very angry
and he did not want to speak with Ian. Toula was very upset and nervous.
Maria, Toula's mother, was upset as well. They realized that if Gus didnt
accept Ian, the marriage was out of the question and Toula would not be
happy because she can't confront her fathers decision.

Gender Roles
We can see a clear division between women's and men's position
throughout the movie. The traditional Greek womans role is made very
clear, starting with Toulas voice-over monologue at the beginning. According
to Toula, Nice Greek girls are supposed to do three things in life: marry
Greek boys, make Greek babies, and feed everyone until the day we die.
These goals are epitomized in Athena, Toulas older sister, who married
young and became a Greek baby-breeding machine. According to her
familys norms, women who are not married work in the family business and
are considered a failure. In their turn men should work and protect the
family. In this movie according to Gus women don't need education. And we
see his discontent when Toula asks him about her going to college. Gus did
not want her daughter to study. He wanted his daughter to get married and
have children. We see the difference in Toulas and Gus's opinions in the
scenes where Toula was dreaming of getting education , a good job and
independence but Gus did not like her idea.
Toulas mother, Maria also follows these traditional Greek roles
throughout the film. She has had three children with Gus and runs the family
restaurant, cleans and cooks for the entire family (often feeding people when
they are not even hungry). But there are also instances when Maria breaks
the submissive role and takes a more dominant position. When Toula wants
to go to college but Gus resists, as I mentioned earlier, Maria reassures her
daughter that she will talk to him. According to Maria, The man is the head,
but the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head any way she wants.
Maria uses guilt to cause Gus to change his mind. In this case it is not the
man with the power, although he may think he has it, but the woman. These
words are put into action in the scene, when Maria sets in place a plan that
makes Gus think that Toula working in the travel agency was his idea.

Although Gus thinks that he has absolute control over his family, what Maria
does is to cleverly manipulate the situation in her favor.
Toula is also seen trying to defy the very traditional gender roles. Toula
breaks the mold by first going to college and then leaving the family
restaurant to work at a travel agency even though she isnt married. Toula
challenges her fathers power when she dates Ian, a non-Greek. She is
fighting the unwritten rule that all women have to marry who their father
wishes. Toula and Ian have an egalitarian relationship as neither of them put
themselves in importance above the other.

Collectivistic/Individualistic cultures
In this movie we can clearly trace the concepts of collectivistic and
individualistic culture. Toulas family represents the Greek collectivistic
culture. First of all I would like to explain what makes these two cultures
different. Collectivist culture is the one in which people tend to view
themselves as members of groups( families, work units, tribes, nations), and
usually consider the needs of the group to be more important than the needs
of individuals, they are very vertical where a lot of power and respect is
given to elders. Individualistic cultures on the other hand, are those that
stress the needs of the individual over the needs of the group as a whole.
They are horizontal and the decision making id in the individuals hands as
oppose to the elders. In this type of culture, people are seen as independent
and autonomous. Social behavior tends to be dictated by the attitudes and
preferences of individuals. Cultures in North America and Western Europe
tend to be individualistic, whereas most Asian cultures tend to be collectivist.
However, in this film we come across the example of Greek collectivistic
culture where every member of a large family is up with doings of others
relatives. Everybody is very interested in kinsmans life. We can observe it in
the scene where Toulas parents are talking about their daughters life with
Toulas aunt. Aunt showed an enormous interest in Toulas life and in life of
all her family. She asks questions, gives advices. And she speaks about Toula
like about her own daughter. It means that all family members are very close
and important to each other. During the movie, she struggles to get her
familys acceptance while struggling with her own internalized Issues about
her cultural identity, and her struggle with the rules and values. She faces
the clash between her collectivistic culture and with that of the American
individualistic culture, which are poles apart.

Ethnocentrism/cultural relativism/culture shock

Ian receives a culture shock when he finds out the type of family
Toula is from. Compared with Toulas big family he comes from an only child
American family. In her family not only is there a Mom and Dad and brother
and sister, there are aunts and uncles, endless no. of cousins and a live-in
Grandma as well. There is a scene depicting just this when Toula asks Ian,
So, you have only two cousins, I have 27 first cousins. Just 27 first cousins
alone! And my whole family is big and loud. And everybody is in each other's
lives and business.
Another example is a scene where Toulas father comes through with a
plate of meat, and Ians parents turn it down, he looks seriously hurt, as if
turning down food is something you just dont do in Greek culture. That is
definitely a case of culture shock, because while Ians parents meant it
innocently, Gus took it offensively. You can tell that abundance of people, the
loud music, the endless foods and drinks, and the jests of the guests are too
much for Ians parents, and they are overwhelmed by the experience
because it is something they had never been through before.
Despite being from such opposite backgrounds, they are willing to look
past all the differences and love each other and be together. When Toula
tells him that it wont work out because of our cultural difference, he says,
So what? We are not a different species. This shows cultural relativism
where you regard the beliefs, values, and practices of a culture from the
viewpoint of that culture itself. They were accepting and learning each
others differences.

Ethnocentrism is a major reason for divisions amongst members

of different ethnicities, races, and religious groups in society. Ethnocentrism
is the belief of superiority is one's personal ethnic group, but it can also
develop from racial or religious differences. Ethnocentric individuals believe
that they are better than other individuals for reasons based solely on their
heritage. Clearly, this practice is related to problems of both racism and
prejudice. The entire movie showcases about how Toulas Greek family thinks
that being Greek is the only acceptable way of living. They are ridiculously
obsessed with Greek being the best and how Greeks should only be with
Greeks to breed more Greeks. There are numerous scenes in the movie
where the father shows his strong ethnocentrism. Talking to Toula, he says,

There are two kinds of people: Greeks and everybody else who wish they
were Greeks. Toulas father also constantly states that he can trace any
word back to Greek origins. He says, Give me a word, any word, and I show
you that the root of that word is Greek.
However strong their ethnocentrism was, they did open up in the movie.
As we have seen their Greek daughter found the least Greek guy to marry.
Nothing about him was Greek and even though they hated it at first, they
finally opened up to him. She begins by dating him secretly, while lying to
her family and telling her family she is taking a pottery class, in fear that
they will find out she is dating a non-Greek man. When her family does find
out, they pressure her to leave him. She states that she loves him and
continues her relationship with him. Ian then pops the question; Toula
accepts, causing her father to go into a great shock and depression.

Acculturation/cultural symbolism
Many of the scenes showcase the differences between Ians White
Anglo-Saxon Protestant family and Toulas Greek one. Employing the usual
cultural stereotypes of WASPs as closed off and restrained, and of Greeks as
expressive and out-going, the film shows the difficulties the two parental
generations have in accepting that their children are becoming part of a
family so different from their own. As they struggle to connect with each
other, the parents show the real differences between them. My Big Fat Greek
Wedding portrays Toula discovering that she cannot completely abandon her
family and its way of life despite her love for Ian. Luckily for her, Ian is
himself completely pliable and agrees to do whatever it takes to get Toulas
family to accept him and their love. As the film criticizes Gus for demanding
obedience from Toula rather than supporting her quest for fulfillment on her
own terms, it does not require that the young lovers break up. The only
question is how to integrate Ian into it.
In Greek culture there are some rituals which the husband and wife to
be should go through. The 1st one is that their union should be blessed by
the father of the family. The next ritual is that both members of the future
union should be orthodox. We witness Ian's christening according to the
Greek Orthodox Church traditions. He agreed to it because of his love for
Toula and it was the only way for him to get permission and a blessing to
marry her from the family. Ians is showing acculturation as he was
baptized by an Orthodox priest in an Orthodox Church in the presence of all

the members of Toula's family. The 3rd step is a big wedding celebration with
lots of traditional dishes. We see in the movie an enormous wedding with
many guests. The traditional wedding ceremony in the church forms part of
the ritual which is followed by a big party in the restaurant with great plates
of food. All this is a different cultural symbol which is very important in the
Greek culture. Therefore it can be concluded that Ians decision to be
baptized can lead to showing key sociological concepts of assimilation
because he will be with his wife every day and will see how to be in a Greek
Orthodox family and may do traditions or actions of his wifes family.

Conclusion:
My Big Fat Greek wedding shows views of the world of traditional Greek
culture, the food, the loudness, and the strong family values. The movie
shows the key sociological/anthropological concepts of accommodation
because the film portrays the need to overcome ethnic differences while not
diminishing the beauty of ethnic tradition. Toula struggles to get her familys
acceptance while struggling with her own internalized Issues about her
cultural identity, and her struggle with the rules and values. Overall, there
are definite genders roles described throughout the movie; these roles are
being challenged instead of perpetuating them. In the end, though Toula has
married, become a mother, and is sending her daughter to a Greek school.
She has upd the gender roles by attending college, making independent
relationship decisions and marrying the man of her dreams. In general the
movie was great, I really enjoyed the way they intertwined a comedy with
real social and cultural issues. As a comedy many of the details are
exaggerated for sensationalism, but the themes are real-life issues that
many cultures face.